03x08 - Miracles

[bunniefuu]

The Wilkes are strangers.

Families are hard.

But what if the Wilkes are amazing?

The reason that we're so much alike is because we're cousins.

The way it works with family is you get out what you put in and you've put in nothing.

It just hurts knowing that I can't be a part of it.

Well, maybe the Wilkes will come around.

Lynly: I might have made a teensy mistake and told Lavon we're together.

All that time you're looking me in the eye and didn't tell me.

Lynly and I, we're not going away.

So, you can bury your head in the sand or you can grow up and you can accept it.

I was letting the past hold me back, but no more.

There's something that I really need to show you.

Just to confirm, that is the woman that you were engaged to.

Oh, my Lord.

And.... of course.

Hey, Vivian.

Don't you wear shoes?

Funny story. Joel's grandmother's visiting and she needed hair spray right away.

And the Dixie Stop isn't open yet, so...

Hilarious.

Right?

Hey, how are you?

Did you happen to get those apology balloons I sent?

And do you accept?

Yes and no.

No, you didn't get the balloons?

I have a receipt.

No, you are not forgiven for crashing my son's birthday party ...and lying to my family.

Oh. Okay. Well, that's too bad.

Joel's grandmother, she is here for Hanukkah, and I bet I know what you're thinking, Hanukkah already?

Clearly you don't.

Yes, I know, it is early.

Crazy early, right?

So, his grandfather d*ed just last year, and Grandma Sylvie came all the way to BlueBell to celebrate because family is so very, very important, as is forgiveness.

Please hurry. I beg you.

I'll bag myself.

And so she's cooking this very large Hanukkah dinner tomorrow night, and I was thinking that maybe you and some of the other Wilkes could stop by.

Put all this weird stuff behind us.

Dr. Hart, we're not gonna put it behind us.

Ever. Let it go.

Just the hair spray.

Lavon: That's a lot of pancakes there.

Yes. I'm very hungry.

So excited for the Harvest Festival.

And Danielle Bradbery's playing?

Huge score, Lavon.

You're bringing those to George, aren't you?

He's in the carriage house.

Lavon, George and I are a couple now.

I hope you'll start accepting that.

Zoe: Hey, guys.

Uh... that breakfast is for people who actually live here.

Oh, come on, I've been up for hours, and I'm starving.

Also, I need a favor.

Okay, so Joel's grandma, Sylvie...

Sweet, old, recently widowed Sylvie... she wants to make Hanukkah dinner tomorrow night, but Joel and I, we don't have a kitchen, or a dining room, so I was hoping that maybe we could have it here.

Pretty please.

No problem. Hanukkah dinner.

Cool.

Oh, thank you.

Lynly: Sorry to be so ignorant, but what does Hanukkah celebrate exactly?

It's the festival of lights.

Mm. Sounds beautiful.

But why the lights?

To honor the Jews' triumph against oppression.

Nice. By whom?

Hmm?

(chuckles) You have no idea, do you?

Please.

There was the oil that b*rned for eight days.

There were Maccabees involved.

Potato pancakes.

(singsongy): Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel.

Wade: Mmm... (door closes) Pancakes.

Yum.

Anyway...

You all are invited to Hanukkah dinner.

Even you, Wade, because, for whatever reason, Joel loves you.

Aw, I love him, too.

Ow!

I mean... wow.

Hanukkah.

(chuckles): Wade, you best see a dentist, man.

What? You best see a shrink 'cause y'all are crazy.

I didn't even want that stupid apple.

I want pancakes. That's what I want.

Hey, uh...

Yeah.

(Brick exhales loudly)

Daddy... What are you doing?

Oh, I'm doing exactly what I have been doing since we saw Shelby.

I'm freaking out.

Okay, listen, I know that seeing her condition was unsettling.

(laughs): Oh, unsettling?

There have been cataclysmic earthquakes that have been less unsettling.

I'm having a baby!

A baby. At my age.

I have to call my banker and liquidate some assets.

Yeah, 'cause Shelby, she's going to need a-a safer car and a, oh, and a very, very, very good nanny.

Maybe a house.

(gasps): Classic Shelby.

No one's even spoken to her, and she's already finagled her way into a house.

No, I-I intend to speak with her today.

Oh, no, Daddy, you can't.

Had you not seen the light at the last minute, you'd be married to her right now.

Oh, she does, she... does have an effect on me.

Listen, you are to go straight to your office. Don't even look up.

Okay? I will figure out if Shelby's spawn is actually your baby and my future sibling, and we'll determine a course of action from there.

It's going to be fine, Daddy.

Okay? Remember.

Straight to the office.

I feel like Lavon is definitely coming around.

Still, we should probably avoid the carriage house for a while.

Yeah, I think we should, too, because the last thing we want to have happen is him bust in on us while we're, uh...

Lemon, knock! We are occupied!

And naked.

Yes, yes, it's nothing I haven't seen before. Hello, Lynly.

George, there are matters more important than your carnal pleasures.

Shelby's back, she bought Fancie's, and she's about seven months pregnant.

No...!

Who's Shelby?

Brick's ex-girlfriend.

Of about seven months.

Ooh...

And Daddy's about to fall back into her clutches.

And since Shelby is your fault, you get to help me prevent this.

Wait, how is she George's fault?

Shelby and I dated first.

So, your ex-fiancée's father dated your ex-girlfriend?

Yes, right before he started dating Wade's ex-wife.

It's a small town... catch up.

And seven months ago, Shelby did not have the money to buy a fancy restaurant like Fancie's, so...

She's got a sugar daddy.

Well, let's hope so.

A sugar daddy with very potent sperm.

I'll speak to Frank, see what I can dig up.

I'll find out about the Fancie's sale.

I'll be the sexy, wisecracking sidekick.

We'll rendezvous at noon.

Okay, so we got the brisket.

Obviously...

There you are, Zoe, sweetheart.

Hi.

Hey.

Oh...

Thank you for saving my updo.

I know it was a lot to ask.

Oh, no, no, not at all.

You want something to eat?

Oh, no, you know what? I-I can't.

I have to rush to the office.

I just came to say hi.

Oh, a doctor.

Just saying the word fills me with pride.

My late husband and I wanted Joel to become one.

I was short-listed for the National Book Award, but, you know...

(laughs): So, what are you two up to today?

We're planning our menu for Hanukkah dinner, which is going to be great.

It is such an honor to eat at the mayor's.

And I am so excited to meet all of Joely's friends, like the wonderful Wade he keeps talking about.

Oh, and, Zoe, I am so excited to meet your family.

Of course you'll invite them, right?

Yeah, I did, but they're not coming.

I just completely and utterly blew it with the Wilkes.

But it's done, and they're never going to accept me now.

Zoe, angel, this is Hanukkah.

Hanukkah is a time for miracles.

Oh, no, here she goes.

Look, Nana, Zoe does not need to hear your whole spiel.

Hey, hey, no.

I think it is very important that we are reminded of the meaning of Hanukkah.

Hanukkah is a time to expect the unexpected.

A time for reuniting with people who matter.

Brick Breeland.

I was wondering when I was going to run into you.

Shelby. Hi.

I have huge news.

Huge. Guess.

Uh, wh... I-I don't know.

I bought Fancie's and I'm turning it into a cabaret.

No words, huh?

You are as adorable and as sexy as the day you dumped me.

Which you were right to do.

No hard feelings, I was selfish then.

I'm really working on myself.

We have got to catch up.

You, me, Harvest Festival, tomorrow?

Yeah.

Bye!

Ooh.

Sylvie: Hanukkah is a time for old friends to show up when you need them the most.

Yeah, you know, my tooth healed all on its own, so you can go ahead and cancel, uh, that appointment.

(groans softly)

Still scared of the dentist, you wimp?

Tansy?

Wasn't there something about the Maccabees and w*r?

Sure. All that, too.

But the point is that Hanukkah is a magical time.

Your family will come around.

Thank you, Sylvie, but when it comes to the Wilkes, I don't think a miracle's coming my way.

The Jews thought the same thing about the oil in the temple.

Eight days it lasted.

Brick: Hello, Zoe.

Don't you look nice?

Patient for you in exam three.

Squirrel bite.

Why can't you take it?

Oh, you're gonna want this patient.

Why?

It's Brando Wilkes.

(whispers): Brando Wilkes? My great uncle?

Or my second cousin? My relative is here?

(gasps)

Hanukkah miracles do exist.

Thanks.

Yeah. Maybe they do.

(laughs)

(car horn honks)

(seagulls calling)

(birds singing)

Season 3, Episode 8

"Miracles"

Vivian would maim me if she knew I was here.

Well, luckily the squirrel b*at her to it.

You know, Harley was my brother?

I am horrified to admit that I didn't realize that.

But you do look a lot like him.

Your father was a great man, but whoa, terrible card player.

We used to play during his lunch break.

52 years ago this very day, I took my winnings over to the Harvest Festival, met my wife.

Oh, is that why you're in BlueBell today, your anniversary?

No, Margaret May d*ed two years ago last month.

Oh.

Miss her every day.

But I'm keeping myself busy, taking art classes, seniors' slow pitch softball, though Vivian's always getting on me to be careful.

Well, Vivian may have a point there.

So, just a tetanus sh*t and you're all set.

You're good at this.

Your daddy would've been proud.

Zoe...

...Keep trying.

Vivian and the rest might come around... one day.

What if you came around?

Will you have lunch with me a-and Joel and his grandma?

Please?

(chuckles)

I won't tell Vivian if you don't.

Mm-mm.

(chuckles)

Okay, pal, your new appointment is at 3:00.

You just bought yourself another couple hours, but I'm gonna be following you around, make sure you go to that dentist. Just...

We need to sit on this bench for a while.

Why? Are we casing the joint?

(chuckles) No.

I'm saving up for my own chair in a beauty shop, so...

Scott, Scooter, you know, my boyfriend...

McGreevy...

Hooked me up with an amazing opportunity to earn some extra cash.

Which is what exactly?

You're about to see.

Hi, there.

Are you Agnes Butler-Hicket?

Yes, I am. Who are you?

Please don't be mad.

This is for you.

You've, um, been served.

Guess your husband needs that divorce.

Maybe it's a blessing.

How dare you?! Who do you think you are?!

Now, this is none of your business!

I know. I...

Run!

Oh, yeah.

This is an incredible opportunity!

Come on, Dolly!

Get out of here!

Run, girl! You get!

Hi, guys.

I have a special guest.

Uh, Sylvie, this is Brando Wilkes.

Brando, you remember Joel.

Uh, yeah, hi.

Oh, oh, hi. Hi.

Sylvie: Wilkes.

Well, I knew someone in your family would come to their senses.

Hanukkah, miracles. Sit.

It is so, so good to see you, Brando.

Brando, huh?

What a... unusual name.

Oh, my real name is Vernon.

They call me Brando on account of my Marlon Brando impressions.

(quietly): How did this happen?

He came into my office.

I think he's the first Wilkes to actually like me.

(bad Brando impersonation): "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse."

Wow, that is... that is...

That's good.

Don Corleone, right here in Alabama.

That is remarkable.

Hey, you both like The Godfather.

What are the odds?

Hey, do you know that you both take art classes?

Sylvie: Oh, I'm not very good.

Oh, I'm awful.

Oh, well, it keeps me young.

Brando: You don't need anything to keep you young.

(chuckles, mutters)

Uh, what is that? What is that with the hair?

Flirting.

Grandma Sylvie is putting the mack in Maccabees.

(Brando and Sylvie chuckle)

Babs and Edward came up empty.

(sighs) So did Frank.

And there's no sugar daddy.

So I guess this means it's my daddy's baby.

Yeah, but Brick is a responsible adult.

I'm sure that he can be the father to this child without having to get back together with Shelby.

Hey. Guess who I ran into.

Well, Lord help us.

What did she have to say?

Oh, she said I was adorable and handsome as ever.

No, Daddy, about the baby.

Oh. Well, i-it didn't come up.

But I think we all know the answer to that question.

I'll verify it tomorrow.

We have a date for the Harvest Festival.

Uh, I... think that is a very bad idea.

After an afternoon with her, who knows what kind of promises you'll make.

Why is she here?

Look, look, I appreciate your concern, but I'm a grown man, and I expect to be treated that way.

So before I get angry, go.

Get out of here. Now, go on. Get.

I have a gift to wrap.

Yeah.

(quietly): You know, if you really want to get through to him, you can do the unthinkable.

(groans)

Call Grandma Bettie.

(whimpers)

Sylvie: This is so interesting seeing this town through your eyes, Brando.

I mean, there's so much history.

Do you know that Brando met his dearly departed wife right in that hay maze?

52 years we were together.

Well, I was with my Jerry 55.

Oh. I've been lonely without her, but, you know, for the first time in a long while, I'm not feeling so lonely.

That is so sweet.

You know what? I think it's about time to wrap things up.

Uh, Nana, if we're gonna bake rugelach tomorrow, we should go to the store.

Well, you know, actually, I thought, uh, Brando and I could take a little walk and then maybe hit bingo at the Rec Center tonight.

That would be divine.

Uh-oh.

"Of all the gin joints in the world..."

Uh, Vivian, I know what you must be thinking.

You said you'd be home three hours ago.

When you didn't show up, I presumed you'd been kidnapped.

I see now I was right.

It was an amazing coincidence, actually.

After I ran into you this morning, Brando came into my office, and I invited him to lunch.

I-It was only lunch.

Brando: B-But now I'm staying for Bingo.

I've got a date.

With me.

I am Sylvie Stephens, Joel's grandmother.

Pleasure to meet any relative of my Zoe.

Oh, Sylvie, I'm sure you're lovely, but, um, Brando, did you forget? Loretta June, her piano recital.

Oh, gosh. That doesn't even ring a bell.

Uh, must have forgotten.

Zoe.

Joel.

"I'll be back."

His Schwarzenegger is phenomenal.

Sylvie, I hope we meet again one day.

Vivian: I can't believe you.

Manipulating the heart of an old man just so you can get my family to accept you?

How selfish can you be?

But I wasn't. This just...

Stay away from us. I mean it.

(sighs)

All right, Wade, moment of truth.

I can't do it.

I hate the noise.

I hate the music they play in the waiting rooms.

I hate the-the pain.

(sighs)

I hate the fact they ask you questions, then expect you to answer while their hand's halfway down your throat.

I've been having some trouble sleeping lately, on account of the new job, so the doctor gave me pills.

For anxiety.

Tansy, you do realize a job which requires you to medicate probably isn't a good job.

It's the worst. I hate it.

There, I said it.

But it's good money.

And Scott had to pull a lot of strings.

So quit.

Wade, how many of those did you just take?

You're only supposed to take one.

Oh, I did take one.

Plus two for good luck.

So, Bertram's paternity has been confirmed?

Well, Grandma Breeland, not confirmed but highly suspected.

And this... Shelby, she's everything I've heard?

Lemon: Oh, she's a materialistic, selfish flake, and Daddy is a gelatinous pile of goo around her.

So, they have a date tomorrow, Grandma, which is why we must speak to him tonight.

Put up a united front.

Would it be too much for you to... thr*aten to cut him out of your will if he sees her?

Consider it handled.

(giggles)

Joel: Lavon, it is so great of you to let us use your kitchen.

Thank you so much.

Well, it's my first Hanukkah.

And plus Burt Reynolds loves fried potatoes, so...

Uh...

(quietly): Um, is she okay?

No. Thanks to my meddling girlfriend.

What'd you do?

I tried to bring joy to two seniors in need.

She set Sylvie up with Brando Wilkes.

You pimped out Joel's nana to get in with your family?

Look, I wanted to have lunch with my uncle.

I didn't think that him and Sylvie were gonna hit it off like they did.

But I'm glad that they did, because she is lonely and needs connection.

Hey, my grandpa only d*ed a year ago.

Sylvie's heart can't take any more pain.

Who says she's in pain?

Look at her.

She looks sad.

She looks very sad.

Maybe she's happily remembering the lunch she had with a very talented impressionist.

Sylvie: I hope you aren't arguing about me.

Joel: Oh, no. Not at all.

No, we were... we were arguing about politics.

Mmm.

Health care. I'm pro.

Because I'm a doctor.

Like you wish Joel was.

Sylvie: You know, I think I should give you kids the night.

We can bake tomorrow.

What? No, no. Nana, come on.

Hang out with us.

We'll make dinner and, um, see a movie?

Eh, you don't need your old nana hanging around.

Besides, I had quite a day, and I think I'm gonna go to senior bingo.

Oh, hey. Uh, I'll walk you out.

Well, bye, Nana.

Okay, fine, she's sad.

I'm sorry.

That's all right.

She'll have fun at senior bingo.

But, hey, promise me, from now on, no more gentleman callers.

No. I promise. Of course.

Okay.

(phone chimes) Oh.

Hmm. Dash threw out his back rehearsing for his So You Think You Can Dance audition video.

Be back in an hour.

Mother?

What is going on here?

Well, this is... this is sort of an intervention.

We know that this Shelby problem is beyond your control.

Brick: Whoa, whoa.

There is no Shelby problem.

And my social life is my own business.

Bertram, you are a Breeland.

Yet here you are, flouncing around, having illegitimate children like some tacky Wilkes.

Precisely.

So that's the reason you're gonna do the right thing by this child.

You're gonna marry that woman.

What?!

Mrs. Breeland...

What is happening?

Brick: Well, well.

Well, for the first time in 50 years, I agree with you, Mom.

Ha!

(chuckles)

Great. Doing good. Come on.

Sit right down.

Okay.

(chuckles)

Okay, cowboy, one more person to serve and I'll get you home.

You are so nice to take care of me.

(chuckles) Thanks. We'll talk when you're not hallucinating.

I'm not hallucinating.

I'm seeing the truth.

You are so kind.

You're the best ex-wife I ever had.

Y-You shouldn't be a process-erer.

Server-erer.

Process servicer.

Uh... I'll be back in five minutes.

Do not move from this bench.

(chuckles) Why would I?

I love this bench.

Do you realize that someone, somewhere, made this bench?

Okay... Come on, Dolly.

And that light.

It's beautiful.

I just want to walk into the light.

(crickets chirping softly)

Zoe.

Oh!

Oh, Brando.

What are you doing here?

Loretta June didn't have a piano recital tonight.

Vivian made it up to drag me away from your family.

Well, she really, really doesn't like me, huh?

Well, she's been going through a hard time lately.

And let's face it, you're an easy scapegoat.

But she's taking this all too far.

On behalf of my family, I apologize.

Thank you.

That means a lot.

But I-I'm not here solely to atone.

I'm...

I'm looking for Sylvie.

Oh, Brando, I don't think that's a good idea.

I-I promised Joel.

What you did today, connecting two lost souls, well, it's just like Sylvie said, a miracle, Zoe.

She's playing bingo at the Rec Center.

Oh.

Maybe Hanukah is Jewish Valentine's Day.

Sure. Why not?

You know, it makes about as much sense as the dreidel.

(laughs)

♪

Wade?

Hey!

I am in the best mood.

So, my uncle came into the office today.

He had a squirrel bite, but that's beside...

You...

There.

♪
♪ (groans softly)

Oh, wow.

I'm guessing that dream last night wasn't so much a dream.

Look... Zoe, I-I was on Tansy's anxiety meds.

I didn't mean to...

Stop. I don't want to hear excuses.

I just want you to promise that it will never, ever happen again.

I'm with Joel. I am happy with Joel.

I know.

Okay? And I am...

I'm very sorry.

Would you please just not tell him?

He's a good guy, and, you know, he and I are kind of pals now.

I will never tell him, because nothing happened.

I get it.

Nothing happened.

Nothing at all.

That's where you disappeared to last night?

(clicks tongue) Oh, Wade!

Well, it was the pills, not me.

You told me the pills made you see the truth.

But that was the pills talking, too.

You know, they're-they're wily.

Lucky you ran into me when you did, 'cause you need a good talking to.

(quiet chuckle)

♪

Zoe: Hey!

Where's Sylvie?

Wha...?

I thought she was with you... she was supposed to meet me here a half hour ago.

Huh. That's weird.

Maybe she slept in.

Sylvie Stephens has woken up promptly at 5:30 a.m. every morning since the Kennedy Administration.

Look, I'm sure she's fine.

It's BlueBell... what kind of trouble could she get into?

Dr. Hart, I just heard from my cousin Emmy that Brando was out all night.

What? Weird!

My family's freakin' out.

He's never disappeared like this.

I'll tell you what, I'll head to the bed-and-breakfast, you check the rest of the fair, okay?

Yes, I... and I will...

Vivian, wait up!

Whoa, so Brick is gonna propose?

Looks like it.

Poor guy. Whew!

Question - if Shelby's so nutso, why did you date her?

Well, someone told me to go sow my wild oats, so I sowed 'em.

Hey, Daisy.

Don't you smile at me.

And, you, be careful.

Don't tell me... you dated her, too?

It's a small town.

Yeah. So tiny.

Yeah, I'm sure this is totally innocent, you know?

Brando and Sylvie were sweet... you should have seen them together.

I don't recall asking your opinion.

(ringtone plays) Oh.

Ooh, that's Joel.

Maybe he found them.

Okay. Bad news... They are not at the bed-and-breakfast.

But good news... they did both sleep there last night.

Okay, maybe that's also bad news.

My grandfather doesn't need to get involved with a woman who is leaving tomorrow.

You're the one that lied and made up some fictional recital.

Look, Brando found me... what was I supposed to do, ignore him?

Why not? You seemed to be able to ignore us for two years.

Okay, that hurt a little.

(sighs): You know...

Why don't we just go check the hay maze, and not speak.

I think the opening of my cabaret should be "Come to the Cabaret."

Unless you think that's too on the nose.

Oh, no, no. I could do something contemporary.

Shelby: I've been workin' on my twerkin'. Oh!

Oh! Hey, I think you can do whatever you put your mind to.

You are such a gem, you know that?

Which is why I want to share some news.

Well, and-and I am prepared to hear it.

I'm sure you didn't notice, since I'm carrying so small, (whispers): but... I'm pregnant.

What?

Wow!

Oh, congratulations!

I am positive that having a baby is gonna make me such a better person.

Am I glowing?

Positively radiant.

Yeah. And just out of curiosity...

Who's the lucky guy?

Well...

I am sure this is gonna come as quite a shock, but...

♪

Hey!

(soft groan) You guys should have called.

Vivian's very worried.

(chuckles)

Seriously? What were you thinking?

Of all the women in all the world, you had to find the nearest relation to her?

Oh, we're not related.

Not yet, dear.

Vivian: Is anyone else besides me gonna take this seriously?

You two are behaving irresponsibly and recklessly.

Vivian Wilkes, that is enough.

I know you're going through something, and I'm sorry Charles left, but you got to stop taking his betrayal out on everyone else.

Ooh.

I shouldn't have said that.

I'll handle this.

You two resume canoodling.

Ah.

Uh, just wait for me to leave first.

Hey, you wanna bite of...? You wanna...?

No. Yeah, see, you'll get...

George Tucker, how cute are you!

Shelby!

Shelby, Lynly.

Lynly, Shelby.

Great, now everyone has met. Great.

I have heard so, so much about you.

None of our dirty secrets, I hope.

Kiddin'.

(laughs)

Lynly, you're adorable.

Love that top.

We'll exchange shopping secrets.

And y'all got to come to the opening of my cabaret; it's gonna blow your mind!

(clears throat)

So, is there any woman today we're gonna run into that you haven't dated?

Like that lady there, selling marmalade (George chuckles)

Yeah, that's hilarious.

Shut up. Kiss me.

Ew. No, no, no!

My eyes!

Wow, Lavon, hi!

This festival is amazing.

You did a fantastic job.

Yes, you did. This is the best one ever.

I cannot wait to see Danielle Bradbery.

Yeah. It's gonna be great.

Yeah.

Well, I should, uh...

Lavon, hey, hold on.

All right, look, you and I, we're friends, and you and Lynly, you guys are cousins, and Lynly and I are good together, so...

All day we've run into George's ex-girlfriends!

Really? That's how we're defending this now?

Yes. Because you haven't given them a second look.

My ex was always looking over my shoulder, wondering who was better out there.

I don't feel that with George.

He makes me feel safe.

Can't you see that?

(sighs)

(chuckles)

Grandma, you are making an enormous mistake.

Daddy will not be happy with Shelby.

Well, of course he won't.

I'm aware that this Shelby is just a shallow, money-grabbin' harlot, but thanks to you and your hooligan sister, enough shame has fallen on this family.

(wry laugh) And marrying Shelby's gonna help?

Oh, yes.

I'm gonna keep my eye on this baby.

I intend to see that he or she is raised right.

Bertram's new child will not disappoint me.

Third time's the charm.

Grandma! (giggles)

Daddy, are you okay?

I am not the father.

Shelby was artificially inseminated.

(gasps)

(laughs)

Is this some kind of joke?

You brought me down here, filled me with hope for the first time in years, and then just whisked it away?

Mother, I am so sorry if you are disappointed that my ex-girlfriend is not carrying my illegitimate love child.

And there is a sentence I never thought I'd be saying.

Lemon: You know, it was wrong to call you, and it won't happen again.

Oh!

Oh, I had such high hopes for you, my handsome son, the doctor.

And you?

I thought I was molding you in my image.

Where did I go wrong?!

Don't y'all know that I'm up all night, every night, worrying sick about what's gonna happen to you?

Don't you idiots know that I love you?!

Oh! (crying)

(thudding, Lemon gasps)

(Bettie screaming, Lemon gasps)

Mother?!

(gasps)

You know who's single?

Thelma Price. You should date her.

The librarian? Hell, no.

She hates my guts.

And, besides, my dance card is very, very full right now.

Full of airheads!

I'm worried about you, Wade.

You're not taking care of yourself.

What you talking about?

Rammer Jammer's solid, run a place on my own.

I even took up fly fishing.

But you haven't been going to the dentist.

A lot of people have fears about the dentist, okay?

Look it up.

But you know what people with healthy teeth have?

Someone in their life making them go to the dentist.

I'll make you a deal.

I will start looking for a better class of women to date if you quit that job of yours.

It's dangerous, and it sucks.

I need the money, Wade.

Work here.

You know, it'll take longer to save up for that chair, but you'll get whacked with far fewer umbrellas.

Yeah, but I don't mind having you around.

Deal.

You can start by calling the librarian.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

You can start by, uh, wiping down table nine.

(applause, cheering and whistling)

Hey, BlueBell.

It's a pleasure to be here.

(applause and cheering)

(band plays upbeat country intro)

♪ She had a dead-end job at The National Bank ♪
♪ And a deadbeat husband

Hey.

♪ Who always drank

Are you okay?

♪ So when he didn't come home... ♪

Brando was right.

I'm treating him like a child.

And do you know why? It's because I don't have my own child this weekend.

My son, Harley... he is with his father for the first time since we separated.

Oh, wow. That must be hard.

It's awful.

But I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm-I'm taking it out on you.

Oh, no, you do not have to be sorry.

You have every right to be angry with me.

We were so excited to meet Big Harley's actual daughter.

Why didn't you want to meet us?

I just... You know, family has never meant more to me than trouble.

But that's no excuse.

I wish we could start over.

Well, as my couples therapist once said, "Starting over is difficult, and that'll be 150 bucks."

Oh, nice.

(laughter)

Well, so was keeping the temple lit for eight days.

It's a Hanukkah reference.

Hey, maybe, you know, you'd reconsider coming to dinner tonight?

Okay. Yeah. Maybe.

Uh, the mayor's house! 7:00.

We will provide the dreidels.

♪ Nobody knew she was brave like that ♪
♪ And she went driving ♪
♪ So far away nobody's gonna find her ♪
♪ Flying just fast enough to leave it all behind her ♪
♪ But she didn't know till she hit the road ♪
♪ Deep in her soul ♪
♪ She's got the fire and the fight of a gypsy ♪
♪ Ain't nothing stronger than the heart of Dixie ♪
♪ The heart of Dixie... ♪

Vivian Wilkes.

Wade Kinsella.

You remember me?

Yeah, of course I do. You were the smartest girl at Lillian.

You know, used to kick our asses in those, uh, debate things.

And I remember you could skate backwards at the roller rink.

Hey. You got your braces off.

Congratulations.

You're sweet. I hear you bought the Rammer Jammer.

Yeah. Hey, you should come by some time.

Yeah. Maybe.

I got to go.

It was nice running into you, though.

Yeah, you, too.

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh.

(laughs)

(song ends, applause and cheering)

A broken hip.

It is not good.

And it's all our fault.

It is.

And it's going to take months to heal.

And she can't be all alone in that big old house of hers.

It's true. Yeah, we should definitely hire a nurse.

We're not hiring a nurse.

We did it, and one of us needs to go down there and take care of her.

Well, good-bye, Daddy.

I'll miss you.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Mother would never have been here had you not dragged her to interfere in my personal life.

Well, my youth is at stake!

Well, my livelihood is at stake.

Both: You have to do it!

Both: Over my dead body!

All right, we will settle this like mature adults.

Flip a coin?

Yeah, agree.

All right.

Heads.

Oh.

Bye-bye, baby.

I'm gonna miss you.

Oh.

(scoffs)

Hey, don't burn your arm.

Thank you, Nana.

Whoa. That's a lot of latkes.

Why can't we have these every day?

Because then it wouldn't be special.

Well, yeah, and you'd be a thousand pounds.

Zoe: Well, you will have leftovers for a week if the Wilkes don't show.

Sylvie: Honey, as the Torah says, if you make it, they will come.

I think that's from a baseball movie.

I'm beginning to think that Sylvie knows as much about Hanukkah as I do.

Hey, who cares if they don't show?

We're gonna have a great night, hmm?

Shalom.

Hi.

Is that right?

(laughs)

That was perfect.

(overlapping chatter)

Man: Smells good.

♪

Twice in one day, huh? What are the chances of that?

It is a coincidence.

What are you doing here?

Well, I'm, I'm the neighbor.

Well, neighbor, Happy Hanukkah.

Yeah... yeah.

♪

Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheynu, Melech...

♪

Oh... aw.

Ah, yes.

That's what you're wearing to Hanukkah dinner?

♪

I'm sorry I got all weird about protecting Sylvie.

You were right.

Oh, no, you were just being protective of your family.

Now that I finally have a family of my own, I get it.

(chuckles) Mmm.

Look at Sylvie blushing.

I haven't seen her that happy since we went to the bookstore and I showed her my novel on the shelf.

That's sweet.

Well, she was there to buy me an MCAT test prep book, but yes.

We're family.

We pull for each other.

♪

(children clamoring)

Thanks for giving me and George a chance.

Oh, yeah, of course.

I just want you to be happy.

So, does he make you happy?

He does. I trust him, Lavon.

Hey, you should call him, invite him to dinner.

I already did, but he's prepping for court tomorrow, has to work late.

Said he's just going to pick up some takeout.

Thank you so much, Chester.

Tansy, hey, uh, what...

What are you doing here?

Wade offered me a job.

Hope it's not going to be uncomfortable.

No, no, why, why would it be?

No, not at all.

(clears throat)

♪

Thanks for an amazing time.

Oh, sure. Are you going to go home with Brando?

I'm gonna let him stay a little longer.

Hmm, right. Well, Joel can give you a ride you home.

Actually I have a ride.

Oh, okay.

Hey, Vivian, you, uh, you ready?