01x10 - Vital Signs

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "White Collar". Aired: October 2009 to December 2014.*

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01x10 - Vital Signs

Post by bunniefuu »

Scenery. fresh air.

Just about everything I couldn't get at my last address.

Byron loved the park, too...

For very much the same reason.

Hmm.

You do like bad boys.

Samantha is pretty good.

Yes, she is.

Here she comes.

Oh, grandma june, did you see?

Yes, I did, and you were wonderful.

I'm gonna go again. watch!

Okay, i'm watching. go get 'em.

Your granddaughter doesn't look sick.

Not today.

Samantha was taken off of the donors list last week.

What can I do?

Morning...

Neal.

Hope you don't mind -- let myself in.

I mind.

You guys having breakfast?

Yeah, we're having breakfast. yeah.

It's a crazy ritual i'm sort of fond of.

You want to know why?

'cause you love the free toys.

Because breakfast doesn't involve you.

See, every morning, I sit at my dining table With my lovely wife and my delicious cereal And no thoughts of neal caffrey.

This says it has a free sheriff's badge. did you get it already?

El, do something.

Do you want a bowl with that cereal?

Thank you. manners.

That's not what I had in mind.

Why are you here?

I'm here 'cause of june.

June owns the house neal lives in.

I know who june is.

Her granddaughter needs a kidney, But she was bumped from the transplant list last week.

Why? I don't know.

But a few days ago, a woman approached june And said her organization could help find a kidney For her granddaughter.

A lot of charities do that.

Yeah, but she asked for a donation...

Of $100,000.

100 grand?

Look at you, bringing me a case.

Well, it's what us lawmen do.

Okay, i'm interested.

Talk to june, get me specifics.

So I can run with it?

"run with it"? no, barney fife.

No, you can walk very slowly, As long as you don't interrupt my breakfast again.

Gotcha.

Enjoy your meal.

Uh, neal...

Remember, that's not real.

Those were his words? "run with it"?

More or less.

I'm assuming "less."

Peter told me to get specifics.

I can't do that until I meet the charity's representative, Which is why I set up a face-to-face, As june's financial adviser.

Who's the representative?

Melissa calloway.

The charity's called hearts wide open.

That is truly menacing.

If I made a horror movie, I would definitely call it " hearts wide open."

Right on time.

Already I don't trust this woman.

Because she drove here?

A new yorker who does not take the subway Is not a new yorker you can trust.

I don't take the subway.

Precisely.

Ooh, she left her briefcase in the back.

All right, moz, I need a favor.

Break into her car.

That's not so much a favor as a truly horrible idea.

It's 1:00 in the afternoon.

There's a reason most crimes happen at night --

People can't see you!

All right, fine, fine. i'll do it.

Uh, you have a meeting.

no. you have a meeting.

This is for june, remember?

I need a tie.

Ask about the charity, how it works.

More importantly, how the money works.

Buy me 20 minutes.

Since when am I a people person?

Just do what i'd do.

Good morning.

Good day.

Great!

Just great.

What's going on here?

Oh, officer, hi. can you give me a hand here?

I locked my briefcase in my car.

And, of course, my wife grabbed the wrong keys again.

You got i.d. that proves this is your car?

Oh, yes, sir. yes, sir.

It's in the glove box right here.

Damn it! I got to be at the courthouse in 20 minutes.

You a lawyer? uh, prosecutor.

Arraigning this dirtbag who took a swing at a cop When he showed up on a domestic.

The guy hit a cop?

Right across the jaw.

This is yatsko.

I'm gonna need a patrol car right away.

As I said to june, Our organization saw what happened to samantha.

Bureaucracy often gets in the way of compassion.

We attempt to rectify that by finding a match.

But going around the national registry, Isn't that illegal?

Only if money exchanges hands.

We find donors willing to contribute Through the good samaritan law.

I am sure that there is someone Who will find samantha's case as compelling as we do.

And a donation is what helps to move things along.

We would never discourage anyone From helping us continue our work. oh, boy.

How much is a typical donation?

It varies.

B-ballpark it for me.

Anywhere from $100,000 to half a million.

H-how much time do we have to consider?

Not much, unfortunately.

There are only so many willing donors.

And there are many people in difficult situations.

Truer words.

You guys have no idea how much I appreciate this.

Anytime.

Hey, what was the name Of the arresting officer on your case?

Jones.

Jones. sixth precinct.

Jones?

Jones. you know a jones?

I know jones.

Of course you know jones.

Yeah. tough guy.

He could do something if he applied himself.

Yeah, that's him.

Real ball-buster.

Ah, great!

Let me just grab my i.d. for you.

No, you're good.

Are you sure? I got it right here.

Yeah, don't worry about it.

All right, we'll see you. i'm gonna get this guy for you.

All right. thanks.

All right.

Well, I hope i've answered all your questions...

...and then some.

But -- but --

Feel free to call if you have more.

Wait! uh, you haven't given me the chance to...

Ask you to dinner.

You're crazy.

crazy for you.

Uh, thank you, mr. honeycutt. that's fine.

Moz, don't worry. the cops are gone.

That's great. I hope you're done.

Not yet.

Well, then, get done.

You told me to do what you'd do, so I asked her to dinner.

What happened?

She left...running.

Tennis tournament.

Looked into hearts wide open.

Your friend melissa works for the charity's founder, Dr. wayne powell.

Runs a number of high-end medical clinics Across the east coast.

Very respectable kind of guy.

I wouldn't be so sure.

I talked to melissa.

I got some names.

Are they admissible?

Let me tell you a story.

That's really not necessary.

I had a c.i. once, local kid named jimmy burger.

Raised some money and opened a restaurant on fifth.

Let me guess -- he called it "jimmy's burgers."

No. "the burger joint"?

You done?

In order to stay in business, He had to do the mob some favors, But jimmy didn't like that.

So he came to us.

He helped us make some cases.

But then jimmy got cocky, Started sticking his nose where it didn't belong.

You know what happened?

It didn't end happily ever after?

No, he took one.

Right there.

Why are you telling me this?

Because jimmy burger is an example of what happens When you try running the show on your own.

Don't. neal.

Here's the info on those names you asked me to check out.

Unbelievable. it's like talking to a wall.

I hadn't heard your story yet.

Let me see.

Huh.

They're all members of doctoral global initiative.

If powell's charity is supplying organs, Maybe this is how he finds them.

Interesting --

Using the third world as you own organ bank.

Still, it's too circumstantial to make a case.

Let's talk to powell.

I know where to find him.

All right, scan the crowd.

Powell's got to be in there somewhere.

Invite only, gentlemen.

Oh, okay. I left mine at home.

Sorry. then you're gonna have to go home and get it.

Okay.

That was your plan?

You didn't forge an invitation?

I was allowed to? no.

Excuse me? hi.

I seem to have forgotten my invitation.

And you are?

Dr. parker, from doctoral global initiative, But you can call me leonard.

You are?

Ms. calloway.

Remember your invitation next time, doctor.

Have a good afternoon.

You too.

Let's go.

I'm sorry. and you are?

Dr...

Edgar tannenbaum. he's from dgi, as well.

Pleasure to meet you. i'm melissa.

What is your area of expertise, doctor?

Chiropractics.

You're a chiropractor?

And you work with dgi?

Poor posture doesn't discriminate.

No.

We may have a few slots still available.

You boys willing to get your hands dirty?

Oh, yeah. yeah. sure are. yeah.

Then follow me.

You underestimate me.

You do realize you have to flirt with her For the rest of the day, right?

Should be a fun story to tell elizabeth Over breakfast tomorrow. there's powell by the bar.

See if you can get close to him.

You'll have to pry your girlfriend off his arm first.

You know, any schlub can pick up a girl at a bar.

Want a challenge?

Try keeping a beautiful woman happy for 10 years running.

How long has it been?

Summer of '98.

Whoa. you haven't flirted in the 21st century?

No.

Now, listen, when you talk to powell, Tell him that you're from doctoral global initiative.

See how he reacts.

Copy that, tannenbaum.

Cranberry juice.

Hey, there.

You look thirsty.

I would love a drink.

Oh, and I still need to show you your spot, don't i?

Right. let's go see my spot.

I'll be back in a minute.

Uh-huh.

Scotch on the rocks, please.

Actually, you know what? hold the rocks.

I just got off a 30-hour flight.

Sooner I forget it, the better.

There's a trick to that, you know.

Sleeping pills.

Yeah, never works.

Too wound up.

The trick is not taking it on the plane.

Take it in the car on the way to the airport.

Thanks for the advice, doctor...

Powell. powell?

Dr. wayne powell? oh, my...

You're one of my heroes.

Leonard parker. doctoral global initiative.

Dgi.

Well, may I say that you are one of my heroes?

You work closely with powell?

He keeps a small circle.

Your friend back there seems to have captured his attention.

He's a charmer.

I prefer someone with a little more...experience.

You're married.

10 years and counting.

Commitment.

Another quality I admire.

Doctoral global initiative Is one of the few charitable organizations I still respect.

Is that why you founded hearts wide open?

One of the reasons. what can I get you?

Cranberry juice.

You know, perhaps you can, uh, help me.

I've got what you might call a friend in need.

I've arranged this setup In case any of our athletes have any injuries today.

The club has a doctor on call, But would you mind acting as backup?

I'm here to help.

Great.

I'll be your first patient.

I've have this knot in my back.

Would you mind taking a look?

No.

Well, okay. everything appears smooth.

Just below the fifth vertebra.

Feel that?

Lot of tension, right?

I can feel the tension. yep, yep.

Maybe this is stress.

From -- from work, maybe?

Maybe.

Why don't you go lower?

See, his remaining kidney is highly sensitized.

P.r.a. is through the roof.

What he needs is a zero mismatch.

Perfect compatibility is rare.

I'm hopeful.

There's a village on the outskirts of manipur.

Genetics of the population shows some promise.

India? I travel there often.

It's unfortunate The locals can't legally sell you what you need.

Both parties would win.

My friend would agree with you.

Tell you what.

Why don't you give me a call Whenever you find yourself there?

We make exceptionally charitable donations.

Maybe we're working the wrong side.

I'm not quite ready for that.

Maybe you should tell me more About your work with dr. powell, Why it's causing so much tension down here.

Well, we operate the howser clinic in manhattan.

The howser? best clinic there is.

I've been dying to check it out.

Well...

You should come see it for yourself.

This is my personal number.

Feel free to give me a call...

Whenever you're ready.

Hey, uh, dr. tannenbaum, Um, elizabeth was just wondering, Does "FBI" stand for "female body inspector?"

Sit down and shut up.

I pulled powell's travel records.

He's been flying to india quite a bit.

But I can't arrest the guy for building up his mileage.

What about the people he uses to scout for donor organs?

Virtually impossible to prove.

The charity masks their work as volunteering, And all the funds that pass through there Are tagged as charitable contributions.

Powell looks like a saint through all this.

And considering his own condition...

"his own condition"? kidney disease.

That explains why he was drinking cranberry juice at the club.

That's right.

Apparently, he was born with just one kidney.

His p.r.a.s are high. he needs --

A zero mismatch.

Peter, he's got the perfect cover here.

If he weren't so dirty, i'd almost respect him.

All right, what we have here is a nice little theory.

I need proof. and i'm guessing it's all here.

The howser clinic?

What, you think he'd keep patient records there?

Someone's got to keep a log of all those wealthy friends.

Let's take a look. can't.

Doctor-patient confidentiality Prohibits us from getting inside.

We need to look at this another way.

Byrne vs. bobby fischer, 1956.

Very good. who won?

Fischer.

He sacrificed his queen on move 17.

You all right?

The charity rescinded its offer to june's granddaughter.

What?

Yep. oh, god.

Did they say why?

They say they found a more urgent recipient.

And you --

Yes. I scouted the clinic.

Something's got them spooked.

Employees have been throwing files into the garbage all day.

You see what the files were?

I couldn't.

It's pretty upscale. private security everywhere.

Any idea what's got them rattled?
Honey?

Yeah?

What is this?

I was gonna talk to you about that.

That is part of an undercover job I was working.

And part of the cover Was that I had to talk to another woman.

You must've been quite the conversationalist.

I had to flirt with her So neal could get closer to the target.

Isn't it usually the other way around?

Eh, she chose me.

You had to seduce another woman?

No. no. I had -- I just had drinks with her.

Nothing happened, el. I swear.

Are you laughing?

You're laughing. you're laughing.

You had to flirt?

you hate flirting!

I know. and now I remember why.

What did you say to her?

I said that she looked thirsty.

It worked.

Oh, please tell me there's surveillance video of this. I got to see this.

Yeah?

Hey, it's me.

I'm just wondering if you looked into that clinic yet.

I had the bureau put in a request For their financial records.

Why?

No, i'm just checking. i'm just checking. thanks.

Why is elizabeth laughing?

No idea.

Talk to you later.

The FBI asked for copies of their financial records.

That explains it.

I'd be doctoring my books right now, too.

We have to get into that clinic, See what they're trying to get rid of.

Have a plan?

promise -- I will never even think about

Going up in a tall building again.

Oh, god. please don't let me die.

Hi, i'm here to drop off a patient. it's okay. i'm a cop. uh...

Mental health services Doesn't have anyone scheduled to come in today.

Let's see you take this under advisement, jerkweed!

Right, they -- they wouldn't have said anything.

Um... this is a bit sensitive.

The mayor asked for it be handled quietly.

It's his nephew.

I can't exactly give you his name, But he thinks he's --

Yippee-ki-yay, mother--

Bruce! bruce.

We've got to get him to see dr. westlake right away.

I'll ring him now.

Wait, hold on. hold on.

My -- my patient sees you making a call, he might get upset, Think you're alerting the bad guys.

I'll just take him to dr. westlake myself.

It's room 207, right?

Right.

On your feet, bruce.

Welcome to the party, pal. don't oversell it.

This way. this way.

Nice work, moz.

You can quit shaking now.

I'm not acting. I hate hospitals.

Now I have what he has.

Dr. westlake, please.

man on p.a.: michael crawford, 3-4-0. michael crawford, please call 3-4-0.

Looks like a waste of some perfectly good files.

Here we go.

Every donor on here is a major player in this city.

Hey, who's in dr. powell's office?

woman on p.a.: paging security to dr. powell's office.

Uh-oh.

Peter, I hope you get this.

Stop that fax.

Don't move!

I'm borrowing dr. powell's fax machine.

Honey, you expecting a fax?

No. I didn't even know that thing was still plugged in.

Jimmy burger? who's jimmy burger?

That's neal.

He was in your office. who is he?

He won't say.

But he's got some kind of tracker on his ankle.

He was going through your files.

We figured you'd want to know Before we involved the authorities, dr. powell.

Look, he's probably one of westlake's patients, Escaped from the third floor.

I'm on my way. hold him until I arrive.

It would be best if you calm him down.

Understood.

This is to help you relax.

I hope there's something fun in there, nurse ratched. electronic monitoring compliance unit.

This is burke, FBI.

I need the location Of detention tracking anklet 93-05-alpha.

Neal caffrey.

One moment, please.

Is neal in trouble?

Yeah. he's in a lot of trouble.

Agent burke, we have him located at 626 william street.

Caffrey! I told him not to go to that clinic.

I told him!

But he's neal. he doesn't think.

They're gonna send him back to prison for this.

What I have to do is call judge chivero and get a warrant.

I mean, why don't you just get somebody To, I don't know, show you the place?

If she invites you in, that's okay, right?

This is melissa.

Hey...melissa.

Hello?

This is dr. tannenbaum from the tennis club.

How are you?

Actually, i'm going into the office for dr. powell.

Perfect.

Uh, you said I could swing by anytime, And i'm gonna be in the neighborhood.

Oh, i'm sorry, but today is not looking good.

Tell her you need to see her.

Tell her you can't stop thinking about her.

This is a test.

Doctor, are you there? yeah.

I need to see you.

I can't stop thinking about you.

Is that right? okay, compliment her.

Tell her that you've never met someone like her.

You're intrigued.

I've never met someone like you...before.

I'm intrigued.

Well, i'd be lying if I said I didn't miss those magic hands of yours.

"magic hands"?

I was a chiropractor.

Really? doctor?

Yes? i've got to run.

But if you're really interested in seeing the clinic today, I can get you a pass.

If you can come by later, we could grab a drink.

Perfect.

That was definitely a test. can I help you?

Yeah.

Oh, there she is. melissa!

Dr. tannenbaum? uh, you're early.

I couldn't wait to see you.

Well, i'm flattered, But, uh, this really isn't a good time.

If you don't mind waiting until this evening...

I couldn't wait.

Excuse me.

Yes? it's powell. don't talk to anyone.

I'm 10 minutes away.

Doctor, what is going on? i'll explain when I get there.

Doctor?

Neal!

Neal?

♪ two lovers kissed, and the world stood still ♪
♪ still, still ♪
♪ still ♪
♪ still ♪
♪ that was nature's way ♪

Oh, my god.

♪ high on a -- ♪

What did they do to you?

Hey, buddy!

Neal.

Hi.

♪ high on a windy hill ♪

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh!

All right, we have to get you out of these restraints.

Oh, you mean these? what?

Never met a lock I couldn't pick...

Except this one.

All right. come on.

I don't know what it is about you're strong.

You're strong. oh, I got it. I got it.

Come on. I got it.

Shh, shh, shh, shh!

Easy. come on.

I cannot believe you.

Why would you do something like this?

Peter, i've done so-o-o many worse things You don't even know about.

Just shut up.

Like what things?

You remember the antioch manuscripts?

You took those? how?

Carrier pigeons.

Think about it.

Who cares? look, peter, that's not what's important.

It's not about money.

It's about people.

Good, 'cause you're gonna be spending A lot of quality time with people in orange jumpsuits Once I get you out of here.

Right.

I'm going down once they see those security tapes of me breaking in here.

There's surveillance cameras.

Hey...

Before I go back, you should know this.

Out of all the people in my life --

Mozzie, even kate, you know --

You're the only one.

"the only one" what?

The only person in my life I trust.

Don't pick this.

All right, someone got into my office.

The orderlies have got him locked down So we can question him.

Now, I want to find out who he is And if he took anything.

Okay?

I could slip you off. that wouldn't be picking.

That'd be slipping. but...

♪ love is a many-splendored thing ♪

What is that? surveillance tape.

Peter?

Let's go.

You st-- you stole that for me?

Yeah, it's a regular kodak moment.

My head is k*lling me.

Are you all right? hey, what about me?

There's some dishes that need to be washed, mr. magic hands.

Do you want some more ice?

Okay.

I'll get some.

You better have found something.

I saw a list full of wealthy clients, All of them willing to pay for organs, if the time comes.

Be nice if we could prove it.

Maybe we can.

There was another list --

Hundreds of names and blood types.

Your fax.

That's what this is.

Yeah. they must be the donors powell's been targeting.

Only four names came through?

Four's enough. we can talk to them. powell doesn't get his donors from overseas.

He gets them from charity cases for hearts wide open.

Each one of these four donors Passed through powell's clinics for various treatments.

Their blood types were then put on a master list, Which powell pulled from Whenever a more affluent patient needed a transplant.

Well, then what's his connection to doctoral global initiative?

Why so many trips to india?

Remember, powell has nephrosis.

He's only got one kidney, and he needs a new one --

Not just anyone, a zero mismatch.

Powell's been looking all over the world for this kidney.

The money from this charity scam Is what sponsored and financed his 'round-the-world search.

So, the kidney donors that you guys tracked down --

How much money did he offer them?

$10,000 each, but then he flipped them for $200,000.

Oh, wow.

We can't prove this, people. the donors won't testify.

So, i'm gonna need some ou t-of-the-box thinking From you guys on this one.

Anyone.

All right, caffrey, let's have it.

If we can trace any of the money powell's made from his illegal organ sales, We can bring him down, right?

Right. so, let's make him spend that money.

On what?

The thing he wants most.

What are the symptoms of kidney failure?

Major symptoms include headaches, weight loss, Skin irritation, chills, fatigue, And -- oh.

Oh. that -- that - that - that's not pretty.

All right, how many symptoms can we give him in a week?

Three should do it. think that'll be enough?

Guy that's worried about it? it'll be enough.

Okay, what do we start with?

Let's see the workup on him.

Okay. one of the symptoms is headaches.

We can swap his glasses.

I have a friend who wears glasses.

Trust me, we swap them out, he'll know.

Fatigue.

Weight loss.

According to his file, he dropped off a suit To have it dry-cleaned for an event this tuesday night.

The day before powell's due in, we'll pick up his clothes...

...and swap them out for a larger size.

He'll think he's dropped a few pounds.

When we have his clothes, We'll give him his second problem.

Skin irritation.

How do we do that? oh, we've got a spray.

You've got an itching spray?

We've got a lot of things you don't know about.

Wow. what?

You're really enjoying this.

No.

Maybe just a little.

Third symptom.

That's gonna be the best one.

Jones, what did you say it was?

Blood in the urine. wow.

How we gonna induce that?

Well, there are compounds.

dr*gs? no, no, no. no dr*gs.

Not "dr*gs" so much as food coloring for the body.

How do we make him take it?

He gets his groceries delivered, right? yep.

We gonna put it in his cranberry juice?

Yeah. we inject it.

Oh, e-excuse me.

I was wondering if you could help me.

I-i'm looking for, uh, the -- the central park.

Let's say I go along with it. then what?

Then powell gets the bad news. aah! blood in the urine, skin irritation, weight loss --

That's not a good sign.

It's failing, isn't it?

We'll know more once the tests come back in a few days.

Until then, rest.

Yes? dr. powell, can you hear me?

It's dr. parker -- from dgi, remember?

I remember. good, good.

Listen, i'm in india, and i've got good news.

Are you s--

Are you saying that you have something for me?

I'm saying you should buy a plane ticket right away. how are we gonna knock him out? won't be a problem.

Jfk -- and step on it.

He takes sleeping pills before he flies.

Care for some water, sir?

Ahh, that should do the trick.

powell: where am i?

What's happening?

Where am i? where am i?

No, no, no, no! hey! hey!

No, don't touch that! please don't touch that.

The equipment here is very temperamental.

What happened?

You went into renal failure during your flight.

You landed in manipur.

We had to remove your kidney and place you on dialysis.

But your body isn't tolerating it.

It's -- your blood pressure's dropping.

All right. i-is the donor here?

He is, and he's curious about what kind Of charitable contributions you can make to our clinic.

Well, that's n- that's not gonna be a problem.

I can get you $100,000 by tomorrow.

Oh, I was thinking more along the lines of $30 million.

$30 million?

A-are you insane?

How much is your life worth to you, doctor?

You're shaking me down?

I'm asking a question.

I-i can -- I don't know.

I can get you, uh, uh, $2 million.

This isn't a negotiation.

Padichareka!

This machine should be free in the next few hours.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Wait.

I have an account.

There's not $30 million in there, but it's close, all right?

I can have that money transferred anywhere you want.

No. that'll raise flags. no, no, no, no, no, no.

This -- this account, this is -- it's completely secure.

What? all right.

You know, it was set up to siphon money from my charity.

It was designed to be untraceable.

It's new reserve 774-196b.

Password -- "cranberry."

Then I have what I want.

Let's see how quickly we can get you healthy again. hey, dr. parker!

The machine stopped working.

Nurse!

Hello?!

Welcome back to new york, dr. powell.

Pass it! pass it!

June, I want you to know we got powell.

Once he tied himself to the charity's account, The rest of his operation came tumbling down.

Thank you.

Tell her the best part.

Samantha is back at her original spot on the list.

In light of the scandal, We were able to make some calls to the registry, Convince them to re-examine their position.

She's pretty good.

Yeah, she is.

Let me know how the game turns out.

Wait. aren't you staying?

Nope. i've got to pick up my wife.

She just doesn't know it yet.

Ohh.

Hi, there.

I couldn't help but notice you were sitting alone.

Well, my husband's at work. it happens a lot.

Hmm.

He must be good at his job.

Well, actually, his partner does a lot of the heavy lifting.

Oh, really?

if that's the case,

I bet it's because your husband Is distracted by thoughts of you.

Interesting theory.

Bet his favorite part of the day is coming home to that smile.

Whoever he is, he's a lucky man.

I keep telling him that.

You look thirsty.

so that line does work.

Every time.

By the way..

I'm dr. tannenbaum...

Chiropractor.

I'm told I have magic hands.

Okay, now you're dead.
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