05x17 - The g*n

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Gimme a Break!" Aired: October 29, 1981 – May 12, 1987.*
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Nell Harper is the no-nonsense housekeeper and surrogate mother for police chief Carl Kanisky's children: Samantha, Julie and Katie.
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05x17 - The g*n

Post by bunniefuu »

[ Swing music plays ] I got it!



[ Swing music plays ] I got it!


That's it, girl. Oh, I can do that.


All right. I got it.


Hey, neat. You're jitterbugging.


Oh, joey, how would you know?


I saw "the benny goodman story" on tv last week.


Oh, yeah? Well, come on and show us what you can do.


Uh-oh.


Well, now, wait a minute.


No. No.


He's embarrassing me. I can't take it.


[ Music stops ]


How come you guys are dancing


In the middle of the afternoon?


Well, tonight is glenlawn junior college's annual prom.


And they're gonna have two bands


That are gonna play music all the way from the 's


Right on up to the 's.


That's right. There's a dance contest and everything.


I'm gonna win that dance contest.


That's right. Her date is jerry wilkins.


He's the coach of the wrestling team.


Can he jitterbug, aunt nell?


Well, I know he can do a flying body slam, but...


I -- I don't know


If his body is too muscle-bound to dance.


Girl, you know what I was thinking of?


Mm-hmm.


No!


I was thinking about that adorable red dress you wore


To our first prom back in alabama, remember?


Oh, I was adorable, wasn't i?


But that dress was blue.


No, it wasn't. The dress was red, nell.


No, no. It was blue, addy.


All right.


Joey, would you please get my picture album


From out of the bottom drawer of my dresser, please?


Sure, aunt nell. I love old pictures.


It's not that old.


Girl, that dress was as red


As that lipstick you wore.


Addy, I never wore lipstick in high school.


The guys liked for my pucker to be natural.


Oh.


[ Metal clanks ]


You're getting old, addy.


Your mind is going, and your body ain't too far behind.


Oh, wait a minute.


I remember -- it's not in the drawer.


It's on the nightstand.


Blue! Red!


Joey, what are you doing with the --


[ g*nsh*t ]


Oh, my foot.


It's okay, joey.


I'm all right, I'm all right, I'm all right.


What happened? Oh, my god.


No, it's okay. Stop it.


I got accidentally sh*t in the foot, but I'm all right.


Joey, I'm gonna be okay, baby.


It's all right, honey.


♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


{,…}


I'm sorry, nell. It was on my route.


Hey, everybody, she's home.


Nell, will you let me help you?


I told you, I can walk!


Sam are you okay?


Don't be making a big deal out of this.


I was only in the hospital overnight.


How's joey? Joey's fine.


Don't you lie to me and tell me joey's fine.


He was so upset, he didn't even come to the hospital to see me.


Julie, I want you to be perfectly honest with me.


Has joey been out of his room since I've been gone?


He went to the playground.


Poor baby. Of course.


He knew I was coming home. He's too afraid to face me.


He's probably sitting somewhere on a swing,


Crying his little heart out.


Oh, what have I done to my poor, little baby?


Here, nell. Put these behind your back.


Oh, thank you, jonathan. Now, listen, guys.


I don't want you to be treating me like an invalid, okay?


After all, the doctor says that it's not really that serious,



Even though it does give me great pain.


But you know me. I'm not a whiner.


I'm not gonna let a simple, little thing


Like getting sh*t in the foot


Stop me from doing all the things


That I've been doing for y'all all along 'round here.


Now, who's gonna cook dinner?


I thought I'd bring in a pizza from luigi's.


Pizza for a woman that was near death's door


From getting sh*t in the foot?


You just said the doctor told you it wasn't all that serious.


Doctors always say that.


Then they make you sign a piece of paper


Saying it's not their fault if you die.


Would you help me get my foot on the table? Do something!


Get it up on the table and get out of the way.


Get away. Thank you.


Nell, I'll be happy to make dinner.


Hey, I've got a better idea. I'll cook dinner tonight.


You never told me you could cook.


Well, I like to keep a little mystery in our marriage.


Besides, I make a great tuna casserole.


Do we have any flour?


Flour for a tuna casserole?


Oh, you'll love it.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Oh, I'll get it, nell.


No, let me.


Hi, addy. Hi, sam.


Well, how's the patient?


Okay.


Here.


Thank you, addy.


Um, addy, do you want to stay for dinner?


Jonathan's making tuna casserole with flour.


I'd love to, but, thank goodness, I have a dinner date.


Take me with you. I'll pick up the check.


Oh, samantha, stop it.


Go in there and tell him to call for a pizza.


Bless you, nell.


I will never forget you for this.


Jonathan, stop!


So, how did joey take it when he saw you like this?


He hasn't even seen me.


Poor baby's probably sitting on a park bench somewhere,


Just crying his little eyes out, too afraid to face me.


Well, that's understandable. Poor joey.


Oh, addy, I just hope he gets over this.


I wouldn't want him to grow up with the memory of this.


How long are you gonna be in that cast?


Two weeks.


There's another dance coming up.


Oh, I hate I missed that prom.


Oh, and it was a great prom.


Who told you it was a great prom?


Nobody. I just guessed.


You went to my dance?


Me go to a dance when my best friend


Is laid up in the hospital?


I'm sorry. You should be.


I said I was sorry. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.


I shouldn't have asked you that.


That's right.


Addy, would you sit next to me, please?


Please?


[ Both chuckle ]


Would you put your hand on my wounded foot?


Please?


N-n-not that hand!


Y-your left hand.


Raise your right hand.


Swear to me you didn't go to my dance.


Oh, nell.


How many times you dance with jerry?


I didn't count.


You did go to my dance?


Nell, I had to. I'm part of the faculty.


I guess you just had to dance with my date!


He asked me. I couldn't very well refuse him.


Besides, you'll be happy to know he isn't muscle-bound.


Joey see you later, timmy!


Addy, that's joey. What am I gonna say to him?


He must be feeling so guilty.


Hi, aunt nell! Hi, addy!


Did you see the guilt on his face?


Not really. He was running so fast.


No, addy.


That was guilt...


Just dripping from every pore.


[ Sighs ]


Addy, I feel terrible. This is all my fault.


Oh, nell, that's ridiculous.


It's nobody's fault. It was an accident.


Joey dropped the g*n.


Addy, if you don't have a g*n in the house,


There won't be a g*n for a little boy to drop.


I mean, I kept intending to ask simpson to come over


To pick up the chief's g*n after he passed away,


But I just kept forgetting it.


Now, because of me,



My poor little baby's walking around feeling miserable.


See you later.


Uh, joey, c-could you get me my cane, please?


Um, can't. I'm late for practice.


[ Sighs ]


I'm sorry, aunt nell. Here's your cane.


Oh, thank you, honey.


Aunt nell, there's something I got to talk to you about.


Oh, why don't you come sit right here


Next to aunt nell, okay?


Okay.


All right, joey.


Um, there's something you want to tell me?


Oh, joey, would you rather I left?


Oh, no. Um, it's okay.


Um, I forgot, aunt nell. Timmy's mom wants me for dinner.


Okay, aunt nell?


Well, honey -- thanks a lot.


Hey, timmy, it's okay!


He doesn't care.


Just doesn't care.


Oh, nell, joey's just a little boy.


Yeah, he's just a little boy.


Just a little boy who doesn't love me.


I mean, the sight of me


With bandages all over my foot doesn't bother him one bit.


Oh, nell, stop carrying on. That's the way kids are.


Addy, the little boy


That I thought loved me like a mother turns out not to,


And all you tell me is to stop carrying on?!


[ Sighs ]


I don't see how anything could be worse!


[ Doorbell rings ]


Believe me, nell.


A lot worse things could happen in your life.


Well, this is a fine mess you got yourself in this time, nell.


Mama!


Well, nell, how are you feeling? Oh, I'm doing just fine, grandpapa.


I'm doing like the doctor says and staying off my foot.


Shame he didn't tell you to stay off your mouth.


[ Laughs ]


Oh, maybelle, it's great to have you around again,


Especially after that meat loaf you made last night.


Bet you liked it better than nell's.


We are talking apples and oranges.


Okay, all set, grandpa.


Nell, jonathan and I are going to your mechanic's


To get your car.


Hey, nell, I just called sal bonaduce.


He said it's all tuned up and ready to go.


That's what he said two weeks ago,


And it was ready to go right back to sal bonaduce.


Nell, when we get back,


You and I are gonna have a red-hot game of gin rummy.


Forget it, stanley. Nell will be taking a nap.


Oh, that's right, grandpapa.


And then, when I wake up, I'm gonna have some warm milk,


And then mama's gonna burp me.


Jonathan...


No, let's go. It's not a picture I care to see.


Okay, nell. Put your head down here, honey.


Time for your beddy-bye.


Mama, please. I told you.


I'm not going to take a nap, okay?


Yes, you are.


Mama, since you have been here,


I have taken five pain pills,


And not one of them was for the pain in my foot.


Nell, I have never met anyone as ungrateful as you.


When I heard about your foot, I jumped on the first plane.


Have you said, "thank you, mama"?


No.


I have been doing all the cooking and cleaning.


Have you said, "thank you, mama"? Unh-unh.


And I have straightened this family out for you.


Have you said, "thank you, mama"? No.


Well, I'm going to my room,


And I ain't talking to you until my plane leaves.


Thank you, mama.


I'm really sorry, sam. It was all my fault.


No, it wasn't, joey.


Yes, it was. I threw the ball too hard.


I was never any good at baseball, anyway.


Hey. What happened?


Oh, joey and I were playing baseball,


And the ball hit my finger.


You know, it could be a bad sprain.


I'll get some ice.


My coach says ice is great for sprains.


I don't know why joey's making such a big deal about it.


Actually, the worst part is, I broke a nail.


Let me see.


See? It's nothing.


You're right. It's nothing.


I'm real sorry about your finger, sam.


Why don't you come up to my room,


And you can soak your finger in this ice?


Joey, I told you, it doesn't even hurt.


Look, I don't want to take any chances.


The ice will help.



My foot's doing much better, joey.


Thank you for asking.


Here's a snack for you, nell.


Mama, I thought you were taking a vow of silence.


Mothers never take a vow of silence.


It's against nature.


Mama, I -- I'm really not hungry, okay?


Oh, you will be when you taste my leftover meat loaf.


Mama, you couldn't make me eat that meat loaf


If you were to put a g*n to my other foot.


Okay.


I'll just leave it there for you.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Oh, come in!


Hi.


Hi.


How are you feeling?


I'm okay.


Good. Um, look, nell.


I don't want to interfere,


But I just talked to your psychology professor.


Professor barrett?


Yeah, well, I know how worried you are about joey,


So I thought I'd ask him his opinion.


Well, what did he say?


Oh, um, well, he says that joey


Is just going through a common reaction for a child


After an accident like this.


It's called a classic case of unconscious denial.


Of course.


Of course. How stupid of me.


I've been so worried about joe,


I didn't even think about that.


You've heard of it?


Oh, yeah. I read this terrific paper on it.


It says that when children cause accidents,


Sometimes they put up a block.


That's their way of protecting themselves from guilt.


About the guilt...


Professor barrett said, because of it, they act hyper,


And then they try to pretend the accident didn't even happen.


So that's why he won't talk to me.


You know he won't even stay in the room with me


For five minutes?


Well, nell, maybe you're just gonna have to talk to joey.


Are you kidding?


Addy, suppose I find out


That it's not unconscious denial.


Suppose I find out that he really doesn't love me?


Oh.


I mean, suppose I find out


That he doesn't care whether I live or die.


Oh, addy, suppose I find out


That he doesn't care if I ever go to another prom...


With a wrestling coach


That happened to spend the whole night dancing


With my so-called best friend.


You had to throw that in.


Well, you could use a little guilt, too.


Well, when you've had as good a time as I had,


Who cares about the guilt?


Just kidding. Come on.


Look, I've got to get back to college


'Cause I've got a meeting, but I'll be back later.


Honey, don't worry. It'll work out.


For me and joey or you and the wrestling coach?


Ugh.


[ Door closes ]


[ Sighs ]


[ Door opens ] maybelle was that addy?


Yeah.


Well, how come she didn't say hello to me?


Because she came to see me, mama.


She came to tell me


That my psychology professor says


That joey is denying his guilt.


Child psychologist -- huh!


If you really care about that boy,


You'd take him and shake some sense into him.


Oh, mama, please. It's not his fault.


Me, I feel guilty, too.


Mothers never feel guilty. I never felt guilty about you.


When I sent you up to bed without dinner,


I sat down and had me a good meal.


It's different with me and joey, mama. Okay?


No, it's not.


Don't you love that boy?


Talk to him.


You're right, mama.


And another thing.


You know, your meat loaf is better than mine.


Oh, I know that, nell.


But your fried chicken beats mine by a mile.


Why, thank you, mama.


A little greasy, but it's good.


I'm gonna go get sam some ice cream.


I'm gonna make her feel better, okay?


Oh, wait a minute, joey.


Nell.


Joey, I'm gonna take you down



To get your ice cream, okay?


Aunt nell, you can't drive a car.


Oh, yes, I can.


And while we on our way down there, joey,


I think we better have a little talk.


Okay? Come on.


[ Paper rustling ]


"Thank you -- bonaduce motors."


Hmm. Never fails.


They always get your car full of grease,


Trying to keep it clean.


I'm gonna get sam


This really neat flavor called chocolate butter cup


That they put it in this chocolate cone.


You ought to try one. You'll love it.


That's good, joey,


But I think we'd better have a little talk, buddy.


Well, maybe you should try the banana-nut.


Spencer hardman had a banana-nut after our baseball game,


And he said it was really good.


He got two doubles and a single that day.


Boy, what a hitter.


Of course, I know you like strawberry.


Joey, will you stop it?!


Now, you are pretending like nothing happened.


I got sh*t in the foot, joey.


You're gonna have to face reality, okay?


Um, okay, aunt nell. Can we get the ice cream now?


All right, we'll go get your ice cream, okay?


[ Engine sputtering ]


[ Engine backfires ]


The g*n! The g*n!


Joey, stop. Joey.


Joey, stop, baby. No, no.


I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.


I didn't mean to sh**t you, aunt nell.


Baby, wait. The car just backfired.


[ Voice breaking ] no, no.


It was all my fault. Yes, it was.


It was all my fault.


Joey, it was both our faults, okay? Stop.


No.


Joey?


Shh!


Look, you shouldn't have been playing


With the g*n, all right?


And I should not have had a loaded g*n in the house.


I didn't know the g*n was loaded.


I didn't either, joey.


[ Moans ]


Joey, listen.


[ Breathing heavily ]


You have to believe


That a g*n is loaded anytime you pick it up, all right?


I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your foot, aunt nell.


Oh, no. It's okay. It's all right.


It's all right. It's all right.


You know what, joey?


What?


I think we both deserve...


The biggest --


I mean, I'm talking big, joey.


The biggest two ice cream cones


You ever saw.


Deal?


Okay.


All right? Okay?


Okay.


And then, when we get through, we have to talk, okay?


About what?


How to get rid of my mama.


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break
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