02x21 - Room 3502
Posted: 01/10/24 14:14
Mrs. Carmichael disappeared in
the middle of the night last night.
- That room is haunted.
- Haunted?
[Announcer] Tonight,
on Simon & Simon...
What we got here, you see,
is a very disturbed woman.
Which way was she headed?
I'm going to k*ll you!
- FBI?
- You never heard us
say that.
It's all connected
to you and that night
in room 3502.
I came to look at the room.
- If there is nothing weird
about this room...
- If what?
Why are we yelling
at each other?
- Whoa.
- That's her.
If I have to waste him...
[g*n fires]
♪♪ [theme]
[Man] I'm sorry, we're full up.
It's the computer
software convention.
[Man #2] Uh, could you
suggest some place else?
I'm afraid it's the
same all over town, sir.
There might be something
available in Oceanside or Cardiff.
How far is that?
About 40 miles.
[sighs]
I don't think I can
make it another 40 miles.
We do have one room available.
- Room 3502, but uh...
- But what?
I don't think you'd like 3502.
Does it have a bed?
- Of course.
- We'd like it.
[bell rings] Front.
I don't know, honey.
This place seems
all right to me.
I'm sorry, I... I
guess we could have
done a little better if I'd
made a reservation, huh?
Oh, forget it, honey.
The trip was a sweet idea.
It's not your fault.
I'm still a little edgy.
I just want you to
relax and get better.
I hate to see you hurting.
[knocking]
They told me
somebody rented 3502
but I didn't believe
it 'til I saw it.
- We're, uh...
- Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael,
right?
I'm Phoebe.
Uh, no... Don't tell me.
Wait, no, no. Don't tell me.
Uh, Libra and
Capricorn, am I right?
[laughs] Well, it was easy.
Your auras are almost palpable.
I don't think I can handle this.
I mean maybe we've
got auras in Michigan,
but at least people have the
good sense not to mention it.
Where are you going?
To take a shower.
I'll be right back.
Honeymooners, huh?
Sort of.
We've, uh, been
married two years.
It's kind of a
second... Oh, I get it.
[sighs] Good.
I'd hate to think of anyone
spending their
first in this room.
Why?
What's wrong with it?
You don't know?
Oh, hey, I've only
worked here a month,
and part-time at that,
and I know all about it.
Okay...
You and Phoebe have a
real nice talk, did ya, hon?
She told me some
very interesting things.
And what did she tell you?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Do you, uh... You
wanna sleep on that side?
What are you talking about?
I always sleep on the left side.
Honey,
stop and think about
it for a minute, now.
Who answers the phone
when it rings at night?
And what side of the bed
is the phone on at home?
You always have to
be right, don't you?
All right, all my life
I've slept on the
right side of the bed,
and now I wanna
sleep on the left.
Any objections?
No.
Good morning.
Jodi?
Honey?
Excuse me.
Uh, I'm Mr. Carmichael, in 3502.
Did you happen to
see my wife come down
for breakfast this morning?
Your wife left the
hotel about 4 AM, sir.
What?
Walked right passed me
like she was on
some urgent mission.
I remember I asked,
did she want a cab.
She never turned to look at me.
I thought you knew.
[Sports Announcer] 50
seconds to go and counting.
Bogle gets off a
beauty of a kick.
Preston can't
afford the fair catch.
He grabs it on the
one and starts upfield.
Breaks free at the
15... Wow, hit at the 20
and the ball pops up in
the air and out of bounds.
[static]
[Woman] Marine operator
29, may I help you?
No.
No!
[Man] Uh, hi ya darlin'.
This is the motor
vessel, Hole in the Water.
Whiskey, Alpha, 2-0-4-1.
Yes, operator, this
is a third party call
to be billed to area
code 619-555-8896.
Just a moment, please.
Yes, ma'am. I'll
hold. Thank you.
[phone rings]
Hello?
Rick Simon is
billing a call to you...
Oh, yes, ma'am. That
charge will be just fine.
Thank you. Bye-bye.
Hi, Susie. I'm not
waking you, am I, love.
No, but I can hardly hear you.
Yeah, I know. It's
a lousy connection.
I'm having to use kind of, uh,
alternate equipment here.
A.J. put a lock on on
the telephone again.
- Hang on, honey.
- [door slams]
Hiya, neighbor. ¿Qué pasa?
Ooh. Little trouble with
the TV reception, huh?
[heavy breathing]
I can deal with having
you guys for neighbors.
Uh-huh.
Did I say anything
when that b*mb went off
- in the canal two months ago?
- No, you didn't. No.
What about those
two guys in gray suits
who keep driving their
car all over my lawn?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Do I complain?
No, no, you don't.
Also, I didn't get to thank you
for the coffee and doughnuts
during the hostage situation.
I'll get back to you,
Susie, okay? Bye-bye.
Can't you organize
your love life
so you won't destroy
the entire neighborhood's
communication with
the outside world?
Ah, geez... The Charger game.
It's their last chance
for a playoff berth.
I'm sor... Here, be my guest.
There you go.
[Announcer] Surely,
the most incredible play,
the most bizarre ending,
in the history of
American football.
Thanks for listening.
We now join Capital
Cloakroom in progress.
Mr. Gormin, I'm just as
sorry as I can be about this.
I, uh... I just...
Mr. Gormin, Mr. Gormin?
Listen, you know what
I'd do if I were you?
I'd really check in
to getting the cable.
- You know what I mean? That way you...
- Hi, Mr. Gormin.
[mumbling]
He had a little problem
with his TV set and...
If you are quite through
antagonizing our neighbors,
I would like you to
meet a new client.
Bob Carmichael, this
is my brother, Rick.
- Hi, Rick.
- Bob.
Nice to meet ya.
Jodi's father passed
away about five weeks ago,
and she had a...
kind of a breakdown.
So, I suggested a vacation,
a change of scene.
And here we are.
Well, could anything
have happened
to upset her and to
trigger another breakdown?
No.
Had a little trouble
getting a room.
And we had a
stupid fight last night
about absolutely nothing.
She's... She's just
tired from the trip.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know?
Good morning, Mr. Carmichael.
Is everything okay in the room?
Not really.
Oh, uh, wait. The maid.
Phoebe!
She talked to my wife last night
while I was in the shower.
- Phoebe?
- Yes, Mr. Carmichael?
Did you talk to Mrs.
Carmichael last night?
- Well...
- What did you talk about?
Uh, it's all right, Phoebe.
Uh, these men are
private detectives.
Mrs. Carmichael disappeared
in the middle of
the night last night.
Oh. Hi.
I bet you're really
good detectives.
Gemini and Pisces,
very observant.
Uh-huh.
I'm not a Pisces.
Did you talk to her?
Of course I did.
I'm Aries.
We never hold anything back.
What was it you
didn't hold back?
About the room.
It's haunted.
- Haunted?
- It... Haunted?
A couple of years back,
a woman named Rosalynd
Martin checked into that room.
At 6:00 in the morning
she started screaming
about her husband
being m*rder*d.
By the time they
got into the room,
she'd slit her wrists.
And you told my wife that?
I told her the truth.
That room is haunted.
I mean, nobody's had a
decent night's sleep in there
since it happened.
I mean, the management
doesn't necessarily
go around advertising that
we've got a haunted room.
But, they're certainly
never in any rush to rent it.
Not that there are a
lot of folks wanting it.
But, I mean, once
the word got around...
Oh, um, listen.
You guys aren't gonna
tell the night manager,
um, like what I said, are you?
I mean, they don't
like me to, well...
He'd probably just say
I was a blabbermouth.
Well, he'd probably
say anything.
[A.J.] Don't worry,
we won't tell him.
I won't either.
I don't wanna get
you in trouble, Phoebe.
[sighs]
I just wanna get my wife back.
The thought of her
alone in a strange city...
She's so innocent.
This ought to do the job.
- I'll take it.
- Not so fast.
You'll have to fill
out this form, first.
You can pick up
your piece in 15 days.
Fifteen days? Why?
It's the law.
State has to have
time to check you out,
see if you have some
kind of felony record.
I can't wait 15 days.
Then, I can't sell you the g*n.
- Hey, miss.
- What?
You wanna buy... You
wanna buy a g*n, fast?
Yeah.
Twenty bucks'll get you a name.
What are you looking
for, ectoplasm?
- Say what?
- Ectoplasm.
You know, the stuff that
ghosts are made out of?
The stuff that's
under the sheets.
I mean, you don't buy this
haunted room garbage, do ya?
Well, there's something
funny about this room, though.
Well, what are you looking for?
You could help!
Well, I can't help
if you don't tell me
what it is you're looking for!
Fine, try this.
Now, here's Jodi.
According to the husband,
this, uh, this young innocent
from Ishpeming, Michigan.
I mean, she probably had
a beer on grad night, right?
Probably doesn't
even smoke tobacco.
What are you getting at?
Now, Phoebe comes
up, gets her all upset,
she wakes up in the
middle of the night.
Now, let's suppose
that the last
tenant in this place
left something just a
tad illegal here, all right?
Now, Jodi gets up,
and I don't know why,
but she smokes it or
she... she... she swallows it
or snorts it. Is that
real enough for ya?
No, it's the most ridiculous
thing I've ever heard in my life!
- Did you find a stash?
- No, I didn't find a stash!
But there's something else here!
What? Make it good!
- If there is nothing weird
about this room...
- Yeah, what?
Why are we yelling at each
other for no good reason?
[seagulls screech]
[Man] Hi, how you doing?
I'm looking for Mr. Fortune.
Ah, good.
The approach.
You can tell a lot about the
person from his approach.
Are you interested
in some ice cream?
No, I'm interested in a g*n.
Whoa. "w*apon," please.
It's a good word,
descended from the Norse "vápn."
Hey, God, those Norsemen
sure had a lot of
hair, didn't they?
Oh, how did you get my name?
A guy outside a pawn
shop on West 15th.
Uh-huh.
And how do I know that
you're sincere in this?
Well, the time was,
you could tell a cop
by the smell of his
loafers, but no more.
Insincerity, artifice.
I'm not a cop, for God's sake!
All I want is a damn g*n.
Why should that be so hard?
Look, I've got 200 in cash.
What'll it get me?
[chuckles] You're in luck.
We're having a sale.
What do you recommend?
Well, it's not often I get
to give consumer advice.
Uh, here, here.
Take the Enfield.
- I think you'll be amused
by its pretension.
- Thanks.
Oh, and by the way, my dear,
uh, I'd advise you to keep
the w*apon in one place
and the a*mo close by.
That way, if you have
to protect your house...
I'm not interested in
protecting my house.
I have other plans.
Hi, Mrs. Mitchell?
- Hi.
- Yes?
I'm A.J. Simon. This
is my brother, Rick.
We spoke to you on
the phone, remember?
Oh, yes, of course. How are you?
Uh, hello, Rick.
Why don't you come inside.
Do you mind helping
me with these plants?
- Oh, no, not at all.
- Sure.
[Rick]
- Uh, here. You take that.
- Thank you.
You said that I
was the last person
- to stay in room 3502?
- Yes, ma'am.
Until last night.
But, my husband
and I stayed there
over eight months ago.
Yeah, the Del... Thank you.
The Del doesn't
normally rent that room.
Well, I can certainly
understand why.
There's something
very disturbing
about room 3502.
The first night we were there,
I had the worst
nightmares I've ever had
in my entire life.
I can't even remember
what I dreamt about.
It's just that I know I
was scared half to death.
And my husband,
he had exactly the
same experience.
So, in the middle of the night,
we just packed up our bags
and got the hell
out of that room.
Is it possible that
you might have...
Well, that you
might have left, uh...
say, some medicine?
Oh, you mean stash?
Yes, ma'am.
Look, I certainly don't
need anything artificial
to enhance my life.
But, if I did,
I sure wouldn't leave
it in some hotel room.
Told you it was a dumb question.
But that room was a
totally different kind of trip.
[sighs]
If I didn't know
better, I would swear...
Swear what, Mrs. Mitchell?
That that room was haunted.
Excuse me.
Could you tell me where
the Rafelson
Chemical building is?
Yeah, I can do better
than that, Sugar.
I'm going right passed there.
Can I, uh, give you a lift?
Come on, I don't bite.
Not right off,
anyway. [chuckles]
Uh, my name is Wayne.
I'm Rosalynd.
Yeah, I bet all your
friends call you Rosy, huh?
I don't know.
Yeah, right.
Uh, so, is that a
wedding ring I see there?
My husband's dead.
Oh, hey, I'm real
sorry to hear that.
Hey, you know who you look like?
That TV actress with
her own series, huh?
You know who I mean.
No, the only TV
I've been watching
are the Watergate hearings.
The Watergate hearings?
I think it's disgraceful
that a President
of the United States should
be involved in that way.
I hope they impeach
him, don't you?
[tires squeal]
Jerk.
Man, I'll tell ya, all
this hotel hopping
brings back a lot of memories.
The Hotel Dunbar,
now there's a class joint.
You know, I used to spend hours
in the linen room on the third floor
waiting for some
wandering husband to show
with his $2 bimbo.
- Man, I'll tell ya...
- Myron, please.
- Just get to the point.
- Relax, will ya?
I told you I'd find her.
You found her?
Well, I found her trail, anyway.
A.J., I just tell
ya all the time.
It's a question of
a little experience.
I know, Myron, please.
Okay, okay.
A woman matching
your wife's description
checked into the Dunbar
about 4:30 in the morning.
Registers under a phony name.
What name?
Martin.
Rosalynd Martin.
Rosalynd Martin?
That's the woman that
Phoebe said committed su1c1de.
Yep, it sure is.
Well, the clerk at the
Dunbar said she checked out
about 8:00 this morning.
Said she was asking
about the nearest place
she could buy a g*n.
May I help you?
I'd like to see Mr. Rafelson.
I'm sorry, but Mr. Rafelson
is in conference.
He can't be disturbed.
I'll wait.
He won't be able to see
you without an appointment.
He'll see me.
Would you care to
give me your name?
- No.
- [phone rings]
Guy at the pawn shop
said he saw some sleaze
giving her your name.
No, I never saw this woman.
I run a legitimate
business here.
Do you want some ice cream?
Barry, you and I go
back a long way, right?
Yeah. Yeah, a long ways.
Yeah. And you know how I feel
about your legitimate
business, don't ya?
Well, what we got here, you see,
is a very disturbed woman
who probably could do
herself a great deal of harm.
Now, I know that
you didn't see her,
and you didn't sell her a g*n.
But, uh, tell me something, now.
Ow.
Which way was she
headed when she left?
[Barry coughs]
The same direction
as your cigar.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
On foot, about an hour ago.
Good to see you again.
Better split up.
Chances are, she's wandering
around the streets in a daze.
With a g*n.
Look, why don't you have Myron
and Bob cruise the area downtown
from 8th Street to F.
You go west, I'll go east.
Roger.
[typewriter clacking]
[thunder]
Wait! You can't go in there.
What's going on
here? Who is this?
I'm sorry. I'll get security.
Stop it.
Don't pretend you
don't know who I am.
I'll get right back to you.
I'm sorry, have we
met someplace?
Only at my husband's funeral.
The man you k*lled.
Now, really, I don't
know who you are, but...
Why are you playing
this stupid game?
I'm Rosalynd Martin
and you know it.
You're no more
Rosalynd Martin than I am.
I've never seen
you before in my life.
You k*lled Frank.
You k*lled the only
man I've ever loved!
And now, I'm going to k*ll you.
[g*nshots]
[clicking]
Hey, what... What's
going on here?
Stop that woman!
I'll call the police.
No! No cops.
Everybody out of
here except Jerry.
Cleve, who was that woman?
Somebody who knows
about Frank Martin.
Blackmail?
Probably.
Damn it!
It's the worse possible
time to bring up
the Martin thing.
This could delay
Paseo Verde for years.
As well as sending
both of us to prison.
[phone beeps]
Yeah?
[Woman] Sorry, Mr. Rafelson.
Security lost her.
Okay.
I want you to find that woman
and I want you to k*ll her.
[tires screech]
Hey, Mrs. Carmichael!
Hey, hey, hey! Hold it. Hold it!
I'm a friend. Hey, Bob sent me.
Bob sent me. It's all right.
- Bob?
- Yeah.
Where's Bob?
Well, he wants me
to take you to him.
Oh, thank God.
No... Oh! Don't do that. Oh.
- That's her.
- Who's the guy?
I dunno, but if he
gets in the way...
Hey, don't tell me
my business, okay?
I know what has to be done.
If I have to waste him,
it won't cost you
that much extra.
Yeah, okay.
Doctor says that
mark on your face
looks like somebody,
you know, smacked ya.
I have no idea who
could have hit me.
From the minute
she left the hotel
until you guys
brought her in here,
she remembers
absolutely nothing.
Do you recall using the
name Rosalynd Martin?
No.
Mrs. Carmichael, are you aware
that you bought a g*n?
A g*n?
Well, that's gotta be a mistake.
Jodi is terrified of g*ns.
- Well...
- We'll see you later.
Mrs. Carmichael, you
get some rest, okay?
I'll be right back.
I'm gonna say
good-bye to them, honey.
I tell ya,
once that doctor says
she's all right to travel,
I'm taking her back
home to Michigan.
You don't wanna find
out what happened?
You bet I do.
But not at the further
risk to her health.
Jodi... Jodi had a
terrible experience
before she came out here.
And now, this.
I'm not ashamed
to tell you guys,
this whole thing's got
me scared to death.
Yeah, well, I can
understand that.
Anyway,
this, uh... This
should cover your fee
and expenses and a
little something extra
for the fabulous job
you did of getting
her back so fast.
- Well, thank you.
- Thank you.
We'll, uh...
We'll call before we leave, huh?
- Please do.
- Okay.
[Woman over P.A.]
Dr. Conlan, you're needed...
- Absolutely bizarre.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
A woman stays in a room
that's supposed to be haunted...
And wanders off in
the middle of the night.
Gets herself all b*at up.
What?
- You see that?
- See what?
That orderly that
just passed us.
Yeah, what about him?
He's wearing Grassi loafers.
- Wow.
- New ones.
What are Grassi loafers?
About $500 a pair.
[Rick] Hey.
Fella, wait up.
[g*nshots]
What happened?
That fire extinguisher
down there,
it just... it just
blew up all by itself.
Just, boom.
So, why didn't you
guys call the cops?
Because, Myron,
we've got a client
who cannot account
for 15 hours of her life.
Who has probably
bought an illegal w*apon.
Who is too upset
to talk to anybody,
much less the
police. That's why.
Look, right now we've got
a hospital security guard
on the door and we had to
give him a song and dance.
And he's leaving in ten minutes.
- So I inherit the job?
- Yeah.
Look, the woman's
life is in danger, Myron.
Don't you think
that's just a little bit
more important than
going to the racetrack?
All right, all
right. I'll do it.
But, you guys
gotta do me a favor.
You gotta get a
hold of Crazy Louie
and get me down for 20 to win
on Bonecrusher in the third.
You think you can
get that straight?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, now.
You want us to call Bonecrusher.
Ah, you want, uh, $3 on the nose
for Crazy Louie,
20th race, right?
- "Poyrfect."
- "Poyrfect."
- Now, wait a minute.
- Yeah.
Tomorrow morning,
when they release
the woman from the hospital,
you gonna send
her right on home.
- Uh...
- Not exactly.
Uh, we thought
we'd keep her here
you know, under wraps
until this whole
mess is cleared up.
Got a safe house picked
out for her and everything.
Now, you guys used
my place the last time.
Hey, hey, now come
on. Now, look, Myron.
It's the best safe
house we've got.
It's the only safe
house we've got.
Well, with some crazy
after them with a cannon,
the price just went up.
- Fifty. Yeah, yeah.
- Uh.
Fifty bucks a
day, plus the food,
plus a prorated
share of the rent.
- Now, wait.
- Okay.
Fine, and this time,
you guys explain the rules.
They can have anything
they want in the fridge
except the frozen
chocolate bars.
- Yeah, okay, okay.
- They're mine.
- Okay.
- Okay?
Booze is definitely off limits.
In the morning, no
flushing before 9.
- Yes, Myron.
- No toothpaste in the sink.
- All right.
- And no...
- [All] Long distance
phone calls.
- I gotcha. Okay.
- We'll check back with you
in about an hour, okay?
- Wait a minute.
- What?
If this was my case...
You'd have been fired
yesterday. Come on, let's go.
- Bonecrusher!
- I'll give him a call.
Bonecrusher.
Phoebe, tell us
again what you guys
talked about that night.
Well, I told you what I
said to Mrs. Carmichael.
Everything you said?
Now, come on.
You're an Aries. Aries
don't hold anything back.
Well, not quite.
I mean, you looked at
me like I was nuts, anyway,
- so I figured why bother?
- Bother.
I heard this story
from my friend Lucy,
who, um, was night
maid at the time.
Uh, Lucy found the Martin
woman in the bathtub.
She called for help and tried
to give first aid but she couldn't.
The Martin woman was hysterical,
blaming some man named Rafelson
for the death of her husband.
The Martin woman wanted
Lucy to go and get revenge for her.
She wanted Lucy to go down
to the Rafelson
Chemical building,
where her husband used to work,
and wipe this guy out for her.
And then, the paramedics came
and took the Martin woman away.
A heck of a story
to tell somebody
who just had a
nervous breakdown.
Look, please don't
tell anybody at the hotel
that I'm talking
about this, okay?
I'm in enough trouble already.
Oh?
Well, it's no big deal.
I mean, well... well...
I lied about some
references to get this job.
[whispers] I've never
worked as a maid before.
[whispers] Oh.
[whispers] We
never talked to you.
[whispering]
Thanks for your help.
- Yeah, bye.
- Bye.
- Well...
- [sighs]
We might have an idea
as to where Jerry went.
It's pretty thin.
It's all we got.
You know something, A.J.?
We ought to start
keeping track of this.
I mean, I wonder just how many
of these black
bag jobs like this
we've done in offices.
Well, I'm really glad
you brought that up, Rick.
I mean, now I can die happy.
No, wait a minute.
We might be missing
some sort of an
anniversary here.
If this were like,
number 500 say,
it'd be time for the
hats and the horns.
What?
- Boy.
- Ooh.
I wonder what kind of
a party they had here.
Looks like a real
sh**t 'em up, huh?
Glad I'm not the guest of honor.
[thunder]
- Here we go.
- What?
I've got Frank Martin's
employment history, here.
Well, don't keep it to yourself.
According to this,
he specialized in
waste management.
As in industrial waste?
Chemical waste,
nothing more specific.
I'll take a look.
What's interesting is
that somebody has done
a lot of extra
secretarial work on it.
Hmm.
Lot of whiting out, here.
Take a look at this.
I learned how to read backwards
when I used that little
pocket mirror to copy
Sheri Levinston's test
answers in the 4th grade.
Yeah, I remember that.
That was the test where
you said the capital of France
was Sirap.
[clears throat]
[speaks gibberish]
Supervisor, Paseo
Verde Development.
Paseo Verde is some land
that Rafelson is developing
as a real estate project.
Yeah, but nine years
ago, that same land
was under the supervision
of a waste disposal engineer.
- [door opens]
- Oh.
What the hell are you
doing here this late?
Ah, jeez.
Ah, jeez.
I told you we were
gonna get caught.
What?
I told you we shouldn't
have had the beers.
- [burps]
- That we'd be late.
Uh, mister, I'm real sorry.
Uh, this is our first
week on the job
and we...
It won't happen
again. We promise that.
Would you give
us a break, please?
All right. Just get
out of here, right now.
Ah, jeez. Thank you. Thank you.
Here, we're on our way.
Jerry, this is Cleve.
Those two detectives
that your thug said were hired
by the Carmichaels...
One of them blonde?
The other one got a mustache?
All right.
You tell that
hired thug of yours
to stay very, very
close to those two
because I think
they're gonna lead us
to what we've been looking for.
[A.J.] Uh-huh, okay.
Thank you very much,
Al. Hey, listen, Al,
you put Rick
down for two tickets
to that policeman's talent
show of yours, okay?
'Cause you know
how much he likes that.
Right.
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Bye-bye.
Okay, now three weeks
bef... Oh, come on.
Hey, you know you gotta
keep these guys happy.
Come on, come on.
Now three weeks
before Rosalynd Martin
committed su1c1de,
her husband, name of Frank,
was k*lled in an
automobile accident
over in Spring Valley.
Now, the police
suspected homicide.
But, they couldn't make a case.
Official cause of death,
vehicular accident.
So, maybe Frank
Martin got off'ed
because he tumbled on
some sort of shady dealings
- over at Rafelson Chemical.
- You got it.
Something like a
little real estate project
called Paseo Verde.
A project that
Rafelson didn't want
anybody to know that
Frank was involved in.
So, when Jodi shows up
calling herself Rosalynd Martin,
everybody gets very upset.
Upset enough to
want to have her k*lled.
Yeah, and us, too,
if we get in the way.
- What do you say
we get in the way?
- Okay.
Where we gonna
start getting in the way?
Well, Frank and Rosalynd Martin
used to have a house
over on Point Loma.
We'll go over there and see if
there's any next of kin living there.
Wanna call first, or
just kinda casually,
you know, drop by?
Let's just casually drop by.
[doorbell rings]
- Yes?
- Hi.
I'm A.J. Simon. This
is my brother, Rick.
- Hi.
- Hi.
We're private investigators.
Just what are you investigating?
Um, well the people
who used to live here...
We're investigating
the deaths of
Frank Martin and
his wife Rosalynd.
- Wrong.
- Wrong?
Wrong?
Rosalynd Martin isn't dead.
Not even close.
What makes you say that?
Because I'm Rosalynd Martin.
Ah.
I can certainly
understand your surprise.
At my being alive, that is.
If all the maid told you
was I cut my wrists...
[laughs softly]
I mean, people who
usually do that intend to die.
I know I did.
I just didn't do
a very good job.
Or maybe the people at
the emergency hospital
did a better one.
Anyway, here I am.
That night...
That night, you were
shouting something
about your husband
being m*rder*d.
I don't wanna talk about it.
It's taken me years of expensive
psychotherapy to get over
the hate and the
misunderstandings.
I won't have it stirred
up all over again.
Well, we can understand that.
But, right now,
there's another woman,
in a hospital with
people trying to k*ll her
and maybe us.
The only thing we're sure of
is that it's all
connected to you
and that night in room 3502.
I'm sorry to have to
ask you this, but please,
why did you think your
husband had been m*rder*d?
Because he d*ed
in a one car accident
and he was a
very careful driver.
You accused a man
named Rafelson.
Did you have any
proof that he did it?
I'm sorry.
I can't go on like this.
It all comes rushing back.
All the silly suspicions,
all the nightmares.
Rafelson did it.
If you wanna know more,
go talk to George Drayfus.
He believed me for awhile
and then he stopped.
Please, go now. Please.
Okay.
[both] I'm sorry.
[knocking]
George Drayfus?
- Yes.
- We're investigators.
We'd like a moment of your time.
Investigators?
You mean, uh, FBI?
- We didn't say that.
- You never heard us
say that.
Oh.
Of course.
Well, come in.
Thank you.
Hmm.
What?
I think the guy's okay.
You wanna talk, fella?
Well, sure. About what?
Paseo Verde.
And Frank Martin.
And Cleve Rafelson.
Could I see some ID?
Look, we already know
about the car crash
that k*lled Frank Martin.
You don't really
want to obstruct
a m*rder investigation, do you?
I didn't have anything
to do with that.
Then I suggest you talk.
All right.
Frank and I worked
for Cleve Rafelson.
We built Paseo Verde.
It was a chemical
waste disposal site.
We're aware of that.
Then, the new highway came in
and the land got
to be real valuable.
A couple years ago,
Rafelson filed
plans to build homes
in Paseo Verde.
On top of dangerous
chemical wastes?
No, no. At the other
end of Paseo Verde.
Miles away.
At least, that's what he said.
Did you have any
reason not to believe him?
Well, Frank was pretty sure
those homes were gonna be
where our dump site had been.
I thought so, too.
Cleve told us we were wrong.
- We checked it out on
the official maps.
- And?
And Cleve was right.
Those homes were gonna
be miles from the dump site.
But Frank wouldn't
leave it alone.
He figured that
map was a forgery.
I think he found the real map
and confronted
Rafelson with it, and...
And Rafelson k*lled him.
Do you have any proof of that?
No.
And I stopped trying to
prove it when Frank was k*lled.
I mean, I got the message,
if you know what I mean.
But I'll tell you one thing.
Frank was a careful man.
Before he took that
map to Rafelson,
he'd of copied it...
and stashed it
somewhere, just in case.
If you get my meaning.
So, have you talked to his wife?
We will.
Mr. Drayfus,
your government
appreciates this.
We'll be in touch.
No.
There were no maps in this house
or in his safe deposit box
or in his office.
I went through everything.
Behind everything,
inside everything.
I remember I was
looking for clues
to support my crazy theory.
Maybe it wasn't so crazy.
Did, um... Did you
have a summer home
- or a vacation house, or...
- No.
You're talking about land
survey maps, aren't you?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, there's probably a
harbor chart on our boat.
- Boat?
- Do you, um,
still have the boat?
I always will. It's funny.
The day before Frank's
accident, he told me,
"Ros, if anything ever happens,
"don't sell the boat.
Keep it and go fishing."
It was very strange.
Why was that strange?
Well, we weren't
fishermen, either of us.
I think he just
meant, hang onto it.
Have a good time.
Go on with your life.
Could be.
Where is the boat?
Fairhaven Marina, slip 9.
Only taken her out
a couple of times,
but never fishing.
Maybe I will someday.
[Rick groans]
I hope we don't have
to tear this tub down
to the waterline.
We won't.
Remember, he told his
wife he was going fishing.
Yeah, but that doesn't
have to mean anything.
I mean I've known
guys, hung a sign
on their office door
said, "Gone fishing."
Doesn't mean anything.
Means they're gone.
They're not there. That's all.
Yes, but this was a man
whose life was in danger.
He was trying to leave
his wife a message.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hey.
- What?
Ah-ha.
Ah-ha.
Ah-ha.
Think it might be
laminated in the rod, here?
Probably.
Let's try this first.
Oh yeah, the ol' map
in the fishing reel bit.
He had to make a copy, he
could've made a small copy.
Ahh.
- Ah, ha.
- Ah, ha, ha, ha.
Uh-huh.
'Kay... Oh, whoop, whoop, whoop.
Son of a g*n.
By George, I think we've got it.
[Man] I think we'll take it.
Did you say, "I
think we'll take it"?
Hi, guys.
You probably want us
to come out there, right?
- We give up.
- Yeah. Okay.
- Here you go.
- You get the map.
Okay, here we come.
Ooh!
Aah!
[Jodi] I wanna know
what happened.
I wanna know why.
Well, that's why we asked
Dr. Hammond to come along.
I thought she might be able to
answer some of those questions.
Dr. Hammond is a
clinical psychologist.
Oh, I'm not here to examine you.
I came to look at the room.
And I think I have a
possible explanation.
- Color.
- Color?
Color can have powerful
effects on people.
Uneasiness, irritability,
unusual behavior.
In your case, it's even possible
that it triggered
a su1c1de attempt.
I tried to k*ll myself
because they wouldn't believe
my husband was m*rder*d.
Not because of the
color of the room.
But it is possible
that in another room,
you wouldn't have
taken it that far.
And you, Jodi,
people are very
susceptible to suggestion.
They believe a place is haunted
if somebody says it's haunted.
And you were so vulnerable.
You'd recently lost your father.
Am I right in assuming
that he wasn't very old?
He was 53.
Didn't you feel it was unfair
that he d*ed at
such an early age?
It was unfair.
It was damned unfair.
I was cheated out
of my time with him.
And then the maid told you
a story about another woman
who was cheated
in a very similar way.
By the way, where is the maid?
She got fired.
Oh, it's okay, though.
She said the moon had
already gone into Libra,
so it was time for a change.
- Well.
- [laughs]
Can you think of a
better explanation?
No, I can't.
Thank you.
And thank you.
[Rick] Yeah.
Well, we're gonna
miss our plane.
And I'm gonna miss my seminar.
Thank you very
much, Dr. Hammond.
- Appreciate it.
- Thanks for everything, guys.
- Hmm.
- [sighs]
This is straight out
of The Twilight Zone.
I don't buy it.
It's the only
explanation we've got.
Do you believe all
that stuff about color?
I mean, uh, I like
the colors in here.
Well, you know,
on the other hand,
what do you know about color?
This morning, you put on one
blue sock and one brown sock.
Well, with boots it doesn't
matter a lot, now does it?
- Well, it does matter.
- What, you got X-ray vision?
- No, it's the principle
of the thing!
- Oh, come on, A.J...
Hey, hey, hey,
hey. Hold it, hold it.
- What?
- We're doing it again.
- Doing what?
- We're arguing.
Of course we're arguing.
You just insulted me.
- You insult me, we're gonna
have an argument.
- No.
Didn't you listen to Dr. Hammond?
She has written entire books
- on this very subject.
- Last night, I read a book
about a giant snake.
It ate Atlantic City.
- Now, does that make it true?
- That was a comic book!
You're right! We're
doing it again.
Hey, hey, hey. Not so fast.
the middle of the night last night.
- That room is haunted.
- Haunted?
[Announcer] Tonight,
on Simon & Simon...
What we got here, you see,
is a very disturbed woman.
Which way was she headed?
I'm going to k*ll you!
- FBI?
- You never heard us
say that.
It's all connected
to you and that night
in room 3502.
I came to look at the room.
- If there is nothing weird
about this room...
- If what?
Why are we yelling
at each other?
- Whoa.
- That's her.
If I have to waste him...
[g*n fires]
♪♪ [theme]
[Man] I'm sorry, we're full up.
It's the computer
software convention.
[Man #2] Uh, could you
suggest some place else?
I'm afraid it's the
same all over town, sir.
There might be something
available in Oceanside or Cardiff.
How far is that?
About 40 miles.
[sighs]
I don't think I can
make it another 40 miles.
We do have one room available.
- Room 3502, but uh...
- But what?
I don't think you'd like 3502.
Does it have a bed?
- Of course.
- We'd like it.
[bell rings] Front.
I don't know, honey.
This place seems
all right to me.
I'm sorry, I... I
guess we could have
done a little better if I'd
made a reservation, huh?
Oh, forget it, honey.
The trip was a sweet idea.
It's not your fault.
I'm still a little edgy.
I just want you to
relax and get better.
I hate to see you hurting.
[knocking]
They told me
somebody rented 3502
but I didn't believe
it 'til I saw it.
- We're, uh...
- Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael,
right?
I'm Phoebe.
Uh, no... Don't tell me.
Wait, no, no. Don't tell me.
Uh, Libra and
Capricorn, am I right?
[laughs] Well, it was easy.
Your auras are almost palpable.
I don't think I can handle this.
I mean maybe we've
got auras in Michigan,
but at least people have the
good sense not to mention it.
Where are you going?
To take a shower.
I'll be right back.
Honeymooners, huh?
Sort of.
We've, uh, been
married two years.
It's kind of a
second... Oh, I get it.
[sighs] Good.
I'd hate to think of anyone
spending their
first in this room.
Why?
What's wrong with it?
You don't know?
Oh, hey, I've only
worked here a month,
and part-time at that,
and I know all about it.
Okay...
You and Phoebe have a
real nice talk, did ya, hon?
She told me some
very interesting things.
And what did she tell you?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Do you, uh... You
wanna sleep on that side?
What are you talking about?
I always sleep on the left side.
Honey,
stop and think about
it for a minute, now.
Who answers the phone
when it rings at night?
And what side of the bed
is the phone on at home?
You always have to
be right, don't you?
All right, all my life
I've slept on the
right side of the bed,
and now I wanna
sleep on the left.
Any objections?
No.
Good morning.
Jodi?
Honey?
Excuse me.
Uh, I'm Mr. Carmichael, in 3502.
Did you happen to
see my wife come down
for breakfast this morning?
Your wife left the
hotel about 4 AM, sir.
What?
Walked right passed me
like she was on
some urgent mission.
I remember I asked,
did she want a cab.
She never turned to look at me.
I thought you knew.
[Sports Announcer] 50
seconds to go and counting.
Bogle gets off a
beauty of a kick.
Preston can't
afford the fair catch.
He grabs it on the
one and starts upfield.
Breaks free at the
15... Wow, hit at the 20
and the ball pops up in
the air and out of bounds.
[static]
[Woman] Marine operator
29, may I help you?
No.
No!
[Man] Uh, hi ya darlin'.
This is the motor
vessel, Hole in the Water.
Whiskey, Alpha, 2-0-4-1.
Yes, operator, this
is a third party call
to be billed to area
code 619-555-8896.
Just a moment, please.
Yes, ma'am. I'll
hold. Thank you.
[phone rings]
Hello?
Rick Simon is
billing a call to you...
Oh, yes, ma'am. That
charge will be just fine.
Thank you. Bye-bye.
Hi, Susie. I'm not
waking you, am I, love.
No, but I can hardly hear you.
Yeah, I know. It's
a lousy connection.
I'm having to use kind of, uh,
alternate equipment here.
A.J. put a lock on on
the telephone again.
- Hang on, honey.
- [door slams]
Hiya, neighbor. ¿Qué pasa?
Ooh. Little trouble with
the TV reception, huh?
[heavy breathing]
I can deal with having
you guys for neighbors.
Uh-huh.
Did I say anything
when that b*mb went off
- in the canal two months ago?
- No, you didn't. No.
What about those
two guys in gray suits
who keep driving their
car all over my lawn?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Do I complain?
No, no, you don't.
Also, I didn't get to thank you
for the coffee and doughnuts
during the hostage situation.
I'll get back to you,
Susie, okay? Bye-bye.
Can't you organize
your love life
so you won't destroy
the entire neighborhood's
communication with
the outside world?
Ah, geez... The Charger game.
It's their last chance
for a playoff berth.
I'm sor... Here, be my guest.
There you go.
[Announcer] Surely,
the most incredible play,
the most bizarre ending,
in the history of
American football.
Thanks for listening.
We now join Capital
Cloakroom in progress.
Mr. Gormin, I'm just as
sorry as I can be about this.
I, uh... I just...
Mr. Gormin, Mr. Gormin?
Listen, you know what
I'd do if I were you?
I'd really check in
to getting the cable.
- You know what I mean? That way you...
- Hi, Mr. Gormin.
[mumbling]
He had a little problem
with his TV set and...
If you are quite through
antagonizing our neighbors,
I would like you to
meet a new client.
Bob Carmichael, this
is my brother, Rick.
- Hi, Rick.
- Bob.
Nice to meet ya.
Jodi's father passed
away about five weeks ago,
and she had a...
kind of a breakdown.
So, I suggested a vacation,
a change of scene.
And here we are.
Well, could anything
have happened
to upset her and to
trigger another breakdown?
No.
Had a little trouble
getting a room.
And we had a
stupid fight last night
about absolutely nothing.
She's... She's just
tired from the trip.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know?
Good morning, Mr. Carmichael.
Is everything okay in the room?
Not really.
Oh, uh, wait. The maid.
Phoebe!
She talked to my wife last night
while I was in the shower.
- Phoebe?
- Yes, Mr. Carmichael?
Did you talk to Mrs.
Carmichael last night?
- Well...
- What did you talk about?
Uh, it's all right, Phoebe.
Uh, these men are
private detectives.
Mrs. Carmichael disappeared
in the middle of
the night last night.
Oh. Hi.
I bet you're really
good detectives.
Gemini and Pisces,
very observant.
Uh-huh.
I'm not a Pisces.
Did you talk to her?
Of course I did.
I'm Aries.
We never hold anything back.
What was it you
didn't hold back?
About the room.
It's haunted.
- Haunted?
- It... Haunted?
A couple of years back,
a woman named Rosalynd
Martin checked into that room.
At 6:00 in the morning
she started screaming
about her husband
being m*rder*d.
By the time they
got into the room,
she'd slit her wrists.
And you told my wife that?
I told her the truth.
That room is haunted.
I mean, nobody's had a
decent night's sleep in there
since it happened.
I mean, the management
doesn't necessarily
go around advertising that
we've got a haunted room.
But, they're certainly
never in any rush to rent it.
Not that there are a
lot of folks wanting it.
But, I mean, once
the word got around...
Oh, um, listen.
You guys aren't gonna
tell the night manager,
um, like what I said, are you?
I mean, they don't
like me to, well...
He'd probably just say
I was a blabbermouth.
Well, he'd probably
say anything.
[A.J.] Don't worry,
we won't tell him.
I won't either.
I don't wanna get
you in trouble, Phoebe.
[sighs]
I just wanna get my wife back.
The thought of her
alone in a strange city...
She's so innocent.
This ought to do the job.
- I'll take it.
- Not so fast.
You'll have to fill
out this form, first.
You can pick up
your piece in 15 days.
Fifteen days? Why?
It's the law.
State has to have
time to check you out,
see if you have some
kind of felony record.
I can't wait 15 days.
Then, I can't sell you the g*n.
- Hey, miss.
- What?
You wanna buy... You
wanna buy a g*n, fast?
Yeah.
Twenty bucks'll get you a name.
What are you looking
for, ectoplasm?
- Say what?
- Ectoplasm.
You know, the stuff that
ghosts are made out of?
The stuff that's
under the sheets.
I mean, you don't buy this
haunted room garbage, do ya?
Well, there's something
funny about this room, though.
Well, what are you looking for?
You could help!
Well, I can't help
if you don't tell me
what it is you're looking for!
Fine, try this.
Now, here's Jodi.
According to the husband,
this, uh, this young innocent
from Ishpeming, Michigan.
I mean, she probably had
a beer on grad night, right?
Probably doesn't
even smoke tobacco.
What are you getting at?
Now, Phoebe comes
up, gets her all upset,
she wakes up in the
middle of the night.
Now, let's suppose
that the last
tenant in this place
left something just a
tad illegal here, all right?
Now, Jodi gets up,
and I don't know why,
but she smokes it or
she... she... she swallows it
or snorts it. Is that
real enough for ya?
No, it's the most ridiculous
thing I've ever heard in my life!
- Did you find a stash?
- No, I didn't find a stash!
But there's something else here!
What? Make it good!
- If there is nothing weird
about this room...
- Yeah, what?
Why are we yelling at each
other for no good reason?
[seagulls screech]
[Man] Hi, how you doing?
I'm looking for Mr. Fortune.
Ah, good.
The approach.
You can tell a lot about the
person from his approach.
Are you interested
in some ice cream?
No, I'm interested in a g*n.
Whoa. "w*apon," please.
It's a good word,
descended from the Norse "vápn."
Hey, God, those Norsemen
sure had a lot of
hair, didn't they?
Oh, how did you get my name?
A guy outside a pawn
shop on West 15th.
Uh-huh.
And how do I know that
you're sincere in this?
Well, the time was,
you could tell a cop
by the smell of his
loafers, but no more.
Insincerity, artifice.
I'm not a cop, for God's sake!
All I want is a damn g*n.
Why should that be so hard?
Look, I've got 200 in cash.
What'll it get me?
[chuckles] You're in luck.
We're having a sale.
What do you recommend?
Well, it's not often I get
to give consumer advice.
Uh, here, here.
Take the Enfield.
- I think you'll be amused
by its pretension.
- Thanks.
Oh, and by the way, my dear,
uh, I'd advise you to keep
the w*apon in one place
and the a*mo close by.
That way, if you have
to protect your house...
I'm not interested in
protecting my house.
I have other plans.
Hi, Mrs. Mitchell?
- Hi.
- Yes?
I'm A.J. Simon. This
is my brother, Rick.
We spoke to you on
the phone, remember?
Oh, yes, of course. How are you?
Uh, hello, Rick.
Why don't you come inside.
Do you mind helping
me with these plants?
- Oh, no, not at all.
- Sure.
[Rick]
- Uh, here. You take that.
- Thank you.
You said that I
was the last person
- to stay in room 3502?
- Yes, ma'am.
Until last night.
But, my husband
and I stayed there
over eight months ago.
Yeah, the Del... Thank you.
The Del doesn't
normally rent that room.
Well, I can certainly
understand why.
There's something
very disturbing
about room 3502.
The first night we were there,
I had the worst
nightmares I've ever had
in my entire life.
I can't even remember
what I dreamt about.
It's just that I know I
was scared half to death.
And my husband,
he had exactly the
same experience.
So, in the middle of the night,
we just packed up our bags
and got the hell
out of that room.
Is it possible that
you might have...
Well, that you
might have left, uh...
say, some medicine?
Oh, you mean stash?
Yes, ma'am.
Look, I certainly don't
need anything artificial
to enhance my life.
But, if I did,
I sure wouldn't leave
it in some hotel room.
Told you it was a dumb question.
But that room was a
totally different kind of trip.
[sighs]
If I didn't know
better, I would swear...
Swear what, Mrs. Mitchell?
That that room was haunted.
Excuse me.
Could you tell me where
the Rafelson
Chemical building is?
Yeah, I can do better
than that, Sugar.
I'm going right passed there.
Can I, uh, give you a lift?
Come on, I don't bite.
Not right off,
anyway. [chuckles]
Uh, my name is Wayne.
I'm Rosalynd.
Yeah, I bet all your
friends call you Rosy, huh?
I don't know.
Yeah, right.
Uh, so, is that a
wedding ring I see there?
My husband's dead.
Oh, hey, I'm real
sorry to hear that.
Hey, you know who you look like?
That TV actress with
her own series, huh?
You know who I mean.
No, the only TV
I've been watching
are the Watergate hearings.
The Watergate hearings?
I think it's disgraceful
that a President
of the United States should
be involved in that way.
I hope they impeach
him, don't you?
[tires squeal]
Jerk.
Man, I'll tell ya, all
this hotel hopping
brings back a lot of memories.
The Hotel Dunbar,
now there's a class joint.
You know, I used to spend hours
in the linen room on the third floor
waiting for some
wandering husband to show
with his $2 bimbo.
- Man, I'll tell ya...
- Myron, please.
- Just get to the point.
- Relax, will ya?
I told you I'd find her.
You found her?
Well, I found her trail, anyway.
A.J., I just tell
ya all the time.
It's a question of
a little experience.
I know, Myron, please.
Okay, okay.
A woman matching
your wife's description
checked into the Dunbar
about 4:30 in the morning.
Registers under a phony name.
What name?
Martin.
Rosalynd Martin.
Rosalynd Martin?
That's the woman that
Phoebe said committed su1c1de.
Yep, it sure is.
Well, the clerk at the
Dunbar said she checked out
about 8:00 this morning.
Said she was asking
about the nearest place
she could buy a g*n.
May I help you?
I'd like to see Mr. Rafelson.
I'm sorry, but Mr. Rafelson
is in conference.
He can't be disturbed.
I'll wait.
He won't be able to see
you without an appointment.
He'll see me.
Would you care to
give me your name?
- No.
- [phone rings]
Guy at the pawn shop
said he saw some sleaze
giving her your name.
No, I never saw this woman.
I run a legitimate
business here.
Do you want some ice cream?
Barry, you and I go
back a long way, right?
Yeah. Yeah, a long ways.
Yeah. And you know how I feel
about your legitimate
business, don't ya?
Well, what we got here, you see,
is a very disturbed woman
who probably could do
herself a great deal of harm.
Now, I know that
you didn't see her,
and you didn't sell her a g*n.
But, uh, tell me something, now.
Ow.
Which way was she
headed when she left?
[Barry coughs]
The same direction
as your cigar.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
On foot, about an hour ago.
Good to see you again.
Better split up.
Chances are, she's wandering
around the streets in a daze.
With a g*n.
Look, why don't you have Myron
and Bob cruise the area downtown
from 8th Street to F.
You go west, I'll go east.
Roger.
[typewriter clacking]
[thunder]
Wait! You can't go in there.
What's going on
here? Who is this?
I'm sorry. I'll get security.
Stop it.
Don't pretend you
don't know who I am.
I'll get right back to you.
I'm sorry, have we
met someplace?
Only at my husband's funeral.
The man you k*lled.
Now, really, I don't
know who you are, but...
Why are you playing
this stupid game?
I'm Rosalynd Martin
and you know it.
You're no more
Rosalynd Martin than I am.
I've never seen
you before in my life.
You k*lled Frank.
You k*lled the only
man I've ever loved!
And now, I'm going to k*ll you.
[g*nshots]
[clicking]
Hey, what... What's
going on here?
Stop that woman!
I'll call the police.
No! No cops.
Everybody out of
here except Jerry.
Cleve, who was that woman?
Somebody who knows
about Frank Martin.
Blackmail?
Probably.
Damn it!
It's the worse possible
time to bring up
the Martin thing.
This could delay
Paseo Verde for years.
As well as sending
both of us to prison.
[phone beeps]
Yeah?
[Woman] Sorry, Mr. Rafelson.
Security lost her.
Okay.
I want you to find that woman
and I want you to k*ll her.
[tires screech]
Hey, Mrs. Carmichael!
Hey, hey, hey! Hold it. Hold it!
I'm a friend. Hey, Bob sent me.
Bob sent me. It's all right.
- Bob?
- Yeah.
Where's Bob?
Well, he wants me
to take you to him.
Oh, thank God.
No... Oh! Don't do that. Oh.
- That's her.
- Who's the guy?
I dunno, but if he
gets in the way...
Hey, don't tell me
my business, okay?
I know what has to be done.
If I have to waste him,
it won't cost you
that much extra.
Yeah, okay.
Doctor says that
mark on your face
looks like somebody,
you know, smacked ya.
I have no idea who
could have hit me.
From the minute
she left the hotel
until you guys
brought her in here,
she remembers
absolutely nothing.
Do you recall using the
name Rosalynd Martin?
No.
Mrs. Carmichael, are you aware
that you bought a g*n?
A g*n?
Well, that's gotta be a mistake.
Jodi is terrified of g*ns.
- Well...
- We'll see you later.
Mrs. Carmichael, you
get some rest, okay?
I'll be right back.
I'm gonna say
good-bye to them, honey.
I tell ya,
once that doctor says
she's all right to travel,
I'm taking her back
home to Michigan.
You don't wanna find
out what happened?
You bet I do.
But not at the further
risk to her health.
Jodi... Jodi had a
terrible experience
before she came out here.
And now, this.
I'm not ashamed
to tell you guys,
this whole thing's got
me scared to death.
Yeah, well, I can
understand that.
Anyway,
this, uh... This
should cover your fee
and expenses and a
little something extra
for the fabulous job
you did of getting
her back so fast.
- Well, thank you.
- Thank you.
We'll, uh...
We'll call before we leave, huh?
- Please do.
- Okay.
[Woman over P.A.]
Dr. Conlan, you're needed...
- Absolutely bizarre.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
A woman stays in a room
that's supposed to be haunted...
And wanders off in
the middle of the night.
Gets herself all b*at up.
What?
- You see that?
- See what?
That orderly that
just passed us.
Yeah, what about him?
He's wearing Grassi loafers.
- Wow.
- New ones.
What are Grassi loafers?
About $500 a pair.
[Rick] Hey.
Fella, wait up.
[g*nshots]
What happened?
That fire extinguisher
down there,
it just... it just
blew up all by itself.
Just, boom.
So, why didn't you
guys call the cops?
Because, Myron,
we've got a client
who cannot account
for 15 hours of her life.
Who has probably
bought an illegal w*apon.
Who is too upset
to talk to anybody,
much less the
police. That's why.
Look, right now we've got
a hospital security guard
on the door and we had to
give him a song and dance.
And he's leaving in ten minutes.
- So I inherit the job?
- Yeah.
Look, the woman's
life is in danger, Myron.
Don't you think
that's just a little bit
more important than
going to the racetrack?
All right, all
right. I'll do it.
But, you guys
gotta do me a favor.
You gotta get a
hold of Crazy Louie
and get me down for 20 to win
on Bonecrusher in the third.
You think you can
get that straight?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, now.
You want us to call Bonecrusher.
Ah, you want, uh, $3 on the nose
for Crazy Louie,
20th race, right?
- "Poyrfect."
- "Poyrfect."
- Now, wait a minute.
- Yeah.
Tomorrow morning,
when they release
the woman from the hospital,
you gonna send
her right on home.
- Uh...
- Not exactly.
Uh, we thought
we'd keep her here
you know, under wraps
until this whole
mess is cleared up.
Got a safe house picked
out for her and everything.
Now, you guys used
my place the last time.
Hey, hey, now come
on. Now, look, Myron.
It's the best safe
house we've got.
It's the only safe
house we've got.
Well, with some crazy
after them with a cannon,
the price just went up.
- Fifty. Yeah, yeah.
- Uh.
Fifty bucks a
day, plus the food,
plus a prorated
share of the rent.
- Now, wait.
- Okay.
Fine, and this time,
you guys explain the rules.
They can have anything
they want in the fridge
except the frozen
chocolate bars.
- Yeah, okay, okay.
- They're mine.
- Okay.
- Okay?
Booze is definitely off limits.
In the morning, no
flushing before 9.
- Yes, Myron.
- No toothpaste in the sink.
- All right.
- And no...
- [All] Long distance
phone calls.
- I gotcha. Okay.
- We'll check back with you
in about an hour, okay?
- Wait a minute.
- What?
If this was my case...
You'd have been fired
yesterday. Come on, let's go.
- Bonecrusher!
- I'll give him a call.
Bonecrusher.
Phoebe, tell us
again what you guys
talked about that night.
Well, I told you what I
said to Mrs. Carmichael.
Everything you said?
Now, come on.
You're an Aries. Aries
don't hold anything back.
Well, not quite.
I mean, you looked at
me like I was nuts, anyway,
- so I figured why bother?
- Bother.
I heard this story
from my friend Lucy,
who, um, was night
maid at the time.
Uh, Lucy found the Martin
woman in the bathtub.
She called for help and tried
to give first aid but she couldn't.
The Martin woman was hysterical,
blaming some man named Rafelson
for the death of her husband.
The Martin woman wanted
Lucy to go and get revenge for her.
She wanted Lucy to go down
to the Rafelson
Chemical building,
where her husband used to work,
and wipe this guy out for her.
And then, the paramedics came
and took the Martin woman away.
A heck of a story
to tell somebody
who just had a
nervous breakdown.
Look, please don't
tell anybody at the hotel
that I'm talking
about this, okay?
I'm in enough trouble already.
Oh?
Well, it's no big deal.
I mean, well... well...
I lied about some
references to get this job.
[whispers] I've never
worked as a maid before.
[whispers] Oh.
[whispers] We
never talked to you.
[whispering]
Thanks for your help.
- Yeah, bye.
- Bye.
- Well...
- [sighs]
We might have an idea
as to where Jerry went.
It's pretty thin.
It's all we got.
You know something, A.J.?
We ought to start
keeping track of this.
I mean, I wonder just how many
of these black
bag jobs like this
we've done in offices.
Well, I'm really glad
you brought that up, Rick.
I mean, now I can die happy.
No, wait a minute.
We might be missing
some sort of an
anniversary here.
If this were like,
number 500 say,
it'd be time for the
hats and the horns.
What?
- Boy.
- Ooh.
I wonder what kind of
a party they had here.
Looks like a real
sh**t 'em up, huh?
Glad I'm not the guest of honor.
[thunder]
- Here we go.
- What?
I've got Frank Martin's
employment history, here.
Well, don't keep it to yourself.
According to this,
he specialized in
waste management.
As in industrial waste?
Chemical waste,
nothing more specific.
I'll take a look.
What's interesting is
that somebody has done
a lot of extra
secretarial work on it.
Hmm.
Lot of whiting out, here.
Take a look at this.
I learned how to read backwards
when I used that little
pocket mirror to copy
Sheri Levinston's test
answers in the 4th grade.
Yeah, I remember that.
That was the test where
you said the capital of France
was Sirap.
[clears throat]
[speaks gibberish]
Supervisor, Paseo
Verde Development.
Paseo Verde is some land
that Rafelson is developing
as a real estate project.
Yeah, but nine years
ago, that same land
was under the supervision
of a waste disposal engineer.
- [door opens]
- Oh.
What the hell are you
doing here this late?
Ah, jeez.
Ah, jeez.
I told you we were
gonna get caught.
What?
I told you we shouldn't
have had the beers.
- [burps]
- That we'd be late.
Uh, mister, I'm real sorry.
Uh, this is our first
week on the job
and we...
It won't happen
again. We promise that.
Would you give
us a break, please?
All right. Just get
out of here, right now.
Ah, jeez. Thank you. Thank you.
Here, we're on our way.
Jerry, this is Cleve.
Those two detectives
that your thug said were hired
by the Carmichaels...
One of them blonde?
The other one got a mustache?
All right.
You tell that
hired thug of yours
to stay very, very
close to those two
because I think
they're gonna lead us
to what we've been looking for.
[A.J.] Uh-huh, okay.
Thank you very much,
Al. Hey, listen, Al,
you put Rick
down for two tickets
to that policeman's talent
show of yours, okay?
'Cause you know
how much he likes that.
Right.
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Bye-bye.
Okay, now three weeks
bef... Oh, come on.
Hey, you know you gotta
keep these guys happy.
Come on, come on.
Now three weeks
before Rosalynd Martin
committed su1c1de,
her husband, name of Frank,
was k*lled in an
automobile accident
over in Spring Valley.
Now, the police
suspected homicide.
But, they couldn't make a case.
Official cause of death,
vehicular accident.
So, maybe Frank
Martin got off'ed
because he tumbled on
some sort of shady dealings
- over at Rafelson Chemical.
- You got it.
Something like a
little real estate project
called Paseo Verde.
A project that
Rafelson didn't want
anybody to know that
Frank was involved in.
So, when Jodi shows up
calling herself Rosalynd Martin,
everybody gets very upset.
Upset enough to
want to have her k*lled.
Yeah, and us, too,
if we get in the way.
- What do you say
we get in the way?
- Okay.
Where we gonna
start getting in the way?
Well, Frank and Rosalynd Martin
used to have a house
over on Point Loma.
We'll go over there and see if
there's any next of kin living there.
Wanna call first, or
just kinda casually,
you know, drop by?
Let's just casually drop by.
[doorbell rings]
- Yes?
- Hi.
I'm A.J. Simon. This
is my brother, Rick.
- Hi.
- Hi.
We're private investigators.
Just what are you investigating?
Um, well the people
who used to live here...
We're investigating
the deaths of
Frank Martin and
his wife Rosalynd.
- Wrong.
- Wrong?
Wrong?
Rosalynd Martin isn't dead.
Not even close.
What makes you say that?
Because I'm Rosalynd Martin.
Ah.
I can certainly
understand your surprise.
At my being alive, that is.
If all the maid told you
was I cut my wrists...
[laughs softly]
I mean, people who
usually do that intend to die.
I know I did.
I just didn't do
a very good job.
Or maybe the people at
the emergency hospital
did a better one.
Anyway, here I am.
That night...
That night, you were
shouting something
about your husband
being m*rder*d.
I don't wanna talk about it.
It's taken me years of expensive
psychotherapy to get over
the hate and the
misunderstandings.
I won't have it stirred
up all over again.
Well, we can understand that.
But, right now,
there's another woman,
in a hospital with
people trying to k*ll her
and maybe us.
The only thing we're sure of
is that it's all
connected to you
and that night in room 3502.
I'm sorry to have to
ask you this, but please,
why did you think your
husband had been m*rder*d?
Because he d*ed
in a one car accident
and he was a
very careful driver.
You accused a man
named Rafelson.
Did you have any
proof that he did it?
I'm sorry.
I can't go on like this.
It all comes rushing back.
All the silly suspicions,
all the nightmares.
Rafelson did it.
If you wanna know more,
go talk to George Drayfus.
He believed me for awhile
and then he stopped.
Please, go now. Please.
Okay.
[both] I'm sorry.
[knocking]
George Drayfus?
- Yes.
- We're investigators.
We'd like a moment of your time.
Investigators?
You mean, uh, FBI?
- We didn't say that.
- You never heard us
say that.
Oh.
Of course.
Well, come in.
Thank you.
Hmm.
What?
I think the guy's okay.
You wanna talk, fella?
Well, sure. About what?
Paseo Verde.
And Frank Martin.
And Cleve Rafelson.
Could I see some ID?
Look, we already know
about the car crash
that k*lled Frank Martin.
You don't really
want to obstruct
a m*rder investigation, do you?
I didn't have anything
to do with that.
Then I suggest you talk.
All right.
Frank and I worked
for Cleve Rafelson.
We built Paseo Verde.
It was a chemical
waste disposal site.
We're aware of that.
Then, the new highway came in
and the land got
to be real valuable.
A couple years ago,
Rafelson filed
plans to build homes
in Paseo Verde.
On top of dangerous
chemical wastes?
No, no. At the other
end of Paseo Verde.
Miles away.
At least, that's what he said.
Did you have any
reason not to believe him?
Well, Frank was pretty sure
those homes were gonna be
where our dump site had been.
I thought so, too.
Cleve told us we were wrong.
- We checked it out on
the official maps.
- And?
And Cleve was right.
Those homes were gonna
be miles from the dump site.
But Frank wouldn't
leave it alone.
He figured that
map was a forgery.
I think he found the real map
and confronted
Rafelson with it, and...
And Rafelson k*lled him.
Do you have any proof of that?
No.
And I stopped trying to
prove it when Frank was k*lled.
I mean, I got the message,
if you know what I mean.
But I'll tell you one thing.
Frank was a careful man.
Before he took that
map to Rafelson,
he'd of copied it...
and stashed it
somewhere, just in case.
If you get my meaning.
So, have you talked to his wife?
We will.
Mr. Drayfus,
your government
appreciates this.
We'll be in touch.
No.
There were no maps in this house
or in his safe deposit box
or in his office.
I went through everything.
Behind everything,
inside everything.
I remember I was
looking for clues
to support my crazy theory.
Maybe it wasn't so crazy.
Did, um... Did you
have a summer home
- or a vacation house, or...
- No.
You're talking about land
survey maps, aren't you?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, there's probably a
harbor chart on our boat.
- Boat?
- Do you, um,
still have the boat?
I always will. It's funny.
The day before Frank's
accident, he told me,
"Ros, if anything ever happens,
"don't sell the boat.
Keep it and go fishing."
It was very strange.
Why was that strange?
Well, we weren't
fishermen, either of us.
I think he just
meant, hang onto it.
Have a good time.
Go on with your life.
Could be.
Where is the boat?
Fairhaven Marina, slip 9.
Only taken her out
a couple of times,
but never fishing.
Maybe I will someday.
[Rick groans]
I hope we don't have
to tear this tub down
to the waterline.
We won't.
Remember, he told his
wife he was going fishing.
Yeah, but that doesn't
have to mean anything.
I mean I've known
guys, hung a sign
on their office door
said, "Gone fishing."
Doesn't mean anything.
Means they're gone.
They're not there. That's all.
Yes, but this was a man
whose life was in danger.
He was trying to leave
his wife a message.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hey.
- What?
Ah-ha.
Ah-ha.
Ah-ha.
Think it might be
laminated in the rod, here?
Probably.
Let's try this first.
Oh yeah, the ol' map
in the fishing reel bit.
He had to make a copy, he
could've made a small copy.
Ahh.
- Ah, ha.
- Ah, ha, ha, ha.
Uh-huh.
'Kay... Oh, whoop, whoop, whoop.
Son of a g*n.
By George, I think we've got it.
[Man] I think we'll take it.
Did you say, "I
think we'll take it"?
Hi, guys.
You probably want us
to come out there, right?
- We give up.
- Yeah. Okay.
- Here you go.
- You get the map.
Okay, here we come.
Ooh!
Aah!
[Jodi] I wanna know
what happened.
I wanna know why.
Well, that's why we asked
Dr. Hammond to come along.
I thought she might be able to
answer some of those questions.
Dr. Hammond is a
clinical psychologist.
Oh, I'm not here to examine you.
I came to look at the room.
And I think I have a
possible explanation.
- Color.
- Color?
Color can have powerful
effects on people.
Uneasiness, irritability,
unusual behavior.
In your case, it's even possible
that it triggered
a su1c1de attempt.
I tried to k*ll myself
because they wouldn't believe
my husband was m*rder*d.
Not because of the
color of the room.
But it is possible
that in another room,
you wouldn't have
taken it that far.
And you, Jodi,
people are very
susceptible to suggestion.
They believe a place is haunted
if somebody says it's haunted.
And you were so vulnerable.
You'd recently lost your father.
Am I right in assuming
that he wasn't very old?
He was 53.
Didn't you feel it was unfair
that he d*ed at
such an early age?
It was unfair.
It was damned unfair.
I was cheated out
of my time with him.
And then the maid told you
a story about another woman
who was cheated
in a very similar way.
By the way, where is the maid?
She got fired.
Oh, it's okay, though.
She said the moon had
already gone into Libra,
so it was time for a change.
- Well.
- [laughs]
Can you think of a
better explanation?
No, I can't.
Thank you.
And thank you.
[Rick] Yeah.
Well, we're gonna
miss our plane.
And I'm gonna miss my seminar.
Thank you very
much, Dr. Hammond.
- Appreciate it.
- Thanks for everything, guys.
- Hmm.
- [sighs]
This is straight out
of The Twilight Zone.
I don't buy it.
It's the only
explanation we've got.
Do you believe all
that stuff about color?
I mean, uh, I like
the colors in here.
Well, you know,
on the other hand,
what do you know about color?
This morning, you put on one
blue sock and one brown sock.
Well, with boots it doesn't
matter a lot, now does it?
- Well, it does matter.
- What, you got X-ray vision?
- No, it's the principle
of the thing!
- Oh, come on, A.J...
Hey, hey, hey,
hey. Hold it, hold it.
- What?
- We're doing it again.
- Doing what?
- We're arguing.
Of course we're arguing.
You just insulted me.
- You insult me, we're gonna
have an argument.
- No.
Didn't you listen to Dr. Hammond?
She has written entire books
- on this very subject.
- Last night, I read a book
about a giant snake.
It ate Atlantic City.
- Now, does that make it true?
- That was a comic book!
You're right! We're
doing it again.
Hey, hey, hey. Not so fast.