04X11 - The Slap Fight

[bunniefuu]

And, an important thing to remember, is that all movie directors have different styles of filming a movie.

Action!

What?

That's what they say when they make movies.

We're not making a movie right now.

Cut!

All right.

Let's take a look at a scene from a short film that Sinjin made last year.

Yes, yes.

It's called... "Monkey-Time Bucket-Balls".

[ Music ]

My goodness.

I'm thirsty.

So... so thirsty.

Soda.

Yes.

Wet moisture.

Ewe! Sinjin!

Oh, what is that?

I wanted the audience to experience what a soda feels, when it's drunk by me.

I bet that soda felt disgusted and ashamed.

What does it mean, to be a woman?

[ Bell ringing ]

All right, wait wait wait, just a second.

Your short films are due first thing on Tuesday morning.

So everyone, meet with your production groups and make sure you're on track to get it all done.

I've got it.

Thank you.

Okay guys, we're gonna start sh**ting tomorrow morning, in Sikowitz's classroom seven-thirty sharp.

Uh Tori, you're gonna bring the main prop.

Yep. A violin with a secret, scary Kn*fe inside.

Cool. Any questions?

I have one.

Do you guys think my new spray tan looks natural?

[ Music ]

♪Here I am once again.

♪Feeling lost but now and then.

♪I breathe it in to let it go.

♪And you don't know where you are now.

♪And what it will come to if only somebody could hear.

♪When you figure out how.

♪You're lost in the moment.

♪You disappear.

♪You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action.

♪You'll never gonna fade.

♪You'll be the main attraction.

♪Not a fantasy.

♪Just remember me.

♪When it turns out right.

♪Because you know that if you live in your imagination.

♪Tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination.

♪In my victory.

♪Just remember me.

♪When I make it shine.

Booga-booga!

Ah!

Oh my God! You look so funny in this pic!

Lemme see it!

If you wanna see it, you can go to TheSlap.Com later, and look at my page.

You are not putting that pic on The Slap.

Oh yeah I am.

I have an album on my Slap Page called "My Icky Little Sister".

That is so... ah, who cares?

I mean, because what do you have, like thirty-four followers?

Pffftt.

Uh, I happen to have nine hundred and seventy-seven followers.

So "pffftt" to you.

You have nine hundred and seventy-seven followers?!

How do you have so many?!

Because I'm amazing, I'm pretty, I'm smart, I'm pretty...

And, how many followers do you have?

Three hundred and fourteen.

I'm so much more popular than you.

You know, I don't have time for this.

Because I have to go make a deadly violin for my short film.

What short film?

It's called "Socks and Violins".

Oh. Well, ya know what you should call it?

What?

"Three hundred and fourteen followers... and sad".

[ Music ]

How's my makeup look?

Fancy.

Does it hurt?

No.

You do it way more gentle than my mom does it.

Aw.

I'm here! Sorry I'm late. Did we start filming yet?

No.

Robbie can't play a psychopath violin player without the special prop.

Yeah. Where's the Stabolin?

Uh...

You brought it, right?

Uh, all I have to do is connect the blade to the violin neck part thingy and...

You didn't finish the main prop for our movie?

What are we gonna do now?

Come on, man. Wow.

It's not my fault!

Then whose fault is it?

Mine!

You had all last night... what happened?

Trina happened!

She waved her followers right in my face!

What followers?

On The Slap!

She has way more followers than I do! And she bragged about it!

She shamed me!

And that's why you couldn't finish building the Stabolin?

Yes!

I ended up on The Slap all night, posting fun pics and tweeting stuff so I could get more people to follow me.

Why?

Because it bugs me that Trina has way more followers than I do!

Okay, relax! Look at it this way...

Most people think Trina is an awful, gross person, right?

Well... yeah.

Okay, and way more people follow her on The Slap, than follow you.

Yeah.

Wow. That says a lot.

Don't be sad.

Why not?

I don't have a good answer.

Ya know, I don't think that anyone should care how many followers other people have.

Trina has over a thousand.

What?! Really?!

What was that?! Whoa!

Okay, there is no way Trina Vega has more followers than...

Oh my God. She has more followers than I do.

Where are you going?

To get more followers.

Jade, it's not important how many...

I gotta get more followers.

Beck, you can't leave, we gotta...

Bye.

Where are you going?

For a walk in the sunshine.

Ooh, I'll come with you! I love sunshine!

Hey! Are you guys just going to get more followers?

No.

Yes, that's right.

[ Music ]

Sinjin...

Sinjin...

Oh, hey Tori.

What time is it?

Uh... almost eight.

That's so weird.

What, that I'm wearing my underwear backwards?

How could you tell?

I can't.

Oh.

What's up?

I was supposed to meet Andre and Beck, Jade, Cat and Robbie at seven-thirty to sh**t our short film.

Well, Robbie's in the janitor's closet.

Why?

Hey. I don't ask people why they're in closets.

And be sure to tell all your friends to follow me on The Slap...

And now the contest...

Begins!

What are you doing?

Uploading a video to The Slap.

But we were all supposed to meet in Sikowitz's room at seven-thirty.

I had the Stabolin all ready for you.

Well, I'm busy getting more followers.

See, I'm having this contest...

Because contests are one of the best ways to get more followers.

Well, what kinda contest?

It's called "where's Robbie?"

See, every hour, I tweet a video of myself, in a secret location, and my first follower who finds me gets a cool prize.

So, what prize did you offer just now?

My sneakers.

Well, we really need to get to work on our film, so why don't we go... ah!

There he is!

Hey! Ow!

What are you doing?

Those are my shoes!

Watch my sore toe!

[ Music ]

Then show me.

Show me your phones, right now.

Hey! What's your name?

Pepper.

Do you follow me on The Slap?

No, I... I...

Why not?!

I just moved here.

Okay, well whip out your phone and follow me on The Slap!

Okay, okay!

All of you, right now!

So, you're scaring people into following you?

I'm gently suggesting that they follow me.

Hey!

Do you follow me on The Slap?!

Uh uh.

Follow me!

We have to go make our short film.

No, I have to get more slap followers.

Why?

Because Beck was up all night tweeting hot pics of himself, so he got two hundred more followers, and there's no way I am gonna let him have more followers than I have!

Why not?

Because I'm prettier than he is!

Are you?

Follow me!

Cat? Hey! Hey, Cat!

Tori... just... said hey... to... me.

Ya know, we're supposed to be sh**ting our film right now, for class?

Tori... just... reminded me...

About our... short... film.

Hash-tag. Don't... care.

Will you put your phone down and talk to me?

I can't. I'm doing a thousand tweets a day.

For what?

Because the more you tweet, the more followers you get.

Yeah, but there's no way you can think of a thousand things to tweet every day.

I... like... birds.

And cheese...

There you are.

Oh!

Hey, what's up Tor?

Why aren't you in Sikowitz's room, working on our film?

Because everybody's running around trying to get more followers, and...

I'm disgusted by all the nonsense!

Well, so am I!

You started the nonsense!

Well, I'm over it!

Good.

I'm gonna go get ready for first period.

I'll see ya there.

Okay, everybody out there on TheSlap.Com...

It's your man Andre, tell all your friends...

Ah ha!

Ah!

I caught you! Slap-handed!

Look. I can deal with having less followers than Trina.

But I will not have less followers than Robbie!

I can not have it!

Ugh, pathetic!

I can't be last!

I can't! I can't!

Hey... everyone...

I'm having... a contest.

Ah ha!

Ah!

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Doorbell ]

Come in!

Hi.

Sorry it took me so long to get here.

You live at the top of a very large hill.

You ran here?

Sure.

I'm not usually invited to the main people's houses.

So what do you need?

Here's the deal. I'm in, like, a battle, with Andre, Beck, Robbie, Cat, and Jade...

The main people.

Yeah.

And what's the goal?

To get the most followers on The Slap.

And I'm gonna do it, too. You'll see.

They'll all see.

You're so cute when you're serious.

Serious Tori.

So, to get myself more followers, I'm gonna...

Wait! Robbie's gotten over a hundred more followers in the last twenty minutes!

Stand aside.

Yep, looks like he posted a new video.

Play it.

Hey there, Slaparoos.

Well, I promised everybody that when I hit six hundred followers, I'd give myself a complete make-over.

And since I hit six hundred followers this morning...

Here ya go.

Wow.

I don't like where this is going.

Would you follow me?

I'd follow me.

Hang on, looks like Beck is doing a live stream-cast.

What's he doing?!

Let's find out by clicking.

Okay, here I am, live on The Slap, about to wash my car.

Oh. You know I forgot my rags.

Hmm, guess I'll have to use my shirt.

This isn't gonna get him that many more followers.

Who wants to watch Beck wash his car?

I'll turn it off.

No no no no no no.

Um, if you want more followers, you need to make your video.

Right okay uh, you work the camera.

Got it.

Ready... go.

Yo yo yo, what do ya know?

Oh my God.

This is toe-ray-me, and you are on my page, here at TheSlap.Com.

Now, as I promised yesterday...

I am gonna take the Kioki Powder Milk challenge!

Way to bang that gong.

People say it's impossible to put a teaspoon of Japanese Kioki Powder, into a glass of milk, and then drink it in under a minute.

Well, let's find out!

I'll just uh take the Kioki Powder...

Dump it into this glass of milk, stir it.

And now, I'll hit the timer, and show ya how it's done, son.

Please tell your friends to follow me!

I'm doing this for my followers!

Follow me!

[ Music ]

What?

You chucked my noodles!

Ow!

What was that for?!

You posted a video of you doing the Kioki Powder Milk challenge.

So?

I was gonna do that to get more followers, but now I can't because you did.

Well, tough tooties.

Don't you ever say tough tooties to me.

You know it's true.

Why would I do that?

You tell me why.

I'm not jealous.

Just admit it!

Admit what?

The truth.

I got nothing to admit.

What's your guys' problem?

Andre is desperate to get more followers.

At least I do my videos with my shirt on.

Well, nothing is as lame as having somebody tweet for you.

Whoa.

Wow.

He can't prove that!

Nobody can prove that I had anyone tweet for me!

Your grandmother's been tweeting for you and you know it.

You don't know chiz!

Oh! Oh don't I?

Let's just read some of "your" tweets from last night.

Uh, at nine-thirty "you" tweeted...

"Ah! There's a martian under my bed!"

I thought there was.

And at ten-seventeen "you" tweeted...

"Help me! My vacuum cleaner wants to eat me!"

I got confused.

Hi.

I just... sat down...

And said... hi.

Cat, if you're just gonna sit there and tweet stupid, pointless tweets, then please go sit somewhere else.

Tori... is being...

Mean... to me.

Hash-tag...

Cramps?

How could you?!

I mean, really, how could you?!

What'd Cat do?

She tweeted... "Big news! Robbie Shapiro has bimples".

What are "bimples"?

Butt pimples!

Pimples on one's bottom!

Which I do not have!

I know.

Then why'd ya tweet that?

Because I ran outta real stuff to tweet!

And anyway, people like reading weird stuff about other people!

Okay, so she tweeted that you have bimples, nobody's gonna believe her.

Hey Robbie, I have a doctor that can get rid of your bimples.

Dang it!

Look, it's not my fault!

Tori's the one who started this godforsaken followers w*r!

Yeah, Cat you're right it is Tori!

What? You're blaming me?!

Yeah, you're right. You did it.

What's that supposed to mean?

I didn't start this followers w*r!

I just wanted to get more followers than Trina!

Well, how the helicopter did your dang sister get so many followers in the first place?!

Uh... I can answer that.

Three months ago, Trina told me that if I'd hack into The Slap, and change her number of followers from thirty four to nine hundred, she'd teach me how to jump rope.

So, I hacked in, and I gave her nine hundred slap followers.

You rigged her numbers?

Can I have my trombone back?

Sure.

Look, I just wanna say...

You guys make me sick.

Why?

Because! You're all great-looking...

And talented... and popular...

I mean, you guys star in every play at this school.

And you sing all the songs.

And you do all the talking in class.

You guys have it all.

And you're really worried about which one of you has the most followers?

Yeah. You feel the shame? Because...

You should feel the shame.

I feel the shame.

Do you guys?

I certainly do.

Yeah.

Sure.

Man. We make Sinjin sick.

And he eats food that other people chewed up and spit out.

I hate myself.

You've hated yourself for years.

Yeah.

Ya know what?

I'm happier with the five real friends I have at this table, than I would be with twenty million friends on a computer.

That I don't even really know.

Wait... how do you get five?

Uh, I hate to bring this up, but all us real friends, we're supposed to turn in a short film tomorrow morning, and so far, we've got nothing.

You're right, we've got nothing.

Hey! Do not worry.

We have, nineteen hours to finish that short film.

And I say that's plenty of time for six great friends, to make the best short film this school's ever seen!

[ Music ]

Thank you for coming.

He is a wonder to the world.

Bravo.

That's him!

That's him right there!

Mister Bowman!

You're under arrest for the murders of...

Some people.

What's happening?

What's happening?!

There is no way my violinist husband would harm anyone!

People do crazy things for money.

Mister Bowman doesn't need money.

No. All he cares about are his Socks and Violins.

Socks and Violins don't come cheap.

Ha!

Don't be fooled by the size of my Kn*fe.

Now you're all gonna be...

m*rder*d!

In the dark!

No!

Ah!

Teh end?

Well.

That was the worst short film I have ever seen at this school.

Hey...

Where's Sinjin?

And jump, and jump, and jump, and jump...

I think I'm getting it!

Good.

Now let's do our rhymes.

'Kay kay.

"B" my name is Betty and my husband's name is Bob...

We live in bubble city where we sell...

Beaver medicine.

Why don't you start the next one?

"S" my name is Sinjin and my wife's name is Trina...

I'm done with this.