05x13 - Snippets

[bunniefuu]

give me a break now I know what it takes

Oh

Logan would be not a moment to think

nowhere

jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the

way oh no it's open sleigh

boy I love the holiday season last night

I helped officer green black trim his

Hanukkah bush we decorated with all

these cute little matzo balls listen if

anybody wants any mistletoe I'm gonna

put it right over here huh hey Simpson

ah so Christmas cookies for Santa's

little helpers now how do you expect us

to trim this tree there isn't enough

tensile a bunch of the ornaments are

broken and that tree is much too full

you know Katie for a little helper you

got a big mouth now I know I'm sick but

may I lie down on the couch will watch

you trim the tree no get back upstairs

that's the Christmas spirit now calm

down Joey

aha did you see him run a sick little

boy couldn't run you know Joey you're

faking it because you don't want to go

shopping with me I am NOT

you are to faking it nobody that sick

could moaning loud hey everybody look

what Jonathan sent me for Christmas

Julie shouldn't have open that yet

Christmas isn't for three days I know

but it's our first Christmas as husband

and wife and I was anxious what is it

honey

you'd never guess well call me crazy but

that was on the tip of my tongue you're

on an archeological dig in the Yucatan I

imagine shopping is limited speaking of

shopping I'm sick of faking bored get

upstairs and get dressed

what makes you so sure he's faking

because he's a con artist

no that's a terrible thing to call him

listen daddy oh please oh you weren't

here when we met this little boy you

talk about your slick little

seven-year-olds he even had the chief

fooled

yes well hello down there hi what can I

do for you I'm collecting for Jerry's

kids Oh

Jill's come and I think I'm in love

isn't your doing anything you can give a

dime order anything oh I'll get my first

out the kitchen hey did anyone ever tell

you that you have Carol Channing's

hairdo

kitty sorry guy

sorry when you see this angel teeth take

a look at them yeah I see him kid

aren't you a little young to be up

collecting money by yourself couldn't

you leave me at least one licorice drop

do you live uh other side of town honey

you walked all the way over here from

the other side of town by yourself yes

man

you see what hey come on sit down

what is it here no it's nothing

you can tear you in now little fear oh

brother

mmm-hmm he's really one of Jerry's kids

oh and it's like I'm collecting for him

yeah and I was only gonna give you a

dollar here baby make it uh make it five

yeah he's really sick okay

Thanks here's a 10 just so you know the

police chief isn't cheap okay go my kid

brothers waiting for me and I want to be

there if he suddenly you know oh my god

that poor kid you know chief this just

makes you realize how lucky we are you

know it everybody I'm sorry if I was a

little rough on you when I came home hey

dad I love you came I'm gonna get rid of

whoever that is at the door so we can go

back to loving each other

I caught the Bunco artist chief he's

been using some phony story about

Jerry's kids your dirty crook his run I

don't believe that honest the kids a

real pro you know how many jerks in this

neighborhood have given him a lot of

money

but that was two years ago now Joey's a

different boy now listen daddy hello yes

we'll accept the charges

hiya Jonathan Merry Christmas did Julie

get the turquoise earrings I sent her

earrings uh maybe you should talk to

Julie Julie it's Jonathan bye jonathan

Merry Christmas here's Julie thanks hi

Jonathan we miss you I miss you and our

little soon to be hey I see lights you

on the Fiesta in there I'm on the

telephone Oh

how do you like your gift it's beautiful

I wanted to get you something that Noah

the woman in Glen Lawn had you were

overwhelmingly successful when I saw

your gift it just screamed your name

I screamed a little too and Julie

neither one was damaged in the mail were

they Jonathan there was only one one oh

no they're useless if you don't have two

of them I'd love another I know I packed

both earrings together earrings

Jonathan I've got the skull of a very

old man oh no I must have gotten the

packages mixed up Julie right now the

curator of the Museum of Natural History

is wearing turquoise earrings

well we'll get it straightened out I

love you and I love you and Julie this

is the last Christmas the three of us

will ever spend apart Merry Christmas

mr. Maxwell Feliz Navidad Senora Maxwell

Joey you have exactly two minutes to get

your butt upstairs and get dressed on

they'll be nice to the boy huh where's

your Christmas spirit

listen to Simpson well it is the holiday

season and holidays do bring out the

best in me not all holidays let's not

forget last Valentines

let me jog your memory you were in one

of your advice to the lovelorn moods and

we all head updates.thanks that's a good

turn II never had a deal wishes I know

it's still Valentine's Day hey you know

what I did I played Cupid uh-huh I made

six couples very happy tonight

everything now everything makes it five

I talked to lady lover Samantha what

hasn't it true you said tell Danny I'm

too young to neck well he respects you

doesn't he yeah he said he respects me

more than new specs any girl he's ever

met in his life and he never wants to

see me again

Oh Samantha baby June why you coming in

the back door because without my glasses

I couldn't find the front door

what's wrong Julie who are you Julie you

crying oh you and your advice network

I'll be right back Julie honey bus the

matter what Leonard hates me I couldn't

see without my glasses and I kept

kissing his brother

what is really good

hey you and your fights now honey hey

Katie Katie I spent the entire evening

trying to get Rick to mold me and you

know what he likes his girls already

molded double date now safe he'll take

the pressure off downstairs so I double

date my girl dances all night with

sergeant Gillespie here babies hands me

my belt yeah oh please I could be the

Avon lady yeah I make fair smooth well I

made the first move and you know what he

called me a he called me a worse

he called me a cab

I can guess what you're here ready come

on in the kitchen we're forming a lynch

mob a grandpa grandpa now you got a lot

to learn about black people you mean she

didn't like to change the cross on it

she's Jewish

so I'm not so good at Valentine's but

I'm great at Christmas I'm Joey oh yeah

leave the boy alone he's got a sick

stomach listen the grandpa Joey but I

just don't want you to ruin Christmas

for all of us how would I do that well

if you don't get off the couch I'm gonna

feel your Christmas stocking with

pepto-bismol

No there is only one person who is going

to ruin Christmas for all of us and

that's you oh yeah but Adi I have more

Christmas spirit in my little finger

than you got in that whole flat body of

yours oh really

yeah what would you like for me to tell

everyone about last Christmas at my

apartment now had the nerve to invite my

new neighbor over to Christmas dinner oh

so sorry I invited you here you're sorry

huh do you know why I'm here

they call it pity I am the only friend

you have ever had

listen Nell I have lost friends because

they knew I knew you

I have been your best friend since we

were nine years old and I didn't like

you then and I don't like you now

kleptomaniac you stole my Crayolas

well wait till you see what I'm stealing

this Christmas you know what our labels

and I don't need you I don't need your

friendship only just took my Christmas

get Oh

believe you actually threw a Christmas

tree out the window oh yeah well peace

on earth goodwill to nail the lights is

all connected I'm gonna chain on the

truth oh yeah that's the Christmas thing

you know the last thing I want to do is

a fight with my family but since when

look you're not a member of this family

I can fight what units on her want to

well have you forgotten how you fought

with Loretta when we went back to

Alabama for her wedding are you trying

to say that I don't get along with my

sister Loretta oh don't you remember all

the fun times we had you know let me

live in the past yeah I guess oh you

mean she got out this these old tanks of

mist or listened to she felt service to

you she's all over the tube you are not

gonna believe what I found in the Attic

Merrigan she's always be strange be

there

oh is that our old tape recorder and the

old tape is still on it listen take me

back to the 60

you know remember we're gonna be the

best girl trio ever we were here to sing

round

do you remember how we used for her stew

this is July we were gonna be bigger

than the Shirelles crystals Ronnie oh I

always dream we'd be the supreme I had

that that was my dream because I was

gonna be Diana Ross

Oh

Oh

Oh

maybe the one girl lobby

Oh

yeah

Oh

Oh

body always picking up

Oh

thanks for reminding you that it was a

beautiful wedding

yeah no why should tell him hey he's

just doing read over the head with her

wedding bouquet I thought you had a

stomachache boy

no no browbeating Joey is not gonna get

him off the couch oh well I guess you

think you know more about raising

children than me yes a lot more

yes you think you know more about

everything than I do don't you

well why don't you hang your Phi Beta

Kappa key and yourself on the tree yeah

I am not trying to get into an

intellectual discussion oh no of course

not not with damo nail are you

overreacting oh no honey you've been

putting me down since the moment you

walked in that door two years ago that's

not true come on at our liberate like it

was yesterday you wait till Mel finds

out that her old friend from Alabama is

a Phi Beta Kappa that's really special

thank you but it's not that special I'm

only one of thousands of today's black

women who are out there making it it

wasn't easy but thank God we finally put

to rest of those stereotypical image of

the black woman is nothing but an Aunt

Jemima

adhi why are you so hostile towards me

I'll tell you why I haven't seen you in

over 15 years you walk in here the first

thing you tell me I have an uneducated

housekeeper I think it go so flustered I

am a failure

as a modern black woman I was a scrappy

black woman's you won't get a house

no you shouldn't think of yourself as a

failure Oh what and I wanted to be like

you look at all those books I've read so

many books I can't even tell them I've

been w*r and peace well not all of them

but I help

Hemingway

I have always don't inferior to you I

still feel inferior to you my whole I

love it

no you should you still have the book of

poetry that I sent you I happen to like

the book in spite of your inscription

well what was wrong with the inscription

I'm surprised I got through the mail

what are you talking about

look I don't mind you calling me black

because she'll black too but you have no

right to call me illegitimate let me see

that

that's block buster

I'll phone Phi Beta Kappa girl you got

lousy handwriting no even when we're

fighting we have more fun than anybody

you know all this reminiscing is making

me hungry me too I'll make us a snack

good idea I'll make some coffee I'll

make some more popcorn I ate most of it

Joey I'm sorry I doubted you don't want

to come over here please ain't no hmm I

don't have a stomachache but I knew you

were faking it

yeah but there's a good reason for it

okay

that's a history well you see yesterday

I put the money I saved up to buy a

Christmas gift on the bag on my bike but

there was a hole in the bag

and when I got downtown all the money

had fallen out along the way

oh you see I figured if you thought I

was sick you wouldn't expect me to go

out and buy your present

Oh Joey you don't have to give me a gift

the fact that you wanted to is all the

Christmas that I ever need yeah but I

want so much to give you one don't worry

about it honey

you can give me a bigger gift at my

birthday now and now the mistletoe Oh

Merry Christmas I sold

keeping your brain