ah. Crap.
Come on.
Jakey?
What is all this?
Are you homeless?
No, no. I. I'm just going through
some personal things at home,
and I had to sleep in the car.
Okay.
Can you let me in so I can get some coffee?
Fine. But just this one time.
Do I make myself clear?
Yeah, yeah. Crystal.
Okay.
I'll be back. Okay.
You're a bloody wuss, Jake.
Yes, you.
It's too early for this.
When are you going to
learn to stand up for yourself?
Just shut up.
Jakey. Hmm?
Are you insane?
What are you doing?
Oh no, that was for someone else?
For someone else.
Who else is here? Hello?
I. Im just, you know, caffeine deprived
okay, well, you're also Joe now.
Who's Joe?
The last idiot I fired.
Jake is my third husband.
Fourth.
Whats that sweetie.
Jake ass is your fourth husband.
I forgot, Brad.
Fat nerd ball.
Anyway.
So
My daughter Casey here was competing
in the little miss sunshine beauty pageant.
And I won.
Let mama finish her story, baby.
What I did.
I know that, baby. But
it's very important for you.
Let me get my story out
fine.
I'm out of here.
She's at that awkward age.
So I was laying by the pool.
At mar-a-lago and Jake walked
by, and he was wearing a speedo.
And he had moves like Jagger,
and he had looks of Patrick Swayze.
And I thought to myself,
now he is dirty dancing
husband material
But sadly, he's like every other man.
That I have married.
It was a successful PR
agent when I first met him.
He was working for major
corporations and celebrities,
and now he is building pyramids.
He's stacking them with cat
food cans and toilet paper rolls.
At this two bit grocery store.
It's just it's just humiliating. It
its awful.
How was that?
You're a natural.
Now, if we can only do
something about your roots.
How long have you been married, Jake?
13 years. Hmm.
That's not a very lucky number.
Ee
You ever tried counseling or therapy?
You ever tried counseling or therapy?
No. My wife Ellie doesn't
believe in counseling.
Oh, you know, that sounds like my father
before him and my mother got divorced.
Yeah.
Counseling is a sign of weakness.
Oh, no, no, no. I never
said anything about divorce.
I believe in marriage
is for better or worse.
Jakey, here you are, showing up to
work with scratches and blood all over you.
You use a Cpap machine, and
now you are living out of your car.
It doesn't get worse for you.
And you know what you need?
You need to grow a pair of these, jakey.
Right here.
All right.
Oh, my goodness.
Hey, tigger.
I run a grocery store
here, not a bunny ranch.
I want to see you and Howard
back to work, please, and thank you.
Chop.
Chop.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Jake, what are you doing?
Getting more coffee.
What does it say?
Scotty.
Underneath, Scotty.
Store manager.
Mm hmm. And don't you forget it.
I want you to finish that TP display
that you were working on yesterday.
You remember that? And
then you can get more coffee.
Thank you.
Good morning Mr. Rush. Scotty.
Oh, my goodness.
This hair, everything about it.
Gorgeous. Beautiful.
It's going to look even
better in the grocery store.
Go show it off, girl.
Yep.
Yeah.
You see that?
I can do that sort of thing,
because unlike you, I know who
wears the pants in my marriage.
Back to work, please.
No, no.
Little boy.
No.
I'm just reading what's on my clipboard.
Paula.
Thats the coward way out, Jake.
You think you're the only one
whose life is crumbling around you?
I guarantee everyone in this
store is facing some sort of dilemma.
That includes the pretty blond cherub
with the big blue eyes.
She does resemble an angel.
Why, thank you bright eyes.
Crystal. Well, what are you doing here?
Checking on you.
You haven't been in any meetings lately?
Yeah, I've been, you know, working a lot.
Your wife gave you those sketches.
Huh? Oh, no, no, I.
I fell out of my attic.
Details.
Well, yeah, I was up in my attic.
I was looking for my old art
supplies because I thought
if I get back into painting,
you'll be good for my soul.
And I.
Ellie, she kind of locked the door, and
there was just no other way out for me.
So.
There's always a way out. Bright eyes.
It's just gotta know when to exit.
So how did that gnome wind
up in the hood of your car?
I'll tell you, I threw that name
at Jake because he's a perv.
That's why.
So this one that I was home alone watching.
Here comes honey boo boo.
There was no food in the house
except for a leftover rotisserie chicken.
That I already ate.
And so I was stuck in
whatever meat was left
on one of the wings, and a bone got
stuck in my throat and I couldn't breathe.
So I passed out.
And when I came to, Jake was
standing over me, pressing on my chest
and blowing air into my mouth.
It was like, totally gross. Like.
Like weird uncle gross.
I mean, he's supposed to be my father.
Where the hell that is?
Hey mama.
Mama we are outta cheese puffs.
You almost finished, jakey.
Yeah. Almost.
Hey Howard one second, please.
Jake, while you're up there,
would you clean that light for me?
Be a doll.
Ee
Whoa!
Clean up, aisle six.
Get. Out.
Paula.
Jakey.
What am I going to do with you?
It was an accident.
No, no, no. Oh, well, I
thought it was on purpose.
No, you're a klutz, jakey.
You are a middle aged klutz.
Why don't you just fire me, then?
Oh, yeah.
And allow you to get
unemployment from the government.
No, no, no. I don't think so.
Get back to work.
I want to see all this teepee in a pyramid
when I come back here in 5 minutes.
Jake.
Hey tigger.
What's your favorite poison here?
Well, my favorite poison is not here.
He's over there.
You seem happy.
I'm not just happy, Jake.
I'm over the moon. Happy.
Divorcing Sam is one of the
best things I could have done.
I didn't know you and Sam having problems.
That's because I knew
how to put on a good front.
So one day I woke up and realized.
Time waits for no one
learned to put myself first.
Here.
Have a bear claw.
Theyre Howies favorite.
Thanks
A bear claw Jake?
Careful.
I don't think Ellie likes muffin tops.
I left my wallet in the car.
$0.50.
Here's $0.48.
$0.50.
Paula, why don't you
just put the $0.02 in like
you always do, and
we'll call it a day, okay?
Ee
That was pretty funny
what you told Paula earlier.
Yeah, it's funny now, but I'm sure
Paula is casting a spell on me as a speak
you okay, Mr. Rush.
Yeah, I just have this.
Just this back spasm. Thing.
Oh.
Count your blessings.
All that toilet paper blocked your fall.
It couldve been a lot worse.
Saw that?
Here, give me that.
Just lean back and relax,
okay?
Does that feel good.
Oh, yeah, it feels great.
Your muscles are wound tighter.
Than a slinky toy.
When's the last time you had a massage?
Oh, gosh, I can't remember.
Well, it's really important.
It stimulates blood flow and
moves toxins out of your body.
Not to mention the human touch
is known to help with depression.
Oh, should.
Should be a nurse.
I am, kinda.
How so?
Umm.
Well my mom was in a really
horrible car accident years ago.
And after my daddy and my brother
split, there's no one to
take care of her except me.
Have a nice day.
Check it out.
Paula. You're wicked.
Not as wicked is Ellie.
I can never leave her.
You know, she's all I got.
Her and my boyfriend, rusty.
It's really nice.
I should get back to my register.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, me too.
Thanks.
Yep.
You're walking a fine line, jakey.
I'm on a break.
Breaks over, so get back to work.
Really wish you wouldnt do that.
Oh, it's one of the perks
of being a manager.
Jakey. Comes with the job
as store manager of the yellow bird.
What's your natural color?
My what?
Your hair. What color is it?
Its blond of course.
Oh, my god.
You know, with your complexion
and those gorgeous Hazel eyes.
You know what would really make them pop
a nice, warm ginger shade?
Ee
Yeah.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
You see this right here?
Yeah. Grab it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
I'm impressed, Scotty.
You keep a secret.
I've always wanted to be a hairdresser.
What stopped you.
Oh, my father.
You know, he calls that a sissy job.
And get this, he owns ten of these stores.
Ten of them.
Expects me to take care of every
single one of them when he's gone.
You married?
Yes, I'm married.
Happily?
I can't complain, doll.
Pity.
You know, Scotty, the hottie.
I'm a hot commodity.
That's what they say.
Ellie!
Shhh.
Just put this on Jakes tab.
Wait. Is everything okay at home?
Yeah.
Well, what have you heard?
I have not heard anything.
But I saw something.
Uh-huh.
I know.
I know. I'm sorry.
Hellooo gorgeous.
Hey, Doug, how have you been?
Better now that I'm talking to you?
What's up?
Listen, I need a little
bit of legal advice.
Only I have all my money tied up
in this reality show that I'm sh**ting.
Keeping up with the Kardashians. Are you?
You always did say that I
was good at keeping things up.
That you are.
Don't worry that pretty
little head of yours doll.
In lieu of money,
I'll take it out in trade.
Thank you.
Pardon me, but where
can I find the gray poupon?
Go away. Gnome.
Oh, now I'm a gnome?!?
Sorry, Steve. I thought
you're someone else.
Well, what the hell?
You change your name or what?
No, I. Bird crapped on me.
It's a long story. What are you doing here?
I thought you left Bailey heights.
Yeah, uh.
I gotta put my mom in a home.
Yeah, I'm in the same situation, but
she does want to leave her Winnebago.
What about you leaving your home?
I don't know. Winnebago.
Your home.
Jake, I just ran into
Ellie in the parking lot.
What the hell is wrong
with that woman? So what?
Jesus Christ, she's not the
same woman you married.
I'll tell you that right now.
People change.
Did her daughter change?
Or is she still built like
Jabba the hutt, right?
No, it's not funny.
It's not funny, Jake.
Seriously, you got to do something, man.
Look at you.
I swear to god, you need to do something.
You're not the same guy I knew.
You used to be adventurous.
Used to be fun.
You used to be good looking.
Alright, Steve.
You can stop any time.
I realize I need to change.
Yeah.
When?
Soon.
I'm going to hold you to it, alright.
Let's grab a beer one night. Alright.
Hang out.
Bird dog some chicks later.
Sure.
Your friends, right Jake.
You need to do something before
your wife send you to an early grave.
That or drives you crazy.
Im not gonna let that happen.
That's what they all say.
Until you find yourself
locked up in a padded room
wearing a straight jacket.
Straight jacket? Don't you
think that's a bit extreme?
You're talking to a ceramic gnome.
You tell me.
Still here.
I'm going to just throw you in the trash.
Who are you talking to jakey?
No one.
I was just counting how many
more ketchup bottles I had to stack.
Okay, well, when you're done with
that, I want to see you in my office.
Okay? Okay.
Say it with your chest, please.
Okay.
The long angled Bob, also known
as a graduated Bob, is
flattering and versatile.
It frames your face
beautifully and looks great.
More an either straight or wavy.
And who can forget the famous
Farrah doo from the seventies?
That is so cute.
It's open.
Scotty, you wanted to see me?
Yeah.
Do you own a suit, Jake?
Yeah. Of course I own a suit.
Well, I want you to
wear it to work tomorrow.
My father's coming by, so
we're going to see if he can boot
your middle ass up the corporate
ladder at a different location.
Serious.
Huh? Yeah. No, I'm just messing with you.
Oh. Gee, thanks, Scotty.
That's really okay.
Yeah, okay, well,
you can.
We can go now.
What the?!?
Ellie!
Have you gone mad?
Damn straight?
I'm mad at you, and
I am filing for divorce.
What's. What's triggered this on?
Oh, dont act like you've
been living under a rock, Jake.
This has been a long time coming.
Perv.
Shut Casey.
Mama, he hollered at me.
Do not talk to my baby girl that way.
She's not a baby girl.
She's a grown woman who's got nothing.
Nothing.
If you keep feeding your
ego like she's a beauty queen.
I am a queen.
No, you're not, Casey.
You're an overnight recluse with
no plans or purpose in your life.
Oh, this isn't the pot
calling the kettle black.
When I first met you, you
said you were comfortable.
I was comfortable.
I had a nice little nest egg
that was going to last me
all the way to retirement.
And so you keep putting
your hand in the cookie jar.
This is golden.
Who are you?
I'm Harper. Ellie hired
me to film the reality show.
Why are you making a reality show?
So I can let everybody know
how you use and abused me.
How on earth did I use or abuse you?
I give you everything you ever wanted.
Oh. Not everything.
Oh, really? Uh-huh.
What was it that was
missing from your life, Ellie.
Respect!
When we moved to Bailey
heights, you said we were taking off
and we were going to palm beach.
I can't help it if my mother got sick.
Sick in her head.
Ellie, that's so unfair.
She has Alzheimer's.
It's. It's not her fault if
she can't remember things.
So what's your excuse?
Oh, wait a minute.
Oh, wait a minute.
You're a blacked out drunk.
Now I am filing for divorce,
and I do not want you to come
one step closer to that house.
You're forgetting one thing, Ellie.
It's my house.
Oh, no. Not for long.
My lawyer says you do
not have one leg to stand on.
Lawyers cost money.
He is pro bono.
Is he?
So you're offering him something
in exchange for his services?
Slap him again.
Get out.
I just want to know. What
the hell triggered all this!
Youre affair!
What are you talking about?
Oh, did not play dumb, Jake.
Everybody knows Paula and
tigger and everybody knows
about your Becky skank.
And I have proof.
Proof? Yes!
Proof. I've got pictures, Jake.
Pictures. Right? Here she is
and shes rubbing your back
right here in front of the store.
And that just disgusts me.
Now let loose of my arm, before
I slap you with a restraining order.
Perv! Perv!
Perv! Perv!
That was some show your
wife put on earlier dude.
Yeah.
Well, he's always been a
bit of a drama queen, but
never this bad.
Hey, you should talk
to Freddie the butcher.
His cousin's a lawyer. Works dirt cheap.
Yeah, yeah, got me out of three DUlis.
And a grand theft auto attempt.
Cars was in the shop at the time,
ready stud?
Im always ready for you, babe.
Mr. Rush? Yeah?
Um.
I hope I'm not the cause
of the ruin of your marriage.
Oh no Becky, our
marriage is already in ruins.
I just thought, maybe I.
Maybe I could salvage. It, but I know.
Oh, that's so sad.
My mom said the same
thing before her accident.
I'm sure I'll work something out.
It'll be fine.
I hope so.
See ya. Bye.
Big perv! Babe! Oh my god.
I get that a lot.
I bet you could use a drink now, huh Jake?
There is women on death row.
Nicer than those two nasty trolls.
You were living with.
You have a game plan?
Not yet.
Better figure one out, you're
not getting any younger.
Just saying
gotta go see my mom.
Fred! Fred, wake up! Mom, nope, nope.
Theres a burglar. Mom. No, no, no.
Mom, dad dead. It's just me.
It's just me, your son. Oh.
Oh, that's too bad.
Jakey, what are you doing here?
Mark, I just.
I have an interview in the morning,
and I just need a good night's sleep.
So, uh,
Ellie, finally gave you the boot, did she?
Yeah.
Oh.
Ow. What did you do that for?
For marrying that bloodsucking
leech in the first place?
Oh.
Ill warm up some lasagne for you.
Wow mom, I've never
known you to make lasagna.
This is. This is really great.
Well, I didn't make it.
Marie did.
Who's Marie?
Calendar.
Right.
Helen Schwartz has been doing
most of my grocery shopping. Now.
You remember Helen? Yes.
She was married to.
Oh, dear lord. Dale?
What's his name? Dale. No, that's not it.
No. Helen Schwartz's husband, Dale.
I never heard it.
Oh, well, what are you doing?
I'm putting a cup of tea.
No, no, no. That's a sugar bowl.
Thats a sugar bowl. Ill get you a cup.
Potato. Potato.
Here you go.
So Ellie is getting a lawyer?
Yeah, she says she's getting one.
Are you going to get one?
Yeah, I'm working on it.
Lawyers cost money.
Yeah, I know. Mom.
Do you want me to sell the Winnebago?
No, no, no, no. But.
But, you know, it would be.
It'd be nice if you could move
somewhere a little less cramped.
I don't want to go into a home.
Yeah, no, I don't want that either.
I just think.
But I would if it would mean
being less of a burden on you.
You're not a burden on me. Mom.
Okay.
You never have been. Never will be.
Look, uh,
do you have any of pop's old
suits or anything lying around?
Yes. I do.
Oh, that's pretty.
This looks like something
out of a jazzercise video.
Oh.
Oh, that's.
That's pop's favorite hat.
Oh, cool.
How come you got so
much of pop's his old clothes?
Oh, because it reminds me he's still here.
Oh, don't get this the wrong way, mom.
But didn't you and pop's
kind of, you know, get it.
That we hated each other.
There was a lot of good
mixed in with the bad
when it came to me and your father, jakey.
But he was always my yellow bird.
Did you say yellow bird? Mm hmm.
What do you mean? Like where I work?
I don't know where you work.
Well, I just work just
across the way there.
We used to go shopping there. When?
When I was younger.
We did? Yeah.
Every Thursday night, pops
would get his paycheck and we'd go
grocery shopping at the yellow bird.
Helen Schwartz shops for me now.
Uh.
Right? Yes.
So what's this about the yellow bird again?
The yellow bird, jakey.
It defines a person's true love.
The one person they can't live without.
If you find that joy,
you are the luckiest person in the world.
And if you don't, you're eternally screwed.
Oh. Oh, I like that one.
Yeah.
Me too.
What are you looking. For, mom?
Oh, I'm getting you a blanket.
That's the fridge.
So it is
ah ha.
Oh. Thanks.
What did your father do for a living?
He was a salesman, but, uh, he
was also a degenerate gambler.
Basically b*rned
through all his life savings.
And by the time he
d*ed, he left my mom with.
With this.
I rather like this place.
It's all so compact.
Funny thing is, mom always said
not to end up like your old man.
Pissing my life away. But.
But how'd that work out for you?
You know, you're very
opinionated, arent you?
Who are you talking to? Jakey?
Oh, no one.
Oh.
Sometimes I worry about you.
Thanks.
Sleep tight.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
But if they do, there's a
can of raid under the sink.
Today is going to be
a great day, my friend.
Who said we're friends.
Of you looking like a
member of the rat pack.
Look at you. Looking like
a member of the rat pack.
Well, like you always said tigger.
Sometimes you've got to put yourself first.
And I finally realized that's
what I'm going to do in life.
Ellie is a fool to let you get away.
Thank you.
I always thought you deserve better.
Thank you. Mr. Rush.
I can't apologize enough
for the way rusty treats you.
Oh, look, Becky, honestly,
it doesn't bother me at all.
It bothers me.
He bothers me.
I can't take it no more.
I'm sure you figure something out.
I don't want to.
I can't spend the rest of my
life with someone who didn't
even listen to me, you know?
Oh, well,
you'll figure it out.
Right. Grrr.
Don't even think about that.
What?
What are you talking about?
Girls like that love to
lure men like you in, huh?
Only thing is, it never works out.
Well, you know, it's sort of
like going out after midnight,
if you catch my drift.
Scotty, I'm old enough to be your father.
And that is the perfect age gap for girls
with daddy issues.
Jake.
Is this your suit?
Yeah.
What's wrong with it? Oh, my goodness.
This is his suit.
You look like a half clown, half magician.
Oh, my goodness.
Tigger, we don't have time for this.
Jake, we need to get
in my office right now.
My father is waiting for us.
Would you get some
coffee and pastries for us?
Stat, please. In my office.
Let's go, Jake.
Go.
Good lord.
What the hell. Where is the crayons
and the coloring book with this chair.
Come in.
Oh, good morning, pops.
Morning, son.
I'll take. Take a seat, Jake.
All right, great. You
guys are both sitting.
How the hell do you work with this chair?
I feel like I'm four years old,
looking over a counter or something.
Yeah, well, I work with what I have.
Dad, it's not a great
chair. I'm my own secretary.
That's how it is.
Why is this so heavy?
My roster shows that you have one.
Maggie Ryan, as your secretary.
Maggie RY.
Oh, Maggie's right.
No, she quit.
How come?
She had no sense of humor?
You must be Mr. Rush.
Yes, but you can call me Jake.
Ah. Lawrence Finley.
It's a pleasure. And by
the way, I like your suit.
Thanks.
Coffee, sir.
Oh, please, please.
Cream and sugar.
Black.
So uh.
Scotty here tells me that you
used to own your own PR firm.
Yes, a very successful one.
Oh, oh, oh, thank you.
Thank you,
thank you.
So um.
So just tell me, Jake.
What uh?
What happened?
Oh, yeah, just life.
Well, translated.
He means wife.
So, Jake, I'm curious if someone
that has worked in public relations,
what suggestions do you have to increase
the business at this yellow bird location?
Oh, yeah.
I think, uh, if you really want
to spike it and increase sales,
I think introducing a
home delivery service.
That is not going to happen.
Allow him to finish. Scotty.
Okay. Yeah. Jake, finish.
Up. Yeah, well, you know,
take my mom, for instance.
You know, she's elderly now, so she
doesn't get out and do her own shopping.
She relies on somebody
else to do it for her.
Or you have, you know, single mom or dad
who are too busy to go to a grocery store
on a daily basis. I mean,
and just how would you
order how would you do that?
Well, I think we could add a special insert
in the circulars that go
out on a weekly basis
or they could go to the website
and order on the website.
Jake? The website?
We don't have a website. Jake.
Uh, oh.
We don't? No.
Um.
Mr. Finley do the other yellow
bird stores have websites?
Well, the ones in a major Metropolis
do, but this yellow bird doesnt.
Well, with all due respect,
sir, I mean, most people in
these rural areas have access
to the Internet or mobile phones
or an iPad, which they
call their best friend.
Oh, jakey, is that what you
call your devices, your friends?
Oh, that is sad.
That so sad.
So, Jake, any other
suggestions you might have?
Oh, well,
I think, you know, the staff
could use a bit of a facelift.
It still looks exactly the same as it
did when I used to come here as a kid
and, you know, maybe introducing
rewards campaign you know coupons
like the green stamps used to have.
Like food stamps.
That's food stamps.
Jake, that's food stamps.
That's food stamps.
Jake,
what is your current position
here at the yellow bird?
Uh.
Its um.
Stock boy. Stock. Umm.
I call him my whipping boy.
It's usually with the clipboard.
Right Jake. Tell him.
It's usually, yeah. On the butt.
Just.
Scotty, we could share the office.
Oh, wouldn't that be cozy?
Jake, I don't want to
share an office with you.
I don't even want to share
the same store as you.
Come on.
What was that all about?
Scotty's dad just made Jake store manager.
Okay.
Scotty!
Scotty!
Scotty.
This is too small a store
to have this much tension.
Yeah, well, you should
have thought about that
before you accepted my father's offer.
It was your idea for me to meet with him.
Yeah, because I felt
sorry for your pathetic old,
tired ass.
Never dreaming you
would s*ab me in the back.
Jake!
You're a bloody wuss, Jake.
When are you going to
learn to stand up for yourself?
Scotty!
I may be tired, I may be
old, but I'm no longer pathetic.
And I am your manager.
If you've got a problem with that,
then I will gladly, gladly
reassign to another store.
Do I make myself clear?
Crystal?
Another thing is no longer be needing this.
Keep an eye on the store.
I'm going out to lunch.
Howard,
give me my clipboard back.
Howard.
Okay.
Did you get a promotion? Yeah.
Then why the long face?
I dont know.
I feel like I stepped on
someone's toes to get there.
It's a dog eat dog world, Jake.
Remember that.
You going to have a drink to celebrate.
To play with my sobriety.
Because you're such an easy target.
I love me a man with strong backbone.
The problem with Jake is
he is a spineless, pushover.
Well the perfect example is
he didn't even go
look for a better job before he took
that loser position at the yellow bird.
We get lots of freebies, though.
Their fried chicken is to die for.
Your mama doesn't eat fried chicken, Casey.
Well, you don't know what you're missing.
Ugh.
You said, Jake.
Was mean to you. Do you mean physically?
Oh, no.
But I read somewhere how mental
anguish is equivalent to physical abuse.
Casey knows I used to get my hair
done at the beauty salon once a week.
Now I can't even afford that.
You are paying me today, right?
Um. Hmm?
Casey.
Casey!
Get back here.
Why doesn't anybody ever listen to me?
Cut! Nice job.
No. People suck. Jake
sucks, and all of my exs suck.
And Rosa sucks.
This pink towel!
Whos Rosa?
Rosa is only the worst housekeeper
on the planet, and she doesn't
even speak a lick of English.
I cant stand it. I swear.
I speak seven languages.
That's make me a polyglot
as for Ellie?
She's
malvada.
that is Spanish for evil.
I was her nanny before she met Mr. Rush
her housekeeper, and
then was nanny for Casey.
I came with a divorce
settlement from previous marriage.
I used to call Casey,
cerdita.
that's Spanish for piggy.
I used to call them a lot of
things for making fun of me.
But neither one of them
knew what I was saying.
I was about to quit when
Mr. Rush came into the picture.
He wasn't like others. Sap, Ellie married.
He had heart and genuine
feeling for her and little miss piggy.
God only know why
Ellie cheat on Mr. Rush for years.
I never say anything, but I did warn him.
I say
if you stay with these women,
they eat you up alive.
Especially cerdita.
I mean, I've been collecting.
These recovery coins so long, I
could open my own bingo joint.
Sell them as chips.
But all I got. Yeah.
You look handsome.
Bright eyes.
Thank you. I just been promoted to manager.
You go, girl.
When are you going to
leave your wife and marry me?
Well, since the divorce
come through, will be off.
Famous last words.
Jake.
We haven't seen you in a while.
You've been following the steps.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do my best.
Don't slip up.
It's a long journey to get back.
On the right path.
Yeah.
So. Yeah,
um. Hi, everyone.
Hi Jake.
Um.
So as some of you know
I've been going through a lot of
drama in my personal life.
Um. It's felt a lot like being
swept up in a tornado,
never knowing when you can land.
When you do, you
wake up dazed, confused
when you feel you're going to find any.
A sense of normality.
Now
to be honest, I. Umm.
I really feel like getting
wasted sometimes.
You know, just a
just don't have to deal with all
this crap that keeps hitting the fan.
But I gotta have faith
that theres gonna be a
rainbow waiting for me at the end when
this storm finally clears.
Anyway.
That's it.
I really like the wizard of
oz reference bright eyes,
and I truly hope the yellow brick
road leads you to your yellow bird.
Did you say yellow bird. Yes.
But I'm not talking about that
schlock grocery store you work out.
It means the one. True
person you can't live without.
Yeah.
Thats funny, my mom just told
me. Cant believe I've never heard of it.
That's the beauty of being sober, babe.
You become aware of all
the things he close to ears
and eyes to when you
were higher than a kite.
Wish me luck.
She seems like a nice girl.
Jake! Pay attention.
These are the overhead lights.
These are all the department lights.
Okay, this is deli.
This is fish. This is meat.
This is bakery and this is produce.
All right.
And you have 30 seconds after entering
the security code to exit and lock up.
Otherwise, it will leave the
security company you don't want that.
She is all yours, boss.
Scotty, you know, I
specialize in public relations.
So how long to talk to your father
and try and work something out
so that, you know, maybe
you stay the manager or.
No, no. I keep doing what I'm doing.
Jake, you have done me a huge favor.
I don't have to listen to any
more of these whiny employees.
No more ticked off
customers, not to mention
getting up at the cr*ck of dawn
to open up this thing place. No
you are store manager, Jake.
Well done.
Oh. Oh.
Scotty.
Scotty, you didn't give
me the code for the alarm
Oh. Thanks.
All, done?
What does this note say?
Thanks.
Sorry Im late Mr. Rush.
Oh, is everything okay? Um.
I broke up with rusty.
So I had to call my friend Amber
for a ride. Ill hurry to my register.
Just take your time, okay?
Oh, come in.
What a dump.
So you got my message?
Im here arent I?
Well, what do you think?
You want to work here?
Define work?
Well, umm.
You can help manage my office
and filing things, stuff like that.
I like your girl Friday.
Yeah, yeah, like my girl Friday.
I don't know bright eyes.
I don't really play well with others.
Look, if anyone gives you
any grief, you just let me know
and I'll take care it.
So what do you say?
I say we replace that Scotty
guys, picture with yours.
That sounds good.
Scotty.
I'm just popping out for a bit, so can you.
Keep an eye on things?
Yeah, I know it's been a running
routine with you lately, Jake.
What's in that bag?
None of your business.
Jakey.
My father owns the store.
It is literally my business.
Look.
If you're so sick of working here
and you don't like it,
why don't you just quit?
Jake?
Are you deaf?
Mike my dad owns the store.
So what?
I forget about your father.
What is it that you want to do?
What would make you happy?
You wouldn't understand, Jake.
Try me. Convince me.
I do actually want to know
what would make you happy.
Eh.
Mom, I get you some groceries.
What are you looking for? The keys.
The keys?
The keys to this monstrosity.
I want to drive cross-country.
Just like your father promised me.
Mom, your license expired ten years
ago, and you're in no condition to drive.
Then why am I even alive?
Where did this come from?
Oh, a real handsome gentleman.
He look like Robert Goulet.
Did you sign for this?
Does Robert Goulet still perform? No.
Because your father promised
me that we were going to see him.
In man of la mancha on Broadway.
Him and Steven. Eddie
in Las Vegas. Oh, and.
And Sammy Davis Jr
mom. Mom.
Robert Goulet
Sammy Davis Jr, Eydie Gorme.
Whoever they are. Steve and Eddie.
Mom! Did you sign for this?
Where are the gloves, bright eyes?
I don't want to catch anything.
Namely a disease.
Aisle eight, I think.
Yeah.
What's wrong?
Well,
Ellie, sent the divorce papers in
and now my mother signed
them, and now the clock is ticking.
So I'm. Calling your lawyer.
No I have to call my housekeeper.
Deep breaths, bright eyes.
You're going to give
yourself worry lines. To late.
Tough crowd.
Oh, hello, Rosa.
This is Jake rush.
Yeah. I'm Ellie's husband.
Yeah, I'm still married to her.
Look, can you do me a favor?
Can you take care of my mother for.
Hello?
Hello?
Come on.
What the hell?
I work here.
Yeah, right. You're kind works the streets.
Oh. Whoa. What's going on?
You're carny folk cashier here
accused me of stealing these gloves.
Oh, I'm the carny folk? Yeah.
What's that make you a freak nature.
To see what I mean?
This will never work.
Whoa, whoa, hey.
Crystal. Crystal, please.
Please come back.
Paula, I hired crystal to help me
with the office management. Okay.
Ha! Jake?
I never had anyone help me
organize when I was store manager.
No, you did, Scotty.
Her name was Maggie Ryan. Remember her?
She quit because you whacked her on the ass
with that clip board of
yours one too many times.
Just the same way
you've whacked the majority.
Everyone standing here.
But they were too afraid to say
anything in case you fired them.
Am I right?
I asked you all a question. I'm all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Okay.
So we all don't have to be friends, okay?
But we do need to work together.
My job as the manager of the
yellow bird is to create the best
working environment possible.
If you don't like it, there's the door
alright?
Paula?
There's something I want to say to crystal.
Sorry, miss.
Me too.
You're a man of your word, bright eyes.
Thanks for defending me.
It. It will get better. Um.
I have to go.
Sorry. She uh.
She does that.
I'm Becky.
Crystal.
Thats a pretty name.
Thanks. I picked it out after my change.
What did you change?
I was born Craig.
Oh.
Oh! Like?
Oh, wow!
I never would have guessed.
Well, as Dolly Parton says, it takes
a lot of money to look this cheap
no. I think you look really pretty.
Thank you.
How'd you meet Mr. Rush?
We met in AA.
Like, like the meetings?
Uh. No, like the batteries.
Oh. Oh, okay.
Because I thought, like.
Freddy?
Hey! Sorry. Sorry.
You could lose your head
sneaking up on me like that.
Yeah. Oh, sorry.
Whatever.
I dont think we have met.
I'm Jake, the new manager.
Yeah, I know.
I saw your name above
the urinal in the men's room.
This Jake rush is a wuss.
Well, you know, he can't be everyone's
friend when you're the new boss.
Pish. Boss? When I think of a boss.
I think of fat Tony two
shoes or my cousin Vinny,
not somebody who's
afraid of their own shadow.
I'm not afraid of my own shadow.
You were saying?
Is, is your cousin Vinny the
same Vinny who's a lawyer?
What's it to you?
Well, I was talking to Howie before
and I mentioned I need some legal advice.
Would you k*ll somebody?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm just going through a divorce.
Good luck.
I've been trying to divorce my
old lady for the past 25 years,
and she won't go away.
You want me to give Vinny a ring?
Uh. Yes. That would be great. Yeah.
Alright. Okay.
Becky, youre still here?
Yeah.
Um waiting on my friend
Amber to pick me up.
She's running late.
She's a manager at the dollar store.
Oh. Do you want me to give you a ride home?
I mean, that's probably not the best idea
with the whole Paula
thing and your divorce.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you're welcome to keep
me company till Amber shows up.
Okay? Don't do that.
Can I ask you a personal question?
sh**t.
Um.
Is your mother an alcoholic?
I don't know.
My mother's past,
but I do know since the accident,
she is dependent on painkillers.
Those and diet coke.
What's her name?
Mary Jane.
But her nickname was MJ
MJ Dooley?
Yeah.
That was her maiden name.
I just know that.
Well.
I. Uh.
I. I dated her high school.
No way.
Yes, way.
And we, look. Use to
talk about running away and
leaving Bailey heights together.
And what happened?
I went to college, and
by the time I got back.
She was married to your father? I guess.
That's so crazy.
You could have been my father.
Yeah.
When did uh.
What did your parents separate?
Oh, I was in grade school, but my mom
says their marriage was on the rocks.
Before I was even born.
So. Why do you ask?
Just.
Just curious.
There's Amber.
It's good talking to you, Mr. Rush.
Likewise.
Hey, bozo. Hey,
Heeey.
Welcome back, rip Van winkle.
What happened?
Well, I came here to have
that beer we talked about
and found you laying out
here in front of the store.
Oh, yeah. That's a beauty, isn't
ow!
Disgruntled employee?
No, a disgruntled boyfriend.
Is there something you need to tell me?
Oh, it's just.
Becky, the cashier, her boyfriend
thinks I have a thing for her.
Its a long story.
Is she cute?
Steve. She's like, 19.
Oh, no, no.
That's total.
Thats jailbait. Material.
Here.
Drink up. I. I cant.
You can't?
I'm.
I'm an alcoholic.
Sure. Oh, okay.
All right. Yeah.
Drink up.
No, no, I.
Look, Steve, Im in AA.
I'm following the steps.
I just can't afford to slip.
Wow.
Damn, bro,
you really are a changed man.
I tell you, you're not the same
babe magnet I knew in high school.
I'll tell you that.
Yeah well.
Time catches up on all of us.
I can't do anything about it.
Speaking of time, you remember the high
school reunion we went to 20 years ago?
Yeah, I remember. I doubt you do.
Yeah.
You were falling down drunk.
You left with, what's her
name? Whats her face, that.
MJ Dooley.
Yeah.
Becky. The cashier is my daughter.
I.
I see. I
well. I think I'm.
I think I'm her father.
From that one night.
Yeah, I mean, that's.
That's all it takes.
Okay.
Wow, man.
I mean, that that.
Wouldn't that be a trip?
Seriously? Seriously.
You drink up.
Whoo!
Not again.
Rusty! I am not.
Sleeping with Becky its
completely not what you think.
If you knew the truth.
The names Harper. I know you.
Yeah.
If you pull out the camera
again, I'm going to sue you
and my wife.
I'm done with your wife. She lies.
We got some incriminating footage that
could prove beneficial to your divorce.
Alright. Uh.
Just meet me inside.
Just, yeah. Take a seat.
So, um.
Why did you stop doing
Ellie's reality show?
Ellie ran out of money.
I tracked down a few
people she ranted about.
Including your old housekeeper.
She claims Ellie cheated
on you during your marriage.
That confession alone is gold to your case.
Wow.
Oh!
That from rusty?
Yeah. Good call.
Um.
So, how much do you
want for the flash card?
Ten grand.
Ten grand. Harper.
I don't have ten grand.
It's how much the lawyer's going
to cost you give or take a few bucks.
I don't even have a lawyer.
Whoa, you really are screwed.
This here is your Tr*mp card buddy.
But what if, uh.
What if I get you a gig,
that paid five grand? Would?
You know. Could we call it even then?
Vroom. Vroom, vroom.
Where are you heading mom?
Oh!
Hollywood, I'm going
to be a big movie star.
Like Elizabeth Taylor.
Is she still alive?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's still working.
She's doing a remake
of cat on a hot tin roof.
There's a cat on the roof.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a there's a cat on the roof.
Oh, sort it out when I get back.
Oh, thanks.
See ya.
You won't see me. Jake.
You're not going to see me ever again.
Here we go.
So we have the grand reopening coming
up, and I've just got the go ahead for us
to all sh**t our very own TV commercial,
and you're all going to be in it.
Alright.
Right on.
Last time I was on TV, I was
in a high speed car chase.
Is there script?
No, no, no.
Is this going to be mostly a voiceover
with you know, customers and
some of the staff? And, you know,
there might be a little bit of that.
Yeah. Okay good. Because
I hate memorizing lines.
Cost me a show last fall at the
Bailey heights community theater.
Which show? Wicked?
Bitch. Takes one to know one sweetie.
Touch
well. So. So which one of
you is artistically inclined?
I am. I can draw.
Great Becky. Uh.
So how about you help
me paint some banners?
We'll put them over the produce bins
and bakery and meat departments and
crystal? Would you like to
maybe do hair and makeup?
Yeah! What? What. What's hair and makeup?
What's going on here? Jake's
making a commercial and
we're all going to be in it.
Oh, well, does my father
know about this, jakey?
Yes, he did.
He gave me the go ahead this morning.
Look, I think that's the time.
Everybody back to your stations.
Have a great day remember to smile.
And yeah.
So how did you come up with that
genius idea, Jake, filming a commercial?
Well, it's a PR agent to me.
And just for the record, your father
thought this was a brilliant idea.
Oh, he would.
He loves clowns, loves magicians.
He loves you.
Mm. Hmm.
What are you hiding, jakey?
Those bloodshot eyes from a late
night out with the Walker brothers.
Hmm.
You get it. Johnnie Walker, red and black.
Give me my coffee.
How about you finish that diaper
display you're working on yesterday,
and then you can have some more coffee.
Okay.
Its old coffee anyway.
Big baby.
No you big baby.
No, you are.
Jerk.
Here I come.
Whats this?
I brought it in to take a
picture of you to replace his.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Oh. That's bad timing.
Why?
Bright eyes!
Please tell me you did not fall off
the wagon and run into something.
No, no, no. Still sober.
I just had a run in with
Becky's ex-boyfriend's fist.
He's got it into his head
that I have a thing for her.
Eww. She's young
enough to be your daughter.
Yeah, uh.
There's a good chance that she is.
Is what?
My daughter.
See, I dated her mother in high school,
and there was this high
school reunion 20 years ago.
You know, I was drinking back then.
We kind of hooked up, and
then one thing led to another and.
Yeah.
You sure know how to shatter a girl's
romantic vision of love, bright eyes.
Sorry.
And here I thought I had a chance with you.
Like all those small town
girls in those hallmark movies.
But you really are a breeder.
Oh, hey, Freddy.
Yo. Freddy who? Krueger.
Got a minute?
Sure, sure.
Should I call 911?
No, no, shush.
Pest control?
No, no, Krystal.
This is uh. Freddy's cousin Vinny.
Uh, you're Vinny the lawyer, right?
How did you know that?
Are you kind of resemble your cousin?
I don't see it.
Me neither.
Um.
I didn't know we had an appointment, so.
I don't trust appointments.
People miss appointments, and then I
have to have moose here, break their legs.
Run while your legs are still intact.
Uh. Can I get you gentlemen a drink?
Oh, sure.
Scotch, single malt, if you have it.
Uh, Krystal, do you
mind getting them a drink?
Okay.
Thanks. Um.
Oh, I like the way you swagger.
Please uh. Take a seat.
So tell me about this divorce of yours.
Oh, well, my wife sent
me the divorce papers,
and they're being signed
and I realize, legally
I need to respond before the due date and.
Well, yeah, that's where we're at.
Soo, did your wife give you that black eye
no, no, no. She didnt.
Uh. Too bad.
Oh, let's see.
You're a good husband Jake?
Yeah, I like to think so.
Yeah. Hmm.
He says he'd like to think so.
Have you read all these,
uh, divorce papers?
Uh. Yes.
I mean, kind of.
Yeah.
Read them again. Carefully!
Okay.
Okay.
There you go.
Thanks. Toots.
Now be like a banana and split.
How old are you?
Yeah. Sorry, Krystal.
You could take the rest of the day off,
work on the make up for the
commercials or something.
Gentlemen.
Well, at least you've got
one woman who listens to ya.
Vinny? This. This last.
Clause here is completely untrue.
I can't believe Im saying this.
I never made sexual advances
towards my stepdaughter.
She was choking on a chicken
bone, and I gave her CPR.
That's all. That's how.
That's.
Yeah, you know,
how about this Becky girl?
Did you make advances
towards her like your wife claims?
No, no, no, no, no.
That's completely untrue as well.
She was giving me a massage
just on the shoulders and one
of the cashiers took a photo.
Send it to my wife. It's just.
Oh. Oh, really?
Now? Hmm?
Jake, do you have a 401k?
I did, but my wife burnt
through that as well.
Now, that's too bad, because this is
going to cost you a boatload of money.
Your wife has solid grounds to
get everything she's asking you for.
If these accusations are true.
As I told you,
it's accusations are completely false.
But.
But there is some
incriminating evidence on her.
Oh. Where is it?
Well, it's it's on a flashcard.
What the hell is a flashcard?
Well, it's something that a videographer
uses to capture footage and stuff.
So anyway, Ellie hired
Harper, this videographer,
to do a reality show, and
apparently he saw something.
You lost me at videographer.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Is that it?
If I give you more advice,
I have to charge you more.
You owe me 500 bucks.
Wow, $500.
Usually I charge a grand.
But since you uh, offered the
good stuff, I'm giving you a discount.
I don't have $500.
Oh! Who doesn't have $500 lying around?
Can you believe this, moose?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't, don't.
Don't, don't.
sh**t,
sh**t, sh**t what?
It's time for my blood
pressure and heart pills.
Okay, look, I get paid on Friday.
Jake, I told you I am taking
blood pressure and heart pills.
I could be dead by Friday.
And so could you. If you don't pay up.
Hey? What's in the bag?
My mom's lunch?
You coming back?
Yeah. Why wouldn't I come back?
Oh, now you're raking in
that store manager money.
You may want to go to a big city
somewhere where the local
yellow bird has its own website.
You would like that, wouldn't you? Jake!
It's the other door, Jake.
Yeah, you got it.
My lawyer says that your
mama signed the divorce papers.
Yeah, she did.
Mm. Mm hmm. When are
you going to deliver me mine?
I won't like this to be over.
Like yesterday.
I'm still trying to find a lawyer.
Perv!
Ugh!
Where did you get the shiner?
So be honest.
It was Becky's boyfriend.
Well, it serves you right for
sleeping with underage girls.
Big perv.
Hmm.
Look,
Ellie, this doesn't have to get ugly, okay?
I'm happy to sell the house, and we split
it 50/50, and we'll just call it a day.
Uuummm.
Well, that would be
perfect in a perfect world.
But you are far from perfect.
You are a.
You know what, Ellie?
I feel sorry for you,
you know,
because one day you're going to wake up
old and alone with
nothing to show for your life.
Well, so have me.
Dork face.
Yeah.
Hello?
Yes, this is Jake rush.
Well, okay. Thats my mother.
Which hospital?
Okay, Im coming.
Your mother's a tough
ol bird. Shell pull through.
Yeah, yeah.
Everything she owned was in that Winnebago.
You know, I wanted to
move her into a home, but
not this way.
Change is good.
Besides, everything in that
Winnebago, was just things.
Like the things in your own home. Jake.
Sometimes when you let
go of the past, it opens up
a whole new world.
Sorry, Scotty.
I didn't call my. My
mom's been in an accident.
She okay?
Yeah, she's she's a little shaken
up, but she's going to pull through.
Look, I can take over.
It's not your job anymore, jakey.
What? What do you mean?
My dad's in the office.
Hell explain it to you.
In the office.
Lawrence? Jake.
Scotty told me that you
stole $500 out of the safe.
Oh. Oh.
Man.
If you were going to go big,
why didn't you just take everything inside?
Oh, no, no, let me explain.
Freddy butcher set me up
with his cousin vinny. Who?
Who's a lawyer.
I use that term loosely, and
he gave me some legal advice.
However, he then wanted me to pay him
$500 on the spot, and I didn't
have the money, so I was.
I was going to borrow it from
the safe and pay it back later. And.
Oh, you were just borrowing it.
Oh, I was mistaken.
How about this?
Were you going to pay back this too?
This is a $2,400
bottle of scotch.
I was under some
delusion
that you were a recovering alcoholic.
I am. I am.
I didn't drink that.
That was for vinny and his bodyguard.
Oh, so what you're telling me
is that you took it upon yourself
to let the yellow bird pick up the tab
for all of this chaos that's
going on in your personal life?
No. Let me finish.
I.
I. I like you, Jake.
I liked you from the first day I met you.
But this reckless disposition, it's just.
It's a red flag.
You could just snap at any minute,
I can't afford to take that risk.
So you're fired.
But what about the commercial?
I mean, everyone was
so excited about doing it.
There'll be no commercial.
Oh, but.
Already paid the deposit.
I had payroll.
Cancel that check.
And that's.
That's the bad news.
There's good news.
Yes.
There is good news.
I'm not reporting any of
this to the corporate office.
And I'm also going to put back the $500
into the safe out of my own pocket
as far as this bottle of scotch
shoplifter stole it.
I don't know what to say.
Let me say it for you.
Clean up your act,
find something that
you're passionate about.
And when you do contact me,
I'll see if I can help.
I.
I have found something I'm
passionate about. Lawrence.
What is that?
Its the yellow bird.
This. This store.
The staff.
The the people who I work with.
I mean, it's like a family to me.
I'm sorry, Jake.
Scotty is my family.
All right?
And blood is thicker than water, so
I, uh.
I. I'm just going to let you gather
your personal belongings.
You want to check?
Its just my personal stuff.
No, I trust you.
You trust me now? Mm-hmm.
Now, why don't you wait till I go back?
So I can explain why I took that $500?
Gut instinct told me you were
running off and not coming back.
Keys, jakey.
You know,
I thought you're sick and tired
of dealing with whiny customers
and ticked off employees, huh?
Getting up at the cr*ck of
dawn to open this place?
Yeah, but, you know, stocking
shelves and building teepee pyramids.
It's all so demeaning to me
now. You know how I felt.
Mr. Rush. Okay. I've
been looking for you all day.
I've got some cool ideas for the banner.
What happened to your eye?
Oh, um.
I fell.
I fell hard.
You. Are you going somewhere?
Yeah, I.
I'm leaving the yellow bird.
Why? No, we're all real
excited to do the commercial.
Even Paula, you know
what a witch she can be.
It's not by choice.
What happened?
So it's a long story, but
Scotty got his old management job back.
Back to the clipboard spankings.
Oh, there's rusty.
Youre back with rusty?
Yeah. Umm.
He swung by last night.
We sort of work things out. He's really.
He's really not all that bad.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Whatever makes you happy, I suppose
so, umm.
Take care of yourself, kiddo.
You too.
Oh, Becky,
can you do me a favor?
If you get a chance, can you?
Can you ask your mom if she
remembers seeing me at the
high school reunion 20 years ago?
Yeah.
Okay.
Becky, come on. Get in here.
Bye Mr. Rush.
Bye.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What in the bloody hell
are you doing, Jake?
I had a rough day.
Boo hoo!
Look, you don't understand.
I just lost my job.
My mom lost her home.
I'm about to lose my home.
I just. I just need to escape.
Are you even trying to
turn your life around, Jake?
Yes. You!
Ive tried everything.
It just doesn't work.
Well, then try harder.
You, you lousy excuse for a man.
You can't talk to me like that.
Oh, but, I can Jake.
Because I'm the only one who can tolerate
your moaning and woe is me attitude.
And I had a rough day.
Well, so did I!
I've been stuck in this car baking
in 80 degree heat with the sun
b*ating down on me because
you can't afford to fix that
faulty sunroof that's been
broken for the past five years.
Not to mention that stench
from your mother's lunch.
I'm over it, Jake.
Yeah!
Well that makes two of us.
Oh, this is my sendoff?
After all I've done for you,
you're throwing me in a dumpster
with meat scraps and old produce.
Why don't you join me, Jake!
Cause god knows you don't have to nickels
to rub together to Bury your own sorry ass.
Tell me, what is there left to fear?
The yellow bird jakey.
It defines a person's true love.
The one person they can't live without.
If you find that joy,
you are the luckiest person in the world.
Oh, crap.
Man.
You know, jakey.
They say getting crapped
on by a bird is good luck.
Screw you, Scotty.
I'm going to use that hose
whether you like it or not.
And I don't like it.
Oh, what are you going to do, fire me?
No, no jakey.
I have a bad idea.
I want you to come inside and
take a shower and then put this on.
Okay.
I'll make some coffee.
Careful.
Watch what you're doing.
That is money. There.
Has anybody seen Scotty?
He's in his office.
Just get back to your stations.
Yes, sir.
Is there something y'all know that I don't?
This better be some kind of a joke.
No, no joke. Pops, please sit down.
There's something important
that I need to tell you.
I wanted jakey here.
We'll talk when he's gone.
No, we'll talk now.
Please sit down.
Make it fast.
I have another meeting.
To attend to. Yes, I know.
This business comes first with you.
It always has.
Which is one of the main
reasons that mom left
because you paid more attention
to your stores than you did to her.
Scotty, I don't like your tone of voice.
Well, maybe that's
because I never had a voice.
Dad for the past ten
years, I have begged you
to let me be a hairdresser, and you always
shut me down, calling it a sissy job.
It is a sissy job. Not
you know what?!
This conversation.
It's over.
Oh, Laurence, if you walk out that door,
you're going to lose your son forever.
You know what?
You. You.
I want you out.
I don't want you interfering in
anything that you know nothing about.
This has nothing to do with you.
No, no.
That's where you're wrong.
When I told my father I wanted to be
in publicity, he shut down my dreams.
Said he wanted me to
follow in his footsteps.
And being salesman.
But I knew if I did that, I
would never be content.
The same way I know
Scotty's never going to be content
doing what he's doing here at the store.
At this store.
This store!
And all of the stores and
the chain is Scotty's legacy.
And Ill guaran-damn-tee you, it's a
hell more than your old man left you.
Pops!
No, no, it's okay.
Look. Your father's right.
Look,
my father is a degenerate
gambler that left my mom
and me with squat.
But you know the one thing
he taught me, Lawrence?
He taught me how to be humble.
He always said to me that life is simpler
if you just don't judge other people.
But I.
I will be forever grateful
for the fact that you didn't
call in corporate office
with what went down a week ago.
I don't know. Just.
Work things out with Scotty.
None of us are promised another tomorrow.
Thank you jakey.
Ugh.
So.
You.
You really want to be
a hairdresser?
More than you know.
Guess, who just got his own
pop up hair salon at the yellow bird.
This guy.
Yay.
There goes the neighborhood.
Mr. Rush!
I heard about your meeting.
I'm sorry you didn't get your old job back.
Yeah,
Scotty tried, but his dad wont budge.
Well, speaking of dads, I spoke to
my mom last night, and she remembers
going to your high school
reunion, like, 20 years ago, and
she suspects the same thing you do.
Only was too afraid to say it. So.
Oh. Okay.
I'll.
I'll take a paternity test.
I I'd rather you didn't.
Not now, anyway.
I mean, like, why ruin a
good thing in case you're not?
You know, deep down, I.
I know who you are.
Dont be a stranger on us will ya.
I wont.
Jake!
Lawrence?
I want to thank you.
What for?
Giving me a lesson in humility.
So.
Welcome back.
That is, if you still want to work, here?
Is that even a question?
Good. Good.
We can insert this into the edit
and if any of the staff, you know,
screw up their lines, just keep rolling.
You got.
Uh.
Yeah, I'll be back.
Mom!
Jake!
Oh. Lawrence.
Ready to sh**t a
commercial? Yep. Almost ready.
All right.
Jakey!
Jakey! Look at me.
I'm flying. Hahaha.
Yeah, that. Thats.
Oh. I demanded a raise.
Oh, well, that's my mom.
And that's her caregiver.
Wheres Scotty?
He's in the break room doing
everyone's hair and make up.
Well, it's not exactly
what I wanted for him
to choose as a profession, but, hey,
if it makes him happy, then so be it.
Well, you know.
That's what life's all about, is
finding that one true passion
that you have in life pursuing that.
Are you going to stay
around for the commercial?
No, I'm going to wait and
see the finished product.
I want to be surprised right. Whoohoo!
Catch me if you can.
Get back here. Loco old lady.
Yeah, I've gotta.
Mom!
So yeah, if you take a sh*t down
there, that would be really, really good.
And I just.
Just give me a sec, rusty.
Hey, Mr. Rush. Listen, um,
I really am sorry about
punching you last week.
Right?
Yeah, that's. That's fine.
No, no, no, it wasn't.
Becky really likes you
in a father sort of way.
I get that now. No hard feelings.
No hard feelings.
Cool. Oh, hey.
So you think it'd be cool if I stay.
And watch the sh**t?
Yeah, sure.
Oh, cool.
Alright.
Actually, do you have a job?
Oh, well,
I've had many jobs, but
none really liked. Or kept I mean.
Would you.
Ah, you like to work here?
Well, I mean,
I guess thatd be cool.
Would you like to be in a commercial?
Yeah.
Last time I was on TV
was a high speed chase.
Let me guess. With Howie, right?
Yeah, he was best
buddies at school. All right.
Come on, let's suit you up.
It's awfully puffy.
Oh, trust me, Paula, you look fabulous.
Yeah.
Someone's going to get
lucky in the bedroom tonight.
With what? My cat.
My husband d*ed five years ago. Oh, my god.
I am so sorry.
Dont be.
He snored like a bear and ate like one too.
Scotty!
Pops. I had no idea you would be here.
I just want to swing by and check
out your new found profession
okay.
What do you think? Hmm?
I. I think.
I think you're on to something.
Thanks, pops.
Can I have
everyone at the front of the store?
Oh, I'm not ready.
Can you do my makeup?
Okay.
This is your brush.
Okay, so the main thing is, is
that everyone should just smile
and have fun and, well, just a
get to your places.
Becky you. You look beautiful.
Thank you. I feel beautiful.
Krystle's like a fairy godmother.
I hate you, Jake, rush
I hate you with a passion.
So, uh.
Are you one of the extras?
Excuse me.
I'll have you know that I want
to have my own reality show.
Well, I don't watch reality shows.
I'm too busy overseeing my store's.
You own the yellow bird stores?
Yes, ma'am. All ten of them.
Oh.
Lets do it.
My car.
Are you married, Mr.
Finley?
Lawrence Finley.
And as a matter of fact,
I'm divorced.
Miss Ellie.
Miss Ellie.
By a chance.
Have you had dinner yet, miss Ellie?
Because I know this great
steakhouse at third and hollinger.
Well, I do love me.
A piece of aged meat.
Will follow me.
To the ends of the earth.
Keep up the good work.
I'll be damned.
What's wrong?
Looks like Ellie found her yellow bird.
You mean cash cow?
Yeah. Are you ready?
Ready bright eyes.
Let's do it.
Okay everyone. Let's do this.
At the yellow bird.
Everyday people shop for extraordinary
deals on everything in our store.
We're here to serve.
You're always greeted with a smile.
Welcome to the yellow birds.
Big farm to table fan.
And check out our
locally grown, fresh fruits
and vegetables in the produce department.
We have big ripe melons.
No time to cook.
Pick up a bucket of a best chicken in town.
Winner, winner in dinner.
And our USDA prime meats
are a cut above the rest.
You want meat?
Here's the beef.
No trip to the yellow bird would
be complete without picking up
one of our delectable
homemade cakes or pastries.
Yummy and sweet and a real family treat.
But wait.
There's more coming.
Soon, the yellow bird will
become an official sponsor
of Scotty's beauty emporium.
With every ten dozen eggs you purchased,
you'll get a free shampoo and set by me.
So come on down to.
The grand reopening of
yellow bird Bailey heights.
We're more than just your.
Average grocery store were family!
I should have an edited copy of
the commercial to you by midweek.
Oh, great.
Here's your payment.
Thanks.
I have something for you.
Thanks.
Good luck with that
Life in this small town
can be lonely, can be hard
When you're sh**ting for
the stars, but living in your car.
One day I'll fly away.
A little bird told me
And I'll find my true love
under a sycamore tree.
Yellow bird.
One day you'll be mine
Yellow bird
One day youll be mine.
Driving my Winnebago down the i-85
Wondering where I'm going
and what I'm doing with my life.
The winds are blowing wild.
The plains are awfully bleak.
Then I heard your song
under that sycamore tree.
Yellow bird.
One day youll be mine.
Yellow bird.
One day youll be mine.
Yellow bird
One day youll be mine.
When the kids are grown.
And its only you and me.
Living in the house we
built to hold our family.
Well look back at every hope
and remember every dream.
But well always return
to that sycamore tree.
Yellow bird.
One day youll be mine.
Yellow bird
One day youll be mine.
Life in this small town
can be lonely, can be hard.
Driving my Winnebago
But living in your car
One day I'll fly away.
And follow every dream.
Holding on to hope that
you'll find your way to me
And I'll find my true love.
Find my true love.
Under the sycamore tree.
Yellow bird
One day youll be mine.
Yellow bird
One day youll be mine.
Yellow bird song by Ruth
Benfield and Scott Oatley
Tweet, tweet
Yellow Bird (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3