01x05 - I'm with the Maestro

[bunniefuu]

[orchestral music plays]

They could have just hugged it out, you know.

[electronic music plays]

Father?

Can I ask for your guidance?

Please?

I'll try to be helpful if I can.

Okay, I have to tell you, I'm not religious, okay?

I'm spiritual.

I'm a musician, I find my spirituality through all the things that are much more powerful than anything you guys do.

But, uh... my God is music.

Yeah?

God appears in many ways.

Yes. Yeah, it does.

And...

Have you ever felt this dreadful passion?

I...

Close my eyes and I see her.

I see her eyes.

Her lips.

I...

She's coming.

She's coming to town and I want to rid myself of this feeling, of this overwhelming feeling.

Well, my relationship is with Jesus.

So girlfriend advice isn't really my specialty.

But I can say that it is wise to keep inner strength when when in the presence of temptation through the death and resurrection of our God.

I grant you pardon and absolution.

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Um...

I'm not confessing.

I thought that...

But uh...

Thank you, it's, uh...

I...

So I just have to remain strong but I can still be around her?

I'm not exactly sure that was my meaning.

That works.

I mean, I got it.

Thank you. That's actually really good.

Oh.

Makes sense. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Just don't tell your union rep.

What if I told you I am the union rep?

I still can't believe they needed multiple oboes for a small horror film.

What are the chances?

I was going for a real vintage Elmer Bernstein thing.

Oh.

A period contemporary mind f*ck, you know?

Would you ever be up for hearing some more of my demos?

Over drinks?

Oh, I'd love to, but I'm actually extremely busy.

So I wouldn't be able to hear them, you know?

Absolutely.

Forgive me for my ardor.

It's as much of a liability as a strength.

Hmm. Bye.

I'm going to remember that line.

That wasn't bad, right?

Play some music, watch a movie.

You know, I can promise you, any jobs I can throw your way, from now on I will.

I'd really appreciate it. I just want to play.

I once had a session where I spent the entire day playing a Moog synthesizer with one hand while rolling joints with the other hand.

I think the movie took place in space or was it Africa?

Or maybe I was just f*cking spaced out?

See you, DD.

Bye, guys.

Hey.

You girls want to go grab a bite?

I'm not really hungry.

I have to wash off after the indignity of working on that piece of crap film.

Yeah, I feel like I should call my sister and tell her I love her.

No, I can't. Alex is doing a showcase tonight.

I'm glad to see this Alex thing is really working out.

Yeah, well, we'll see.

You know, on second thought, I could maybe eat a little something.

My treat, of course, Cyn.

Is this... a real evil eye?

Absolutely, dude. Straight from Athens.

It'll ward off anything.

Used to have a whole store up.

Chipotle bought us out.

Do you have anything that's stronger?

You mean like witchcraft?

I was thinking more like sage.

[laughing]

Well, Betty, I have to ask you something, and don't get mad.

Fire away.

Have you ever thought about just being nice to Hailey?

Let me give it a sh*t.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen, Cyn.

Betty, she's harmless.

Yeah, harmless as a puppy with fleas.

Take your eye off her, and the symphony will suddenly be filled with sorority girls who dabble in music.

Plus, you know, mentoring's not really my jam.

Can we have a check, please?

You remember how hard it was when we started out?

Give her a break.

Why? I didn't get one.

When I started out, I was one of six women in this symphony.

When Catherine Lee got pregnant, they had no f*cking idea what maternity leave was.

They just let her go.

I mean, it absolutely infuriates me hearing these kids complain about how hard they have it.

I mean, shut up.

Go cry some place else.

I mean, I got where I was because of my talent and my hard work.

Hear you are, ma'am.

Thanks.

No.

Betty.

I said it was my treat.

Thanks.

How bad is it?

What?

Your wrist? Tendonitis.

It's that obvious, huh?

It's obvious to me.

What are you on?

A nice cocktail of Grey Goose and a mild steroid.

Ooh.

I know, I'm no wallflower.

Hey!

You little sh*t.

Son of a bitch.

f*ck you, bitch.

f*ck you!

Ow!

Are you okay?

Yeah, thanks.

Nice move.

Just a reflex.

Oh. I have some ice for that at home.

Come on.

(clears throat)

Hi, everybody.

So, what you're about to see is a work in progress.

Emphasis on the word progress.

Which, uh, on my note card here is written in capital letters and underlined.

I helped him come up with that.

Okay, so a couple years back Addison introduced me to a little book called Moby d*ck.

I... I just, I loved it, and I wanted to see if there was a way we could bring its epic scale to a more intimate dimension with our bodies, and we're just now at a place where we're looking to get some feedback.

So, yeah, thank y'all so much for being here.

(acoustic guitar music)

It's so cool, I've never seen him dance in front of an audience.

Do you think he's meant to be Captain Ahab?

I think he's the albino sperm whale.

That's good, right?

They move really well together.

Like brother and sister.

[phone vibrates]

sh*t. _

[singing in Spanish]

Gotta go.

Keep my eye on him.

Yeah.

Hello? Hello, Maestro?

Hello, I need you to come meet me.

I'll text you the address.

Yes, of course. Yes, definitely.

You know this is Hailey, right?

Hailey! Hailey.

Oh, Maestro, I'm so sorry I'm late.

We have to be very discreet tonight, okay?

Very discreet, do you understand what I'm saying?

Yes.

Yes?

Total discretion, got it.

Yes, strong, good.

Man: Hailey?

Okay, be strong, be brave.

What? What, what?

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

What? Oh, f*ck.

Hailey Rutledge.

Oh my God, hey.

I didn't know you were in NY.

Yeah, NY, it's so funny that you call it that.

How are you?

I'm good. Man.

At college, she turned me onto Ayn Rand, it was like,

[imitates expl*si*n]

Did you know that John Cage once performed here?

And, like, Philip Glass supposedly donated this keyboard that's like 10 feet long or something?

Philip Gla... I hate Philip Glass.

You hate Philip Glass?

Wow. Who is this guy?

Is that like your boyfriend?

Boyfriend, girlfriend?

No.

Hey, I'm Derrick.

Is that...

No, it's not.

Derrick, it's so nice to see you.

You have to go now.

Okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Is he an old love of yours?

Forgive me, I am so mortified right now.

Ha. Ha ha.

Next.

Okay, you're next.

Oh.

Hi, two tickets under Rodrigo de Souza.

Okay, um...

They're actually under Harmonic.

Phil.

Phil.

Phil Harmonic.

Thank you so much.

Next.

Hey, I figured it out, man.

I'm a really big fan.

Thank you much. Thank you, thank you.

Hailey...

Yes?

Okay, listen to me, okay?

Okay.

Pay close attention to what I'm going to say.

Yes.

All right?

Under no circumstance no matter what I say, no matter what I do, are you going to allow me to go backstage after the performance.

Okay?

Okay.

Promise me.

I promise.

No, promise properly.

Do like this.

Okay.

Good.

Great.

Promise.

Promise.

Okay, cool, so I'll e-mail you.

All right, thanks so much for coming.

I really appreciate it.

Hey, sorry to interrupt.

Oh, hey.

That was awesome.

Sorry if I stink.

You don't stink, you smell like work.

Congratulations. You guys were f*cking great.

Yeah, I'd never read Moby d*ck, but...

I feel pretty confident I could bullshit my way through that dinner party now.

I saw Hailey leave.

Yeah, she had a work emergency.

Do you have your lip stuff?

Mmm.

I'm gonna be honest, I don't give a sh*t about movement, but, no, that inspired me.

Inspired you to do what?

I don't know, get my ass in shape?

Nice place.

It's home.

I did what I could with it.

My sister's kids.

They were bastards when they were young.

Here, check this out.

These are my babies.

Betty, this is incredible.

If not maniacal.

Some early Zeppelin.

Oh, the first Black Sabbath.

That is some witchy sh*t.

I also have an extensive collection of prog rock.

What, you think I only get it up for Brahms?

Wow.

After all these years, I didn't know how cool you are.

Cheers.

You smoke?

[chuckles]

Hit me.

Ah.

My one regret.

He was as brilliant as he was handsome.

Dare I ask what's going on with you and Thomas?

I'm not sure I even know.

I mean, he's gone.

What does it matter, really?

Didn't ever commit, anyway.

He's not in a position to, not with his wife and his public persona.

You know, growing old is horseshit.

But growing old alone, it's the best.

So 40 years with the New York Symphony doesn't seem like it turned out so bad for you.

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

[chattering]

Wait, why can't I let you go backstage after the performance?

Because the performer that we are watching tonight, she's my wife.

Oh.

(violin plays)

She's really pretty.

Well, yeah.

[applause]

Shut up!

You shut the f*ck up!

She's got a lot of blood.

Yeah.

I had no idea that that old man and that fish had the hots for each other like that.

You and Alex have really great chemistry.

Yeah?

I think we just know each other's bodies really well.

So are these all producer types?

Uh, more like casting directors and agents.

That's cool.

So... You're a tattoo artist?

Yeah, uh-huh.

For a little while now.

My early work is mostly primitive symbology, you know, peace signs, anchors.

Yin-yangs, that type of sh*t.

So you're a bearded guy magnet.

Yeah, it definitely attracts those I wish to repel.

For sure.

What about you? I mean, a pretty, smart Julliard dancer.

That's gotta put you on top of the food chain.

If I ate.

[chuckles]

Uh, no.

Yeah, here and there, I guess.

Nothing serious, though?

Heavens, no.

Heavens, no?

Why not? What about... What about other dancers?

Other dancers?

Yeah.

Okay, excuse me. I've gotta go press the flesh.

Okay.

Um, bathroom's this way, yeah?

Seriously, your ass and legs are exactly what I have in mind.

They're perfect.

Oh, well, thanks.

So, you'll come to Florida?

I'll put you up in a nice hotel.

Maestro, I can't let you do this.

You made me do the Mexican thumb kiss.

You're not Mexican. You're not going to go to hell.

No, Maestro...

It doesn't matter. It's fine, it's fine.

Please.

It's fine. Give me two minutes.

No, I can't give you two minutes.

Give me two minutes. It's under control, okay?

I have it fine.

Okay, but in two minutes, I'm going to come in there, And I'm going to...

Shh.

Forcibly remove you.

My message warned you to stay away.

I know.

But I didn't come to see you.

I came to listen to the music.

I couldn't leave without saying how exquisite your performance was.

Very sophisticated.

Very thoughtful.

You got me thinking.

And your technique with a bow.

Phew...

Even better than I remembered.

It's very nice for one's technique to practice bowing of a floating ice shelf.

I've been performing in Greenland, you know?

Yes, Greenland.

As part of my efforts to raise awareness about climate change.

You got arrested, right?

Yeah.

Three times.

Three times in Greenland.

We succeeded.

Anna Maria...

Nothing changes.

I guess your hair changed.

That's very funny.

But it's just hair.

I guess I'll be leaving now.

All right, going in.

Maestro, the car is...

Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Hey, Hailey!

Who is she?

Uh, me? I'm with the Maestro.

I mean, like, I work with him...

No.

Below him.

Underneath... Underneath him.

You kissed her?

What?

No!

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, she plays the oboe. No.

She's my assistant.

Then maybe I am seeing into the future.

Anna Maria, look into my eyes.

Calm down, look into my eyes.

Okay, no, no, no. Breath in. Breathe in a little bit.

[screaming in Spanish]

Oh, my God.

The day you left to conduct for Oslo you became disloyal, and faithless.

When you abandoned Mexico, when you broke with my family, you abandoned integrity.

For what? Celebrity?

The adoration of cheap little women?

No! No, she...

I told you, she plays the oboe.

Yeah, or maybe for some sickening pursuit of glory, who knows?

Glory?

Yeah.

You think this is about glory?

Yeah.

Glory is for football players.

I'm about the magic. I'm about the magic, okay?

Yeah?

Glory? Glory?

I'm leaving.

[speaks Spanish]

I'm leaving.

Baby, baby.

Que, Que, Que?

Just don't tell me I'm about the glory. Come on.

I'm sorry.

Aye.

Oh, baby.

What?

Let's... Let's not make a whole drama out of it.

No, don't make a drama.

We're adults now, okay?

Yeah. Of course.

Please, baby, I have one question.

When you go to sleep, in your luxury apartment late at night, your noise machine is drowning out all the sounds of the city below.

Yeah?

How do you feel then?

I see what you're trying to say, yeah.

Does it bring your ego pleasure, making dead music in your sterilized world?

Remarkable only for its lifeless artifice?

Don't say those things.

How do you feel then, mi Amor?

I see what you're saying. Ow.

You f*cking disgust me.

I disgust you?

Yeah.

Fine. Okay, let me go. Let me go.

Let me go. Okay.

You know what? I'm gonna go.

Okay? Okay, yeah.

Because I'm about the magic.

I'm about the magic.

This is going to be TBD, okay?

This is how they say it in this country.

TBD.

TBD?

TBD.

TBD, TBD.

[screaming in Spanish]

Hailey, [speaks Spanish]

I told you not to let me go in.

Didn't I? Eh?

[speaks Spanish]

[knocking]

Oh, hey, um, sorry it's so late.

Alex texted me and told me to come over after the show.

But my phone d*ed, and...

Yeah, he's asleep.

Oh, f*ck. Of course.

Um, okay, well, I brought you guys, like, this really shitty bottle of rosé.

Uh, as a congratulations.

Here, you should keep it.

Why don't you come in and we'll just wake him up and we can all drink it together?

Really?

Yeah, sounds like fun.

He's in my bed.

Oh.

He, like, fell asleep on your bed?

Yeah, he f*cking does it all the time.

I'm worried he's narcoleptic, or something.

Uh...

Hey, um...

We don't know each other very well.

Uh, but, do you mind if I ask you a question?

No, we're not f*cking.

I mean, we used to, but, uh... we kind of realized it was screwing with our dancing so we stopped, and that was 5 months ago.

That was your question, right?

Yeah. Well, I wasn't trying to be that blunt about it, or anything.

But...

Mmm, well, I have a bluntness problem.

So I'm told.

Um, but, absolutely no fuckage occurring between Alex and I.

Cool. No fuckage.

You know, I'm gonna hit the dusty trail.

I'm, like, super tired.

Why don't you guys just sleep in my bed and I'll sleep in his?

That's so sweet.

I just got to get up like, super early, so...

Is this what I said about us sleeping together?

Because, honestly, it's so, so over, and the bed thing, I feel like he just kinda got used to it.

No, my roommate does it all the time.

I totally understand.

You are a fantastic dancer, and I hope you enjoy the rosé.