02x08 - Cruisin'
Posted: 12/11/23 17:32
[Flies buzzing]
[Quirky music]
♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
♪
- That was a hoot!
[Ship horn blares]
[Upbeat jazzy piano music]
♪
- You're the worst driver I ever seen.
Can't this tub go any faster?
- Thanks for driving grandpa to his cruise ship, rock.
Sorry he's a little cranky.
- Cranky, eh?
Why, you fat little cow boy.
"Senior citizen singles cruise."
What fun.
Old folks in a boat.
[Tires screeching]
Hey, let go of me.
I ain't no sack of spuds, you lousy kids.
Guh!
- Okay, grandpa, let's get you to your room.
- I ain't your grandpa.
- It should be right up here.
- Hold it right here, boy.
I got to go.
- But, grandpa, we don't have time.
I've got to get off the boat.
- Yeah?
Well, this is more important.
- Hey, rocko, where's grandpa?
Hey, that's a good idea.
I kind of got to go too.
- [Groans]
[Ship horn blares]
[Yells]
- Cast off!
- No cast off!
No cast off!
[Grunting]
[Yells]
- Hey, what are all these old coots doing here?
Don't leave me alone with them, boys.
Stay close to me.
- What a lovely mess.
We're not even supposed to be on this cruise.
No money, no tickets, and we're stuck here
Taking care of grandpa.
Now what are we gonna do, heff?
- Just what we're doing now.
Act natural and blend in with the crowd.
Who's gonna know?
- [Farts]
[Door slams]
- "Just blend in with the crowd, rocko.
"Act naturally, rocko.
Who's gonna know?"
Who's gonna-- who's gonna know?
[Grunts]
Why did I ever--[grunts]
[Door squeals]
[Foreboding brass music]
♪
[Loud stomping]
- Well, my little stowaways,
It appears you're in luck.
Two lowlife deckhands were just tossed overboard
By a mob of angry geriatrics,
And you will take their places.
Ding!
- Aye, aye, captain.
[Dubious brass music]
- You missed a spot.
Give it a spit shine, beaver.
[Spits]
[Squeaky tones]
- [Chuckles]
Whoo, what a shine.
- How are we supposed to get these chores done
And babysit methuselah ii?
- Easy.
I'll take care of the jobs--
- Not so fast, pal.
We'll flip for it.
- Okay, deal.
- Loser gets grandpa.
- Um...
- Heads! - Tails, tails, tails.
[Coin clattering]
Whoo, hoo-hoo, hoo, hoo!
Tails! - [Groans]
- Well, looks like I've got some chores to do.
[Whistling]
♪
Oh.
Hi.
[Deflated brass music]
♪
[Upbeat keyboard music]
[Teeth chattering]
- Let's get some sun, eh, grandpa?
It's a beautiful day.
- Oh, this is nice. Yee-haw.
I feel so good, I think I'll howl at the sun.
Put me back in the shade, you twerp.
[Whimpering]
- Grandpa wolfe!
[Wheels squeaking]
[Ship creaking]
- [Snores]
- Beaver? Beaver!
Beaver!
- [Snores]
- [Farts]
[Wheels squeaking]
[Ship creaking]
[Horn honking]
- [Snores]
- [Farts]
- [Yells]
- [Snores]
Crash!
- Having fun, boy?
[Squeaking tones]
- [Whistles]
- [Singing operatically]
[Screams]
Hey.
- I realize being old is no picnic, grandpa.
But there's no reason
Our generations can't get along, is there?
- You don't have a clue, do you, you little runt?
I thought this was a singles cruise.
Where are all the babes?
Hey, there's some.
Yoo-hoo, ladies!
Oh, girls!
Come to papa.
Here they come.
- [Yells]
[Whimpering]
- [Sighs] beaver got the babes.
Oh, youth is wasted on the young.
[Upbeat rock music]
♪
- Wah!
♪
[Descending xylophone tones]
[Clamoring and clattering]
[All gasp]
- Hey, punk, you scratched my walker.
[People shouting]
- [Yelling]
[Upbeat jazzy music]
♪
[People wheezing]
- [Groans]
Blimey, this music's boring.
- I could really cut a rug in my younger days.
- Ah, you couldn't dance if someone was sh**ting at you.
- I won grand prize
At the hotfoot club new year's dance of '.
- You won diddly.
I was there, andiwas king bop.
- Yeah? You're both senile.
It was me that tripped the light fantastic.
[Feet stomping]
- Who wants to dance?
[Deflating tones]
[All speaking simultaneously in high-pitched voices]
- Rocko!
[People shouting]
- [Gasps]
Well, bless my aching bones.
- What is it, grandpa?
- I'd swear that gal out there was--
[Gasps] it is.
It's winnifred wolfe.
- Who's winifred wolfe?
- What, are you ignorant, boy?
[Sighs]
She was the most popular she-wolf at ozark tech.
Oh, she was crazy about me.
♪
Smack!
[Cymbals crash]
[Throbbing]
Ah, she's probably forgotten about that by now.
I--i--where'd she go?
[Indistinct chatter]
- This is your captain speaking.
Dinner is now being served in the flamingo room.
♪
- Today's entrees include prime rib,
Pheasant au gratin, and trout le pufe under glass.
Bon appetit.
[Liquid squelching]
[Loud squelching]
- Bon appetit.
[Loud munching]
- [Chuckles]
- Food fight.
[Laughter]
- For dessert, we--
[Dishes shattering, people laughing]
- Hey, toots.
How's tricks?
You remember me, don't you, doll?
- Hiram?
Hiram willy wolfe, is that you?
- Yup, that's me.
The one and only. Your dream wolf, babe.
[Howls]
- Yes, I remember you.
You haven't really changed much
These past years, have you?
- No way, fay.
I'm still the hottest thing since sunburn, baby.
[Hisses] ha!
Let's go stepping, huh, kid?
- I don't think so, hiram.
Perhaps if you had changed a little,
But you still resemble the wolf I knew so long ago.
Good-bye, hiram.
- So, grandpa, how'd it go with your old girlfriend?
- Shut up, beaver.
Smack!
- Mean old bugger.
Hope I never get old and crotchety.
- You got a lot to learn there, young fella.
- Yeah, like what?
How to be rude and nasty without even trying?
- Well, you are gonna be old one day, junior,
If you're lucky.
And then you too are gonna feel
The heartbreak of a prune diet or lost memories
Or the pain and loneliness of losing a loved one.
Maybe then you'll understand why
Old-timers aren't always the bright ray of sunshine
You find yourself to be, huh, boy?
- [Crying]
[Ducks quacking]
[Ship horn blares]
Hey, ducks, go away!
Big ship! Ducks!
Hey, ducks!
Oh, blazes! Captain, captain!
Captain, you've got to turn the boat.
We're gonna ram some ducks.
- Exactly.
- Turn the wheel! - I like ramming ducks.
- No!
- But it's mine.
[Loud screeching]
- [Guffawing]
The bermuda triangle!
[Frantic whistling tones]
[Ducks quacking]
- [Sniffling]
[Ducks quacking]
Hey, ducks, go away!
Big ship! Ducks!
Hey, ducks!
Oh, blazes!
Captain, captain! Turn the wheel!
We're gonna ram some ducks.
[Lasers whooshing]
[Upbeat brass music]
[Eerie whistling music]
♪
[Thunder crashes]
- [Roars]
- [Screams]
[Thunder crashes]
- Cheap special effects.
Big deal.
I want my money back.
[Thunder crashes]
- Mmm.
[Spacecraft whirring]
Cool.
Chicken.
[Gear rattling]
[Screams]
[Both scream]
[All screaming]
- They were hideous!
Hideous creatures.
[Spacecraft whirring]
Whew. - Ooh.
Uh-oh.
[Clock ticking]
[Clock hands whirring]
- Hey, rocko, you're all wrinkly.
- Look who's talking, raisin boy.
- What is this?
What are you supposed to be, huh?
Why, I could--hey.
Hey, i--
I'm feeling frisky.
[Clock clattering]
[Bell rings]
[Knees clattering]
- Yow!
- Come on, bones.
Baby needs a new pair of shoes.
And I could use a new caddy.
[Bell rings]
- Get away from me.
I don't want to be young again.
No!
Okay, but I was crazy as a kid.
[Screams]
[Loud crunching]
Ah!
- I must find a way to get out of this bermuda triangle.
And then I will barbecue
That little kangaroo boy and his ducks.
- [Growls]
- [Suckling]
- Tag, you're it!
[Tires squealing]
[Laughter]
[Kids shouting]
- [Screams]
- Lookit, heff, we're , years old
And surrounded by wild kids.
- Eh?
- I never realized what older folks have to go through.
I think I got arthritis in all my parts.
- Well, here you go, brother.
I know them aches and pains well enough.
I'm years old.
Leastways, I was.
Weird all us old-timers turning young again, huh?
Must be the water around here
And maybe all them dang clocks flying around.
Anyway, my bones feel better than they have in years,
So I don't need these here pills no more.
You take them, son.
Let me know if there's anything else y'all need.
Any little thing at all, you just name it, huh?
- Shut up, will you?
- You got to excuse my friend here.
He's never been old before.
- No problem, compadre.
Being old can be a hoot.
You just don't want it to hit you all at once.
Better ease on into it. [Chuckles]
- You okay now, rocko?
- Yeah.
I don't know why I'm so grumpy.
I guess I'm just tired.
I need to sit down.
Whoa!
[Screaming]
- [Wailing]
- Shame, shame, shame.
How dare you?
You should behave yourself.
Don't you know what happens to little boys who don't behave?
- Winnifred, now that I am young again,
Come to the casbah with me, hmm?
- Young or old, mr. Wolfe, you think only of yourself.
- Now what?
[Wind gusting]
- [Screaming]
[Screaming continues]
Help!
Help!
Help!
- I'll save you, old buddy.
- Help!
- Yup.
Here we go.
- Help!
Help!
- Here, grab this rope.
- Help!
[Gurgling]
- Beaver?
[Gasps] beaver!
- Back off. He's ours.
- [Gasps]
- Oh, the horror.
I just can't watch.
- [Growls]
[Bell dings]
- [Crying]
My grandpa's gone,
Taken by the angry sea.
He's howling with the angels now.
He's--he's my ex-grandpa.
- Heffer.
- [Wails]
He's--he's--
- He's over there.
- Hey, rocko. You okay, boy?
- Yeah, I'm fine, grandpa.
How about you?
Are you feeling okay?
- Never better, son.
Never better.
- Smile!
[Thunder crashes, camera shutter clicks]
[Raucous rock music]
♪
[High-pitched whirring]
- Aw, spit. I'm bald again.
- [Wailing]
[Horse whinnies]
[Tires squealing]
[Screaming]
- Best dang cruise I ever took.
- Man, it was cool being old.
Without my teeth, I could swallow food whole.
- Thanks again for saving me life, grandpa.
From now on, you and I will be best of friends.
- Me and a beaver, friends?
- Stranger things have happened.
- [Blowing raspberry]
[Quirky music]
♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
- ♪Rocko's modern life♪
♪
- That was a hoot!
[Ship horn blares]
[Upbeat jazzy piano music]
♪
- You're the worst driver I ever seen.
Can't this tub go any faster?
- Thanks for driving grandpa to his cruise ship, rock.
Sorry he's a little cranky.
- Cranky, eh?
Why, you fat little cow boy.
"Senior citizen singles cruise."
What fun.
Old folks in a boat.
[Tires screeching]
Hey, let go of me.
I ain't no sack of spuds, you lousy kids.
Guh!
- Okay, grandpa, let's get you to your room.
- I ain't your grandpa.
- It should be right up here.
- Hold it right here, boy.
I got to go.
- But, grandpa, we don't have time.
I've got to get off the boat.
- Yeah?
Well, this is more important.
- Hey, rocko, where's grandpa?
Hey, that's a good idea.
I kind of got to go too.
- [Groans]
[Ship horn blares]
[Yells]
- Cast off!
- No cast off!
No cast off!
[Grunting]
[Yells]
- Hey, what are all these old coots doing here?
Don't leave me alone with them, boys.
Stay close to me.
- What a lovely mess.
We're not even supposed to be on this cruise.
No money, no tickets, and we're stuck here
Taking care of grandpa.
Now what are we gonna do, heff?
- Just what we're doing now.
Act natural and blend in with the crowd.
Who's gonna know?
- [Farts]
[Door slams]
- "Just blend in with the crowd, rocko.
"Act naturally, rocko.
Who's gonna know?"
Who's gonna-- who's gonna know?
[Grunts]
Why did I ever--[grunts]
[Door squeals]
[Foreboding brass music]
♪
[Loud stomping]
- Well, my little stowaways,
It appears you're in luck.
Two lowlife deckhands were just tossed overboard
By a mob of angry geriatrics,
And you will take their places.
Ding!
- Aye, aye, captain.
[Dubious brass music]
- You missed a spot.
Give it a spit shine, beaver.
[Spits]
[Squeaky tones]
- [Chuckles]
Whoo, what a shine.
- How are we supposed to get these chores done
And babysit methuselah ii?
- Easy.
I'll take care of the jobs--
- Not so fast, pal.
We'll flip for it.
- Okay, deal.
- Loser gets grandpa.
- Um...
- Heads! - Tails, tails, tails.
[Coin clattering]
Whoo, hoo-hoo, hoo, hoo!
Tails! - [Groans]
- Well, looks like I've got some chores to do.
[Whistling]
♪
Oh.
Hi.
[Deflated brass music]
♪
[Upbeat keyboard music]
[Teeth chattering]
- Let's get some sun, eh, grandpa?
It's a beautiful day.
- Oh, this is nice. Yee-haw.
I feel so good, I think I'll howl at the sun.
Put me back in the shade, you twerp.
[Whimpering]
- Grandpa wolfe!
[Wheels squeaking]
[Ship creaking]
- [Snores]
- Beaver? Beaver!
Beaver!
- [Snores]
- [Farts]
[Wheels squeaking]
[Ship creaking]
[Horn honking]
- [Snores]
- [Farts]
- [Yells]
- [Snores]
Crash!
- Having fun, boy?
[Squeaking tones]
- [Whistles]
- [Singing operatically]
[Screams]
Hey.
- I realize being old is no picnic, grandpa.
But there's no reason
Our generations can't get along, is there?
- You don't have a clue, do you, you little runt?
I thought this was a singles cruise.
Where are all the babes?
Hey, there's some.
Yoo-hoo, ladies!
Oh, girls!
Come to papa.
Here they come.
- [Yells]
[Whimpering]
- [Sighs] beaver got the babes.
Oh, youth is wasted on the young.
[Upbeat rock music]
♪
- Wah!
♪
[Descending xylophone tones]
[Clamoring and clattering]
[All gasp]
- Hey, punk, you scratched my walker.
[People shouting]
- [Yelling]
[Upbeat jazzy music]
♪
[People wheezing]
- [Groans]
Blimey, this music's boring.
- I could really cut a rug in my younger days.
- Ah, you couldn't dance if someone was sh**ting at you.
- I won grand prize
At the hotfoot club new year's dance of '.
- You won diddly.
I was there, andiwas king bop.
- Yeah? You're both senile.
It was me that tripped the light fantastic.
[Feet stomping]
- Who wants to dance?
[Deflating tones]
[All speaking simultaneously in high-pitched voices]
- Rocko!
[People shouting]
- [Gasps]
Well, bless my aching bones.
- What is it, grandpa?
- I'd swear that gal out there was--
[Gasps] it is.
It's winnifred wolfe.
- Who's winifred wolfe?
- What, are you ignorant, boy?
[Sighs]
She was the most popular she-wolf at ozark tech.
Oh, she was crazy about me.
♪
Smack!
[Cymbals crash]
[Throbbing]
Ah, she's probably forgotten about that by now.
I--i--where'd she go?
[Indistinct chatter]
- This is your captain speaking.
Dinner is now being served in the flamingo room.
♪
- Today's entrees include prime rib,
Pheasant au gratin, and trout le pufe under glass.
Bon appetit.
[Liquid squelching]
[Loud squelching]
- Bon appetit.
[Loud munching]
- [Chuckles]
- Food fight.
[Laughter]
- For dessert, we--
[Dishes shattering, people laughing]
- Hey, toots.
How's tricks?
You remember me, don't you, doll?
- Hiram?
Hiram willy wolfe, is that you?
- Yup, that's me.
The one and only. Your dream wolf, babe.
[Howls]
- Yes, I remember you.
You haven't really changed much
These past years, have you?
- No way, fay.
I'm still the hottest thing since sunburn, baby.
[Hisses] ha!
Let's go stepping, huh, kid?
- I don't think so, hiram.
Perhaps if you had changed a little,
But you still resemble the wolf I knew so long ago.
Good-bye, hiram.
- So, grandpa, how'd it go with your old girlfriend?
- Shut up, beaver.
Smack!
- Mean old bugger.
Hope I never get old and crotchety.
- You got a lot to learn there, young fella.
- Yeah, like what?
How to be rude and nasty without even trying?
- Well, you are gonna be old one day, junior,
If you're lucky.
And then you too are gonna feel
The heartbreak of a prune diet or lost memories
Or the pain and loneliness of losing a loved one.
Maybe then you'll understand why
Old-timers aren't always the bright ray of sunshine
You find yourself to be, huh, boy?
- [Crying]
[Ducks quacking]
[Ship horn blares]
Hey, ducks, go away!
Big ship! Ducks!
Hey, ducks!
Oh, blazes! Captain, captain!
Captain, you've got to turn the boat.
We're gonna ram some ducks.
- Exactly.
- Turn the wheel! - I like ramming ducks.
- No!
- But it's mine.
[Loud screeching]
- [Guffawing]
The bermuda triangle!
[Frantic whistling tones]
[Ducks quacking]
- [Sniffling]
[Ducks quacking]
Hey, ducks, go away!
Big ship! Ducks!
Hey, ducks!
Oh, blazes!
Captain, captain! Turn the wheel!
We're gonna ram some ducks.
[Lasers whooshing]
[Upbeat brass music]
[Eerie whistling music]
♪
[Thunder crashes]
- [Roars]
- [Screams]
[Thunder crashes]
- Cheap special effects.
Big deal.
I want my money back.
[Thunder crashes]
- Mmm.
[Spacecraft whirring]
Cool.
Chicken.
[Gear rattling]
[Screams]
[Both scream]
[All screaming]
- They were hideous!
Hideous creatures.
[Spacecraft whirring]
Whew. - Ooh.
Uh-oh.
[Clock ticking]
[Clock hands whirring]
- Hey, rocko, you're all wrinkly.
- Look who's talking, raisin boy.
- What is this?
What are you supposed to be, huh?
Why, I could--hey.
Hey, i--
I'm feeling frisky.
[Clock clattering]
[Bell rings]
[Knees clattering]
- Yow!
- Come on, bones.
Baby needs a new pair of shoes.
And I could use a new caddy.
[Bell rings]
- Get away from me.
I don't want to be young again.
No!
Okay, but I was crazy as a kid.
[Screams]
[Loud crunching]
Ah!
- I must find a way to get out of this bermuda triangle.
And then I will barbecue
That little kangaroo boy and his ducks.
- [Growls]
- [Suckling]
- Tag, you're it!
[Tires squealing]
[Laughter]
[Kids shouting]
- [Screams]
- Lookit, heff, we're , years old
And surrounded by wild kids.
- Eh?
- I never realized what older folks have to go through.
I think I got arthritis in all my parts.
- Well, here you go, brother.
I know them aches and pains well enough.
I'm years old.
Leastways, I was.
Weird all us old-timers turning young again, huh?
Must be the water around here
And maybe all them dang clocks flying around.
Anyway, my bones feel better than they have in years,
So I don't need these here pills no more.
You take them, son.
Let me know if there's anything else y'all need.
Any little thing at all, you just name it, huh?
- Shut up, will you?
- You got to excuse my friend here.
He's never been old before.
- No problem, compadre.
Being old can be a hoot.
You just don't want it to hit you all at once.
Better ease on into it. [Chuckles]
- You okay now, rocko?
- Yeah.
I don't know why I'm so grumpy.
I guess I'm just tired.
I need to sit down.
Whoa!
[Screaming]
- [Wailing]
- Shame, shame, shame.
How dare you?
You should behave yourself.
Don't you know what happens to little boys who don't behave?
- Winnifred, now that I am young again,
Come to the casbah with me, hmm?
- Young or old, mr. Wolfe, you think only of yourself.
- Now what?
[Wind gusting]
- [Screaming]
[Screaming continues]
Help!
Help!
Help!
- I'll save you, old buddy.
- Help!
- Yup.
Here we go.
- Help!
Help!
- Here, grab this rope.
- Help!
[Gurgling]
- Beaver?
[Gasps] beaver!
- Back off. He's ours.
- [Gasps]
- Oh, the horror.
I just can't watch.
- [Growls]
[Bell dings]
- [Crying]
My grandpa's gone,
Taken by the angry sea.
He's howling with the angels now.
He's--he's my ex-grandpa.
- Heffer.
- [Wails]
He's--he's--
- He's over there.
- Hey, rocko. You okay, boy?
- Yeah, I'm fine, grandpa.
How about you?
Are you feeling okay?
- Never better, son.
Never better.
- Smile!
[Thunder crashes, camera shutter clicks]
[Raucous rock music]
♪
[High-pitched whirring]
- Aw, spit. I'm bald again.
- [Wailing]
[Horse whinnies]
[Tires squealing]
[Screaming]
- Best dang cruise I ever took.
- Man, it was cool being old.
Without my teeth, I could swallow food whole.
- Thanks again for saving me life, grandpa.
From now on, you and I will be best of friends.
- Me and a beaver, friends?
- Stranger things have happened.
- [Blowing raspberry]