04x17 - Cheap Burgundy

Complete collection of episode transcripts for seasons 1 - 7. Aired: September 2008 to February 2015.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

A famous "psychic" outs himself as a fake and starts working as a consultant for the California Bureau of Investigation so he can find "Red John," the madman who k*lled his wife and daughter.
Post Reply

04x17 - Cheap Burgundy

Post by bunniefuu »

(amplified voice)

Matilda Cruz was 23.

She'd been missing for two weeks when her body was found at a county waste facility.

We believe that Matilda met her k*ller online in a chat room dedicated to lovers of Shakespeare.

We would ask anybody who uses that chat room or similar sites to please contact the CBI if they come across any suspicious activity online.

And now Gary Philo, CEO of Phiz Systems and Matilda's boss, would like to say a few words.

(camera shutters clicking)

(amplified voice)

Thank you. (clears throat)

I'll be brief.

Matilda Cruz was a beautiful young soul.

And a treasured member of our family here at Phiz.

And that is why I am offering $10 million...

(crowd murmuring)

(cell phone vibrating) for information leading to the arrest of her k*ller.

Matilda deserves justice, and she will get it.

Questions?

Wainright needs us.

Super urgent. He won't say why.

Interesting, but I can't go yet.

It's a press conference. Let's go.

I need one minute.

Naturally, we are all deeply upset and saddened at this tragedy.

We will get through this, and we will come back stronger than ever, for Matilda's sake.

Mr. Philo—uh, Gary, what was your personal impression of Matilda Cruz?

(clears throat)

Well, as with all our employees, she and I had a nice chat when she first joined us, but beyond that, I never had the privilege of getting to know her personally.

Come on. Let's go.

I have 30 more seconds.

Sir, you're a—a famously thrifty man, aren't you?

Uh, the no-brand sneakers, Then don't be. We're investigating a m*rder here.

Are you thrifty or not?

(murmuring)

What in the devil does my thrift have to do with... that?

Ah. You notice that tiny little b*at you took before you said "that"?

(amplified voice) That, my friend, was a solid-gold tell.

What?

Never mind. You're thrifty.

You're a legendary cheapskate, in fact.

And yet, you put up $10 million of your own precious money to find Matilda's k*ller.

Why would you do that?

Why?

Because you know for sure you'll never pay one single penny of that money, because it's you. You're Matilda's k*ller.

Ooh! Aah!

(crowd murmuring)

Uh, that's as*ault. Lisbon, arrest him!

Watch it.

Stay there.

♪ The Mentalist 4x17 ♪
Cheap Burgundy
Original Air Date on March 8, 2012

Ah. Thank you for getting in here so promptly.

The FBI needs our help. Agent. Darcy.

We just caught a homicide where the family of the victim has statehouse juice.

The Lieutenant Governor has specifically requested you for the task force.

Mm?

He wants the best on this one, he says.

Whoa. Well, I'm flattered.

Uh, but we already have a case. A big case.

Yes. So I've heard.

We don't need the team. Just Jane.

That is, of course, if you're willing.

Well, I'm... happy to help, I just—as long as it's okay with you.

'Cause last we spoke, we weren't exactly seeing things eye to eye.

The Red John case, you mean.

Yes, it is a mystery, isn't it?

It's not surprising we have different takes, but that doesn't mean we can't work together, does it?

Excellent. It's all settled then.

I know what you're gonna say.

You're gonna warn me that Agent Darcy's playing games with me, she's trying to investigate me on the sly, bless her heart.

Well, yes, exactly.

Well, I play games better than she does, so I'm looking forward to it.

So you get to go off and have fun while we deal with the Philo mess you've left us?

I'm pretty sure he's guilty.

Oh, thanks a lot.

I'd love to stick around and help you solve this crime, but I can't really say "no" to the FBI.

You know, Darcy would leave you alone if you just told her the truth.

Which truth are you talking about?

That you didn't k*ll Red John, that you lied about it, that you did a lot of stupid things to cover up the lies, and that now he's back, and you're very sorry— that truth.

Eh...

Can't you see your stubborn arrogance is gonna bite you in the—Agent Darcy.

We gotta get rolling.

They're keeping the crime scene intact until we get there.

Okay. I'm ready.

Thanks for lending him to me.

My pleasure. Glad to see the back of him.

Oh, okay.

Well, bye.

Bye. Just go and have fun.

I'm gonna have a great time. There's my back. See you.

(sighs)

Hey, boss.

Philo's lawyer's arrived, wants to talk.

What are you gonna do?

Probably gonna have to let him go.

(sighs)

Ah.

Here she is.

This is the fool that arrested me.

I am sorry, sir. I unders—

I want this little bitch toasted like a marshmallow.

You'll excuse my client's anger.

He has every reason to feel aggrieved.

His arrest was an outrageous abuse of power—

I will be brief, counselor. You committed an as*ault.

We can hold you for 48 hours without charging you, and we will hold you for those 48 hours, unless, of course, you would like to confess to the m*rder of Matilda Cruz, in which case, things would move a lot more quickly.

Agent Lisbon, this is no way to treat a man of Mr. Philo's stand—

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

She can legally hold me that long?

Yes, but that doesn't mean—

Don't waste your breath.

(sighs) You may go.

What?

I'm not gonna pay you $1, 000 to hold my hand while this idiotic girl acts out her hatred of powerful father figures. Just go!

As you wish, Mr. Philo.

Yeah.

(indistinct conversations, telephone ringing)

That creep is a psychopath, and he's guilty, and we are gonna make him say so.

He cracked once already when he hit Jane.

Let's make him cr*ck again.

Okay.

(Darcy) Victim was found early this morning by State Park Rangers.

Victim's name is Kati Bauer. 27, married, 1 child.

Multiple s*ab wounds. Uh, evidence of sexual as*ault.

Lieutenant Franklin, is this exactly how you found the body?

(sighs) Yes, ma'am. I...

I noticed her car parked off the road.

It looked like it had been there overnight, so...

So I and a couple of my men took a look around and... found the poor woman here.

She looks peaceful.

No signs of struggle.

No defense wounds.

Do you know her?

Was she a local girl?

Uh, Santa Carla, in the valley, but, uh, no.

No, I didn't know her.

This... you see, this is my first homicide.

Just, it's—it's sad.

Mm.

Wine.

Woman: Wine?

Wine?

Why is that—Kati would drink wine on occasion.

Why is that relevant?

Well, it's probably not.

Um, I'm sorry.

I wasn't listening earlier.

You're her in-laws, you're not her parents, and this is— this isn't your house?

We live in Pasadena. This is Sandy and Kati's house.

Sandy is our son, her husband.

He's on his way home now from our New York offices.

When did you last see Kati?

Yesterday morning at 9:00 a.m.

(sniffles) We came to take Megan to our house for the day and give Kati a little "me" time.

It's a regular thing we do.

Mm.

What does Kati like to do during her "me" time?

You know, I think she just likes to give the help the day off and enjoys the solitude and the peace and quiet.

(Darcy) And when did you return here?

Well, it's all a blur, but it must have been just before 5:00, because I... do my insulin sh*t regularly at that time, and I had to hurry in order to... do it. (sighs)

Mm.

And she was gone.

(beeps)

We waited for two hours and then we called the police.

(sighs)

Did Kati like to go up to the mountains a lot?

(sighs)

No.

I mean, perhaps with Sandy, but... on her own, on a whim, no.

Kati was very much a creature of habit.

(cell phone rings)

Oh. It's the house phone. That's odd.

(beep) Sorry. That's—that's me. I just, uh... I like to fiddle.

Don't mind me. Carry on.

(sighs)

So, Mrs. Bauer, you were say—

Patrick: "New York offices, " huh?

What business are you and your son in? (ring)

We are a design consultancy for the financial—

Hi. Uh, what kind of place do you have there?

Uh-huh.

Ahh. Oh, interesting. Okay.

No, no, no, no. Thank you. Bye.

(beep)

Kitchen.

Only two outgoing calls on the landline yesterday, one to you, Shirley— may I call you "Shirley"?

At around 8:15 in the morning, and one call to Mama Sylvia's Pizzeria, 12:07, which is strange 'cause there's no pizza box here.

Well, maybe it was a misdial.

'Course.

Probably is that.

A misdial.

(door closes)

Man: Hello?

Oh.

Mom? Dad?

Sandy.

Nice to meet you. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Oh, darling. Oh. (sniffles)

These people are here to investigate the, um... the m*rder.

Graciella's with Megan. She's fine.

Oh. (sighs)

I can't believe this is happening to me.

Mr. Bauer, I'm Agent Darcy, FBI.

I'm gonna have to ask you a couple questions, if you don't mind. Did you just get in from New York?

Yes.

Do you recall your flight number?

We have a jet. Well, a fractional share.

Sweet.

What time did you land?

35 minutes ago.

Mr. Bauer, we have to explore all possibilities.

Sandy, how long have you and Kati been married?

Uh... three years, near enough.

Okay. Tell me about her.

I don't know.

What can you say about a person?

Show them the clip on the phone, the song.

(woman) ♪ And if that horse and bull... ♪
♪ falls over


(Shirley) That's Kati. She was an angel.

♪ mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover ♪
♪ and if that dog named Rover won't bark ♪
♪ mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart ♪
♪ and if that horse


Okay, thanks. Yeah, he's a possibility, but can he overcome his natural passivity to commit m*rder?

I don't know. We have some other important leads to follow.

Sir, your manner is deeply inappropriate.

I assure you, Mr. Bauer, this won't be how we'll be conduc—

Yes, yes.

Uh, Franklin, will you smooth things over here?

Uh, Darcy and I need to go.

If I may just say so, I'm so very deeply sorry for your loss, and I, uh...

Sorry.

If there's anything I can do for you all, please don't hesitate to ask.

(indistinct conversations)

All right, people. What have we got?

ME says petechial hemorrhaging indicates death by asphyxia.

The hyoid's intact, so we're probably looking at a smothering rather than a strangulation.

That's all she wrote. Blood work's clean.

Decayed state of the body means there's no way to get any useful DNA. No crime scene, no forensics.

Matilda's unknown chat room buddy was definitely the last person to communicate with her.

I followed the internet trail he left.

It bounces around the globe, then dead-ends at a pirate server in Macao.

There's no way to trace our mystery Shakespeare fan any further.

Matilda's colleagues at Phiz didn't know very much about her.

Her close friends and family are all back east in Philadelphia.

She never spoke about her online life or dating.

Just family and work stuff.

So we've got zip.

If we can't make a connection to Philo, maybe we should look elsewhere?

No. No—Philo is all we have.

If we don't bust him, he busts us.

Let's dig deep into Gary Philo, see if we can get any leverage— medical records, bank accounts, legal filings...

With zero solid evidence, we're never gonna get warrants for all that.

See if you can call in any favors. Improvise.

Man: "Bauer"... "Mercer Drive"—yeah.

We deliver to them. What's this about?

Did you deliver to them yesterday?

(clicks)

Man: "Bauer, " "Bauer"...

(keyboard clicks)

Nope. No order.

Somebody there called you at 12:07.

They didn't order anything. What's this about?

The woman who made the call has been m*rder*d.

Oh.

Manny. What's wrong?

I'll tell you later, sis.

So...

Manny, tell me. What—what is it?

There's been a m*rder.

Oh, my God.

Relax, Lila.

This a family business?

Yes.

That's nice. Family's nice.

Does your little brother James work here also?

Yes, he does.

Is he here now?

No, he's not.

Lila?

When James came back from the army, he was a different man, wasn't he?

Troubled.

How do you... (pants)

Hey—

(clatter)

(Darcy) Are you okay?

She's fine. It's all good.

(Darcy) You okay?

Your brother's full name is James Barca?

When did you last see or hear from him?

Uh, yesterday.

He left here at about 12:30, but nothing since then.

This thing is not him. No way.

What do you think, Lila?

N-no.

There's no way it's him.

But?

It's—it's like you said.

He came back from the army two years ago, and... ever since then, he's been angry and... sad and—and violent sometimes.

Barroom brawls. No big deal.

But he has blackouts and stuff.

And he quit going to the doctors, and he self-medicates, and that only makes it worse—

Lila. He's our brother.

And I love him so much, but he—

(cell phone alert chimes)

Manny, what if he did this?

This is not him. Okay?

A car registered to a James Barca just got a parking ticket this morning, half a block from the Bauer house.

Oh, my God.

Do you have any idea where your brother might be?

(door closes)

No. I'm done talking.

If James Barca's car is at Kati's, then he went to the m*rder scene in Kati's car, which was left there.

The question is, how did he leave?

Either he had an accomplice with another vehicle, or he left on foot.

Or he's still here.

James!

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

So, Jane, I need to ask you a question.

Mm.

You still truly believe Red John is dead?

I don't truly believe anything.

That's not answering the question.

Is this an official inquiry?

Should I have a lawyer present?

Not unless you've done something wrong.

Have you?

(blows air)

Don't move. Drop the Kn*fe.

No.

I said drop the Kn*fe!

Stop moving, or I'll sh**t.

James, listen— you keep coming, she's not gonna sh**t her dead like you want her to.

She's just gonna cr*pple you.

Let go of the Kn*fe, James. You can k*ll yourself later.

Right now you gotta clean this mess up with some grace, some dignity.

Give your family a proper good-bye.

You go out like a soldier!

(thud)

Matilda Cruz loved Shakespeare.

What's your favorite Shakespeare play, Gary?

You will learn in time...

Wayne...

To call me "Mr. Philo."

As for Shakespeare, it's a bunch of English fruits in tights running around going, "blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah."

Give me a break.

Zero interest, okay?

The idea of me meeting anyone in a Shakespeare chat room is beyond ludicrous.

(crickets chirping)

Kati called up and ordered a pizza from you?

Yes, she did, ma'am.

And then you went to her house?

Yes, ma'am, I did.

And then what happened?

I don't know.

Yeah. Sure.

Look, James, you've got Kati's blood all over your body.

We found you holding the Kn*fe that k*lled her.

It's gonna be your DNA on the r*pe kit, isn't it?

I'm not denying what I did, but I don't remember doing it.

I must have blacked out.

When I woke up and she was dead, and I was covered in her blood, I was crazy scared.

I ran into the woods, I found a hole, and I crawled in it.

And I thought I'd been hiding in it for days and days, but this is only tomorrow, right?

Weird.

Every man and his dog asks you this question, I bet— how many people did you k*ll when you were a soldier?

Eight.

So Kati makes nine?

No. Yes.

No.

No, yes, no.

You went to her house without a pizza.

That means you must always have planned to k*ll her, right?

You're on a mission?

Yes, that's right. I was on a mission.

Hmm.

You're going down, mister.

You hear me?

You're going down.

I know that, sir. Thank you.

Rigsby: When did you establish Phiz Systems, Mr. Philo?

(cell phone rings)

(beep)
Hello, Jane.

Philo confess?

Nope. He's tight as a drum.

He won't even admit to liking Shakespeare.

It's so frustrating, because it seems like he's gonna cr*ck at any moment.

If we could just find his weak spot.

He's a know-all. Loves to be right.

That's where to hit him.

Okay.

And how are things going there?

Well, we have a suspect in custody. Looks like our man.

I'm not so sure he is, though.

Same old Jane.

And how's Darcy?

Oh, she's right here, if you want to ask her directly.

Mm, no, thanks. But send her my best wishes.

Okay. Bye.

(beep, phone snaps shut)

Lisbon sends her love.

Oh. I doubt that.

Oh? She doesn't like me very much.

Why would you say that?

Oh, come on. Enough about that.

Why don't you think this is our man?

Ah, it's just a feeling. Can't really put my finger on it.

I disagree.

Hmm. Okay.

Case closed, then. Lovely working with you.

Wait a minute. The case isn't closed.

We have to wait for the blood and DNA.

We've gotta get this right.

Lieutenant Governor's watching it very closely.

The Lieutenant Governor doesn't give a damn about this case.

Quit fooling. What's the real story here?

Why do you want me on this case so badly?

Okay. You're right. I lied.

I asked for you on the case because I need your help.

My job's in jeopardy. It's... you know, it's office politics.

I need a win.

But you have a win.

You're confident James Barca's guilty?

But you're not.

You know, maybe you're right.

Hey. Help me. Come on. Please.

Stay.

If I stay and I'm right, we run this case my way.

I'm here to learn.

(chuckles)

Then I'll stay.

(sighs)

Do you recognize this item?

No.

Are you sure?

Take a closer look.

I'm sure.

No. Take a really good look.

(sighs)

It's a beautiful object, isn't it?

Hmm. Suppose so.

Yeah. Restful to look at.

Very...

(whispers) restful.

Wayne, are you really trying to hypnotize me?

No.

(chuckles) Yes, you are.

Just checking to see if you recognize that.

Oh?

(papers rustling)

You were. You were trying to hypnotize me. (clears throat)

No. No, I wasn't. (chuckling)

(sighs)

Before we were so rudely interrupted by James Barca, I was asking you about Red John.

Now? When I have eggs coming?

Well, I can't help it. I'm an FBI agent.

I like to get at the truth.

Hmm.

I tell you what— how 'bout I do an old-school psychic reading on you, and then we'll talk Red John?

You wanna do your act?

Mm, what can I say?

I'm a showman.

Okay.

Do your reading and then we'll talk.

You have to be completely honest with me.

Of course.

Happy childhood?

Yes.

Who was your favorite, mom or dad?

Dad.

Mom showed weakness?

Dad was stronger?

Yeah, I guess.

Stronger how?

I don't know. Uh, you know. Life.

No. Something more specific than that.

Something you... can't talk about easily.

You have the confidence of an only child, yet there's sadness also.

You lost somebody.

Everybody's lost somebody.

Yes, but you lost a sister or a brother.

Which?

Sister. Drowning.

It wasn't anybody's fault.

You blame yourself, which you know is crazy.

(laughs) Wow.

You're good.

Huh.

That's a neat skill.

So now let's talk about Red John.

That's why you're relentless in your work.

Because you're relentlessly hard on yourself.

You know, you should cut yourself some slack.

You'd be a lot happier.

Come on. You don't know anything about my—

You're lonely and you're sad because you lock down your emotions, which accounts for your stilted seduction technique.

You're capable of great passion if you'd just let yourself go.

But you won't, not until you redeem yourself, make the wrong things right.

But how can you hope to do that?

You can't bring your sister back.

You're on your own.

Deep down inside, you're a cruel man, aren't you?

Here you go, hon.

(mug clatters)

Ah.

Susan, wait.

Seriously, Patrick, I'm not interested.

Oh, never mind that.

I realize what's bugging me about this case.

Agents.

Have you charged him?

Charged who?

The man you arrested. The pizza guy.

Who told you we'd arrested anyone?

Ah. Of course. Ranger Franklin.

I was told in confidence.

Well, never mind who we have in custody.

We need to look through your wife's stuff.

Now.

This is her room.

(switch clicks)

Separate bedrooms, huh?

If you tell me what you're looking for, maybe I can help.

Ooh, I doubt that very much.

(baby crying in distance)

Excuse me.

What are you looking for?

Uh, Kati wasn't wearing her wedding ring.

Yes. You're right.

Hmm.

Maybe James Barca took it.

He didn't have it, did he?

Maybe he threw it away.

Possibly. But why?

More likely, she wasn't wearing her ring because she left it at home, because that's what people do when they're having an affair.

Were you and Kati having an affair?

Oh, come on.

No, ma'am, we were not.

Oh, James, don't deny yourselves the truth.

You and Kati were in love.

Or am I wrong?

Was it just a little... fun? A little lust?

No.

I loved her.

And she loved me.

She was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Why didn't you tell us before?

Tell you that she was cheating? What for?

I don't wanna make it seem like she was a bad person.

Give her family more grief.

Well, that's very considerate of you.

How long were you together?

Six months.

I delivered a pizza one time, and we got to talking.

She was... lonely, and...

I don't know. We got along.

She said we must have been married in a previous life.

Does anyone else know about the relationship?

No.

Look, James, if you can prove you were lovers, you might be able to avoid the death penalty.

I don't want to avoid it.

I k*lled her.

See, thing is, James...

I'm about, oh...

80% sure that you didn't k*ll her.

I wish that were true.

We'll see.

(door creaks)

I found this in your wife's bedroom.

Make of it what you will, but Mr. Barca is innocent.

Your wife's k*ller is still out there.

But the man confessed, didn't he?

Well, he's just a messed-up kid, that's all.

I could kick myself.

The truth was right there.

I missed it by a hair. A hair.

Brush aside the distractions, and it's just so obvious.

What is?

I don't follow you.

No need. No need.

Leave it to us professionals.

And rest assured, the true culprit will pay dearly.

(snaps)

Excuse me.

"The true culprit will pay dearly"?

That a little too theatrical for you?

Where are we going now?

Right now we're going back to the forest service office.

To do what?

To release James Barca and get a search warrant for his brother Manny.

Manny Barca is your culprit?

What's his motive?

Well, who knows? Maybe he was in love with Kati, too.

Come on. That's not enough.

Sure, it is.

(door closes)

Jane.

It's not enough.

Deal was we run this case my way.

Well, the deal's off.

We're charging James Barca as soon as the blood work gets back.

I'm sick and tired of your antics.

Kati Bauer deserves better than these stupid games you're playing.

Oh, don't talk to me about games.

And you don't care a damn about Kati Bauer, nor is your job in jeopardy.

Excuse me?

I'm only here so you can get a good, close-up look at me.

Why would I want to get a good, close-up look at you?

You tell me.

And quit your playacting, 'cause you're really not very good at it.

Red John is alive, and you know it.

Well, that's a theory.

It's a fact.

And the only question is, why would you deny it?

Why would you try and throw me off the trail?

I realized something.

You're not hunting Red John, you're protecting him.

That's why you claim he's dead.

That's absurd.

What other conclusion could I come to?

If you're enemies, why hasn't he k*lled you?

Well...

Why hasn't he k*lled the people you work with?

I don't know.

Well, if Red John is dead, why are the people that cross him still dying?

Because he has friends. He has disciples.

Are you one of them? Is that why you're protecting him?

I wasn't protecting him, I was protecting you.

No, Susan, you have this all wrong.

Patrick, how can I believe a word you say?

You won't even admit that Red John is alive.

Okay. Fine.

I admit that Red John is still alive.

Why did you deny it?

It was a mistake.

But I am not his friend, nor am I one of his disciples.

I sure hope you can prove that.

Well, I don't have to prove anything.

You do.

Well, I guess we have nothing more to do here.

Goodbye, Patrick.

Hey, Mr. Jane.

Ah, Franklin.

Listen, uh, big news.

We're gonna release James Barca first thing tomorrow morning.

Agent Darcy's getting a search warrant for his brother Manny's house and car.

Holy cow. Why?

No real evidence yet, but we're certain that Manny is our man.

You wanna help us execute the search warrants?

Sure thing.

All right. I'll call you first thing in the morning.

Hey, Jane. How's it going?

Oh, it's going great.

I need your help.

My help?

What about Darcy?

Uh... it didn't work out. Long story. Uh, no big deal.

I'll tell you when you get here.

I'm busy here!

Call me when you're close.

I have to go. Jane needs me.

You guys are gonna have to handle this yourselves.

Uh... okay.

Here's some water.

Thank you.

(bag rustles)

Thank you.

Traces of DNA were found under Matilda's fingernails.

Oh.

Ah.

So now you're going to test my DNA by sampling the saliva I left on that bottle, huh?

That drink of water's gonna be pretty expensive.

You're busted.

Do yourself a favor— get out ahead of this.

Talk to us.

Well, these days I imagine an intelligent k*ller will be very careful not to leave DNA on his or her victim.

Everybody makes mistakes.

(chuckles)

Not the k*ller of Matilda Cruz.

Sweetheart, if you ever want a sample of my DNA, all you gotta do is ask.

(thuds)

(horn honks)

Okay.

What happened with Darcy?

Um, you're not gonna ask about the case?

Is it under control?

Yes. I missed you.

I missed you, too.

Hmm.

So what happened?

We fell out.

Did you cr*ck the Philo case?

No, not yet.

That's it? You fell out?

Well, you don't think I'd tell you? Can we go?

(sighs)

(shifts gears)

(sighs)

Now we wait.

Tell me what happened with Darcy.

Hmm...

(horn honks)

I'm still here.

Yes. I know.

Please, Jane, just tell me what happened.

Okay.

I admitted that Red John is still alive, just like you wanted me to, and she accused me of working for him.

What?

She thinks I'm one of Red John's disciples.

The FBI thinks you're working with Red John?

Don't look so serious. It's a joke.

What did you tell her?

I told her to go ahead and prove it.

Oh, my God.

Well, news flash—

I don't work for Red John, so she's wasting her time.

What did Darcy use as proof?

Well, sh—nothing. How could she have any proof?

I can't believe you haven't cracked Philo yet.

I mean, you guys just can't manage without me, can you?

Don't try and divert me with insults!

Okay, what did she say she was gonna do?

She didn't.

And you didn't ask her?

Ah! Look.

Jane: Uh, excuse me.

You're both under arrest!

I'm not sure why, but hey...

(clatter)

You knew Kati was having an affair with James Barca, but you didn't tell Sandy, because, uh, he'd want a divorce. And in California, that means that Kati would get half the assets and joint custody of Megan, like a reward.

Exactly. A reward for being a slut.

Hon, I thought we agreed not to talk till Josh Wagner gets here.

All right.

All right.

When you saw Kati preparing that picnic lunch, you knew it was for her regular date with James.

She made potato salad right in front of me.

As brazen as can be.

And you used your insulin needle to inject a powerful sedative, horse tranquilizer, probably, into all of the wine bottles of that wine rack.

So that whichever bottle Kati took, your plan would still work.

(glass shatters)

(Shirley) It was a good plan.


It was a very good plan.

Then why are we here?

Those tiny holes you left in the wine bottles on the wine rack.

That was your downfall.

That, and the shard of glass that you left up at the picnic site.

All I needed to do was plant the word "hairbrush" in your subconscious and bait a trap with a fake story to be passed on by chatty Cathy here.

Whoa. Hey, look, I had no idea that I was passing on a—

I was just teasing.

Relax. It's fine.

You did very well. You did a great job.

In fact, you cracked the case for us.

And that is exactly what my report will reflect.

Congratulations.

Well, that's...

Thank you.

Well, think nothing of it. You know, your call, but perhaps you might wanna release James Barca now.

I'm sure his family would appreciate it.

For him, okay? Just—

James.

(voice breaking) Oh, my goodness. Brother.

Oh! James! Are you okay?

That's nice. You did good.

Hmm.

Oh. Time to go.

Nope.

Mm. Okay.

Thank you.

(straining) Yep.

Thank you.

Yep.

Agent Darcy. Come on in.

Congratulations. Case solved.

Although I understand Jane may have irritated you somewhat with his antics.

Hey, all's well that ends well, though, right?

No. We have a problem.

Oh?

These past two days have confirmed something for me.

I think Patrick Jane is a cunning, manipulative sociopath.

Oh.

I think he's working hand-in-hand with Red John.

Really?

If it's true, we're taking him down.

And you can help, or you can go down with him.

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but that's the FBI perspective.

You deserve full disclosure.

Yes, I see.

Well, you can count on my full cooperation.

Sorry to inconvenience you, Mr. Philo.

I'll sign you out downstairs.

(button clicks) You start thinking about a new career, Wayne.

(bell dings) 'Cause this one's all over for you.

Ah. Well met. Well met.

Uh, I was just, uh, telling your hapless friend here I am gonna bury you morons in lawsuits.

You may think you've won this one, but look at your hands, Mr. Philo.

They're stained red with Matilda's blood.

Will all great Neptune's Waters wash that blood clean from your hand?

No.

(laughs)

It's "oceans." "Neptune's oceans."

(ding)

You're right.

"Neptune's oceans." "MacBeth," Act II, Scene 2.

Shakespeare. You lied to us, Mr. Philo.

Why would you lie to us?

(whispers) No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

(normal voice) No.

No.

You need to come talk to us some more, Gary.

(ding)

I know. I know.

You don't know whether to hug me or to hit me.

Ugh!

I—
Post Reply