03x08 - Big Time Babysitting

[bunniefuu]

Dogs, this is a very exciting time for rocque records.

We are expanding and we are climbing to the next level.

I'll say.

That coat check outside is a nice tough.

Uh, we don't have a coat check.

Huh?

And thanks to btr's success and my amazingness, I just signed a legend to rocque records.

Babylace.

Oh.

Babylace?

Rock magazine's fourth greatest guitarist of all time?

Who holds the record for the world's longest guitar solo?

Who threw up on the queen twice?

The same.

And you guys are gonna be working with him today.

We get to sing with babylace?

Yes!

Close.

You're babysitting him.

Babysitting?

Why would a 50-year-old man need a babysitter?

Guess who found the time machine?

Now, how do I get back to 1984?

♪ Ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ when you go big time ♪ what you want, what you feel ♪
♪ never quit and make it real ♪
♪ when you roll big time -
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪ hey, hey

♪ listen to your heart now ♪ hey, hey ♪ don't you feel the rush ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪ go and shake it up

♪ whatcha gotta lose ♪
go and make your luck

♪ with the life you choose

♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got so you got to live it big time ♪

Okay, babylace, meet Big Time Rush, who you'll be spending the day with.

Oh, splendid.

And let's begin our day with me going to the bathroom.

Oh, uh, no.

The bathroom is this way.

Ah, even better.

Gustavo, we can't babysit babylace.

He's famous for trashing hotels.

Yeah, not just hotel rooms.

Entire hotels!

Yeah, he's also being inducted at the hall of rock awards tonight, which means that Kelly and I have to go down to the theater and make sure that his dressing room is perfect, or I'm gonna end up like his last three producers.

Fired!

Okay, but I need to spend the day with jo, 'cause things are kind of awkward, back together, but she was gone for so long, and I'm sensing...

Stop your boy talk!

It's gonna take all fo you to keep him alive and get him to the theater by 5:00.

And here is his medical Kit.

In case his heart stops.

Again.

Whoa, wait, what's wrong with his heart?

Nothing!

I've got the heart of a lion, who is prone to heart att*cks.

For the last time, I don't need a babysitter.

I'm in the seventh grade.

Fine. You win.

No babysitter.

Thank you.

I need you guys to babysit Katie.

Can't.

We are already babysitting.

Who?

That's babylace.

Madam.

Yeah, and we got to get him to the hall of rock by 5:00.

I shall be on the balcony, lads.

Sounds good.

Wait. We don't have a balcony.

Ah.

The riviera.

We're terrible babysitters.

Whoa!

Whoa! Hold it!

I need you two to babysit Katie, but she can't know that you're babysitting her.

We can't... But we're babysitting for Gustavo.

Well, if you babysit for me, then I'll bring you back a toy.

Toys are cool.

Very cool.

I'll be back at 4:30.

Do not let her leave the palmwoods.

Stealth katie-sitting commence!

Well, how is he?

Are we good babysitters?

His blood pressure and vitals are stable, so, yes.

Yes.

Thank you, nurse.

You know, you really should grow out your hair.

You'd be much prettier.

You know I'm a guy, right?

Nope.

Oh, there's jo.

Hey, look.

I know we were supposed to hang out today, but I have to babysit a 50-year-old man.

Please don't ask.

Oh, that's fine.

I have a script I have to get through anyway.

Great. It all works out.

So good-bye kiss?

Okay.

There's that awkwardness again?

You think that's awkward?

Try seeing the boy you never forgot about kiss another girl in an elevator, then wait around while he takes all day to decide whether he wants you back or not.

Uh-oh.

Someone's got bird trouble.

♪ Bird trouble first up on the show, puppy dog will sing his monster hit

throw 'em up, your hands.

And after that, babylace comes onstage to accept his award.

Okay, five guitars, four leopard outfits, and...

Where are the jelly beans?

Jelly beans? What jelly beans?

Uh, the 1,000 imported green kiwi jelly beans that babylace demands be in his dressing room?

No beans means babylace will fire his new producer.

Which is me!

I tried to stop him, but he has a very big babysitter, and they don't pay me enough!

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait!

Who's him and... what?

Bang!

Yes, hello.

We were wondering if puppy dog may have taken some jelly beans from the dressing room next door.

Puppy dog, you seen any jelly beans?

Naw, I haven't seen any jelly beans.

Yeah, he hasn't seem them.

What?

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

Just hanging out in the crib, you know, getting our puzzle on.

Hey, you want in?

This is gonna take us until, like, 4:30.

No, thanks.

Uh, whoa, wait.

We're having so much fun.

Not leaving the palmwoods.

Neither should you.

Leave.

Wait.

Are you guys babysitting me?

Naw.

What? What are those words?

No, I mean, what's more fun than hanging out and puzzling?

Everything.

So I'm headed down the street to the convenience store to check out the new arcade game.

Oh.

Yeah.

We can't let you do that.

Now, this is just a precaution to make sure you didn't fracture anything when you fell.

Oh, but nurse, you've attached me to the chair.

Exactly.

Now, jo's not responding with text kisses.

I used to get an xo after every text.

Now there's no xs.

Just os.

Kevin, I couldn't be there for you growing up, but I'm here for you now.

You know you're not his dad, right?

Madam, please.

Now, when a girl sees you kissing another bird, all she can think about is you kissing the other bird, so what you've got to do is get jo to stop thinking about you kissing the other bird.

How?

Heart att*ck.

Huh?

I'm having a heart att*ck.

Wait, what?

Side pouch, paddles.

Passing out.

Oh, oh!

I don't know how to work these things.

Uh, button, press, rub, and clear me!

Okay, uh, button, press, rub.

Clear him!

Now, what we've go to do is blast away that bad memory of you and replace it with a great new memory.

So what was her favorite thing for the two of you to do together?

Uh, we used to love going on picnics together.

Oh, then you are going to make her the mother of all picnics.

♪ Picnic time ♪ is on my mind ♪
to win her back heart att*ck.

Nurse!

Oh, okay, uh... Button, press, rub, clear you!

Oh! That's the stuff.

Babylace-sitting is awesome.

Just so you know, I will be playing that arcade game at the convenience store today.

Switch!

And just so you know, you won't be playing that new arcade game at the convenience store today.

Switch!

Because we are gonna have our eyes on you constantly, taking turns every five seconds.

Switch!

Good method.

Impressive.

Whoa, look, you finished a border.

We did?

That was your shift.

No, dude, that was your job.

No, it wasn't. Come on. Katie!

Going somewhere?

You can't stop me.

Oh, really?

Katie cage!

All right, this is the lamest thing you guys have ever done.

Oh, yeah?

Mobile Katie cage.

Okay, grilled cheese.

Grilled.

Cold salad? I don't think so.

Grilled.

Shrimp?

Grilled.

And nothing says a little romance like...

A little candlelight.

Picnic is served.

This will definitely help Joe forget all about the kissing Lucy thing.

Plus, who doesn't like shrimp?

Pity I'm allergic.

Wait, what?

Throat swelling.

Shock setting in.

Wait, wait! No, no!

Nurse!

On it!

Hey, hey, hey.

There's been a small complication with the picnic.

Oh.

No, no, no, no, it's not that, Lucy, it's just...

My name's jo.

I know, jo.

I know.

Jo. Jo, jo.

Jo, not Lucy.

Jo.

Clear, clear.

Why isn't he up and singing?

They're out of power.

They're what?

I don't know. I think I used them too much, okay?

Clear.

Clear.

We're terrible babysitters.

We've got to do something.

You're the future doctor with all the knowledge and stuff.

Okay, uh, first, um, we diagnose the problem.

He looks dead.

Okay.

Secondly, uh, the search for the cause of injury.

Shrimp?

And so I should, uh, administer... An allergy injection.

Whoo! That was close.

So do it!

Oh, right.

Oh!

Oh.

Thank you, nurse.

You're as strong as you are female.

You know I'm a guy, right?

That's the spirit.

Son.

Son.

Your picnic.

Looks like it went amazing.

Actually didn't go at all.

Oh.

'Cause you sort of d*ed on it.

And then in a panic, I called jo Lucy.

Oh, there's plenty of time to fix things.

First, we'll need more of these green leg sticks.

Why?

Because I've realized that I love shrimp.

Don't eat that.

Here comes the swelling.

Look, puppy dog, you're very talented.

But babylace is very fond of imported kiwi green jelly beans.

And if those are not in his dressing room, then he will fire me.

Now, give me those jelly beans!

Here you go.

Yeah, there you go.

Forget babylace.

The only thing that matters about tonight is me.

Hit it.

♪ Throw 'em up, your hands ♪
♪ throw 'em up, throw 'em up ♪
♪ throw 'em up, your hands ♪
♪ that's right, that's right ♪
♪ throw 'em up, your hands ♪
♪ throw 'em up, throw 'em up ♪
♪ throw 'em up, your hands ♪
♪ that's right, that's right ♪
♪ throw 'em up ♪

okay, that kid is a total brat.

Who fell right into my trap, because I caught every rudely thrown jelly Bean.

And combined with the ones that we found on the floor...

Babylace has his bowl of imported kiwi green jelly beans.

Yeah, that's not gonna work.

I know that!

I don't need a babysitter.

I have every emergency contact on my speed dial, and if I'm hungry, I'm perfectly capable of making a sandwich.

Katie, we are men with orders form your mom to keep you from leaving the palmwoods.

And if we follow those orders, we get toys.

Toys.

I'm leave the palmwoods and playing that arcade game today.

Bring it on.

♪

how does she do that?

Oh!

Come on!

Go, go, go, go!

Hey, guys.

Cool. Babylace.

Where have you guys been?

Gustavo said we have to babysit babylace together.

Mama knight told James and me to watch Katie.

You want to switch? Tell us now.

No, we're good.

Yeah.

Katie!

Right.

I figured everything out.

We're going to write jo a love song.

A love song could work.

When she hears it, all she'll think about is you and not all the stupid things you've said and done all day.

We can't write a love song because we have to get you to the hall of rock awards in one hour.

I met, married, and divorced my third wife in less time than that.

Now kiss me.

What?

The songs got to have the words "kiss me" in it.

And it starts like this.

♪ I love you so much.

♪ I want to feel your tow-ouch hello, Fiji!

Oh, just remembered.

Can't swim.

Nurse!

Unbelievable.

Wait.

He's in the shallow end.

Come on.

Ooh, that was fun.

Trick or treat!

Oh.

I didn't know it was Halloween?

Do you kids like jelly beans?

Oh, okay. Here you go.

Oops. All gone.

You ate 1,000 jelly beans?

Those are for babylace!

Nobody cares about that dinosaur.

The only thing people are gonna remember about tonight is me.

Puppy dog.

Singing my smash hit.

♪ Throw 'em up, your hands ♪
♪ throw 'em up, throw 'em up ♪
♪ throw 'em up, your hands ♪
♪ that's right, that's right ♪

that's it.

I'm dead.

You're really gonna keep me in the Katie cage until 4:30?

After your attempts to escape us through the window, the fireplace, and air ducts... which was impressive...

You have left us no choice.

Okay.

But can I at least wash my hands?

The air ducts were filthy.

Sir, it checks out.

Well, I guess you're too big to fit through the drain, so we'll allow it.

We're really great babysitters.

The best.

Hey, how long has she been washing her hands?

Uh, 22 minutes.

Hm.

Oh, Katie!

How did she do that?

Hey, guys.

But you... The wall... Escaped?

Now back?

Here?

Well, I was in the lobby with a clear sh*t at freedom when it hit me.

It's way more fun hanging out with you guys than playing some stupid arcade game at a convenience store.

So you'll stay here with us until your mom comes back?

Why not? Now, let's go.

This puzzle isn't gonna finish itself.

So how did you remove the... Don't worry about it.

Now, we're going with the sweet love song, right?

Right.

Not the rocking love song.

No rock!

Just love.

Now, go get your bird.

Right.

Hey.

Hey.

Is that babylace?

Yeah.

And, uh, I haven't been the best with words today, so I wanted to try and do better with a song.

Yes.

We have written it especially for you.

And it starts like this.

Heart att*ck.

Oh, come on.

Nurse.

Yep.

Hey, jo.

Clear!

Oh!

Did the song work?

We haven't played it yet.

Oh.

We were gonna play you a song that might make you forget about the things that I said and did, but he keeps dying.

Sorry.

We got to start over.

Look, we need to start over.

Look, baby... You and I could just... Start over.

How do we do that?

I noticed that you just moved into the palmwoods.

Would you... Like to go out sometime?

Like, tonight?

That sounds really nice.

Daddy's so proud of you.

He's not my dad.

Okay, great.

You're smooshy-smooshy again.

You get dressed.

You get James and Carlos, and let's get him to the hall of rock awards.

Hall of rock!

Let's go!

This is such an honor! Thank you!

Okay, puppy dog goes on in 30 seconds, but we still have no babylace.

Repeat, no babylace.

Well, on the bright side, if the dogs can't get him here, at least we can't get fired.

Yeah!

Here he is. Here he is.

We got him.

And he's alive.

We're pretty much the best babysitters ever.

Oh, yeah?

Where are your toys?

Whoo!

Gustavo, I am thrilled to be part of the rocque records family, and I can't wait to hang out in the dressing room after the show and share my jelly beans with everyone.

Yeah, the thing about the jelly beans is, uh... Okay, lights up.

Puppy dog is ready to go.

And kick it!

♪ Throw 'em up, your hands ♪
♪ throw 'em up, throw 'em up ♪
♪ throw 'em up, your hands ♪

oh, I love this song.

♪ Throw 'em up, throw 'em up ♪
♪ throw 'em up, your hands ♪
♪ that's right, that's right ♪

he doesn't look so good.

♪ Throw 'em up, throw 'em up ♪
♪ throw 'em up, your hands ♪
♪ that's right, that's right ♪

oh!

Gustavo, on second thought, remove all the green jelly beans from my dressing room.

Done.

♪ Step it up, get in gear ♪
♪ go for broke, make it clear ♪
♪ got to go big time ♪ hey, hey
♪ make it work, get it right ♪
♪ change the world overnight
♪ got to dream big time
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh
♪ hey, hey
♪ give it all you got now
♪ hey, hey
♪ isn't it a rush ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh
♪ go and shake it up
♪ whatcha gotta lose
♪ go and make your luck with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪