03x05 - Veiled thr*at

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "White Collar". Aired: October 2009 to December 2014.*

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A white collar criminal agrees to help the FBI catch other white collar criminals using his expertise as an art and securities thief, counterfeiter, and conman.
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03x05 - Veiled thr*at

Post by bunniefuu »

Pick a card. Any card.

What does this have to do with our property-fraud scam?

You'll have the whole thing cracked before I can say "ta-da."

Pick a deed.

[ Sighs ]

Now what?

Now I take these 51 deeds and figure out which one you took.

It's not magic. It's math.

We go through the title company's records, match them with the realtor's, and figure out which one is missing.

Ta-da.

Nice work.

But here's another case we need to make disappear.

Selena Thomas. Mm.

Who's she?

Devoted serial monogamist who marries wealthy men right before they die.

A black widow.

Could be.

She has four rich late husbands.

She gets around.

And now she's finally getting around to New York.

Quite the Queen of Hearts.

Cute.

You like that?

Move it, Copperfield.

Their deaths are listed as natural -- heart att*ck, embolism, skydiving accident.

What about the fourth guy?

We're waiting on the L.A. Bureau to send their report.

Four husbands, four dead bodies.

We think she's k*lling them, but we don't know why.

They're not leaving her all their money?

Nope. That's what you'd expect.

But she's not collecting on any of the insurance payoffs.

We flagged her name on this.

It's an application for the Manhattan Millionaire Society Bachelors Auction.

If she's gonna be at this auction, then so are we.

Club has three open slots for eligible men.

That means I need three volunteers.

Neal, raise your hand.

Do I have to?

Yes.

There's our first lucky bachelor.

Come on.

We'll create very irresistible identities for you guys.

Yeah, then hope she doesn't k*ll her latest boy toy before we find the money.

That's a hand.

Jones is number two.

No, Peter, I didn't -- One more.

Come on. It's only a cover.

Who's number three?

How about you, Peter?

I mean, you seem like the marrying kind, right?

I am married.

Hey... It's only a cover.

Be nice to give her some variety.

Unless -- Guys, guys, unless, you know, you need permission.

[ All murmuring ]

I don't -- I don't -- no, I --

O-okay, fine. I'll do it.

All right.

Let's set it up.

Are you scared to tell Elizabeth?

Terrified.

My role in the assignment's minimal.

[ Sighs ] Right.

You're playing Piece of Meat Number 2.

You're gonna flirt --

Talk. I'm gonna talk to them.

And then you're gonna walk across a stage while these women are bidding on you.

El, my chances of being picked are slim to none between Neal and --

Wait. Hold on.

Your chances are not slim.

Honey, look at you.

I'm holding poop.

And you look damn sexy doing it.

You know what?

What?

You're gonna win this thing.

I am?

Yeah.

I'm gonna make sure of it. Come on.

What's the grand prize on this?

I get to take a very lovely, very dangerous woman out on a date.

Hmm. It's nothing you can't handle.

Thanks to you.

Uh, we, actually, have never been on a date.

Peter and Elizabeth's house.

Dinner date. Not date date.

Define "date date."

One-on-one.

What about lunches?

Lunch is not romantic.

Lunch is lunch.

We've never been on a real date.

It's okay. What's your cover?

Playboy son of a Texas oil tycoon.

Oh, well!

I like the accent.

I'm glad you do, ma'am.

[ Laughs ]

There's gonna be a very big problem, though.

What's that?

All the women are gonna want you, so what happens when your k*ller gets outbid?

I see your point. Mm-hmm.

You're gonna have to throw your meetings with all the other women.

How do I do that?

Well, we are very shallow creatures, but there are things that even beautiful men like you do that drive us nuts.

Oh, you're good.

All right, honey, let's go over this again.

You are...

Peter Williams, U.S. steel magnate.

Mm. And tell me more about the steel industry.

Well, it began as a family business.

Boring, boring, boring. By then --

What did we discuss?

Right.

Uh, you don't want to hear about what I do.

I really want to know more about you.

Mm. And why are you still single?

Haven't found the right woman yet.

Mm. Who might this right woman be?

Oh, well, she's about 5'5", brunette, most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen, smart as a whip, and gorgeous as hell.

Aww. Perfect.

Okay. Remember, this is a conversation, not an interrogation, so you got to move away from the "where are you froms" and "what do you dos," and, honey, don't make that face.

What face?

That face.

Oh. Right. Yes.

Be yourself. You're gonna be great.

Okay.

[ Chuckles ]

Thanks, hon.

Bye. See ya.

Oh.

Have we, uh, met?

I don't believe we have.

Arthur Fort, pastry baron to a multimillion-dollar dessert empire.

Ladies love the sweets.

Neal: You ready?

Are you?

Gentlemen, we are about to begin.

I will make the announcement, and when I give you the go-ahead, you just take your places on the stairs, okay?

Good luck.

Okay, ladies, I have only one question for you!

Are you ready to meet your men?

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Whistling, women chanting "Men! Men! Men!" ]

[ Chuckles ]

Why do I feel like I need a pike and sword?

For those about to date...

We salute you.

Okay, ladies, you'll have five minutes to talk to each man.

When the bell sounds...

[ Bell tinkles ]

...you simply move on to the next.

Now, why don't you go ahead and check your invitations for the proper rotation.

You ever done anything like this before?

Yes.

What do you look for?

Mm. Tall, dark, and handsome is fine with me.

You can also tell a lot about a man by his smile, how confident or counterfeit he can be.

Mm. So what's your plan?

I'm gonna b*mb every meeting except Selena.

Mm. You're afraid you'll cause a frenzy.

I'm narrowing the odds.

What's your approach?

I'm going for the frenzy. Mm.

I'm gonna try to charm every one of them.

I want good word of mouth.

Sure.

Peter.

I'm gonna maintain eye contact and remember it's a conversation, not an interrogation.

That's all good, but what you want to do, you want to keep it up here when you talk, right?

Down here, this is all second-date territory.

Okay, so be yourself.

Just be yourself up here.

And if you're holding a drink, keep it in your left hand.

That way, when you shake her hand with your right, your first touch won't be cold.

Yeah, it is cold.

Jameson: One final reminder --

Some of the men have been known to propose on the very night of the auction, so, please, don't forget to check their pockets for engagement rings.

Okay, millionaires, the moment all these beautiful ladies have been waiting for.

On your marks, get set... date!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hi. Where were you before New York?

Cleveland.

[ Chuckles ]

Fascinating.

Tell me more about Cleveland.

I-it's in Ohio.

[ Both laugh ]

Oh!

Oh!

[ Bell tinkles ]

I made my first batch of chocolate-chip cookies when I was 5 years old.

I've never looked back.

You seem passionate about pastry.

Mm.

I'm passionate in everything I do.

[ Bell tinkles ]

Nothing compares to it.

Hunting deer?

Fawns, actually -- the babies.

Are you serious?

Yeah, there's a certain thrill in the k*ll.

And -- Oh. Oh, one second.

[ Cellphone rings ]

What are you doing?

Oh, ho. Hey, buddy!

What's up?

Hold on. I'm on a date. Have a nice day.

Say hi.

And switch.

[ Bell tinkles ]

How are you?

Oh, I want to hear more about you.

Okay, um, well --

Oh, it's gonna be cold. It's cold, isn't it?

Oh.

So, I spoke with Selena. Didn't get much.

She likes tall, dark, and handsome.

Well, how dark are we talking?

[ Bell tinkles ]

[ Clears throat ]

Excuse me.

One more minute. One more minute.

I'm looking for that -- the right person.

And what does she look like?

[ Bell tinkles ]

Hi. How are you?

Ah, tsh, tsh, tsh!

Just one more minute.

I'm just checking the mavericks score.

They're losing again.

[ Chuckles ]

It's not good.

She's looking for someone she can manipulate, someone who comes across as sincere but less than self-assured.

How am I doing?

You're great. Yeah.

Basically, she wants someone with an honest smile.

A smile.

The "honest" part went right by you, huh?

[ Bell tinkles ]

Pleased to meet you, miss...

Oh, call me Selena.

Mm. Selena.

Mm-hmm.

I've got to admit, you caught my eye the minute I came down the stairs.

Oh. [ Chuckles ]

That is a lovely dress.

Oh, thank you.

Girl has to make an impression, right?

Oh, you do. Oh.

Tell me a little about yourself.

Well, fortunately, I've done well --

Well enough to devote the majority of my time to a few nonprofits.

Mm.

Are you...into nonprofiting?

[ Chuckles ]

Well, with the right person, always.

Yeah? That's nice. Mm-hmm.

And switch.

[ Bell tinkles ]

Well, uh, I hope we get to continue this conversation another time.

Yeah, me too. All right.

It was a little too fast.

It was lovely to meet you.

Great to meet you.

Peter: Hi.

Hi. I'm Peter.

Hi, Peter.

You're very beautiful.

Aw, thank you.

So, why are you here, Peter?

To find someone special.

Mm-hmm.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Sighs ]

But most of these women are only interested in small talk, so...

Well, what are you interested in?

Being caught off guard.

Having a conversation that --

That goes beyond the "what do you do?"

And "where are you from?"

Selena, there are a lot of nice guys here.

I truly hope you find the one you're waiting for.

[ Footsteps depart ]

Sold for $8,000! Congratulations.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Next up is Mr. Arthur Fort, the pastry baron of Brooklyn.

Shall we start the bidding at $5,000?

$5,000.

$6,000.

$7,000!

He seemed nice.

He was charming.

But?

A little too charming.

$11,000.

Woman: Wow.

Sold for $11,000.

[ Applause ]

Our next bachelor is Mr. Nicholas Munroe.

Nick has been making the rounds, but now he's ready to take you ladies on the date of your lives.

Shall we start the bidding at $5,000?

Do I hear $5,000?

He's gorgeous.

He's young.

Do I hear $3,000?

Well, you can get him at a discount.

Don't let me stand in your way.

Hmm.

1,000 bucks?

Well...

Okay, sold!

[ Applause ]

What happened?

My plan worked. Mm.

Too well.

Our next bachelor is Mr. Peter Williams.

We'll start the bidding at --

$15,000.

[ Women gasp ]

Wow! Any other bids?

Sold for $15,000 to the woman in red!

Okay, $15,000 has to be the record.

No. Here you go, Tex.

But it was the second-highest bid they've ever had.

Second?

There was a Kennedy last year.

Was it one of the good-looking ones?

Eh...

Guys, let's talk about what's next.

Okay. Where are you taking her?

Nowhere.

I'm gonna go to her place, drop a bug, plant a keylogger, and figure out what she has planned.

And how she plans to m*rder you.

That, and how she's angling for my money.

Is this date gonna be dangerous?

Whoa. Peter is not dating her.

I'm occupying her.

I'll have an arrest warrant before dessert.

Hmm.

[ Telephone rings ]

This is Peter.

Selena: Hey, Peter.

It's Selena.

Hey! Great to hear from you.

We still on for tonight?

We have reservations for 8:00 P.M. at the Griffin.

It's downtown.

It's delicious. It's...

I'll pick you up at 7:00?

No. I'll meet you there.

No, no, no. I-I-it's no trouble.

No. The trouble is you disagreeing with me.

Well, what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't pick you up on our first date?

Peter, I'll see you at 8:00.

See you at 8:00.

[ Dial tone ]

No trace.

Ugh! Great!

We don't know where she is!

If I can't pick her up...

You'll have to drop her off.

You're gonna have to seal the deal.

No -- no, no! No deal sealing.

You don't want her dumping you and going after another victim.

Diana's right.

You need to impress her enough that she wants to take you home.

Elizabeth got me into this.

Yes, she did.

So, technically, it's okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm gonna close the deal.

I'm on point.

Target's not here.

Relax, commando. It is just a dinner.

I got eyes on Selena.

She'll be inside within a minute.

Target sighted.

You look even more handsome tonight, if that's possible.

So do you.

Beautiful.

[ Chuckles ]

Shall we?

Yes.

Wonder what's on the menu.

Theirs?

Or ours?

Ours.

It's a very nice Halibut with a mango chutney.

Why are you doing this?

You helped me save face at the auction.

The least I can do is offer you a decent meal.

A candle!

Electric.

[ Laughs ]

Something to drink?

Please.

May I recommend our Merlot?

A bottle of your Vino del Diablo.

How adventurous.

I'll take a risk once in a while.

Like the auction.

Like you.

Oh, so I'm a risk?

[ Chuckles ]

I feel I don't need to hide anything from you.

Oh.

Maybe that was a little too forward.

No, Peter.

There's nothing more attractive than the truth.

Mm.

He's doing good.

Well, he's gonna need to step it up if he wants an invite back to her place.

You ever cook like this for Sara?

I thought about it.

Well, do more than think.

Insurance investigator Barbie would be thoroughly impressed.

[ Glasses clink ]

[ Glasses clink ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Slow music plays ]

Oh, I love this song.

Oh, me too.

Shall we dance?

Oh, uh...

You've been adventurous with the Merlot.

Why stop now?

[ Stammers, chuckles ]

[ Clears throat ]

[ Tango plays ]

Is that a tango?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Peter, Peter, there are certain things you cannot recover from.

I can handle this.

I don't hear any screaming.

[ Music continues ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Music ends ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Let's go back to my apartment so that --

[ Feedback ]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Did you get that?

The first part loud and clear.

The second?

Never to be repeated.

[ Chuckles ]

Nice work, agent Burke.

Peter.

Remind me to thank El for the dance lessons.

Neal? Neal?

Neal?

I don't think he can hear us.

She must have blown the receiver.

Selena: Why don't you make us a drink while I change and put on some music?

Is she actually slipping into something more comfortable?

Mm-hmm.

I don't like this woman.

[ Cellphone rings ]

Hey, Jones. What's up?

Come on, Peter. Plant the bug and get out.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

If you can hear me, I don't see a computer, so the keylogger isn't gonna work.

[ Sighs ]

I'm going for the bug plant on the purse.

Thanks, Jones.

L.A.'s autopsy came in.

Selena's fourth victim dead of a s*ab wound to the throat.

Street mugging.

Selena was the only eyewitness, and they never caught the assailant.

Well, that's convenient.

The m*rder happened while they were out to dinner.

Maybe she is a serial k*ller.

Or he caught on to her plan.

Mm.

What are you doing?

Thought I saw a bug.

I'll call the exterminator in the morning.

How about those drinks?

Lemon?

Surprise me.

Peter?

Yes.

[ Both chuckling ]

Oh! Oh!

Oh, oh, I just spilled it on me. Oh!

Oh, I'm so clumsy.

He needs help.

All right, I'm gonna call him.

Can you generate some sound effects?

A steel mill, people yelling, something.

The Bureau can, and I can patch it through to the call.

You mind if I use your bathroom?

Oh, no, I can help you with that.

Oh, no, no. That's okay. I --

These buttons are difficult. Let me --

[Both laugh ]

Uh, here, let me get the --

[ Cellphone rings ]

Oh, oh...

No, no -- I can get it. That's not a problem.

[ Gasps ]

Peter Williams' phone.

Neal: Where's Mr. Williams?

Who is this? You know what?

[ Machinery grinding ]

It doesn't matter.

We need him here, pronto.

Hamilton Mill is getting lit up like a Christmas tree.

We have an induction furnace that is ready to blow.

Sounds important.

This is Williams.

Hello, Mr. Williams.

I'm looking for Phil -- Phil Landerer.

Right.

You know him?

Okay, on my way.

We're good.

Sorry. I got to handle this.

Oh... I know it.

I know. Selena, I had a great time.

I'll make it up to you.

Oh, you'll make it up to me tomorrow night.

Mmm.

[ Both chuckle ]

Gotta go. Yeah.

Hmm.

Selena made a call after you left.

I'm pulling up the audio now. Hang on.

Selena: It's me.

He left early, but I think I got to him.


Man: Did you spook him?

Not at all.

I'll have Williams down on one knee by the end of the week.

After that, you finish the job, and it's payday.


She has a partner.

Whoever her partner is, they probably run the endgame.

You're gonna have to keep seeing her.

Is there another option?

Anyone?

I'm sure Elizabeth will be completely...supportive.

Mm-hmm.

We'll find out when we talk to her.

"We"?

Yes, we.

Oh, come on.

Why do you have to see her again?

We've run into some...complications, but --

Elizabeth, this -- this woman is a m*rder*r.

Another reason I don't love this!

She needs to be taken out.

Down. Down.

She needs to be taken down.

El, I want this over with more than anyone.

Is she...attractive?

Not really. Define "attractive."

You know, I'm gonna --

I'm gonna take Satchmo for a walk, get a little air.

Bye.

See ya, honey.

That wasn't a complete train wreck.

But that's as far as it goes.

You're seeing Selena again tonight.

What's your plan?

Well, I'm gonna try to get to her cellphone and find out who she's talking with.

The sooner this ends, the better.

Then propose. Right. What?

Well, you said you want to speed things up, right?

Yeah. Nothing says "enamored" like -- Polygamy?

"Marry me." No!

No, the cell is a good start.

All right, it's your operation.

And I'm not changing it.

Diana has already prepped the team.

She's following me in the van.

Sounds like you got it covered.

Do you mind if I take off?

Where you going?

Sara's coming to my place.

You're not the only one with dinner plans.
[ Siren wails in distance ]

[ Knock on door ]

Hey.

Hey, I got your message. Is everything okay?

I don't know.

You tell me.

[ Chuckles ]

You're trying to impress me.

Well, look, I know you said I didn't have to, but...

Whatever makes you feel better.

Wow. Look at you.

No purse?

No.

I was in the mood for something a little more private tonight.

Let's go to your place.

My place?

Mm-hmm.

Sure. Sounds good.

Oh, it will be.

[ Dialing ]

Neal, change of plans.

You have 15 minutes to clear out of your apartment, or my cover's blown.

I'm commandeering your date.

[ Cellphone buzzing ]

It's very lovely for a first date.

Don't expect this every time.

Oh, there's gonna be a second date?

Guy can hope.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I could be talked into it.

[ Cellphone buzzing ]

Neal, go check your phone.

Thank you. Yep.

[ Sighs ]

Who is it?

We got to get out of here right now.

Peter's undercover. He's coming up the stairs.

I'll explain everything later.

No, no! Not that way! The closet.

Uh, new bottle.

[ Chuckles ]

Through there.

[ Peter talking indistinctly ]

I got it, I got it.

Sorry.

Sara: Ooh, grab me a quiche.

Just let me make sure we're all set.

Here we are.

[ Gasps ]

Amazing!

Huh.

Oh, Peter, you shouldn't have.

[ Chuckles ]

Surprise.

What is going on?

Remember that case I was working on?

The k*ller bride?

Yeah. Peter's dating her now.

Really?

Yep.

So what are we doing?

This apartment was a backroom speakeasy.

And this was the observation room.

Oh, wow.

Selena: Very eclectic, right?

Peter, you didn't tell me that you were an artist.

I dabble.

I wouldn't say I'm any good, though.

Oh, don't be modest.

You know, this may sound silly, but...

...would you draw me?

Oh, I'm sure that we could have...

You mean right now?

Yeah. Why not?

I-it would take time to do it right.

We have all night.

It wouldn't do you justice.

Oh, but you will. I won't take no for an answer.

Okay.

But, uh...

You should know that I'm experimenting with some very, very primitive styles.

Ooh.

[ Chuckling ] Yeah.

Can Peter draw?

Unless she's expecting a breathtaking stick figure, he's in trouble.

Uh-huh.

Does he know that you're here?

Unfortunately, yes, he knows about this room.

All right.

[ Selena sighs ]

Let me make sure the light is right.

Okay. All right.

Hold this.

This is not how I saw the night going, by the way.

Oh.

I mean, any guy can make a girl dinner.

Only you could sketch a black widow from a hidden back room.

Is the pose okay?

Yes. That's perfect. Okay.

But, remember -- no peeking.

Peter, I have to ask, how did you... set this...all up so fast?

Um...

Hey, do yourself a favor.

Never try to send a grappling hook through the post office.

I-I mean, that is, if... you ever needed to send... a grappling hook, that is.

Perfect timing.

This is my...man -- Haversham.

He made the arrangements.

Haversham, everything is perfect.

Thank you.

You may enjoy your night off.

So sorry to interrupt...

Such a suspiciously amorous evening.

Haversham, do you mind?

I'll need my suit for tomorrow.

A suit.

Yes.

I'll be right back.

Good.

How handy.

Yes, he's...one of a kind.

I should have known.

Finished.

It looks good.

Hmm.

Something's missing.

Neal, are you sure you want to do that?

Well, Peter said he wants this case closed fast.

This should help.

Okay, but Peter is gonna be really mad.

But she won't.

All right, Moz, get this to him without her seeing.

Oh, sure.

I'll hide it under my gargantuan clown sleeve.

Oh, come here. Try this.

Oh, I'm more of a spring.

Moz, we don't have time.

Okay. Oh. I got it. Okay.

[ Sighs ]

Your turncoat for tomorrow, sir.

Ah, yes. Thank you.

That is exactly what I needed.

Mm.

Good work, Moz.

Oh, I'm gonna need some... cash for the dry-cleaner.

Of course. $50 should do it.

Don't know what I'd do without you.

Oh, I might need more.

Ah. Good evening...

Yes. ...Madam.

It's great to meet you... Haversham.

[ Giggles ]

He's curious.

Very high-functioning, considering his condition.

Oh.

Done.

[ Peter chuckles ]

[ Gasps ] Wow! That looks amazing!

Yeah, it is.

Peter, what's this?

Oh, that?

[ Breathes shakily ]

I wanted tonight to be special.

Are you asking me what I think you're asking me?

Oh... Oh!

Peter! Yes.

Yes, yes.

[ Both laugh ]

Best date ever.

She said yes?!

You could look at this as another victory for Team Burke.

Buh.

Eh, El, I'm putting my life at risk here.

Yes! You are.

I mean, this was -- this was supposed to be a date, not a "save the date."

The investigation's almost over.

Yeah, I recall hearing that after the first date.

Now you're engaged?

All I need is to find out who her partner is.

That means contacts, figuring out who she's close to.

Maybe you need a guest list.

Guest list?

For the wedding.

You want to wrap up this case?

You need an event planner.

Look at you two.

Peter, you didn't tell me she was so beautiful.

[ Chuckles ]

Thank you.

Mm, you're so welcome.

Now, I was thinking of setting you guys up by the gazebo.

Oh. That sounds great. Yeah.

I'll need a head count to make sure we have enough room.

Did you bring your lists?

Selena, friends and family?

Oh, no. I'm new to the city.

I don't know many people here.

Plus, I have all the family I need in this man.

[ Chuckles weakly ]

I understand. You want to keep it small.

Weddings can be so chaotic.

In the end, you're making a schedule instead of a-a memory.

Sounds like you've had experience.

You know, my husband and I wanted to keep it small, but somehow our wedding ballooned into this massive event.

You didn't enjoy it?

Oh, it was lovely. It was really lovely.

But I think if I were to do it again, I'd keep it a little more intimate, simple.

Just us.

Well, hopefully, ours will be more special.

Mm...We...have to get going.

We have reservations for lunch in a half-hour.

Oh, Peter, do you mind if I borrow Selena for just a moment?

I would love to go over invitations with her.

Sure. I'll go get the car.

Okay. Thanks, honey.

Um... Now that we're alone, I wanted to ask you something, and I didn't want to do it in front of your fiancé.

Um...Have you been married before?

I have.

How many times?

What business is that of yours?

Oh, I was just asking to make sure that you have all the proper legal documents for the marriage license.

That way, we can avoid a lot of questions.

Great.

I'll have my lawyer send over the papers.

Okay. So, we'll be in touch.

Thank you so much. Okay.

Ready?

Ready as you are.

[ Engine revs, tires screech ]

Elizabeth: Peter!

Did you, uh -- did you get a look at the license plate?

Uh, no tags.

All right, thank you very much. I got it from here.

Thank you.

Wow. That car came out of nowhere.

Yeah.

If she hadn't warned me, I --

Oh, I don't want to think about that.

I-I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you.

And if something did?

[ Sighs ]

How close was it?

Close.

Got my heart pumping.

But then Selena and I had one of those "should anything ever happen" chats.

Oh. That's a pretty good scam.

Car nearly runs you down, which prompts a discussion about what happens when you're gone?

Exactly.

She told me if worse comes to worse, she wouldn't want a dime of my money.

Really?

She'd prefer I leave it to charity.

One of her choosing?

I went through the wills of her victims.

Each one left a significant contribution to a charitable organization.

I'm guessing these don't exist anymore.

No. So where'd the money go?

This may tell us.

We got something from the legal papers Selena gave Elizabeth.

The lawyer's name was a bogus I.D. We tracked to this guy.

Look familiar?

It's the emcee from the auction. Gerald Jameson.

Yeah, he hosts dating events worldwide.

Never stays in one place for more than a year.

Always changes the name and charity of his latest auction.

That's a great setup.

He puts on these auctions, lines up the suitors...

She knocks them down.

We need a concrete link between these two and the charities.

I'll talk to him.

What are you gonna say?

That my date didn't work out.

She was a nice girl who prefers... Nice girls.

I was gonna say "blondes," but we can run with that, too.

Should give us enough time to case the office.

Who is "us"?

Why'd I ask?

All right, we're looking for safes, vaults, and locked cabinets -- Keep an eye out.

Hey, hey. Great to see you again.

Ah, yes, Mr. Munroe. How can I help you?

Well, I was just wondering about your next event.

Ah.

I take it...things didn't work out.

Well, you know, some guys propose on the first date.

Some don't make it to the second.

I see.

And with regards to your little friend over there, we have a --

A certain height requirement.

Oh, no, no. He's, uh --

He's all set with the ladies.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm sorry to say my next event won't be for two months, and that's in Florida.

I love the Sunshine State.

Am I still tall enough to fill out an application, or...?

[ Chuckling ]

Yes, of course.

I'll go get it from the back.

[ Chuckles ]

8414.

Standard Banks-Smith security system, but it's gonna be hard to get in here with him hanging around.

Then we will have to get to it later.

Ah.

There you are.

Thank you so much.

One more thing.

I love this space.

Do -- do you love it?

Yeah. High ceilings!

Mm. Do you rent it out?

Yes, it is possible.

My friend, Mr. Williams --

Uh, we attended your last auction together --

Of course, yes. He's our big winner.

Yes, he had better luck than I did.

And he asked me to help him with a...certain celebration.

[ Techno music plays ]

Neal: Peter!

Oh.

Welcome to your bachelor party!

Can't believe you did this.

Oh, you're welcome.

Not what I meant. Come on.

Now we have the entire night to get into Jameson's office.

The Harvard crew is all over the place for backup.

This is business.

It is not pleasure.

What is he doing here?

I love National Geographic.

"The Mating Habits of Midlevel Government Employees" --

Totally captivating.

Well, I'm not on duty. I'm going to get a drink.

This anything like your first one?

No. Wow.

Peter. Hmm.

All right, I'll distract.

You get in the records room.

Got anything?

No.

I'm gonna get a drink.

Nothing.

Great.

I don't know who's gonna k*ll me first -- my wife or my fiancée.

What if I told you there's a way to spook your lady into leading us straight to the money?

How?

Use what we got.

Neal, what we've got are strobe lights, probies, women, and booze.

Exactly.

Have a probie grab a camera from the surveillance truck.

We're taking sh*ts.

Mr. Jameson!

Come on, join us for a drink.

Oh, no. No, I really need to keep an eye on the space.

Oh, come on. I owe you one.

We owe you one.

Yes, none of us would be here if it wasn't for you.

Well, if you put it that way, I guess one little drink wouldn't hurt.

All right.

Gentlemen, cheers.

Cheers. Cheers.

Congratulations.

Mmm!

Aah! That burns!

Delicious. Thank you. You guys have fun.

Neal: No, no, no, no. Hold on.

Bartender, another round?

No, no. No, really. Come on. I disagree.

This is my best friend's bachelor party.

Let's make it... a night to remember.

Mm-hmm!

Congrats. Thanks.

Have a wonderful life.

Mmm.

Okay! Oh, God!

Yeah, that's delicious.

Yeah, it is. One more. No, top shelf.

And cheers again. And cheers again.

Aah! Ha!

You know, it does go down easy. Four, five, six times...

You can barely taste it.

You b*at us on that one!

Much happiness.

Cheers. Cheers.

Thank you.

What are you doing here?

Miss Thomas?

What can you tell me about this man?

You're FBI?

I was undercover at Mr. Jameson's last fundraiser.

We believe he had illicit financial dealings prior to his death.

His death?

What happened?

We're waiting on the toxicology report.

I'm here because I need to question everyone affiliated with the society house's recent auction.

I'm sorry. Um...

This is a shock, but I don't know anything.

Looks like Diana got to her.

She's heading towards the bank.

She'll be clearing out the money any minute now.

Good. Give Jameson his wake-up call.

[ Dialing ]

[ Ringtone plays "Shave and a Haircut" ]

[ Beeps ]

Peter, you're on standby.

Hey!

I got a ping from the bank.

Why did you drain our account?

Wait a minute. They told me you were dead.

What?

Who told you I was dead?

Peter: We did.

Wait a minute. What's going on?

You two are under arrest.

Wait a minute. You're FBI, too?

Yeah, let's just say I'm the adventurous type.

Neal: Uh, speaking of, I think we were all a little adventurous last night.

Further incriminating evidence.

Should we give him a little slide show here?

Peter: Yeah. Yeah.

Here's you on sh*t number eight, having a good time.

Here's you on sh*t number 12 having a great time.

This is when you told us you had a big payday coming up.

Great. Good job.

And that's when you told me I should enjoy the honeymoon phase while I can.

Oh, here's where you said you were tired and wanted to go to bed.

Neal: Something about having to tie up loose ends in the morning.

They say that alcohol's a truth serum for some people.

You are definitely one of them, my friend.

And, in case you were wondering, we got it all on tape.

Peter. Hmm.

I actually thought we had something.

[ Chuckles ]

It wasn't real.

Not even our tango?

Oh. Mm.

You know, they say that breaking up is tough.

For what it's worth, it wasn't me.

It was you.

Peter...

That's a shame.

Would have been a nice wedding.

Yeah.

Elizabeth ordered most of the arrangements already.

I'm sure she did a great job.

It's too bad we'll have to ship them all back.

Or ship them somewhere else.

[ Knock on door ]

Is everything okay?

Peter needs your help right away.

Okay.

Honey?

Hey, beautiful.

What is this?

I'm sorry for what you went through on this one.

So, to make it up to you, I'm giving you the wedding you always wanted.

Small, simple.

Just us.

Will you marry me again?

Yes.

As many times as you ask.

[ Clears throat ]

Preacher's here.

That was fast.

Sorry I'm late.

Don't tell me he's been ordained.

Twice. Tax dodge?

Oh, yeah, like I pay taxes.

Will you bear witness?

Of course.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of...Suit and Mrs. Suit once again.
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