05x09 - Whack-a-mole

[bunniefuu]

CARY: We need money.

Put simply, we need more clients.

JOHN: Thank you.

CARY: Do you want to hear this or not?

We were all hurt by our slow rollout.

We didn't have an office.

What were we supposed to do?

I'm not saying that there's not a reason.

I'm sick of being faced with the painfully obvious.

...and we need clients...

Okay! Okay.

We're in the situation we're in.

So what do we do about it?

(Conversing indistinctly)

DIANE: Okay! Okay.

We're swamped.

We have lost half of our top litigators.

HOWARD: Yeah, and good riddance.

And... and our caseload has increased.

We have received continuances on eight of our 12 open cases, but we need to start hiring soon.

DAVID: We also need to get our clients back.

Losing Chumhum is still an embarrassment.

Yeah, but first things first.

We need four associates with trial experience.

We also need to deal with Florrick-Agos.

No, we can't keep obsessing about...

No, no, no.

We need to move on.

Wait, listen. We do both.

No "first things first."

We expedite hiring and work on client loss.

David, I want you to form a client retention working group.

Bring our clients back home.

And, Diane...

Howard, why don't you take over the status meeting?

Kalinda.

We need new clients.

We can't keep looking to Lockhart/Gardner.

ROBYN: How about a Christmas party?

How about what?

Well, we had a slow rollout because we didn't have office space, and now we have office space, so let's have a real rollout.

ASSISTANT: Mrs. Florrick, you have a phone call.

I'll be right back.

It's someone who said he was an old client of yours, a Zayeed Shaheed.

Zayeed, yes, thanks.

Zayeed?

Yes, it's Alicia.

How are you doing?

ZAYEED: Uh, fine, thank you.

Look, Alicia, I hate to be blunt, but I could use your help with a problem right now.

Okay, uh, what is it?

A university colleague is trying to get a job as a CIA analyst, and the FBI is here asking some questions about him for a background check.

Okay, where's here?

My home. Why?

Uh, no reason.

Keep going.

Well, their questions are getting more personal, and I'm worried about getting this person in trouble.

A-Are you still on campus?

I am... 2143 Burnham.

Okay, I'm coming to you.

Ask the federal agents politely to wait until I get there for more questioning, okay?

Okay.

Robyn, I need you as a witness.

New client?

Old.

With money?

Some.

WOMAN: Lauralee Gregg.

Tulane undergrad, Yale School of Law, ten years at McKinley, Barrett and Skiff.

No.

May I ask why?

Ten years at McKinley and Barrett, and she was second chair on her last case.

I wouldn't read anything into that.

I do.

David Benjamin Goldbaum.

Georgetown undergrad, Stanford...

Next.

(Sighs)

Will, if you don't snap him up, Fisher & Chung will.

That makes sense.

Uh, David's a great litigator.

We lost to him in court.

No, we settled with him.

Yeah, for $2 million.

Which should have been four.

So you're rejecting him because he wasn't hard enough on you?

Yes.

Who was that?

It's no one, not appropriate.

Beth, we're not who we were.

What was inappropriate two months ago is appropriate now.

Damian Boyle.

He's been in private practice for 15 years... Criminal law.

His clients are, well, not your clients.

DIANE: Pro bono?

No, very not pro bono.

Antonio Pola last year, Sal Calastana.

Where's his photo?

He doesn't like being photographed.

He's looking for a home.

Some of his top clients are in prison now and he needs to make ends meet.

The problem is, nobody wants him.

DIANE: Will, just because someone is wrong for us doesn't make him right.

Let's see him.

What can it hurt?

Alicia, thanks for doing this.

No problem...

Are they still here?

Yes, they decided to stay.

They're a little impatient.

Play it sweet.

After we're introduced, ask them if you can record the interview for your records.

Thanks for waiting.

Call it a lawyerly overabundance of caution.

So, this is about Mr. Shaheed's colleague?

Yes, Ezzedine Kalb.

We just had a few questions.

Now, Mr. Kalb was in Milwaukee recently with you?

Do you mind if I tape this?

This interview?

Why?

Oh, for our records.

We do it all the time.

I'm, I'm bad at taking notes.

We'd rather this be off the record.

Oh, it will be.

I just need a, a correct record for my notes.

(Chuckles)

Robyn's a stickler for detail.

Certainly, if it's for your notes.

You were in Milwaukee with your colleague two weeks ago?

Yes.

And why were you there?

For a conference on educational differences in developing countries.

I see.

And did you spend the whole time with Mr. Kalb?

No, not the whole time.

And what about the afternoon of October 15?

The 15th this year?

Yes.

The day of the expl*si*n at the Milwaukee Food Festival?

Yes, I think that's right.

I'm gonna ask my client to stop answering questions at this time.

Why?

Because I don't think this interview is what you're implying.

What do you think we're implying?

Zayeed, you can ask them to leave now.

No, he can't.

This is a warrant for computers, files, iPads, smartphones, and papers in the possession of your client.

Zayeed, I need you to step out of the room for a second.

Robyn, can you take him?

Actually, Agent Anderson, will you accompany them to make sure no materials subject to the warrant are disturbed?

It's the color of my skin.

They think I planted a b*mb.

Shh.

Zayeed, were you anywhere near the b*mb site?

No, I barely left the hotel.

What hotel?

The Sheraton.

Well, where were you at the time of the expl*si*n?

In my room.

What are they going to find on your computer, Zayeed?

Nothing...

My book, my lectures.

No p*rn, no foreign financing?

Anything that needs to be explained.

No.

Tell us now.

We'll find out later.

Look, the subject matter of my book is jihad... not violent jihad... spiritual jihad, but the materials can be open to misinterpretation.

Okay, stay out of their way and don't answer any more questions.

Where are you going?

To quash the warrant.

MAN: Your Honor!

Why are you yelling?

I'm not yelling.

I'm passionate, Your Honor.

The abuse here is passion-inducing.

Passion-inducing?

Well, goodness, let's not have our passion induced.

So let me get this straight...

You want me to bar him from representing him.

That's your requested remedy?

Yes, Your Honor.

Damian Boyle is not just representing the Gerraghty crime family.

He's a member of the Gerraghty crime family.

Why, because I'm Irish?

That has nothing to do with it.

Or is it because I've beaten you three times in court?

You haven't beaten me.

I am a simple small-town lawyer...

KLUGER: I have an idea.

Why don't you stand up?

DAMIAN: My apologies.

Your Honor, I am a simple small-town lawyer who's come to the big city to defend an honest businessman, and I've beaten the AUSA three times, in three previous court hearings, and that's why he wants to bar me from representing an innocent man, but... correct me if I'm wrong... this is America, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let this man tread on my rights, your rights, or anyone's rights.

Thank you, that was a beautiful speech.

You're welcome.

I know we work in a cynical business, Your Honor, but I believe it.

Your Honor, we have federal wiretaps with Mr. Boyle conducting business for the Gerraghty crime syndicate.

Oh, really?

Well, let's hear it.

KLUGER: Mr. Boyle, please, let me do my job.

Let's hear it.

The taps are sealed, Your Honor, part of a wider investigation.

Yeah, keep, keep laughing, Mr. Boyle.

We're coming after you with wiretaps!

What have I done to this man, really, except b*at him fair and square?

ALICIA: Your Honor, this warrant should be quashed.

It's racial profiling, pure and simple.

The FBI doesn't racially profile.

He was a dark-skinned man visiting Milwaukee.

A dark-skinned man advocating jihad.

Not the jihad of violent overthrow.

Your Honor, we don't need to prove that Zayeed Shaheed planted a b*mb.

We only need to prove...

That there is more evidence than Mr. Shaheed's name and the color of his skin.

My client was nowhere near the crime scene before or after the bombing.

He was in room 546...

Your Honor, this picture was taken two minutes prior to the fateful expl*si*n, and as you can see, that is Zayeed Shaheed passing the garbage can where the b*mb was placed, but I would love to hear more about Mr. Shaheed being in room 546.

(Laughter)

Uh, if there are legal papers anywhere on your person, I suggest you keep walking.

(Laughs)

Will Gardner.

I'm a partner at L.G.

Lockhart/Gardner.

Oh, congratulations.

What do you want?

I saw you in court today.

Can I buy you a drink?

Another black, please.

(Mutters indistinctly)

(Laughter)

What was that?

(Clears throat)

Jewish joke.

Ah.

Has he heard the one about the Irish pilot?

He has, yeah.

So, you drinking or what?

Another black.

You're gonna lose the case against the government.

It happens.

The judges are just human.

They don't mind pissing off an individual lawyer.

They do think twice when it's a whole law firm.

What's the name of your firm again, pal?

Lockhart/Gardner.

Hmm, never heard of it.

What firms have you heard of?

(Chuckles)

You still looking for a home?

Why, you offering me a job?

I might be.

(Sniffs)

(Clears throat)

There are friends... I have that I defend no matter what.

Do they have money?

Then that's not a problem.

I don't work Sundays.

Why not?

(Clears throat)

What do you care?

Okay.

You work twice as hard during the week, I'm fine with that.

Okay.

Let me think about it.

ZAYEED: That's not me, I swear.

You were in your hotel room taking a nap?

Yes, I was in my hotel room.

At 3:00 in the afternoon?

I was tired.

And no one saw you there.

I didn't have anything to do with this.

I'm a teacher, that's all.

Alicia.

Is it a surveillance camera?

No, see up here...

This blur?

Yeah.

I thought that was a thumb from someone using their iPhone.

A tourist photo?

How'd it get to the FBI?

Scabbit... the web site.

There's a thread on the Milwaukee bombing, and everybody's talking about who might have done it, like the Boston Marathon.

There.

The FBI is getting their photos from Scabbit?

Yeah, it looks like it.

And one other thing...

If the feds are using Scabbit, then Zayeed is in real trouble.

Why?

Well, the people on here think he did it, and they say they can prove it.

5.09 - Whack-A-Mole

And Peter's been so sweet to me.

He sent a car for me.

A town car.

Oh.

Oh, being the governor's mom has certain advantages, but it's not just, uh...

Mm. Would you excuse me for just one minute?

Jackie.

What a surprise.

Mr. Gold.

Rachel!

Oh, you two know each other.

Yes, I clerked for her husband a zillion years ago.

Nice to see you, Jackie.

Rachel was the judge's favorite clerk.

Well, hats off for not playing that card with Peter.

With Peter?

Yes.

Rachel's the new Supreme Court candidate to replace Diane Lockhart.

Oh, well, then congratulations are certainly in order.

The judge would be proud.

Well, thank you, Jackie.

That means the world.

I'll let you two get back to your meeting.

Mr. Gold, could I speak to you for just one minute?

Sure.

JACKIE: Tell her no.

She's not getting the Supreme Court seat.

Really? Why is that?

Let her down gently.

Jackie.

No.

You get to decorate the offices and throw the inaugural ball, but this, this is my prerogative.

This is Peter's prerogative.

Whatever grudge you have, you need to suck it up.

Good seeing you.

ALICIA: That's not him.

CAREY: Then go to the FBI with a proffer.

Explain the jihad stuff.

Show the Feds that's not him.

ROBYN: There's another photo.

Someone just uploaded it.

What?! Of Zayeed?

You're kidding.

"Zayeed Shaheed fleeing the bombing.

"Police should do something.

Signed Sharkbit678."

That doesn't even make sense.

He's skating.

It doesn't look like him, either.

Ah, "That's not Zayeed.

That's his accomplice.

"See the walkie-talkie in his back pocket?

Laoshunt93."

Oh, my God, this stuff is crazy.

What's crazy is the FBI using it.

Sue for an injunction.

What?

Against Scabbit.

Force them to take down the thread.

What'll that do?

If the FBI is using crowd-sourcing for its investigation, cut off the supply.

Good. I'll go to court.

I'll make the proffer.

(Loud, indistinct chatter)

We didn't vote on this.

Yes, but we discussed hiring a new partner.

At a meeting you left.

Yes, but I got a sense of the room, and the sense was that we wanted to hire somebody.

Wait, what is this "sense of the room" crap?

When did that start replacing votes?

Who is this guy anyway?

Damian Boyle.

He's a top litigator.

If we didn't act, he would've been snapped up.

DAVID: He's a mob lawyer.

No, he's not.

Will. Will, that is not true.

What's not true?

What you just said.

He wouldn't have been snapped up.

Our headhunter told us the exact opposite.

Oh, so the truth comes out.

Look... Decisions sometimes need to be made on the fly.

In my opinion, this was one of them.

If you disagree...sanction me.

Okay.

(Loud, indistinct chatter)

Excuse me.

Is it always like this?

No.

The last few weeks.

What's this? This song.

(Whistling tune)

I have no idea.

Oh, don't you hate that, when a song gets... stuck in your head?

More than anything.

You have very pretty eyes.

No, I don't.

No, you do, you do.

And I know from pretty eyes.

Damian, you're on the client-retention working group.

Yeah. Hold on.

Will.

You can't be doing this.

Doing what?

Making this firm grow?

Making decisions before they get argued to death?

This was a decision that could've used some arguing.

You know how this works, Diane.

David Lee argues for a relative.

You say no.

It's referred to a subcommittee.

They take three weeks, and come back with a stalemate.

You don't know that.

I do know that.

At a certain point, someone just needs to decide.

We don't have the luxury of being a deadlocked government.

Well, then welcome to your decision.

Because that's what happens when one person decides.

You can always call me there.

I'm just saying.

Oh. Okay.

(Sighs)

What did he say?

He's sick of debate.

Yeah, well, I don't give a damn...

This isn't communist Russia.

Well, what do you want me to do?

(Sighs)

Sanction Will, and get this new lawyer kicked out.

David, a month ago you wanted me kicked out.

Yeah, so?

That was a month ago.

I have two-thirds of the partners ready to dump him.

Will?

No. Him.

Mr. Mob.

They want to know if you're on board.

Hello again.

Hello again to you, Your Honor.

I hear you started your own law firm.

Uh, y-yes, Your Honor.

Three weeks in.

Congratulations.

What brings you to brighten my courtroom today?

An injunction, Your Honor, against Scabbit, a social news and entertainment site where users post or link to content.

I see we seem to be alone here today.

Yes, Your Honor.

Scabbit has ignored our subpoenas.

We believe this is brinkmanship through absence.

I'm not gonna grant an injunction against a whole web site without letting them air their arguments.

We're not asking for an injunction against the whole web site, Your Honor, just one thread on that site: a thread that disparages our client.

Okay. Uh, give me all the relevant evidence, and I will rule.

And, of course, it's good seeing you again.

Can you do me a favor?

Next time, can you bring me back something just a little more serious, I don't know, like a... a grocery store robbery?

Definitely, Your Honor.

DIANE: Three ayes.

All opposed?

Four opposed.

Are you an abstention, Mr. Boyle?

What?

Are you abstaining?

To what?

Whether we should negotiate with Florrick-Agos to share the ongoing Chumhum privacy suit?

This is the firm that stole your clients?

Yes.

And that's one of the... clients they stole?

Yes, it's a top client.

$35 million a year in billables.

$35 million?

DAVID: Why don't you try listening next time?

And you want to negotiate with them?

They stole $35 million a year from you, and you want to negotiate?

DAVID: Just vote, okay?

Sure.

Which way do I vote to get buggered?

All right, I'll mark you down as an abstention.

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

Yeah.

Is this the client-retention working group?

Yeah. You got a minute?

Yeah.

Come on.

You.

What do you do here?

Doesn't matter.

You're coming with me, all right?

You, too. Ditch the jackets.

What are you doing?

Working.

Nah. You get lunch off.

Come on.

Come on.

I'm taking a legal field trip.

Florrick-Agos & Associates.

No, Mr. Agos is at lunch right now.

May I take a message?

Wait, that might be him. Wait.

How's it going?

One second. No, that's not him.

Right, everything.

Lamps, too.

Excuse me, hello?

Hello. Yes, we're here with the rental company.

They wanted us to swap out the furniture.

I-I didn't know anything about that.

Yeah, well, we just got the call ourselves.

Howard, call the office, and tell them we're on our way.

What?

(Chuckles): Howard. Call the office and tell them we're on our way.

We'll be really quick.

Right? Just let us know if we get in the way.

(Phone ringing)

Sure.

Cheers, love.

Oh, careful with those, now, guys.

All of it into the freight elevator.

Oh...

ROBYN: It's gone.

The thread?

Yeah. "Due to legal injunction, this thread has been removed by the owners."

Well, the law works... even on the Internet.

Uh-oh.

What?

There's another thread?

There's another thread.

It just popped up.

"Bombing suspect still at large."

Does it mention Zayeed?

This is Whac-A-Mole.

We get an injunction on one thread, and another one pops up.

We need to get Scabbit in court.

Well, the judge leans our way.

Maybe they'll sanction him.

Oh, yeah, the, uh, movers came, and they said they should have the furniture here in about an hour.

Peter, I need you to get on the phone with one of the...

You cannot let Peter appoint Rachel Keyser.

Give me a minute, Nora.

He has already appointed her.

Then tell him he made a mistake.

(Sighs)

I thought you said she was the judge's favorite.

She was.

Oh.

Oh.

I will not have a woman who slept with my husband, and al... almost ruined my family, be rewarded with a seat in my son's cabinet.

Does Peter know?

(Sighs)

I'm sorry, Jackie.

I understand why you're upset.

No. You don't.

That's true, I don't, but my hands are tied here.

Peter has already reversed the appointment of one female candidate.

He can't do it again.

You don't want me to go to my son about this.

No, you're right, I don't.

But I don't think you want to, either.

(Sighs)

That's dirty, Eli.

No. No, it's not.

There is no political reason to dump this candidate, and I will not pretend there is to make things... emotionally easier.

(Sighs)

How understanding of you.

Jackie, I'm sorry, but...

(Door opens, closes)

MAN: All rise.

Well, that injunction didn't work.

It appears so, Your Honor, and as you can see, a new thread has popped up that also disparages our client.

Yes, that has a way of happening.

And as you can see, Scabbit has again refused to appear in court.

Uh, no. Uh, we just got a message.

They are on their way with their new counsel.

So, let's give them a couple of moments.

So, uh, how is it going on your own?

On my own?

Mm.

Oh. My own law firm.

Mm.

Bracing, Your Honor.

I remember my first year hanging the shingle.

Oh, God, there's nothing scarier in the world.

Yes, Your Honor.

(Door opens)

Oh, here's your opposition.

Hello, Your Honor.

Will Gardner and Damian Boyle here representing the interests of Scabbit.com.

KLUGER: Will Gardner?

Why is that...?

Oh, yes.

You two used to be on the same side, didn't you?

Yes, Your Honor.

Oh, well, that's awkward.

Not at all, Your Honor.

Scabbit has not adhered to the cease-and-desist order, Your Honor.

We have adhered, Your Honor.

As Mrs. Florrick is well aware, we've taken down the thread covered in the original complaint.

The thread has been renamed, not taken down.

May I approach?

Oh, please.

As you can see here, the deleted "Milwaukee Bomber" thread has been renamed, "Who Bombed the Milwaukee Festival?"

WILL: That is not a renaming.

That is a spontaneous expression of Scabbit's members.

We took down the thread.

They introduced their own.

DAMIAN: We can control our actions, Your Honor, but we can not and should not control the actions of our members.

We are not asking them to control anyone but themselves.

We ask that they be forced to take down this new thread...

You know, I agree with Mrs. Florrick.

You guys... You're playing with semantics.

You're not going to the spirit of the law.

We ask that they take down this thread, Your Honor.

Sure.

This is the CEO of Scabbit.com.

Uh, Mr. Essex, would you do the honor?

Yes.

It's gone.

The thread's gone.

This is a game, uh...

Your Honor, may I approach the bench?

Oh, come on down.

It's a party.

This is a game of Whac-A-Mole, Your Honor.

There will be three more threads by this afternoon.

I have a question.

Has anyone ever actually played Whac-A-Mole?

Or is it some metaphor we use mindlessly?

Oh, yes, I have, Your Honor.

Navy Pier.

It's really good.

Uh-huh.

Helps get out your aggressions.

What's your name again?

Damian Boyle.

In what part of Ireland?

Oh, no, no.

The accent's fake.

I'm from Queens.

(Laughs)

CARY: The point is, Your Honor, we move that Scabbit honor the spirit of your ruling by deleting threads as they appear.

How? I mean, how-how-how do we do that?

Scabbit employs moderators who...

KLUGER: Yes, Mrs. Florrick?

Uh, we-we just, that, uh...

Your Honor, we ask that Chumhum... excuse me... that Scabbit issue an edict to have those moderators prohibit postings vilifying Zayeed Shaheed.

WILL: That is a prior restraint, Your Honor.

I'm surprised Mrs. Florrick and Mr. Agos would even suggest it.

Maybe that would work for Chumhum...

DAMIAN: We are ready and able to delete any threads ordered by the court, but it is unconstitutional to restrain speech beforehand.

Your Honor, this is a game.

Yes. Whac-A-Mole.

We've been over this.

We can't come in here every time a new post appears.

There's a new one.

See? New thread's up already.

What's the title of it?

"Milwaukee Bomber Part Two."

Would the court like it deleted?

Yes.

Done.

Your Honor...this is ridiculous.

Yes.

Unfortunately, it might be, but it's the law.

My cease-and-desist orders can not cover future infractions, only current, so, return with objections to threads as they appear, and... I will rule.

(Bangs gavel)

(Crowd chatter)

Where did you get that?

What?

Oh, oh, this old thing.

Oh, I don't know.

Why?

Do you like it?

I liked it when it was on my desk.

Oh, you have one, too?

You're the world's number one mom?

Well, I have me moments.

CARY: You took the furniture from our offices.

So, this is what it's come down to?

High school pranks?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Oh, my God.

(Loud, overlapping chatter)

I am calling for a vote to rescind the partnership extended to Damian Boyle by Will.

Any debate?

I kind of like the guy.

Yeah, I say we give him a chance.

David, you're the one who called for this vote.

Yeah. I changed my mind.

HOWARD: Me, too.

And he brought us this Internet thing. What's it called?

Scabbit.

Yeah.

And he's a very funny guy.

Howard, this is a law firm, not Second City.

If the motion is to remove him, I'd vote no.

Hey. You were looking for me?

What do you think of Damian?

Mm, not much.

Based on what?

First impressions.

Can you get me more than that?

I can try. We didn't get a chance to vet him.

Vet him now.

I sent Sondra to get another card table.

Who was that guy?

CARY: Damian Boyle?

Lockhart/Gardner's new rainmaker.

Brass knuckles type.

Why would Lockhart/Gardner represent Scabbit?

There can't be much money there.

It's a double-bank sh*t.

They want Chumhum to see us arguing against Internet freedom.

So they can pull Chumhum back.

Yup.

Any leads on our furniture?

ROBYN: Uh, no.

The surveillance cameras downstairs were broken.

Oh.

(Laughing)

We're having new furniture brought in this afternoon.

CARY (Sighs): You want to get the cops involved?

Zayeed? What's wrong?

I just got fired.

What?!

I went back to my office, and security barred my door.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

It's these threads.

They're saying incredible things.

They say I was at a madrasa in Afghanistan.

They say I was at a t*rror1st training camp.

What?

We've been going at this wrong.

In a piecemeal way.

You have damages now.

Defamation, Your Honor.

Well, that's imaginative.

You two do know that I have other cases?

We're asking for $400,000 in compensatory damages and $8 million in punitive damages.

Wow. $8 million.

Why not $60?

Our client lost his job and a lucrative book deal due to the reckless behavior exhibited by Scabbit.

DAMIAN: There's no defamation.

Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act specifically exempts hosts from the responsibility of postings for their users.

Right, you can't sue the city for building sidewalks where protestors voice their freedom of speech.

Yes. Unless the offender is an employee of the Scabbit web site.

You're fishing.

She's fishing, Your Honor.

I wish I were, but we have a witness.

Goody.

Grant Irvin.

Scabbit screen name: "Lotion my feet."

"Lotion my feet"? Really?

Yes. It's a joke.

Ah.

ALICIA: And how long have you been active on Scabbit, Mr. Irvin?

From the beginning.

The very beginning.

Hi, Darryl.

In fact, you're a Ground Floor Poster, Mr. Irvin. What does that mean?

It means I'm... pretty cool, pretty gansta.

Oh, we are happy for you.

(Laughs)

And, um, this is your comment from two days ago?

"Zayeed is a t*rror1st "trained in Pakistan and sent to America undercover.

Lotion my feet."?

Yes. That's me.

And how did you know this about Zayeed?

How did I know it?

I didn't. It's my opinion.

Okay.

Did you know he was born in Detroit?

IRVIN: No.

And isn't it true that in addition to your Ground Floor status, you are a moderator on this site?

Yes.

And as a moderator, you monitor the topic threads, and shut down accounts of abusive users?

Yes.

And does Scabbit reward you for these efforts?

Yeah. I have more Pimp Points than any other user.

Pimp Points?

What are those?

Like Internet money.

It gets you more prestige.

I have about as much influence as the founders.

Nothing further.

So, you said, Pimp Points are like Internet money?

Explain that to me.

Users with the most visited threads are rewarded with online icons that appear next to their names.

Ah, I see.

And can you use these Pimp Points to buy things like food or clothing?

No.

Your Honor, quite simply, employees are compensated.

Mr. Feet was never compensated for his efforts.

Employees are also supervised, Your Honor.

And we contend that the awarding of points indicates supervision.

Points can not be awarded if the moderators are not tracked and supervised.

Yes. That's a nice pivot.

Supervision is enough to establish employment as regards Section 230.

Just a, few more questions, Your Honor?

Go ahead.

Mr. Irvin, do you...?

You can call me "Mr. Feet."

Uh, no, thanks.

Were you contacted by Scabbit before receiving your points and titles?

By Scabbit? No.

Any supervisor at Scabbit?

No.

In fact, do you know how Pimp Points are awarded?

Yeah. They're based on algorithm.

WILL: Meaning, the computer decided the compensation, not a human?

IRVIN: Yes.

It's like Words With Friends rankings.

You reach a goal, and bam, here you go.

No more questions.

KLUGER: Mrs. Florrick, any thoughts?

Not at this time.

You should have turned it down.

Jackie, hello.

I'm sorry. What was that?

I said, you should have turned it down.

Now, it will be much more embarrassing when you bow out.

(Sighs)

Jackie, why don't you call my office?

We'll sit down and talk.

No, thank you.

If this is about that... confusion...

(Laughs)

Is that what it was... Confusion?

What, where to wear your panties?

(Sighs)

That was a long time ago.

I was 25.

Yes. And you should have slept with a husband of someone with a shorter memory.

It was nice seeing you, Jackie.

But I'm not bowing out of anything.

Then I'll tell your husband.

Tell my husband what?

That you had sex with my husband for two years after you were married.

He's in the hospital with cancer.

That's too bad. It'll make it that much harder for him.

(Sighs)

You are an awful women.

Yes. I am.

Bow out, or I'll tell your husband.

He already knows.

(Laughs)

I don't believe you.

Too bad.

Ronald and I don't keep secrets from each other.

He's known for years.

So do your worst, Jackie.

You were never important to the judge.

Excuse me, I have to get to my lunch.

Thanks for doing this.

It should only take a few minutes.

Sure.

And, uh, what is "this"?

Um, it's the usual employment questions.

We like to keep this stuff on file.

Oh...

You're the investigator.

Yes.

Are you good? (Chuckles)

I am.

I don't believe in women investigators.

You're just not... thorough enough.

Good.

That will give me more time to work with the other partners.

Mmm.

(Chuckles)

Birthdate?

July 13, 1971.

May 5, 1971.

November 3, 1972.

And do you have a primary one?

Nah.

How long have you been in the States?

15 years. How 'bout yourself?

How long have you been in private practice?

Eight years.

Any family?

Yeah.

Who are they?

Five sisters in Dublin.

Four married, one in school.

My mother's in a home.

Father's dead.

He left her when I was eight.

I have authority issues.

And I really like the color purple.

(Chuckles)

So, uh, you ever been arrested?

(Chuckles)

No comment.

Hmm. Actually, that's, uh...

That's not a possibility.

Actually, it has to be.

No, you don't understand.

I need an answer.

Or...?

Or I will have to investigate.

And that way you won't get a chance to put your arrests in perspective.

(Sniffs)

(Gulps)

Yeah, fair enough.

Um, last first or...

If you want.

Yeah?

Before we, um...

A few things, I feel like I have a better perspective on the law because I've seen both sides of it.

Save the speech for Will and Diane.

I just need the facts.

Section 230 applies.

Your supervision counters a clever argument, but the reward system is based on an algorithm.

Therefore, Scabbit posters cannot be classified as employees.

So there's no defamation.

Your Honor, we cannot be assured that the posters are not, in fact, employees of Scabbit.

We only have access to their online user names.

We ask that Scabbit release the real names of the posters involved in defaming my client.

This is the only way we can determine if the posters in question are not actually Scabbit employees.

Objection, Your Honor.

This is a Mrs. Florrick ploy.

Really?

Really. Revealing the identities of users would destroy Scabbit.

Still, it seems like a-a fair request to me.

I mean, your argument is that the users who defamed her client are not employees.

Well, the only way she can tell that is if she's given the actual names of the users.

Can we ask for a gag order to protect the identities of the posters?

Absolutely. Come on.

Ask for anything you want.

Unlike Scabbit, we are not interested in defaming innocent people.

We just want the truth.

Oh.

Well, try to accept your victory without gloating, Mrs. Florrick.

Please release the names to Florrick-Agos by the end of the day.

DIANE: Damian?

Yeah.

He was pretty forthcoming.

Well, that's surprising.

Yeah.

He gave me three different birthdays.

Only three?

(Chuckles)

He did pass the Illinois bar.

And he was in a D.U.I. a few months ago in which he hit a streetlight.

It's not on his record?

No. Police decided not to prosecute, after he gave a donation to the Police Memorial Fund.

Was the donation for $18,000?

Yeah.

Howard Lyman ran into a streetlight and donated $18,000 to the Police Memorial Fund to avoid a D.U.I.

He's using Howard Lyman's indiscretion.

Yes.

Okay.

I'll find out more.

This one's a little off, isn't he?

Yeah.

Dangerous?

No.

Just off.

ROBYN: Lockhart/Gardner dumped 180 names on us, and I cross-referenced them with Scabbit employees and there were no hits.

Damn, so...

What, we lost?

Well, there was one poster, Dante Pryor, who doesn't exist.

ALICIA: Who? What does that mean?

It means...

I have no idea.

But he's all over the web.

His screen name is Chubbysocks52. And he's on Chumhum, Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, but I can't find him through the DMV or utility companies.

Okay. So what do we do?

ROBYN: I have no idea.

180 users defamed Zayeed.

179 I located, one I haven't.

His name is Dante Pryor, and he seems to be a ghost?

(Sighs)

(Zapping sounds)

(Hisses)

(Eerie sci-fi music playing)

(Roars)

(Door opens)

Jackie Florrick.

Ronald.

I heard you were ill, and it... reminded me of just how long it's been since we've seen each other.

Yes. When you're in the hospital, you find out who your friends are.

Yes, you do.

And I brought you flowers.

Hey, Rach. Look who's here.

You remember Jackie?

(Roar)

(Chuckles)

JACKIE: Hi, Rachel.

It's so good to see you.

And how are you feeling?

Well, the diagnosis is not good.

But the bright spot... is the way Rachel has stuck by my side.

Yes, she's very special.

I remember when she worked for the judge.

He'd come home at night and sing her praises...

Jackie, why don't we talk outside?

Of course, my dear.

It's been a while since we've caught up as well.

We'd like to call Dante Pryor to the stand.

Dante Pryor? Okay.

That's a name.

Where is he?

Well, that's what we would like to know.

We can't find him.

Why did you call him?

Dante Pryor is a Scabbit user who goes by the online name of Chubbysocks52.

One of the names that was released to us.

Why isn't he here?

He's not human.

He's a robot.

Objection.

ALICIA: Dante Pryor is a Socialbot, created by Scabbit and released on their site as Chubbysocks52.

I have an objection. Relevance.

It's only relevant if I can understand.

Go on.

This Socialbot was designed to appear human and drive traffic from its Chumhum account and Twitter feed to Scabbit.

And it defamed your client?

How could a robot defame your client?

It's designed to repackage comments and gossip by others and disperse it onto sites so it can drive interested users back to Scabbit.

You Honor, a Socialbot cannot defame...

"Zayeed Shaheed is "a guilty Muslim t*rror1st who bombed the Milwaukee Festival.

Chubbysocks52."

And-and that...

All that is from this Socialbot?

Yes. It's a computerized version of the worst part of human nature.

And it was built by Scabbit.

Therefore, Scabbit is responsible.

(Inhales)

Any thoughts?

Your Honor, we'd like a recess to confer with our client.

Go for it.

(Gavel bangs)

Huh. This is different.

DIANE: Well, on the bright side, we weren't sh*t by the cr*ck dealers on the corner.

(Chuckles)

Hello?

What?

The Spartan look, the neighborhood... reminds me of us starting out.

This wasn't anything like us.

Yes, it is.

Do you miss it?

I don't know.

(Siren wailing outside)

Hello?

KALINDA: Cutting out early?

Yeah. This is generally the time I wire my ill-gotten gains to my account in the Caymans.

What do you need?

Just a small clarification.

It appears you never had any student loans from law school.

(Sniffs)

How'd you pay for it?

Me parents.

They owned the one movie theater in town, sold it so I could cover my tuition.

You said your father left you when you were eight.

Me ma.

She owned the one movie theater in our town, sold it so I could cover my tuition...

What game are you playing, Mr. Boyle?

(Sighs) You got me all wrong, Kalinda.

I'm not the game-playing type.

I might be a fun-loving type.

But games?

No.

Too much energy.

Then why don't you just come clean? Hmm?

You know, sooner or later, I'll find out what I need to know.

(Elevator dings)

Great.

Come at me.

I'm here.

ELI: Rachel, I admit I'm disappointed, but I understand.

Thank you for calling.

(Beep)

Jackie.

Yes, Mr. Gold?

Rachel Keyser has dropped out as Supreme Court candidate.

Oh, that's certainly unfortunate.

But I'm not at all surprised.

Why is that?

Well, I heard her husband was ill.

I'm sure she wanted to devote time to his care.

That's the only reason?

What else could it be?

You.

Me?

(Chuckling): No.

I-I'm here to decorate Peter's office.

That's all.

Jackie.

You can't do this.

Do what?

Rachel has always done what's best for Rachel.

Well, it's always nice chatting with you, Mr. Gold, but, um, I have to find a place for this.

Artwork. Party planning.

You know, my domain.

$830,000.

That's our final offer.

We used to work for you.

There are always three offers before the final offer.

You shouldn't overestimate our generosity.

And you shouldn't underestimate how great it is to watch you scrambling.

'Cause you know you lost.

So why don't we skip the next half hour of gymnastics and get right to the $1.5 million you have been authorized to offer.

SONDRA: Mrs. Florrick, you have a call.

Take a message.

I think you're gonna want to talk to him.

(Beep)

This is Alicia Florrick.

KLUGER: Oh, there you are.

Hello to you, Mrs. Florrick.

This is George Kluger.

ALICIA: George...? G... (Sighs)

Otherwise known to you as Judge Kluger the Magnificent.

Ah, yes, of course, Your Honor.

Is everything all right?

Oh, oh, yes. Everything is just, uh, fine, thank you.

Uh, Mrs. Florrick, please don't take this the wrong way, but I was wondering if you would like to get some coffee?

Excuse me?