01x07 - You Go to My Head

[bunniefuu]

So, any word from our friend Thomas?

Uh, right, none of my business, but, hey, you hook up with the bosses, you're bound to take the losses.

Now, if you were with an honest working man...

Hailey, is he flirting with me?

Bob, are you flirting with her?

Flirting? I wouldn't know how.

Excuse me, sir, you the performers?

You gotta swing around and park in the service area.

I don't make the rules.

You'd have to be a man of actual stature to do that.

Not someone wearing bunny ears.

There's the Maestro. Gotta go.

Man: Keep movin', keep movin.

Maestro!

Yes.

Hailey.

Hey.

Hey, crazy timing, right?

Yeah, how was your trip?

Ah, Hailey. Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.

Kerouac.

You have something very special, Hailey.

Like a deep river.

Oh. I was thinking more like a trickling stream.

Oh, a trickling stream, yes, trickling stream.

Anyway, I am here reporting for duty.

Yes, okay, your two assignments, okay?

Your first one: Can you get me an Arnold Palmer?

Have you heard about them?

Yes.

They're really good. I just discovered them.

I mean, it's crazy.

They're named after this very famous tennis player.

Golf, golfer.

What?

He's a golfer.

He was good at everything, okay?

Yeah.

And now your second assignment, which is the most important thing, basically, since we started to work together, I gave you many responsibilities, right?

Yes.

Okay, I have a responsibility towards you as well, and tonight I want you to explore, I want you to search for inspiration here.

Doesn't matter how it will appear, it will come from unexpected places, but you have to experience something.

Because that's what we need to get some dimension into what we do.

Woman: Maestro!

That's what we both need.

I'm so happy to see you.

Yes. Bunny, hey.

Wow! Is this your little cottage you were telling me about?

[laughing]

Crazy, right?

Gloria, will I ever escape you?

Oh, not if I can help it, Maestro.

You ready to raise some serious funds?

Some serious stuff, yes.

Serious. Not funny.

Serious.

You have to promise me not to let Gloria work you too hard.

But big donors are here...

Maestro, this party supports the arts, but trust me, there's no funds without the fun.

Maestro.

Thank you.

Now, I want you to relax, enjoy, mingle, just be your usual charming self, and the money will flow, I promise you.

Okay, okay, I'll just relax.

Oh, Marlin, there you are.

Marlin Guggenheim of the Connecticut Guggenheims.

I'm thinking of adopting him.

[laughing]

Oh, this is Alice Seminoff.

I'm sponsoring her.

♪♪[flute]

Brava, [speaks Spanish]

Bunny: Bravo!

[applause]

Miss.

Maestro, can we get one with you, please?

Maestro, Maestro, come, come, come, come.

Let's take a photograph. Here we are. Yes.

Man: Maestro.

Maestro, my cousin Ethan was your driver in Minneapolis...

Where is she?

Last year, I think you remember?

She's gone.

I've written a symphonic poem.

I thought if we could...

Maestro, could you please sign this?

Are you kidding me?

I'll sign it.

If you could just...

Okay. Minneapolis doesn’t ring a bell. Sorry.

We love his work very much.

Woman: Thank you for your help, dear.

Everything’s moving so fast.

It's hard for an old lady to keep up.

Totally, it's okay.

Yeah, the pink ones are definitely the Percocet, and the white are the Xanax.

Pink ones.

Well, that's the one that makes me feel all jiggly, and... great inside.

But how will I know the difference?

Uh, well, I could just hold onto the white ones for you so you don't get confused.

Lizzie, are you serious?

Bye.

Bye.

What the f*ck are you doin' here?

I'm working. What are you doing?

Uh, my mom and Bunny have been friends for, like, 200 years.

They’re literally vampires.

They suck the blood of anyone who didn't hitch a ride with them on the Mayflower.

Wow. I had no idea you were like a Daughter of the American Revolution.

Why didn't you ever tell me?

'Cause it's f*cking embarrassing.

Who gives a sh*t about that bullshit, you know?

But, yeah, I've been dragged to dinner parties and Easter egg hunts here all my life.

I know every nook and cranny.

Uh-oh! Looks like we found the Al Qaeda headquarters.

Don't tell anyone.

Get out of here, and shut the f*ckin' door.

Aren't you Elizabeth Campbell?

Uh, no.

Yeah.

We went to prep school together.

Don't you remember? Evan Byers.

Do I look like I went to prep school?

Well, do I?

No, ma'am.

No, ma'am.

Damn right.

And don't call me ma'am, you little douche bags.

Wow, Elizabeth.

Shut up.

He's kinda cute.

Evan Byers.

Yeah.

He's had, like, a hard on for me since I don't...

Can't remember when.

So, what are you doing, babysitting the Maestro?

No, actually, tonight I'm exploring and experiencing.

Oh.

Mm.

Well, I just got some downers from a little old lady.

You want to explore and experience that?

I mean, not really. Do you know who that man is in the yellow shirt over there?

I think his name’s Marlin or something?

Woman: Marlin Oscar Guggenheim IV.

Grew up in Newport and Beacon Hill, and single to boot.

Oh. [laughs]

And single to boot.

Wow.

[laughs] Hailey, I gotta say, he really doesn’t look like your type.

No, he's not my type. I just think he's very interesting.

Oh. Are you a little social climber?

No.

Why don't we just engage him in some very exploratory conversation?

No, we can't just go...

Hi, Marlin.

I'm Lizzie. This is Hailey.

She plays the oboe and she's looking for new experiences.

This is Marlin, he's from Beacon Hill, and a sensation of Newport, and a damn nifty dresser.

The rest is up to you two. Ciao.

She really knows things.

Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

Your earrings.

When I lived in Paris, I knew an actress who had the exact same earrings.

She was an incredible beauty, but also the most amusing and interesting person I’ve ever met.

You'll be performing in the garden area.

Just put the cello there for now.

In between sets, you are absolutely not to speak to the guests, or interact with them in any way.

That's classist. It's also prohibited by union rules.

This is a right-to-work mansion, mister.

Leave your union shenanigans at the door.

When not performing, you may sit at this table, and there are refreshments at hand.

Any questions?

Maestro: Yes, I have a question.

Has anyone seen this little blond girl who plays the flute like an angel?

She's... hey, hey! Cynthia.

Bob, Warren Boyd, Svetlana. What's up?

Are you guys playing? What are you playing?

Maestro, we're not allowed to speak with you.

We are merely humble itinerant players.

Also not allowed to eat anything but these really stale tuna sandwiches.

Maestro, I'm sorry, but Miss Sheiffelbein insists that...

No, no, no, no, no. No. No.

Mm. The little black eggs. What are they called?

Caviar.

Caviar. Mm. Let's have some.

It's really good.

Mm. Really, really good.

Okay. Mm.

Maestro, please.

I must maintain some sort of...

Mm. You have to eat what you make.

It's so good.

Salmon maker, please, have some.

Yes. And flower arrangements.

They were lovely, huh?

All the oysters, all the foie gras, everything, all the plates, it's down here in the dining room.

Bob, if you want to play like a god, you better eat like one, okay?

Yeah.

Follow me.

He may f*ck with our bathroom breaks, but I have to admit, I like Rodrigo more and more.

He does have an undeniable charm.

So, you've abandoned your old maestro already.

It's Cynthia, isn't it?

Have you heard from him?

Yes. Yes, I have.

You okay?

Right. None of my f*ckin' business.

Woman: He inherited 5 million from his mother. Then immediately lost 2 million...

♪♪

Gloria: I've been hearing it all over town. All this gossip about bringing Thomas back. It has to stop, Edward, really. I mean, we don't even know where he is.

Well, maybe I don’t want it to stop.

Edward. I understand change can be difficult.

Yeah, don't talk to me like I'm a child, Gloria.

You want my money, I get to have an opinion. A big loud one.

Thank you.

Claire, would you please just talk some sense into him?

Don't look at me until you explain to me why that woman is here playing the cello.

Bunny arranged the music.

Really, I'm sure it was just an oversight.

Yes, except Bunny doesn't do oversight, does she?

So tell me, what is it like to work for Rodrigo de Souza?

It's amazing. I mean, one minute I'm making some weird herbal Peruvian tea, and the next I’m transcribing a concerto from 200 years ago.

I mean, he's crazy, but he's amazing and he’s poetic, and...

And you're obviously in love with him.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Yes, obviously.

No, no, no.

No. The only problem is that I'm his assistant, and I wish I could be playing my oboe for him.

Well, you're young.

There's still time.

I don't know about that. I'm 26.

There isn't a single soloist who didn't have a major position in the orchestra by the time they were 30.

I'm a ticking time b*mb.

Woman: Just one last question, Maestro.

My nephew Jonathan is a senior at the Oberlin Conservatory, and...

Oh, good.

You're his absolute hero.

Do you have any advice for him?

Yeah, yeah, my advice would be, um, that he should read widely, he should travel extensively, and under no circumstances, he should never, ever, ever tattoo the name of his lover on his ass ever.

Okay, I have to go. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I have to go.

[ringing]

[applause]

We have 10,000. Now, who will give me 15?

15... 15,000. Oh, 15 thou...

People, 15,000,that's a paltry sum for the honor of striking the triangle in the rapturous final moments of Mahler's fifth symphony.

[triangle ringing]

Patrick, I know you have it, I just spoke to your broker.

[laughter]

Did you find your flaxen-haired little angel?

No.

She sadly continues to elude me.

Perhaps it’s a metaphor.

You know, I sometimes wonder.

Do we raise the money to make the music, or do we make the music to raise the money?

We're like the snake eating its own tail.

And you hear a young person and play her flute so beautifully.

Then it all makes sense, yes?

Sold to Patrick Donten for $30,000!

[applause]

Now, what's next?

How about a violin recital from our very own Maestro?

That's not on my list, Edward.

Please behave yourself.

No, I'm serious, Gloria.

I'll write a check for $200,000 to hear Rodrigo de Souza play the violin for us tonight.

The Maestro no longer plays the violin in public.

Everyone knows that.

No, but, uh, thank you, Gloria, but I...

I feel weirdly inspired to make an exception tonight.

After all, Mr. Beiben is a good friend of Thomas Pembridge.

And for that alone, and a donation of $300,000, how could I refuse?

You have yourself a deal.

Who has a violin?

[applause]

Bring a violin.

Oh, yes.

Kick his ass, Maestro.

Oh, yeah, gracias, Bob.

So, Mr. Beiben, what would you like to listen to?

Perhaps a humble song from my home country.

Or, uh, is that too illegal for you?

[laughter]

No, no, I’ll leave it up to you.

Although, I understand you sometimes have trouble making up your mind about what to play.

[laughs] Yes, I... That's very funny.

Yeah, because I...

We're like two little school children fighting over in a playground full of Neanderthals.

[laughter]

I have that image, I don't know why.

Okay, I know what I’m gonna play.

I know what I’m gonna play.

[playing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"]

[applause]

Thank you. Thank you.

No, that was amusing, but, uh, I don't think I'd call your little ditty a proper return on my investment.

But I'm just getting started, Edward.

As you know, this is a very simple tune, but one of our greatest composers spun magic out of this one.

I'm sure as a lover of classical music, you know who composed this variation.

Okay, for $300,000 that I'm gonna donate, can you tell me who composed the variation on this little... How did you call it?

A ditty?

[laughter]

[playing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" variation]

[applause]

So tell me, Edward, for $300,000, who composed this?

I'm afraid I have no idea.

Do you want to call a friend?

[laughter]

It was none other than Wolfgang Amadeus...

All: Mozart.

Thank you very much for those 300,000...

[explosions]

Not to worry!

It's just the children having fun.

[explosions]

[laughter]

Don't get it on me, boys!

[explosions]

Yeah!

Oh, please. Don't start.

How many times do I have to tell you?

I'm not your precious Elizabeth.

It was nice talking with you.

No, you're Lizzie now.

Which is commonly used as the diminutive form of Elizabeth.

Wow, I just love it when you talk dirty to me.

I get it.

I mean, you were always kind of a freak.

Most of the other kids couldn’t deal with it, which I'm guessing only made you want to be more different.

Wow, so besides being a giant bore, you're like a regular Sigmund Freud in Dockers now, huh?

Do you remember Halloween, eighth grade?

That party at Tommy Kline's place?

I mean, everyone was dressed as Harry Potter or Frodo or...

If you were really lame, I'd believe you could come as a cell phone.

Yeah, but not you, Elizabeth.

Yeah, I'm going to the bar.

No, you came as Billie Holliday.

I mean, I didn't even know who Billie Holliday was.

You wore that vintage dress with that white gardenia in your hair, and out of the blue you just... you began to sing that song, it was...

Oh, man.

"You Go To My Head."

"You Go To My Head."

And everything just stopped.

Anyway, I never forgot it.

That's all I wanted to tell you.

Hey, wait a second.

Do you want to fill this up for me?

Okay.

Cool.

What the f*ck are you waiting for?

No, no, no, no, no.

Thank you.

Hey, call it our tip.

Bob, I hate to admit it, but I kind of like your style.

[glass breaking distantly]

Finalmente.

Hello.

He loves this cake.

Alice, my name is Rodrigo.

My mother showed me a video on YouTube, but you've cut of fall your hair.

Yeah. Yeah, too many people were liking it.

That's a weird reason.

Most people want to be liked.

Yeah, but not necessarily for your hair.

I heard you play, Alice.

You play beautifully.

With such power, such...

So many questions I want to ask you.

Okay, but can we stay here?

Yeah.

Yeah, if he’s okay with it.

So, tell me, Alice, who's your favorite composer?

Well, I like Debussy, and Chopin.

Oh, and Katy Perry, but my teacher never let's me play any of her songs.

I can relate.

You know, I wanted to play the song called.

"Walking On The Moon," by this band called The Police, but my parents were so against The Police, and it was just...

I mean, it doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter. Nothing matters when you like music, right?

But when you're talented, and you are, you have to sacrifice everything for the music.

You're expected to sacrifice everything for the music.

Are you willing to do that, Alice?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.

I'm sorry.

What do you feel when you play?

Well, when I playin front of my teacher, I'm mostly thinking about how I don't want to make a mistake.

But when I'm home and I play to myself, I really don’t think at all.

And when I finish, it's like waking from a dream.

Yes. I understand.

Why are you sad?

Woman: Alice, it's way past your bedtime.

We really have to leave.

You have a very beautiful and talented daughter.

Woman: Thank you.

If I can be of any help, reach out to me.

Okay?

Alice.

Buenas noches.

Little angel.

I am not sad at all.

Woman: Alice, come on, let's go.

So, did you always want to play the oboe?

Oh, when I was five, we went to this Christmas recital, and there was this girl and she was playing the oboe, and I like, turned to my mom and I said,

"Mommy, I want one of those little black sticks."

And [laughs] she ignored me.

And then three weeks later I woke her up in the middle of the night, and I said, "Mommy, where's my little black stick?"

And, um, she got me one and that was that.

Yeah. You figured something out about yourself, something deep, hm?

Like a Math prodigy does or a chess genius, you knew it.

Or maybe I just really liked the way it looked.

No. It's more than that.

Yeah, I mean, you're right.

By the time I was eight, I was practicing five hours a day.

I literally did nothing else.

I was like a little alien who lived on an alternate planet from normal children.

I had my oboe and I had the music, which was always running through my head.

And, um, then eventually I found the other aliens.

That made things really worthwhile.

Now you're trying to join the mothership.

Yeah, the symphony hall.

Hm. Sorry if this is the most boring conversation ever.

It's the opposite of boring. Are you joking?

Really?

Yeah.

You're telling me the story of how you invented yourself.

It's the most important thing in the world.

Everyone wants to do it, not many can.

Most aren't brave enough.

How come you’re so easy to talk to?

Well, you make a mistake.

You're easy to listen to.

I'm surprised you missed that.

Would you do me a favor?

Yeah, of course.

Teach me to play.

The oboe?

Yeah, the oboe.

I want to play. Just one song.

A beautiful song.

Please?

Yes, of course.

All right.

♪ You go to my head ♪
♪ With a smile that makes my temperature rise ♪
♪ Like a summer with a thousand Julys ♪
♪ You intoxicate my soul with your eyes ♪

Morning, Maestro.

Hey, good morning.

How are you?

I'm playing the beautiful game with my beautiful new friends.

Good.

Look at this.

Vamanos. Quiero ahi happiness.

Okay. Vamanos.

[speaking Spanish]

Ahh!

Maestro!

Are you okay?

[siren waling]

Hailey, did you finish your assignment, Hailey?

I did, Maestro.

I explored and I experienced.

And I may have found a little inspiration, too.

Hailey, that's so cool.

Then it was worth it.

♪♪[piano]

Hailey.

♪ You go to my head ♪
♪ And you linger like a haunting refrain ♪
♪ Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne ♪
♪ You go to my head ♪
♪ With a smile that makes my temperature rise ♪
♪ Like a summer with a thousand Julys ♪
♪ You intoxicate my soul with your eyes ♪
♪ And I'm certain that this heart of mine ♪
♪ Hasn't a ghost of a chance ♪
♪ In this crazy romance ♪
♪ You go to my head ♪