01x05 - Big Time Bad Boy

[bunniefuu]

♪ rollin' past graffiti walls. ♪
♪ billboards lighting up the block. ♪
♪ - everyone of us on a mission. ♪
♪ - ohh yeah. ♪
♪ because the night is young. ♪
♪ the line is out the door. ♪
♪ today was crazy but, ♪
♪ tonight the city's ours. ♪
♪ live it up until the morning' comes. ♪
♪ today was crazy but, ♪
♪ tonight the city is ours. ♪

wow.

Gustavo, the song is great.

Ehm, of course it is great.

I wrote it.

But the band isn't great.

What missing is the secret rock and roll ingredients.

Emos.

♪♪♪
♪♪♪♪

the bad boy.

The ill-tempered rebel with a flair for synchronized dance.

One of you has to be it.

I say it's Kendall.

♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪
♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ where you go big time ♪
♪ what you know, what you feel ♪
♪ never quitin', make it real ♪
♪ when you're going big time ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ hey, hey listen to your heart now ♪
♪ hey, hey don't you feel the rush ♪

# oh-oh, oh-oh #

# hey, hey #

♪ go and shake it up ♪
♪ whatcha gotta lose ♪
♪ go and make your luck ♪
♪ with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got so you got to live it ♪
♪ big time ♪

Gustavo, why do we need a bad boy?

[Snap]

Gustavo, it's Griffin. The band needs a bad boy.

Bye.

He's driving me crazy!

But he's also right, because the bad boy is a rock and roll tradition.

Notice the back turned to the rest of the band.

Bad boy.

Notice the back turned, the dark clothing, and the scowl.

Bad boy.

But there can only be one bad boy per group, as learned from the bad boys experiment of '95.

Didn't sell a single cd.

But we're best friends.

We never turn our backs on each other.

No.

Not gonna happen.

Then let me let you in on another rock and roll secret.

The bad boy is also the most popular member of the band, makes the most money, and dates the hottest models.

I can be bad.

I'm so bad.

Look at my back. Look at my back.

Bow to the queens, boys.

No watch.

And please take back the money.

Katie.

You...

Need a friend.

Why? I have you, the guys, and the housekeeping staff.

You need a girl type friend, someone to play doll's with, someone like that new girl Molly.

Hi, I'm Molly.

I saw you earlier, right?

Well, I just moved in, and I would love to play with you.

How about tonight after homework?

Sounds swell.

See you there.

Bye.

I don't like her.

Sweetheart, you can't judge people without getting to know them first.

You can really hurt people that way.

[Man screams]

[Laughing]

[Screaming]

Who cuts a jelly donut with an axe?

You said you wanted half.

[Knocks on door]

Hi, little one. Is your mommy here?

She's in the can. Talk to me.

Well, we just checked the grounds, and tell her the guy with the axe was the groundskeeper, and the blood was jelly...

From a donut.

Okay, so you're saying my mom busts me for judging people, then she goes and judges some guy as an axe maniac when he's really a plant-cutting donut eater?

Yeah, your mom was way off.

Thanks, coppers.

Was that the police? What'd they say?

That axe boy is still on the loose.

[Gasps]

Whoo!

[Screams]

Yo, yo!

Wussup, mama knight?

[Girls screaming]

You like that? Yeah.

Gustavo says one of us has to be a bad boy.

But you're all nice boys.

Oh, I am so glad you're here.

There's an axe maniac on the loose!

Oh, well, we'll be extra careful then, mom.

We promise.

[Ding!]

[Together] We want pizza!

Now!

Sorry.

Just kind of hungry.

[Voices overlapping]

You really think having a bad boy is a good idea?

Quiet. Here they come.

[Aggressive rock music]

Next!

♪"b" to the "a" to the "d" ♪
♪that's me a bad ♪
♪boy-eee ♪

really, a grill.

Logan!

You like that?

You like that?

You like that?

No.

Okay.

So Kendall is the bad boy.

You're gonna need to start wearing black clothing and talking deeper and slower.

You mean be fake.

I can't.

Besides, I'm terrible at faking.

No, Kelly is terrible at faking.

I can always tell when she lies to me.

I have never...

Lied...

To you.

See?

Gustavo, we just don't want anything fake about our band.

Your band?

Your band?

This is my band.

Are you telling me that you're gonna ignore me and Griffin and the record company and not be our bad boy?

Yeah, pretty much.

Bad boy.

Get Griffin over here.

Why isn't his back turned to the rest of them?

Because he won't do as I say!

Which makes him the bad boy.

And I don't turn my back on my friends.

That's good.

I respect that.

But I said I wanted bad.

You want bad?

Yeah, you like that?

You want that? Want that?

[Screaming]

A bad boy is someone parents would never let their daughters date, and I would let my daughter date any one of these boys, which is bad.

Do something about this, or I will.

Wait. I already did.

Say hello to wayne-wayne.

What? What?

♪ yo, yo I'm wayne-wayne ♪
♪ from the mean streets of Detroit ♪
♪ I'm bad-bad as my bling-bling ♪
♪ and it's rapping grooves I exploit ♪

give him the contract.

Isn't he bad?

Bad.

But great.

I mean, really, really bad, but, like, in a good way.

Wow.

Wayne-wayne, blow it up.

Later later, griff-griff.

You, wayne-wayne, I'm...

Wasting your time-time.

Look, I ain't here to make friends, okay?

I'm here to take big time rush to the next level.

The wayne-wayne express is leaving the station.

So you fools step on...

Or step off.

Wayne-wayne out-out.

[Together] We don't like him.

Yes, you do.

You all do.

He's the bad boy, and he's staying at the palmwoods.

So be good boys and make friend-friends with wayne-wayne.

Who's wayne-wayne?

He's...

[Knocks on door]

It's Molly and not the axe lunatic.

Hello, Mrs. knight. Can Katie play?

Katie, Molly's here.

I'm gonna be in here in a long while.

Too much fried food.

Maybe later, Molly.

Okay.

Is she gone?

I know you were playing video games in there.

There's something wrong with her.

Katie, you can't judge a person before you get to know them.

Really?

Because you judged that guy with an axe without getting to know him.

Maybe he was a nice maintenance man who was cutting a jelly donut.

Oh, I think I can tell the difference between an axe lunatic and a donut enthusiast.

Now, help me take out the garbage.

[Scary music]

[Screaming]

No, no, no.

I told you to store these mannequins in the basement.

Why do we have mannequins?

I am the manager, and you will do as I say.

Now, help me get this new palmwoods sweater off. The neck's too tight.

[Sighs]

Come on!

Ow!

You're hurting me!

[Together] Go wayne-wayne!

Go wayne-wayne!

Go wayne-wayne!

Go wayne-wayne!

Go wayne-wayne!

Go wayne-wayne!

Go wayne-wayne!

[Laughter]

First he joins our band without our permission.

Now he steals our girls... who have no interest in us... but it's still not fair.

And that's why we're gonna get rid of him.

Kendall, get rid of him.

Why me?

Because he scares us.

We are a band.

And we're gonna do this together, because we are not afraid of some loudmouth, backwards-hatted, droopy pants wearing... he's right behind me, isn't he?

You want trouble-trouble, Ken-dork?

Bring it, bring it.

Yeah, we've decided that there's only room for four members in big time rush.

Great-great.

Yo, griff-griff.

The guys agree with me.

Five in the band is too many.

Sounds fresh, wayne-wayne.

I'll stop by the studio tomorrow to see which one goes.

[Screams]

Griff-griff out.

You see...

My contract states that I'm guaranteed to front a band, and I picked this band.

Ooh, a contract.

We're so scared.

My contract also states that I get a posse.

Scared now?

Yeah.

A little scared.

Kind of big guys.

I've kind of got chills on this side of my arm.

[ Intel bong ]

Man, he even makes sipping out of a coconut look tough.

Focus.

One of us is gonna get kicked out of the band.

My money's on logan.

Mean.

Nobody's breaking us up.

We're a team.

We're not afraid of wayne-wayne or anybody else.

Hey, guys.
[All scream]

Oh, relax, I didn't get the part.

Maybe throwing the casting director in a flying headlock was a bad idea.

Camille, we're in an urgent save-our-band mission right now.

Hey, when did Wally Dooley move to the palmwoods?

Wally who-ley?

Wally dooley.

Yeah, he must be up for a bad boy role.

We worked together on the magic middle school.

Yeah, he played towel boy.

[Together] What?

Hey, look, it's towel boy.

He looks hot.

Better cool him off.

[Zap!]

[Laughter]

I guess I'm the one that needs the towel.

[Laughter]

So wayne-wayne didn't grow up on the mean streets of Detroit.

He grew up in a mansion in Dallas.

His dad invented toast on a rope.

And he's gonna kick one of us out of the band?

Well, we're gonna kick him out of the band, 'cause we don't need no fakey-fakey, poser-poser... he's behind me again, isn't he?

Hey, wally.

Hey, Camille.

Oh, and news flash: This town is full of phonies, and nobody cares.

Contract.

Hey, what do you guys think of the name wayne-wayne rush?

Dude, once Gustavo finds out that you're a phoney-phoney...

You are out-out.

You guys, Gustavo is a joke, okay?

Griffin has the power, and he'll get rid of whoever I say, and I say...

It's you.

And there's nothing you can do about it, because you can't stop the wayne-wayne train.

♪chug-a chug-a chug-a chug-a ♪
♪chug-a chug-a chug-a chug-a ♪
♪chug-a chug-a cg-a chug-a ♪

okay, stop this; It's not cool.

What?

Wayne-wayne is a total fraud.

He wants to kick Kendall out of the band.

Really? I would've bet on logan.

[Laughs]

Well, you would have lost.

Wait. Whoa.

We can't let wayne-wayne kick Kendall out of the band.

Gustavo, what are you gonna do?

Nothing.

You can't do nothing.

Gustavo, you can't let this poser tell you what to do with your band.

It's not my band, okay?

It's Griffin's.

Look.

I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't had a hit in a while.

This band is my ticket back to the top, and until I get back there...

What he says goes.

We'll team up.

No.

We'll need cool code names. I'll be the falcon.

I'll be the snowman.

And you'll need a tree hat.

No tree hat!

Gustavo, we can come up with a plan.

Ooh, they are really good at plans.

No plans.

I don't want you hockey heads pulling any of your schemes or shenanigans that are gonna get me in trouble with Griffin and the record company.

Now, here are your lyric sheets for the song you're gonna sing for Griffin in one hour.

James.

Logan.

Kendall.

Carlos.

Study them.

Learn them.

Got it?

[Together] Got it.

Mom, I'm headed to the pool.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. No pool until they find Axe McGee.

But don't worry, you won't be lonely.

Molly is gonna come and play with you in the apartment every day until he's caught.

[Knocks on door]

Oh, that must be Molly now.

Okay, confession time.

The cops told me there is no axe maniac.

He's just the palmwoods maintenance man.

So I'll go to the pool and not be with Molly, who, again, is extra creepy!

You are just saying that 'cause you don't want me to worry.

I'm telling you the truth, mom. He works here.

[Chainsaw buzzing]
Look, mom, there he is.

Unbelievable.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

On second thought, I want to go play tag with Molly in the hallway.

Tag. You're it.

Why can't they make sweater holes for plus-size heads?

Dude, my mom thinks you're a chainsaw freak.

Oh, that's why she always screams when she sees me.

You're gonna help me fix this.

Okay.

I'm gonna unplug our tv cable, mom will call maintenance, that's you, you'll come up without your chainsaw, and show her you're normal-ish.

All right.

Tag. You're it.

This is fun.

Is it just me, or is she kind of creepy?

I know, right?

[Upbeat dance music]

What are we waiting for?

I'm antsy.

We're missing Kendall.

So you got rid of Kendall.

My money was on logan.

Why does everyone keep saying that?

Let's hear my new bad boy band.

[Aggressive rock music]

Yeah, let's hear it.

Oh, no.

Ooh, it's a bad boy off.

A bad boy off?

That sounds interesting.

Doesn't that sound interesting?

You know, one thing I know about bad boys is...

They like breaking stuff.

[Screams]

He's right. Bad boys do like breaking stuff.

What was that?

You smashed one of my platinum records?

Oh, yeah? Well...

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

[Screams]

No! No! Stop!

Ooh, round one of the bad boy off goes to wayne-wayne.

Someone ring a bell.

[Ding! Ding!]

What's next?

♪I said I'm wayne-wayne on the mic-mic ♪
♪I'm badder than bad ♪
♪I said the city is ours ♪
♪we're gonna take it like we're mad ♪
♪your rhymes are weak ♪
♪mine fit like a glove ♪
♪gustavo's got a face only a mother could love ♪

no, no, no! No, no, no, no!

Round two goes to Kendall.

[Ding! Ding!]

I can't wait for round three.

[Glass shattering]

[Jackhammer pounding]

[Cat screeching]

That does not sound good.

Wah!

He locked it.

Yeah, yeah.

[Electricity crackling]

[Screaming]

[Crash!]

He destroyed my office, my music awards, and he used my drawer as a bathroom.

Bad boys go where they want.

That's a new one.

Original.

And very, very bad.

No, no, no!

I'm the bad boy.

Me!

Dude, he went in his desk.

I'll show you, and I'll show you, and I'll show all of you.

I'll... I'll...

[clang!]

Kumbaya.

Mm!

Too far?

You're right, wayne-wayne.

Big time rush should be only four.

You can't fire me.

You know why?

'Cause I have...

A contract.

You have to put me in the band.

I have to put you in a band, just not this one.

They already have a bad boy.

No!

But I don't want to wear these clothes all the time, and I won't turn my back on my friends.

Fine.

And you can still date my daughter.

But I want you nowhere near my desk.

Griff-griff out.

No, but I'm the bad boy!

No, you... you can't... I have a contract!

I have a contract. I'm a bad boy!

You!

Nice work.

Wha?

But he... he smashed, and you...

He went in...

I teamed up with the hockey heads, 'cause they do have good plans.

I was here the whole time. When did you plan this?

"Let's get rid of wayne-wayne"?

Hey, I could've helped. I'm part of this team, too, you know?

Yes, you are.

But you're still a horrible faker liar actress.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're just not good.

[Crying]

Yeah, you're right.

[All cheering]

Ha ha!

Yes!

[Knocks on door]

I got it.

Must be the maintenance man to fix the cable.

Hello. I am here to fix your... hi-ya!

Ah!

Yeah, that didn't work.

Hey, mom. I'm a bad boy.

What's the maintenance guy doing on the floor?

Maintenance guy?

Let's check out wayne-wayne's new band.

The ziggle zaggles!

♪ always eat your bananas, ♪
♪ banana-lama-wamma wamma-nanas, ♪
♪ yum yum yum yummy nanas, ♪
♪ banana-lama-wamma wamma-nanas, ♪

he is really bad.

Tonight, a warning for anyone on the 210 freeway.

A police chase is in progress.

The car is believed to be driven by Molly Finster...

That's Molly!

A 20-year-old con actress who passes herself off as an 11-year-old trying to land jobs in Hollywood.

I told you she was weird.

Yeah, you got that right.

♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪

mom?

Is that your rental car?

Yep.

Okay, big time rush from the top.

♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪
♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ where you go big time ♪
♪ what you know, what you feel ♪
♪ never quitin', make it real ♪
♪ when you're going big time ♪
♪ hey, hey listen to your heart now ♪
♪ hey, hey don't you feel the rush ♪

# oh-oh, oh-oh #

# hey, hey #

♪ go on, shake it up ♪

# oh-oh, oh-oh #

# hey, hey #

♪ go on, shake it up ♪
♪ whatcha gotta lose ♪
♪ go and make your luck ♪
♪ with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got ♪

# so you got to live it big time. #