01X08 - Survival of the Hottest

Episode scripts for the TV show, "Victorious". Aired March 2010 - February 2013.*
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Aspiring singer Tori Vega navigates life while attending a performing arts high school called Hollywood Arts.
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01X08 - Survival of the Hottest

Post by bunniefuu »

Oh my God!

I am so hot!

Ain't that the truth.

What's the temperature now?

Well, According to my pear pad...

Here in Hollywood, It is 103 degrees.

Man, I hate sweating.

I know.

My arms feel like warm, wet ham.

Hi.

I'm really hot, But I'm still in a good mood.

Robbie, You done with that water?

No.

Give it to me.

All right.

What?

You're not sweating.

Havin' fun there?

How can you not be sweating?

I don't sweat.

Everyone sweats.

Not Jade.

Jade never sweats.

What do mean, She never sweats?

Sweating is gross, So I don't do it.

So, what, You're just like cold-Blooded?

Jade? Cold-Blooded?

Hmmm, what a surprise.

That witch got sunscreen In my eyes.

Help me, Rob.

It's okay. Don't fret.

There you go.

Oh, now my face Is gonna tan unevenly.

What's up amigos, amigirls?

What's all that money for?

Me.

I set up a kiddie pool Over there And I'm chargin' people Five bucks for five minutes.

Sinjin!

You got three more minutes.

Okay.

Is it true that sweat and pee Are like... Cousins?

What now?

Man, how long Is this heat wave gonna last?

They say 'til Tuesday.

Why would they say that?

Wow, it's up to 106

In the valley.

Hey, check venice beach.

Okay.

Venice is only 91 degrees.

Oh, let's go to venice.

You guys wanna?

What, blow off school?

I can get with that.

I meant Saturday.

I could borrow My uncle's pickup, Hook it up my R.V.

And we could all hit the beach.

Let's do it.

Well, that sounds Really cool, man.

The beach? I am so in.

No, no, no, no, no.

Stay away.

No.

Wait a second...

I can't wait.

No one likes you.

Hey! Hey, Sinjin.

He's face down In the kiddie pool.

Yep.

It's cool.

He's still got two minutes left.

No.

Are you okay?

Maybe you should give him Mouth to mouth.

He's all right.

Gotta pee, gotta pee...

Hurry back!

Kay-Kay!

She has the bladder Of a squirrel.

Who's ready for beach fun?

Beck, this R.V. is so cool.

Oh, thanks!

And you like, live in this?

Yeah, well, Parked in my parents' driveway.

At least you have parents.

Hey, some things are private.

I know.

Hey, how come All these windows Are tinted so dark?

'Cause my dad bought it From a rapper.

All the windows Are made of bulletproof glass.

What rapper?

Fat biscuit.

The fat biscuit?

Oh, my gosh.

You know, I heard he's thin now.

Yeah, He had that stomach surgery.

Aw, good for fat biscuit.

Hey.

What?

Does it worry you That you never sweat?

No.

But what if one day, All your sweat, like, Builds up inside, And you just explode?

I would love that.

All right, it's startin'

To get hot in here.

Yeah, let's go.

Let's hit that beach!

This way, people.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

The door won't open.

Man, I love the beach!

You got the sunscreen For daddy?

Come on.

Just open it.

Something's blocking The door.

Oh, man!

Some idiot parked a huge R.V.

Right next to us.

Whatever, Let's just go out the back door.

There is no back door.

Well, that's stupid.

I'm getting very hot now.

Will somebody open a window?

The windows are bulletproof.

They don't open.

Aw, thanks a lot, Fat biscuit.

What?

I meant the rapper From whom Beck's daddy Purchased this vehicle!

I'm getting hotter.

Just push on the door.

I can't push A 7,000-Pound R.V.

Out of the way.

Then push harder!

That doesn't make any sense.

All right, all right!

Let's not bug out.

Dude, nobody knows We're trapped In this toaster oven.

Cat just went To the bathroom.

She's gonna be back In a few minutes, And then she can start Beck's truck And then pull us forward So we can get out.

Good point.

Okay.

I freaked out. I'm sorry.

Come on. It's all good.

Oh, there's some in there For you, man.

Thanks, bro.

Yeah. No problem.

Yeah.

Hey.

Hi.

'Sup?

What's that song You're playing?

I'm not sure.

Well, it's really cool.

Do you wanna hang out With us?

Oh, I can't.

I have to get back To my friends.

Oh, come on.

Just hang with us For a few minutes.

Please.

Come on.

Okay.

Where is Cat?

She's been gone For 20 minutes.

The girl only weighs

90 pounds.

How much pee can she hold?

That's it. I'm calling her.

What's Cat's number?

I already tried.

No signal.

Oh man, I told you all Not to get f-Mobile.

Well, where's your phone?

I left it in my pants And my grandma washed it.

All my contacts, gone.

Well, can we at least turn on The air conditioning?

The a.C. Doesn't work Unless the truck is running.

Then go start the truck.

I can't get out.
Why did you invite me here?

We didn't!

You invited yourself!

No one likes you.

I'm feelin' very hot now!

You guys, It's 102 degrees in here.

I need a cold drink.

Me too.

Where are they?

In the truck.

What are we gonna do?

Cat!

Cat!

Look out, look out.

Gonna get you.

She's right behind you.

It's so cold! It's so cold!

She's not even wet.

It's so hot!

I can't believe Cat's not back yet.

How hot is it in here now?

107 degrees.

For so many years, I've prayed every night To be hotter.

This isn't what I meant!

There's parts of me sweatin'

That I didn't know could sweat.

Oh my God, I forgot.

What?

I brought a fan, A battery-Powered fan.

Get out.

Come on.

Here it is.

Oh, stop.

That's it?

That's your fan?

Yeah.

It's not big.

It's an embarrassment.

You teased us.

Okay. Okay, fine.

Then I guess I just won't turn it on.

No, no.

Turn it on.

Now you like my tiny fan, Don't you?

At least it oscillates.

Um, I'm sll not happy I'm so hot.

Where could Cat be?

I hope she's okay.

Hey. Shaved ice.

Yay, I love shaved ice.

We'll take five, please.

Sure. Flavors?

What flavor do you like?

You pick for me.

Cherry for the lady.

Yay, that's my fave.

One cherry.

Thank you.

I'll take lime.

Grape.

Orange.

Ah, brain freeze.

It's slowing down.

No! Come on, fan!

Work, work! Spin!

Robbie, Robbie stop.

Roie, robb stop it.

No, I need it. I need it.

He batteries are dead.

Robbie stop.

Oscillate! Spin!

It's over.

I'm extremely hot now We've got to get out Of this stupid R.V.

Yeah, offense.

We at least have to find Something to drink.

Your fish t*nk.

Oh, yeah!

I forgot about my fish t*nk.

Wait.

We're gonna drink fish water?

Beats dyin' of thirst.

When was the last time You cleaned it?

You're supposed to clean it?

Oh, come on!

We can't drink Dirty fish water.

Well, if we don't drink Somethin', We'rall gonna be just...

Wait.

Trina, what are you doing?

What do you mean?

Why was your head In your bag?

It's cool in there.

I heard you swallow.

Gimme the bag.

No!

Give me the bag!

No! No! You can't have it.

No! No! You can't have it.

Water! She has water!

Give it back!

You had water This entire time And didn't share With the rest of us?

If I shared it, I wouldn't have had as much For me.

There's only like One swallow left.

I want it.

No. We will share it.

There's barely enough To fill up the cap.

Then we will share One capful.

Okay, we'll share it.

You get nothing.

Just keep your hands steady.

Steady?

Like this...

All right. No sipping.

Everyone gets one tongue dip.

Oh, that's refreshing.

Here.

No!

It's empty.

Well, I'm sorry.

I couldn't help myself!

Okay.

Okay, something's dripping On me.

Something's dripping on me.

Nothing's dripping.

Yes, look on my arm.

See? And on my forehead.

What's going on?

What's happening?

You're sweating.

No. No, I'm not.

I don't sweat.

I am not sweating.

Look at me.

No.

Look at me.

No.

Look at me!

What?

You're sweating.

We gotta get out of here.

Yeah, thank you, Catherine obvious.

What?

I said, "thank you, Catherine obvious."

Did she say Catherine obvious?

It's captain obvious.

The expression is

"Thank you, captain obvious."

It's not catherine?

No.

Who would catherine be?

Catherine can be a captain.

You spun a beautiful pot.

You helped me spin it.

Later, we'll glaze it.

Thank you.

But I really should be Getting back to my friends.

Oh, you can't leave now.

Paul just made tuna tartare.

We caught the tuna This morning.

You gotta stay For the tuna tartare.

Have some tuna.

Okay.

Cheers.

Okay. It's official.

I have achieved Maximum hottitude.

I've never been this thirsty.

For the first time In my life, My tongue isn't moist.

These fish mock me.

How dare they swim around, Enjoying that filthy water?

I'm gonna drink That filthy water.

No.

No, Robbie.

Robbie, don't.

I need to do it.

Don't do it, Robbie.

What choice do I have?

It's his call.

Well?

Oh, no! No. No.

That's my bag.

Don't drink the fish water.

What do we do?

I don't know.

When I was a little boy, My grandma, Before she lost her mind, She used to say to me, "Andre, "No matter how bad things get, "You can always make it better By singin' a song."

That's so stupid.

♪ you don't have to be afraid ♪
♪ to put your dreams in action ♪
♪ you're never gonna fade ♪
♪ you'll be ♪
♪ the main attraction ♪
♪ not a fantasy ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when it turns out right ♪
♪ 'cause you know ♪
♪ that if you live in your... ♪

Hi, everyone!

You guys really missed me.

Jade, you're all sweaty.

Never speak of it!

What happened?

We were trapped in there.

For hours.

Hope you had a nice pee.

Trapped?

Why didn't you guys Just open the door?

'Cuz there's a gigantic R.V.

Parked right...

I guess they left And we didn't even know.

Who cares? It's over.

I drank fish water.

It's all right.

Come on, guys.

It's only 4:30, And there's a large Pacific ocean right over there.

Let's enjoy that ocean.

Hey, fat biscuit.

What's up?

Isn't this your old R.V.?

With the bulletproof windows?

Yeah. I think it is.

We had some times in there.

Don't talk about it.
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