1x09 - Random Shoes

[bunniefuu]

Opening sh*ts and series recap

JACK : (VO) Torchwood. Outside the government, beyond the police. Tracking down alien life on earth and arming the human race against the future. The 21st century is when everything changes and you gotta be ready.

Open on blurred lighting, a darkened background.

EUGENE : (VO) The speed of light is three hundred and ninety nine million, seven hundred and ninety two thousand, four hundred and eight metres per second, pain travels through the body at three hundred and fifty feet per second. Even a sneeze can reach a hundred miles per hour. As for life, well, that just bloody whizzes by.

Overview of a young man lying on his back in the middle of a road. He is average - average height, build and looks - Eugene.

EUGENE : (VO) So then, this is me. Eugene Jones.

Eugene looks to either side of him and sits up. Confused. He stands and looks about, walks slowly down the road, past the Torchwood SUV and the police cordon. An officer holds up the rope while he passes. He sees the Torchwood team and calls out, he knows who they are.

EUGENE : Hey. Gwen ! Jack ! Tosh ! The guys at the rope just let me through so…

Jack and Gwen stand with Toshiko next to a police patrol car and an ambulance.

GWEN : I’d say at least 50 miles per hour.

Gwen walks away from Jack to look at a body. They talk, ignoring Eugene.

JACK : Travel on the bonnet, bounced, maybe rolls, smashes his face on the road.

Eugene moves closer to Gwen and looks at the body lying on the verge at the side of the road.

EUGENE : Aye ? Er, excuse me, that looks a lot like me…

The body of Eugene lies face down on the floor, blood covering the side of his head - dead.

TOSHIKO : Couldn’t even cross the road without messing it up.

Jack crouches down next to Gwen to look at the body.

GWEN : No bag, nothing. I mean what was he doing here ? Perhaps he was hit deliberately, maybe he really did have something important.

TOSHIKO : Like what ?

GWEN : I dunno. He was always trying to talk to us, show us stuff. Perhaps we shouldn’t have been so…

TOSHIKO : Gwen, I think it’s just an ordinary RTA.

EUGENE : Guys !

JACK : It was a red car, there’s red paint under his fingernails.

EUGENE : Am I dead ?

Eugene looks at the body - himself - as understanding begins to dawn. He looks round to see that he has put his arm through Toshiko’s back, he’s a ghost. He begins to step backwards in shock. He stands in the middle of the milling police officers, ambulance crew and SOCO calling out in general.

EUGENE : Am I dead ? Am I dead ?

OPENING CREDITS

EXT. ACCIDENT SITE - DAY

A mobile phone lies in the grass near to the body of Eugene. It rings and Toshiko picks it up and answers.

TOSHIKO : Yes ?

BROMWEN : (Over phone) Hello love, I’ve just been to the shops, I forgot tea bags.

Toshiko holds out the phone to Gwen who takes it.

BROMWEN : (Over phone) ‘ello ? Eugene…

GWEN : Hello, Mrs Jones, something’s happened. We need to talk to you.

Eugene still stands nearby, trying to work out what is happening.

EUGENE : (VO) What happened ? How did I end up here ? I mean, I’m dead ? But I’m not dead, sh*t !

Gwen leaves the accident scene, going under the police cordon, followed by Eugene.

EUGENE : (VO) So what, am I a ghost ? Or a zombie ?

Gwen walks to the SUV and opens the back door, Eugene still following her. Toshiko behind them gets into the passenger seat.

EUGENE : (VO) Oh, God ! Right, car. Stick with the team.

Eugene ducks under Gwen’s arm and through the open door into the back seat of the SUV. Gwen pauses to look at Jack who indicates the driver’s door.

GWEN : What ? You’re driving.

EUGENE : (VO) This is Torchwood. It’s gonna be okay.

Eugene looks in the rear-view mirror - he is not reflected.

EUGENE : (VO)What ? Course, I’m invisible. Why am I invisible ?

Gwen looks at Eugene’s mobile.

JACK : Anything on Eugene’s phone from today ?

GWEN : Just some pictures of random shoes. There are various pictures of people’s feet. She flicks through the photos then puts the phone down.

EUGENE : (VO) Mind you, feels kind of familiar. You know what, whatever’s happened, al of a sudden, I’m somewhere I always wanted to be.

Eugene looks at Gwen. Overview : the SUV drives away.

EUGENE : (VO) Lets back up a bit. I mean every story’s got a beginning. I think mine began here…

INT. HALL - 1992

An hall is full of children in school uniform and adults (their parents) clapping. A young Eugene sits behind a desk - a team gameshow panel.

EUGENE : (VO) The final of the inter-school maths competition, 1992. I used to be a mathshead - binary code, interpology, quadratics, I loved stuff like that and… I was supposed to be really good at it.

Widen to see the stage, Eugene’s team of three and the host with score cards facing the audience - 34, 42. Eugene holds his dead in his hands, defeated.

HOST : …and Rushmore a mountainous 42. Congratulate the winning team…

EUGENE : (VO) Dad took the day off work to come and see me, but when the moment mattered, I blanked.

Eugene’s dad sits in the audience, looking disappointed and annoyed.

EUGENE : (VO) I let the side down. I made a mess of it.

CUT TO :

School science classroom. A few students leave the room. Eugene sits alone, dejected. The others look at him as they leave.

GIRL : See ya.

EUGENE : Everyone blamed me for loosing the final. But, it must have been what happened afterwards that started this whole thing off.

A teacher enters the room - 50’s, balding, portly.

MR GRIFFITHS : Have you ever had a proper look at the collection ?

YOUNG EUGENE : No, Sir.

MR GRIFFITHS : Would you like to ?

YOUNG EUGENE : No, Sir.

MR GRIFFITHS : I play golf.

YOUNG EUGENE : Oh. Good, Sir.

MR GRIFFITHS : I play golf and one day when I was playing really badly I was stuck in the first bunker whacking away at all the sand…

Mr Griffiths, looking through a glass fronted cabinet, takes out an object and holds it in front of himself.

MR GRIFFITHS : …And this fell out of the sky and landed, plop, beside me.

YOUNG EUGENE : From the sky ?

MR GRIFFITHS : Yeah. Well it looks a bit like a golf ball so I picked it up and put it in my pocket, but when I had a proper look later, here.

Mr Griffiths hands the object to Eugene who takes it, his interest piqued. It is a large glass eye - too large to fit a human.

MR GRIFFITHS : I realised it was an eye. I thought oh, where could that have come from ? It fell from the sky, isn’t that amazing ? Have it.

As Eugene looks at the glass eye the swirled iris moves. Mr Griffiths moves back to his desk and Eugene’s father enters the room holding a video camera and looking irritated.

SHAUN : Where the bloody hell have you been ?

Mr GRIFFITHS : Good evening !

SHAUN : Good evening. Come on Eugene.

Eugene dutifully picks up his jacket to leave with his father and walks towards the door.

MR GRIFFITHS : Have you got everything ?

Eugene pauses and shows Mr Griffiths the eye before leaving.

YOUNG EUGENE : Yes. Thanks Sir.

CUT TO :

INT. YOUNG EUGENE’S HOUSE.

Eugene sits at the kitchen table examining the eye while his parents argue loudly.

SHAUN : I went to the school didn’t I ?

BROMWEN : Oh just…

The remainder of their argument is lost under Eugene’s voice over.

EUGENE : (VO) Dad was mad at me for loosing the final, but now I had the eye…

CUT TO :

YOUNG EUGENE’S ROOM - LATER

A ceiling painted dark blue with planets and stars painted on it. Eugene’s voice over continues.

EUGENE : (VO) …and what I realised was, if it fell from the sky it probably, no, no, it almost certainly belonged to an alien.

Young Eugene lies on his bed looking up at his stellar ceiling. His parents still arguing downstairs.

BROMWEN : (From downstairs) …get out of my house.

SHAUN : (From downstairs) I’m off !

The door slams and young Eugene turns his head to look. Then climbs out of his bunk bed to look out of the window at his father. He bangs on the window but his father does not hear, he gets in his car and leaves.

EUGENE : (VO) That was the night Dad went away. But it was okay because I had the eye, and the possibility of an alien encounter.

Young Eugene goes to his bookshelf and picks up the eye. He stands holding it under a reading lamp.

EUGENE : (VO) I mean, if you leave something really important behind, you come back and get it. Don’t you ?

Young Eugene returns to the window and looks through his telescope at the moon.

EUGENE : (VO) God I wanted that alien to come back and claim his eye more than I wanted anything in my life. I worked out the possible provenance…

CUT TO : images of various planets.

EUGENE : (VO) …The life-form and galaxy. Planetary escape velocities, launch windows, necessary fuel capacities, and then I waited.

CUT TO : The eye travels through the universe.

CUT TO :

EXT. DOCKS - NIGHT - RECENT PAST

Eugene stands next to the police cordon at the scene of an incident. A few other civilians stand with him.

EUGENE : (VO) My Dad never came back. As I got older I became interested in UFO’s, collected alien artefacts, watched the stars and waited alone for my alien…

Torchwood SUV pulls into the site. Gwen gets out the SUV and walks towards the boot.

EUGENE : (VO) And then, I found you. Gwen Cooper.

Eugene goes over to speak to Gwen as she gets equipment from the car.

EUGENE : I’m Eugene Jones and erm, I’ve a keen interest in your work and, err, I’ve got something, er, I just like, I’d just like, I’d just like to show.

Jack stands at the incident site, surrounded by small, grounded boats. Owen walks past Gwen carrying equipment. Gwen holds 2 boxes and pauses to speak to Eugene.

GWEN : Hi.

EUGENE : Hi…

JACK : (Off screen) Gwen, come on !

Gwen indicates her equipment, not having the time to spare to speak to Eugene.

GWEN : Look, I’ve gotta go.

EUGENE : Please, please !

She walks away. Eugene follows, waving papers at her which he drops and are blown away by the wind. He stops and watches her go to work.

EUGENE : (VO) But I couldn’t quite make contact.

CUT TO :

EXT. ANOTHER INCIDENT SITE - LATER DATE.

Eugene approaches Owen and Gwen as they putting equipment back into the SUV. Owen again walks past him and Eugene speaks to Gwen.

OWEN : You again.

EUGENE : Gwen, I’ve got this thing I, I really need to show you.

Gwen gets into the SUV.

GWEN : Sorry.

EUGENE : (VO) I couldn’t get you interested in the eye, no matter how hard I tried.

INT. EUGENE’S HOUSE.

Gwen is at Eugene’s house to see his mother, Bromwen, and tell her about his death. The ghost of Eugene stands with her.

BROMWEN : Are you sure it’s my Eugene ?

GWEN : Yes Mrs Jones.

BROMWEN : Perhaps, you couldn’t, really identify him.

GWEN : We could.

Bromwen starts to cry and Eugene leaves the room, not wanting to watch his mother’s grief. Bromwen looks around at the over, unable to come to terms with the sudden news.

BROMWEN : That’s his tea there.

CUT TO :

INT. EUGENE’S ROOM

Owen goes through a stack of magazines in Eugene’s room, Ianto is with him sorting through the belongings. Eugene enters. Owen throws down the magazine he was flicking through and some fall to the floor.

OWEN : sh*t.

Owen moves to stand near Ianto. Eugene bends to pick up the magazines. Owen looks at a leaflet proclaiming ‘Black holes and the uncertainty principle’

OWEN : What are we doin’ ‘ere ?

Ianto opens a cabinet nearby.

IANTO : Look at this.

Labelled trinkets have been placed neatly on a glass shelf.

CUT TO :

EUGENE’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Gwen sits next to Eugene’s brother, Terry, on the settee. Terry isn’t really listening, watching television instead.

GWEN : Do you understand what’s happened to your brother, Terry ?

TERRY : Yep.

GWEN : What.

TERRY : He walked into a road and got run over.

Gwen looks at the television, a programme about elephants, and changes her tactics.

GWEN : Where’s yer Dad ?

TERRY : Works for a big corporation in America.

Owen enters and indicates she should go with him.

OWEN : Gwen.

Gwen puts a hand on Terry’s shoulder as she stands, he doesn’t really notice.

CUT TO :

EUGENE’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Gwen picks up items from the cabinet. Eugene stands next to her.

EUGENE : That’s pre-gorgon Pilurian currency. I had them authenticated.

GWEN : Are these Roman coins ?

Owen holds another item, it appears to be Rice Crispies glued to a piece of rock.

OWEN : Hey look, Rice Crispies. Man there are some rogues out there.

Gwen turns back to the cabinet and notices a stand without an object.

GWEN : Oh, hang on, there’s something missing here.

Bromwen enters and Gwen picks up the stand and turns to her.

GWEN : Mrs Jones do you know what’s missing from Eugene’s collection ?

BROMWEN : Why didn’t they stop ? They k*lled my boy and just… drove on.

Gwen puts the stand back, knowing she can ask no more questions.

CUT TO :

EUGENE’S FRONT DOOR - LATER

Bromwen stands holing the door open as Owen leaves, followed by Gwen, carrying a boxes of Eugene’s belongings.

OWEN : Excuse me.

GWEN : I am sorry Mrs Jones.

Bronwen nods her understanding through her tears. Eugene follows Gwen through the door, pausing as he goes.

EUGENE : Look mum, I’m sorry, but er, we got the best team ever workin’ on this, the Torchwood, me, top. We’ll get sorted mum. See I…

Bromwen returns inside, unable to hear Eugene, he keeps speaking as she walks past.

EUGENE : …Think there’s probably been some mistake, so er, so erm. Gotta go.

Eugene walks away, realising that it’s pointless talking to his mother as a ghost.

INT. THE HUB - DAY

The cog door opens and Gwen enters followed by Owen, Ianto and Eugene.

GWEN : I wanna know where he last ate, where he’s been…

EUGENE : Oh wow, this is, this is, I’m totally, Christ almighty !

Eugene turns around to see the Doctor’s hand and it’s companion piece on the table.

EUGENE : The head of Vexor 11. No way ! And, wow, a hand, in a jar.

GWEN : What was he doin’ out in that road ?

Gwen puts her box down on the table next to the settee.

OWEN : Oh f*ck knows. Categorising chevrons. He was a geek.

Eugene wanders through the hub.

EUGENE : Oh, this is truly legendary.

Gwen walks down into the autopsy room followed by Owen.

OWEN : Gwen he had a bit of a thing about you and now you’re feeling guilty.

GWEN : Sod off Owen.

Owen indicates the body of Eugene lying on the table covered with a sheet.

OWEN : You do it then.

GWEN : I do it, the autopsy ?

OWEN : Yes, I’ve got a stack of admin.

GWEN : Okay, good.

OWEN : Sure.

GWEN : Yes.

OWEN : Really ?

GWEN : Yes.

CUT TO : Eugene standing in the middle of the hub still looking around.

EUGENE : I am in heaven. Am I ? Is that… ?

Eugene walks into the autopsy room and sees Gwen unzipping the body bag to reveal the face of Eugene’s corpse.

OWEN : Number three scalpel, start at the sternum, piece of piss.

Gwen has put on an apron and she puts on some latex gloves, preparing to start the autopsy. Eugene stands but the stair rail, watching.

EUGENE : Okay, here we go. This is also new to me but erm, in an investigation like this…

Gwen places the scalpel next to Eugene’s sternum and prepares to cut. Eugene’s ghost faints. Gwen looks round, as if she heard a noise. Ianto enters.

IANTO : Okay, a red Vauxhall has been stopped just outside Camargan, very drunk guy. Has admitted knocking a man over near Cardiff, fits Eugene’s description. The man says he thought he’d be okay so he drove on.

OWEN : Oh, he was a sweet guy that’s very sad. Now, can we get on with some proper work please ?

Gwen looks at him, unhappy, knowing there’s something going on.

INT. THE HUB - AUTOPSY ROOM - NIGHT

Eugene lies on the walkway at the top of the stairs looking at his corpse. He stands and walks into the central hub. He stands behind Owen who sits at his workstation eating an apple. Eugene looks lost. He has seen the autopsy hasn’t been performed and doesn’t know what to do.

INT. EUGENE’S HOUSE - NIGHT

Bromwen looks out of the window of her house onto a darkened road, crying. Eugene walks towards the window, unseen by his grieving mother. Eugene watches his mother then walks away, unable to console her.

INT. THE HUB - CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT

Gwen sits with Jack, Toshiko and Owen at the desk.

GWEN : Do you think Eugene committed su1c1de ?

TOSHIKO : It was a road accident and there was no alien involvement.

GWEN : You see I’m not so sure because, something seems really odd. I mean I, I just feel that there’s something going on.

OWEN : Marvelous, thank you for that Disney moment, now who’s making the tea.

GWEN : Yeah well I suppose Eugene’s a bit odd and a real local and amateur for you…

OWEN : Now why is it that only Gwen seems to have a heart. I don’t know if you’d noticed but the rest of us are human and amazingly we still manage to get on with our jobs.

JACK : Okay you two.

GWEN : Okay, fine, leave it. Forget it. I have.

INT. THE HUB - DAY

Open to monitors playing a movie at Owen’s station, he sits reading some papers, only half watching the film. Gwen looks over at him then walks to his station.

GWEN : Is that Eugene’s DVD ?

OWEN : No. Yes. It was on loan from the video store.

GWEN : You were nicking his stuff ?

Owen puts down the papers and removes the DVD from his computer.

OWEN : I was gonna take it back.

GWEN : I’ll do it.

OWEN : Suits me, there’ll be a fine.

Gwen walks away with the DVD and Owen turns his back on her and continues reading his papers.

CUT TO : Gwen’s workstation.

Gwen boxes up evidence bags of Eugene’s belongings, she sees the mobile phone and puts it in her pocket and gets her bag.

GWEN : I’m gonna go for some lunch.

OWEN : Alright

Owen holds an arm up, not actually waving without turning to look at Gwen.

INT. A CAFÉ - CONSECUTIVE

An egg is dropped into a pool of fat in a frying pan in the café. Gwen enters and speaks to the owner who is collecting plates.

GWEN : Hi. Do you know when the video shop round the corner opens ?

CAFÉ OWNER : No, he’s a law unto himself.

Eugene enters behind Gwen.

EUGENE : Gwen ! Gwen what are you doin’ here ? This is my lunch café, this is where I come…

GWEN : Do you know someone called Eugene Jones ?

EUGENE : That’s me mate, that’s, that’s me.

GWEN : Middle height, sandy hair, ordinary lookin’…

The café owner shakes his head.

CAFÉ OWNER : No, what can I do for you love ?

EUGENE : I come in here everyday ! Two eggs ham and chips everyday !

GWEN : Two eggs ham and chips please.

Gwen walks over to a table while the café owner writes down her order. Eugene looks after her, realising he might be getting through to her, he smiles and walks to her table.

EUGENE : So, so er… wow, this is so weird. I used to follow you around, now you’re following me.

Gwen gets Eugene’s mobile phone out and looks at it, flicking through the pictures of random shoes. Eugene looks over her shoulder.

EUGENE : You see I don’t know whose those are. Can’t remember anything. Except, phone Gary, he might know something. Phone Gary, phone Gary.

Gwen scrolls through the names on Eugene’s phone to Gary’s number and calls it. Eugene is a little perplexed that it worked.

GARY : (On phone) Hi this is Gary please leave a message.

GWEN : Hi. My name is Gwen Cooper, I have some very bad news for you Gary…

The café owner puts Gwen’s plate of food on the table and leaves. Gwen looks at the plate and watches him walk away, unsure why she ordered the food. Eugene leans over to smell the food.

GWEN : Erm, I’ll give you a call back later.

EUGENE : That is so beautiful.

INT. VIDEO SHOP - LATER

Gwen enters the video shop followed by Eugene. A dinosaur programme is playing on a large television screen and the owner is not behind the counter. As Gwen waits the owner stands up behind the counter, on his mobile.

GWEN : Hello.

Josh snaps his phone shut and looks at Gwen.

JOSH : Hey gorgeous, wanna borrow a dream ?

GWEN : No thank you, I wanna return some DVD’s on behalf of someone who’s deceased.

JOSH : Deceased no sh*t.

He takes the DVD’s from Gwen

JOSH : That’s pretty final.

GWEN : Eugene Jones.

JOSH : Ay… I think he used to come in here, with a mate, bit of a dreamer, kind of…

EUGENE : Irresistible ?

JOSH : …ordinary looking.

GWEN : Yeah, he was k*lled in a road accident.

JOSH : Oh, that’s too bad, sweet guy.

Josh looks at the till, pressing a couple of buttons.

JOSH : Thirty four pounds please.

GWEN & EUGENE : (In unison) thirty four pounds !

JOSH : Yeah, sorry, er… he’s had ‘em out ages, I haven’t seen him in months…

Eugene walks to the counter and leans over to look at the till.

JOSH : I don’t think I can bend the rules just ‘cause he’s dead.

EUGENE : …bastard. Sorry Gwen.

GWEN : That’s okay.

JOSH : Did he er ?

Josh motions hanging himself to Gwen.

JOSH : Did he ‘walk into oncoming traffic’ ? See, lot of people come in ‘ere, they don’t wanna be themselves anymore. They wanna be someone else, they want me to transport them. How ‘bout you baby ?

EUGENE: Oh, leave it out.

GWEN : I’m fine thank you. How ‘bout you ?

JOSH : Me ? I’m outta here, goin’ to London in a couple of months, know what I’m sayin’ ? See no disrespect but Eugene had looser written through him like Brighton in a stick of rock. Maybe he just couldn’t live with his failure.

Eugene looks around at Josh when he is called a failure, not believing that he was.

JOSH : Wanna write a cheque ?

CUT TO :

ARIEL CARDIFF - DAY.

EUGENE : (VO) Failure. Is that right ? Has my life just been one big failure ?

CUT TO : A Lift.

Gwen enters a lift followed by Eugene.

EUGENE : (VO) I mean maybe I never quite lived up to my early promise as a maths genius but that’s because I was waiting, for the alien to collect his eye and change my life.

The lift opens on a large office, open plan. Gwen and Eugene exit the lift, Gwen looking around.

EUGENE : (VO) And while I was waiting I joined Pathmoore Telesales.

Eugene walks into the office and looks around at his old workplace.

EUGENE : Oh yes, this is all nauseatingly familiar.

EUGENE : Selling kitchens, home insurance, barbeque sets. Selling life and, still waiting.

Gwen walks behind Eugene, almost following him. She looks through the pictures on the mobile again, looking for a match. Eugene points out people he knows.

EUGENE : Jason ! Kevin ! There’s the guy with the personal hygiene problem. Nothing changes really. Hi Morag. Me and Morag used to go out.

Gwen sees some shoes matching those in one of the photos.

EUGENE : (VO) So how come I can remember the details of my fascinating daily life but the vital couple of weeks before I d*ed are still a complete mystery to me ?

Gwen walks over to the man wearing the shoes from the photograph. He is returning from the water cooler. An ordinary looking man in a shirt and a t*nk top.

GWEN : Er, are you Gary ?

GARY : Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you ere, oh are you…

GWEN : Gwen ? Yes. I was just wondering if you saw Eugene the day he d*ed.

GARY : No, erm, sorry.

Another employee walks over with a card. Holds it out while Gary puts down his glass of water.

GARY : Just done a card you know.

Gary takes the card and reads from it.

GARY : Good luck in your new job. He’s dead !

MAN : No ! Who’s it for then ?

GARY : His mum. You idiot !

MAN : sh*t ! Can you rub it out ?

Gary holds the card out to him, showing him the writing.

GARY : It’s in biro. People just, don’t understand.

Gary storms away, Eugene and Gwen follow him.

EUGENE : Don’t worry mate it’s okay.

A woman sees Gwen and speaks to her as she passes.

LINDA : Is it true ? He got run over ?

GWEN : Yeah.

LINDA : God ! Sorry, I’m Linda, I’m silver seller.

Linda starts crying and Gwen perches on her desk and passes her a tissue. Eugene stands near Linda’s desk, looking at her.

LINDA : It’s all about belief see, if necessary I am kitchens for a life time. Eugene was only ever himself.

GWEN : He wasn’t the best salesman then ?

LINDA : No, I think Craig kept him on out of the goodness of his heart. Have you met Craig ?

GWEN : Your boss ? You two an item ?

Linda nods, coyly.

EUGENE : A snog in the ladies at the Christmas party.

LINDA : But I can’t really talk about it here, ‘cause of Craig’s you know, erm, position.

GWEN : Do you wanna meet at lunch time for a chat ?

Linda nods, a little eagerly, like she’s not asked to meet for lunch very often, wanting someone to talk to.

GWEN : Okay. Er, where does Gary sit ?

Linda points out the desk.

LINDA : Er, number 50.

GWEN : Okay, thank you, thanks.

Gwen walks over to Gary’s desk with Eugene. She sits down and her phone rings. She answers it on her Bluetooth.

GWEN : Owen.

OWEN : (On com) Yeah, Jack wants to know where you are.

GWEN: Yeah, sorry. I had a few things to sort out.

Gwen picks up a leaflet from Gary’s desk - ‘Black Holes and the Uncertainty Principle’.

GWEN : I’ll be back later.

OWEN : (Over com) Yeah, well make it quick.

Gwen hangs up and taking the leaflet leaves the office.

INT. A BAR - LATER

Gwen sits with Linda, two empty pint glasses on the table. Eugene standing between them, listening to the conversation.

LINDA : Yeah, well one day Eugene came in very low.

GWEN : Why, why was he low ?

LINDA : He wouldn’t talk about it. Anyway, I was fed up too, ‘cause Craig, well anyway I said I’d love to get away from it all and go to Australia, Eugene suddenly got very excited and said ‘yes, you’ve got to go’. I said ‘well I haven’t got the money’ and he said he’s get it for me.

GWEN : So he was going to pay for a ticket for you to go to Australia with him ? Was he in love with you ?

LINDA : Oh no, he loved someone he said was unobtainable.

Eugene, sitting down now, looks over at Gwen as Linda says this. Gwen smiles tightly, listening intently, half knowing Linda means her.

LINDA : He was just, trying to look after me. He said ‘don’t stay here and waste your life waiting for something that may never happen’.

GWEN : But where was he gonna get the money from ?

LINDA : Exactly.

EUGENE : You said, er, ‘you haven’t bought as new pair of socks in six years’.

LINDA : I said ‘you haven’t even had a new pair of socks in six years’, he stood up and he said…

Gwen’s phone rings.

LINDA : That’s your phone.

Gwen turns off the call, intent on hearing Linda’s story.

GWEN : Yep, he said…

LINDA : He said, ‘I’m going to sell it’ I said ‘what’ he said ‘my alien artefact’.

EUGENE : So…

GWEN : So…

LINDA : So he brought it into work.

CUT TO :

EUGENE’S OFFICE - PAST

Eugene puts the alien eye on his desk and shows it to his colleagues; Gary, Linda and Pete.

PETE : It’s a plastic eye.

EUGENE : It’s an alien body part. And I’m gonna sell it in Ebay.

LINDA : Eugene, it’s very nice of you but I don’t think that’s gonna get me the bus into town let alone a flight to Sydney.

Eugene looks at them then looks down at the eye, disappointed.

CUT TO :

BAR - PRESENT

LINDA : Some people laughed, but he went ahead and of course it just sat there.

EUGENE : She said maybe a photo, a bit, bit more of a description so…

LINDA : Then out the blue two pound fifty came from Birmingham and then…

CUT TO :

EUGENE’S OFFICE - PAST

Eugene works at his station, Gary, at the neighbouring station is checking the auction on Ebay and calls out to Eugene.

GARY : Eugene, you’ve gotta couple more bits. Bloody hell, seventy five quid.

LINDA : (VO) That was just the beginnin’. Two hundred, three hundred, one thousand. It just kept on goin’ up.

While Linda speaks, see Eugene watching the auction page with increasing surprise, on the auction page the figures increase as Linda says them, up to £3000.

CUT TO :

BAR - PRESENT

LINDA : Three thousand pounds ! For a spare body part. Pete said you can get a bathroom suite with a celebrity appearance for less than that ! And then one day it just , jumped.

CUT TO :

EUGENE’S OFFICE - PAST

Show the auction screen, the current bit goes from £3000 to £15,000. Linda looks over Eugene’s shoulder at the auction page.

LINDA : Oh my God, Eugene, you’re rich !

The bid increases again to £15,005.50.

CUT TO :

BAR - PRESENT

LINDA : Fifteen thousand and five pounds fifty.

EUGENE : So who bought it ?

GWEN : Who bought it ?

LINDA : I’ve no idea. Is it all my fault ?

GWEN : No, of course it’s not.

Gwen’s phone rings and she picks it up from the table, answers.

GWEN : Hello.

BROMWEN : (Over phone) Hi, it’s Eugene’s mom.

GWEN : Mrs Jones

BROMWEN : (Over phone) There’s something I think you should see.

GWEN : Okay, I’ll come over.

Gwen hangs up and stands to leave.

GWEN : That was Eugene’s mum, I’m sorry Linda I’m gonna have to go.

Linda gives Gwen a sad smile and drinks her wine as Gwen walks quickly from the bar.

INT. EUGENE’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

Gwen sits with Bromwen on the settee. Eugene sits at the table at the far end of the room. Bromwen blows her nose as they watch a video of Eugene at the Interschool Maths Final. Eugene’s dad’s voice can be heard on the video.

SHAUN : (On video) There he is, my son at the Interschool Maths Final, big moment, youngest contestant in Wales.

MR GARRETT : (On video) So, it’s down to the wire, the last question will settle the final. What curve is represented by y2 = 4ax ?

Eugene doesn’t know the answer and the quizmaster repeats the question.

SHAUN : (On video) Don’t let me down boy !

Eugene fails to answer the question and they loose the final. Bromwen stops the video.

GWEN : I don’t understand, someone gave him the eye as a consolation prize ?

BROMWEN : Yeah, it was that Mr Garrett, the science teacher. Plastic eye, huh, consolation prize, but still, Eugene treasured it.

Terry enters the room.

TERRY : That was the night dad walked out.

BROMWEN : Went away.

TERRY : You can stop now mum.

BROMWEN : What’d you mean ?

TERRY : He’s dead. Maybe able to square the root of the square friggin’ root but he couldn’t cross the friggin’ road.

Eugene walks towards them and his mother starts crying at Terry’s words.

BROMWEN : Terry please.

GWEN : He sold the eye online, so, something musta happened.

TERRY : Dad left when he found out Eugene was a failure. That’s what Eugene always said.

BROMWEN : That’s not true. None of that’s true. He went ‘cause of his job. He has a very important job.

GWEN : Does Mr Jones know about Eugene ?

BROMWEN : Well you see, he works for a big corporation in America.

TERRY : Stop giving us that sh*t ! He’s not superman mum, he works in a garage of Filey Road ! Eugene found out two weeks ago.

Eugene crouches down next to Terry, wondering at the new information.

TERRY : Found it on the internet. He’s a cashier, works nights.

Bromwen starts crying again.

EUGENE : (VO) Oh God, now I remember why I sold the eye.

CUT TO :

Gwen’s car driving through Cardiff at night. Eugene’s voiceover continues.

EUGENE : (VO) Life can be such a let down can’t it ? All those years I believed my dad went to America because I was a failure and here he was all along, doin’ his important, secret work in Filey Road, Cardiff. I couldn’t even bear to say hello.

Gwen stops the car opposite the garage and they look through the rain to see Eugene’s father leaving the shop.

EUGENE : (VO) I spent my life believing in stupid stories, fantasies. I’ve wasted my life. Once I’d seen him there everything I’d dreamed about was utter rubbish. It was just a crock of sh*t, including the eye.

Gwen takes off her seat belt as Shaun walks away from the garage.

EUGENE : (VO) So why not sell it ? Along with the woodworm, treatment and loft insulation and all the other crap floating around in the world. Linda was welcome to the money.

Gwen opens the car door to speak to Eugene’s father.

EUGENE : No, no don’t, Gwen.

Gwen stops, reconsiders and shuts the car door.

EUGENE : I don’t want anything to do with him. Sorry.

GWEN : It’s okay

Gwen puts her seatbelt back on.

INT. THE HUB - NIGHT

Gwen takes an evidence bag of Eugene’s things from the storage box and puts it in her bag. Track back- Gwen stands with Eugene, Jack walks up behind them and startles them both.

JACK : You turned your phone off.

Jack leans of a pillar with his arms crossed waiting for Gwen’s explanation.

GWEN : It was Eugene.

Gwen and Eugene sit down and face Jack.

GWEN : He didn’t understand why his father left, he just needs a bit of help.

JACK : To do what ? He’s dead.

GWEN : Yes Jack I know he’s dead, but…

EUGENE : This is not sounding good Gwen.

JACK : I’ve got work to do.

Jack walks off.

GWEN : Okay.

EUGENE : Ay, no, you can’t just stop ! I mean what about the fifteen thousand pounds ? Gwen ? Gwen !

Gwen stands and speaks so Jack can hear her.

GWEN : Okay, listen to this.

Jack stops and turns to face Gwen, listening to her better explanation.

GWEN : Eugene had an alien eye in his collection. He sold it online.

JACK : What like a Sixth eye ?

Gwen nods slightly and Jack walks back to her, interested suddenly.

JACK : A Dogon Sixth eye ?

GWEN : Maybe.

JACK : It’s possible. There was a trade in them. Who’s got it ?

GWEN : I don’t know but I’ve nearly tracked it down. What exactly is a, er, Sixth eye, I mean exactly ?

JACK : It’s one in the back, lets you see behind you, where you’ve been. Kinda puts things in perspective. It’s useful, fun, slightly terrifying, that’s why they were in demand.

EUGENE : See, see I told you.

GWEN : I can get it for you.

EUGENE : My alien, see, see ?

JACK : Okay, you’ve got the weekend. But keep your phone on.

Jack walks away again. Eugene looks to Gwen, ecstatic. Gwen smiles happily.

EUGENE : God, you are brilliant ! And I’m brilliant to.

Gwen takes out the leaflet from Gary’s desk - ‘Black Holes and the Uncertainty Principle’.

EUGENE : Oh, yeah. Course. Gary and me were gonna go to that talkin Aberystwyth.

EXT. ROAD - DAY

Gwen’s car travels down a countryside road to Aberystwyth.

EUGENE : (VO) Black holes and antimatter were pretty important to me and Gary, but if I’m gonna spend a night by the sea…

Through windscreen - Gwen driving along, happy, Eugene in the passenger seat, looking at Gwen grinning.

EUGENE : (VO) I know who I’d rather be with. I’d trust you with my life, if, you know, I still had one.

INT. SCIENCE AND NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM - ABERYSTWYTH - DAY

Gwen enters the lobby followed by Eugene who looks up at the ceiling as he enters, pauses looking up then hurries to catch up with Gwen. Gwen walks up the stairs and enters the exhibition. She sees Gary looking at an exhibit.

GWEN : Gary.

Gary looks up and runs away. Gwen starts to follow then leans on the banister looking for him. Eugene stands to the side, watches Gary walk back to them.

GARY : I’m not proud of what I’ve done.

CUT TO :

A different gallery within the museum - fossils. Gwen leans on a case as she speaks to Gary, Eugene standing behind her.

GWEN : You hiked the bid ?

GARY : I created three or four online aliases and used them to inflate the price.

GWEN : But why ?

GARY : First…

Gary starts walking away, needing to move while he talks. Gwen and Eugene follow.

GARY : Just to cheer him up, he was miserable, then the bidding took of and we got, I mean I, was involved at first. I was just helping Eugene make money. Then one morning…

CUT TO :

FIRE ESCAPE - PAST

Eugene runs down the metal stairs from his office to find Gary who stands under the stair case smoking.

EUGENE : Gary, Gary. I think he’s here.

GARY : Who ?

EUGENE : The alien, my alien. I think he’s come back to claim what’s rightfully his.

Gary says nothing just looks at Eugene vacantly,

EUGENE : Gary I’d stopped believing in his, I mean, I thought I was a total sucker but who else would be bidding this kind of money for a prosthetic eye ? He couldn’t contact me any other way so…

GARY : So he chose Ebay ?

EUGENE : Well cyberspace. I mean even an online auction has a certain elegant symmetry. Think I’m finally gonna meat him.

CUT TO :

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE AND NATURAL HISTORY - DAY

Gary, Gwen and Eugene continue walking through the museum, Gary telling them what happened.

GARY : Well I was doubtful at first you know and then suddenly, out of nowhere, bang, fifteen thousand, then the bid jumped to a cool, cowing fifteen thousand.

EUGENE : Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember us talking.

GWEN : I thought it was fifteen thousand and five pound fifty.

Gary looks at an exhibit, not looking at Gwen, evasive.

GARY : Yeah, it was yeah. I mean, I wouldn’t spend that kind of money unless it’s my own personal, private body part or something, would you ?

EUGENE : No.

GWEN : No.

EUGENE : No wait, I remember, yes, I waited a couple of days and then I got an email telling me to er, come to er, come to, er, a restaurant.

Gwen looks at Eugene’s phone, finds the right picture.

GWEN : You saw Eugene the day he d*ed, didn’t you ?

GARY : Yep, I met up with him before he went to meet the alien, I had a cup of coffee, he was scared.

EUGENE : Was I ? Course I was.

GWEN : So he went to make the exchange, fifteen thousand five pound fifty for the eye, right ? And this was somewhere on the A48 perhaps ?

GARY : Or not.

GWEN : Or not ?

GARY : Eugene was very secretive, could have been in Splott.

GWEN : Splott.

Gwen doesn’t believe him. Gary looks away, Eugene speaks to him over his shoulder.

EUGENE : Doesn’t sound right mate.

Gwen shows Gary the photos on the camera.

GWEN : Who are these people with you, Gary ?

Gary looks at the phone but doesn’t really look at the photos so Gwen pushes the phone towards him and he takes it in one hand to look property, scrolling through the pictures.

GWEN : Why would Eugene take a photo of your shoes ? And whose are the other shoes ?

GARY : They’re just random shoes I should think. I miss him.

INT. GWEN’S FLAT - BEDROOM - NIGHT

Gwen sits on the bed glancing at the photos on Eugene’s phone while Eugene paces about.

EUGENE : Yes, yes I can remember. I called a taxi then I put the eye in a freezer bag…

Gwen puts down the phone and looks through the evidence bag she put in her bag.

EUGENE : And then there was this, I was walking up this road, going up towards, erm…

Gwen takes a set of keys from the evidence bag and looks at it, she smiles at a little silver alien head attached, looks at the keys while Eugene talks.

EUGENE : … er, er a shiny building, with, with a great door which said something about, er, happiness, happiness…

Gwen looks at a small piece of plastic with a small red face on it.

EUGENE : I don’t want you to find out what happened, I don’t want this to end. I love you.

Gwen looks towards Eugene as he says he loves her. Gwen gets off the bed and stands in front of Eugene, very close, as if she would kiss him. She cannot see Eugene, she is looking out of the window towards the bay. Gwen’s reflection is seen in the darkened glass. Eugene breathes out and move’s Gwen’s hair very slightly, she brushes her hair back and closes the curtains.

INT. GWEN’S FLAT - BEDROOM - NEXT MORNING

Gwen lies in bed, asleep. Rhys is not there. Eugene lies beside Gwen and as she rolls over she stretches out her arm slightly, her hand rests near Eugene’s head. Eugene smiles, pretending she did it on purpose. Gwen’s phone beeps Eugene gets up, Gwen groggily finds the phone and picks it up to look.

EUGENE : I thought we were on holiday.

EXT. A48 - DAY

Gwen drives down the A48, Eugene in the passenger seat.

EUGENE : Yes, yes this is it. We came up the hill and there it was, there is was the…

Gwen looks to the left and sees the restaurant sign - ‘Happy Cook’, with the same red face symbol she saw amongst Eugene’s belongings. Gwen turns off the road to the restaurant car park.

EUGENE : The Happy Cook.

They both exit the car and walk towards the restaurant.

EUGENE : Yeah, I walked towards the door, wondering who exactly I’d be meeting. Excited, quite stressed. sh1tting myself really.

Gwen goes through the door into the restaurant, followed by Eugene.

EUGENE : I opened the door, I walked in and saw…

Gwen looks down and sees the woman’s shoes from the photograph.

GWEN : I’ve been looking for a pair of shoes like that for ages.

EUGENE : And saw…

POV EUGENE : sh*t follows the waitress the tracks left

CUT TO :

HAPPY COOK - PAST.

Gary and Josh sit next to each other at a booth by the window.

EUGENE : …my mates.

Eugene walks into the restaurant and sees Gary and Josh. Josh smiles at him. Eugene looks around then goes towards them.

EUGENE : Hi guys, good to see ya. But erm, I’ve got the rendezvous.

JOSH : It’s us.

EUGENE : Yeah I know but he won’t want a crowd. I’m meeting the buyer. I’m, I’m meeting the alien.

JOSH : We are the alien, man. We bought it.

EUGENE : What ?

The waitress comes to the table and puts Gary and Josh’s food on the table.

WAITRESS : Here. What are you havin’ ?

EUGENE : Erm, I’ll have a milkshake, thank you, banana.

The waitress walks away and Eugene sits down opposite Gary and josh.

JOSH : Yeah, so, we are the official buyers, can we see the merchandise ?

Eugene wipes his forehead with a tissue then digs in his pocket for the eye. He starts to show it to Josh then pulls his hand into a fist around the eye.

EUGENE : I don’t quite know what you’re trying to tell me here.

GARY : See we did it as a joke to cheer you up. I mean, we didn’t think we’d be the actual buyers.

JOSH : Then he said, you said you thought it was the alien, and we thought well, that’s funny init ? Common Eugene, get real. But then we thought, let him dream, man, life’s short, and, really boring. So then we went on bidding and…

EUGENE : You bid fifteen thousand for the eye ?

JOSH : Not us, no, no way. Turns out there was real interest.

GARY : Someone else bid the fifteen thou, but then, er, he got greedy.

JOSH : Ketchup please.

GARY : Just couldn’t resist one more measly little bid, fifteen thousand and five pound fifty, and then, well nothing, nada, endville.

JOSH : Okay, shut the f*ck up Gary. Point is, we bought it, we’re the purchasers, da-dar !

EUGENE : So you’ve got the fifteen thousand five pound fifty on you, have you ?

JOSH : Got thirty four pound.

GARY : Thirty four pound, Eugene, that’s not a poke in the eye, so to speak.

EUGENE : I’m calling a cab.

Eugene takes his mobile from his pocket angry with Gary and Josh. Josh reaches over the table to take the phone from Eugene.

JOSH : Settle down.

The waitress walks over with Eugene’s milkshake. As she does do, Eugene take photographs of Gary, Josh and the waitress’s shoes on his mobile then looks up at the waitress.

WAITRESS : Banana milkshake.

EUGENE : Thank you. If it’s all such a sodding joke, why do you even want it ?

JOSH : I got a friend, with a visual impairment.

EUGENE : You’re gonna re-sell it online aren’t you ? You cheap little kids, you know he’s out there.

JOSH : Who’s out there ?

EUGENE : The alien, and he’ll pay anything, he’ll pay anything.

JOSH : Eugene, man, I’m as partial as the next guy to a bit of si-fi but, what, a green geezer with six eyes ? Get real, guy ! I checked the bid history, Mr C Blackstaff is a collector of alien ephemera and n*zi memorabilia. Also, Beanie Babies. Teeny bit coo-coo but endearingly rich, and if he’s willing to pay fifteen thousand…

Josh makes a grab for the eye and it falls from Eugene’s hand to the floor. They both go for it, falling to the floor.

WAITRESS : Oi !

CUT TO :

HAPPY COOK - PRESENT

Gwen and Eugene stand near to the waitress, watching her as she clears tables and tells Gwen what happened.

WAITRESS : So now they’re inconveniencing customers.

GWEN : You stepped in.

WAITRESS : Well, I tried.

CUT TO :

HAPPY COOK - PAST

The waitress walks over to stop them, sees the eye then picks it up. Gary lies under the table, also after the eye and sees her pick it up. The waitress holds the eye out at arms length, disgusted by it.

EUGENE : (VO) I didn’t really know what the eye was any more.

Josh grabs the eye from the waitress and tries to leave the restaurant. Eugene grapples him and the eye falls from his hand. Eugene picks it up.

EUGENE : (VO) But I was damned if I was gonna let it go for £34 and a banana milkshake.

Determined that Josh and Gary cannot get the eye, Eugene puts it in his mouth and swallows it. Josh grabs Eugene from behind.

JOSH : Heimlich, Heimlich !

GARY : What are you doin’ ?

JOSH : Getting the goods idiot ! And get the milkshake.

Gary picks up the milkshake and goes over. Not really a strong enough person to ever argue with Josh he tips milkshake into Eugene’s mouth while Josh ineptly tries to give him the Heimlich manoeuvre.

CUT TO :

HAPPY COOK - PRESENT

The waitress serves people, still talking to Gwen.

WAITRESS : Well that’s just not acceptable behaviour, not at a Happy Cook. They were makin’ a public spectacle of themselves.

CUT TO :

HAPPY COOK - PAST

Gary, Josh and Eugene grapple. Josh punches Eugene in the face and Eugene manages to get out of the door.

WAITRESS : And that was it. He was out the door and gone.

Gary and Josh enter.

WAITRESS : Oh my God that is so weird !

Gwen looks round, Eugene walks past the waitress towards Gary and Josh, angry with them now he remembers what they did.

EUGENE : You bastards, you are so dead ! I knew Josh was a dickhead but Gary, we were, I mean, we were mates.

Eugene stands in front of Gary, speaking to him. Josh faces the waitress.

JOSH : Hi doll.

WAITRESS : Are you talking to me ?

Eugene comes to stand next to the waitress and look at Josh. The waitress looks scornfully at Josh.

JOSH : Yeah, sorry, er, look. I dunno if you remember us from last week.

WAITRESS : Yeah.

JOSH : Yeah, now thing is there may be people coming in to ask questions. A woman specifically and I think that to would be in your best interests if…

Gary has seen Gwen.

GARY : Shut up, Josh.

JOSH : The woman was complying man !

Josh looks round and sees Gwen who waves at him from a distance away.

JOSH : Okay, cool.

Josh tries to run away but Gary trips him and he falls onto his back.

JOSH : What did you do that for, twat !

GARY : I miss him !

Gary sits down upset rather than leaving. Eugene stands looking out of the window at the road while Gwen talks to Gary and josh.

GWEN : So, he ran out the door and you two ran after him ?

GARY : Yeah, we chased him across a car park but Eugene was quite fast, Josh had new shoes, he was making a fuss.

JOSH : Hey, hey, you are overweight.

GARY : He hared across a road and we lost him. Honest to God.

GWEN : Okay.

GARY : That’s it.

GWEN : Okay.

Gwen stands up and walks over to stand next to Eugene looking out at the road. Gwen dials a number on her mobile and puts the phone to her ear while it rings.

EUGENE : All those cars, all those lives moving through space.

GWEN : (Into phone) Hello, can you give me number for Filey Garage, Filey Road, Cardiff please ?

EUGENE : All that humanity whizzing by in a frenzy of…

INTERCUT WITH :

Eugene running across a field, looking behind him for Gary and josh.

EUGENE : …burgers and chips. Bank holiday fun, burst tyres, screaming kids, sudden heart att*cks.

GWEN : (Into phone) Put me through thanks. Mr Jones, you don’t know me but, I’m a friend of your son Eugene. I’ve got some bad news I’m afraid.

EUGENE : (VO) Now I remember.

CUT TO :

Eugene running across a field.

EUGENE : (VO) Apart from a buzzing in my ear where Josh whacked me I felt good. I was running across a field on a Saturday morning. The smell of exhaust and banana milkshake, a slight nausea, heart b*ating too fast ‘cause I wasn’t that fit.

Eugene runs into a road without noticing, pauses in the middle, catching his breath. A red car approaches.

EUGENE : (VO) All the stuff that tells you you’re alive.

The car slams on it’s breaks but can’t stop in time. Josh looks round just before it hit him. He is knocked onto the bonnet, over the roof of the car and over the boot onto the ride of the road where he rolls to a stop on the grass. He lies on the grass verge dead. The car has carried on.

EUGENE : (VO) By rights I should be well pissed off. My mates had cheated on me and I didn’t get to meet any aliens.

CUT TO :

EUGENE’S FUNERAL

EUGENE : (VO) But I realised that when I swallowed the eye at the happy cook, I was given a chance…

Eugene walks between the pews at his funeral, as the few mourners sing a hymn.

EUGENE : …to look back on my life and see what it really was.

Eugene pauses and looks across to see Gary standing near the front singing.

EUGENE : (VO) Gary, I’m gonna miss you. Not the biggest turn out you can hope for but still. I wish I could…

Eugene moves around, looking at the attendees. He sees Gwen and faces her.

EUGENE : God Gwen, I wish I could say thank you. And here he is, my dad. Only fourteen years late.

The congregation sits and Bromwen goes to the lectern, crying, to speak, about to read from a piece of paper.

EUGENE : (VO) So now I know it wasn’t my fault my dad left and of course he wasn’t superman, or even an alien, he’s just an ordinary bloke.

Bromwen is unable to speak and Shaun takes the stage instead, helping her with a consoling hand on her shoulder as she leaves.

SHAUN : Er, Eugene, he was a good boy, but somehow, things went wrong. I wasn’t there. I wish I could have seen him before…

EUGENE : (VO) An ordinary bloke, who made a mess of things.

SHAUN : (Cracked singing, getting stronger) Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are callin’ from, glen to glen, from door to mountainside and summer’s gone and all the flowers dying ‘cause you must go and I must stay behind in, but come ye back when summer’s in the meadow, oh when the valley’s hushed and white with snow, and I’ll be there in sunshine and in shadow…

The coffin starts to move and Eugene runs to it.

EUGENE : No.

SHAUN : …Oh Danny boy…

EUGENE : Not yet.

The coffin sinks as Eugene watches it, his body about to be cremated.

EUGENE : (VO) Dad made a mess of things, he went away, and that’s a shame really, it’s a terrible pity, because we missed each other completely.

CUT TO :

Cemetery. Gwen walks slowly from the crematorium, Eugene stands looking out over the cemetery speaking to her.

EUGENE : You know 28 is one of those perfect numbers, it’s equal to the sum of it’s devisors.

Gwen turns, looks at Eugene.

EUGENE : I’m 28. I was 28.

Gwen walks to Eugene, looks sadly over the cemetery.

EUGENE : I think I’m gonna have to go soon Gwen.

GWEN : Oh, God.

EUGENE : Yeah.

Gwen starts to walk away, she stops when Eugene speaks again.

EUGENE : Also, 28 centimetres per second is the top speed of a lone lobster.

A door opens from the crematorium and a man comes out. Gwen turns to speak to him.

GWEN : Oh, hi.

The man hands Gwen a paper bag.

GWEN : Thank you, I’m sorry I had to ask you to do that.

MAN : Yeah, no problem.

The man shuts the door and Gwen looks inside the bag, the eye lies at the bottom.

EXT. EUGENE’S HOUSE - DAY

People in black mill about in Eugene’s drive, people waiting for those that attended the funeral to come home for the wake.

EUGENE : (VO) So, if it’s the eye that’s been keeping me here, now it’s no longer inside me, why the hell am I still hanging around ?

Eugene walks down the road towards his house followed by Gwen who clutches the bag to her.

GWEN : Eugene, the eye is in the bag now, rather than in you, I hope…

The Torchwood SUV pulls up beside Gwen and Jack, Toshiko and Owen get out and walk to her.

OWEN : Hello stranger.

JACK : Did you get it ?

GWEN : Yeah, I got it.

Gwen holds open the bag for Jack and he takes out the eye, looks at it with a whistle.

JACK : Impressive.

OWEN : Well we haven’t done the tests yet so…

TOSHIKO : Common, we’ve gotta go.

They start to get into the car and Gwen looks over at Eugene’s house, notices something and starts to walk over.

GWEN : Jack, can you give me five ?

JACK : Yeah.

A taxi pulls up outside Eugene’s house and Shaun gets out. He walks onto the drive to Bromwen and Terry. He holds out his hand to Terry, watched by Eugene.

EUGENE : (VO) In the average lifetime the human heart will b*at 2 million times, you will produce over eight thousand gallons of saliva, and grow three hundred and fifty miles of hair.

An SUV drives at speed down the road. Gwen steps into the road not paying any attention, staring in happiness at Shaun getting back with his family.

EUGENE : (VO) You’ll eat the equivalent in weight of 6 elephants. Oh, isn’t life amazing.

Eugene sees the SUV approaching Gwen as it passes Torchwood. He runs towards her and pushes her out of the way just before the car hits her.

EUGENE : Gwen ! Gwen !

The eye rolls to a drain but does not fall in. Jack, Toshiko and Owen walk over to Gwen. Gwen lies on her back with Eugene crouches over her. She sees him, surprised.

GWEN : Hi. Oh my God, Eugene !

EUGENE : Are you okay ?

GWEN : It is so good to see you. Eugene you’re on my leg !

EUGENE : Oh sorry.

GWEN : No, it’s fine, it’s fine. It’s fine.

Jack, Toshiko and Owen stand looking at Gwen, Eugene looks up at them.

EUGENE : Can they see me ?

The mourners on Eugene’s drive look at Eugene.

EUGENE : They can see me. Thanks.

GWEN : No, thank you, thank you, you just saved my life.

EUGENE : That’s okay.

Gwen leans forward and kisses Eugene, he laughs.

EUGENE : That’s unbelievable, that’s un-bloody-believable. Oh God, I think that’s it.

Eugene picks up the eye from the drain and hands it to Gwen as he stands.

EUGENE : Goodbye, Gwen

POV Eugene. Gwen sits on the pavement looking up at Eugene.

GWEN : Don’t go now Eugene, Eugene, please don’t go now. Eugene, please. Please !

Track upwards, pulling out to a view of Britain, the world, Earth growing smaller as Eugene speaks.

EUGENE : (VO) The average human life is full of near misses and absolute hits, of great love and small disasters. It’s made up of banana milkshakes and loft insulation and random shoes, it’s dead ordinary and truly, truly amazing. What you’ve got to realise is it’s all here, now so breathe deep and swallow it whole because, take it from me life just whizzes by and then all of a sudden it’s…

Darkness and a flash of white light.

CLOSING CREDITS

Paul Chequer - Eugène Jones / Luke Bromley - young Eugène / Roger Ashton-Griffiths - Mr Garrett / Steven Meo - Josh / Celyn Jones - Gary / Robyn Isaac - Linda / Gareth Potter - Shaun Jones / Joshua Hughes - Terry Jones / Amy Starling - Serveuse / Leroy Liburd - serveur du café / Ryan Chappell – Pete.