03x06 - Second Semester has Started!
Posted: 05/24/23 07:32
[ISSEI] And just like that,
I'm back in school.
My whole summer break was wasted
on the boot camp from hell.
Talk about a serious
pain in the ass.
[exhales]
[MATSUDA, MOTOHAMA]
Yo, Issei!
Ah! What the hell
was that for?!
Lucky my foot ain't a cap!
We were s'posed to see
b*tches on beaches!
We were gonna be dudes on
the dunes and you flaked!
[ISSEI] I didn't have a
choice! I told you guys,
I had to go to training camp
with the Occult research club!
It's not like you
couldn't've gone without me!
[MOTOHAMA, MATSUDA]
Huh?
[KIRYUU laughs]
Well, what do we have here?
Shouldn't you save
the dry-humping
for your bodypillows?
--[MATSUDA] Ho, no you didn't!
--[ISSEI] Go away, Aika!
[MOTOHAMA]
Can't you see we're busy?
Oh, yeah, I see that.
But I figured you'd rather
get busy with the
new transfer student.
She's supposed to
be a real hottie.
[ALL]
What?! New girl?!
[gasps]
Hello, everyone.
My name is Irina Shido.
it's a pleasure.
No way!
That's what I'm talkin' about!
Aika wasn't lying!
[IRINA] Oh, hi, Issei!
I didn't see you there!
Yo, why's my future baby-mama
talkin' to yo dumb ass?
We've known each
other forever!
We were childhood friends
so we go way, way back!
[XENOVIA]
Looks like you had a safe trip.
I didn't think we'd see
you again so soon!
I know right? I missed
you. Oh, come here!
[IRINA]
What's the matter?
Sorry, it's just the cross
hanging around your neck.
It hurts us.
Oh! That's right!
I forgot the crucifix
hurts devils. Forgive me?
Same old Irina.
I'm kinda freaking out. Wasn't
she a member of the church?
That's right. I wonder why
she transferred here, too?
[door opens]
Great, you've already
gathered. Welcome, Irina.
Have you had a good
first day of school?
[IRINA] I have!
Thank you so much, Rias.
Everyone's so nice!
I'm really happy to be here!
Wait, do you know
what's going on, Rias?
[AZAZEL] It's not that
complicated, kid.
Oh, great, Azazel's here.
I figured I should
come say hello
to your new transfer
student, too.
After all, she's here
since Michael thinks
the rest of us aren't
strong enough.
So he's bolstering our numbers
against the Chaos Brigade.
Hey, we did work
pretty well together.
Sure, it'll take getting
used to, but it'll be fun.
Now that I'm here,
you guys don't have to
worry about a thing!
As a reincarnated angel,
I'll protect you with
Lord Michael's blessing!
Amen!
[ISSEI]
I thought pride was a sin.
[GASPER]
She sorta terrifies me.
[XENOVIA] I still can't believe
you're an angel now.
How did that even happen?
[AZAZEL]
With God dead and all,
there's no way for new
angels to be born.
So they've gotta be made now,
kind of like the fallen
angels and devils do.
[IRINA]
This is how it works.
A high-level angel
is ranked as a "King".
The king commands
its "Brave Saints,"
which rank from
"Queen" to "Ace,"
and there's everything
in between.
[KIBA]
Oh, I get it.
While we're based
on chess pieces,
you guys are like
a deck of cards.
A whole house of
cards to choose from.
Which one did you get assigned?
I was hoping someone
would ask me that!
I am a rank Ace.
I was beyond honored to take
on this prestigious position
for Lord Michael's deck.
What a joy! Such a blessing!
Lord Michael, thank you!
It's nice to see Irina
so full of purpose.
Lord Michael must have
done a lot for her.
I guess so.
It proves when you're lost,
life still has direction.
I think you
can relate to that.
So true!
You excited for tonight's
welcoming party?
I am. I want Irina
to feel at home.
I gotta say, our house is
starting to fill up like crazy!
I wonder what my
parents will think
when they see not one
new girl, but two.
Hold on. Rossweisse is
still here? I thought...
[RIAS]
Don't ask.
You were left behind?
[ROSSWEISSE cries]
Don't know why I'm crying.
I should be used to this by now.
It's not like any other man
has wanted me by his side,
so why should my own boss?
Don't be like that. I'm sure
he'll be back real soon.
Oh, yeah, me, too! Once the
titty bars have a special event,
he'll be the first one in line!
Maybe I should apply
to be a dancer so he'll see
me and realize he forgot me!
But then he'll be like, "get
that old lady off the stage
and bring out a young girl..."
Do you regret asking, yet?
Yeah.
[ISSEI] Oh right, the sports
festival's coming up.
[ASIA]
Is that important?
Yeah, it's a competition
held between classes.
Every year after summer break we
duke it out to see who's best.
sh**t, and while I came from
the church, I have no grace.
Ah!
Whoa, hey!
[ASIA gasps]
[ISSEI]
Asia, are you okay?
Yes. I'm fine.
Just a little shaken.
Thanks for the save.
I appreciate it.
[DIODORA]
My pleasure, Asia Argento.
[gasps]
Wait a minute.
How lucky I caught you today.
After all, you're the
reason I came here.
[ASIA]
Huh?
Now I remember.
You were at the reception
in the underworld!
I've fantasized about
seeing you again.
Um. I'm sorry?
Hey, Stranger-danger, back up.
Come now, we're
all friends here.
After all, we have such history.
Say, what?
[ASIA]
That scar!
I can't believe it!
That's right. I am the
first devil you saved
by using your sacred gear, but I
never got to introduce myself.
My name is Diodora Astaroth.
Honestly, I never expected
to reunite with you
in the underworld. I wanted
to speak with you then,
but there was such a commotion,
I missed my chance.
So I have come to pick
up where we left off.
What? "Left off?"
[DIODORA]
For us to have met twice,
in the world above,
as well as below.
[gasps]
Yo, douche-nozzle, keep
your lips to yourself!
Clearly, we are bound by fate,
and so I must take
you as my bride.
[RIAS] Interesting. The current
Great Devil Beelzebub
is a descendent of
the Astaroth family.
And Diodora is the
heir to that title.
I didn't realize you two
were acquainted, Asia.
Actually, it's quite the
surprise for me, too.
A lot was going on back then.
I didn't recognize him.
[ISSEI]
Poor girl.
Saving that guy got her
exiled from the church;
which then got her mixed
up with the fallen angels.
He only came today because he
wanted to introduce himself,
so he didn't linger or anything.
[RIAS]
Well, that's good to hear.
Diodora was pretty sheltered and
can be a bit socially awkward.
I'm sure he was just excited
to see the girl who saved him.
Ignore him, and he'll go away.
Okay, I'll do that.
[knocking]
Hey, we're all set up
downstairs for the party.
Perfect timing.
Are you guys ready?
[ASIA]
Yeah! What's wrong, Issei?
Huh! Ah... Nothing. Hey, if that
pretty boy bothers you again,
don't worry about it.
I'll send him packin'!
Thanks!
I wanted to thank you.
I'm happy to be here.
Y'know, I used to think of
devils as my sworn enemies.
So I hunted them mercilessly,
and I would've k*lled you all.
I really hope this
stays in past tense.
But that's over!
Lord Michael said we should
put the past behind us
and work together
for a better future.
Which is great,
because I'd much rather
be friends with you anyway.
I'm honored to represent
the church here.
Let's make our
communities proud!
It's nice to see
youthful idealism.
Our sides've been fighting
each other too long.
Some still won't
approve, though.
But you kids put that aside to
stop a pissy god's rampage.
It was an excellent
demonstration
of what's possible
if we work as one.
I want to thank you all
for what you represent.
When you put it that way,
nearly dying sounds like
it was almost worth it.
Yeah, almost.
C'mon. It worked out in the end.
The real travesty is that there
weren't any fallen angels
around to make my
team look good.
[AKENO] Not true.
There was a fallen angel.
And it fought,
united with a devil.
Yes, she did.
You're right. I'm mistaken.
And I know one guy who'd
have been proud to see it.
[RIAS] We were all proud.
And still are.
[AZAZEL] On that note,
good news Issei!
[ISSEI]
Uh-oh.
[AZAZEL] I had some
business to take care of
back in the underworld.
Found out you've become
quite the celebrity there.
[ISSEI]
Celebrity like how?
Wow! That's wonderful
news, Issei!
It makes sense.
He did use Mjolnir to crush
Loki and save all of Hell.
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
They made a documentary
to showcase our
brave hero's greatest hits.
And then it went hell viral.
[ALL gasp]
In that case,
let me poke yo titties.
Huh?!
[ISSEI]
My power was unleashed
by poking my
master's headlights!
So, uh, not just basic
groping, but like...
I... can... suck on dem tittays?
This is for Rias and her
mammoth love melons!
[AZAZEL]
The fans especially love it
when you make
heroic exclamations
about things like boobies.
[RIAS]
Uh...
[AZAZEL] You are now known
as the Breast Dragon Emperor.
You're kidding!
Tell me you're joking.
[AZAZEL]
The kids love you most of all.
They sing songs about you
around their school yards
called "The Grabbin' Dragon."
Just k*ll me...
[IRINA]
Ooh, pick me!
I want to do the treasure hunt,
put me down for that!
All right. The next competition
is the three-legged race.
[DDRAIG cries]
[ISSEI]
C'mon, Ddraig, cheer up.
[DDRAIG] I am one of the
two heavenly dragons!
The name Red Dragon Emperor
used to strike fear
into the hearts of millions!
[ISSEI] Look, I'm
embarrassed, too, okay?
[DDRAIG] But now I'm the
"Breast Dragon Emperor"!
All hail "Grabbin'
Dragon"! [cries]
[ISSEI sighs] Who knew Ddraig
would be so sensitive?
Hasn't he ever heard that all
publicity is good publicity?
And as if I didn't have
enough to worry about,
that dude from Asia's past
has gone full blown stalker.
He missed his chance,
why won't he let it die?
Then again. I'm no better.
[KIRYUU]
Issei.
[ISSEI gasps]
That hole in your
armpit an air vent?
[ISSEI]
Don't tell me.
Wait, what? There's no hole.
[KIRYUU]
That's half our tripod!
[ISSEI groans]
That was dirty, even for you!
Only one-and-a-half
legs to go. Any takers?
Asia?
[KIRYUU]
Done deal!
[IRINA] You ready to
do this, Xenovia?
[XENOVIA] You bet.
Show me what you've got.
[IRINA pants]
[STUDENTS cheer]
[ISSEI] Hot damn!
Why am I impressed?
They're not normal girls.
Man, those chicks
don't slow they roll,
they gonna end up
with black eyes!
You're right! They keep it up,
they'll motorboat themselves!
With their pistons
pumping so hard,
it's impossible for us
to appreciate them!
--[STUDENT A] One-two.
--[MATSUDA] Big swigs.
--[STUDENT B] Three-four.
--[MOTOHAMA] And itty bitties!
Like a multiple choice test!
[BOTH]
Answers A through D!
Hey. Hyodo.
Saji! 'Sup?
[MATSUDA, MOTOHAMA]
Saji!
Not much. You?
Birdwatching,
titmouses to be exact.
[SAJI] Ah. Y'know,
I shoulda seen that coming.
So that your festival
event, or what?
No, I'm doin' the three-legged
race with Asia.
Well, aren't you just the
luckiest son of a bitch?
I got stuck in the
bread eating contest.
Saji. Shouldn't you
be doing something?
Seeing as you represent
the student council,
I expect you to win your
race. Get back to work.
Right! Uh. I was
getting hungry!
I always forget
how whipped he is.
[ASIA gasps]
[KIRYUU]
Wow, Asia!
You had quite the growth
spurt over the summer!
I'm flattered you noticed,
but can you please let go?
I'd be so into this
if it were happening to
any other girl but Asia.
Hey! You about
ready to practice?
Oh! Yeah! See you later.
Issei! Don't get a hard-on
because your bodies are
pressed against each other!
I'll stay soft by
thinkin' of you!
[ASIA] Are going to
be able to do this?
It looks really hard
if you're not in sync
with the other person.
[ISSEI] We'll be fine. Let's
show 'em how it's done!
[ASIA]
'Kay.
[ISSEI]
Ooh!
Is something wrong, Issei?
[ISSEI]
Uh... No way!
[ISSEI] I have to stay calm.
This is Asia, after all.
Baseball, Matsuda,
Aika Kiryuu!
[ISSEI] Yeah, so, let's
just take it slow for now.
Baby steps.
[gasps]
[ISSEI]
And inside, and--
Ah!
[ISSEI]
I guess we do need baby steps.
Her legs aren't as long as mine.
Um, Issei? You're hands, uh...
[ISSEI] Mm? Ah! Oh my god!
I am so sorry!
[ASIA yelps]
[ISSEI] Figures, I try and
save Asia from face-planting
and end up sliding
into second base.
Hey. You're not
hurt, are you?
All good, but next time?
Try to warn me before
you touch me like that
so I'm ready for it, okay?
That way, maybe both of
us can enjoy the moment.
[ISSEI] Wait, I can grope her
if I give her a heads up?!
How about we give
this another shot?
What's the point?
I'm just gonna slow you down.
C'mon. I can't do this without
you! We gotta be together.
You really mean that?
Sure do, it's you and me.
And we're gonna take
this one step at a time.
[ASIA]
Okay.
[ISSEI] Outside, inside,
outside, inside,
outside, inside,
outside, inside.
[ASIA]
Issei. I want to thank you
for everything
you've done for me.
Without you, I wouldn't
be getting married today.
[ISSEI]
Huh?
[MOTHER cries] Oh, Asia!
A beautiful bride!
[ISSEI]
Wait, Mom? Dad?
[RIAS]
Asia.
I'm so happy to see you
moving on with your life.
We all are.
You deserve to be happy,
don't worry about us.
Uh... Wait a sec.
What is this?
[MOTHER]
Don't be like that, Issei.
Don't you have something to
say to the blushing bride?
She is like a little
sister to you, isn't she?
[ISSEI] You can't just
spring this on me.
I mean... Who's the groom?
[DIODORA] Don't worry, brother.
I will make Asia happy.
After all, I am super rich.
And I'm high ranking,
so I'm clearly the best thing
that's ever happened to her.
Are you ready, my love?
"I do." With those
words, you'll be mine,
and I'll whisk you away.
I am. Goodbye, Issei.
I'm leaving with Diodora
to get hitched.
Thanks for everything,
but I don't need you
--anymore!
--[ISSEI] Asia!
[ISSEI] As you're platonic
older brother figure,
I can't let you
marry that assh*le!
Are you awake?
Did you have a bad dream?
It seemed like it.
You could say that.
I dreamt you were getting
married and leaving me.
How could you do
something like that?
It was just a dream, Issei,
you're okay. I'm not leaving.
And don't worry! I'm not
getting married yet, either.
You really mean that?
I think I'd die from
loneliness without you.
I do. There's no way
I could live with myself
if I caused you
that kind of pain.
That's... great.
[RIAS]
Mm. What's going on?
Rias?
[ASIA, RIAS gasp]
[ISSEI]
Oh. Whe did she get here?
[RIAS]
Koneko?
Meow.
[ISSEI]
Not to beat off a dead-horse,
but I'm so glad you're
not getting married.
As long as she rejects
the proposal.
[ISSEI]
Letters?
Love letters to be exact. All
sent by one Diodora Astaroth.
He's sent me something
every single day
since we bumped into
him in the street.
Movie tickets, dinner invites,
stuffed animals, chocolates,
flowers, car keys, the works.
I'm sorry.
You don't have to apologize
for a little crush.
Poor thing doesn't know
the way to a woman's heart.
What the hell's his problem?
He's a legit stalker!
It was bad enough he
proposed. Now this?
Anyway... How about
I get rid of these?
I would appreciate it.
Well, we kinda need
to get practicing
for the sports festival.
[RIAS]
Of course. Have fun.
[BOTH]
We will!
[RIAS] That expression.
Does he like....? [gasps]
What am I thinking?
Issei's always like that.
I shouldn't be worried.
[BOTH] In, out, in,
out, in, out, in, out!
Great! You guys
look really good.
[ISSEI]
Couldn't do it without you!
[ASIA] I feel bad we made
you help us practice.
[XENOVIA]
I'm happy to do it.
But we're not done.
Go for a light jog this time.
Cool. You ready
for this, partner?
Hello?
What's up?
You first.
Sorry.
I was thinking, I don't regret
saving Diodora back then.
He's the reason I'm
in Kuo Academy.
Where I found the
Occult Research Club,
and met all of my
friends, and you.
The people I love
more than anything.
If I hadn't saved him back then,
I wouldn't have any of you.
And when I think
about it like that,
I feel so happy about
the whole thing.
[ISSEI]
You're right.
And we're always going
to be together, Asia.
Yeah.
That was so tender.
Irina? How long have
you been here?
A bit. Xenovia told me yesterday
that the school grounds
are really lovely in
the early mornings.
And boy was she right!
I never expected to see
such beautiful friendship!
Your affection could
only be the product
of God and Lord Michael's will.
Amen!
[ASIA sighs]
I am worn out!
[ISSEI]
Me, too.
Let's get changed
and take a break.
--[door closes]
--[ISSEI] Uh! Xenovia?
[ASIA] What are you doing?
Is something the matter?
Asia. I found something out.
Has anyone told you
about this, yet?
Girls our age are beginning to
have secret affairs with boys.
[ISSEI]
Huh?
No, I didn't know that.
[XENOVIA] We should have what's
called a "Devil's Threesome."
I've heard of that... maybe?
Look, I don't know what
you think that means,
but trust me on this, you're
wrong on so many levels.
Asia. There isn't much time.
We'll have to do this quickly if
we want it to remain a secret.
I didn't realize we were
on some sort of deadline!
Of course we are!
The devil's threesome will also
improve your three legged race.
It's the rule of threes!
Does not apply to that!
Come on.
If we can't do it with
friends, why bother?
Yeah.
That's why we should
do it together!
Yeah, uh! That makes
sense I think?
[ISSEI] No. None of
that makes sense.
[XENOVIA]
Let's get started, then.
I'll benefit from this
as well by training
my baby-making skills.
Hold on! You wanna do this here?
First off, you got your
terminology wrong,
you want to ride the tricycle,
which would be a
dream come true! B...!
It's not the first time
you've tried this.
You get off on situations
like this, don't you?
Never mind, I don't
want to know...
[XENOVIA]
Your turn, Asia.
[ASIA]
Right. My turn.
Y'know, the more
I think about it,
I don't know if I'm
ready for this yet.
[XENOVIA]
Up!
[ASIA]
Xenovia!
[ISSEI grunting]
No, wait! Wa, ha!
Can we talk about this?
She's right! I'm ready!
I won't be showed up by
the other girls anymore!
[XENOVIA sighs]
Oh wow, being touched by you
feels completely different
than when I touch myself.
Keep going.
Asia and I are ready to
give ourselves to you.
Do whatever you want.
[ISSEI gasps]
"Do whatever I want"?
That's my favorite sentence
in the whole entire world!
No! I swore I would
protect Asia!
Gotta stop, but my hand...
Tensing up! I'm gonna squeeze!
Ah!
You guys never came back out,
so I was worried
something had happened!
But this?!
[ISSEI]
U-Uh... Irina!
Geez! At least do it in bed!
This place is filthy,
who knows what diseases
you could catch here!
[ISSEI]
Valid.
[KIBA]
A rating game?
[RIAS]
That's right. More specifically,
it's a tournament designed
to test and rank
the power of the next
generation of devils.
It was supposed to be held
over the summer break,
but then Loki att*cked, and
you all know how that ended up.
No, I don't wanna,
I'm too scared!
If this game's meant to rank us,
does that mean we'll be
going up against Sairaorg?
Yes, and he's one favored
to win the championship.
With good reason, too,
he's on a whole other level.
Fortunately for us, though,
we're not paired up against
him in the first round.
They've already chosen
the brackets. That's whack.
That's right. We're fighting...
Diodora Astaroth.
[BOTH gasp]
[ISSEI]
Diodora...
[ASIA]
Uh...
f*ck that guy.
So how 'bout it, Issei?
Don't you think looks
amazing on me?
Oh, deal with it already.
He's way more into my girls!
[KONEKO]
Do you like this look?
No, so many mixed emotions!
Not, like you!
It's my turn, now.
I'm back in school.
My whole summer break was wasted
on the boot camp from hell.
Talk about a serious
pain in the ass.
[exhales]
[MATSUDA, MOTOHAMA]
Yo, Issei!
Ah! What the hell
was that for?!
Lucky my foot ain't a cap!
We were s'posed to see
b*tches on beaches!
We were gonna be dudes on
the dunes and you flaked!
[ISSEI] I didn't have a
choice! I told you guys,
I had to go to training camp
with the Occult research club!
It's not like you
couldn't've gone without me!
[MOTOHAMA, MATSUDA]
Huh?
[KIRYUU laughs]
Well, what do we have here?
Shouldn't you save
the dry-humping
for your bodypillows?
--[MATSUDA] Ho, no you didn't!
--[ISSEI] Go away, Aika!
[MOTOHAMA]
Can't you see we're busy?
Oh, yeah, I see that.
But I figured you'd rather
get busy with the
new transfer student.
She's supposed to
be a real hottie.
[ALL]
What?! New girl?!
[gasps]
Hello, everyone.
My name is Irina Shido.
it's a pleasure.
No way!
That's what I'm talkin' about!
Aika wasn't lying!
[IRINA] Oh, hi, Issei!
I didn't see you there!
Yo, why's my future baby-mama
talkin' to yo dumb ass?
We've known each
other forever!
We were childhood friends
so we go way, way back!
[XENOVIA]
Looks like you had a safe trip.
I didn't think we'd see
you again so soon!
I know right? I missed
you. Oh, come here!
[IRINA]
What's the matter?
Sorry, it's just the cross
hanging around your neck.
It hurts us.
Oh! That's right!
I forgot the crucifix
hurts devils. Forgive me?
Same old Irina.
I'm kinda freaking out. Wasn't
she a member of the church?
That's right. I wonder why
she transferred here, too?
[door opens]
Great, you've already
gathered. Welcome, Irina.
Have you had a good
first day of school?
[IRINA] I have!
Thank you so much, Rias.
Everyone's so nice!
I'm really happy to be here!
Wait, do you know
what's going on, Rias?
[AZAZEL] It's not that
complicated, kid.
Oh, great, Azazel's here.
I figured I should
come say hello
to your new transfer
student, too.
After all, she's here
since Michael thinks
the rest of us aren't
strong enough.
So he's bolstering our numbers
against the Chaos Brigade.
Hey, we did work
pretty well together.
Sure, it'll take getting
used to, but it'll be fun.
Now that I'm here,
you guys don't have to
worry about a thing!
As a reincarnated angel,
I'll protect you with
Lord Michael's blessing!
Amen!
[ISSEI]
I thought pride was a sin.
[GASPER]
She sorta terrifies me.
[XENOVIA] I still can't believe
you're an angel now.
How did that even happen?
[AZAZEL]
With God dead and all,
there's no way for new
angels to be born.
So they've gotta be made now,
kind of like the fallen
angels and devils do.
[IRINA]
This is how it works.
A high-level angel
is ranked as a "King".
The king commands
its "Brave Saints,"
which rank from
"Queen" to "Ace,"
and there's everything
in between.
[KIBA]
Oh, I get it.
While we're based
on chess pieces,
you guys are like
a deck of cards.
A whole house of
cards to choose from.
Which one did you get assigned?
I was hoping someone
would ask me that!
I am a rank Ace.
I was beyond honored to take
on this prestigious position
for Lord Michael's deck.
What a joy! Such a blessing!
Lord Michael, thank you!
It's nice to see Irina
so full of purpose.
Lord Michael must have
done a lot for her.
I guess so.
It proves when you're lost,
life still has direction.
I think you
can relate to that.
So true!
You excited for tonight's
welcoming party?
I am. I want Irina
to feel at home.
I gotta say, our house is
starting to fill up like crazy!
I wonder what my
parents will think
when they see not one
new girl, but two.
Hold on. Rossweisse is
still here? I thought...
[RIAS]
Don't ask.
You were left behind?
[ROSSWEISSE cries]
Don't know why I'm crying.
I should be used to this by now.
It's not like any other man
has wanted me by his side,
so why should my own boss?
Don't be like that. I'm sure
he'll be back real soon.
Oh, yeah, me, too! Once the
titty bars have a special event,
he'll be the first one in line!
Maybe I should apply
to be a dancer so he'll see
me and realize he forgot me!
But then he'll be like, "get
that old lady off the stage
and bring out a young girl..."
Do you regret asking, yet?
Yeah.
[ISSEI] Oh right, the sports
festival's coming up.
[ASIA]
Is that important?
Yeah, it's a competition
held between classes.
Every year after summer break we
duke it out to see who's best.
sh**t, and while I came from
the church, I have no grace.
Ah!
Whoa, hey!
[ASIA gasps]
[ISSEI]
Asia, are you okay?
Yes. I'm fine.
Just a little shaken.
Thanks for the save.
I appreciate it.
[DIODORA]
My pleasure, Asia Argento.
[gasps]
Wait a minute.
How lucky I caught you today.
After all, you're the
reason I came here.
[ASIA]
Huh?
Now I remember.
You were at the reception
in the underworld!
I've fantasized about
seeing you again.
Um. I'm sorry?
Hey, Stranger-danger, back up.
Come now, we're
all friends here.
After all, we have such history.
Say, what?
[ASIA]
That scar!
I can't believe it!
That's right. I am the
first devil you saved
by using your sacred gear, but I
never got to introduce myself.
My name is Diodora Astaroth.
Honestly, I never expected
to reunite with you
in the underworld. I wanted
to speak with you then,
but there was such a commotion,
I missed my chance.
So I have come to pick
up where we left off.
What? "Left off?"
[DIODORA]
For us to have met twice,
in the world above,
as well as below.
[gasps]
Yo, douche-nozzle, keep
your lips to yourself!
Clearly, we are bound by fate,
and so I must take
you as my bride.
[RIAS] Interesting. The current
Great Devil Beelzebub
is a descendent of
the Astaroth family.
And Diodora is the
heir to that title.
I didn't realize you two
were acquainted, Asia.
Actually, it's quite the
surprise for me, too.
A lot was going on back then.
I didn't recognize him.
[ISSEI]
Poor girl.
Saving that guy got her
exiled from the church;
which then got her mixed
up with the fallen angels.
He only came today because he
wanted to introduce himself,
so he didn't linger or anything.
[RIAS]
Well, that's good to hear.
Diodora was pretty sheltered and
can be a bit socially awkward.
I'm sure he was just excited
to see the girl who saved him.
Ignore him, and he'll go away.
Okay, I'll do that.
[knocking]
Hey, we're all set up
downstairs for the party.
Perfect timing.
Are you guys ready?
[ASIA]
Yeah! What's wrong, Issei?
Huh! Ah... Nothing. Hey, if that
pretty boy bothers you again,
don't worry about it.
I'll send him packin'!
Thanks!
I wanted to thank you.
I'm happy to be here.
Y'know, I used to think of
devils as my sworn enemies.
So I hunted them mercilessly,
and I would've k*lled you all.
I really hope this
stays in past tense.
But that's over!
Lord Michael said we should
put the past behind us
and work together
for a better future.
Which is great,
because I'd much rather
be friends with you anyway.
I'm honored to represent
the church here.
Let's make our
communities proud!
It's nice to see
youthful idealism.
Our sides've been fighting
each other too long.
Some still won't
approve, though.
But you kids put that aside to
stop a pissy god's rampage.
It was an excellent
demonstration
of what's possible
if we work as one.
I want to thank you all
for what you represent.
When you put it that way,
nearly dying sounds like
it was almost worth it.
Yeah, almost.
C'mon. It worked out in the end.
The real travesty is that there
weren't any fallen angels
around to make my
team look good.
[AKENO] Not true.
There was a fallen angel.
And it fought,
united with a devil.
Yes, she did.
You're right. I'm mistaken.
And I know one guy who'd
have been proud to see it.
[RIAS] We were all proud.
And still are.
[AZAZEL] On that note,
good news Issei!
[ISSEI]
Uh-oh.
[AZAZEL] I had some
business to take care of
back in the underworld.
Found out you've become
quite the celebrity there.
[ISSEI]
Celebrity like how?
Wow! That's wonderful
news, Issei!
It makes sense.
He did use Mjolnir to crush
Loki and save all of Hell.
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
They made a documentary
to showcase our
brave hero's greatest hits.
And then it went hell viral.
[ALL gasp]
In that case,
let me poke yo titties.
Huh?!
[ISSEI]
My power was unleashed
by poking my
master's headlights!
So, uh, not just basic
groping, but like...
I... can... suck on dem tittays?
This is for Rias and her
mammoth love melons!
[AZAZEL]
The fans especially love it
when you make
heroic exclamations
about things like boobies.
[RIAS]
Uh...
[AZAZEL] You are now known
as the Breast Dragon Emperor.
You're kidding!
Tell me you're joking.
[AZAZEL]
The kids love you most of all.
They sing songs about you
around their school yards
called "The Grabbin' Dragon."
Just k*ll me...
[IRINA]
Ooh, pick me!
I want to do the treasure hunt,
put me down for that!
All right. The next competition
is the three-legged race.
[DDRAIG cries]
[ISSEI]
C'mon, Ddraig, cheer up.
[DDRAIG] I am one of the
two heavenly dragons!
The name Red Dragon Emperor
used to strike fear
into the hearts of millions!
[ISSEI] Look, I'm
embarrassed, too, okay?
[DDRAIG] But now I'm the
"Breast Dragon Emperor"!
All hail "Grabbin'
Dragon"! [cries]
[ISSEI sighs] Who knew Ddraig
would be so sensitive?
Hasn't he ever heard that all
publicity is good publicity?
And as if I didn't have
enough to worry about,
that dude from Asia's past
has gone full blown stalker.
He missed his chance,
why won't he let it die?
Then again. I'm no better.
[KIRYUU]
Issei.
[ISSEI gasps]
That hole in your
armpit an air vent?
[ISSEI]
Don't tell me.
Wait, what? There's no hole.
[KIRYUU]
That's half our tripod!
[ISSEI groans]
That was dirty, even for you!
Only one-and-a-half
legs to go. Any takers?
Asia?
[KIRYUU]
Done deal!
[IRINA] You ready to
do this, Xenovia?
[XENOVIA] You bet.
Show me what you've got.
[IRINA pants]
[STUDENTS cheer]
[ISSEI] Hot damn!
Why am I impressed?
They're not normal girls.
Man, those chicks
don't slow they roll,
they gonna end up
with black eyes!
You're right! They keep it up,
they'll motorboat themselves!
With their pistons
pumping so hard,
it's impossible for us
to appreciate them!
--[STUDENT A] One-two.
--[MATSUDA] Big swigs.
--[STUDENT B] Three-four.
--[MOTOHAMA] And itty bitties!
Like a multiple choice test!
[BOTH]
Answers A through D!
Hey. Hyodo.
Saji! 'Sup?
[MATSUDA, MOTOHAMA]
Saji!
Not much. You?
Birdwatching,
titmouses to be exact.
[SAJI] Ah. Y'know,
I shoulda seen that coming.
So that your festival
event, or what?
No, I'm doin' the three-legged
race with Asia.
Well, aren't you just the
luckiest son of a bitch?
I got stuck in the
bread eating contest.
Saji. Shouldn't you
be doing something?
Seeing as you represent
the student council,
I expect you to win your
race. Get back to work.
Right! Uh. I was
getting hungry!
I always forget
how whipped he is.
[ASIA gasps]
[KIRYUU]
Wow, Asia!
You had quite the growth
spurt over the summer!
I'm flattered you noticed,
but can you please let go?
I'd be so into this
if it were happening to
any other girl but Asia.
Hey! You about
ready to practice?
Oh! Yeah! See you later.
Issei! Don't get a hard-on
because your bodies are
pressed against each other!
I'll stay soft by
thinkin' of you!
[ASIA] Are going to
be able to do this?
It looks really hard
if you're not in sync
with the other person.
[ISSEI] We'll be fine. Let's
show 'em how it's done!
[ASIA]
'Kay.
[ISSEI]
Ooh!
Is something wrong, Issei?
[ISSEI]
Uh... No way!
[ISSEI] I have to stay calm.
This is Asia, after all.
Baseball, Matsuda,
Aika Kiryuu!
[ISSEI] Yeah, so, let's
just take it slow for now.
Baby steps.
[gasps]
[ISSEI]
And inside, and--
Ah!
[ISSEI]
I guess we do need baby steps.
Her legs aren't as long as mine.
Um, Issei? You're hands, uh...
[ISSEI] Mm? Ah! Oh my god!
I am so sorry!
[ASIA yelps]
[ISSEI] Figures, I try and
save Asia from face-planting
and end up sliding
into second base.
Hey. You're not
hurt, are you?
All good, but next time?
Try to warn me before
you touch me like that
so I'm ready for it, okay?
That way, maybe both of
us can enjoy the moment.
[ISSEI] Wait, I can grope her
if I give her a heads up?!
How about we give
this another shot?
What's the point?
I'm just gonna slow you down.
C'mon. I can't do this without
you! We gotta be together.
You really mean that?
Sure do, it's you and me.
And we're gonna take
this one step at a time.
[ASIA]
Okay.
[ISSEI] Outside, inside,
outside, inside,
outside, inside,
outside, inside.
[ASIA]
Issei. I want to thank you
for everything
you've done for me.
Without you, I wouldn't
be getting married today.
[ISSEI]
Huh?
[MOTHER cries] Oh, Asia!
A beautiful bride!
[ISSEI]
Wait, Mom? Dad?
[RIAS]
Asia.
I'm so happy to see you
moving on with your life.
We all are.
You deserve to be happy,
don't worry about us.
Uh... Wait a sec.
What is this?
[MOTHER]
Don't be like that, Issei.
Don't you have something to
say to the blushing bride?
She is like a little
sister to you, isn't she?
[ISSEI] You can't just
spring this on me.
I mean... Who's the groom?
[DIODORA] Don't worry, brother.
I will make Asia happy.
After all, I am super rich.
And I'm high ranking,
so I'm clearly the best thing
that's ever happened to her.
Are you ready, my love?
"I do." With those
words, you'll be mine,
and I'll whisk you away.
I am. Goodbye, Issei.
I'm leaving with Diodora
to get hitched.
Thanks for everything,
but I don't need you
--anymore!
--[ISSEI] Asia!
[ISSEI] As you're platonic
older brother figure,
I can't let you
marry that assh*le!
Are you awake?
Did you have a bad dream?
It seemed like it.
You could say that.
I dreamt you were getting
married and leaving me.
How could you do
something like that?
It was just a dream, Issei,
you're okay. I'm not leaving.
And don't worry! I'm not
getting married yet, either.
You really mean that?
I think I'd die from
loneliness without you.
I do. There's no way
I could live with myself
if I caused you
that kind of pain.
That's... great.
[RIAS]
Mm. What's going on?
Rias?
[ASIA, RIAS gasp]
[ISSEI]
Oh. Whe did she get here?
[RIAS]
Koneko?
Meow.
[ISSEI]
Not to beat off a dead-horse,
but I'm so glad you're
not getting married.
As long as she rejects
the proposal.
[ISSEI]
Letters?
Love letters to be exact. All
sent by one Diodora Astaroth.
He's sent me something
every single day
since we bumped into
him in the street.
Movie tickets, dinner invites,
stuffed animals, chocolates,
flowers, car keys, the works.
I'm sorry.
You don't have to apologize
for a little crush.
Poor thing doesn't know
the way to a woman's heart.
What the hell's his problem?
He's a legit stalker!
It was bad enough he
proposed. Now this?
Anyway... How about
I get rid of these?
I would appreciate it.
Well, we kinda need
to get practicing
for the sports festival.
[RIAS]
Of course. Have fun.
[BOTH]
We will!
[RIAS] That expression.
Does he like....? [gasps]
What am I thinking?
Issei's always like that.
I shouldn't be worried.
[BOTH] In, out, in,
out, in, out, in, out!
Great! You guys
look really good.
[ISSEI]
Couldn't do it without you!
[ASIA] I feel bad we made
you help us practice.
[XENOVIA]
I'm happy to do it.
But we're not done.
Go for a light jog this time.
Cool. You ready
for this, partner?
Hello?
What's up?
You first.
Sorry.
I was thinking, I don't regret
saving Diodora back then.
He's the reason I'm
in Kuo Academy.
Where I found the
Occult Research Club,
and met all of my
friends, and you.
The people I love
more than anything.
If I hadn't saved him back then,
I wouldn't have any of you.
And when I think
about it like that,
I feel so happy about
the whole thing.
[ISSEI]
You're right.
And we're always going
to be together, Asia.
Yeah.
That was so tender.
Irina? How long have
you been here?
A bit. Xenovia told me yesterday
that the school grounds
are really lovely in
the early mornings.
And boy was she right!
I never expected to see
such beautiful friendship!
Your affection could
only be the product
of God and Lord Michael's will.
Amen!
[ASIA sighs]
I am worn out!
[ISSEI]
Me, too.
Let's get changed
and take a break.
--[door closes]
--[ISSEI] Uh! Xenovia?
[ASIA] What are you doing?
Is something the matter?
Asia. I found something out.
Has anyone told you
about this, yet?
Girls our age are beginning to
have secret affairs with boys.
[ISSEI]
Huh?
No, I didn't know that.
[XENOVIA] We should have what's
called a "Devil's Threesome."
I've heard of that... maybe?
Look, I don't know what
you think that means,
but trust me on this, you're
wrong on so many levels.
Asia. There isn't much time.
We'll have to do this quickly if
we want it to remain a secret.
I didn't realize we were
on some sort of deadline!
Of course we are!
The devil's threesome will also
improve your three legged race.
It's the rule of threes!
Does not apply to that!
Come on.
If we can't do it with
friends, why bother?
Yeah.
That's why we should
do it together!
Yeah, uh! That makes
sense I think?
[ISSEI] No. None of
that makes sense.
[XENOVIA]
Let's get started, then.
I'll benefit from this
as well by training
my baby-making skills.
Hold on! You wanna do this here?
First off, you got your
terminology wrong,
you want to ride the tricycle,
which would be a
dream come true! B...!
It's not the first time
you've tried this.
You get off on situations
like this, don't you?
Never mind, I don't
want to know...
[XENOVIA]
Your turn, Asia.
[ASIA]
Right. My turn.
Y'know, the more
I think about it,
I don't know if I'm
ready for this yet.
[XENOVIA]
Up!
[ASIA]
Xenovia!
[ISSEI grunting]
No, wait! Wa, ha!
Can we talk about this?
She's right! I'm ready!
I won't be showed up by
the other girls anymore!
[XENOVIA sighs]
Oh wow, being touched by you
feels completely different
than when I touch myself.
Keep going.
Asia and I are ready to
give ourselves to you.
Do whatever you want.
[ISSEI gasps]
"Do whatever I want"?
That's my favorite sentence
in the whole entire world!
No! I swore I would
protect Asia!
Gotta stop, but my hand...
Tensing up! I'm gonna squeeze!
Ah!
You guys never came back out,
so I was worried
something had happened!
But this?!
[ISSEI]
U-Uh... Irina!
Geez! At least do it in bed!
This place is filthy,
who knows what diseases
you could catch here!
[ISSEI]
Valid.
[KIBA]
A rating game?
[RIAS]
That's right. More specifically,
it's a tournament designed
to test and rank
the power of the next
generation of devils.
It was supposed to be held
over the summer break,
but then Loki att*cked, and
you all know how that ended up.
No, I don't wanna,
I'm too scared!
If this game's meant to rank us,
does that mean we'll be
going up against Sairaorg?
Yes, and he's one favored
to win the championship.
With good reason, too,
he's on a whole other level.
Fortunately for us, though,
we're not paired up against
him in the first round.
They've already chosen
the brackets. That's whack.
That's right. We're fighting...
Diodora Astaroth.
[BOTH gasp]
[ISSEI]
Diodora...
[ASIA]
Uh...
f*ck that guy.
So how 'bout it, Issei?
Don't you think looks
amazing on me?
Oh, deal with it already.
He's way more into my girls!
[KONEKO]
Do you like this look?
No, so many mixed emotions!
Not, like you!
It's my turn, now.