01x15 - Big Time Dance

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Big Time Rush". Aired November 2009 - July 2013.*
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A look at life for the members of a boy band who are trying to make it big in the music industry.
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01x15 - Big Time Dance

Post by bunniefuu »

[Bell ringing]

Okay, everyone, pencils down.

Pass your finals forward, and I'll see you all at tonight's end-of-year Palmwoods school party.

[All groaning]

Wow.

Everyone seems really not excited.

No, it's great.

We get cupcakes, punch, and entertainment...

By bitters.

I think that's a duck.

Miss Collins, don't you think we could do something remotely cool for our end-of-the-year school party?

Like a dance.

With slow dances.

And dates to slow dance with.

All: Yeah!

Well, we've never had a school dance before, because we're really just one small classroom, but if a certain band wants to be the new school dance committee, sounds great.

[All cheering]

So you need to find a theme, snacks, decorations, chaperones, and we have no money, no place to have it, and since today's the last day of school, we need to have it tonight.

♪ Ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪
♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ where you go big time ♪
♪ what you know, what you feel ♪
♪ never quitin', make it real ♪
♪ when you're going big time ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ hey, hey listen to your heart now ♪
♪ hey, hey don't you feel the rush ♪

# oh-oh, oh-oh #

# hey, hey #

♪ go and shake it up ♪
♪ whatcha gotta lose ♪
♪ go and make your luck ♪

♪ with the life you choose ♪

♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got so you got to live it ♪
♪ big time ♪

Okay, the theme of our dance is...

[Together] Move our butts, 'cause we got to do this fast.

Oh, here comes Kendall.

I think he's gonna ask me to the dance.

Jo, hey I need to ask you something.

[Ding!]

Could you go to the convenience store and get them to donate some snackage for the dance?

Oh, sure, Kendall.

Is that the only thing you wanted to ask me?

Oh, no, um...

Could get some sodies too?

[Record scratch]

Sure.

Now we need a dance location.

[Screams]

Of course I'll be the entertainment at your school party.

Behold, my new extreme magic act.

Watch...

As I escape...

The handcuffs of death.

[Laughs]

Ow!

Ah!

Actually, we're gonna have a dance this year.

Can we have it here?

No, there's a handsome doctor's convention in the conference room.

And I was never asked to a dance. Therefore, I despise them...

And you.

Stupid...

Handcuffs.

Where else can we have the dance?

Got it.

There's a warehouse we can rent for 28 bucks.

Now, where's L.A.'s m*rder district?

[Groans]

Well, that only leaves us one option.

Gustavo, we were wondering...

[Together] Can we have a school dance here tonight?

Sure.

[All shouting at once]

[Together] Did you say yes?

You can have your dance at my studio on one condition.

You must sing tonight onstage in front of everyone.

We need to start getting you guys some stage practice.

And since you will be terrible tonight, at least the audience won't boo and throw bottles at you.

So we got a deal?

[Together] Deal.

Great.

Let's hit the studio and rehearse a dance.

We need to find dates. Got it.

What we need is a dance expert that'll teach these guys a new dance on the run.

[Thunderclap]

It's me.

Come quick.

You rang?

Okay, dance committee, all we need now are some chaperones.

[Together] Dates.

Got it.

Now, who are we gonna ask to the dance?

I call Jennifers.

[Together] Which one?

Yep.

Hello, ladies.

[Together] What?

Will you go to the dance with me?

No.

Will you go to the dance with me?

No.

Don't even go there.

[Buzzer sounds]

I call all the girls currently in Palmwoods Park.

What's your game plan, mon ami?

Uh...

You know, I was thinking about possibly asking, um...

Camille.

Yeah, she's cool and not my type.

I approve.

Now, go.

I don't want to do this.

Go.

Would you stop it? Okay?

I've never actually...

I've never actually asked a girl out before.

What? You've been on dozens of dates.

Yeah, double dates that you organized or a girl has asked me out, but I've never actually, personally asked a girl out before, and, you know, I'm...

Freakin' out.

Asking a girl out is easy.

You just have to be confident and relaxed.

Hey.

Would you go to the dance with me?

Sure.

See? Now, go.

Oh, hey, Logan.

What's up?

I was wondering, m- m-me and James were actually on the...

Ssss... [sputters]

[Laughs] It just...

Bleep, blap, bloop. [Laughs]

You are pathetic.

Mm, that's why you're helping me.

Stop right there.

Whoa.

And go like this.

Excellent.

Mom!

We're having a school dance tonight.

Could you please be a chaperone?

Sure. Sounds like fun.

Maybe you should bring a date.

[Dishes clattering]

[Laughs]

That's funny, me bring a date to the dance.

That is funny, right?

No, chaperone.

Just chaperoning is good.

Hey, Katie.

Mm-hmm?

When is the last time mom had a date?

Legend says when I was three.

Hmm.

Find-your-mom-a-date.love.

[Electronic beep] Here's one.

"Smooth operator 75."

He's a lawyer, a fighter pilot, and a gold medalist in the hammer throw.

Make it so, baby sister.

[Electronic beep]

Yes!

Daddy's got a date to the dance.

[Laughs]

Cancel the date. Cancel the date.

[Buzz!]

Aw, nuts.

Ow.

Ow!

[Sighs]

What's plan "b"?

I don't know.

It's not like there's some handsome doctor's convention in town.

[Romantic guitar music]

Oh, wait.

There is.

Stop walking right now...

And start dancing like this.

Exquisite.

Remember, Palmwoods students, the dance is in just seven hours, so if you want that special date, the time to ask is now.

Why aren't we being asked to the dance?

Are we too unapproachable?

[Buzzer sounds]

[Together] Keep walking, nerdy kid.

We cannot show up to the dance without dates.

Our rep will be ruined.

Actually, Carlos did ask us, but we turned him down.

Jennifers, I think we all know what we have to do.

We've got great news.

[Together] You're taking us to the dance.

Ladies, I'm flattered, but there's only one Carlos to go around, so...

Oh, we're not dating you.

My date to the dance will be Olaf, the Scandinavian supermodel.

My date to the dance will be Marcello, the Italian heir to the spumoni sports car empire.

And my date will be Ronaldaldo, the Jamaican soccer star.

Three different guys.

I wonder why I didn't think of that.

Oh, yeah, 'cause I'm not crazy.

[All laughing]

[Together] Let's go.

"X" stop!

And "x" dance.

Exceptional!

Now, Camille already likes you, so all you have to do is say, "will you go to the dance with me?"

Sure, James.

Now, let's do this.

Okay.

Go!

Hello, Camille.

Logan.

Will you...

Go...

To the dance...

With me?

Ah!

Oh!

Logan, you may not believe this, but I've never been asked out before.

No, I believe it.

This is my first dance, and I'd like to be asked in a way that I can remember, not by cue cards.

Cue cards? What are you talking about?

Are you gonna hit me with a shoe?

No.

And I'm not looking for a prince to ride up on a horse, but how about something with a little flair?

Flair.

Sure, James.

♪ Ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪

[all shouting at once]

Thank you, gentlemen.

It's not you, it's me.

This is too much!

Whatever works for you!

I love you both for caring...

But I am perfectly capable of getting my own date.

[Together] No, you're not.

I'm fine.

Mom, it's time to put down the romance novels and find some romance.

You're not getting any younger.

Fine.

You want to get me a date?

Get me...

Him.

But only him.

This is the man of my dreams, the love of my life.

Nobody else.

Good luck.

Okay, let's get him.

You got it.
Okay, search for "Fabio" and "fake butter."

Oh, no.

This guy mom wants to date is seriously famous.

Look.

Hey!

Everyone loves the taste of freshly grilled meat.

But you can't drag your barbecue around with you everywhere.

Isn't that right, Fabio?

It's such a hassle.

Look.

That's why there's the Fabio pocket griller, which grills meat any time, anywhere.

And make you look sexy, like Fabio.

Just put your favorite meat in your pockets two hours before your next meal.

And when the timer dings...

[Ding!]

It's grilled meat time for Fabio.

And become a member of the Fabio pocket griller platinum club, and Fabio will personally deliver your pocket griller to your front door.

Wait, what?

That's right. Order now!

Order! Order!

No, let me type. I'll help you type.

Now, girls love it when you're fun and creative, like using my "will you go to the dance with me" flying disc.

Observe.

See?

Now, quick, aim at Camille and fire.

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

[Screams]

Yeah. What else you got?

Hey, Carlos, are you going to the dance tonight?

Stephanie, you have no idea.

[Sighs dramatically]

Okay, so I...

Cut the chit-chat.

Here's your bag of costumes.

Let's practice.

Oh, I am so thirsty.

Could you get me some punch, Olaf?

[Ding!]

[Fabric tearing]

[Zipper closing]

[With foreign accent] Yeah, I'm Olaf, bringing the punch.

Oh, Jennifer, he's darling.

But you simply must meet my date, Marcello.

Marcello?

[Fabric tearing]

[Chainsaw rumbling]

No. That's Ronaldaldo, the Jamaican soccer star.

I want Marcello.

[Jackhammer pounding]

[Cat yowling]

[Together] Carlos!

I've never been three people before!

Hey, if you want to date the Jennifers, that's what it takes.

Now, here's a list of things to say at the dance.

And show up prepared to samba.

How am I gonna learn how to samba?

Did someone say "samba"?

[Knocks on door]

Hello?

I'm Fabio.

Did somebody join my pocket grill club?

Fabio.

How would you like to date a totally cool and amazing woman?

[Ding!]

[Record scratch]

Oh, no.

Not another kid who asks me to date their mom.

I'm leaving.

Time for plan "b."

Ah!

Not another net!

Kendall, I got some snacks for the dance, and...

Help me!

I was wondering, is there anything else you wanted to ask me about the dance?

Yes.

[Ding!]

Can you make a theme banner and decorate the studio?

Ow!

You're strong.

Girls love flowers and me.

So give her these and just say everything I say.

Testing, testing.

Will you go to the dance with me?

Sure, James.

Now, go. Go, go, go, go, go.

[Insect buzzing]

Go away!

[Screaming]

Go away!

Go away!

[Screaming]

Go away!

[Screaming]

Now, if I take the tape off your mouth, you're not gonna scream, right?

Mm-mm.

[Screams]

You said you weren't gonna scream.

I scream because it hurt.

Katie?

Hey, mom, what's up?

What is goin' on?

Don't go in the bathroom.

There's nothing in there.

Look, I'm sorry I snapped earlier.

I guess I am a little sensitive about the dating thing.

But I wanted to thank you for caring.

We just want you to be happy, mom.

Hey, I am happy.

Even if I don't get a date with the buff and dreamy Fabio...

I still have great kids.

How'd you get free?

I'm Fabio.

I can do anything.

And your mom sounds very nice.

So you'll take her to the dance?

What's she look like?

Oh.

Not bad.

But I have a grill to deliver to Azusa, so I can't promise you anything.

[Ding!]

Ooh.

Have a kebob.

Okay.

[Record scratch]

So did you guys find a date to the dance?

We need a little help.

Okay, class, welcome to the first ever Palmwoods school move your butt dance.

[All cheering]

Oh, Olaf, you're so famous and my date tonight.

Yeah, Jennifer.

Olaf will meet you on the dance floor.

Yeah, Jennifer.

I am not just a soccer king, but I am your date, mon.

Carlos?

Yeah?

No, I am Olaf.

No, I am Ronaldolo.

Ahem!

I mean, Marcello.

That's Olaf.

You're dating Marcello.

I'm dumping Marcello.

He's stupid.

Marcello's not stupid.

Actually, Olaf dumped you for me.

He's mine.

He's mine!

[All shouting at once]

Carlos!

[Record scratch]

Do you want to dance?

Carlos...

Would love to dance.

Oh.

And, ladies...

Marcello und Olaf and Ronaldaldo

have left the building.

And how hot is Stephanie?

Whoo!

Well, Stephanie got a date to the dance.

And I can't believe Kendall didn't ask me.

Logan tried asking me, but he's really terrible at it.

[Horse neighs]

[Trumpet fanfare]

Is that Logan...

On a horse?

Hello, milady.

[Clears throat]

Would you like to accompany me to...

The dance?

[Together] Say yes!

Heck, yeah, I will.

Onward, trusty steed.

Ow! Logan.

Ya!

Ow!

[Applause]

Not a real horse.

Everybody!

Let the dancing...

Begin.

[All cheering]

Hey, what are you doing out here? Let's dance.

Hey?

You can't just waltz in here, dressed all half-horsey and say, "let's dance."

I've been waiting all day for you to ask me to be your date, and you never did.

Seriously?

I just thought we were kind of, you know, together.

Really?

You thought we were together?

Like, together, together.

Yeah. Is that okay?

It's...

It's great.

Let's go dance.

Actually...

I think have to sing.

♪ There were so many things ♪
♪ that I never ever got to say ♪
♪ 'cause I'm always tongue-tied ♪
♪ with my words getting in the way ♪
♪ if you could read my mind ♪
♪ then all your doubts would be left behind ♪
♪ and every little thing would be falling into place ♪
♪ I would scream to the world ♪
♪ they would see you're my girl ♪
♪ but I just keep getting ♪
♪ stuck, stuck ♪
♪ but I'm never giving ♪
♪ up, up ♪
♪ in the middle of a ♪
♪ perfect day ♪
♪ I'm trippin' over ♪
♪ words to say ♪
♪ 'cause I don't want to ♪

Hi, I'm Fabio.

Whoa!

Would you like to dance?

Yes?

[Ding!]

Oh!

Would you like a pork chop?

Oh.

They grow up so fast.

♪ Keep getting ♪
♪ stuck, stuck ♪
♪ but I'm never giving ♪
♪ up, up ♪
♪ in the middle of a ♪
♪ perfect day ♪
♪ I'm trippin' over ♪
♪ words to say ♪
♪ 'cause I don't want to ♪
♪ keep you guessing ♪
♪ but I always end getting ♪
♪ stuck, stuck ♪
♪ but I'm never giving ♪
♪ up, up ♪

[cheers and applause]

That was great!

Exceptional!

I'm taking credit for all of this.

Well...

Looks like this dance has a happy ending for everyone.

Except I spent so much time helping Logan...

I never got a chance to ask anybody to the dance.

Uh, no.

You asked me.

Uh, no.

He asked me.

No, he hit me with a flying dance disc.

[Rumbling stampede]

All: No, he asked me!

Oh.

Maybe I did ask a few girls out.

Ladies, I'm gonna... I'm gonna get some punch.

You want any punch?

[All screaming at once]

Get him!

Help!

[Together] He'll be fine.

Dance, everybody.

Dance.

♪ Because the night is young ♪
♪ the line is out the door ♪
♪ today was crazy but ♪
♪ tonight the city's ours ♪
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