(grand orchestral fanfare
playing)
MARK: Caitlyn,
this is a process, okay?
But it's important
for you to remember
that the only person
who can save us is ourselves.
CAITLYN:
He's a monster.
A g*dd*mn f*cking monster.
That's what he is.
(heavy, shuddering breaths)
But I can't seem
to get away from him.
Do you remember what drew you
to Mitch in the first place?
We met at work, and...
...he was charming
and mysterious.
He wined and dined me
and took me traveling,
and...
he told me it was me and him
against the world.
He made me feel important.
RENFIELD:
Hello.
My name is
Robert Montague Renfield.
And just like
all these decent folks,
I am in
a destructive relationship.
-(neck snaps)
-(yells)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That was a lot.
Maybe we should just back up
to the beginning.
(thunder crashes)
Mr. Renfield, I bid you welcome.
I am...
-Dracula.
-(wolf howls in distance)
RENFIELD: When I met him,
I was a real estate lawyer
hoping to make a deal
that would change my life
and my family's lives forever.
Oh, and it most certainly did.
You will make a very good
assistant, Mr. Renfield.
RENFIELD:
I understand how Caitlyn feels.
I never drink wine.
RENFIELD:
He also wined and dined me.
He made me feel important.
He introduced me
into high society.
-We went to the theater.
-(applause)
-We traveled to exotic places.
-(people screaming)
And then he made me
his familiar.
Which means that I take care
of Master's every need.
Including staff changes
and arranging his special
dietary requirements.
(bite crunches)
Look, I didn't just jump into
serving the Prince of Darkness.
We had some great times.
But just like all great times...
-DRACULA: Servant.
-...they come to an end.
DRACULA:
The hunters have returned.
(grunts)
RENFIELD:
Ah, yes.
The bugs. This comes up a lot.
Dracula's powers come from
consuming human life.
Mine come from eating bugs.
Make sense? Great.
Now, where were we?
-(yells)
-(screams)
-(speaking Latin)
-(snarling)
-(growls)
-I'm coming, Master!
sh*t. f*ck. sh*t.
sh*t. f*ck. sh*t. f*ck.
-(whooshing)
-(grunting)
Sh-Sh-Sh-sh*t.
This is a protection circle,
Renfield.
Mm.
He cannot escape.
Let us rid this world
of his evil,
and you can finally be free!
DRACULA:
Free? (scoffs)
The moment I'm gone,
they will lock you away
for what you've done for me.
I am your only salvation.
I am your only friend.
I am the only one
who cares for you.
RENFIELD:
I actually remember thinking,
"He really, really means it
this time."
(whooshing)
PRIEST:
Renfield!
We are the last of our kind.
From now on, every drop of blood
Dracula spills
will be on your hands.
(hisses, roars)
RENFIELD:
f*ck. I was not expecting that.
(screams)
Or that.
(screaming)
(coughing)
Master, you okay?
No.
Yeah.
This is a fairly typical result.
At the peak of his powers,
Dracula goes on
a full-tilt
blood-sucking bender,
the good guys show up
and do their thing,
and then it's up to me
to clean up the mess.
-(thunder rumbling) -It's what
I call our transitional period.
So I take him to a new city,
nurse him back to full power,
find a decent place
to ride it out
until the whole cycle starts
all over again.
Uh, excuse me. H-Hi.
May I borrow a pen, please?
Thank... you.
Which brings us back here.
In the meantime, I come here
and listen to these poor souls
talk about their monsters.
You were just talking
about Mitch, what...
I know this is, like,
way down the list of bad stuff,
but he's also really into ska.
-The kind of music?
-Yes.
Fishbone, Mustard Plug,
Voodoo Glow Skulls.
I f*cking hate that sh*t!
I'm so sorry, Caitlyn. I'm so...
-Mark, I am... I'm so sorry.
-MARK: It's okay.
Is that the one
that's 99% horns?
Yeah, see,
that's what I was thinking.
No.
That's a huge oversimplification
of ska's innovative contribution
to music.
(crying):
Oh, my God, who am I?
(coughing)
-Renfield?
-Hmm?
Sorry, no, I swallowed a bug.
Unintentionally.
What-what other way
is there to...
Would you like
to share your story?
No. Thank-thank you.
I don't think you'd understand.
I know it's scary.
And you think things
are never gonna change,
but I promise you,
one day you're gonna realize
that you can have
the life that you want.
But in the meantime, I just hope
that you get something
out of coming here.
I am.
That's great.
RENFIELD:
Oh, yes, I'm getting something
out of coming here: victims.
But not these victims.
MARK:
Let's do our affirmations.
(inhaling deeply)
GROUP:
I am enough, and I have enough.
I deserve happiness.
I am grateful for all that I am,
and I take full charge
of my life today.
RENFIELD:
They can repeat these
-affirmations all they want.
-(applause)
It'll never make
their problems go away.
But I can.
Now, no one's ever gonna
call me a hero,
but I've come up with
a mutually beneficial solution
for people like Caitlyn:
get rid of their monsters
by giving mine what he needs.
("The Same Everyday"
by The Slackers playing)
Hey, Doug. What are you doing
over there, buddy?
There's somebody
out there, Mitch.
Oh, my God, there's no one
out there, Doug!
Bro, do you think
the Lobo family is gonna
let us get away with this?
We stole
their f*cking dr*gs, man.
I don't want to hear it, Doug!
(music stops)
g*dd*mn it.
-What the f*ck?
-Oh, f*ck.
That was the best part.
What the f*ck, man?
This is exactly why
you never set your picnic up
next to a pile of dog...
sh*t! Okay.
Hello, Mitch.
Uh, look.
Wait, wait, wait!
Okay, hold on. I'm-I'm sorry.
Okay? I'm sorry.
It's too late for sorrys.
You took something
you can never give back.
Well, we can give it back.
That's not a problem.
We'll just give it all
back to you. There it is.
Go ahead.
-Have it. No problem.
-RENFIELD: Uh...
-what is this?
-DOUG: It's the, um...
th-the dr*gs we stole
from your boss, sir.
I'm sorry.
Uh, who do you think I am?
A-A hit man sent to k*ll us.
(chuckling)
RENFIELD:
I am something much,
much worse.
I'm a friend of Caitlyn.
(laughter)
(laughing):
Oh, my God.
Get the f*ck out of here.
No, no!
(Bizet's "Carmen Suite No. 2:
II. Habanera" playing)
(grunting and groaning)
(muffled shouting)
(muffled squealing)
(sighs)
(muffled grunt)
(muffled shouting)
Wait. What did you say about
a hit man sent to k*ll you?
Oh.
(deep voice):
Who are you?
A friend of Caitlyn's.
Uh, more of an acquaintance.
You were smaller
from back there.
Funny.
Oh! (grunts)
(grunting)
Looks like you're out of knives.
-(blade slashes)
-(grunts)
(gasping):
I was wrong.
(whimpering)
(growling)
(engine revving)
(sniffs) Ah.
Yeah, of course
the hit is going well.
I got Apache Joe on it.
(scoffs) The man cuts out
people's tongues
with a hunting Kn*fe.
You tell him his name is r*cist.
-(grunts)
-(whimpers)
-Come on!
-(horn honking)
(grunts)
(groans)
(whimpers)
(grunting, panting)
(roars)
(sighs)
(roars)
Oh, sh*t.
RENFIELD:
Oh, sh*t.
sh*t.
What the f*ck?!
(groaning)
What the f*ck?!
(tires squealing)
You, uh, been drinking
tonight, sir?
No.
Why? You interested?
All right,
get the hell out of here.
Everything okay over here,
partner?
Yes.
Just frustrating
being on this sh*t detail
when there's real crimes
happening out there.
(chuckles):
Drunk driving isn't real crime?
You know what I mean, Chris.
We got a stack of missing person
reports to follow up on.
(engine revving,
tires squealing)
-(horn honking)
-TEDDY: Come on!
-Holy sh*t, it's Teddy Lobo.
-What the f*ck? Come on!
-Are you sure?
-You know who I am?
I'm Teddy f*cking Lobo!
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Don't do anything crazy,
Rebecca.
I'm just doing my job.
You do your job
in a very crazy way,
especially when it comes
to the Lobos.
f*ck.
Oh, f*ck.
-f*ck it!
-(engine revving)
Look out, Chris!
f*ck a d*ck! sh*t!
Don't move! Hands on the wheel!
I got a prescription
for this sh*t!
sh*t.
What did I f*cking do?
-Is he throwing dr*gs at us?
-Yes!
I didn't do anything wrong.
f*ck. Cocaine!
You can't f*cking catch...
Are you f*cking serious?
(grunts)
(yelps, groans)
(siren wailing in distance)
You're under arrest, bitch.
(sighs):
f*ck.
RENFIELD:
After decades of being
chased away
from every corner of the globe,
our options and bank account
have become a little limited.
It's not exactly a castle,
but it is exactly
the kind of place
no one tends to notice
a convalescing monster.
(straining)
Master?
Master.
(panting, grunting)
Oh, dear Jesus.
Master. (chuckles)
There you are.
You're looking...
...much better?
Fetch me the hand.
Yes. Right away.
There you go.
A little amuse-bouche.
Palate cleanser.
-(grunts)
-Ugh.
Is that good?
(retching)
What is this?
Uh, that...
Uh, that is, uh...
that's Doug, I believe.
Doug is trash!
You're feeding me trash!
I'm sorry, Master.
This one doesn't even
have a head.
Oh, no, he did have a head.
You know, I don't ask
for much, Renfield.
Just the blood
of a few dozen innocent people.
I know. I'm sorry, Master.
Let's-let's get you sat down,
and then...
I want happy couples,
unsuspecting tourists,
a handful of nuns, a-a...
a busload of cheerleaders.
A busload of cheerleaders?
A busload of cheerleaders
will get me back to full power
like that.
Do you mean female cheerleaders?
Don't make it a sexual thing.
No, no. I did not say it was.
You know it's not the gender
I'm concerned with.
You know, I-I'll eat boys,
I'll eat girls.
It's the purity.
It alone will bring me
back to...
Full power.
I get it, Master.
You deserve better.
But the modern world
is a dangerous place.
Maybe if we were just
a little bit more careful,
we could, you know,
stop running.
You know, settle down,
and I could have...
We could have a life again.
(grunts)
It must be difficult
to be caught between
their rules and mine.
(groaning)
Their rules offer
a confusing tangle of morality,
whereas mine are very simple.
You can k*ll and eat
whatever you want and never die.
And it truly is a gift.
And yet, you seem to think
it makes you
some sort of a monster.
Do you have any idea
how inconsiderate that is?
(crying):
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
My needs are the only thing
that matters, servant.
And what exactly are my needs?
Um, your needs, your needs
were the, uh...
uh, happy couples,
u-unsuspecting tourists, uh...
nuns, nuns
and a-a busload of cheerleaders.
Indeed.
RENFIELD: I suppose this is what
you'd call my health-care plan.
His blood has the power
to heal the injured.
And there's not even a copay.
Unless you consider my soul.
DRACULA: You will get me
exactly what I want.
TEDDY:
I cannot go to jail.
I'll tell you anything
you want to know.
What do you want to know?
Murders! Murders.
We f*cking m*rder*d so many
f*cking people in cold blood.
Like last night, for example,
we m*rder*d these people
for trying to steal our dr*gs.
That's a twofer, my man.
That is a f*cking twofer.
Nobody's been in the room yet,
and he's already confessing.
You see that?
I'm gonna take down
the entire f*cking Lobo empire
off of one traffic stop.
Put her there, partner.
-Let's go.
-What?
-Let's go.
-I'm out?
-REBECCA: No. No!
-Let's go.
-I didn't say a f*cking thing,
by the way. -What the f...
-I'm out, baby!
-What the f*ck is this?
Excuse me, everybody.
Guess what.
f*ck you!
f*ck you and you.
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What is this?
He was about to give up
everything.
He was ready to say anything
because of the trauma
you put him through.
He was already traumatized
when I found him.
For crying out loud, Quincy.
-(stammers) -Your job is
to bust drunk drivers,
not single-handedly
bring down the mob.
He was running
from something, sir.
And then he crashed
into a DUI checkpoint,
committed ten felonies,
and not to mention eff-you-ing
a room full of cops.
-You eff-you me all the time.
-f*ck you, Kyle!
Look, Quincy.
Your father was
one of the most honest
and incorruptible cops I knew.
And you're a lot like him.
And before he passed,
I promised your father that
I would do my best
to take care of you.
But sometimes, you got to know
when to play ball.
This ain't your stepping stone.
It's your rock bottom.
What the f*ck are you guys
looking at, huh?
(grunts in frustration)
sh*t.
What'd you do this time?
What I do every time.
Catch Teddy Lobo
committing a crime, and then:
What? Oh, surprise,
he got away with it again.
And what about your-your little
FBI, uh, task force up there?
You guys been back
for four months.
What have you done
about the Lobos?
Oh, oh, oh, a-a wiretap?
Subpoena?
A f*cking parking ticket?
A hard stare across a diner?
I am just as mad about
what they did to Dad as you are.
I want revenge
just as bad as you do.
But every day, I force myself
to swallow that anger
so I don't f*ck up
my investigation.
And if you cannot learn
to let that go...
...you're never gonna get
the justice that you want.
You're not the only one
who lost a dad here.
m*rder, m*rder, m*rder
When he bust in
m*rder, m*rder, m*rder
When he bust in...
Here you go.
Take care of yourself.
-You earned it. Shower yourself
in it. -(gasps) Thanks.
-Teddy.
-WOMAN: Ooh! Okay.
Your mother wants to see you.
TEDDY:
All right.
m*rder, m*rder, m*rder,
when he bust in
m*rder, m*rder, m*rder...
Downstairs.
You might've heard of him,
the guy lost his nerve.
Long, even strokes.
Hey, Mom.
Teddy.
You said you want...
You said you wanted to see me?
Take a seat, please.
Do you even know why we became
the most powerful crime family
in this city?
We're not the biggest.
We're not the richest.
However, we are the most feared.
Our reputation for
ruthlessness and v*olence
is something I have worked
very hard to cultivate.
But lately,
our enemies don't seem to be
as afraid as they used to be.
(chuckling):
They're f*cking scared, Mom.
Not the two-bit punks
stealing our dr*gs.
Not the five families.
And not
that f*cking traffic cop.
This family is an empire, Teddy.
I built an empire.
And I need to know
its future is secure.
I need to know
whose hands it belongs in.
And I need to know those hands
can get a little dirty.
REBECCA:
I know Teddy's up to something.
I'm gonna find the evidence
to make it stick.
Got a lot of orange paint.
What is that?
Some kind of warning?
I think it's lyrics
to a ska song.
Ska's not dead.
f*ck.
("A sh*t in the Night" by 1933
playing inside)
You can touch the sky
-(lively chatter)
-'Cause there's a sh*t
In the night
Turning darkness
into light...
RENFIELD:
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
(horn honking)
(cheerleaders hollering)
Yeah! All right!
You think
you'll get answers here?
I think we'll get dinner.
Maybe answers for dessert.
RONNIE:
There she is.
You sure you want
to do this, Teddy?
TEDDY: Yes, I am sure
I want to do this.
That cop needs to be reminded
who runs this town.
(lively chatter, hollering)
Oh, sh*t.
f*ck.
Oh, this is not a good look.
Not a good look at all.
Abort. Abort.
Can you order me a number three?
The toilet just ordered
a number two.
(tires squealing)
Sorry.
RENFIELD:
Who the f*ck are these guys?
(whimpers)
(people screaming)
(indistinct shouting)
Move, and I'll blow
your f*cking head off.
-Take that, tourist!
-(screaming)
TEDDY:
Get down!
Hey, do me a favor.
Just remain calm,
and almost nobody will get hurt.
Thank you, Teddy.
I came here to connect you
to a crime scene,
and you go and turn it into one.
TEDDY:
What you trying to do?
Holy sh*t, were you trying
to imitate your dad?
What do you think,
your dad d*ed some brave hero?
We b*at the sh*t
out of your father.
And while he was lying there
on the floor,
he begged for his life.
Your dad was a coward.
But you know what? I want to
save you that embarrassment.
I'm gonna give you
the chance to live.
All you have to do
is admit to everybody here
that we own you, too.
So, what's it gonna be?
sh**t me.
What?
You heard me, assh*le.
sh**t me.
sh**t me like you sh*t my dad.
Or was that not you?
Were you waiting in the car
while one of your boys
did it for you?
I'm more than happy
to do it, Teddy.
Shut the f*ck up.
Have you ever sh*t
someone before?
TEDDY: I've sh*t
a million f*cking people.
REBECCA:
Then add me to the list.
Come on, tough guy. sh**t me.
TEDDY: If you think
this is a f*cking game,
I will sh**t you
in your f*cking face.
-REBECCA: Yeah? Dare you.
-(insects buzzing)
TEDDY: You want to be
a f*cking hero right now?
Okay, fine.
Here we go.
Congratulations.
You're better than your father.
(grunting, yelling)
(pained yelling)
(screams)
-(grunts)
-(screams)
(screams)
-(man yells)
-(gasps)
(man yells)
f*ck! sh*t!
(gasps)
(men screaming)
(panting)
-(man groans)
-Oh.
-(g*nsh*t)
-(man groans, body thuds)
RENFIELD:
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah. Oh...
That was amazing.
You were amazing.
What you did.
You stood up to him.
How did you do that?
What kind of life would I lead
under the thumb
of one of those assholes?
A very... a very sad one.
Yeah.
Did I watch you
cut a guy's arms off
with a decorative
serving platter?
Oh, uh, y-yeah.
That was adrenaline.
Uh, it was awesome.
(chuckles softly)
Um, I-I'm-I'm Rebecca Quincy.
Officer... Officer Quincy.
Robert Montague Renfield.
Oh, uh, Montague. Cool.
Are you from around here or...
Oh, no. I'm...
Uh, everywhere.
Ah, m*llitary.
That-that would explain
all the moves.
Yeah, but forever ago--
the Great w*r.
Uh... Iraq.
Maybe not great, uh, you know,
but overall pretty good--
three out of five stars.
WOMAN:
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to interrupt
whatever this is,
but...
can we get up now?
Uh, yeah.
If I could have everyone
please, uh,
just line up for me
for witness statements.
And if we could all thank
Mr. Renfield
for his brave, uh,
efforts today.
GROUP:
Thank you, Mr. Renfield.
MAN:
You are the man, Mr. Renfield.
And, um, thank you.
Y-You... you saved my life.
I...
saved a life?
You saved all our lives.
You must really not be
from around here,
'cause we certainly don't see
your kind very often.
I'm sorry, what kind is that?
Heroes.
Hmm.
RENFIELD:
Wow. That was amazing.
She is amazing.
And she saw me.
She really saw me.
That hasn't happened in ages.
I'd forgotten
what it feels like.
-Maybe there is hope.
-Oh, God bless you.
Maybe she can...
Renfield.
What are you doing?
Get here now.
RENFIELD:
Ah, f*ck.
Do you think it's too late
to grab one of those nuns?
What did we talk about
yesterday?
U-Um...
I've been up all day
thinking about it.
Oh. What's this?
Ah. My plan.
RENFIELD:
Your plan?
But your plan has always been
to just drink blood.
Exactly.
What have I been doing
all these years?
I mean, look at me,
lurking in the shadows and filth
like some kind
of a diseased animal.
You said it yourself--
I deserve better.
So, why am I not embracing
what I truly am?
Which is?
A god, Renfield.
An immortal, insatiable--
whoo!-- all-powerful being.
Everything you said about
the modern world is true.
-It is a dangerous place.
-Hmm.
Only not for us.
For them, it's a dangerous,
sad, broken place
full of fear and desperation.
It's weak.
Longing for a powerful force
to guide it,
control it, dominate it.
-Like you.
-Hmm. (chuckles)
I mean, this entire society
was designed by Renfields,
for Renfields.
So, why should I
have to adapt to it?
It should have to adapt to me.
(chuckling)
-I owe it all to you, servant.
-Oh, no.
I think you actually might have
read between the lines
-a little bit there.
-Indeed.
We're in this together,
Dracula and Renfield.
From now on, humanity
will no longer be divided
by the good and the evil,
only by followers...
and food.
(slurping)
You and I forever,
until the end of time.
Bloody hell.
CAROL:
How is my life?
My life is like a...
never-ending hallway
of fun house mirrors, but...
all the clowns are me.
Uh, hey, everyone.
I need your help.
Are you okay?
RENFIELD:
No.
I need to get out
of a toxic relationship.
Okay. Well, well, well, well,
take a seat and let her rip.
Okay, thanks.
Okay, yeah. f*ck Carol, I guess.
It's...
I hate her, too.
MARK: Why don't you start
by telling us
what brought you here
in the first place.
I was on the job.
Uh, for my boss.
Uh, well, and I was
actually following Bob,
because I thought
that Bob would make
a very good, um, uh...
Friend?
Yes. Thank you, Bob.
Thank you, Renfield.
And then, you know,
I started to hear
all of your stories and...
I mean, they were all so sad.
(laughter)
That's us.
And, you know,
for the first time in years,
I felt like I wasn't alone.
-You realized you're
a codependent. -Mm-hmm.
I need to change. I can see
that I-I need to change,
and, uh, I want to, but my boss,
he's pretty delusional, I think.
Uh, he thinks
he can take over the world.
-(light laughter)
-He's a narcissist, Renfield.
We all know exactly
how you feel.
-Yes.
-Exactly.
No, he's different.
-You can't get him
out of your head. -No.
Ooh, and you feel like
he could k*ll you
with the snap of his fingers.
-Yes. Wouldn't even
need to snap. -Oh.
He controls rats with his mind.
Uh...
It's okay, it's okay.
He's on medication.
Renfield, this is
codependency 101.
A narcissist will take
full advantage
of a codependent's
low self-esteem,
but you're the one
with the real power.
And all you got to do
is take it back.
How do I do that?
Focus on your needs.
I mean, I just haven't
thought about
any of my needs in years.
But if you were to stop focusing
on his needs, what would happen?
If I don't...
Yeah, what would happen?
Stop focusing on his needs.
What would happen?
-He won't grow to full power.
-(encouraging chatter)
Exactly.
He won't grow to full power.
What? That's so weird.
Why would you phrase it
like that?
But yes, he's right.
He's absolutely right.
He won't grow to full power.
You can take all that energy
you've spent on him
and put it toward yourself.
And then you will be the one
who grows to full power.
-WOMAN: Yes.
-MAN: Full power.
Me grow...
I-I'm gonna grow to full power?
I want to hear you say it.
Say, "I'm gonna grow
to full power."
I-I-I'm gonna grow
to full power.
I heard you say it,
but I didn't believe you.
-Nope.
-Let me hear you say it again.
-I'm gonna grow to full power.
-GROUP: Yes!
I see a smile there
because you like it.
Now, say it like
the world needs to hear it.
I'm gonna grow to full power.
There you go!
(encouraging chatter, applause)
-Yes! (laughs)
-MARK: That guy who walks
in here every single week,
say goodbye to him.
This is the person you are now.
Oh, oh, oh, am I ready?
Girl, there ain't a doubt
Am I ready?
-What you talkin' 'bout?
-Am I ready?
You gon' figure it out
To be loved, to be loved
You found me,
I was fed up with the fantasy
What you wanna do...
Here you go.
The power is in your hands.
That book is your armor.
It's your w*apon.
It's your Bible.
That's a cool ant farm.
(chuckles)
Is there room for one more?
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
Thank you.
(buzzing)
MARK:
Let's give him some ideas.
Do you know what a brush is?
-Am I ready?
-Girl, there ain't a doubt
Oh, and clean
them nasty fingernails.
-What you talkin' 'bout?
-Am I ready?
Spa day. I'll go with you.
To be loved...
Get your chakras
balanced, homes.
TREVANTE: Ooh, and update
that wardrobe to this century.
-Am I ready?
-(song ends)
REBECCA: You would think
that attacking a police officer
in front of a bunch of witnesses
at a restaurant would be enough
to put Teddy Lobo behind bars.
You guys don't think I know
what's going on here, huh?
I don't know
how many of you assholes
are on the Lobos' payroll,
but there's only so much
evidence you can tamper with
and so many witnesses
you can intimidate.
All right? Because eventually,
someone brave enough
is going to step forward,
and they're going to help me
take down the Lobos
and all of you m*therf*ckers!
Permanently! Permanently!
(Renfield clears throat)
Mr. Renfield?
Robert Montague Renfield,
yes, at your service.
You look different.
-Oh.
-Good different.
I really like your sweater.
Oh, thank you. (chuckles)
-I went to Macy's.
-Oh.
Um, I'm here to give
my witness statement.
You always bring flowers
to give a witness statement?
Yeah, uh, well,
th-they're for everyone.
-They're for everyone.
-Everyone.
Do you, um...
Probably put it in some water.
And the rest are for you.
-Thank you.
-Yeah. Pleasure.
Rebecca, is this your boyfriend?
Shut the f*ck up, Kyle!
Thank you for coming in,
Mr. Renfield.
It really means a lot.
Yeah, it means a lot
that I can actually
do the right thing, for once.
Well, if I could just stress
how appreciative I am
that you're here, uh,
because without you,
-I think I'd be a bit lost.
-No.
You stood up for everyone
who's ever lived in fear
of the powerful forces
shaping their lives.
Okay? And you need
to keep doing that,
because when
people like you stop
standing up to people like them,
that's when
the monsters take over.
So... (sighs)
You are not lost.
You're an inspiration.
Thank you, Mr. Renfield.
It's Robert.
Robert. (chuckles)
BELLAFRANCESCA:
This is the same prick
who took out everyone
in the restaurant.
Who does he work for?
-The five f*cking families?
-TEDDY: I-I don't know.
But we've hacked into
the NSA's Eye in the Sky,
and we can track him
using all these other cameras
throughout the city.
Yes, I can get you access
to whatever you want.
TEDDY:
Yeah, and then we enhance.
-IT GUY: We got a trace on him.
-TEDDY: Boom!
We did it.
Now we can track his every move.
IT GUY: His last known location
is at the old charity hospital.
You have until the end of the
day to find him and k*ll him.
Give me ten minutes.
I'll take the end of the day.
Can you run the DNA on this pen
through the Bureau's database?
And Interpol.
I can't trust this with anyone
who works in my department.
This pen was found
near a location
where these three guys
went missing.
Teddy Lobo was fleeing
from the same location
when I arrested him.
Huh.
Word on the street is
these are the three guys
who allegedly stole dr*gs
from the Lobos.
Right.
And the DNA evidence on this pen
just might connect Teddy Lobo
to that crime scene.
Maybe it's a long sh*t,
but I got to try.
Look, I know I-I haven't
handled anything well
since Dad, um...
but I really need your help.
Can you run this pen?
Please.
Let's go. Come on.
(hushed):
What the f*ck?
(faint squeaking)
(wings fluttering)
-(bat squeaks)
-(gasping)
(insects buzzing)
(grunts)
(panting)
Holy f*cking sh*t.
Ronnie, call my mom!
I'm on it.
TEDDY:
Ronnie, call my f*cking mom!
(men yelping, grunting)
Hello, Ronnie?
(grunts)
Ronnie, is this
another butt dial?
Did you guys f*cking bail?
Hello?
-Guys?
-BELLAFRANCESCA: Teddy.
-What the f*ck? Mom.
-Teddy.
Mom?
Teddy?
TEDDY:
Do you know who the f*ck I am?
-Teddy?
-I'm Teddy f*cking Lobo.
-I am Count Dracula.
-(Teddy choking)
You win.
Who are you?
You were sent by the church?
Church? No.
What are you f*cking
talking about?
I'm a criminal.
My whole organization
is about evil.
Evil. Oh, f*ck.
Dude.
Why are you here?
I'm here because
I want to find this guy!
I'm trying to find this guy.
He stuck his nose
in our family business
and k*lled some of our guys
trying to save
a bunch of innocent people.
So, what is he,
like, your f*cking roommate?
He's my servant.
He doesn't seem
to be serving you very well.
(grunts)
(bats squeaking)
REBECCA (recorded):
You've reached Officer Quincy.
Please state your emergency
at the sound of the beep.
-(beep)
-RENFIELD: Uh, hi, Rebecca.
It's not an emergency.
It-it's me, Robert.
What, uh, I was trying
to ask was, um,
maybe you'd like
to get a bite to eat...
Hello, Renfield.
I've been expecting you.
Please, come in.
Close the door.
sh*t.
Marvelous attire.
Very colorful.
You look like the sort of boy
who has to fight 'em off.
(laughs)
So, I suppose that's a no
as to you bringing me
my dinner tonight, hmm?
-A no? No.
-No?
(chuckles):
No, not a no.
-No, not no?
-Uh, yes.
(chuckles)
Big yes to dinner.
Ooh. Um, a feast.
A full feast, Master.
In fact,
I'm so glad you're here.
Um, I was actually, um...
I was on my way to see you.
Oh, you were on your way.
Yes, but I had, um,
too many bodies.
-Oh, you-you have bodies, huh?
-Yeah, too... too many.
Well, uh, so many bodies, um,
that I couldn't carry them all.
-Uh, you should have seen it.
-Mm. Mm-hmm.
The problem is my back
has really been playing up.
Anyway, the-the plan is
to rent a U-Haul, and that way,
-I'll be able to get all
the bodies... -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
You know what? It's so silly,
but you don't have to worry,
um, and I-I won't bother you
with my-my problems.
No, no.
Please, tell me
all about your problems.
Tell me all about
the g*n-wielding criminals
who came after you
for k*lling their men
because you were protecting
so-called innocent people.
I'm-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Master.
I never meant to hurt you.
Hurt me?
Are you actually suggesting
that anything you could do
would hurt...
me?!
No. No, no, no, no, no.
No, Master, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean...
I didn't mean that.
No, no, it's-it's all right.
It's all right.
-Really?
-No, it's... Yeah.
Let me explain
something to you, okay?
-Okay.
-I was wrong about you.
I should've realized
what you were capable of
when you were so eager
to join me.
I-I don't think I was eager.
I think that you caught me
at a low moment
-and you maybe manipulated me,
too. -No, no, no,
-no, no... -And you just
caught me at a low moment
-and used some of your power...
-...no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
I use my power
for a lot of things,
but I didn't need
to use it on you.
You were a lawyer
who wanted to get rich
off a real estate deal.
You're the one who used me!
You used my power
because you're a husk.
An empty void
that nothing can fill.
The only thing that gave your
life any meaning was my power.
The power you used
to bring me victims
while you pretended
to be one yourself.
(exhales heavily)
However,
I'm the real victim here!
I'm the one
you swore to protect!
And you...
abandoned me!
No.
That's not true.
Just like you abandoned
your wife and your daughter.
That's not... I didn't...
I didn't abandon them.
Look into your own eyes,
Renfield.
You're the monster, Renfield,
not me.
It's you.
No. No.
That's enough. That's enough.
What?
(sighs)
I will no longer tolerate abuse.
(laughing)
Stop laughing.
I deserve love.
I deserve happiness.
You deserve only suffering.
Um, oh. I know being undead,
it's a painful existence--
it is-- and I empathize
with your pain.
Oh, please. Illuminate me.
Let me learn from you.
I will find everyone
you have ever loved,
and I will drain them.
-I will reduce this... this...
-S-Studio apartment?
...studio apartment
until it's ash!
Uh... uh...
Affirmations, affirmations.
Uh, I'm enough, and, um,
I deserve some happiness.
There is some other stuff
that I have to say.
Who put these ideas
in your head?
(sighs)
Of course.
(whooshing)
What?
sh*t.
You think Doug was m*rder*d?
I can't say for sure, but I...
I hope he was f*cking m*rder*d.
I hope he was torn to
itty-bitty pieces and then...
I shouldn't be saying that
to a cop, right?
CAITLYN:
Karla, margaritas are ready!
Caitlyn! Oh, God. This...
CAITLYN:
Try this.
Are you Caitlyn Berggren?
I can be anybody I want now.
That's right. Yes, you can.
Did you file a missing persons
report for Mitch Flaherty?
-Maybe.
-Are you Caitlyn?
H-How do you two
know each other?
-Um, from this support group
thing. -(snickers)
Uh, for people addicted
to assholes.
-(chuckles)
-(shushes)
-Assholes Anonymous.
-(Caitlyn shushing)
At the Livespring Church.
CAROL: I realized that
I can identify healthy love.
I just don't think I deserve it.
Um, and that's partially
the shame talking,
but also the rash...
Renfield?
Can I get through
one f*cking share, please?
Is, uh... is everyone okay?
-If that's what you want to
call it. -MARK: We're all fine.
-What's going on?
What's going on? -We, uh...
We need to leave. Now.
I mean, where's the rule
that says we have to talk
about our feelings in a gym?
Come on, please.
Up. Up. Let's go somewhere safe
till morning.
Come on, up.
Everybody, move. Come on.
Renfield,
just take a deep breath.
We are all fine. I promise...
Mark, we need to leave now.
-All right...
-(door bangs open)
Hi. Uh, are you here
for the meeting?
Well, come on in.
No! No! No!
(electrical crackling)
You can leave your top hat
and cane by the door.
Renfield.
I'm... (laughs)
feeling much better.
Don't.
Would you like to introduce
yourself to the group?
I'm the prince of Wallachia.
(laughs)
Some call me the Dark One.
Others, the Lord of Death.
(giggles)
However, to most,
I am known simply as...
-Renfield's boss!
-(snarling)
I am Dracula.
Okay.
Obviously, we're dealing with
a little bit more than
just narcissism here.
Master.
Please.
I should never
have forsaken you.
You could've had everything.
I gave you the choice between
(echoes loudly):
the power of a god
and the pathetic desperation
of humanity.
Why?
Why would you choose this?
Because...
...that's what I am.
Master, please.
These are good people.
Good. You've finally brought me
what I've been asking for.
Let's eat.
Please. Please. No.
No!
-(hisses)
-(screaming)
Please, Dracula!
(people screaming)
(whimpering)
(screams)
No.
Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry.
There are some experiences
worse than death, Renfield.
Such as spending
the remaining years
of your miserable life
knowing all the depravity
you've witnessed
in the last century
will be nothing
compared to the suffering
I'm going to unleash
on this world.
The world you chose over mine.
When I'm finished,
the entire human race,
everyone you care about,
will suffer.
Because you betrayed me.
(whooshing)
-Holy sh*t.
-Hands in the air.
(trembling breaths)
RENFIELD:
I destroyed everything.
I'll call it in.
RENFIELD: I thought
I could save these people
by bringing Dracula
all of their monsters,
but what I've really done is
deliver my monster
right to them.
REBECCA:
Did you call it in?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(tires squealing)
(sirens wailing)
What the f*ck?
I'm sorry, Rebecca.
BELLAFRANCESCA:
It's okay.
This is not about you,
Miss Quincy.
It's about him.
I need to find out
what happened to Teddy
and punish those responsible.
You, of all people,
should understand that.
Well, I was gonna
take him to jail.
You all should come, too.
Look, Quincy,
this is a big arrest you made.
I want to offer you
a full promotion.
Right? Better hours, better pay,
better parking space--
in fact, Kyle's parking space.
-Uh, hey.
-f*ck you, Kyle!
Congratulations.
I know this is not exactly
what you were hoping for,
but success really is
the best revenge.
Okay.
(frantic chatter, shouting)
f*ck!
I want the whole city activated.
Find them.
OFFICER (over radio):
Attention, all officers.
Officer Rebecca Quincy
is now a wanted fugitive.
She and her male accomplice are
armed and extremely dangerous.
OFFICER 2:
Officer Rebecca Quincy
and one unknown assailant.
Proceed with deadly force.
(groaning, muttering)
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait. No, no, no, no, no.
(panting)
This crime family of yours,
would it enjoy witnessing
the beheading of its enemies
and the impalement
of all who oppose it?
That's-that's...
that's, like, our...
that's, like,
our whole thing, man.
And can the family
raise me soldiers?
We can... I can make
a couple calls, yeah.
Whatever pain
Renfield caused you,
I will return 10,000-fold.
I will unleash an army of death
whilst warming my skin
next to mountains
of burning corpses.
How does that sound to you?
(Teddy grunts)
It sounds like
you got to meet my mom.
(laughing)
(chuckles nervously)
Are you happy,
or are you gonna f*ck me up?
(both yell)
(laughing continues)
-(rustling nearby)
-(soft grunting)
(music playing quietly)
How are you feeling?
Hope you're hungry.
It's okay.
It's okay, your g*n and phone
are on the side right there.
I'm just gonna... gonna
set these down right here.
There we go.
-Where am I?
-My place.
It's not an abduction.
In fact, uh, you know, I'm very
much still in your custody.
Mind if I sit?
(sighs)
Snickerdoodle?
I don't want
your m*rder cookies.
They're just regular cookies.
Well, I don't know what
"regular cookies" means
to a m*rder*r.
Um, I don't really
know that, either.
Ooh. Careful.
-You should just rest up.
-Oh. Okay.
-You okay?
-Yes.
Give me the...
give me the m*rder cookie.
-Oh, yeah. -Just not the one
that looks like sh*t.
RENFIELD: I don't know which one
you think looks like sh*t.
Thank you.
Listen, I feel like I should
give you an explanation.
No explanation necessary.
I don't want you to think of me
as some kind of... m*rder*r,
when it's really
much more nuanced than that.
You know, if you just
hear me out for a second,
then you'll understand I'm...
I'm not such a bad guy.
I don't give a sh*t
what kind of guy you are.
Okay, there's no need
to be mean.
Excuse me?
I saved your life. Twice.
I'm not saying we need
to be friends, but you're in
a lot of sh*t right now,
and there's a very good chance
I might be the only person
you can actually trust.
The fact that you are
the only person that I can trust
just proves that I am
monumentally f*cked.
Well, maybe you're f*cked
because of
-your unresolved anger.
-What?!
I'm no psychologist, but I've
been to a couple of meetings...
Oh, you've-you've been
to some meetings? Yeah?
Where the people come in,
they're like, "Oh, hi.
How you doing?"
Drink some coffee,
then get brutally
f*cking m*rder*d?
Those meetings?
Uh, yes. Those meetings.
You know what?
I am angry.
I graduated top of my class,
and I'm still working
DUI checkpoints
in a town with
daiquiri drive-throughs.
I bust my ass
for a city that is corrupt
and lets the people
that k*lled my father
get away with anything
they want to do.
But unlike you,
I can't go and take out my anger
by k*lling every assh*le on the
street who I think deserves it.
I'm sorry. That sounds...
painful and, um...
I'm not taking out my anger,
if you'd let me explain.
Please.
Okay.
By all means.
(clears throat)
I work for Dracula.
What?
Dracula.
Dracula?
-Dracula.
-Count Dracula?
No, no. President Dracula.
Yes, of co... Yes. Sorry.
Count Dracula.
I'm... I'm his familiar.
I-I... you know,
I tend to his needs,
including care, feeding,
uh, you know,
anything especially during
the daylight hours.
Like, you get Dracula
people to eat?
I do other stuff, too.
Like what? Wash his cape?
No.
It's dry-clean only.
(sighs) My God.
I cannot believe
I bought into your bullshit.
You're not a hero.
You're not even a villain.
You're just a guy
that kills random people.
(cell phone vibrating)
What?
Rebecca, you were right.
I ran that pen through Interpol.
This is beyond the Lobos.
Whoever's responsible
for those disappearances
has been linked to cases
all over the world
going back decades.
If this is the same guy,
he's probably 70 or 80 years old
and he might be
the most prolific serial k*ller
the world has ever known.
So, where are you?
Where am I? Um...
I'm-I'm at his...
I'm at his place.
But-but it's-it's okay
because he's-he's in...
-he's in my custody.
-What?
And he made me some cookies.
You didn't eat the cookies,
did you?
No. I don't eat the cookies
of strange men.
Okay. Well, I'm gonna head
over there with my team.
No, no, no. Don't.
I need to get him to you.
The Lobos are after him, too.
I don't know who we can trust.
Meet me at Caf Du Monde
in 20 minutes.
Okay, just...
please be careful, Rebecca.
You, too.
-(sirens blaring)
-(engines revving)
(tires squealing)
Oh, sh*t.
REBECCA:
Go, go.
OFFICER (over radio): All units,
you have a green light.
Commence att*ck.
(siren blaring)
We need to find a bug. Now.
(indistinct chatter)
REBECCA:
Why?
Their life force gives me power.
Their life force
gives you power?
Yes. It's confusing,
but trust me, it works.
Any second now,
a sh*t ton of guys
are coming up those stairs,
and if you want me to do
what I did at the restaurant,
we need to find a bug now.
-You two, with me.
-Go, go, go.
Come on.
A juicy spider, anything.
Yes!
Give me that!
(grunting)
You're a bad man, Mr. Renfield!
Yeah, well...
Sometimes that comes in handy.
("Superdeadfriends" by Yungblud
playing)
I want to live
in a new dimension
Take a rocket ship
without no suspension
I want to live
in a world where I
Can be who I am
without having to try
Mum, Dad, let me breathe
Let me be free
to come off my feet
When you're making a baby
in missionary
Be prepared to accept them
for what they're gonna be
(groans)
-Ooh.
-That son of a bitch can fly?
Super dead kids
with super dead friends
You're inside my head,
you're inside my head
Super dead kids
with super dead friends
We got something left,
yeah, yeah
Each other...
(screaming)
-Oh, sh*t!
-Whoa.
-Oh, sh*t!
-Oh, sh*t.
Super dead kids
with super dead friends
We got something left
Yeah, yeah, each other
(yelling)
I got a travel ban
from this planet
They locked me in a room
with a man with no manners
We don't care if you're Black
or you're white
Asian or
sexually intertwined
It's time to take a look
at the world through our eyes
If you stick around,
you may like what you find
Take two from me
and you start to divide
It'll give you
all the energy
Times it by five
(groans)
(screaming)
'Cause they'll never know
where you were coming from
Super dead kids
with super dead friends
You're inside my head,
you're inside my head
Super dead kids
with super dead friends
We got something left,
yeah, yeah, each other
Super dead kids
with super dead friends
You're inside my head,
you're inside my head.
-(song ends)
-(panting)
(grunts)
(panting)
You know when
something crazy happens
and someone's like,
"I'm so sorry
you had to see that"?
-Mm.
-And the other person's like,
"It's okay,
I've seen way worse"?
Yeah.
Everything I saw you do today
is gonna be my "way worse."
This sh*t's gotten
completely out of control.
And for what? Teddy?
He's a freaking idiot.
I'm sorry, Bella, but I'm out.
Get the f*ck out my way.
This whole family
is f*cking nuts.
Oh, hey.
I was just talking about...
-(thump, slashing)
-(screams)
Looks like he's back in.
Son.
(chuckling):
Oh, Mom.
Where have you been?
Oh, I've been getting my hands
real f*cking dirty.
Come here.
I got to show you someone.
Right there.
Put it down right there.
Right in front of the head.
It's f*cking Dracula!
It's the real f*cking Dracula!
f*ck, man!
He wants to take over
the world with us.
Hello, Mr. Dracula.
Or should I say Prince Dracula?
Enchante.
The pleasure is all mine.
We have much to discuss.
Oh.
Okay.
REBECCA: God, I hope
my sister gets here soon.
There's a lot of heat on us.
RENFIELD: I took my family
to a place like this in London
the morning I left
for Dracula's castle.
You had a family?
I did.
Um, it was a... a long time ago.
A really long time ago.
Yeah, I'm older than I look.
That's Lilian.
She was five then.
I thought going to Europe
to make some big deal
with a count
would give us
the life we deserved.
Or, um...
what I thought I deserved.
I let them down in so many ways.
You know,
that's his greatest power.
He looks into your eyes
and finds
what you think you need
to make your life whole.
Your... your dreams
and your desires
and your... greed.
Your shame.
I blamed him for forcing me
to abandon my family,
but that... that's not true.
I...
I wanted all those things,
and I chose to follow him.
I'm not a victim. I'm...
I made all those mistakes
on my own.
Look, I don't think
you're such a bad guy.
Life throws
a lot of sh*t at you,
but sometimes
you fall under the thrall
of a vampire for a few decades,
and sometimes you call
your sister an unbearable twat
at Grandma's birthday party.
(chuckles softly)
You should make things right
with your sister while you can.
Hmm?
Speaking of.
I'm gonna call her.
DRACULA:
Renfield. It's so wonderful
that you have finally
found someone
who does inspire you
to grow as a person.
Hey, where are you?
DRACULA:
I have found some people
who will unleash my potential
as well.
They understand this world
for what it is
and what it needs.
BELLAFRANCESCA (over phone):
Hello, Rebecca.
Looking for someone?
Where's my sister?
I offered you so much, Rebecca,
but you put your faith
in such fragile institutions
instead of something
far more enduring.
We've got your sister.
She doesn't have much time.
Rebecca, where are you going?
-To get my sister.
-Rebecca, you don't understand.
It's not just the Lobos. It's...
Dracula is with them.
-Fine. I'll go myself.
-Look, please.
I tried to stand up to him,
and he k*lled people
I cared about.
I can't let that happen again.
You want to be a hero, Renfield?
You have to risk everything.
And as someone
that cares about you,
you're never really gonna
be free until you face him.
You care about me?
Is that what it takes
to get you in the car?
All right,
if we're gonna do this,
we need to prepare, and
we need to do it before sunset.
I'm ready to do it before lunch.
Okay.
REBECCA: Let's face it,
they know we're coming,
so let's go in style.
(engine revving,
tires squealing)
Yeah, just g*ns won't be enough.
I'm gonna need bugs--
lots of bugs--
wooden stakes,
uh, crucifixes,
and, uh,
maybe a protection circle.
What the f*ck is
a protection circle?
It's a circle
made of powder that--
it-it traps demons
if you say the right,
-uh, Latin stuff.
-Forget it.
Na, na-na-na, na-na-na,
na-na, na-na
Na, na-na-na, na-na-na...
Oh, once it's dark,
it'll be too late.
(munching loudly)
Can you maybe
save that for later?
Oh, sorry.
-It's all in...
-Is it in my teeth?
It is in every tooth.
-Dress like a sleeper cell
-Na, na-na-na, na-na-na
I'd rather go to hell
Pull this pin,
let this world explode.
Uh...
No matter what happens
in there, ju...
Make sure you save your sister.
(sighs)
Must be nice...
not needing to be invited in.
Wait a second. Wait a second.
Don't I know you?
Because you look so...
(snorts)
...familiar.
(yelling, grunting)
(g*nsh*t)
(screams)
(yells)
(laughing)
Afternoon, Officer.
sh*t. I'm out.
You think I need g*ns
to f*ck you up?
Let's do this. What the f*ck?
(grunting)
f*ck!
(grunting and groaning)
You should've taken my offer
when you had the chance.
Now the only choice
you're gonna get
is which one of your limbs
I'm gonna tear off first!
Go!
No!
(groaning)
Oh, this must drive you crazy--
him choosing me over you.
I don't really have
strong feelings about it.
I'm clearly the yin
to your yang.
We've barely met twice.
You patronizing piece of sh*t!
Oh, my goodness.
You almost scared me.
Where's my sister?
Oh, that.
One moment, please.
I need to set the mood first.
(trembling breaths)
-Hello, Rebecca.
-(gasps)
Don't worry.
I won't hurt you.
It's nice to finally meet you.
I can only imagine what
you might have heard about me
from poor Renfield.
Besides making him bring you
people to eat?
(chuckling): Well, we did have
a complicated relationship.
However, when I saw you
through his eyes,
I knew I had
to make things right.
Having Dracula powers
is f*cking amazing.
Stop saying "Dracula powers."
Fine. What do you call it?
It's a curse.
God, you're such
a f*cking drama queen.
Would you please listen?
They come with a cost, okay?
You'll become his sl*ve.
See, that's where you're wrong,
because Master told me...
sh*t.
Mm-hmm.
For half a millennium,
I've seen only weakness
in the hearts of men.
And then I looked into yours.
Renfield used only
the smallest taste of my power
to do what he thought was good.
Imagine what I could do,
Rebecca, with you by my side.
We could bring
the justice you seek
to those who've escaped it
for too long.
(groans)
-And I can heal your sister.
-(gasps)
My blood will bring her back.
No.
DRACULA:
Say the word, Rebecca,
and I will undo
what the Lobos have done.
All I ask in exchange...
(sniffling)
...is for you
to join me.
No, don't listen to him.
He said the same sh*t to me.
Can you save her?
Yes.
(yells)
TEDDY:
What did he call you again?
An empty f*cking husk?
See, that... that is why
Dracula and I work
so well together.
I'm a full husk,
full of everything you're not.
Strength, power, loyalty!
(groaning)
DRACULA:
Her time is running out.
Oh, join me.
Don't.
I told you,
this is what he does.
REBECCA:
So what?
I lost my dad.
I can't lose my sister.
And if he can give her
back to me...
...I don't care
if I lose myself.
You were wrong about him.
He's not a monster.
He wants to be better, like you.
Maybe I can help.
In all the darkness,
I can find the light.
(chuckling softly)
sh*t.
(switch clicking)
(hisses)
(screaming)
(button beeping)
(bats squeaking)
(grunts)
(metal clinking)
(trembling breaths)
(electrical buzzing)
(wings fluttering)
(rustling nearby)
DRACULA:
That was impressive.
I can see what Renfield saw...
in you.
(snarls)
Now he'll see it go into me.
(hisses)
(grunts)
Congratulations.
You sh*t my foot.
Your foot still bleeds.
(hissing)
Die!
(yells)
(screams) No! Oh, no!
(shouting)
(laughing)
You can't take my teeth.
You see, there will always
be people like you.
There are far more Renfields
in this world
than there are Rebeccas.
RENFIELD:
He's right.
There are millions
of people like me.
GROUP:
I am enough...
RENFIELD:
And they're all
trying to figure out
how to overcome
their destructive relationships.
Always remember, you're the one
with the real power.
RENFIELD:
Millions of codependent people.
I am the dark poetry
in the hearts of all mankind.
-(laughing)
-RENFIELD: Millions of people
just like me.
All you got to do
is take it back.
Do you know what you are?
Yes, I do.
-I'm Robert...
-(groaning)
Montague Renfield,
and I'm a codependent.
You're right. You didn't
have to use your power
to make me your servant,
because I gave
all my power to you.
And I can take it back.
I am enough!
And I have enough!
And I am capable of change!
(panting)
Because I love myself.
-(groans)
-I'm taking...
full charge of my life today!
Look into my eyes, Dracula.
(whimpering)
Full power, m*therf*cker.
(gasps)
(yells)
Holy sh*t, it worked.
RENFIELD:
Is that a protection circle?
I got the instructions
off a Wiccan Tumblr.
Oh. And-and that?
-Cocaine.
-Really?
Yeah.
I guess any kind of powder works
as long as you say
the right magic words.
Wow. (chuckles)
Thank you, Wiccan Tumblr.
(Dracula grunting)
So, um, what do we do now?
("Yesterday, Tomorrow & Today"
by David Wilkins playing)
I wake up each morning
With your sweet kiss
on my mind
The early morning sun
shining through
Any last wishes?
I wish to spend
a season in hell,
where all
the amusing people are.
Hail Satan!
I see your face in every...
RENFIELD:
Yes, I know this looks extreme,
and maybe a little fun,
but to our defense,
there is so much
folklore out there about
how to actually k*ll a vampire,
it gets confusing.
You know, I've personally
seen him come back
from some crazy sh*t,
so why not try everything?
You know, I'm not even
100% sure this will k*ll him,
but I do know it will take him
a long, long time
to come back from.
You're my yesterday,
tomorrow and today.
(song ends)
REBECCA:
You were right.
Success is the best revenge.
Touch, ma chrie.
Au revoir, bitch.
Hey. You okay?
Renfield said
you guys gave me some...
(chuckling):
Dracula blood?
Oh, no, no.
It's a euphemism for, uh...
it's an... it's an...
like, an herbal remedy.
Okay. So, do you think
they carry it at GNC?
Yeah. Yeah, I th-think so.
(laughs)
I love you, Kate.
So...
There's only one thing
left to do.
You know...
I've got to pay
for what I've done.
I don't want you to go somewhere
just to punish yourself.
You belong out in the world.
People have a lot to learn
from a person like you.
Like what?
It's never too late
to be a hero.
Hmm.
RENFIELD: I was lost
in a world of darkness
for a very long time,
but with all of your help,
I, um...
I found a way out.
Without you, I would never
have learned that...
...I could save myself.
And thank you
for using Dracula blood
to bring us all back to life.
-(light laughter, murmuring)
-You know, if it...
if it wasn't for you,
uh, none of us
would have learned
what it's like
to come back
from the other side,
having seen things
that you can't unsee.
And know things
that you can't unknow.
(chuckles) Okay.
Fantastic meeting today, guys.
-Truly.
-(others murmuring)
("I'm Free" by The Soup Dragons
playing)
I hope he's okay.
-He'll be all right.
-Hmm.
RENFIELD: My name is
Robert Montague Renfield,
and I'm a codependent.
But I no longer feel
like a victim,
because I've finally
faced my demons.
You might also say
I chopped my demons up
into tiny little pieces,
encased them in concrete
and flushed them down the drain.
And if I can find the power
to do that,
then maybe everyone can.
(chuckles)
Metaphorically speaking.
I'm free to do what I want
Any old time
I said I'm free
to do what I want
Any old time
I say love me, hold me
Love me, hold me
'Cause I'm free
-I say love me
-Love me forever
-Hold me
-And love will never die
Love me, hold me
'Cause I'm free
Do you hear
what the man say?
These are the words me hear
from my granddaddy, come
These are the words
me hear from my granddaddy
He would say nothing
in this world
Like when a man know he free
Free from the lockup,
me say free from the debt
Free like a butterfly,
free like a bee
These are the words
me hear from my granddaddy
Said it's nice to be free,
nice to be free
Free from the lockup,
me say free from the debt
Don't be afraid
of your freedom
'Cause I'm free
to do what I want
Any old time
I'm a new creation
'Cause I'm free
To do what I want
Any old time
Don't be afraid
of your freedom
I said I'm free
to do what I want
To be what I want
Any old time
I said I'm free
to be who I choose
To get my booze
Any old time
'Cause I'm free
To do what I want
Any old time
I'm free
'Cause I'm free
To do what I want
Any old time
I'm free
'Cause I'm free
to do what I want
Any old time
I'm free
'Cause I'm free.
(song ends)
Renfield (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3