06x01 - Sam Goes to College

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Okay, jonathan, just watch your step, okay? I've got everything under control.


Good.


Are you all right?


He won't let go. He's crazy about me.


Boy, I'm sure gonna miss you and julie.


Ah, now, joey, san jose is not that far away.


It is when you've only got a three-speed bike.


I'm gonna miss you, too, kiddo.


But it's time julie and I moved into our own place.


[ Telephone rings ]


I'll get it. I'll get it.


Hello?


Nell? Well, I don't know.


She was here just a minute ago.


I think she's in the john.


Ne--


It's your travel agent.


Grandpapa, how many times must I tell you?


You never answer the phone


And say that somebody's in the bathroom.


Nell, when you get to be my age,


You can't lose anything by telling the truth.


Hello? Gloria?


Oh, honey, thanks for returning my call.


Listen, I would like to have


Your cheapest airfares to new york city.


Well, you know my daughter samantha's


Going away to college.


[ Chuckles ] thank you.


Oh, littlefield college in warren, new jersey. Yeah.


Well, anyway, I thought that maybe


My little boy, joey, and I could fly back east with her,


Drop her off at the dormitory,


And maybe go into new york and visit my friend addy.


Oh, yeah. She lives there now.


Honey, she got a big-time job at some university.


Uh-huh.


How old is joey? Why?


Bravo airlines lets children under fly for free.


He's /.


Aunt nell!


Okay, okay.


[ Chuckles ] gloria, I forgot. Joey's .


Okay, listen. I'll tell you what.


Just get me your cheapest seats, okay?


Bye-bye. [ Baby crying ]


Hey, that's the baby crying?


Yeah. Don't worry about it, nell.


Julie's up there with her.


Then why doesn't julie pick her up?


Julie's probably busy packing.


Oh.


Nell, our doctor said not to pick up the baby


Every time she cries.


Jonathan, it's wednesday.


Your doctor's on the golf course.


He'll never know I picked the baby up.


I'm coming, little nell!


[ Doorbell rings ]


Hey, joey, will you get some more boxes from out back?


You bet, jonathan.


♪ Do you know the way to san jose? ♪


Hiya, jonathan.


I'm all set to help youse move.


Oh, julie and I really appreciate this, simpson.


Were you able to borrow a big truck?


Better.


It's a slow day at the station,


So I borrowed the paddy wagon.


Oh, gee.


Maybe we should have borrowed a truck.


You think there'll be enough room?


Oh, yeah.


The paddy wagon's very roomy.


I'll start loading some of this stuff, huh?


Oh, uh, be careful.


Don't step on the guy


That's lying on the floor of the paddy wagon.


He's sleeping one off.


Aw, you little cutie.


Little nell.


Oh, look at those sparkling little eyes.


That cute little nose.


Those chubby little cheeks.


Aw, and that darling little smile.



You know if you were black, you'd be a dead ringer for me?


I mean it.


Jonathan, why don't you take the baby's crib down to my room,


And I'll watch the baby


While her mother finishes packing?


I'll give you a hand, huh?


Aw, she's a doll.


You know, if her nose turned up just a little bit more,


She'd be a dead ringer for me.


So far she looks like everyone but me.


Oh, jonathan, that's just nature's way


Of being kind to little girls.


Nell? Yeah?


Do you think you could return these books


To the library for me?


Why can't you return them?


Well, you know how it is when you're a mother.


The baby takes up so much of your time.


She takes up a lot of my time, too.


I do the babysitting


While you go out to lunch with your friends.


And don't think I don't appreciate it, nell.


So can you return the books?


Julie, I'm surprised you didn't ask me


To have this baby for you.


Oh, nell, I cannot wear this skirt in college.


It isn't preppy enough,


And I don't want to look californian.


Buffy carpenter says easterners hate californians.


Nancy and ronnie are californians,


And nobody hates them.


Look, tell your friends that nancy wears that skirt


Around the ranch all the time, okay?


Surprise!


Katie! What are you doing home?


I'm not letting my little sister go off to college


Without saying goodbye.


Thanks.


Hey, what do you think about this skirt?


Oh, it's not for college, sam.


It looks like something


Nancy reagan would wear around the ranch.


Katie!


Hi, mama.


Samshe came all the way from san francisco


Just to say goodbye to me.


What's in that bag?


Uh, some dirty clothes.


As long as I was coming down,


I thought I'd bring you my laundry.


Katie!


[ Laughing ] what are you doing here?


I love your hair that way.


Oh, julie, when you're a career woman,


It's better to have brown hair.


If you're blonde, people think you're easy,


And they take advantage of you.


Of course, when I go out on dates, I wear a blond wig.


Nell? My books?


I am gonna be so happy to get rid of you three girls.


Who are kidding, nell?


I'm not kidding.


I mean, it's gonna be so embarrassing


For you to walk around with dirty clothes,


Overdue books, and bad taste in skirts.


Alldirty clothes, dirty clothes, overdue books!


Don't be hugging and kissing on me,


'Cause I'm not joking!


I don't know how I ever got mixed up


With you girls in the first place!


I saw that!


Yeah, well, I know how.


That was such a long time ago.


I remember mom brought you home to meet us


The night that daddy was working late at the station.


And what a night that was.


I mean, you were three of the ugliest little girls


I ever saw in my life.


Honestly, I walked in the door, and the babysitter was...


Allcome out, come out, wherever you are!


Come out, come out, wherever you are!


Okay, g*ng! Front and center!


Mommy!


Hi. Mm-mmm.


Kids, I want you to meet my friend nell.


Nell, this is katie, my -year-old.


And this julie, my -year-old.


I'm gonna be .


Now, you told me they were beautiful,


But she didn't tell me you were smart, too.


Then I'm gonna be years old, then , , .


Julie...


Someday I'll be as old as you.


Leslie, this is nell.


Where's the baby?


Samantha's hiding.


We're playing hide-and-seek.


I wonder where samantha could be.


[ Giggles ]


I don't know where samantha could be.



Here I am.


There she is. [ Grunts ]


Samantha, I want you to meet my friend nell.


Hi, precious.


Oh, aren't you a little darling?


I found a dead moth.


Oh, a dead moth.


Thank you, honey. Mommy and I haven't had dinner yet.


Would you like white meat or dark meat, dear?


I'll take a wing.


You can sleep in my room tonight.


This is your -- oh, margaret, no, I can't take your room.


Oh, no, there's a movie I want to see on the late show,


And then afterwards,


I'll just crank into the guest bedroom downstairs.


Margaret, please. I can't let you do this.


Really, it's more convenient for me.


When carl works all night, I do this all the time.


Margaret!


Margaret!


Margaret! Margaret!


Margaret!


Margaret! Margaret!


Oh.


I see you two have met.


Boy, what a night that was.


[ Laughter ]


Oh, I can't wait until little nell


Is old enough to hear that story.


Why don't you tell her now?


She's smarter than anybody else in this room.


Katiehi, grandpa.


Grandpakatie! What are you doing here?


[ Laughs ]


I came to say goodbye to my little sister


And to see the best mother in the world.


Oh, ran out of clean clothes again, huh?


There's a letter for you, samantha.


The rest of these are all for "occupant."


Ooh, any samples? I'm running out of bubble bath.


No problem -- meet me in my bathroom at :,


And I'll lend you some of mine.


Ah.


Well, I don't have to worry about this skirt anymore.


It's not fair! It's just not fair!


What's the matter with her?


It must have something to do with college.


Oh, no. They canceled her scholarship.


Oh, my poor baby.


[ Baby crying ]


Oh, my other poor baby.


Uh, julie, you go take care of little nell.


I'll go take care of samantha.


But, nell, I'm not gonna pick up the baby.


Julie, if you don't pick that baby up,


When I come back down these stairs,


I'm gonna pick you up


And throw you all the way to san jose!


Little nell, she's coming!


Samantha, I'm coming!


Poor samantha. She just won't stop crying. I'm gonna get addy on the phone.


She got her her scholarship. Maybe she can get it back.


I hope she can do something.


[ Sighs ]


"All circuits are busy.


Please hang up and try your call again later."


You know, I hate that lady.


Nell, you can't really hate her.


She's just a faceless voice who made a recording.


Do you really believe that?


I happen to know for a fact that she is sitting there,


And as soon as I hang up,


She falls off her chair, laughing.


Well, what did addy say?


Oh, honey, I couldn't get through to new york city.


Some operator in kansas city wouldn't give me a line.


I knew it. Nothing ever goes right for me.


I'm never gonna get into that college,


And even if I did, I've got all the wrong clothes!


I better go see if I can help.


Thanks, katie.


You know, you're a wonderful person,


And you're a wonderful sister.


Well, I got to be me.


Poor samantha.


She always thinks that everything


Is gonna turn out for the worst.


I know. She's been that way ever since she was a kid.


Do you remember when she was a little girl


And she kissed that boy


And she thought that would make her pregnant?


Yes, I remember that!


I went into the room. She was sitting in bed...


You can tell me. Come on.


What's wrong?


[ Sniffles ]


I'm pregnant.


Uh...


How can you be pregnant?


You mean you don't know either?



Oh, no, no, no, honey, no. I know.


I mean, but, uh...


Tell me what happened.


Well, this afternoon...


Scotty wanted to do it.


So we did.


[ Sobs ]


Did what?


We...did sex.


All right, come here. Come here.


Okay. What happened?


[ Sniffles ]


It was so yucky.


All teeth and lips.


It was like eating liver for lunch.


Baby, exactly what did you and scotty do?


We kissed.


Yeah?


On the lips.


Uh-huh?


And that's the whole filthy story.


I guess I'm just another bimbo.


[ Laughing ] wait.


Let me get this straight.


All you and scotty did was kiss?


Right.


And now I'm gonna have a baby.


Oh, I think I just felt it kick!


I got to do something for sam. I'm gonna try addy again.


Poor little samantha.


It's going through.


It's ringing.


That mean old operator must be taking a coffee break.


Addy?


Nell! How are you?


Oh, honey, just terrible.


Listen, they canceled samantha's scholarship.


[ Gasps ] a week before school begins?


I don't believe it.


How did this happen, addy?


I don't know.


What do you mean? You're the phd.


You're supposed to know everything about education!


Nell, I don't work at littlefield college.


I just met a guy there who's an administrator,


And he said that the scholarship was all arranged.


Oh, I think I get the picture.


You were in some bar, and you met a man.


You told him you were a phd.


He told you he was in charge


Of scholarships at littlefield college,


And after three drinks, who cares about samantha?!


Come on, nell, don't panic.


Look, I'll call the college and get back to you.


[ Sighs ]


Well?


I don't know, and addy doesn't know anything about it.


Oh, julie, I really messed up this time.


What are you talking about, nell?


I'm the one that talked addy


Into getting a scholarship for samantha,


And I'm that one that kept getting samantha's hopes up.


Nell, don't be so tough on yourself.


Samantha knows you're doing the best you can.


Look, you may think your girls don't appreciate you,


But I remember some of the things


You've done for us.


I remember all the things I've done for you.


Well, do you remember the time you tried to teach me to dance


So I could get into that high school sorority?


[ Both laugh ]


That was five years ago, and what I went through...


I think the latest dance goes like this.


Let's see. One, two, three.


Cross, turn, touch.


Come here. Try it.


One, two... One, two.


Three. Cross.


Hold it, hold it, hold it. Honey, that ain't it.


Look, you been hanging out with republicans?


Nell, I don't know what to do.


Baby, when it comes to dancing,


It is not what you do but what you do it with.


Honey, put some music on that tape deck


And move back before I hurt you.


Uh-huh.


[ Up-tempo music plays ]


Yeah!


Hold it. Wait, wait, honey.


It's five years later, and you still can't dance.


Well, we're taking a break.


The drunk in the paddy wagon woke up,


And simpson had to drive him home.


I'm telling you, this moving is tough.


You never know how much stuff you have until you move.


Jonathan, if it's that tough, why don't you stay?


Nell, the college in san jose


Is perfect for jonathan and me.


And besides, right on campus,


We've got this terrific little apartment.



Ah! "Little apartment"! But look!


You got a great big house right here in glenlawn.


Tell me, what can you get there that you can't get here?


Well...


Privacy, nell.


Aah!


I guess you can't get no privacy around old nell.


[ Chuckles ]


That's nell for you.


Miss nosy.


Snoop.


Meddler.


Ms. Buttinsky.


One of y'all better stop me real quick, okay?


Nell, you're none of those things.


Is she, jonathan?


Jonathan?


Aah! Oh, of course not.


[ Chuckles ]


Ah, who am I kidding?


Guess you don't get much privacy around here.


[ Baby crying ]


Oops!


Wait a minute!


You must have had some privacy!


Nell!


Yeah, I know I will. I can't wait.


[ Laughs ]


Oh, samantha, you're feeling better.


Yeah, I'm fine. Katie saved my life.


Oh, katie. I knew you would.


Oh, samantha's so lucky to have you as a sister.


Nell, I came up with the greatest idea.


Yeah, since I'm not gonna go to college,


I'm gonna move in with katie in san francisco,


And she's gonna get me a job.


You may have brown hair, but you're still a blonde.


Juliethat might not be such a bad idea.


Maybe it's time sam moved out on her own.


Why don't you two go somewhere where it's private?


That's an even better idea.


Come on, snookums. Can't you walk any faster?


Absolutely out of the question.


I want you to have a college education.


This is a really terrific job in marketing, nell.


Job? She's going to college so she can become a lawyer.


Nell, we never talked about my being a lawyer.


Well, it's about time we did.


Nell.


Nell, I'm not a child anymore.


Look, I was turned down for that scholarship,


And I decided that I'm gonna have a career.


You're just gonna have to live with that.


I'm gonna go pack.


I'm gonna help her!


[ Door opens ]


I'm back for another load.


Oh!


Are you okay, nell?


No!


Samantha's not going to college.


She's getting a job and moving to san francisco.


That's great. She could be with katie.


That's not the point!


Samantha's gonna be in san francisco,


Katie is in san francisco,


And julie is moving so she can have some privacy.


I'm losing my girls!


[ Sighs ]


You still got me, nell.


[ Screams ]


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break