03x12 - Big Time Bloopers

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Big Time Rush". Aired November 2009 - July 2013.*
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A look at life for the members of a boy band who are trying to make it big in the music industry.
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03x12 - Big Time Bloopers

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ I'm ready to go ♪
♪ love me, love me
♪ l-love me, l-love me
♪ love me, love me, l-love me ♪
♪ I'm ready to go ♪

Now, that's what I call a bear-y special remix.

There!

big time bear is finished.

Our best episode ever.

Told you I could direct.

And now to deliver this baby to the network so the whole world can see.

Move out!

Right away.

I edited it!

Stop it! Stop it!

Oh, watch out!

Oh, come on!

No, stop!

Oh, no!

What?

What?

What are we gonna do?

This show was supposed to air tonight.

Oh, let's do one of those silly blooper shows.

Nah.

No, yes, yes, yes!

So we'll get ciara, glick, and a celebrity guest to host it.

No.

We can come up with something better than a blooper show.

Now, think.

Hmm.

It's the big time rush

big time super bloopers show

With ciara bravo, stephen kramer glickman, and a secret celebrity guest!

♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ when you go big time

♪ what you want, what you feel ♪
♪ never quit and make it real ♪
♪ when you roll big time

♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ hey, hey

♪ listen to your heart now

♪ hey, hey

♪ don't you feel the rush ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ go and shake it up

♪ whatcha gotta lose

♪ go and make your luck

♪ with the life you choose

♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got so you got to live it big time ♪

Tonight on the super bloopers show, you'll see carlos bash into stuff, logan bust a move, james cr*ck up, and kendall freak out.

And now, here's ciara bravo, stephen kramer glickman, and fake applause.

And nba superstar chris paul!

You got chris paul? Where is he?

Hey, everybody, and welcome to the big time
super blooper show!

That's not chris paul. It's a cutout.

He'll be here.

I left a message saying we're having a blooper show emergency, so he'll be here.

You don't just call chris paul, and he shows up.

He never lets his fans down, and I am a big fan!

Now, let's go to the bloopers, ciara.

Many times on set, we can't believe the things we say or don't say or the things we don't see and crash into.

But it's those ingredients that make a super blooper, as you are about to see.

Stop it.

He'll be here.

Well?

Jennifer, please.

We have to do the thing.

Watch... Watch this, 'cause this is gonna be amazing.

Oh!

I'm good!

Bad things.

I can't do it.

Was that good enough?

Those so are very awesome.

Mm, they taste good too.

He needs to get back to the mansion and write new songs for the album, or there will be no balbum.

Got it. What are we...

Balbum? What's a balbum?

I don't know where...

Where can I buy one of these balbums?

I know, she was...

I told you... Do with this.

Time to break this... Uh...

I've forgotten my line.

Wait, wait, really, what is my line?

You were so mopey over kendall growing up that I decided to let you mumu...

And how was I supposed to know that...

Hold on. Let me take this here.

In the sh*t!

Hello?

I'm sorry.

What are you talking about?

She's...

Oops.

I am confronting my problems.

Ever notice here at big time rush

We like to pop into frame?

It avoids those long, boring walk-through-door sh*ts, and it's simply fun to do.

But it's not as much fun as our faint outs, those silly ending scene moments that say something really bad is about to happen...

Like chris paul is not coming.

Let's check out something we like to call big-time pop-ups and faint outs.

And let's find out if you can guess which member of btr is the pop-up king.

Are you ready?

Get set.

♪ elevate a little higher what time is it?

It's girl time.

♪ and celebrate

♪ elevate until we fly, yeah

♪ move, move your feet

♪ until you levitate

♪ elevate

♪ elevate

♪ we're on another level tonight ♪
♪ let's, let's elevate ♪

Hi.

If you picked carlos, you're our big-time winner.

If you didn't, you get one more chance trying to pick the big-time king of the big-time faint out.

Ready?

That was not bad.

That's your concussion talking.

Yes!

Mistletoe bad.

James is the winner!

One of the super things about the super blooper show

Is sitting down with celebrity guests and seeing what they love about the show, like today's guest chris paul.

It's great to be here, ciara.

You know, I won a gold medal this summer at the olympics, and I'm looking forward to more gold-medal bloopers!

Stephen, we need to stop this now.

Stephen? Who's stephen?

It's me, chris paul, who sh**t the ball downtown.

And, uh, I know lebron, who likes sandwiches, and I like sandwiches and bloopers.

Speaking of bloopers...

I will be here. I don't let my fans down.

Don't run away!

Whoo!

Cool! Crickets!

I'm chris paul!

It's not chris! It's a prop!

And props are a huge part of making tv, but working with them doesn't always work out, like when something breaks or when you have to catch something on-cue.

And sometimes things just fall out of nowhere.

Ow! Stop it! Stop it!

Now let's take a look at some big-time prop bloopers.

Whoo-hoo!

I was afraid!

You should follow...

You should follow...

You should follow...

The rule of dibs!

Would you like to go on a...

Would you like to... Oh!

Would you like to...

Whoo!

Yeah!

Whoo!

Probably interferes...

Hey, guys? Whoa.

All right, here we go. Let's get this right away.

That thing's moving fast.

It's okay.

You got this, carlos. Do it.

I got it. I got it all right here.

Oh, my gosh.

Stick out your tongue.

Oh, my god!

All right, close it quick.

Um...

Do it quick!

♪ mo, mo, mo, mo if you think handling props is hard, try putting yourself in the right place!

It's called hitting your mark, and stephen is off his.

So check out these bloopers we call "hit your mark, get set, go."

Now you're in front of the monitor.

All right, kendall, step to your left a little bit.

No.

Sorry. Your right.

So...

On it!

Uh, go one baby step to your left.

To my right or left?

That's it, your left. This time I got it right.

I told you this wouldn't work!

Anyone...

Anyone for a... Dude.

You okay?

I did not... Wait, where am I looking?

Wait, wait.

Oh, here you go. Here we go.
Boo!

Anyone for tennis?

Okay, we're gonna take a big-time break, but when we get back, find out which big time rusher is our top super blooper giggler.

And an exclusive interview with the star some consider the fifth member of big time rush.

Plus, test your big-time knowledge in another super blooper challenge, and more of me, c.P. Three!

Stephen.

He will be here.

He never lets his fans down!

He will be here.

As you've seen tonight, there are all types of big-time bloopers.

There's forget-your-line bloopers, crash-into-stuff bloopers, and...

And sometimes a blooper isn't a blooper at all but simply that time on set when the camera's rolling but the director hasn't shouted, "action!"

It's a playful, silly, and sometimes scary time we like to call "still rolling."

Still rolling.

Still rolling.

Oh!

Oh, my nose!

Hey, maira?

♪ still, still, still rolling ♪
♪ still rolling

♪ still rolling, still, still roll ♪
♪ still rolling

♪ still, still.

Still rolling.

There's something in...

There's something in your hair!

Get it! Get it! Hurry! Quick!

Get it out! Get it out!


♪ still rolling

♪ still, still, still rolling ♪

What?

Yay-uh!

What?

Okay!

♪ still rolling
♪ still rolling
♪ still, still, still rolling ♪
♪ still rolling oh, great, he's doing it again, james.

Oh, great.

Okay, that was cool.

Now it's time to play "what will logan do next?"

We're gonna play you a blooper clip, and then you have to guess...

What'll he do next?

Let's find out.

I have a lot of unpacking to do, but we should hang out sometime.

Yeah! That would be great!

Okay, what will logan do next?

"a," apologize and promise to do better next time...

"b," curl up in the fetal position and cry...

Or "c," throw an air punch to his co-star?

Let's find out!

Yeah, that would be great!

If you said "c," you were right a bunch of times.

That's what logan does every time he bloopers.

I am so glad to be back, because i...

Five, six, seven, eight!

I love stuff... Sorry, sorry.

I knew it'd work!

Sorry.

We, uh...

There are so many characters on big time rush, and some don't get the credit they deserve.

But now we'd like to pay tribute to a special costume that deserves more credit.

I'm talking about the bear suit.

Bear suit, we saw you at the top of the show, and many people have occupied you, from logan to carlos to kendall.

Sure.

Let's take a look back at some of our greatest bear suit moments.

Oh, hello, christmas bears.

Oh, by the way, hilarious sketch.

Um, can I help you with something?

You freaking me out now.

Bear suit. Interesting.

All right, we're going live!

You're main... Hey, jimmy.

♪ hey
♪ hey
♪ hey.

I don't speak bear.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, it's you!

And bear suit has been so popular here at big time rush, it got us wondering at the super blooper show, what if bear suit was cast in big time rush?

Huh?

Here's a grizzly peek into what could have been big time.

Bad dog alert. Bad dog alert.

Bad dog alert.

I told you they wouldn't leave it alone.

Didn't I tell you they wouldn't leave it alone?

Our golden voices must be heard...

Sometimes...

But not today.

Where is bitters?

And he gets 1/3 of the profit?

There he is.

What is that?

We don't have an expense account.

And you know how much oil we'd have to pump a day to pay for that?

And all I'm saying is that you should follow the rule of dibs, which states that the first person to utter the word "dibs"

Has proprietary claim on all car seating, remote controls, found money, tasty snack foods, and girls.

Any violation of said rule will result in the violator having to run 1/2 mile through a crowded public area in his underwear.

Anything else?

I didn't think so.

Time now for our last super blooper category of the night, and my favorite, the classic don't-laugh blooper.

I know.

I've had a hard time keeping a straight face all day.

It's a cutout. It's all it can do.

The show is not over yet.

Okay, you were warned.

While watching these bloopers, do not laugh.

And see if you can spot who made the super bloopiest giggle of all time.

♪ you're looking at me ♪
♪ something about you's got me going crazy ♪
♪ what can I say?

It's his fault. I'm not even doing anything.

No tree hats!

Oh, my god.

Oh, are we doing that scene?

I didn't know we...

"i heart kendall" signs.

♪ just give me the chance oh, no!

I can hear him in there.

Are you scratching yourself?

Were you scratch...

Were you scratching yourself there?

I can't even move.

I like stuff.

Oh!

Where...

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

As I was doing it, i...

Start in... Start in the middle...

Why do I have to be so delicious?

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.

They say that music soothes the savage beast.

You're into that stuff too?

Kidding.

They lost it.

All right, you close it.

All right.

Okay, buddy, come on.

Yeah.

What?

He's like, "be so delicious."

My goodness. Really?

Oi.

Well, you've seen the big-time bloopers all night.

But before you go, we want to leave you with some more super, as in our super stunts.

Actually, let's stay longer, 'cause maybe I haven't listened to my messages yet.

Stephen, the show's almost over, and I'm sure chris would have come if he could, but he couldn't.

He never lets his fans down.

And neither do we.

So sit back, and let's end this special night with a look back at three seasons of taking it on the chin, big-time.

He'll be here!

Now, roll the clip!

We'll see you next time.

Let's go, stephen, and take chris with you.

♪ love me, love me.

Okay, set.

Okay, good luck. And...

Holding.

Now!

Ow!

You missed.

I know that.

Wham!

Oh!

Whoo-hoo!

Where'd everybody go?

♪ love me, love me, say you're gonna love me ♪

So...

Ugh!

♪ don't tell me no ♪
♪ love me, love me, say you're gonna love me ♪
♪ I'm, I'm, I'm ready to go ♪

Ooh!

Get him! Go!

Go!

Ready.

♪ love me, love me, l-love me ♪

Hey, I made it!

Got a phone call about hosting some big time super blooper show.

I never let my fans down.

I got here as fast as I could.

Hello?

What in the world is that?

♪ ah, ah, ah, oh
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