02x13 - Barometz

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Lost Girl". Aired September 12, 2010 – October 25, 2015.*
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"Lost Girl" focuses on the gorgeous and charismatic Bo, a supernatural being called a succubus who feeds on the energy of humans, sometimes with fatal results. Refusing to embrace her supernatural clan system and its rigid hierarchy, Bo is a renegade who takes up the fight for the underdog while searching for the truth about her own mysterious origins.
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02x13 - Barometz

Post by bunniefuu »

Thank you.

For the car.

She's not the best on gas, but she'll get you from A to B.

And hit on!

Mostly by guys in cheese grater hats, but-

Got it.

Speaking of gas, for some reason when you go over sixty clicks, it starts to smell like gas so you might want to make frequent stops to...to, well avoid brain damage.

Maybe we should just take the bus.

No sorry, it's uh-

It's okay, really.

Be careful on the road okay?

All set?

Okay. One sec sweetie-

Well have fun and let me know if you need anything okay?

Anything at all.

I'm not going to call you while I'm gone.

And I don't want you to call me either.

Why does it feel like I'm never going to see you again?

You will, Bo.

I have your car.

I am coming back.

For good.

I've recommitted myself to the Ash.

What?

He saved Nadia's life. I owe him everything.

Thank you...again.

Yeah-



Alright we're off-



I said I'll be thrilled to work a double shift tomorrow, Marcus.

Just so long as you don't mind taking a long hard swig off my backside.

Yeah... Twenty-five years I've been at the Royal Celtic Museum.

And who do you think is responsible for keeping the artifacts and the art work safe?

Gonna march in there today and give him a piece of my mind.



Burn air, you could!

Fat slag...

My mother was right...

WHACK!



Life is hard when you don't know who you are.

It's harder when you don't know what you are.

My love carries a death sentence.

I was lost for years.

Searching while hiding.

Only to find that I belonged to a world hidden from humans.

I won't hide anymore.

I will live the life I choose.


(phone beeping)

Chain letter?

Oh, something like that-

So, what's on the books for today booby cakes?

Trick asked me to drop by, but then I was hoping you and I could put our heads together and find a way inside the Ash's compound.

Panty raid?

Nope.

I'm gonna force-feed Lachlan a buffet of right-hand burritos and stiletto boot tacos.

Mmm. Those sound delish.

They do don't they.

And the sun is shining.

Does Bo want to tell the class why it is she's planning on starting a w*r?

Because that unbelievable d*ck-wad Lachlan tricked Lauren into recommitting herself to the Light Fae.

What?

I'm gonna choke the lucky charms out of his purple little heart.

How'd he do that?

You wanna know how he did that?

Yeah...

Okay- See-

He tried to...like-

Just because Lauren thinks that he's um-

See, because he helped wake Nadia it's like-

Actually, I don't really want to get into it, Kenzi.

Okay?

Yeah, I thought you might not...

You know, I let myself trust him!

You know?

One of these days I'm going to stop being so naive.

And when that day comes, I'm gonna-

You know what I'm gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

Sleep in.

Oh honey, come here-

You know trusting someone ain't so bad.

Right? I mean it's better to trust and lose, than never trust at all.

Who are you and what have you done with Kenzi?

Huh?

Wait, what is that?

No, no, no, no!

(Bo laughing)

"Still pretty?"

"I haven't laughed like that since the last time "you made me laugh like that."

Wait- "How long until sushi goes bad?"

"My mom wants to know."

Wanna hang today?

I know!

He's a total stalker right?

You love him!

No, I don't.

You love Nate!

No!

Oh my God-

You totally got some.

Oh honey please, it takes a lot more than a blooper to shallow right to get past first base with me.

Okay, you have to work for this!

You know what, Kenzi?

I think I'm gonna fly solo today.

Bo, don't-

No, honestly, I got this.

You just have a great day hanging out with your new boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

Two words, succubus-

Boob punch!

Bye, Kenzi!

If you get hurt going after Lachlan alone so help me!

Hey, remember I said I gotta go help Trick?

You know I find it so strange that a high-ranking Light Fae Police Detective spends so much of his time running errands for a bartender.

You haven't seen my tab.

(laughing)

What's so funny?

What in the name of all that's Holy- Is this?

Uh my favorite t-shirt obviously.

Right well, no, there's no way that I'm living in a house with a man who has his partner's face on a t-shirt. It's just weird.

Really...

Well I guess I'm not moving in then.

What?

T-shirt's a deal-breaker, babe.

Do you really want to do this?

Move in... and play house?

Yes... Yes, I do.

Excellent.

Well, in that case I guess you won't really... really be needing this. So I will just-

What are you doing?

No, I think I have to.

You're asking for trouble.

Bye-

Oh, you're so dead!

Bo: Hey!

If I m*rder the Ash, do we have another Stag Hunt or does the job just go directly to Hale?

I am hoping this is merely a hypothetical exercise.

He lied to me Trick.

And what's worse is he used me to force Lauren into giving her life over to the Light Fae again!

What?

Nothing for nothing, but he deserves a good swift kick to the zipper part of his pants!

And there's nothing I'd like more than to help you, but unfortunately your timing couldn't be worse.

See I knew you would say something like that.

Tonight is the blood moon.

What?

Every twenty years or so on this night,

I can go into a trance and devine the future.

I want to look at this evil that's coming.

See what we're up against.

Well what kind of a trance? Is it dangerous?

It can be in particular for me.

But not if I have the right ring.

"The Kingmoor Ring."

These rings possess the charmed abilities of the material from which they came.

And I can't complete the ritual without this one.

It will staunch the bleeding.

Bleeding?

Trick, are you crazy?

Maybe.

I need you to forget about Lachlan for now.

Wha-

For now.

I need you to get me the Kingmoor Ring.

My life could depend on it.

Of course.

Where do I find it?

It's usually kept at the Royal Celtic Museum.

You want me to break into a museum and steal a ring for you?

No. I already stole it.

I didn't steal it myself. I paid someone else to.

Oh good-

A shifter named Teague.

He just flew in from England with the ring.

Greedy bastard wants more money but I don't have time to renegotiate.

I'd go myself but I have to go see an old friend about a hallucinogen for the trance.

Hallucinogen?

Like the magic mushroom-y kind?

Barometz. It's a plant.

It's also part sheep.

You grind the bones, boil the blood, inhale the smoke and have a vision.

Of plant sheep being slaughtered?

Bo, this is serious.

The side-effect of the Barometz is severe bleeding.

Without the ring I could bleed out.

And at the risk of sounding dramatic, this might be the only chance we have to find out what's headed our way.

After tonight it'll be too late.

You ready to go Trick?

Just about.

This is the payment we agreed upon.

Wow.

Don't ever let Kenzi know you're hiding gold bricks in here.

If you wouldn't mind using your special talents to get him to rethink his current position.

I'd be eternally grateful. As would all Fae kind.

Sure.

And watch you back.

This Teague can't be trusted.

A shifty shifter. Got it.

Ugh-

God.

I'll just lay the boots to Lachlan later.

Bye, guys.



Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not polite to stare?



Wow. I clean up nice.

I take it back.

I am guessing that you were sent here to hasten the negotiations.

I am just not used to looking in the mirror and seeing myself so full of crap.

BANG!

I don't think it's necessary to insult me.

I am a man of business nothing more.

Well let me ask you a question man.

Besides screwing people over and going back on your word, if you had to go to the bathroom right now, would you pee sitting down?

Ugh!

I am going to take what is finally owed to me!

Okay?

No more Mr. Ten Percent! This is my chance!

Two gold bricks for risking my neck huh?

And stealing this?

No. No-

I have used my talents to make people rich and all I've gotten in return is a bloody identity crisis.

When I look in the mirror I don't even see my face!

My real face!

I see celebrities and security guards and police men and bank tellers!

I have made myself a ghost for people like you.

So if finally getting out of the game means I have to become you for long enough to rob Trick blind, so be it.

Before you walk around pretending you're me, there's something you should know.

Oh, yeah?

Well what might that be?

Looks can be deceiving.



Sorry, pal.

But hey you're one step closer to retirement.



I once had a boyfriend who wore sandalwood behind his ears.

Is that you Fitzy?

Hello, Wai Lin.

Such a happy coincidence.

I was just thinking of the time we made love in the rain.

With the eyes of the entire Terracotta army upon our writhing naked bodies.

She was much prettier before she got into dr*gs.

Hey man no one's judging.

Yeah.. play on, player.

Have you police men come to raid me?

No...we uh actually just came to see if you had a Mogwai to sell.

(nails cracking)

We're here for the Barometz!

Oh...

Wai Lin is a Luduan.

She'll find the truth so there's no point in lying to her.

And it would be in your best interest to take your hand off that shotgun, Lin.

If Dyson so much as suspects foul play he'll tear your throat out before Hale can finish whistling your brain into a soup.

Touchy, touchy...

You know what I've come for and I don't have time to waste.

Sure, sure.

But Barometz has a price.

Four questions, four true answers.

Freely given.

One vile of Barometz bones.

Yes?

Agreed.

Wonderful.

(knocking)

I just found something really weird.

Oh like on your person?

Oh...no.

♪ Dear new older boy, hello my name is Kenzi, ♪
♪ and I live next door to you, ♪
♪ that's right next door directly, ♪
♪ and I I I I I like ponies, ♪
♪ and I like milk more than I like juice- ♪

Stop it-

Stop it, you're gonna ruin it.

♪ So if you like some of those things too, ♪
♪ yeah yeah just like I do, ♪
♪ then one day do you think that... ♪
♪ I might play with you. ♪

Oh my God-

I know.

You wrote that for me when you were six.

Isn't it sweet?

No, I mean oh my God, you are such a psycho.

What? Why?

Because you still have this.

What do you just carry it around with you, and pretend to not be crazy?

Kenz, I didn't know that I had it.

It was in a box of old notebooks, and I came across it last night when I was going over old songs.

You know and I think that we should jam it out together.

Listen um Bo's on a job and I'm really worried about her, so maybe this isn't the best time to finish the "Ponies are awesome" song.

Kenzi, can I tell you something important?

Sure...

♪ And I I I I I like ponies, ♪
♪ and I like milk more than I like juice- ♪

Alright if you're sticking around I am definitely going to need some coffee.

♪ Hey new older boy- ♪

Or maybe a sh*t of whiskey.
Kenzi-

Yeah?

You are so pretty.



1419...

We were on board a Song Dynasty Junk Ship heading to the Americas-

Lin-

You were carrying a box.

You were very protective over it.


What was inside that box?

You know I can't tell you that just like I couldn't tell you then.

I want to know.

I demand to know!

Don't make me force you to talk.

Oh sure...you're almighty Blood King.

Maybe you are immune to my powers...

Or maybe no one is immune to the truth.

You wanna try your luck?

(Hale laughing)

Blood King?

In the box was the skull of a very dangerous man.

I will not say who or where it was buried.

And if you try and force me to tell you, I will give Dyson permission to use whatever force is necessary to make sure those fingernails click their last clack.

Your wife. She d*ed.

How?

She was k*lled.

During the Great Fae w*r.

Her throat-

Her throat was slit in battle.

Barometz, Lin.

Now!



Of course I am owed one more question.

Since you wouldn't give me the truth about the box.

Was it your fault that your wife d*ed?

If I had opened my veins sooner to write the laws that brought us peace... maybe she'd still be alive.

Still be with me.

But I didn't.

If that means it's my fault then so be it.

Hey pretty boy-

If you ever want a good time of sex, you give me a call okay?

I am sad to say I am spoken for.

Oh no fair-

You love her?

I said, do you love her?

(nails cracking)

I can't love Ciara.



Hope this little trinket does what you say it will.

Thank you.

Look, Trick, if bleeding is a side effect of this trance, why are you going under?

I mean, why not Dyson or Hale?

It seems kinda risky you know, for...for someone like yourself.

You know, considering.

Hale: Whoa whoa whoa-

Bo knows too?

Wow.

I'm the only who can manipulate the Barometz vision to devine the future.

And at the risk of bleeding to death.

I understand your concern but it has to be me.

Hey.

Hey.

You okay?

Yeah I'm fine.

So...

Have fun in the future.

Bo, I need you to leave Lachlan be.

The last thing we need to do is alienate our most powerful ally.

Hale: And the compound is locked tight.

Not to mention me and Dyson are kinda legally bound to alert the Ash whenever there's a thr*at made on his life.

Would you change your mind if you knew Lachlan was this nasty thing coming our way?

We'll know soon enough. Until then he's innocent.

Well I could go over there right now and prove that this son of a bitch is pure evil!

Bo you can't just charge in there with your head down swinging.

There's too much at stake.

I'm telling you to stand down!

I'll leave it alone.

Well since I've suddenly found myself with a quiet night in, would you mind if I borrowed some light reading?

Take anything you like.



Happy hunting.

Thank you.



Uh huh-

I think that someone just had a lot of fun.

Oh, it was okay-

Well then let's trade for a little bit.

Or we could... do this together.

I have a ninja sword you know...

Mmmhmm-



I'm uh-

I'm leaving tomorrow, Kenzi.



Of course-

Kenzi!

Yeah, well that is your M.O. right?

Leaving. Without a trace without saying goodbye.

It's not like that.

There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of you and wonder if I'd ever see you again.

God, I'm so stupid.

And all that is true.

Did you ever have a job writing Hallmark cards?

Kenzi-

Because you should.

You got some really good lines hombre.

And I want you to come with me.

What?

I got some gigs coming up.

Nothing big but they're out of town and I was hoping-

That you would come with me.

Look this is weird for me too.

I've never done this before but-

I was just thinking that if you don't come... then I'm gonna be miserable.

So! Uh...

There that is-

(laughing)

What do you say?



Hellz...yes.



Whatever happens during the trance do not wake me.

If I get to the thirty minute mark pull me out.

A few seconds longer and it could be fatal.

How do we wake you?

You'll think of something.

Okay!

Spark me up!



Ahhhhhhhhh!



It's been a long time.


I never lost hope I'd see you again.

Show yourself.



That's the same look you had on your face when we got married.



Fire!

(alarm sounding)



Hello, darling.

(growling)

This is surreal-

It is real, Trick.

I've been watching you since the day I d*ed.

Waiting for the right moment.



I know what you seek, Trick.

I've seen what is coming for you.

What? What is it?

You are right to be afraid.

Tell me.

There was an ancient evil feeding off the Fae during the Great w*r.

It feasts on our aggression our rage.

When you spilled your blood and wrote an ending to the w*r, you starved this evil.

Now it is coming to k*ll you.

It's going to k*ll you all.

I ended the w*r because the world depended on it.

If I hadn't no one would have survived.

I only wish I'd stopped it sooner.

It was a mistake, Trick.

You interrupted our true destiny.

You created peace but it's not real.

There's still much animosity between the clans.

The w*r was going to right itself.

A natural peace was coming.

No...

There was no other choice.

There is still time to undo what you have done.

To unwrite the laws in your blood.

Patrick-

It says if you do what it asks it will give me back to you.

We can be together again.



Okay-



(growling)

Ugh!

I have to admit I was kind of on the fence about you.

I was hoping you wouldn't be the one to come and take my head.

It would just look so super above my fire place.

What's a girl to do.

The Ash's head-

Up on your wall-

Would be quite the feather in your cap.

I'm sure you'd find a way to take credit for that too.

You and your mother are like two peas in a pod.

Looking to k*ll the Ash like she tried to, is that it?

Bo and Aife, the two Dark Fae sluts.

Ugh!



Go on. It's okay.

You should quit while you still can.

You're outmatched, unskilled vagrant that you are.

You're not the first dumb ass to underestimate me.

And you won't be the last.



I gotta say the Dark really, really suits you.



I've never looked good in pastels.

It's a skin tone thing.

It's your rashness-

Your inability to control your emotions.

Hell hath no fury like a woman totally screwed over-

That kind of thing?

Ahhh!



You're dangerous.

You're a danger to everyone.

I don't think you realize just how much Dark is inside you.

It's in your soul!

Everyone you know will suffer-

The doctor, the old bar keep and the pretty pretty friend of yours.

Ahhhh!



Are you trying to goad me, Lachlan?

No, not at all.

But if I were how am I doing so far?

Scale of one to ten? Not bad!



(Trick groaning)

Hale!

Yeah?



What the hell?

(groaning)



My wife would never ask me to do this.

Darling, what are you talking about?

I'm right here.

To unwrite the laws of the Fae.

To let the w*r between the Light and Dark resume.

She knew how horrible it was.

Trick, please just do it for me.

Who are you really?

AHHHHHHHH!

(screeching)

(glass shattering)



That's it.

Show your true face.



Whoever sent you to k*ll me sent the wrong little girl.



I did not come here to k*ll you.

I came here to get the truth.

The truth?

The truth about your nature perhaps.

To see if those dark feelings you keep bottled up inside are really who you are.

To prove that whatever this thing is-

Whatever the Nain Rouge keeps warning me about-

It's already here. Because it's you.



The Nain Rouge.

Yeah!

Little girl. About your height.

Well if you feel so strongly about it-



Take my life.

Claim your vengeance.

Come on, I'm right here.

DO IT!

Ahhhhh!

Like I said I am not in the k*lling business.



But I don't mind a little justice from time to time.



I think you and I need to have a little chat.

Trick: Who are you?

How are you able to manipulate my vision?

I am the Blood King.

(laughing)

The Blood King.

Blood King is no match for Garuda.

Garuda?

But they went extinct a millennium before the Fae ever existed.

Garuda extinct?

No one told me.



Just as Fae feed from humans we feed off Fae.

Their rage and hatred.

You ended our feasting with your filthy blood.

We will drink you dead.

No!

I stopped you once I'll do it again.

Even if it means spilling my own blood once more.

(laughing)

(sniffing)

But you already did.

We smelled Blood King's blood when the Great Fae w*r was ended.

And we starved and waited hoping to smell it again to exact revenge.

Then there it was...

Like a wish blown... across a dandelion clock.

Barely nothing... But just enough.

Like a whisper in a storm.



And now finally-

(sniffing)



We found you.

What?



We've smelled where you are.

No-

(laughing)

The Dal Riata.

The Dal Riata!

THE DAL RIATA!

(screeching)

(screaming)

The Ash: Contrary to what you believe-

I'm actually one of the good guys in all of this.

Oh yeah all good guys lie and cheat and prey on defenseless humans, and thr*aten to t*rture people.

I was testing you, Bo.

I had to use your doctor friend to get under your skin.

I know.

It wasn't easy for me either.

What are you?

What you see standing before you is what's left of the Naga.

Is that like a Fae boy band or something?

Because I don't think Justin Timberlake keeps members of his old group in a box.

Those heads you saw in the chest were my heads, my brothers.

Over the years they were taken away from me.

Cut off from my shoulders by scared villagers, mystics and other...greater evils.

Why?

For my venom.

It t the only way to k*ll the most destructive presence our people have ever known.

The Garuda.

I don't suppose that's a smoked cheese is it?

It's the thing that's headed this way.

The evil the Nain Rouge spoke about, the evil I've been tracking and fighting for centuries upon centuries.

Well, why didn't you just tell me?

I needed to be sure.

I had to be sure this time.

Sure of what?

The Garuda feeds off our anger and our v*olence.

I needed to be sure that you unlike your mother could control that anger.

Not to be lead by your emotions making you vengeful and intent on blood.

Why me?

Why do all of this to me?

Because of your abilities.

They come from lust passion, not aggression, not hatred-

In order to defeat the Garuda you must be able to att*ck without attacking and like it or not Succubus-

You're perfect.

But, the time has come, Bo.

This is our last chance.

Last chance for what?

I need you to lead the Fae into battle against its greatest enemy.

And take this bastard down once and for all.

What do you say?

Are you up for the challenge?

Will you be my champion?

(Trick groaning)

It's time!

(Trick groaning)

Come on!

I don't understand him! Come on!

What do we do?!

GRRRR!

(gas whistling)

(coughing)



Hey Bo-Bo! Where you been all day?

I've been calling you and texting you!

I mean I've been doing other stuff besides texting-

It might be referred to as "sexting."

Bo, you okay?

Oh yeah- Sorry Kenz-

I just um-

I don't what I'm-

Today-

Has been the best day ever?

Was one strange, messed up day.

Dude let me tell you it has been so wickedly, wickedly messed up!

What did you do today?

Do you want to know what I did?

I can't get into it right now, Kenz.

I think I just have to go to bed.

I said, do you want to know what I did?

Kenzi-

Long fly ball, oh baby, looks like it's gonna be gone, and yes it is out of here!

Homerun!

And if I don't mind my saying it was one for the hall of fame, and that is not the first time Nate has swung a bat, let me tell ya-

Oh-

That's great Kenzi.

I'm happy for you really.

He even asked me to go away with him on tour.

Do you think I should go?

Yeah-

Yeah, go-

Really? Okay!

I'm gonna go pack! Ahhhh!



And I'm gonna get up early tomorrow and-

Save the world.
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