05x02 - The Good Listener

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

[Music playing]

[Water dripping]

♪ In the cafe the other day ♪
♪ down in Chinatown ♪
♪ there I sat in a Chinese hat ♪
♪ with a black man, yellow, and brown ♪
♪ plinky plinky poo said: "quiet, please"... ♫

[Moaning]

♪ pakee pakee poo will sing ♪
♪ and music will play in an oriental way ♪
♪ while played by ling ling pling... ♪

[Yodeling]

[Loud banging]

This is a raid!

[Whistle blowing]

[Men shouting]

[Shouting continues]

[Whistle blowing]

Federal agents.

[Shouting continues]

Federal agents. Don't move.

Get the rats out of those corners.

Flush 'em out.

Yes, sir.

Cash on the table.

That's right.

Give 'em the third degree, boys.

f*ck.

[Music playing]

You sure, Nuck? Nothing to eat?

Thank you, John, no.

Grazie.

Anisette?

John.

For our guest.

Snuck it back from Naples.

Well, in that case.

So, what brings you to New York?

I was about to ask you the same thing.

I'm from here. Figured might as well retire here.

You look good, John. Relaxed.

I still can't swallow right.

A few crumbs from a biscotto will send me into a choking fit.

Small price to pay.

If only I knew what I was paying for.

I'd always assumed O'Banion.

A little closer to home.

Capone moved on you?

Let's just say whoever it was, I got the message.

Most fellas in this business, they get their retirement papers straight from the Grim f*cking Reaper.

Colosimo, Rothstein, Masseria.

Got his wake tomorrow.

Joe the boss.

Richest man in the cemetery.

I'll show up, pretend to say a prayer, then I'll come home and listen to Rudy Vallee.

Pleasant evening.

I got everything I need, Nucky.

I eat, go to pictures, feed the birds.

I walked away from that other sh*t and I never looked back.

Then I suppose you'd have no opinion on who tried to have me clipped.

What? When was this?

Havana. Two days ago.

Jesus Christ.

I ran into Meyer Lansky at a cafe before it happened.

He's down there all the time.

What for?

Who knows?

Get away from his wife.

Masseria, then me.

Within 24 hours.

Ask me, the little kike's taking orders from Maranzano.

Sit down with him direct. Look him right in the eye.

Maranzano?

I'll broker if you want.

Be your go-between.

Year in, year out, different dogs, same f*cking bone.

Well, how many times you need to hear it?

Take the hint and retire already.

[Sighs]

Oh lord, who watches over children in this present life and the world to come, bringing them to live with the spirits of the divine rest, receive in peace the soul of your little servant Susan.

Amen.

Amen.

[Crying]

[Fly buzzing]

Damn heat.

Why haven't they come?

I sent a message for the undertaker hours ago.

Say a prayer for your sister.

Go... go on.

Is she... dead?

[Crying]

Hush yourself now.

She's with Jesus now, dear.

It's going to be all right.

[Crying]

Take him outside.

Shh, shh, shh.

Go, god damn it, and get to your work.

Have we no money? Is that why they haven't come?

There was a dollar in the tin.

Leave me be.

Did you drink it away?

Just tell me that.

She's my child, too.

The thought of her in Potter's field.

There'll be none of that.

Quiet now.

She'll rest in the yard so she's close.

[Tapping]

Sorry. Nerves.

Res ipsa loquitur.

Mr. Thompson?

Yes. Thank you.

Good luck.

William Thompson.

Robert Hodge. Welcome.

Is it crowded out there?

A little bit.

Hypothetical...

You're an Assistant US Attorney, you're prosecuting a fella, let's call him Baker.

Now, this Baker's been arrested for petty theft, due to be released the next morning.

That night, a detective calls, says he's certain this is the same Baker who's a stickup artist from Ohio wanted for a string of robberies.

What he needs is for you to misplace Baker's paperwork till the file arrives from Youngstown in two more days.

If you don't and Baker's released, chances are he'll flee.

Well?

I can't do it.

So he cools his heels awhile.

Three squares and a cot.

That's not a bad deal for anyone nowadays.

It's unethical, sir.

He's an ex-jailbird.

He k*lled a railway clerk.

He left a wife and six kids and you can't do the police a simple favor?

The law is a shield, sir, not a sword.

Holy Spirit High School, Atlantic City.

Then Temple in Philadelphia and St. John's Law in New York.

Atlantic City.

I don't suppose you're related to Nucky Thompson.

He's my father's brother.

That relationship is usually classified as Uncle.

Well, you don't get to choose your relatives, sir.

No.

But some of us get to choose our staff members.

Mr. Hodge, I...

Thank you for coming in.

I'd tail him myself if I had to.

What?

Baker, your stickup man.

I'd make sure he was released in accordance with the law, but I wouldn't let him out of my sight until the file arrived from Youngstown.

I want to be a prosecutor, sir.

I want to put criminals in jail.

The ones who divide families.

I've lost my own father, heard my mother cry herself to sleep more times than I can count.

I know the way crime eats you out from the inside.

I know it and I hate it.

Give me a chance, sir. Please?

Let me do something good with my life.

[Music playing]

"Public Enemy," "Little Caesar," have you seen either of those?

Comedies. Good for a chuckle.

[Men laughing]

Where's Mike?!

He's on his way, I guess.

You guess? Go f*cking find him.

Dove?

Where the f*ck is D'Angelo?

Where's D'Angelo?

Where the f*ck is D'Angelo?

Had a projectionist come over, show 'em to me and the boys.

Hey, Ralphie, what do you think?

Single pleats or double?

Double. Give the sauseech a little breathing room.

[Laughing]

You heard him. A dozen pair.

Double pleats.

Would you ever do a picture yourself?

What for? I'm already famous.

[Laughing]

Where the f*ck's Mike?!

I'm on it, Al. I'm on it.

We're on it, Al. We're on it.

What’s this for again?

"Variety" in Hollywood.

Paging Mike D'Angelo. Paging Mike D'Angelo!

In a jiffy, Al. In a jiffy.

He's coming down the hall now, Al.

Hey, he's coming down the hall now, Al.

Two-inch cuffs.

At your height, an inch a half is...

Two inches.

Get a lot of fan mail?

Here's Mike, Al.

12 seconds with the big boy, Mike.

Don't get him agitated.

Mike, where you been? Been asking for you.

What's on your mind, boss?

Hey!

Sorry, sorry.

This is off the record.

Why, sure.

Naturally.

Ralphie, what I want Mike for?

I don't know, Al. You didn't say.

Jesus, I got a lot on my mind.

Now, you gotta ask me.

Actually, Al, I need to talk to you.

Last night, 6th and Springer, feds.

What?

How bad?

600 cases Canadian club.

Any cash?

Just shy of 20 grand.

Jesus! Back off, Puddy!

Take a hike. Shoo, come on.

All right.

Get him outta here.

Apologies!

Get outta here.

Take a hike.

Sorry.

6th and Springer. Whose territory is that?

Mueller and the other one.

Atlantic City.

He says he's been making his payoffs, but this fed, the one in charge, says he never saw him before.

How's that Al's problem?

It ain't.

I just, you know, want to make him aware.

I'm aware.

Those clowns owe me 20 grand.

Tell Mueller he finds the dough or I'll sell his balls for f*cking scrap!

[Laughing]

You were telling me about your fan mail.

Sure. Comes in from all over the world.

People looking to make a touch.

Berlin.

See?

Even the krauts know what a prince I am.

[Laughs]

Floor, please?

Nine.

Was he upset?

Al? No. He had a big laugh of it.

Well, that's a rel...

Of course he was upset, you f*cking blockhead.

20 grand, you think that's peanuts?

Mr. D'Angelo, I...

14th floor.

[Whistling tune]

12th, skip.

Switching to a suite.

[Continues whistling]

[Elevator bell dings]

12th floor.

Have a good day.

You're gonna replace that dough.

Every last cent. You understand?

How am I supposed to do that?

You gonna give me lip now?

No, sir.

Figure it the f*ck out.

Got to be something rattling around that giant coconut of yours.

Ninth floor.

You got 24 hours, Mueller.

Going down.

Well?

What's he hocking you for?

You work for me, so I'm getting the blame.

What do you want from me?

I was lucky I wasn't pinched myself.

We have to answer for this.

I told him what happened.

Some boy scout fed trying to make a name for himself.

Are you deaf? Mr. D'Angelo does not care.

Mr. Capone wants his money.

And Mr. Mueller can go f...

Fifth floor.

Tearoom, please.

[Dog whining]

Oh, say hello to my Daisy.

Say hello to my Daisy.

Hello, Daisy.

Yeah. There you go.

Oh, isn't that nice?

Yes.

[Elevator bell dings]

Third floor. Tearoom.

Thank you.

Thank you.

g*dd*mn f*cking money.

I'll get it back, okay?

You're chock-full of promises, aren't you?

I said I'd take care of it.

You can barely take care of yourself.

You reek, by the way.

Of urine.

[Elevator bell dings]

Lobby.

Going to see the big fella.

[Music playing]

We would summer in Saratoga.

This was when Martin still had the factory.

Hmm.

I'd go up with the children and open the house.

And Martin would stay in the city and tend to his affairs.

And I do mean that literally.

Was he that brazen?

Oh, nothing if not discreet.

And the season in Saratoga was always very gracious.

We preferred Atlantic City.

My husband had family there, so...

And now it’s time for "the good listener"

with Mrs. Nadine St. Clair.

Hello, dear friends.

Thank you for joining me today.

Oh, I do love a bit of the agony aunt, don't you?

In these uncertain times, wouldn't you like to know there's someone who understands our burdens?

But, dear friends, I hope you realize you can always talk to me.

Our first letter comes from J.W. in Morristown.

She relates a heartbreaking tale.

Unwanted pregnancy.

"Dear Mrs. St. Clair," for the last three years my fiance has promised that as soon as his mother passed on, he would do right by me and"...

[Radio turns off]

Why did you do that?

It doesn't create a conducive atmosphere.

I was listening.

Well, you can listen in the parlor.

It's all right. Isn't it all right?

I'd like to listen. I'd like to listen.

I'd like to listen to Nadine St. Clair.

I... I want to.

I want to. I want to.

I want to! I want to!

[Women clamoring]

[Barking]

I want to!

[Taps baton]

Ladies! Ladies! Ladies!

[Woman whimpering]

What are we here for?

[Woman whimpers]

Hmm?

To be good.

Were you being good?

Were you?

Were you?

Were you?

Were you?

If we're good today, we'll be better tomorrow.

And if we're better tomorrow...

Dr. Cotton is happy.

Dr. Cotton is happy.

And when Dr. Cotton is happy, I'm happy.

And when I'm happy...

Bath time has ended, ladies.

[Chatting quietly]

What are you?

A good girl.

May I have what I asked for?

If I get what I ask for.

[Jackhammer rattling]

[Tools buzzing]

Always this noisy?

Sound of progress.

Got a whole complex planned.

Rockefeller center.

Nothing wrong with building a shrine to oneself.

Isn't that what money's for?

[Chuckles]

Your senator Lloyd sends his regrets.

He's been detained down in Washington.

[Sighs]

Well, if you don't mind, I'd like a few moments of your time anyway.

And why exactly should you have it?

Because as the board members of the newly formed Mayflower Grain Corporation, it's fairly obvious, to me at least, that you gentlemen are poised to enter the liquor business.

Is that so?

Unless I'm wrong and there's more potential in Wheatena than in Barley and Hops.

[Laughs] We agreed to meet, Mr. Thompson, as an accommodation to the senator.

Owing to your special relationship.

But let's suppose for the moment, for the sake of argument, that you're right and breakfast cereal is only half our concern.

Why should we listen to you?

As a result of my recent trip to Havana, I've secured exclusive north American distribution rights for Bacardi rum.

In the event the sale of their product once again becomes legal.

I propose we pool our resources, enter into a partnership.

With my experience and know-how, we can build an infrastructure ready to distribute alcohol throughout...

What experience?

Beg pardon?

To what experience are you referring?

My background is quite varied.

Would you care to elaborate?

If there's any question of my integrity, senator Lloyd...

We're simply asking what qualifies you to be in the liquor business.

Specifically.

What qualifies me is that for the past 11 years I have been one of the most successful bootleggers in the country.

Oh, I see.

Is there a reason you wanted to pretend as if you didn't know?

We prefer putting our cards on the table.

Just so we're all on the same page.

Fine.

The crash hit me hard as anyone, gentlemen.

I can't finance an operation like I have in mind on my own.

You're putting the cart before the horse.

We need assurances, Mr. Thompson, that repeal actually is on the horizon.

A half million women seem to think so, if that rally was any indication.

Women for reform, or whatever they call themselves.

Wanting something and achieving it are two very different things.

Though one naturally follows the other.

We're betting on the same thing, boys.

That repeal is going to happen.

That may be true, but without the senator...

I'll get the senator back on board.

I'm fairly certain we both know that's not gonna happen.

Charles: We do appreciate your coming in, however.

I made the same deal, you know.

Excuse me?

Across the pond.

To import Dewar's when the country returns to its senses.

Moët champagne as well.

"Great minds... ", I suppose.

Married, Mr. Thompson?

Technically. It's complicated.

Well, affairs of the heart always are.

So your partners, was that just a vetting process or should I find some other doorway to darken?

A man like you frightens them.

These are brahmins, not brawlers.

Well, you don't seem particularly rattled.

[Chuckles]

Atlantic City.

I'll ring you up next time I visit.

Mr. Thompson.

Mr. Kennedy.

Torrio sent word. Maranzano wants to meet.

[Music playing]

[Whistling]

[Hammering]

[Women laugh]

Ah, afternoon, my ladies.

Your royal coachman awaits.

Oh, how regal.

♪ Just a song at twilight ♪
♪ when the lights are low ♪
♪ and the flickering shadows ♪
♪ softly come and go... ♪

And a serenade as well.

♪ Though the heart be weary ♪
♪ sad the day and long ♪
♪ still to us at twilight... ♪

Well, look who it is.

The linchpin of the entire organization.

Sorry I'm tardy, sir.

So you are. So you are.

I was worried sick.

Yes, sir.

Actually, Lou...

We're running a business, boy.

You're a critical part of the operation.

You can't just come and go Willy-nilly.

No, sir.

You think that sand will sweep itself?

Why, you don't show up, this whole place descends into chaos.

The very future of this hotel hanging in the balance.

Maybe...

My sister passed.

What?

My sister, sir.

She d*ed last night while we were sleeping.

Are there services? A mass?

I'd like to pay my respects.

No, sir.

The father came for last rites, but we're burying her at home.

You should send something.

What for? Kid's old man thinks I'm a devil.

He votes, don't he?

A tragedy, losing a sister.

All right, then, go on.

Find solace in your work.

[Music playing]

[Grunting]

Say, dad.

[Clatters]

What is it?

Why do clouds just float in the sky?

Is this a joke?

It's for science class.

Go ask your mother.

She said to ask you.

I'm busy, Chester.

You can see that, can't you?

Clouds float...

Because of the atmosphere.

But...

Shoo! Upstairs.

You are listening to "Fleischmann’s Yeast Hour" featuring Rudy Vallee.

♪ I'm just a vagabond lover ♪
♪ In search of a sweetheart... ♪

Dad says on account of atmosphere.

Good.

Finish your homework.

♪ The girl of my vagabond dreams... ♪

That is a thoroughly unladylike habit.

You are working?

Yes.

When you will be home?

When will I be home?

When will I be home?

This is what I say.

No, what you said was: "when you will be home?" which is entirely...

What is difference?

Difference is I'm trying to raise our children to speak proper English.

Where is Abigail, by the way?

At her meeting for the girl scouts.

I'll be late.

See that Chester says his prayers.

[Door slams]

♪ Some girls... ♪

The universe loves nothing so much as to change things which are and to make new things like them.

You're a student of Marcus Aurelius, Mr. Thompson?

I'm more of a Ben Franklin man myself.

A penny saved is a penny earned.

That sort of thing.

Masseria, Joe the boss, he was stubborn.

Like a mule.

And like a mule, he only understood the switch.

v*olence.

But you know this all too well.

I brought Mr. Maranzano up to speed with your history.

It's true we had our difficulties.

How many times I try to reason with the man?

And for what?

A goose egg.

So why try to k*ll me?

This I did not do.

I saw his partner down in Cuba the day before it happened.

Meyer and I haven't even spoke to each other in months.

A falling out?

People drift. Friendships end.

And new ones are forged.

Allegiances change as well.

A man's worth is no greater than his ambitions.

He's a good boy, Tonino.

Mr. Thompson.

Mr. Lansky I've met only once.

We have no intercourse whatsoever.

Sicilians only.

Meyer's got his thing, you got yours.

What we do here...

Concerns no one but us.

You have nothing to fear from me, Mr. Thompson.

Who said I was afraid?

So do I believe him or not?

Believe whatever it is gets you out of this mess.

It's the last stop on Guzik's route.

Got to be 20 grand in that speak at least.

When he comes out, we make our move.

Trust me, he won't put up a fight.

You've been apart how long?

What?

From your wife.

I don't know. Jesus.

Six years or so.

I mean, we arrange to see each other now and again, but it's hard.

You still care for her.

Of course. Sure.

All I think about are her and the kids.

Sometimes I find it easier to despise someone than to love them.

The f*ck is this guy?

Whoa, whoa. Easy!

Eli: Give me the f*cking g*n.

Steady now and no one gets hurt.

You know who you're robbing, pal?

Peter. To pay Paul.

[Door opens]

What the f*ck?

I said steady.

Steady.

[g*nsh*t]

I said...

I said steady, God...

[g*nsh*t]

[Groaning]

I can't move my legs.

f*ck!

Joey! Joey!

I'm gonna f*cking die, Jack!

f*ck! Let's go.

My legs! My f*cking legs!

You’re dead, you son of a bitch!

Come on. My legs.

That's Al Capone's money.

He f*cking sh*t me.

Joey!

I'm f*cking dying.

[Screams]

[g*nsh*t]

No, don't shoo...

[g*nsh*t]

Let's go!

Why must it always be pandemonium?

[Music playing]

You ever hear that riddle, the traveler and the two tribesmen?

One always lies, the other always tells the truth.

I lay down, they come after me again.

I fight back...

I met a man today, an irishman.

Millions of dollars, married, has his fingers in a dozen different pies.

Think he's wading through blood to make a buck?

You get to the point where you have to live with the choices you've made.

The good ones and the bad.

And I accept that.

I'm right there. This f*cking close.

This liquor deal comes through and I'm golden.

Then the trick's to stay alive long enough to cash out.

[Sighs]

You haven't the slightest idea what I'm talking about, do you?

Si.

Si, you do, or si, you don't?

What's the difference?

If you'd have a drink, I'd make a lot more sense.

Do you have anything to say at all?

I k*ll them, I don't k*ll them.

Whatever you say.

Bing Crosby of the rhythm boys gave you the chorus in the last selection, "out of nowhere."

Gus Arnheim and his ambassadors at the cocoanut grove continues.

[Music playing]

Left almost 90 minutes ago.

By way of yonkers?

Maranzano probably sent him for crullers.

Who, Tonino? He'd probably f*ck that up, too.

Oh, the schmuck's already here.

The f*ck were you?

I was here early.

I figured I'd get my knob polished.

What are you, 14?

We're down here waiting.

I'm sorry. It's just, you know.

You posing for animal crackers?

He ain't tipped me yet.

Take a walk.

What's the word on Maranzano?

Is he suspicious?

You know how he is. Plays it close to the vest.

Did he say anything when you dropped him off?

He says a lot of sh*t. Marcus Polo.

Who the f*ck knows what he's talking about?

You ask me, he believes you fellas are on the outs.

Based on what?

Nothing. I don't know. My opinion.

I don't like this, Charlie.

Relax.

We're Jake.

How nice you're so sure.

You had to talk to Thompson, huh?

Down in f*cking Havana.

What should I have done?

Gee, maybe not f*cking talk to him?

He saw me, Benny. Better to face it head-on.

Hey, f*ck you, you f*cking screwball!

Enough.

As far as Maranzano knows, Meyer took it on himself to ice Thompson.

Who knows what that f*cking greaseball thinks?

I say we move now. Just take him the f*ck out.

It's too soon. We don't got the support.

Support? What are we, politicians?

Ahem.

What, Tonino?

Prince street. Me taking over.

I did the thing, you said you'd think about it.

Masseria ain't even in the f*cking ground yet.

I know. I'm just reminding you.

Go back upstairs. Get yourself a rim job.

What are you sore at me for?

We'll catch up later, okay?

He's a real f*cking schnorrer, this one.

Yeah, he's all right.

Tell it to Gyp Rosetti.

What's this now?

Ethan.

What do you want?

I've come to pay my respects to you, your wife.

It's a terrible blow.

She's not here.

Your boy told me what happened.

Is there anything worse under God's blue heaven than the loss of an innocent child?

What's that?

To give your daughter a proper burial.

Think you can buy me twice?

It was a fair deal, Ethan.

No one forced you to sell that land.

Take the day, boy. Be with your family.

Thank you, sir, but if it's all the same, I'd rather come to work.

Easy there.

Pa.

You get the hell off my property.

I'm not the monster that you think I am, Ethan.

[Carriage leaving]

[Train whistle blowing]

What's he like? Hodge?

Well, he's direct, tough, earnest.

Sort of reminded me of Teddy Roosevelt.

Without the big stick, I hope.

In the interview they ask you these questions, try to test your integrity.

Would you ever break the law to get a conviction?

That type of thing.

My name come up?

Excuse me?

During the interview.

No.

'Course not.

I wouldn't be ashamed if it did.

Well, that's very noble, but you've got a future to think about.

William H. Thompson, chief justice of the supreme court.

So long as you're not the Attorney General of New Jersey.

[Chuckles]

You hardly touched your chicken.

I'm okay.

I'm proud of you, Will. We all are.

Your dad would be, too.

[Music playing]

[Man scatting]

Shut the door.

Seven.

Six.

[Al laughs] 42.

One.

64.

14.

72.

42.

71.

79.

Mueller, where you been?

There was an accident on Michigan.

What did you bring for lunch?

Cabbage.

Watch it, Fred.

There might be a cockroach ready to pounce.

That's not funny. There's bugs everywhere.

[Laughing]

42.

14.

72.

Nine.

Two fat ladies, 88.

[Laughing]

In closing, my friends, it's not the meek who change the world, but the fighters, the believers.

The city of Chicago is at a great precipice, teetering on the brink between good and evil.

So I vow to fight the Capone mob, not bow out, not walk away, not give in, not give up, but fight.

Fight to win for the fathers, the mothers, and the schoolchildren of this city.

Yeah, but, Mr. Ness, how are you gonna go about this?

And if anyone says that to fight doesn't get you anywhere, that a lone treasury agent can't make a difference, that the Capone machine is too powerful, then I say they don't know Eliot Ness.

[Reporters clamoring]

[Knocks]

Who is it?

It's Wilson.

Making progress?

Yes, sir.

14,000 in diamond belt buckles.

Christmas gifts for his employees.

All I got was a lousy bottle of champagne.

The cathouse on Huron.

I'd like a full breakdown by morning.

[Music playing]

Senor.

Mr. Thompson, he wants you.

Thirsty?

Nervous, speaking frankly.

Just a friendly conversation in a very public place.

It was the invitation got me rattled.

Don't mind him. He's a pussycat.

What do you want to know?

How about you tell me who it was spoiled my vacation?

You know I could get k*lled for just talking to you.

And you will be if you don't.

It was Lansky and Luciano.

They're gonna bide their time, let Maranzano think he's king.

Then the minute they got enough support...

His reign is over.

They're gonna take me out, too. I f*cking know it.

Put the Kn*fe in my back the second they get the chance.

But you were on board with the Masseria hit.

What choice did I have? It was go along or else.

Maranzano's got no beef with you.

As far as he's concerned, Atlantic City's yours.

I can keep what's already mine?

How exceedingly generous.

A lot more so than the other two.

Does Maranzano know what they're planning?

If he does, he ain't letting on.

How do you do it?

Work with people you can't trust?

Is that an offer?

If it were?

Anything, Mr. Thompson, I swear.

I'd come work for you in a heartbeat.

Tell my man where we can find Lansky.

In the morning, come see me.

Thank you, Mr. Thompson. I will.

Thank you, sir.

She was a lovely girl, Billie Kent.

Huh?

[Train whistle blowing]

God of all mercies, you make nothing in vain, and you love all that you have made.

Comfort us in our grief and console us with the knowledge of your unfailing love.

Through Jesus Christ, our lord.

Amen.

Amen.

Where are you going?

Made your choice, then, eh?

Sir?

Your boss there, the Commodore.

He said he would bury her proper.

[Scoffs]

Money never did the dead no good.

Fill it in.

No. No.

[Sobbing]

[Train whistle blows]

And now we're back with America's favorite family.

Ooh! What the deuce? Slow down.

[Vase shatters]

Mother's new vase.

Betsy, dear, I told you there will be no roller-skating inside the house.

Well, I don't remember that.

I said it 100 times.

Well, there's your problem, daddy.

I can't count that high.

[Sobbing]

Hey, pop.

Hello, Junior.

Say, I was hoping to borrow the keys to the Ford.

Why, certainly.

You mean, I can really take the car?

What car? I said you could borrow the keys.

Gee, you're not still sore at me, are you, pop?

Now why on earth would I be sore?

On account I dented the fender?

You did?

No, but don't you feel better now?

[Audience laughing, applauding]

[Music playing]

I'm red.

No, I'm red.

I'm red.

Started already right over here.

No, I'm red.

I'm red.

Don't touch.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Give me that back.

Ladies. Ladies.

I'm red.

Sorry.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Are you sure we should be doing this?

I say what goes here.

Understand?

You have a lovely figure.

[Sniffs]

New Year's Eve.

I wore this at the Hotel Excelsior.

Paul Whiteman played.

Does it flatter me?

Some tailoring, perhaps.

Lower the hemline.

Could you not get proper stationery?

I'm risking my job as it is.

No crazy letters to the president, now.

Why would you think I would do that?

'Cause you're in the booby hatch, honey.

That's why no pen and paper is allowed.

I did something wrong. I know that.

But the doctor said I needed to be looked after.

I just... It's all a jumble.

I just...

I need to get my thoughts straight.

[Music playing]

[Chatter]

Make sure you cork the rum.

Fella found a fruit fly...

[Woman screaming]

Oh, help!

Oh, my God!

[Tires squeal]

He's going down there!

It's the black one. The Buick.

Get the car. Get the car!

Take her out of here. All right, come on, let's go.

Turn around. Let's go.

Hey, ladies, come on. Come on, get out of here.

[Music playing]

[Whistling]

[Men vocalizing]

♪ His name was Yuba ♪
♪ he was homely, he was dumb ♪
♪ and so was Yuba, just a big ambitious bum ♪
♪ he wouldn't do-a so much as chew a piece of gum ♪
♪ so this is news to me ♪
♪ booba-doopa-doopa-doopa-doo ♪
♪ down in Havana there's a funny-looking boob-a ♪
♪ he plays the rhumba on the tuba down in Cuba ♪
♪ but this chap would rather grapple with his oompah-oompah-oompah ♪
♪ they prefer it to a booba-doopa-doopa, oop-oop ♪
♪ they love a rhumba on the tuba down in Cuba ♪
♪ ahh, boop-boop-boop-boop-boop ♪
♪ it doesn't take him very long to get a tumble ♪
♪ for all the rhumba lovers go into their rumble ♪
♪ oh, how I'd like to be his double ♪
♪ for without a bit of trouble, with his oompah-oompah-oompah ♪
♪ he can knock 11 ladies for a loop-a, oop-oop ♪
♪ they love a rhumba on the tuba down in Cuba ♪
♪ ahh, boop-boop-boop-boop-boop ♪
♪ he's not a greenhorn ♪
♪ he blows a mean horn ♪
♪ a must-be-seen horn ♪
♪ oh, he's a whiz ♪
♪ oh, he's a whiz ♪
♪ oh, he's a whiz ♪
♪ oh, he's a whiz ♪
♪ why, all Havana loves this funny-looking boob-a ♪
♪ who plays the rhumba on the tuba down in Cuba ♪
♪ I can't believe it, but they tell us every peanut vendor's jealous ♪
♪ of his oompah-oompah-oompah ♪
♪ they prefer it to the boopa-doopa-doopa ♪
♪ oop-oop ♪
♪ peanut ♪
♪ they love the rhumba on the tuba down in Cuba ♪
♪ they love his oompah-oompah-oompah oompah-oomp-oomp-oomp ♪
♪ oop. ♪