Transcripts - Forever Dreaming

What could possibly
take Betty Jo's tomboy,

sports-loving mind
off of baseball?

Well, it seems the subject
of science perhaps...

Temporarily, at least...

Provided that she has a
handsome young teacher

to help her focus on
more academic pursuits.

And that's the basis
of this next episode.

As broadcast June 1, 1965,

it's got an unusual
and intriguing title...

"The Brontosaurus Caper."

(train whistle blows)

♪ Come ride the little train ♪

♪ That is rollin' down the
tracks to the Junction ♪

(bell clanging)

♪ Forget about your cares ♪

♪ It is time to relax
at the Junction ♪

(whistle blows twice)

♪ Lots of curves, you bet ♪

♪ And even more when you get ♪

♪ To the Junction ♪

♪ Petticoat Junction ♪

(snare drum plays train rhythm)

♪ There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪

♪ Petticoat Junction ♪

♪ It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪

♪ Petticoat Junction ♪

♪ And that's Uncle Joe,
he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪

♪ At the Junction ♪

♪ Petticoat Junction! ♪

(train whistle blows)

Uncle Joe, I thought I asked you

to set the table.

I didn't know how
many to set it for.

Same old crowd.

You, me and the girls.

I thought I'd wait and see
if any guests checked in.

There's no sense
in setting the table

and having to add more plates.

Well, if you're
waiting for guests,

you might not set
it for three weeks,

so would you please get
the plates and the silverware?

Where are they?

The same place they
been for the last 20 years.

In the cupboard.

Thought you might
have moved them.

No, I didn't move them.

It's Betty's job
to set the table.

She's playing baseball.

The Hooterville Hawks are
having a doubleheader today.

Well, it ain't right.

Everybody's got
a job around here.

Betty's job is
setting the table.

Bobbie's job is clearing it.

Billie's job is
drying the dishes.

Your job... Is trying to
find out what your job is.

I manage the hotel
and set the policy.

Well, you've done enough
policy setting for one day.

Now, would you
please set the table.

Oh, hi, Betty Jo.

Hello, Mother.

Uncle Joseph.

Uh, well, how did the game go?

Game?

Did you win?

Win what?

Well, wasn't there
a doubleheader

with the Pixley Pirates today?

I didn't play.

Fellers wouldn't let you play?

Let her?!

She's hitting
.417, fielding .822,

and she stole 34 bases.

Mother, you might
as well face it...

I've hung up my glove.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

You know, it's been a long while

since you hung up anything.

I finally discovered that there

are more important
things in life

than playing shortstop
for the Hooterville Hawks.

Thinking of
playing the outfield?

I'm through with
baseball forever.

I've decided to devote
my life to science.

Well, that's nice.

Would you like a glass
of milk and a cookie?

Did you hear what I said?

Hey, how did the
game go today, infant?

I'm not an infant.

And I didn't play.

Gee, that's not going to do

your batting average any good.

I'm not interested in baseball.

Do you mean to tell
me you're going to take

Mickey Mantle's picture
out of your locket?

Doesn't anybody understand?

Adolescents.

(groaning)

May I please have the
sliced tomatoes, Betty Jo?

Thanks... now, will
you pass the corn?

Betty Jo?

Betty Jo!

Oh.

Here you are, Mom.

Thank you, but I didn't
want the spare ribs.

I wanted to ask you something.

When you go to the
library, do you eat?

No, ma'am.

Well, then, when
you're eating, don't read.

Oh, but it's such
an interesting book.

The Life of "Madam Curry."

What's so interesting about
reading a cooking book?

It's not a cookbook.

It's about Madame Curie.

She discovered radium.

I just discovered something...

I got four knives.

Who set the table?

Uncle Joe.

Any complaints, tell him.

Oh, I'm not complaining.

I got four forks, too.

Mom, may I be excused?

You haven't eaten.

I want to finish this book

so I can write a report on it.

Why, you did a science
report two weeks ago.

Well, this is a special
report for extra credit.

Well, that's the first
time you've done

any extra work for Mr. Grimes.

How is old Grim Grimes?

Now, Billie Jo...

Well, that's what
we used to call him.

Mr. Grimes is retired.

Oh, who's taking his place?

Mr. Barrett.

Oh, Mom, he's the most handsome,

wonderful,
interesting, delightful...

Seems to me I've heard
those words before.

When?

From Billie Jo.

When she had the most
handsome, wonderful,

interesting,
delightful art teacher.

Billie sure had a crush on him.

Now, that was
just schoolgirl stuff.

Well, if you think I have
a crush on Roland...

Roland?

That's his first name.

Ah.

(sighs) Roland.

Oh, Mom, you have no idea.

Science is just fascinating.

So was the art teacher.

But I'm glad to see

that you are finally
getting interested

in something... (door shuts)

What was that?

He eats better than I do.

Where did you get this?

(barks)

Probably bought
himself a side of beef.

I don't think this
is a beef bone.

Oh, well, what
difference does it make?

A lot of difference.

This might have some...

scientific significance.

Uh... well, there is
one way of finding out.

Uh, tomorrow...

why don't you ask
Mr. Barrett about it?

Mom, that's a great idea!

Thanks, but I'm sure you
would have thought of it.

Obviously, it's not a beef bone.

Obviously.

It looks like it might belong
to a prehistoric animal.

This could be very important.

Could be the most important
thing that ever happened to me.

Uh... uh, yes, Miss Bradley.

Betty Jo.

Miss Betty Jo.

Uh, when did you discover this?

When Mr. Grimes retired.

Oh... I mean, the dog found it.

Where?

Oh, I don't know.

He's always bringing
home old bones.

Do you think he could
show me where he found it?

Well, no, sir.

He could show me, and
then I could show you.

That is, if you were along.

Oh.

I have an idea.

How would you like to come

to the hotel for supper tonight?

And then we can talk to the dog.

And my family.

That would be very nice.

What time?

4:30.

Isn't that a little early?

Not for me.

How about 6:00?

I'll be there.

Oops.

Please, Uncle Joe!

I set the table
for you last night.

But I've got to change my dress.

What's wrong with
the one you're wearing?

Mr. Barrett saw me
in this dress today.

Okay, I'll set it for you.

Thanks.

Oh!

By the way, Mom,

will you make the
chicken good tonight?

What?

Oh, well, not that
it isn't always good,

but I mean extra-good.

Betty Jo, this is
not the first time

I've cooked a meal
for the schoolteachers

that you girls get crushes on.

I've cooked for Bobbie
Jo's history teacher,

Billie Jo's art teacher,

and I think I can cook
for a science teacher.

Mom, I know he's
going to like you.

Well, I'll do my very, very
best to make him proud of me.

I'm proud of you.

And I'd be proud of
you, too, Uncle Joe,

if you'd wear a collar and tie.

No, thanks.

But Uncle Joe, you've gotta!

It's very important.

He will.

I didn't wear a collar and tie

for the coach of the
Hooterville Hawks.

Where's the dog?

I don't know.

Well, doesn't he realize
how important this is?

Mr. Barrett's coming to see him.

Then why doesn't he
wear the collar and tie?

Won't anybody cooperate with me?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Betty Jo?

How do I look, Mom?

Well, it depends on
what you're made up for.

Mr. Barrett.

Oh, well, in that case,

may I make a few suggestions?

Of course.

Wash your face,
take down your hair

and put on your brown dress.

Oh, Mom, that's
so schoolgirlish.

That's what you are,

so wash your face
and change your dress.

Gosh, how would you like

to look like a high school kid?

I'd love it.

(door opening)

May I help you?

I'm, uh, Roland Barrett.

Oh... oh!

Oh, I'm Billie Jo.

I-I'm Betty Jo's older sister.

Glad to know you.

Uh, is Betty Jo home?

Uh, yes.

She's probably polishing her
saddle shoes or something.

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

I don't go to Hooterville
High School anymore.

I didn't think you did.

I haven't seen you around.

No, as a matter of fact,

I graduated ages ago.

I'm halfway through
business school.

Oh, planning a career
in the business world?

Until Mr. Right comes along.

Mr. Right?

That certain somebody.

You think, um... Betty
Jo will be down soon?

You're darn right
I'll be down soon!

Will you hold still?

Mom, she's trying to
get her hooks into him!

She's just
entertaining Mr. Barrett.

Entertaining?!

She's putting on
a whole floor show.

And I know just what's
going to happen next.

"Don't you think a woman
should marry a man

who's her
intellectual superior?"

Don't you think a woman
should marry a man

who's her intellectual superior?

Well, uh...

I... I suppose it's a
matter of chemistry.

When the two
right people meet...

it's like a big expl*si*n.

expl*si*n?!

I'll show her an expl*si*n.

Wait'll I get my hands on her.

Pow!

Oh, Mom, why can't Billie
get her own boyfriend?

Honey... He is
not your boyfriend.

He came to see the dog.

That's just an excuse.

He really wanted
to come to see me.

Oh, Mom, you just
don't understand.

Now, listen to me:

A long time ago, I
felt just like you do

about my history
teacher, Henry Roynish.

I loved him all the way
from the Boston Tea Party

to the Spanish-American w*r.

And just when Teddy Roosevelt
was halfway up San Juan Hill,

he eloped with the gym teacher.

Mom!

Oh, well, go, go, you're fixed.

Go.

(chuckles nervously)

Good evening, Mr. Barrett.

There's the dog!

Here, boy.

Here, boy.

Look, he found another bone.

Is it valuable?

Never brought home
nothing valuable yet,

including himself.

Do you have the other bone?

Yes... I put it right over here.

Just a...

What did you do with the bone?

(barks)

Look, they look just alike,

except that one's bigger.

Yes, but I do think they came

from the same animal.

But what kind of animal?

Could they be from one
of them "diamondsaurs"?

Years ago, they laid
fossils all around here.

I don't think it came from
one of them diamond...

Those dinosaurs.

It might be a member of
the brontosaurus family.

Wish I had someone
to talk to about this.

Well, uh, there's, uh...
there's a museum up in Pixley.

Well, I tried them,

but they closed for
awhile, for repairs.

Maybe if the dog
brought home more,

we could put them together

and find out what
kind of animal it was.

I'll talk to him.

Look, Stupid...

you been dragging
home strange bones.

Where are they coming from?

(barks)

There's your answer.

Where'd you get the bone?

(barks)

Well, show us.

He wants us to follow him.

Come on.

Come on.

You sure are the
"burying-est" dog.

It looks like the last day of
the Hooterville rummage sale.

Where did you hide the bone?

(barks)

Well, here we go again.

(train whistle
blows in distance)

Wonder what the
train's coming for.

Charley and Floyd
promised to pick me up.

Oh, we didn't find the bones!

It's getting pretty late.

Well, tomorrow is Saturday.

We could spend the
whole day looking.

Mr. Barrett, why don't you
come to lunch tomorrow?

I was going to ask him that.

Well, I hate to impose.

Oh, you're not imposing.

All right. What time?

9:30?

Not a phone.

A bone.

B-O-A-N!

Now try brontosaurus.

Oh, let me try
talking to him once.

All right, I'm gonna give
you one more chance.

Where... are... the... bones?!

That's a new place.

At last.

Well, come on.

Where are you going?

Under the porch.

Just a minute.

Go on.

You'll never make it.

You ought to play more baseball.

Uncle Joe, would you
get me a flashlight?

Show me, boy. Show me.

(clucking)

(sudden crack)

Yech!

You all right, Betty Jo?

Yes.

I just scrambled an egg.

The dog show you
where them bones are?

I'm following him.

BETTY JO: I found the place!

Ask her where, Uncle Joe.

Where?

BETTY JO: Under the lobby.

There's not enough room.

I can't crawl any farther.

The space is about this big.

There's just enough room
for the dog to get through.

From the looks of these,

I'd say there was a whole
brontosaurus skeleton

under the hotel, Mrs. Bradley.

Well, that's better
than termites.

Mom, how can you
take this so calmly?

How else can I take it?

Mom, we gotta
get it out of there.

Why?

In the interest of science.

Well, frankly,

I'm not that
interested in science.

Mrs. Bradley, you can't
ignore a thing like this.

Course you can't.

What do you think will
happen when word gets around

that you're living over a
"brontosarious" graveyard?

Scientists will flock here

from all over the
world to take a look.

At 50 cents a peek.

Just how are they
going to see it?

Simple... we'll cut a hole
in the middle of the lobby

for 'em to look through.

Anybody want
some pie and coffee?

Kate... there's a
fortune under this hotel.

Just my luck.

I've been trying to
make a fortune over it.

Mrs. Bradley, I'm not interested

in the commercial
possibilities of this discovery.

I am.

But a discovery like this

is of major
scientific importance.

If you would only allow us to
dig down through the lobby.

Which I won't.

But Mrs. Bradley...

Look, I can't let
you tear up my hotel

just because the dog
put a few bones under it.

Look.

Mrs. Bradley, do you
know what you're looking at?

(sighs)

Yeah.

A great big hole in
the middle of my lobby.

My floor!

Oh, don't worry, Mom.

We'll put it back
the way it was.

See, we've got each
piece numbered.

Suppose it rubs off?

It can't.

Swell.

Well, don't worry, Mom.

We know where it
goes... on the floor.

Uncle Joe...

shouldn't the dog
be carrying that,

and you be carrying
the big piece?

Well, I wanted to, but
he talked me out of it.

Find anything yet?

We just started digging.

We're a couple of feet down.

Why don't you grab
a shovel and help?

If I grab a shovel,
it won't be to help!

Does anyone want a...
(echoing): sandwich?

Oh! Mom, are you all right?

KATE (echoing): Throw me a rope!

Good afternoon.

Uh, can I help you?

I'd like a room.

Single or double?

Single.

Oh. Well, let's see now.

(chuckles) Um...

Would you like number four?

If you don't mind, I'd
rather have an inside room.

An inside room.

Well, I could give
you number seven,

but you'll have to climb in
the window with a ladder.

We're, um, digging
up the lobby here.

Something wrong?

Well, we're-we're
looking for a brontosaurus.

A bronta... I'll see
you next trip. No...

Well, that's the third
guest that checked out

before checking in.

Why did you have
to block the stairway?

Wait'll we find the
rest of them bones.

There'll be a solid line
from here to the train.

Going in what direction?

BETTY JO: There you are, Mom.

There you go.

Oh. Thanks.

Okay, you get some
good sleep now.

Good night. Good night.

♪ ♪

(loud snoring)

(snoring continues)

♪ ♪

(insect buzzing)

(buzzing continues)

Hey!

Oh!

(muffled): Get me
out of here! Get me...

Uncle Joe! Somebody!
Get me out of here!

Help!

(muffled): Get me out of here!

Get me out...!

Uncle Joe! Somebody!
Get me out of here!

Mom? KATE: Help!

Mom! Get me out of here!

Are you all right?

Where's your mother?

In here!

Kate! Kate! The dog
found another one.

Well, let me see. Yeah!

Hey, where'd you get that?

(barks)

He must have been digging
while we were asleep.

Come on!

Is anybody interested in
digging out these old bones?

Sheriff... this is
Clarence McGill,

curator of the Pixley Museum.

I would like to report a
missing baby brontosaurus.

Bront... B-R-O...

I just got back
from my vacation,

and I came in here, and I...

Just a second, Sheriff.

Never mind, Sheriff.

I think I just got
a line on the thief.

Here, boy.

Here, boy.

Here, boy!

Come back!

Come back!

Madam, that dog has stolen

my baby brontosaurus,
bone by bone.

From where?

The Pixley Museum.

I'm the curator.

Oh. Uh, just a minute.

Everybody out of the pit!

We'll have your bones
for you in just a minute.

(chuckling): Would you
like 'em in a doggie bag?

What am I gonna do with these?

What are they?

Thermometers. I
bought 100 of them.

What for?

I was gonna paste
'em on sparerib bones

and sell them to the scientists

as prehistoric souvenirs.

Well, maybe you can make a
deal with the Pixley Museum.

Mom, have you seen
my baseball mitt?

Baseball mitt?!

I thought you'd given
that up for science.

Science?!

Why does everybody think
I'm interested in science?

It's just a silly idea.

You think you could
get Mr. Barrett interested

in buying some thermometers

to see how hot it
is in his classroom?

I'll ask him when I see him.

He won't be in school
for a couple weeks.

Where is he?

He eloped with the gym teacher.

Oh, don't they always?

Here you are.

Thanks.

Wait 'em out.

Don't take any bad pitches.

You've been to the museum again?

Where'd you get that?

(barks)

Never mind.

I don't want to know.

♪ Petticoat Junction. ♪

This has been a
Filmways Presentation.