01x12 - The Ho! Ho! Horror!/Outhouse Outrage
Posted: 07/27/23 08:04
- ♪ SpongeBob ♪
- ♪ I'm off to summer camp ♪
- ♪ SpongeBob ♪
- ♪ Through nature I will tramp ♪
- ♪ SpongeBob will have you screaming ♪
- ♪ Till milk is streaming right out of your nose ♪
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa!
Ahh! Ahh!
♪ ♪
- ♪ SpongeBob ♪
- ♪ When nature's calling ♪
- You'll see me hauling ♪
- I'm hitting the trail ♪
- [slurping]
[sighs]
Huh? Bikini Bottom?
Second-happiest town in the sea?
I don't remember ever delivering toys
to a place called Bikini Bottom before.
[gasps] Could I have missed the town?
I haven't missed a town since .
And that was a ghost town. Nobody saw it.
Hmm. It says here that all the kids
are staying at the Kamp Koral summer camp.
And they're all asleep. Oh, those poor toyless tots.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Get ready, kids, 'cause Santa Claus is coming to camp!
High-ho, Bludolph! Away!
♪ ♪
Ha-hey!
[laughing]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
[grunts]
Oopsy.
Ho, ho, ho! Oops.
[softly] I mean, ho, ho, ho.
[chuckles]
[gasps] - Ugh! Stupid root beer!
Now I have to pee. Thanks a lot!
[gulps]
[wailing]
[gasping]
- [chuckles]
♪ ♪
- [snores] Gotta catch those jellies.
[snores] Gotta catch those jellies.
[snores] Gotta catch those jellies.
[yawns]
- Ooh! [chuckling]
Now, don't do that again, root beer.
I'm warning you.
[gulping]
- [snoring] Huh?
Mama?
- Huh? - Is that you?
[yawns]
- Phew. There.
That ought to keep you inside. [chuckles]
♪ ♪
Yeah. Nothing but roof.
♪ ♪
[rooster crowing]
Oh, the sun's up. Better hide.
[chuckling]
[quirky upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [inhales deeply]
[playing "Reveille" very poorly]
[clams squawking]
[various sea creatures howling]
♪ ♪
- [groans]
♪ ♪
That was terrible.
Well, I guess it's coal for Squidward.
[chuckles]
I can't wait for them to open their presents.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I don't get it. - Santa? Who the heck is Santa?
- Who cares? My mother always says,
never look the gift seahorse in the mouth.
- Wait! My mother always says
never take gifts from strangers.
- [gasps] My mother says that too!
- That's what my mom says. - That's what my mom says.
- What? Santa's no stranger!
- Apologies to your mothers, but I gotta know what it is!
- No, Patrick! Mother said never!
And that means never.
- I can't chance it, SpongeBob.
There could be root beer in here!
[both straining]
Stupid root beer! [panting]
- Well, if we can't open them, we might as well burn 'em!
[cheering]
[dramatic music]
- What?
♪ ♪
- Whoa! - No!
- Huh? [screams]
[pounding footfalls]
[children screaming]
- Look! It's a...
- It's a giant bearded lady! - Wait!
I'm no lady. I'm Santa Claus!
I'm your friend! [words echoing]
[all screaming]
♪ ♪
[laid-back Hawaiian music]
[all screaming] - Mr. Krabs!
- Okay, keep your shirts on. - Mr. Krabs!
There's a red, giant, bearded lady
with a fire-breathing boot attacking the camp!
- Oh, you don't say.
Congratulations, you get to hoist the flag today.
I haven't had my coffee.
[all gasp]
- I'm Santa. You know?
Ho, ho, ho.
[coughing and gagging]
- Ew, peppermint breath!
- Never fear, weaklings. The jocks will save you!
[towels snapping]
[upbeat music]
- [battle cry]
♪ ♪
[bellows]
Oh, yeah! - [yelps]
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
[kids shouting]
♪ ♪
[upbeat suspenseful music]
- Oh, oh. Oh?
- [gasps]
He doesn't have a belly!
It's just a bowl full of jelly!
[gasping and screaming]
I wish I had a bowl full of jelly.
- Please don't hurt me. I have , elves to feed.
[oohs and ahs] See? Oh, this one's the baby.
- Ha! [chuckles] That shut him up.
[yelps]
[upbeat holiday music]
[oohs and ahs]
♪ ♪
- Huh?
[all munching] - Aw.
- Candy from strangers!
Spit out those treats and retreat!
all: Huh?
[all spitting and yelling] - Huh?
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, how do we get rid of that jolly giant now, Mr. Tentacles?
- How should I know?
Do I look like a jolly giant k*ller to you?
- You need a jolly giant to vanquish a jolly giant.
And that jolly giant is me!
[dramatic music]
[grunting]
I'm not big enough!
- Oh, no?
♪ ♪
- [sighs] You tried, Santa.
If the kids don't believe, they don't believe.
- I believe! - Huh?
- I believe that you just crossed the line,
weird beard.
[growling]
- Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, my friend!
There's no need for alarm. Ho, ho, ho!
- Stay away from my campers!
[slow-motion growl]
- Nobody cold cocks Kris Kringle!
- [yelling] [tiger growls]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Sic her, Mrs. Puff! [all scream]
♪ ♪
- Oh, no!
The bearded lady and Mrs. Puff are locked in mortal combat!
Who will win? Is this the end of Kamp Koral?
[screaming]
♪ ♪
[jalopy horn honks]
♪ ♪
- Tarnation!
I oversleep one morning and now there's giants?
♪ ♪
- Don't worry, Mrs. Puff!
I'll give that giant jerk a giant smack!
♪ ♪
Huh? Santa?
- [groaning] - [yelling]
♪ ♪
all: Huh?
- Stay down, Sandy. This is the red giant's w*r zone.
We're just living in it!
♪ ♪
- Everybody, that's not a red giant!
[impacts landing] all: Oh, yeah?
- Well, it is.
But it's also Santa Claus. I know him from back in Texas.
He's my friend!
Santa Claus is everybody's friend!
all: Aww. [impacts landing]
- Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff!
- [growls]
all: Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff!
[energetic jazz music]
♪ ♪
- Mrs. Puff! Stop fighting Santa Claus!
He's a giver of gifts! Not a monster!
- Ugh!
- [growls]
[yells]
Oof!
Whoa!
♪ ♪
- Oh!
[yelps]
all: Aw.
- [groans]
[jowls flop]
[back cracks]
[all yelp]
- Huh?
- Look! You ballyhooing baboons!
These presents aren't dangerous!
It's candy and toys! You see!
I told you--
- [shushes]
You had me at candy.
[upbeat holiday music]
♪ ♪
- Sorry again about the misunderstanding, Santa.
- Oh, I'm sorry too. You almost took my head off.
Ho! Ho! Luckily, Sandy kept her head.
- Aw. [chuckles]
[laughter]
- Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Hi, ho, Bludolph! Away!
Happy holidays to all
on land or sea!
- And to all a good night.
- Time for me morning, ahem, constitutional.
[singing to self] - Eww.
[soft upbeat music]
[groaning]
[all gasping]
Which one of you campers blew up me outhouse?
[all speaking at once]
Hold it, hold it!
- Are disgusting! Patrick...
- But half a stick of butter took care of that.
- And house go boom!
- [whistles] Quiet!
- That's how my finger got stuck up my nose.
- Camper SpongeBob, zip it.
[all whimpering]
- [clears throat]
As camp master, I'm appointing meself judge,
jury, and camp-see-cutioner, and whoever is responsible
will have to rebuild the outhouse by hand,
fin, or tentacle.
- Oh, I'm all thumbs!
[chuckles]
[duck quacks]
- [sighs] Counselor Squidward, you go first.
- Certainly. I'll tell you exactly what happened.
I awoke to a glorious morning.
[campers snoring]
Ugh. Animals.
[soft upbeat music]
- ♪ Come get out of bed, you big sleepyhead ♪
♪ And listen to Squidward playing ♪
♪ Come gather around the wonderful sound ♪
♪ And hear his sweet refrain ♪
♪ A magical musician whose "Reveille" rendition ♪
♪ Is worth any admission ♪
♪ He is the real McCoy! ♪
♪ We all sing along a wonderful song ♪
♪ Our ears, they are not worthy ♪
♪ At daybreak, we praise each note that he plays ♪
♪ Our hearts explode with joy ♪
♪ [clarinet playing] ♪
[cheers and applause] - [humming smugly]
[cheers and applause]
[upbeat music]
- Don't crowd him! He's a genius!
- We love you, Mr. Tentacles!
♪ ♪
- Mr. Tentacles,
I have something for you.
- Oh, no.
[quirky upbeat music]
You really shouldn't have.
♪ ♪
Thanks for the lovely... whatever it is.
- It's a face mitten. It's like a hug for your head.
[sniffing] - Oh, what is that smell?
- That's the smell of a clean environment.
I made all of your presents from recycled oily rags.
- I'll just put this in my treasure chest
where I keep your other wonderful presents.
I have to go bury my treasure now.
See you clowns later.
[horn honks]
[laughter]
- Um, um...
ah.
[humming to himself]
♪ ♪
- Hold it!
You filled me outhouse with presents made of oily rags?
- Of course not. Some were made of kindling.
- Squidward blew up the outhouse!
- [whimpers]
- I sentence Counselor Squidward to--
- Wait! Don't blame Mr. Tentacles!
It was I who blew up the outhouse.
It was a rainy day.
Once Mr. Tentacles had left, I got right to work...
on my next gift of camperly love for him.
♪ ♪
Oh, boy, Mr. Tentacles! Another successful performance.
- You stink! - Ow.
- Everyone's throwing you presents.
And someone has one more present for you.
- Aw, you shouldn't have. A face mitten!
♪ ♪
Mm.
I've always wanted one. It's like...
both: A hug for your head!
- Mwah.
I love it! I love it! I love it!
- After Mr. Tentacles left,
it was time for my morning constitutional.
♪ I gotta go to the outhouse! ♪
♪ I gotta go to the outhouse! I gotta go to the outhouse! ♪
I have a present for you!
♪ ♪
- What? Why would you throw a cake in the toilet?
- Well, everyone knows it's the outhouse's birthday.
We have to give it a cake.
- How could that blow up the outhouse?
- Well, the cake also had candles on it.
[humming to himself]
- You dropped a flaming cake in the toilet?
SpongeBob blew up the outhouse!
Camper SpongeBob, I sentence you to--
- Hold it! Hold it! You're all wrong!
I'll tell you what really happened!
Allow me to quote from my diary.
Ahem...
[snoring]
I woke up on my cloud as usual.
Clouds aren't as comfortable as you think.
Too wet and lumpy.
I flew around the camp, but it was so peaceful
I got bored.
I'm lucky those aliens att*cked.
[Patrick makes laser sounds]
Run for your lives!
This looks like a job for Super Star!
Oops.
[dramatic orchestral music]
Hup-hip!
♪ ♪
[yells]
♪ ♪
Those flying saucers were pretty tough.
♪ ♪
[burps loudly]
But those dumb aliens were no match
for my spinning star attack.
I gave 'em a whoosh and a biff and a sock-a-roo!
And then, funky breath attack!
[laughs]
- What has any of that to do with the outhouse blowing up?
- [gasps] Oh, yeah, yeah.
After the aliens left, I went to visit my friendly outhouse.
I call him Outie.
[outhouse bubbles]
He didn't!
[outhouse bubbles]
[laughs] That is so like Mr. Tentacles!
[outhouse bubbles]
[laughing]
After we gossiped for a while,
we shared a pot of Plankton's chili.
One for me...
and one for you, buddy.
[quirky upbeat music]
- Plankton's five alarm chili? That'll make anything explode!
Patrick blew up the outhouse!
[dramatic music]
It's Patrick's fault! [both gasp]
- Or SpongeBob? [gasps]
- Or maybe it was Squidward? - [gasps]
- I don't know what to believe!
Squidward's delusional.
SpongeBob is one marshmallow short of a s'more.
And Patrick, I don't know what Patrick's talking about,
but he sure ain't a reliable witness.
- That's right. I ain't a revivable gymnast.
- I'm more confused than when we started.
[screams]
- I couldn't help but overhear all of you arguing.
- Preda Tory! - Allow me to help you.
You must speak with one vinal vitness.
- Vitness? Vhat vitness?
- The most important vitness of all,
the spirit of the outhouse!
[evil laughter]
- There ain't no such thing as toilet ghosts.
- [cackling] - [yelps]
- Oh, mighty outhouse!
Free us from the clog of doubt!
Overflow this camp with truth!
[cackling]
[spooky music] - [ghostly moaning]
- T-t-t-t-t-toilet ghost!
- I believe! I believe! Don't hurt me!
- Hey, Outie! Good to see ya!
- SpongeBob, Squidward, Patrick,
you all defiled me with trash!
But there is a fourth poope-trator--
uh, I mean perpetrator:
Mr. Krabs has been dumping
Pearl's dirty diapers in me for months!
[ghostly moan]
♪ ♪
- There's no diaper service in the woods.
- It was all of your foul and unstable junk
that made me explode.
Guilty!
You're all guilty!
♪ ♪
[retching]
- [laughs excitedly]
- Oh! No, no, no!
- [burps]
Farewell!
- Thanks for the chili, Outie!
- No problem, buddy.
[birds singing]
- I sentenced all of us to rebuild the outhouse.
- That I von't help you with. Auf wiedersehen!
[thunder cracks]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[all humming]
♪ ♪
[birds tweeting]
[all humming]
♪ ♪
- Well, it's been a whole week,
but we finally have an outhouse again.
[all whimpering]
Camp master is first! Gotta go! Gotta go!
Gotta go! Gotta go, go!
- Oh, we missed a nail! - I got it!
[pained grunt]
[screams]
[whimpering]
- [sobbing]
Outie!
- [sighs] Here we go again!
- ♪ I'm off to summer camp ♪
- ♪ SpongeBob ♪
- ♪ Through nature I will tramp ♪
- ♪ SpongeBob will have you screaming ♪
- ♪ Till milk is streaming right out of your nose ♪
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa!
Ahh! Ahh!
♪ ♪
- ♪ SpongeBob ♪
- ♪ When nature's calling ♪
- You'll see me hauling ♪
- I'm hitting the trail ♪
- [slurping]
[sighs]
Huh? Bikini Bottom?
Second-happiest town in the sea?
I don't remember ever delivering toys
to a place called Bikini Bottom before.
[gasps] Could I have missed the town?
I haven't missed a town since .
And that was a ghost town. Nobody saw it.
Hmm. It says here that all the kids
are staying at the Kamp Koral summer camp.
And they're all asleep. Oh, those poor toyless tots.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Get ready, kids, 'cause Santa Claus is coming to camp!
High-ho, Bludolph! Away!
♪ ♪
Ha-hey!
[laughing]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
[grunts]
Oopsy.
Ho, ho, ho! Oops.
[softly] I mean, ho, ho, ho.
[chuckles]
[gasps] - Ugh! Stupid root beer!
Now I have to pee. Thanks a lot!
[gulps]
[wailing]
[gasping]
- [chuckles]
♪ ♪
- [snores] Gotta catch those jellies.
[snores] Gotta catch those jellies.
[snores] Gotta catch those jellies.
[yawns]
- Ooh! [chuckling]
Now, don't do that again, root beer.
I'm warning you.
[gulping]
- [snoring] Huh?
Mama?
- Huh? - Is that you?
[yawns]
- Phew. There.
That ought to keep you inside. [chuckles]
♪ ♪
Yeah. Nothing but roof.
♪ ♪
[rooster crowing]
Oh, the sun's up. Better hide.
[chuckling]
[quirky upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [inhales deeply]
[playing "Reveille" very poorly]
[clams squawking]
[various sea creatures howling]
♪ ♪
- [groans]
♪ ♪
That was terrible.
Well, I guess it's coal for Squidward.
[chuckles]
I can't wait for them to open their presents.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- I don't get it. - Santa? Who the heck is Santa?
- Who cares? My mother always says,
never look the gift seahorse in the mouth.
- Wait! My mother always says
never take gifts from strangers.
- [gasps] My mother says that too!
- That's what my mom says. - That's what my mom says.
- What? Santa's no stranger!
- Apologies to your mothers, but I gotta know what it is!
- No, Patrick! Mother said never!
And that means never.
- I can't chance it, SpongeBob.
There could be root beer in here!
[both straining]
Stupid root beer! [panting]
- Well, if we can't open them, we might as well burn 'em!
[cheering]
[dramatic music]
- What?
♪ ♪
- Whoa! - No!
- Huh? [screams]
[pounding footfalls]
[children screaming]
- Look! It's a...
- It's a giant bearded lady! - Wait!
I'm no lady. I'm Santa Claus!
I'm your friend! [words echoing]
[all screaming]
♪ ♪
[laid-back Hawaiian music]
[all screaming] - Mr. Krabs!
- Okay, keep your shirts on. - Mr. Krabs!
There's a red, giant, bearded lady
with a fire-breathing boot attacking the camp!
- Oh, you don't say.
Congratulations, you get to hoist the flag today.
I haven't had my coffee.
[all gasp]
- I'm Santa. You know?
Ho, ho, ho.
[coughing and gagging]
- Ew, peppermint breath!
- Never fear, weaklings. The jocks will save you!
[towels snapping]
[upbeat music]
- [battle cry]
♪ ♪
[bellows]
Oh, yeah! - [yelps]
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
[kids shouting]
♪ ♪
[upbeat suspenseful music]
- Oh, oh. Oh?
- [gasps]
He doesn't have a belly!
It's just a bowl full of jelly!
[gasping and screaming]
I wish I had a bowl full of jelly.
- Please don't hurt me. I have , elves to feed.
[oohs and ahs] See? Oh, this one's the baby.
- Ha! [chuckles] That shut him up.
[yelps]
[upbeat holiday music]
[oohs and ahs]
♪ ♪
- Huh?
[all munching] - Aw.
- Candy from strangers!
Spit out those treats and retreat!
all: Huh?
[all spitting and yelling] - Huh?
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, how do we get rid of that jolly giant now, Mr. Tentacles?
- How should I know?
Do I look like a jolly giant k*ller to you?
- You need a jolly giant to vanquish a jolly giant.
And that jolly giant is me!
[dramatic music]
[grunting]
I'm not big enough!
- Oh, no?
♪ ♪
- [sighs] You tried, Santa.
If the kids don't believe, they don't believe.
- I believe! - Huh?
- I believe that you just crossed the line,
weird beard.
[growling]
- Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, my friend!
There's no need for alarm. Ho, ho, ho!
- Stay away from my campers!
[slow-motion growl]
- Nobody cold cocks Kris Kringle!
- [yelling] [tiger growls]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Sic her, Mrs. Puff! [all scream]
♪ ♪
- Oh, no!
The bearded lady and Mrs. Puff are locked in mortal combat!
Who will win? Is this the end of Kamp Koral?
[screaming]
♪ ♪
[jalopy horn honks]
♪ ♪
- Tarnation!
I oversleep one morning and now there's giants?
♪ ♪
- Don't worry, Mrs. Puff!
I'll give that giant jerk a giant smack!
♪ ♪
Huh? Santa?
- [groaning] - [yelling]
♪ ♪
all: Huh?
- Stay down, Sandy. This is the red giant's w*r zone.
We're just living in it!
♪ ♪
- Everybody, that's not a red giant!
[impacts landing] all: Oh, yeah?
- Well, it is.
But it's also Santa Claus. I know him from back in Texas.
He's my friend!
Santa Claus is everybody's friend!
all: Aww. [impacts landing]
- Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff!
- [growls]
all: Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff!
[energetic jazz music]
♪ ♪
- Mrs. Puff! Stop fighting Santa Claus!
He's a giver of gifts! Not a monster!
- Ugh!
- [growls]
[yells]
Oof!
Whoa!
♪ ♪
- Oh!
[yelps]
all: Aw.
- [groans]
[jowls flop]
[back cracks]
[all yelp]
- Huh?
- Look! You ballyhooing baboons!
These presents aren't dangerous!
It's candy and toys! You see!
I told you--
- [shushes]
You had me at candy.
[upbeat holiday music]
♪ ♪
- Sorry again about the misunderstanding, Santa.
- Oh, I'm sorry too. You almost took my head off.
Ho! Ho! Luckily, Sandy kept her head.
- Aw. [chuckles]
[laughter]
- Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Hi, ho, Bludolph! Away!
Happy holidays to all
on land or sea!
- And to all a good night.
- Time for me morning, ahem, constitutional.
[singing to self] - Eww.
[soft upbeat music]
[groaning]
[all gasping]
Which one of you campers blew up me outhouse?
[all speaking at once]
Hold it, hold it!
- Are disgusting! Patrick...
- But half a stick of butter took care of that.
- And house go boom!
- [whistles] Quiet!
- That's how my finger got stuck up my nose.
- Camper SpongeBob, zip it.
[all whimpering]
- [clears throat]
As camp master, I'm appointing meself judge,
jury, and camp-see-cutioner, and whoever is responsible
will have to rebuild the outhouse by hand,
fin, or tentacle.
- Oh, I'm all thumbs!
[chuckles]
[duck quacks]
- [sighs] Counselor Squidward, you go first.
- Certainly. I'll tell you exactly what happened.
I awoke to a glorious morning.
[campers snoring]
Ugh. Animals.
[soft upbeat music]
- ♪ Come get out of bed, you big sleepyhead ♪
♪ And listen to Squidward playing ♪
♪ Come gather around the wonderful sound ♪
♪ And hear his sweet refrain ♪
♪ A magical musician whose "Reveille" rendition ♪
♪ Is worth any admission ♪
♪ He is the real McCoy! ♪
♪ We all sing along a wonderful song ♪
♪ Our ears, they are not worthy ♪
♪ At daybreak, we praise each note that he plays ♪
♪ Our hearts explode with joy ♪
♪ [clarinet playing] ♪
[cheers and applause] - [humming smugly]
[cheers and applause]
[upbeat music]
- Don't crowd him! He's a genius!
- We love you, Mr. Tentacles!
♪ ♪
- Mr. Tentacles,
I have something for you.
- Oh, no.
[quirky upbeat music]
You really shouldn't have.
♪ ♪
Thanks for the lovely... whatever it is.
- It's a face mitten. It's like a hug for your head.
[sniffing] - Oh, what is that smell?
- That's the smell of a clean environment.
I made all of your presents from recycled oily rags.
- I'll just put this in my treasure chest
where I keep your other wonderful presents.
I have to go bury my treasure now.
See you clowns later.
[horn honks]
[laughter]
- Um, um...
ah.
[humming to himself]
♪ ♪
- Hold it!
You filled me outhouse with presents made of oily rags?
- Of course not. Some were made of kindling.
- Squidward blew up the outhouse!
- [whimpers]
- I sentence Counselor Squidward to--
- Wait! Don't blame Mr. Tentacles!
It was I who blew up the outhouse.
It was a rainy day.
Once Mr. Tentacles had left, I got right to work...
on my next gift of camperly love for him.
♪ ♪
Oh, boy, Mr. Tentacles! Another successful performance.
- You stink! - Ow.
- Everyone's throwing you presents.
And someone has one more present for you.
- Aw, you shouldn't have. A face mitten!
♪ ♪
Mm.
I've always wanted one. It's like...
both: A hug for your head!
- Mwah.
I love it! I love it! I love it!
- After Mr. Tentacles left,
it was time for my morning constitutional.
♪ I gotta go to the outhouse! ♪
♪ I gotta go to the outhouse! I gotta go to the outhouse! ♪
I have a present for you!
♪ ♪
- What? Why would you throw a cake in the toilet?
- Well, everyone knows it's the outhouse's birthday.
We have to give it a cake.
- How could that blow up the outhouse?
- Well, the cake also had candles on it.
[humming to himself]
- You dropped a flaming cake in the toilet?
SpongeBob blew up the outhouse!
Camper SpongeBob, I sentence you to--
- Hold it! Hold it! You're all wrong!
I'll tell you what really happened!
Allow me to quote from my diary.
Ahem...
[snoring]
I woke up on my cloud as usual.
Clouds aren't as comfortable as you think.
Too wet and lumpy.
I flew around the camp, but it was so peaceful
I got bored.
I'm lucky those aliens att*cked.
[Patrick makes laser sounds]
Run for your lives!
This looks like a job for Super Star!
Oops.
[dramatic orchestral music]
Hup-hip!
♪ ♪
[yells]
♪ ♪
Those flying saucers were pretty tough.
♪ ♪
[burps loudly]
But those dumb aliens were no match
for my spinning star attack.
I gave 'em a whoosh and a biff and a sock-a-roo!
And then, funky breath attack!
[laughs]
- What has any of that to do with the outhouse blowing up?
- [gasps] Oh, yeah, yeah.
After the aliens left, I went to visit my friendly outhouse.
I call him Outie.
[outhouse bubbles]
He didn't!
[outhouse bubbles]
[laughs] That is so like Mr. Tentacles!
[outhouse bubbles]
[laughing]
After we gossiped for a while,
we shared a pot of Plankton's chili.
One for me...
and one for you, buddy.
[quirky upbeat music]
- Plankton's five alarm chili? That'll make anything explode!
Patrick blew up the outhouse!
[dramatic music]
It's Patrick's fault! [both gasp]
- Or SpongeBob? [gasps]
- Or maybe it was Squidward? - [gasps]
- I don't know what to believe!
Squidward's delusional.
SpongeBob is one marshmallow short of a s'more.
And Patrick, I don't know what Patrick's talking about,
but he sure ain't a reliable witness.
- That's right. I ain't a revivable gymnast.
- I'm more confused than when we started.
[screams]
- I couldn't help but overhear all of you arguing.
- Preda Tory! - Allow me to help you.
You must speak with one vinal vitness.
- Vitness? Vhat vitness?
- The most important vitness of all,
the spirit of the outhouse!
[evil laughter]
- There ain't no such thing as toilet ghosts.
- [cackling] - [yelps]
- Oh, mighty outhouse!
Free us from the clog of doubt!
Overflow this camp with truth!
[cackling]
[spooky music] - [ghostly moaning]
- T-t-t-t-t-toilet ghost!
- I believe! I believe! Don't hurt me!
- Hey, Outie! Good to see ya!
- SpongeBob, Squidward, Patrick,
you all defiled me with trash!
But there is a fourth poope-trator--
uh, I mean perpetrator:
Mr. Krabs has been dumping
Pearl's dirty diapers in me for months!
[ghostly moan]
♪ ♪
- There's no diaper service in the woods.
- It was all of your foul and unstable junk
that made me explode.
Guilty!
You're all guilty!
♪ ♪
[retching]
- [laughs excitedly]
- Oh! No, no, no!
- [burps]
Farewell!
- Thanks for the chili, Outie!
- No problem, buddy.
[birds singing]
- I sentenced all of us to rebuild the outhouse.
- That I von't help you with. Auf wiedersehen!
[thunder cracks]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[all humming]
♪ ♪
[birds tweeting]
[all humming]
♪ ♪
- Well, it's been a whole week,
but we finally have an outhouse again.
[all whimpering]
Camp master is first! Gotta go! Gotta go!
Gotta go! Gotta go, go!
- Oh, we missed a nail! - I got it!
[pained grunt]
[screams]
[whimpering]
- [sobbing]
Outie!
- [sighs] Here we go again!