05x21 - Getting to Know You

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Samantha, you haven't found that thing yet?


Look, I'm expecting somebody for dinner,


And I want you out of here.


Nell, I cannot go out with just one earring.


Why not?


Because my boyfriend only wears one.


Well, together you'll make one well-dressed woman.


Where you going?


Katie and I are double-dating.


We're going to championship wrestling.


Hi. Hi, katie.


I came over early so we could have a chance to talk.


That's good, honey. Call me tomorrow.


We can talk on the phone. Come on, darling.


I don't want you to be late for your wrestling match.


And don't sit too close to the ring.


I hear that andre the giant sweats a lot.


Goodbye.


Jonathan, julie, come on down!


You're gonna be late for your movie.


Nell, we're not going to the movies.


Hypochondriac says he's feeling feverish.


Well, then you'd better take him to the hospital


'Cause you can get a double room there.


Nell, I get the feeling you're trying to get rid of us.


Julie, do you have any idea who's coming to dinner tonight?


Just harvey bristol.


Just harvey bristol?


Julie, you don't call


The most eligible podiatrist in glenlawn


"Just harvey bristol."


Nell, is there something serious between you and harvey?


No, no, no, no. Don't be silly.


I've only gone out with him a couple of times.


But keep june open.


I think harvey will have fun with you and joey tonight.


Yeah.


There's just one teensy-weensy problem.


What's that?


Harvey doesn't like kids.


What did he say when you told him about joey?


Nothing.


I haven't told him yet.


Please?


I never learned how to read a thermometer right.


I think I have a fever.


.. You'll live to be .


Come on, don't be late for your movie.


Well, maybe her doctor friend will be here when we get back.


Jonathan, he's a foot doctor.


My feet are hot, too.


Joey, I want you to go upstairs


And put on your dark blue coat and your yellow bow tie.


Why? It's wednesday.


Well, honey, the reason


I want you to put on your coat and tie


Is because I want you to look like a little gentleman


When you meet harvey.


Who's he?


Well, honey, he's a guy I've been dating.


He's a doctor -- podiatrist.


Oh, like dr. Scholl.


Well, he's not that rich.


Look, joey, I want you to make a good impression


Because, well, I've been seeing a lot of harvey lately,


And, well, lately it's been getting kind of serious.


But I have a problem.


See, he doesn't know that I have a little boy.


He doesn't know about you yet.


Well, if he doesn't know about me,


I'll just stay in my room,


And then I won't have to wear my coat and tie.


Joey, get your butt upstairs and put your coat and tie on.


Oh, aunt nell! Aunt nell!


Come on.


A coat and tie on wednesday.


Aunt nell, is this guy really that big a deal?


Well, honey...


Let me put it this way.


Take gertrude, okay? She's a happy fish.


But gertrude would be much happier if she had a gus.


And I'm just like gertrude.


I'm just swimming through life looking for my gus.


And I think I got a nibble.


Okay, aunt nell, but if I got to wear a coat and tie,



You better be making something pretty good for dinner.


Beef stroganoff.


I hate italian food.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Coming!


Hi, simpson.


Hiya, nell.


Nell, this is my cousin, helen hooper.


Helen, my friend nell harper.


Harper, hooper. Hooper, harper.


Hello, helen. Hiya, nell.


Helen's husband's being transferred to glenlawn,


So I'm taking her to look at a house for rent.


Nell, you know how landlords can be about kids.


So, I was hoping you could watch helen's children,


Just while we go look.


I'm sorry, I can't.


Look, I'm expecting someone over for dinner,


And, frankly, he's not too crazy about kids.


Well, the place ain't far from here, nell.


It wouldn't take more than maybe half an hour there and back.


I'll take her in the squad car. I'll turn on the siren.


I love to do that.


Okay, simpson, but don't take too long, okay?


Oh, bless you!


See, helen, I told you.


Nell is a saint among the living.


Come on, kids.


They won't be any trouble. They could probably use a nap.


Oh, aren't you cute?


Oh, so are you.


Ah, and you're the cutest little thing.


Helen, wouldn't it be cheaper


If you and your husband just collected stamps?


We adopted them all


From the "room for some more" program.


[ Laughs uneasily ]


Oh, well, I know a room that would be perfect --


Dodger stadium.


They're great kids, nell.


You won't even know they're here.


Li ping over there is from vietnam.


And...let's see. Kioku is from --


Kioki.


Kioki is from nairobi.


And pierre is from guadeloupe.


And michael here is from ireland.


♪ When irish eyes are smiling ♪


Knock it off, michael.


See, some of the kids are still learning


To talk english, nell,


But they're good kids.


We'll see yous in about a half an hour, huh?


Bye-bye, little cousins.


Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!


And don't you start any fires.


Hey, neat!


Where did all these kids come from?


Joey, these are our guests for the next half-hour.


I want you to go over and introduce yourself and be nice.


Hi.


Hi. [ Doorbell rings ]


Stop that!


Oh, no, simpson. No, no. No more children.


I'm a saint, not a god.


Nell, landlords don't like pets, either.


What?! [ Barking ]


Don't cry, honey. It's okay. It's okay.


Oh, aunt nell, what happened?


Oh, japan hit china, then liberia jumped in to stop it --


Just knocked poor peru right into the piano bench.


Come on, honey. Go out there and play.


[ Telephone ringing ]


Joey, get out there and quiet down that ugly crowd.


Hello?


I'm sorry, nell.


We was on our way back when I got an emergency call.


Some guy's on a ledge, threatening to jump.


I got to go now, nell. Goodbye.


[ Indistinct shouting ]


All right, quiet! Quiet! Quiet, quiet.


Look, I don't blame you for being bored,


But you have to be quiet while I go make dinner, okay?


I have a better idea.


Why don't I teach you a song,


And you can sing while I go make my beef stroganoff, okay?


What do you want to sing?


♪ When irish eyes are smiling ♪


Knock it off, michael.


Everybody say...


♪ "Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi"


All [ off-key ] ♪ mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi


Aunt nell, this is an awesome party.


I'm really having fun.


I don't care. Who ate the beef stroganoff?


Not one of those kids is from russia.


[ Crashing ]


Can't they play with anything without breaking it?


They got tired of singing. [ Doorbell rings ]


Joey, let their mother in.



Come on, you got to get ready to go home.


You're going home. There you go.


Here. There, darling.


You're welcome.


Aunt nell. Yes?


It's a guy in a three-piece suit with a bunch of roses.


Oh, no, it can't be harvey. It's only .


Excuse me. Excuse me.


Oh! It is harvey, and it's only .


Shh! Shh!


I have a wonderful idea.


We're all going to go upstairs,


And we're going to play that international game


Called "shut up."


And the one who's the quietest


Will get $ a week for the rest of his life.


[ All murmuring ]


Joey, get them upstairs, get them in your room,


And you keep them quiet.


I hear one word, you're a dead man.


Go!


[ Doorbell rings ] coming!


[ Sighs ]


Harvey!


Oh, what beautiful flowers.


Just let me put them in water -- take me about a half-hour.


Harvey, what are you doing standing out there?


Come on in.


Oh, baby, I know you said ,


But I just had to get out of that office.


This has been the worst day of my life.


Oh, it's been a wonderful day for me.


Boy, what a comfortable-looking house.


I do like the look of this couch.


Oh.


Oh, this is heaven.


You know, I should have never left the house today.


On my way to work, my transmission went.


Fastest I could go was miles an hour.


Then I find out my ' tax returns are being audited.


Then to top all that off,


I get this paper cut opening an envelope


That said I am being sued for malpractice.


But you're a foot doctor.


How can you be guilty of malpractice?


That's my defense.


Anyway, come here, baby.


Michael ♪ when irish eyes are smiling ♪


What's that?


An irish ballad.


Excuse me.


We have a little problem here. [ Chuckles ]


Yeah, I'll take care of that right now.


Harvey bristol, I'd like you to meet joey donovan.


Joey, this is harvey. Harvey, this is joey.


Well, now that you two have met --


You see, harvey [chuckles] I wanted you to meet joey,


And I wanted joey to meet you.


You see, joey is, um, uh...


Joey is my little boy.


No, i-i'm raising him.


Oh.


Uh, nell... [Clears throat]


Why didn't you tell me about...him?


Well, I was waiting


For the right moment to introduce you.


Yeah, aunt nell wants us to like each other


'Cause she thinks you might be her gus.


[ Laughs ]


[ Crashing ]


Oh, must be that darn cat chasing his tail again.


Uh, joey, why don't you sit down and chat?


Joey is very good at that.


Won't you sit down, honey? Sit down.


Oh, you two look so nice together,


Just like a kodak commercial.


And I'm just so happy that you like each other.


I'll be right back. I have to take care of this.


Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!


[ Dog barks ]


Want to play yahtzee?


No.


Me, neither.


Go to bed! Go to bed! Go to bed! Give it up!


Go to bed! Go to bed! Go to bed! Go to bed!


Just go to bed! Lay down! Lay down!


Lay down right now. Shh! Lay down. Lay down.


I said, "lay down." Lay down.


You're irish. Don't you understand english?


Lay down.


Shh! Shh!


Now, I want everybody to take a nap.


Do you understand the word "nap"?


Very cute.


Very cute.


Why don't we sing that song you taught us?


What have we got to sing about?


The last thing we want to do is to keep up any noise.


I want you to be as quiet as a mouse.


Does everyone understand the word "mouse"?



[ Giggles ] come here. Quick.


Come here. Get in this chair. Quick, quick, quick!


Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep.


Go to sleep. Come on. Quick.


See how easy that was?


And you didn't even have to leave the room, okay?


Now, listen, you little ones, you lay back and take a nap.


You big ones, watch them sleep.


When they get up, you take a nap.


When you get up, you watch them sleep.


Aunt nell says you're a foot doctor.


Yes, yes, I am.


Must be a great job.


I mean, most people walk a lot.


Simpson, I can't wait that long!


Then tell helen to take the bus over here.


Where are you?


Okay. Here's what she does, okay?


You take the number-two bus to maple.


Then you change at broadway.


Now, you ask for a blue transfer, okay?


Then you take the number-six bus.


It stops one block from our house.


Yes, simpson, I know it's a lot to remember.


But if you can save a human life,


You can find the number-two bus to maple.


You aren't having any fun, are you?


Oh, look, I'm sorry, joey.


See, joey, all this has been quite a surprise for me.


You see, I didn't know that nell had a --


Child.


Who is that?


Taiwan.


Where did all these kids come from?


The bedroom.


That's kenya. That's greece.


That's india. That's peru.


And I'm alabama.


Nell, where did all these --


Oh, honey, you are not gonna believe what I have to tell you.


Oh, right now, I would believe anything.


Oh, yeah? Then there's another of them in the attic.


[ Laughs ]


I'm just kidding. We don't even have an attic.


We joke. We kid. We have fun.


We laugh in this house. Don't we, joey?


Wait till he finds out there's no beef stroganoff.


Well, actually, I'm babysitting for a friend.


I didn't even know they were gonna be here.


But they won't be any trouble, will you?


I mean, they'll be as quiet as a little mouse.


Very cute. Very cute.


Uh, listen, why don't we just make this into a party?


I'll call for some pizza. We can play some games.


[ All cheering ]


I am not gonna be stuck here all night with a million kids.


Look, you go ahead, you have your party,


And I'll see you later.


Real nice meeting you, joey.


Wait, harvey. Harvey. Harvey, wait.


This is not exactly the evening I had in mind.


Then why didn't you tell me about joey?


Oh, harvey, believe me, if this was an ordinary night


And all those kids weren't here, you would love joey.


Look, nell, I'm sorry.


I'm sure joey is probably a very nice kid,


But I'm not looking for a ready-made family.


I just don't think I need kids in my life right now.


I'll see you again someday.


You've got to stop wearing those pointed-toe shoes, too.


You're ruining your metatarsals.


Open this door!


[ Laughter ]


Open this door!


[ Laughter ]


Joey, get your butt over here and open this door!


Harvey's right. Kids are a pain.


[ Dog barking ]


Shut up!


[ Barking stops ]


It's all my fault, isn't it?


Yes.


I've been thinking...


Maybe harvey wouldn't have gotten so mad


If I weren't around.


Oh, joey, please.


No, I mean it.


Aunt nell, you can send me to boarding school.


I saw the movie "annie."


Joey, just how long do you think I would last around here


Without you?


You'll meet a guy, aunt nell.


Look, you're pretty. You're a lot of fun.


You're not a bad cook.


What?


You're a great cook.


Is this a proposal?


[ Child crying ]


Oh, what is it now?


[ Indistinct shouting ]



Freeze!


All right, no more mr. Nice guy.


I don't want you to move an inch


Until your mama comes back here.


I have to go to the bathroom.


Do whatever you have to do, but don't you move!


How could anybody in their right mind adopt kids?


[ Piano plays ]


♪ What the world needs now is love, sweet love ♪


♪ It's the only thing that there's just too little of ♪


♪ What the world needs now is love, sweet love ♪


♪ No, not just for some but for everyone ♪


♪ Lord, we don't need another mountain ♪


♪ There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb ♪


♪ There are


♪ Oceans and rivers enough to crawl ♪


♪ Enough to last till the end of time ♪


♪ What the world needs now is love, sweet love ♪


♪ It's the only thing that there's just too little of ♪


♪ What the world needs now is love, sweet love ♪


♪ No, not just for some but for everyone ♪


♪ No, not just for some, oh, but just for everyone ♪


[ Telephone ringing ]


Hello?


Yes, simpson.


[ Chuckles ]


Take as long as you have to, okay?


Okay.


I think we have time for maybe two more songs.


Hit it.


♪ When


♪ Irish eyes are smiling


♪ Sure, 'tis like the morn in spring ♪


♪ In the lilt of irish laughter ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break