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03x28 - The Treasure Chest

Posted: 11/12/23 06:26
by bunniefuu
-Thank you, gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen, this

I wanted to keep for myself.

But according to law, everything

here must go up for bidding.

This magnificent old seaman's

chest, genuine teak wood,

with real brass

fittings all around,

left unclaimed by

some unknown seafarer.

-What's in it,

Mister Auctioneer?

-Who knows, my boy?

But that's a very good question.

I like a curious boy.

After all, if Columbus

hadn't been curious,

America would never

have been discovered.

[chuckling]

Folks, there is no

key to this chest,

therefore the

contents are unknown.

Now, we can start the

bidding for the low storage

charge, $ .

-I'll bid $ .

-I have $ .

Do I hear ?

Do I hear ?

Oh, come come,

ladies and gentlemen.

Who knows what this fabulous

treasure chest may contain?

Pearls from the Orient,

Spanish doubloons.

A fortune in spices, a

king's ransom in rubies.

-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson,

that's really something.

-You may be right, Dennis.

$ .

-I have $ .

-Do I hear ?

-$ .

-It may be full of silver.

-$ .

-$ has been bid.

-$ .

-Or maybe full of gold.

-$ .

-$ .

-Or maybe even diamonds.

-$ .

-$ , going once,

$ going twice,

and sold for $ to that

adventurous soul down

there wearing the purple tie.

Would you see the

cashier, please?

-Hey, Mr. Wilson,

why did you bid $

when nobody raised your $ ?

-What?

Oh, good grief.

[theme music]

-This is the last one.

Oh, blast.

These keys don't fit either.

-George, you've been trying to

open that chest all afternoon.

-Well Martha, I've got

to know what's in it.

-Did you get the chest open yet?

-No, he hasn't, Dennis.

-Jeepers, I brought Tommy

over to see the treasure.

-I'm afraid we're

just going to have

to go after it with a hammer

and chisel, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh no, Mitchell.

I couldn't spoil a

genuine teak wood chest.

No, I'll have to

call a locksmith.

It'll cost me $ , but

it'll be well worth it.

-Well, you'll just have to

call him tomorrow, dear.

We're already late

for the Timberlakes.

-Oh, all right, Martha.

I guess I can wait another day

to find out I'm a millionaire.

Thanks for your keys, Mitchell.

-Sorry they weren't

any help, Mr. Wilson.

Oh Dennis, come on home soon.

Dinner's almost ready.

-OK, Dad.

-Boy, this is some

chest, isn't it, Tommy?

-Yeah.

But what good is it if

you can't get it open?

-It's too bad my mom wasn't

here instead of my dad.

She can open anything

with a hair pin.

-Hey, I got a piece of wire.

Here it is.

-Boy, if we could open

the chest with this,

it sure would help Mr. Wilson.

-Save him $ .

-Come on, let's try it.

-How does your

mom do it, Dennis?

-Well, she sticks the

hair pin in the key hole

and jiggles it around like this.

-You did it, Dennis.

-Wow, look at all

this swell stuff.

-Boy, I bet this belonged

to an old sea captain.

-A spy glass.

This is what pirates used

to look for ships to rob.

-Hey, Dennis, where's

all the treasure

that's supposed to be in here?

-I don't know.

The pirates probably buried

it on some desert island.

Hey, we better put

all this stuff back.

I've got to get home for dinner.

Poor old Mr. Wilson,

he was expecting

to find pearls and rubies

and Spanish balloons.

Well, see you tomorrow, Tommy.

-Bye, Dennis.

-Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

No.

For heaven's sakes, Johnny, I

thought you were a locksmith.

-Take it easy, Mr. Wilson.

After all, this is a

very complicated lock.

And besides, it's rusted.

Probably from the salt water.

-Oh, fiddle faddle.

My mother could have opened

that with a hair pin.

-Yes?

I think I got it.

Yeah, there it is.

-I'll do that.

-What's in there?

-Oh, never mind what's in there.

Here's your money.

Goodbye.

-OK.

OK!

OK.

Happy treasure hunting.

-I wonder if I'll have to

report this loot to the Internal

Revenue department.

-Hi, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, Dennis!

Oh, for heaven's sakes,

now look what you've done.

It's locked again.

I'll have to get Johnny back.

Johnny!

-Wait, Mr. Wilson.

I can open it.

Here it is.

-Johnny, come back here.

Wait.

Oh, blast.

He got away.

-Oh now, Dennis, will you--

well, how did this get open?

-I opened it, Mr.

Wilson, with this.

-You opened it with

that piece of wire?

-Sure.

You see, I didn't

have a hair pin.

-A hair pin?

And I just gave Johnny--

oh, great Scott.

Oh, well.

Let's see what's in here.

What's this?

Oh, good grief.

Why, there's nothing

in here but junk.

-I wouldn't call it

junk, Mr. Wilson.

You could have a lot with

this stuff playing Pirates.

-Well, I could have a lot of

fun with the $ it cost me too.

-Can maybe Tommy

and I play with it?

-Oh, no.

I-- I don't care

what you do with it.

Ooh!

-Do you think we got enough

pirate stuff in here, Tommy?

If we're gonna charge kids,

we gotta make it interesting.

-I forgot the starfish.

That's interesting.

-Hey, I know what

we ought to put in.

A map, show them where

buried treasure is.

-What buried treasure?

-Any buried treasure.

Everybody knows pirates

buried their treasure way out

on some desert island.

-That's a keen idea, Dennis.

But where are we gonna

get this treasure map?

-We'll make one.

Here, we'll draw it on

this old piece of paper.

-What'll we draw it with?

-Here.

We'll do it with a piece of

good old Mr. Wilson's barbecue

charcoal.

-Good thinking, Dennis.

-Pirate Dennis.

-OK, Pirate Dennis.

And remember, I'm Captain Kid.

-OK.

Now I'll draw a desert island.

-Have you ever seen

a desert island?

-No.

But the other kids

haven't either.

-Good thinking.

-Now, here's where the boat

lands with the treasure.

-And that's where we bury it?

-No, we've got to

make it hard to find.

-Good thinking.

-We've got steps

till we come to a tree.

-What kind of a tree?

-Oh, a cherry tree.

Then we climb the tree and

look through the spy glass

until we see a rock.

And that'll be Dead Man's Rock.

-Boy, that's neat.

-Then we climb the rock and

look through the spy glass

until we see a cave.

-How far is the cave?

-Oh, about two miles.

And that's where the

treasure is buried.

I'll mark it with an X.

-Shouldn't the

island have a name?

-Good thinking, Captain Kid.

Do you know any islands?

-Hm.

How about Coney Island?

-Nah, that's too full of people.

-Hey, during the w*r, my pop

was on a Marshall Island.

That's way out in

the Pacific Ocean.

-Good thinking.

How do you spell

Marshall Island?

-I think it's M-A-R-S-H--

-That's enough.

R-S-H-- there.

-Let me see it.

Ow.

-Gee, what happened, Tommy?

-I cut myself on

that sharp edge.

-Oh, it sure is bleeding.

-It doesn't hurt much.

-Boy, that sure is

a keen map, Dennis.

Looks real as anything.

-Watch it, Tommy.

You're getting blood on it.

Now we'll fold it up and put

it in the captain's coat.

Now we're ready for business.

Pirate's mysterious sea chest.

One look, one cent.

Giant economy sized

look, two cents.

-Boy Mom, the pirate

business sure was good.

Tommy and I collected

$ . today.

-Oh, that's wonderful, dear.

-We should have collected $ . ,

but that stingy Billy Watson

took a giant economy sized

look and only gave us a penny.

-That's too bad.

-No.

If we'd have collected $ . ,

how would we divide it?

-Mr. Wilson, it's me, Buzz.

-Oh yes, Buzz.

Right in here.

-Mrs. Wilson said you

had something to go.

-Indeed I do.

This old seaman's chest.

-Looks like a bunch of junk.

-Oh, there's some

odds and ends here

that maybe somebody

will have use for.

This is a good, heavy jacket.

-Did you check the pockets?

-Oh, there wouldn't be

anything in these pockets.

Maybe some, oh, hardtack or

barnacles or-- wait a minute.

What's this?

Heh.

Just an old map showing

some buried treasure.

-Did you say buried treasure?

-Great Scott!

-Where is the buried treasure?

-Uh, who said anything

about buried treasure?

You must be imagining

things, Buzz.

Now look, I think

you'd better go.

-Well, what about the old chest?

-No.

Don't touch a thing.

I changed my mind.

Now, I think you

better be going now.

-But Mrs. Wilson said--

-Never mind what

Mrs. Wilson said.

Great Scott!

Why, it's even been

signed in blood.

Martha!

-There it is, right

there, close to the mouth

of the Mississippi River.

-I see it, dear.

-Why, that's the territory

where the famous pirate Jean

Lafitte operated.

Just think, Martha.

This could be Lafitte's blood.

He could have fought a duel

over this map, k*lled for it.

-George, must you

be so gruesome?

-It's true, my dear.

When men are on the

trail of buried treasure,

they stop at nothing.

They turn to beasts.

-Oh stop it, George.

You look like Boris Karloff.

-Oh, I do?

Well, I'm sorry, Martha.

I didn't mean to frighten you.

-George, don't you

think you ought

to take this map

somewhere and have

it checked up to see

if it's authentic?

-You mean show this

map to someone else?

I should-- not on your life.

Heh.

Martha, we are going

to Marsh Island.

It'll be a nice trip.

I know.

We'll make it a sort

of second honeymoon.

Martha, wouldn't

it be fun to dig

for buried treasure on

our second honeymoon?

-On our first

honeymoon, you said

I was the only treasure

you'd ever want.

-Well, that was before

I found this map.

Uh-- oh, I mean--

oh, I'm so excited,

I don't know what I mean.

-Better get you

your nerve medicine.

-Oh, never mind.

This map is all the

nerve medicine I need.

Well, it wouldn't be

an expensive trip.

It's not like going to

the ends of the earth.

For a few hundred dollars,

we can drive down there and--

-Would we go alone?

-Well, of course.

You don't think I'm going to let

anyone else in on this, do you?

No, no.

We're not sharing this

treasure with anybody.

-But I've heard that

part of Louisiana

is full of swamps and poisonous

snakes and alligators.

-Oh.

Well, maybe we should share

this with some of our friends.

-Henry, $ is a lot of money.

-Oh, now Alice, why, that's

chicken feed in comparison

with what we might find.

-Well, Mr. Wilson, even if

there was such a treasure,

how can you be sure

it's still there?

-Alice, you sound

just like Martha.

Well, if somebody had

discovered the treasure,

would the map still be around?

-That makes sense.

-Oh, believe me.

I'm not letting just

anybody in on this deal.

Only my closest friends.

Now, I figure with,

say, five of us,

it would only cost

us $ a piece.

-That much?

-Oh, come Maurice, come.

What's $ nowadays?

-OK, Mr. Wilson.

I think I can raise $ .

-Oh.

Now you're talking.

-Let's see now.

New picture tube, $ ,

transformer, $ , and labor

charge $ .

There's my .

-A $ repair bill.

Are you out of your mind?

-Come on now, Mr. Wilson.

Like you said,

what's $ nowadays?

-Oh, for Pete's sake.

-All right, folks.

Step a little closer for a

look at the famous old pirate's

chest.

Who can tell what fabulous

treasures this chest contains?

Perhaps pearls of the

orient and Spanish balloons.

-Balloons?

-Yeah, balloons.

-Do you, by any

chance, mean doubloons?

-For one cent, you can

find out, Margaret.

That's all it takes, folks.

Just one cent to see what's

inside this fabulous sea chest.

-Well--

-It's right in here,

Mr. Timberlake.

Oh Dennis, what

are you doing here?

-Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Hi, Mr. Timberlake.

We're having a showing

of your pirate's chest.

-Well Dennis, I'm sorry

to interrupt your play,

but Mr. Timberlake and I have

some confidential business

to discuss.

So run along, all of you.

-Mr. Wilson, you're

costing us money.

The kids are gonna pay us a

penny to see what's inside.

-Maybe two cents.

-Oh.

Well, here.

Here's a quarter.

Business is over for the day.

Now shoo, scram, everybody.

-Oh boy.

Thanks, Mr. Wilson.

Come on, guys.

We'll let you look at the

pirate's chest tomorrow.

-Well, there it is.

Oh, little do they know the

treasure I found in here, right

in the pocket of this uniform.

-My, oh my, oh my-- you're

quite sure the map's authentic?

-Oh, it has to be.

Why, the paper is

centuries old, and it's

signed in blood, and everything.

-I can hardly wait to see it.

-Of course, I'm

not showing the map

to anyone who doesn't join our

expedition to Marsh Island.

-Oh George, I've always

wanted to study the bird

life in the Louisiana swamps.

-Mr. Timberlake, you're just

the man I'm looking for.

-Well, I understand there's

some very rare specimens

in that region.

For instance, that night

warbler, the nocturnal,

swallow tail snap diver.

-This expedition was just

made to order for you.

Why, you can dig

for treasure by day

and look for the

snap diver at night.

-Oh.

I'm getting goose

pimples all over.

Count me in, George.

Count me in.

-Good!

Yoo-hoo, Martha?

I got them.

-Oh, what are you going

to do with all that?

-Oh, well Martha, this

is just a fraction

of the stuff we're

going to need.

An expedition like this

requires careful preparation.

I just thought maybe you'd

like to see the entire effect.

-George, I have a

feeling something's

going to happen on this trip.

-Well, of course something's

going to happen, my dear.

We're going to find

the buried treasure.

Are you sure you

won't come with us?

-No, dear.

I'd be out of place.

Besides, I haven't

a thing to wear.

-Oh, fiddle faddle.

-Yoo-hoo.

Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

-Hello, Henry.

-Oh good, Mitchell, you

brought it, the Geiger counter.

-And it works swell.

-Martha, this will help

solve any difficulty

we may have in locating

the hidden treasure.

-It seems to get louder

up here by the cupboard.

-Well, of course it does.

That's where Martha keeps her

change-- in the sugar bowl.

You see, my dear, if

there's any treasure around,

this thing'll find it.

-Henry, have you decided

to go in on this after all?

-No, I'm not going

on the expedition.

I'm just risking a few dollars

of Mr. Wilson's say so.

But don't tell Alice.

-Oh, women have no real

spirit of adventure.

-We're just more practical.

-Well, the way I look at it

is, if we each put in a little,

none of us can get hurt.

Incidentally, Mr. Wilson,

when would you like my check?

-Well, the other investors

are bringing theirs

here tomorrow afternoon.

Why don't you come too?

Then I'll show the

treasure map, and we

can make our final preparations.

-Oh, George.

-Oh, now Martha,

don't start worrying.

-I can't help it, dear.

What will happen if you wake

up in the middle of the night

and find an alligator

in your tent?

-Well, if an alligator

wants to join our party,

he'll just have to hand over

a check like everybody else.

Right, Mitchell?

Well, now that the members

of our little syndicate

are all here, the first order of

business is feeding the kitty.

And I, as the head

of the expedition,

will be the first to make

my contribution of $ .

-Here's mine.

-Eh-- oh, Mr. Watterson?

Gentlemen, it should

be reassuring to know

that the president of our

local bank is one of us.

-George, I hope I'm

not making a mistake.

-A mistake?

-Well, after all, it's

quite a big gamble.

-Oh, Mr. Watterson, I feel

so sure of the success

of this venture, if

anything goes wrong,

I'll pay you back double.

In fact, I'll pay

you all back double.

-Well, well, % of my

money, win, lose, or draw.

That's a better deal than

I can get at my own bank.

Count me in.

But I want you to know that

I'm doing this as an individual

and not as a

representative of the bank.

-And I'm doing this

as an individual

and not as a

representative of my wife.

-Uh, how about him?

-Oh, I'm already accounted for.

Right, Mr. Wilson?

-Yes.

He's already accounted for.

Now, gentlemen, the moment

you've all been waiting for.

Will you gather

around me, please?

The unveiling of

the treasure map.

Oh.

First, I want to show you a

picture of the little ship

we've chartered for our venture.

Isn't she a beauty?

-Oh.

-Yes.

-And now, the moment of

truth, the treasure map.

Now, we plan to land on the west

end of the island, about here.

Then we walk steps

to a cherry tree.

-A cherry tree in the

middle of a swamp?

-Yes, that's ridiculous.

Isn't it?

-On the contrary,

it's very clever.

I believe whoever buried

the treasure deliberately

planted a cherry

tree as a marker.

-Just like that

rascal Jean Lafitte--

a shrewd, shrewd old buccaneer.

-Precisely.

And now from the

cherry tree right here,

it should be a simple matter

to locate Dead Man's Rock.

And then from there, it's

obviously only two miles to--

-Hey, Mr. Wilson.

Excuse me for interrupting,

Mr. Wilson, but--

-Dennis, what do you want?

-Son, can't you see

we're having a meeting?

-Yeah.

But Dad, the kids

are waiting outside

to see the pirate chest.

-Oh, Dennis.

-Hey, I've been looking

all over for that.

That's my map.

-Oh Dennis, will

you please leave?

-What do you mean

that's your map?

-Well, Tommy and

I drew it to make

the chest more interesting.

You know, to fool

the kids a little.

-You-- you mean--

oh, good grief.

-I might have known there was

something fishy about this.

Wilson, you can send my $

profit to me at the bank.

-Of all things, George, you

are so incredibly gullible.

You can send my $ profit

to the Lookout Mountain Bird

Sanctuary.

-I already made my profit

on you, Mr. Wilson.

But I'm taking back

my picture tube.

-No.

No.

No!

Well, this is a terrible shock.

-Well, while you're

getting over your shock,

can I take the old captain's

coat and show it to the kids?

-Oh, take it, Dennis.

Take everything.

I never want to see it again.

-Thanks, Mr. Wilson.

Wow.

Look at all the money.

-Oh look, Mr. Wilson.

You found a treasure after all.

-Why, for heaven's sakes,

where did this come from?

-It fell out of this old coat.

Why, there's lots more

money in here too.

-Why, look at this.

Old-fashioned currency.

Why, there's enough here

to pay off everybody I owe

and-- and more besides.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Martha.

-Is everything

straightened out, George?

-Oh, my dear, it was

manna from heaven.

I paid off everybody

and had enough left over

to cover the cost for

that silly old sea chest.

-Oh, that's wonderful.

[doorbell]

-Oh, now who could that be?

Why, Sergeant Mooney.

-Good morning, George.

-Well, what are you doing

here, looking for a handout?

-Oh, I got my hand

out all right,

but only to catch you

for passing stolen money.

-Stolen money?

-What are you talking

about, Mooney?

-Well, it just so happens that

the money you've been passing

is part of an old cache that's

been missing for years.

Watterson checked

the serial numbers.

-Oh, good heavens.

-Oh, George.

-George, I'm surprised at you.

You might have got

away with it, giving it

to Timberlake and

the TV repairman.

But you should never try to pass

on stolen money to a banker.

Come on, let's go.

-But I didn't know it was-- go?

Go where?

-The FBI would like to have

a long talk with you, George.

-The FBI?

Martha?

-Hey Sergeant Mooney, where

are you taking Mr. Wilson?

-Who knows, Dennis?

Might be a small

island called Alcatraz.

-Alcatraz?

-An island?

Hey Mr. Wilson, if

you're going to look

for more buried

treasure, why don't you

go back down to the auction?

I just went past

there, and they've

got three more sea chests.

-Oh, that's all I need!

Oh, good grief.

Martha!

[theme music]