♪ (STRING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
'Kay, hold on. (SINGSONGS) Hold on.
Okay.
Nice.
Oh, Rasmussen? Rasmussen.
(GIGGLES) Hi. Hey, Tom.
Hi.
- I... Just put it there.
- Put this here? Okay.
So, it's election eve,
and guess what Father
Sexmas has brought you.
- Why, hot, fresh polling.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Jimenez up by four.
Jesus. How're you gonna play?
I guess, I don't know...
amplify to gin up our maniacs,
or deny, sh*t on, and bury, I guess.
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
- Matsson.
- What does he want?
Oh, you know.
He thinks the Living
Plus stock bump is fading,
and he wants to know what
my brothers have cooking.
- Is he coming?
- To the party? No.
- Ow.
- No, he doesn't wanna
"swim around my dad's..." (LAUGHS)
"... bullshit, pre-election,
brain-dead, AOL-era,
legacy media, putrid,
stuffed-mushroom fuckfest."
Ooh. And I thought it was gonna be fun.
- Mm.
- (CHUCKLES)
So, this is just a little party prezzie
for being such a hot piece of ass...
- Mm. Thank you.
- ... and such a foxy little minx.
And, you know, just to
say that I'm really glad
that we're hosting this party together.
- Yeah.
- You know, and we can say to people that we...
had a little break and
then we're back. You know?
- Yeah, I like that.
- TOM WAMBSGANS: Yeah.
- What?
- Yeah. Uh-huh. (CHUCKLES)
Uh, a... a scorpion?
TOM: Mm.
- Because?
- 'Cause it's...
it's funny. (LAUGHS)
Because... why?
'Cause it's... it's like... it's a joke.
- Who's the scorpion?
- (CHUCKLES) Um. You, I guess.
But it's just silly,
honey. It's like, you know,
I love you, but you
k*ll me, and I k*ll you.
- And you... You know?
- Oh! (STAMMERS)
Okay. Yeah, right.
I... No. Yeah. I get it.
- Huh! I like it.
- Good.
- Well, you gotta get to work. You know?
- Yeah.
You gotta go contribute
to the great toxification.
TOM: Gotta do my part.
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
KENDALL ROY: Hey.
- RAVA ROY: Hey.
- KENDALL: Hey.
Are you okay?
- How... how's everyone doing?
- No, I'm fine. We're all fine.
And, you know, this is fine,
but if it's legal stuff,
I really need to keep my
head out of that right now.
- No... I... Okay.
- I'd rather our people just...
- lawyers, and...
- No, I'll just keep this brief.
It's, um...
Sophie doesn't want to go to school.
She is... freaked out
about the election.
So... What do you mean?
What... Is she okay?
- What... what is it? What?
- RAVA: She... she's okay.
It's just... (GROANS) All right.
So, on the... the weekend, this weekend,
someone kind of...
she felt...
pushed by her a little on the street.
But there was a comment that
she felt came from the...
It was... All right, the
guy had on a Ravenhead shirt.
Uh, there was a quote on the shirt,
and, yeah...
She felt it was racially
tinged, and she's been upset.
- What did they say?
- I don't know.
And now at school, uh,
some kids have started
this whole anti-ATN thing,
which is actually very supportive,
but, you know, it's... (SIGHS)
- ... complex for her.
- Who was with her?
Like, why... Why was
she out on the street?
- Sixth near MOMA?
- Did you just ask me why she was on the street?
Yeah, I mean, someone... You're
telling me someone pushed our daughter,
- or whatever.
- Pushed by her.
- She was with her friends.
- Like, where were you?
- Where... Where was I?
- KENDALL: Yeah.
- Are you f*cking serious?
- I'm not blaming you. I'm just...
I'm trying to get all the information
- before I make a decision on our course of action.
- You need to make a decision
- if you're gonna call your dau...
- So, yeah. Where were you?
I was raising our daughter
while you were f*cking running
- a r*cist news organization.
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Great. f*ck you! Come on.
- Oh, f*ck me?
- Come on.
- How f*cking dare you interrogate me
- and the way I parent?
- Obviously, I feel bad.
- Obviously, I will do anything to protect her.
- Okay, you know what?
- Anything!
- Uh-huh. Okay. I'm gonna just...
And, uh, we'll cope.
And, I don't know, just maybe
call your f*cking daughter.
Well, obviously. Jesus, Rava. Jesus!
What kind of parent do you think I am?
You know, you have no
idea the things I'm doing.
The things I'm working on.
Six continents.
Okay? I'm breaking my
back, and it's all for them.
- (RAVA LAUGHS)
- Okay? And to make the world safe.
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
Yeah, great. Dig on that.
Dig to heck on that.
Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.
Yeah, no. We... we love the deal.
We just have to make
sure we know everything
on Matsson and GoJo. I
mean, there's due diligence,
but this is, you know, undue diligence.
Extra diligence. Okay?
Okay, great. And get
that dirt on Matsson.
Anything could be useful.
Apparently insignificant details
could be very useful to me.
To us. What? No...
You're a f*cking deputy rat-fucker.
Don't object to being
a rat-fucker, Tomas.
It's unbecoming.
- How you doin'?
- Hey, honey.
Bise?
- Good to see you.
- CONNOR ROY: Good to see you.
- Hi.
- CONNOR: Hi.
SHIV ROY: Hey, how you doing?
- Good.
- CONNOR: Yeah.
I just came from seeing Pop.
Wow. Again?
Oh, any change?
Looking good.
Woke up on the right side
of the coffin today, boy.
(SHIV LAUGHS WEAKLY)
What? I like to go. You should go.
Yeah? And do what? Sit there
like I'm feeding the ducks?
Can I? Thank you for ignoring me.
The weird thing, honestly, is...
how much he's not there.
I find that consoling.
SHIV: Well, here he is.
- Kendall Plus.
- Hey, hey. Morning. Morning. Sorry I'm late.
- CONNOR: Hey.
- The man who's gonna lead us to eternal life.
Waystar Jesus.
(ALL LAUGH)
You seen the polling today?
- ROMAN ROY: Okay. That's why you're all perky.
- SHIV: Uh-huh.
Very exciting. I'm sure your
Red Guards are all, you know,
ready to come round up
the thought criminals
and turn police stations
into cuddle puddles.
The exciting part isn't the top line.
In Alaska, I'm exploding.
Four, five, six percent.
Right. Guys, can we do this?
Um. I just... I have
a lot going on today.
- SHIV: Sure.
- Very well.
I hereby convene this
funeral management committee.
I've sent the materials, and I assume
you've familiarized yourselves,
because I'm concerned.
We're saying yes to all Marcia's wishes,
then all your ideas,
Pop's requirements...
Danger the funeral could turn
into a three-day grief-a-thon.
- Yeah. Just f*ck Marcia.
- Seconded.
- SHIV: Great.
- Carried.
CONNOR: Nevertheless, we
really want a tight .
And the central question
is, who's gonna speak?
Oh, what? In front of the most
powerful political, cultural,
business interests in the world?
I mean, I... I'm... I'm easy.
Right? I can speak about Dad.
Oh, what? Your usual
malign influence material?
- Ow! I could do it.
- ROMAN: Uh-huh.
I think if any one of us
actually wants to do it,
do the big number,
then we should just say,
because probably no one minds, right?
- ROMAN: Hmm.
- SHIV: No?
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
- Yeah.
Oh! Okay.
Um. Will you have a think?
Uh, I'm jumping on
the digital battle bus.
Uh, tailgate party,
we nail it down, yeah?
- Okay. Bye-bye.
- SHIV: Sure.
- All right, good luck.
- ROMAN: Bye.
(INHALES DEEPLY) Right. Um...
So, Shiv, on the...
One thing from us on the tailgate.
We were actually wondering
about us, politically, inviting Nate.
Nate?
- KENDALL: Nate.
- Sofrelli?
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- Uh... Okay.
Tom and I kinda had hoped that... Why?
Uh, because it went so well in L.A.
You know, hats off to
the greatest showman here.
And apologies on the old wibble-wobble,
and all due congratulations, but...
Okay. So, you...
- wanna make sure we have a plan B...
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
... in case we can't chase
Matsson out of town on price.
Exactly. And we think that's regulatory.
We go hard regulatory.
DOJ, FTC, FCC, EU.
- Uh-huh.
- ROMAN: No?
I mean, I think they might just stop it.
- SHIV: Yeah.
- But even just the thr*at
creates a ton more risk for Matsson.
Kicks the deal down the line, right?
And Nate? He's... Right?
He's across competition,
and he's tight with the
Jimenez folks on that. So...
Could we get him down so we can sell it
on a real level without
lobbyists and all the...
Due process?
- KENDALL: That stuff.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure, fine.
- Good.
- SHIV: Fine.
- Okay.
- All right, see you tonight.
- See you tonight.
Ah! b*at me to it. (SIGHS) Oy!
- (SIGHS)
- Good, yeah?
Yeah, good, I think so. Yeah. What else?
Uh, how you feeling about the, you know,
blowback from, uh, you know,
the firings, the bloodlust.
- You wanna throw Hugo at that?
- f*ck it. Let's own it.
Hey. Hey, Lukas. Yeah, listen.
Uh, so, they're gonna go regulatory.
Yeah. So you need to be there tonight.
Well, no. It'll be easy.
Just, my dad invited you. So...
Yes. There's gonna be, what,
forty thought leaders, pols,
officials who will actually decide this,
and half of them are
gonna be there. Okay?
So I am telling you that
you need to be there too.
To counter.
♪ (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
_
(YAWNS)
_
Okay.
So, uh, hey, um.
There's no easy way of... of doing this.
I've done this a couple
of times this week,
and sometimes, honestly,
it just makes me cry.
Um. But I wanted to offer
my heartfelt appreciation to you all.
And now, I'm gonna hand over
to my colleague, Gregory Hirsch,
who has more information.
Thank you, sir. (CLEARS
THROAT) Good morning.
"Good morning. Uh,
I'm here to inform you
that Waystar Royco has
been looking at a range
of different options in order
to drastically reduce costs,
and a very difficult decision
to restructure the ATN
operation internationally
has been taken in order to protect
the future of the business.
This action was only taken
after seriously considering
all available options.
But if you're on this
call, this is confirmation
that you are part of the unlucky group
who are having their contract terminated
with immediate effect
on the grounds of staffing redundancy.
And today is your final
day of employment."
Uh...
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,
"Final day of employment."
Um, "Going forward, we intend to operate
Waystar Royco international
news gathering operations
utilizing third-party
contract-based arrangements."
Uh...
I'm seeing some confusion
in the chat. Um...
Bu... But, yes. Uh, if
I have been too wordy,
yes, we are letting all of you go.
"Obviously, I can't take
questions on this call,
but this is a very sad day.
And I thank you for your time today
and your service to Waystar Royco."
Goodbye.
Nice. Done.
♪ (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
TOM: So, this German
one with this label,
let's push this, okay? Say
it's a light, fruity red.
Uh, don't say it's biodynamic
and don't say it's German.
Just say it's a light, fruity red.
And, yes, a little
bit of fizz is normal.
It's sophisticated. Okay?
- Hey.
- Hey.
It's okay. What's
going on? Wakey, wakey.
I'm just... I'm, you know.
I'm fine. I'm tired, you know.
- Election eve, it's a lot.
- Yeah.
And turns out, I'm pre-tired.
I'm tired about thinking
how tired I'm gonna be.
Because someone isn't letting someone
- get a lot of sleep.
- Oh. Well, forgive me.
Uh, so, we got a couple of extra names
- for the guest list.
- Right.
- Matsson is in fact coming now.
- Ooh! Because?
Because Dumb and Dumber
are trying to spook the deal
and wanna try doing
regulatory-sh*t angle,
and he's gonna come
and head that off. So...
Okay. Well, good. That's
good for me, right?
- I mean, my chance to dance.
- Yeah.
I can secure my spot...
- Yeah, sure.
- ... post-Roy-pocalypse.
- SHIV: Mm-hmm.
- Right?
Uh, also, to push that agenda...
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, they wanted to invite,
and I didn't feel like I
had a tactical way to say no.
Um, they want to invite Nate.
Uh...
'Cause he's key on tech and trade
for Gil and Jimenez.
I'm sorry, I...
It's not...
And I am genuinely sorry. Really.
- Sure. Nate.
- Yeah.
It'll be good to see...
Nate. What do I care?
- Uh-huh. Okay.
- It's okay.
- SHIV: Thanks, honey.
- Okay.
♪ (DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS)
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
Okay. You guys ready to spread
some regulatory anxieties?
Yeah, sure, spread those surveillance
capitalism heebie-jeebies.
Yeah? Just don't let me get stuck
- with the Journal op-ed ogres.
- Come on.
They're not all crypto-fascists
and right-wing nut jobs.
We also have some venture capital Dems
and, uh, centrist ghouls.
Dad's ideological range was wide.
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.
- Should we hit it?
- Yeah, let's hit it.
- Let's hit it.
- Yeah, all right.
Hittin' it, hit it. Hey, what's up?
Not your guy's poll
numbers. Ha! Yuk, yuk, yuk.
GREG HIRSCH: You're a
little tired right now?
TOM: Oh, maybe a little. Oh, man.
- Maybe drink a coffee?
- If I drink a coffee,
then I won't be able to sleep later.
Think, Greg.
So, uh, anyway, listen.
Matsson is coming.
So that is gonna be my focus.
And you, if... Unless you
are truly aligning yourself
to the dumpster brothers,
you might wanna sweeten that b*at, too.
- No, yeah. Yeah. I'd love to feather that bed.
- Yeah.
Um. But... but Matsson hates me.
So I think I'm team Ken-Ro.
Up to you, Greg.
- Okay, I'm gonna mingle.
- Yeah, mingle up.
ROMAN: Hey, great. Thanks.
(HUMMING)
KENDALL: Okay. Okay.
Looks like, uh, Shiv's hitting Valerie.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- Have you seen Nate?
Uh... Yeah, no. But, uh,
Mencken's team called.
Okay, because the polling?
Yeah, well, their internals
are even worse. So...
And they want what? ATN to go full
"we're coming to give
your g*ns hormone therapy,
all your g*ns are gonna be ladies"?
Yeah, well, three or four
states where Connor's one percent
are throwing things?
Yeah. It could be pivotal.
And, you know, if he were to drop out,
most of the support would go to them.
But his team is not... It's just...
They're just refusing
contact, apparently.
So they've asked if I can
convince him to drop out.
I mean... I don't know.
- f*ck that guy, right?
- Mencken?
I think... yeah. Victory
vans. Those O'Malley fucks.
I think f*ck him.
I guess. I mean, it's not bad
for us to be tight with him
in case things swing his way, right?
Yeah, fine. I see you. All
right. I'll hit the, uh...
I'll hit the libtards.
You go help the Nazis.
Nazis, you got it.
TOM: Wait. Excuse me. Thank you.
- Hey.
- NATE SOFRELLI: Hey, Tom.
- Hello, Nathaniel.
- Tom.
Appreciate the invite.
Well, I've missed you.
- Won't be long. A lot going on, obviously.
- Mm-hmm.
Won't drink too much of your wine.
No, don't you worry. You
gobble my gravadlax, pal.
There's plenty more
where that came from.
It's light and fruity.
And it's the kind of wine
that separates the connoisseurs
from the weekend Malbec morons.
LEN: Keep away from this man, Nate.
- TOM: Keep away from you.
- Back.
- Back, foul news demon.
- TOM: No, you. You're the foul demon.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- Nice to see you, Len. Good one.
f*ckin' assh*le.
- Hey.
- So sorry to interrupt.
Can I grab him for a second?
- WILLA FERREYRA: Yeah.
- Okay.
- What's up?
- Um, yeah. Just, uh...
You know... yuk yuk. Kind
of a... a biggie, actually.
And a bit last-minute.
But Mencken's team called,
and they wanted to know if
you might be willing to...
you know, drop out?
- Of the election?
- Yes, of the election.
You are aware that the
polls open in ten hours?
Yes, and it might be too late
to physically remove your
name from the ballots,
but if you were to
release a statement...
You know, divert the Conhead
stream to the Mencken river?
And after all the blood
and treasure I've expended,
why on Earth would I want to do that?
They said, "For the
good of the Republic."
- (LAUGHS) Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
So, no? No.
Well then, I have been authorized
to make a follow-up offer, which is,
how familiar are you with Mogadishu?
- Mogadishu?
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- In Somalia?
- Because they are
very impressed with your talents,
and they think that you'd be a good fit
for an ambassadorial appointment.
Little bit car-bomby. Hey, tell him UN.
- ROMAN: Okay.
- That's more my vibration, yeah?
- All right.
- Yeah?
- All right. I'll... I'll... I'll report back.
- Okay.
- All right. Thanks.
- Thank you.
Hey. How you doin'? Good to see you.
Hey! So, she showed. That's good.
Guess you smoothed it
over, right, General Franco?
No. No, she's incredibly angry.
- (GLASS CLINKING)
- TOM: Okay, everybody.
Everybody. Welcome one and all.
- Ken, take it away.
- KENDALL: Okay, thanks, Tom.
Thanks, Tom. Thank you.
Thank you. Okay, okay. Okay.
Welcome, everybody. Welcome! Welcome!
- (GUESTS CHEERING)
- Welcome. All right.
Who we got here? Who we
got here? Carly Flight.
(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)
- KENDALL: Oh, sh*t.
- All right, okay.
The Pod Goddess. Everybody
watch out for her.
- (GUESTS CHUCKLING)
- Careful what you say.
CARLY FLIGHT: That's right.
Yeah. Careful what you say.
Larry, Mary. Lovely.
Lovely to see you guys.
Uh, who else is here? Who's here? Len.
Len giveth and Len taketh away.
- (GUESTS LAUGHING)
- KENDALL: Watch out for Len.
Uh, my guy, Nate Sofrelli,
saw the polls this morning
- and moonwalked here.
- (GUESTS CHUCKLE)
KENDALL: Our best to Gil and Jimenez.
Everybody's here. It's
great to see you all.
Um... Yeah, you know, it's...
It's our... It's our
first, uh, tailgate party
without the big guy. Yeah.
But, uh, we're still gonna live it up.
As always, kettle corn, over there,
will be shipped to whoever is closest
to tomorrow's electoral count.
- (GUESTS LAUGHING)
- And, uh...
Yeah, this is a tough one.
But, uh, we're all gonna stay sane,
and we're all gonna stay friends. Yeah?
Uh, thanks to my sis for hosting.
- (GUESTS CHEERING)
- KENDALL: Thank you, sis.
Of course.
But, yeah. You know,
we... we... we, uh...
We didn't know what to do this year.
Um... You know...
We watch history. We make history,
and then one day, we become it.
So, can I just... I'd
like to ask you all
for a moment of silence,
if we could, in memory.
(GUESTS FALL SILENT)
(DOOR OPENS)
(OSKAR GUDJOHNSEN
TALKING LOUDLY IN SWEDISH)
(GUESTS MURMURING)
(SHUSHES)
Thank you. Thank you, y'all.
Sorry.
Uh. It's okay. Hey, man.
So, VIP in the house.
Mr. Matsson, how are you? Welcome.
Thank you. Thank you,
everyone. Thank you.
You know, you... You,
uh... You don't get
my sister's triplex in the
deal, you know. Don't get greedy.
Well, you know. Hey. We
haven't closed yet. So...
- We'll see. We'll see what happens.
- Nice. Nice. Anyway.
Welcome. Uh, uh. You know, my
dad... my dad loved you all.
We love you all. So, uh,
let's... let's have some fun.
Let the games begin.
- (GUESTS CHEERING)
- Salud! Cheers. Cheers.
All right.
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Okay. What the f*ck is he doing here?
Uh... Yeah, I don't know.
Seriously, it's like, the f*ck?
- Did you... What's...
- KENDALL: He's gonna blow up our spot.
Yeah, yeah. So, apparently,
um, Dad invited him, actually.
And he emailed a yes, like,
four minutes before walking in.
- Four?
- ROMAN: Yeah.
- Do we just throw him out, then?
- I would love that. No.
But I don't think we can afford to
be seen treating him as the enemy.
- Uh-huh.
- I think we hang tough. Yeah?
Just stick to the plan.
Regulatory. You know?
These assholes in here? Our assholes.
- Yeah.
- ROMAN: Yeah. But what's his f*cking game?
Like is he going for freak-out?
Or is he flicking the same beans as us?
Well, how do you wanna play?
Honestly, like, he, like...
There's too much peanut butter
between us. Can you stick close?
Yeah, sure.
KENDALL: I think just guide him away
from the high-value targets,
refill his glass, run him in circles,
tell people he's Looney
Tunes behind his back.
- SHIV: Oh, easy.
- KENDALL: Keep him from the big wigs.
So, Operation, just
like, "Nuke the Luke."
- KENDALL: Yeah.
- All right. I can do that.
- KENDALL: Okay.
- Let's do it.
Let's smash that Swede.
TOM: I'm tired. It's a lot,
you know, the pre-election prep.
- You know?
- LUKAS MATSSON: Oh, right.
- Yeah. I bet, I bet, I bet.
- Yeah. It's a lot.
Hey, so are you, uh...
In the company, are you hands-on
or more of an overview guy?
Um, I... (CHUCKLES) Interesting.
I... I guess... Well,
let me ask you this.
What would you value more highly?
- Really? No.
- (CHUCKLES)
Because I like to think
that I can do both.
You know, I get my hands
dirty and clean noggin,
and, you know, multi-tasker.
Okay. You're kissing my ass.
- No! I'm not kissing your ass, Lukas.
- No? (LAUGHS)
- You're too smart. You'd spot it a mile off.
- Yeah.
- Hey!
- Hey.
I'm about to take a sh*t
in your husband's mouth,
and I'm pretty sure he's gonna tell me
- it tastes like coconut.
- TOM: No, no. I'm not. I'm not.
- (SHIV LAUGHS)
- No, but seriously,
it's a really, really nice place.
- TOM: Thank you.
- Thanks.
Uh. who'll get to
keep it in the divorce?
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
- (GREG LAUGHS LOUDLY)
- GREG: Yeah.
- Okay, should we, uh...
- Yeah.
- ... hit up some people?
- TOM: Yeah. Good to see you.
- Talk to you later.
- TOM: All right.
- Yeah.
- GREG: It's good to see you.
- Yeah, yeah. You too, Gary.
Uh, yeah. So, you need to hit
Nate, Carly, uh, Valerie first.
- But I need to keep an eye out for my brothers...
- Yeah.
... and, uh, you just need...
You've done this before,
so just don't, um...
- You know, don't...
- Don't? What?
- SHIV: If you could...
- Don't scream "people are data"
and stick my d*ck in the guac?
- Yeah, sure. Don't. Yeah.
- Don't do that.
Yeah, you're about to purchase one
of the most prized cultural assets
and political communication
channels in America,
and you need to prepare the
ground because otherwise,
your many f*cking
enemies will portray you
as some jerk-off coder
from Gothenburg. Okay?
I am a jerk-off coder from Gothenburg.
- SHIV: Well...
- Right? Right, Ebba?
- You remember Ebba?
- Hi! Yeah.
Good to see you again. How are you?
You too. Oh, I'm, you know, who cares?
"Who cares?" Yeah. Charming.
Okay. Oh, uh, well,
not that you need to do
anything about this now,
but you should fire your
lobbyists. Just so you know.
You need rainmakers and
not weather forecasters.
Sure. It... it's just not
really my arena. I'm sorry.
It's more Andreas...
You don't have to apologize, Ebba.
It's... It's just information
we're sharing. That's all.
It's, um, social anxiety.
The only PR person in the world
who hates talking to people.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
I don't love parties, but I'm good.
- (SHIV LAUGHS)
- Whereas I love them. I do.
- Oh! Great.
- Skål.
Yeah. So, I have a number two
who's moon-beamed on edibles,
and a communication officer
who's terrified of communicating.
Oh. Brilliant.
So, Mogadishu is a no-go.
- Of course.
- It's a death sentence.
Frankly, uh, we're insulted.
- ROMAN: Oh. Are you?
- But I would like
to roll through all the options.
So, as a brother, what's the top option?
Okay, let me... Let me
have a little a look.
I would love to get to Europe.
Can I creep up through the underbelly?
Come up through the Balkans?
A couple of senior departures,
Berlin by Christmas?
They may be willing to
talk Slovenia or Slovakia.
Mm-hmm?
Mm, yeah, I think I'm a no on the Slos.
What about South Korea? Hmm?
South Korea. Top ten GDP,
major geopolitical player.
I feel like that would be tough.
- North Korea?
- Oh, easy, my liege.
You don't know. Nobody
knows. That's the point.
I could open it up like Nixon did China.
Con, they're not gonna put
you anywhere with nukes.
Well, that's insulting.
I don't think I wanna go
anywhere that doesn't have nukes.
All right. Well, how do you like Oman?
- Oman?
- ROMAN: Yeah.
Poor man's Saudi Arabia
or rich man's Yemen?
Hmm. I have to check.
See what my wo-man thinks about O-man.
- (LAUGHS)
- Nice.
- Yup, good.
- All right, good.
Well, I... I guess,
essentially, I'm a self-made guy
who came up with a really
cool product that people love.
I send you my . a
month. I'm no hater.
- 'Preciate it.
- But Daniel is troubled by out-of-control algos.
- He is worried that you...
- Yeah.
... bleep-boop guys are gonna
data-mine us all to death.
LUKAS: Yeah, no, no.
I... I totally get that.
And, uh, in terms of all this,
someone's gonna pick
up the assets, right?
So... who's that gonna be?
Is it gonna be, and no offense,
Shiv, uh, but the failsons?
Really? Is that a good option?
They will do what he did,
but they will do it stupider
and uglier, and less amenable.
And, surprisingly,
Lukas is actually pretty amenable.
- Amenable?
- Yes.
What about leadership at ATN?
Well, I would definitely make
some major leadership changes
- at the top of ATN. Yes.
- NATE: Really?
Oh...
Oh, Tom.
I can't wiggle my way in there.
He's just busy slobbering
up Nate with Shiv.
They're just talking, Greg.
Uh, can you... Can you
push a few more of these?
Um, and... No, actually, put them away
so we create a kind of scarcity thing?
- Hey, man.
- Hey, man. Brother.
Been a minute. Listen, uh...
I know we haven't had a chance to talk.
I'm sorry, man.
- Yeah.
- He was, um...
What can I say? Jesus. I can't imagine.
Yeah, it's tough, but, uh,
you know, life keeps a-rollin', right?
But you, man.
You throwin' off some kingmaker vibes.
f*ck, yeah. How's Daniel?
- Can I sh**t you names? Uh...
- Mm.
You know, you can make a decent, uh...
You can make a decent cabinet
for my f*cking poker night.
Sure, yeah, yeah. The
activists would love that.
Look, dude, I'm just gonna
give you my rap straight.
- Okay? Is that okay?
- Uh...
I think we could be
really good for you guys.
Like, I'm talking major
reset of the dialogue,
which I am personally invested in.
But that only happens
if this deal goes away.
Hm. Uh-huh.
Yeah, you know, board-wise,
shareholder-wise,
we can't come out
publicly. But the deal,
you should know the deal
is headed to the woodshed.
GoJo has had incredible growth.
He's a charismatic figure,
but he's gonna get wrung out.
And, you know, there is
really legitimate concern here.
DOJ or FTC balking
at the sports overlap?
- The FCC over foreign ownership of broadcast?
- Uh-oh. He's pitching me.
KENDALL: No, I'm s... I'm telling you.
I think maybe CFIUS might have
a word to say about Matsson's,
you know, extreme political positions
and f*cking Holocaust jokes.
Sure. So, uh, so what?
So, you guys come out for
regulation pretty soon,
and we give you a better ride
in the first hundred days.
Man, I forgot how eager you
were to get laid at a party.
Let me check in.
Cool. All right. Love it.
Would love to get laid.
SHIV: Could we have the room?
So, you're doing great.
Yeah, eminently plausible.
- Nice wordings.
- LUKAS: Yeah? Really?
- Yeah, yeah. You're doing good. Yeah.
- All right. Nice, nice.
Nate, I think, really
liked talking to you.
And Carly loved you.
- So, yeah.
- Oh, cool, cool.
I wasn't sure, 'cause I don't
always read people great. So...
SHIV: Yeah, no, it's good. You're good.
Yeah, you've hit the A-team,
and so now, I think we should
build your profile with the...
the op-ed narcissists
and the Beltway psychos.
All right. Bang, bang, bang!
- Yeah, sure. Yeah.
- I like this. I like this.
You know, I thought these
people would be very complicated,
but it's... they're not.
It's basically just,
like, money and gossip.
- That's it.
- Oh, yeah. No, that's all it is.
Just money and gossip.
That's everything.
All right. Well, take me
down to the paradise city!
- Let's do this!
- Great! Well. Mm.
Uh... At this point,
I think I would like
to ask the question,
not that I don't love heaving you
around like a great lump of pine
and making you shine. Uh...
But what have you done for me lately?
Okay, well, uh...
What do you want?
I... I really like talking to you.
So, you... you can have...
You can have whatever you want.
Okay, so this situation's
not without risk for me.
So if I was to move to actively engage
in assisting you with the acquisition,
then I would need to know
that it leads to a very,
very, very significant role.
- Three verys. Wow.
- Yeah.
- LUKAS: Okay. Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
Carry on.
So, I know the company.
I know everything.
I know my way around. I'm collaborative.
I have the name. I am...
I'm hot sh*t and I'm ready to go. Okay?
Okay, um...
- Can I think?
- No.
(LAUGHS) All right. Uh...
Okay, uh... (CHUCKLES)
Let's... I would hate to lose you.
So... so let's, um...
Why... why don't we
circle back in a bit?
- Okay? Okay. - Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, sure. Of course.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You are doing good out there, you know?
- LUKAS: All right.
- You're like a self-teaching AI.
I'm just gonna take five,
and then I'll be back
with the dipshits and limpdicks.
SHIV: Yeah, sure.
Hey, hey. Hey, Bony Moronie.
- GREG: What's up?
- Can you lend a hand?
- Uh...
- Matsson.
Can you, like, look after him?
Uh, yeah. I... I guess he occasionally
has expressed a distaste,
uh, in the past, for...
my particular flavor of me.
- Just find him a blunt. Or something stronger.
- GREG: Yeah?
Point his d*ck in the direction
of some fissile material. Yeah?
- Yeah. Okay.
- You got it.
I can try.
So, Tom, are you going to
imperil democracy tomorrow?
(LAUGHS) Yeah. "You against the wall.
You against the wall.
You're a nice guy. You can
live. Bang, bang, bang, bang!"
- Oh, yeah. Come on, please.
- That's what I'll do.
I can assure you Mr. Mild
here is a one-pepper menu item.
Thank you, dear.
SCOTT SAILER: And plans
after the deal goes through?
I hear you may be headed elsewhere.
Oh, well, you know,
I've always got options.
Why? Wh... what did you hear?
- Well, maybe I heard wrong.
- TOM: Uh-huh.
- Uh... Okay, okay. Um...
- Sorry. Excuse me, Scott.
That is some top-shelf
rat-f*cking there.
- Yeah, bye-bye. Yeah, yeah.
- Something juicy?
The deep dive on Matsson.
It's pretty juicy.
Apparently, he's been
creeping on Ebba, his comms.
Sending her some weird sh*t.
Blood, bits of hair.
- Perhaps some other things.
- Num, num, num.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Nate. Hey, Nate.
- ROMAN: You want in on this?
- You're gonna want in on this.
ROMAN: Yeah, you wanna hear something
nasty about someone terrible?
- KENDALL: Matsson sh*t.
- Um, sure.
- Um, I gotta go.
- You're going?
- Yeah.
- Okay, but we're good
on the situation?
Daniel's people aren't too comfortable
with me rubbing shoulders with you.
And, uh, yeah, Coop...
likes to yap and, uh...
Um, yeah. Looks a little cozy. So...
- Apologies.
- KENDALL: Okay, but...
But, you know, I think
there is something here.
These are legitimate concerns.
I mean, just tell Daniel. I mean...
we can make primetime safe for you.
- I'm gonna be straight with you.
- All we need is one sentence
- signaling to the markets...
- I don't feel comfortable with
the tenor of this conversation.
You don't feel comfortable with
the tenor of this conversation?
Don't play hall monitor with me, bro.
Right? I know you.
- I know who you are, my friend.
- Ken.
I don't know what you
think this is. I'm not Gil.
You're not Logan. That's a good thing.
I'll see ya.
And so, where would we
live, exactly, in Oman?
In Muscat, I should
think. In a compound.
Okay, but would it be above ground?
Of course, above ground, Willa.
- (SIGHS)
- "Pearl of Arabia."
- Huh?
- Okay.
"The Sultan's word has
the force of the law."
- Mm-hmm.
- Great.
At the airport, we'd walk right through.
(QUIETLY) Okay.
- And this is for Mencken?
- Mm-hmm.
You know, all my family
and friends hate Mencken.
Diplomatic plates.
You can park anywhere.
You can basically drive on the
sidewalk. The police can't touch you.
Running people over
is not a selling point.
(BOTH SPEAKING SWEDISH)
- (LAUGHS)
- (LUKAS SPEAKS SWEDISH)
(GROANS) f*cking Greg.
- Hey. My Swedish friends.
- Hey. Yeah.
- (LAUGHS)
- Nice to see you.
- Yo!
- LUKAS: Ja!
- (SPITS)
- (GROANS)
- f*cking hanger-on.
- LUKAS: Hey!
You f*cking dingleberry.
Dude, I'm on a charm offensive here.
Can you be kind?
Would you like to join us?
Would you like to f*ck off?
LUKAS: My God!
Seriously, Oskar. I'm gonna fire you.
(LAUGHS)
Okay, Ebba. Can you fire him, please?
(CHUCKLES) Can you?
Oh, I'm sorry. Is this boring you?
I've seen him cut your
balls a hundred times.
Yeah, it's a little bit boring.
Look at him! Sadistic face, he loves it.
- I do!
- He loves being fired.
I would... I would like
to fire Ebba, though.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
But I can't because she's, uh,
created and fostered this, uh, situation
in which I find it very difficult
to do what I want.
I'm not saying you've
done it on purpose,
but it is quite interesting
that you have sort of tenure
'cause we've mingled.
- Lukas.
- Ebba.
I'm not sure if you're
kidding but, uh...
I could help.
- I'd fire her if you want.
- Yeah?
Yeah. I'd fire her right now.
I've got some recent
experience in this, uh, arena.
- Would you do that for me?
- Instantly. Sure.
It's on. Guys.
(SPEAKS SWEDISH)
(IN ENGLISH) Guys, gather 'round.
This guy is about to
fire my senior comms.
- GREG: Uh... No hard feelings.
- The jokes are funny.
The jokes are very funny.
(OSKAR LAUGHS)
- Ebba! Ebba!
- OSKAR: Wow!
LUKAS: Come on!
EBBA: You know what, Lukas?
I wish you would fire me.
- LUKAS: Ebba!
- GREG: Ebba!
- Ebba!
- Ebba!
GREG: It's not the attitude
of the employee that
we want at our company.
You okay?
- Hi.
- We... we... We just... We saw...
You know, we just wanted to make sure...
Check in, make sure you're
okay, like, on a human level.
We... We saw..
- Yeah.
- KENDALL: Yeah. Like, are you... You good?
I... I'm... I'm really...
I'm totally fine.
Don't worry about it.
- KENDALL: All right. Well, good. That's good to hear.
- ROMAN: Okay.
- Right?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Totally.
- He seems kind of awful.
We've...
You know, we... we built his whole rep.
He's not even a real coder.
Someone gave him, like, a box of tech,
and he took it to
market, you know? "Bravo."
KENDALL: Yeah. Bravo.
Well, yeah, we just wanted to say
we... we... we sympathize
with all the sh*t.
Well, I'll be out in
February anyway. So...
KENDALL: Really? That's a shame.
And... is that because of the...
sending you of, you know, whatnots?
What? No. It's... I mean...
That's pretty much the least
of his worries right now.
Okay. All right. Because...
- India.
- ROMAN: India. Right.
Uh, and I feel like I know this,
but what are the details here with that?
The details?
Oh, yeah. I'm gonna
give you all the details.
- Sure. (SCOFFS)
- Right.
Can I... Can I get... Can I bum a smoke?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Sure.
So, ATN is saying, "Dems Positive
Polls a Radical Misinformation Plot."
- Ballsy.
- Like to keep things peppery.
I mean, did we mention he's tired? Yeah.
I guess he can't be across everything,
can you, tired boy? Hey?
But you should call Pam on that
'cause, you know, everyone
here is needling me. So...
Then you should tell them
to stop wetting their pants.
SHIV: Okay. Well, I get that, Tom.
But, also, you heard
about the Phoenix thing?
The O'Malleys firebombed
a f*cking campaign office?
- COOP: Scary sh*t.
- SHIV: Exactly.
A firecracker. A pair of firecrackers
- taped together.
- Uh, pardon, pardon.
- Sorry. May we borrow the lady for a second?
- Sure. Oh, sure.
- Thank you, Tom.
- TOM: Don't mind me. I'm getting fired.
- Guess what?
- What? The Phoenix thing?
- It's pretty wild.
- Nope.
Matsson's numbers are funky.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- Uh...
- Sorry, what the f*ck are you talking about?
- Yeah, Ebba spilled.
Screwy metrics in India.
Matsson has been peddling bundles
of South Asian packing peanuts.
What? You mean, like...
Okay. So, significant numbers?
Yeah, yeah, we think so. Big, big.
KENDALL: I f*cking knew
he was a bullshitter.
- I'm telling you, new money.
- (SHIV LAUGHS)
You gotta hold those
fresh bills to the light.
Uh-huh. Wow!
Okay. Wha... f*ck.
- Yeah.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
You said a hundred scalps in three days?
Mm-hmm. Hundred.
LUKAS: Mr. Nephew. That's a...
That's quite a number. I...
I thought you were backwash
at the bottom of the gene pool,
but this is something else.
- You're the real deal.
- Yes, you underestimated me,
- and that's exactly how I wanted it, Lukas.
- LUKAS: I believe I might have.
Mm. Well, how did you do it?
GREG: Uh, I don't know, I just do it.
- Just jackknife right in there.
- LUKAS: Yeah.
- And slit their throat.
- (LUKAS IMITATES SLASHING)
It must feel, afterwards, a bit...
a little bit shitty, right?
Honestly, not really.
HR says I'm the right guy for the job
because it looks like
I care but I don't.
- Not a good person.
- No, I am. I am. It's just...
you gotta do what you gotta do, right?
Do you though?
- Hey, there she is.
- Hey.
- SHIV: Hey.
- Welcome to the kids table!
Can I, uh, talk to you for a second?
LUKAS: Oh, yeah. Is it
time to up the periscopes?
Um, yeah. Sorry to break
up the brains trust.
You sit, Slim Reaper.
A butcher with a smile.
LUKAS: What's, uh...
Why... why... Why are we running?
- Is there a fire or what?
- Uh, yeah, there might be.
So, what's your...
What's happening with your numbers?
- What numbers?
- What numbers? Lukas.
Oh, in... Oh, in India?
Yeah.
Is this Ebba or Oskar?
Huh. Okay.
(CHUCKLES) Um...
Uh, well, we... we...
we... we... We have a...
There's a little issue,
uh, that we're looking into,
with subscriber numbers,
uh, being, uh... being bullshit and...
Well, not bullshit. But, um...
A little... a little bit bullshit.
What does "a little bit bullshit" mean?
Uh... Well, maybe we
discovered a metrics error
that has overstated our subs in India.
Like, by quite a...
Like if there were two
Indias, it would make sense.
- You "maybe" discovered?
- Yeah.
But there isn't two Indias.
There's only one India.
- No. Yeah.
- And it's...
It's just... It's a long
story. But it's, like, you know.
It's an emerging market.
It's... it's all wet cement.
- It's, um...
- So, stock and cash deal,
the board would be well within
their rights to pull out.
You know... You know that,
obviously, so how are you...
What are you... When are you addressing?
- Like, how are you handling?
- I'm not gonna... I don't...
I don't want some forum
monkeys just shorting me.
I don't... I don't like
when people get into me.
It's gonna get out eventually.
Well, or we buy Waystar, and
it gets lost in the deal dazzle.
SEC, DOJ, is this...
- Is this even legal?
- Well, we close quickly,
and then sh*t will get crazy good.
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
By next quarter, the numbers
will be real, probably.
- (LAUGHS WEAKLY) Uh-huh.
- (LUKAS LAUGHS)
Come on. It's... It's kind
of funny though, isn't it?
- Uh...
- All right. I know it's...
I know it's pretty bad.
I know it's pretty bad.
SHIV: Yeah.
You can fix it though, right?
- Oh! Yeah, sure.
- Right?
I'll just build another f*cking India.
Love that. Build another India.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
- Yeah. That's my girl.
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(WHISPERS) f*ck me.
Hey. Hey, Gerri.
Let me guess. (IMITATES
GERRI) "I'll have a martini."
Can we chat about stuff?
I have some thoughts and
might need your advice.
- No.
- No? Just no?
- Gerri? Gerri.
- What?
The thing, that wasn't...
The f*ring-you thing? That wasn't real.
- No?
- No.
No, it was like in the heat of the...
- You know? You know.
- No.
No? Okay. Well, come on. Let's...
Let's have a f*ckin' chat, okay?
I'll, uh... I'll stand
in a cupboard and jerk off
while you explain to me
what the SEC is, okay?
Oh, really? No? Too soon?
What do you want? You
want, like, a sorry?
I got a whole purse full of sorries.
- (MOCKINGLY) I'm sorry.
- I'm out.
- I'm done.
- Bullshit.
Dad fired people all the time.
I was just feeling kind of fire-ish.
Look, I have some requirements
you should know about.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- Several of which
have been officially communicated,
and some that I thought
I should, uh, you know,
- say in person.
- Okay. Ooh!
- Robo-Gerri. Scary.
- GERRI KELLMAN: First of all, I want money.
- Mm-hmm.
- Eye-watering sums.
Hundreds of millions of dollars.
No. Pass.
So, I have retained personal
reputation management.
- Mm-hmm.
- And they will be on the line when Karolina
does her background briefings
off a set of my b*llet points.
Mm-hmm. I will set
off your b*llet points.
And if I ever get a whiff
of anything undermining my narrative
- anytime in the next five years...
- Mm-hmm.
- I will sue and I will go public...
- (LAUGHS)
- ... with the many, many...
- So stupid.
... pictures of your genitalia...
- All right. Great. Mm-hmm.
- ... that I have in my possession.
- Have I made myself clear?
- Yes, absolutely.
It's been a pleasure working
with you, Gerri. Thanks.
I could have got you there.
(SCOFFS)
But no. Nope.
Nope.
See ya.
(DRUMS FINGERS ON TABLE AGGRESSIVELY)
♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Okay.
Hey, Con. Can we, uh...
Can we settle this now?
Everyone is quite freaked out
about this political firebombing
- in Arizona.
- Oh, yeah. The pop-pops in Phoenix?
- WILLA: Yeah.
- The wastepaper basket on fire?
I think a file cabinet was
in the ICU. Can we draft?
Well, actually, there's been a...
- slight change of heart.
- Get the f*ck outta here. You got it.
You got your bauble. It's great.
Let's write up a
f*cking statement, okay?
Wind up the old fax machine and
fart it out to your oddball army, okay?
We wonder, Roman, if he might have...
invested too much in this
campaign to just, you know,
- drop out now. Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
That's so cool. You tried. You failed.
You move on. Find something new.
He's fought hard.
And we wanna find out
what might happen, okay?
He might write, you
know, a book about this,
- or a speaker circuit, or...
- Hey!
Nothing is gonna happen. Okay?
Anything might happen
tomorrow, actually.
- ROMAN: Really? Anything?
- Mm.
Yes, see? Because that's the
beauty of this little system
that we have called democracy.
Con! Man! Eat the f*cking carrot. Okay?
Everyone in this room
thinks you're a f*cking joke.
So tell your "wife" to shut the
f*ck up, cover her shoulders,
- and pack a f*cking bag for Oman, okay?
- Rome. Rome.
- I'm talking here. It's okay.
- Easy.
There's one person here...
- who doesn't think I'm a joke.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
So that's who I'm gonna listen to, okay?
That's smart. Yeah, listen to her.
- CONNOR: Willa, honey?
- Yeah?
- CONNOR: Bye. Nice to meet you.
- LUKAS: Pleasure, sir.
You got my vote, a hundred percent,
- if I could vote.
- I'm trying to help you, man.
I am trying to help ya.
LUKAS: Really nice party.
Cool, cool family.
Oh. Thanks, man. Tweet about it.
So, who's, uh...
Who's going out tonight in
this shitty f*cking town?
Anyone?
I gotta say, it's pretty
depressing from up here.
You can really see
how second-world it is.
I don't know, pretty
happening town, famously.
LUKAS: Really? Is it though?
- Yeah.
- Compared to Singapore, Seoul,
it's like Legoland.
You know we still run sh*t, though?
Hmm. Like as in, "Only in New York."
- KENDALL: Yeah.
- Right. Okay. (CHUCKLES)
Well, uh, nothing happens in New
York that doesn't happen everywhere.
You should get that
written on a cup. Right?
Shouldn't he get that written on a cup?
Like, that would look so cool.
You could sell that in a...
in a head shop in Rotterdam.
- Could be a... a good business for you.
- LUKAS: Mm-hmm.
'Cause I hear you might need
some new revenue streams.
(FORCED LAUGH) Yeah.
Hey, really, really good
presentation by the way.
Loved it. (LAUGHS)
Can't wait to get into
those predictions, man.
- Those meaty predictions.
- KENDALL: Oh, yeah.
- Yes! Gonna be fun.
- KENDALL: Yeah? Yeah?
I'm excited about that.
Estimates. You know, estimates.
- LUKAS: Yup.
- But you, man. Your numbers.
Exploding, right? Like,
literally unbelievable.
Well, thank you. Thank you.
And congrats to you as well,
'cause I hear your numbers are gay.
- My numbers are... are what?
- LUKAS: Gay.
- My numbers are gay?
- LUKAS: (SNICKERS) Yeah.
You have this, uh,
cute little valuation,
and your numbers just came out as gay.
That's kinda h*m*, man.
Dude. Just let the wave hit you.
Float out.
I think I am the wave though, actually.
You think you are the wave?
Because you love the deal?
Are you kidding? Biggest
over-pay in history.
- Love that sh*t.
- LUKAS: Okay.
- KENDALL: Love it.
- LUKAS: All right, well...
- KENDALL: Love the deal.
- Whoo! Love the deal.
Love the deal.
Whoo!
- Come on. Come on. Come on, brother.
- Love it! Love the deal.
- (KISSES)
- (KISSES)
(LAUGHS) Yes.
- All right.
- KENDALL: Love the deal.
LUKAS: Love the deal! Love the deal.
- The f*ck? Bit of a show.
- KENDALL: Hugging it out.
- Uh-huh?
- (WHISPERS) Hey. I'm gonna...
- SHIV: What?
- Yeah. I'm done.
I'm... I'm gonna...
bed. I'm bushwhacked.
My eyes are sandpaper. I'm just...
Okay, well, we... you can stay
up for just a little longer
- and say good night to people together.
- Shiv, do you know
what my day looks like tomorrow?
Tom, you're not gonna be doing anything.
You'll just be lookin' for
shiny foreheads. It's fine.
- I'm...
- You can stay for minutes more.
I'm just a little tired
because all the fun gossip
that I've been hearing
from everywhere at
this party, in my house,
is that I'm gonna be sh*t-canned.
I got faith in you, man.
- Always been a loyal servant.
- Lots of faith.
SHIV: Sorry...
Not helpful.
- The f*ck is wrong with you?
- You know, I just
really do need to get
some sleep. I really do.
I'm sorry. Can we just leave it there?
- Please? Okay.
- SHIV: You're tired. I get it.
You keep on f*cking saying.
So, yeah, you're tired.
Okay, okay, I'm tired.
Let's leave it there.
SHIV: Keep f*cking telling everyone.
- Okay, okay. I'll stop.
- SHIV: You're tired. I get it.
I'm sorry.
I'm just... you know,
I am just worried about, you know...
Maybe I've nailed myself
to the Matsson cross,
and he might turn out to be bullshit.
You know, he's erratic
and... and... and... and...
You know, maybe he isn't real.
Shiv, he's real. He's the future.
No, Tom. He...
There is a time b*mb in his numbers,
and I might get blown up.
You'll be fine.
- You'll always be fine.
- No.
No, I am f*cking my family for this.
TOM: Can I just say something?
At this party here, there are maybe
of the most important people in America,
and you have just walked
all around, all evening,
telling them all that
I'm gonna get fired.
No, it was implied,
lightly, as a little...
God! Part of a tactical kind of joke.
Will you explain to me, uh, the joke?
- Because I don't get the f*cking joke.
- SHIV: Oh, my God. Tom!
- I don't get the joke.
- It was something that he said,
that isn't true, that we needed to say.
But you stood by his
side, and he said it,
and you were like, "Okay,
well, that sounds good to me."
f*ck's sake. I'm not
doing this right now.
You know...
I am in serious
trouble. That was a play.
You will be okay
because you are a tough f*cking bitch
who will always survive
because you do what you need.
- You will do whatever you need.
- SHIV: Are you even listening? I will be okay?
- Yeah? Really?
- TOM: Yeah.
You sure you're not projecting?
Because that is actually you.
Should we have a real conversation?
- With a scorpion? No.
- TOM: That was a friendly thing.
- That was a friendly thing.
- Oh, yeah. Sure. Real friendly.
Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, no. Uh, I'm a scorpion.
You're a hyena. You're
a... You're a street rat.
Actually, no. You're a f*cking snake.
"Here's a dead snake to
wear as a necktie, Tom.
Why aren't you laughing?"
I wonder if we shouldn't clear the air.
- Yeah? Mm. Sure.
- TOM: Yeah.
I think that you can be
a very selfish person,
and I think you find it very hard
to think about me.
- SHIV: What the f*ck?
- And I think...
you shouldn't have
even married me, actually.
What the f*ck? What the actual f*ck?
You proposed to me.
You proposed to me at
my lowest f*cking ebb.
My dad was dying. What
was I supposed to say?
- Perhaps, "No"?
- I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Oh, thanks! Thanks for that!
Yeah, you really kept me safe
while you ran off to
f*ck the phone book.
Oh, f*ck off. You're a hick.
- TOM: And then... And then...
- Conservative hick.
You hid it because you were so scared
of how f*ckin' awful you are.
You were only with me to get to power.
Well, you got it now,
Tom. You've got it!
I'm with you because I love you!
Bullshit. You're f*cking me for my DNA.
You were f*cking me for a f*cking ladder
because your whole family
is striving and parochial.
That's not... That's not
a fair characterization.
Oh, no? Well, your mom loves
me more than she loves you
because she's cracked.
You wanna... You wanna
actually clear the air? Fine.
You betrayed me.
You were going to see me get
sent to f*cking prison, Shiv!
And then you fobbed me off with
that f*ckin' undrinkable wine,
and you won't have my baby
because you never
even thought, honestly,
that you'd be with me more
than, like, four f*ckin' years,
- I don't think!
- You offered to go to jail, Tom!
You offered because you're servile!
You're just... You're servile!
You are incapable of
thinking about anybody
other than yourself 'cause
your sense of who you are, Shiv,
- is that f*ckin' thin!
- SHIV: Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
- You read that in a book, Tom?
You're too f*ckin'
transparent to find in a book!
You're pathetic. You're pathetic.
You're a masochist, and
you can't even take it.
TOM: I think you are incapable of love.
And I think you are maybe not
a good person to have children!
Well, that's not very
nice to say, is it?
TOM: I'm sorry.
♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I'm sorry. But you... You...
You have hurt me more than
you can possibly imagine.
And you, you took away
the last six months
I could've had with my dad.
- TOM: No.
- Yes.
- TOM: No!
- Yes.
You sucked up to him,
and you cut me out!
It's not my fault
that you didn't get his approval.
I have given you endless approval,
and it doesn't fill you
up because you're broken.
(SNIFFLES) I don't like you.
I don't...
I don't even care about you.
I don't care.
Have we cleared the
air, huh? Feel good now?
- Yeah.
- SHIV: Yeah.
- f*ckin' great. Tip-top.
- SHIV: Uh-huh.
You don't deserve me. And you never did.
And everything came out of that.
Oof! So fu... f*cking flat.
(SIGHS)
You, uh, find ways
to have fun out there?
More or less.
The red wine smells like wet dog.
(KENDAL CHUCKLES)
Listen, I just wanted to do five.
Just me and you. Just Franky and Kenny.
- Mm-hmm.
- KENDALL: Not CEO and Chair.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah. I don't think the GoJo deal
is in the best interests
of the shareholders,
- and I would like to explore ways of blocking it.
- (SINGSONGS) La, la, la, la, la!
- I don't wanna hear it, Ken!
- KENDALL: What if I told you
his subs in India are
significantly inflated?
I'm just gonna hit you with this.
What if we run it all the way back?
Do I even wanna know what that means?
We go reverse Viking.
We pillage their village.
Waystar acquires GoJo.
(SCOFFS) It... There would
have to be major issues.
KENDALL: There are.
What if we could slow this
down and we eat Matsson's lunch?
Bigger than Dad ever was.
Uh, Roman and Shiv?
Yeah, I don't know. Part of my plans.
I love 'em, but not in
love with 'em, you know?
- FRANK VERNON: Mm-hmm.
- One head, one crown.
But I'll need ballast.
Are you with me?
♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
TOM: Hi, everyone. Hi.
Bedtime for Bonzo!
Sorry, but please get the
f*ck out of my house now.
(GUESTS LAUGHING)
Yeah. No, no, no. Please.
Party's over 'cause I gotta sleep!
It's been a terrific night.
Thank you so much. No, I am serious.
Off you go, go to bed. Enjoy
your beds. Go home, cry.
I'm done. I'm done.
I can barely stand, but
I've had enough. Good night.
- Good night, Tom.
- Don't forget your coats!
- Hmm.
- f*ck Tom.
Yeah. f*ck Tom.
f*ck Tom.
So, guys. Um... Funeral.
If nobody wants to grab it,
I'm happy to take the big-energy spot.
- Yeah?
- ROMAN: Yeah.
- Uh...
- Yeah. I mean, it...
seemed like
nobody wanted it. So, I got it.
Yeah?
Sure, it's fine.
Knock yourself out. Just paint it red.
- Yeah. Happy?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Happy?
- Happy.
Happy.
Happy, happy, headbangers.
Here we are. Okay. Mm!
- (KISSES)
- Good night.
- Good night.
- ROMAN: Night.
♪ (SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪