03x14 - Here You Come Again

[bunniefuu]

If BlueBell is where you're gonna have your life, then this is where I'm gonna be... in BlueBell.

I don't have any interest in being part of an organization that would ask me to remove gum from the sidewalk.

I move for an emergency recall vote, removing you, Crickett.

I nominate AnnaBeth Nass to take your place.

I'm gonna nominate a co-leader, Crickett Watts.

I won't do it without her.

Don't you idiots know that I love you?!

Ooh!

(loud crash, scream)

A broken hip.

One of us needs to go down there and take care of her.

Bye-bye, baby.

I'll miss you.

Brick: Come on, Magnolia, your sister's finally coming home.

Hey, now, what do you think?

Should we add some stickers, maybe some glitter?

Yeah, glitter will make up for the fact that you forced Lemon into a life as a mean old lady's sl*ve.

There was no forcing.

We flipped a coin, she lost.

It was fair!

Well, then why are you so worried about her coming back?

It's just, we talked every day for months, and then suddenly, three weeks ago, total silence?!

And-and she told me she was coming home tonight in a text.

She didn't even use emojis.

Maybe she snapped.

Like that guy on Homeland who was stuck in the cell all those years and wants to blow everyone up.

I haven't seen Homeland.

Does he do it?

Ah! Don't tell me.

All I can say is you better be planning one hell of a welcome back party.

A party?

You're not just giving her this crappy banner, are you?

Daddy?

Thanks.

A new dishwasher.

So what was it this time? Did your mom hear that we had dinner with Winnie?

Brunch with Brando?

She caught me texting Vivian.

(sighs)

All right, now, okay, see, we-we are drowning in ulterior motive appliances.

You got to tell your mom she won.

Tell her we love her more than the Wilkes and she can go home now.

I know. It-It's just kind of flattering to have her so focused on me.

Usually, she just pays attention to her clients.

Like when I was ten. She left me with a nanny for a month while she dealt with Alec Baldwin's divorce.

Or that time she missed Christmas 'cause she was dealing with Britney's first meltdown?

I remember things.

Exactly. The only other time I was the focus of this much attention was when I ran for fifth grade treasurer.

She handled my campaign.

"Be in the know-y, vote for Zoe."

World's greatest publicist comes up with "know-y"?

Hey, she knew her audience.

I won.

That's great, but this is not the fifth grade, and she's not doing this for you, Zoe.

She's not spending time with you, she's buying you things to prove that she's better than your other family.

And it's-it's suffocating!

Do you know something else?

She's also very critical of me. "Get Lasik.

Try to develop a less nasally voice".

Please, you've got to ask her to leave.

(door bangs)

And that, I've had 22 heart att*cks since she got here.

I bought you a robot vacuum.

I bet no one else has done that.

Joel, really?

When's the last time you did cardio?

Remember that thing we were talking about earlier?

I'll handle it today.

Don Todd coming to you from the Sahara Desert.

Or as I like to call it, "The world's third-biggest sand trap."

It's definitely the hottest.

Today we're gonna look...

Oh, my God, that's hot!

Are you kidding me?!

Are you kidding me?! Good God!

Man, it has gotta be 120 degrees there.

Is there any chance Don Todd is bionic?

Maybe.

At 4:00 this morning, I saw him sink a putt while riding a ATV over a cliff.

The episode before that was even better.

I didn't even know quicksand was real.

What are you guys doing watching Don Todd in the middle of the night?

Both: Can't sleep.

Why not?

Still sad about A.B.

Can't op thinking about Tansy.

Who'd have thunk, of the three of us, I'd be the only one with a girlfriend?

(chuckles)

We don't need girls.

We got Don Todd.

Well, as viable a life option as your man-love for Don Todd is, I might suggest using the time for a town fire drill.

We haven't had one in five months, and it reflects poorly on me as safety captain.

We haven't had one because everybody knows the drill: you walk outside.

Fine. The ancient Pompeiians didn't want an eruption drill either.

Look what happened to them.

Don Todd: ...as you turn through the sh*t.

Oh, baby! You see that?

Don Todd! Whoo!

Oh, hey, gorgeous, what are you doing here? Mwa!

Harley's with his dad tonight.

And so I was thinking I would just blow off bills and cleaning if you want to hang out.

Oh, great. You know, Lemon's actually having her welcome home party tonight.

Now I don't have to look for a date.

Lemon's dad and my uncle used to share the practice, you know?

And so Lemon and I were forced to spend a lot of time together as kids.

And there was this one time when I put a bug in her cheese sandwich, and she never forgave me.

Oh, you know, that is so weird, 'cause, actually, Harley, the other day, put a spider in my French fries.

And now I see it's just running in the family.

I didn't know he did that.

I tell you what.

Why don't you skip the party, go home and clean your house, and I'll come by after, and we can, you know, dirty it up again.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I like that.

Uh-huh.

Mmm....

Y'all are just sad.

(laughs)

Next, we need to talk about how to divide the prep for the Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Oh, I've already booked a band, got a caterer, and ordered 200 bales of hay.

I love having a heartbroken co-leader!

(laughs) So, have you told Lemon about your new role in the Belles?

Well...

Oh, my gosh! You haven't told her!

Only because I haven't been able to get her on the phone!

Or because you don't want to tell her you betrayed her!

Ooh, just who I'm looking for.

I'm having a little dinner party tonight to welcome Lemon home, and I expect you, her best friend, to be there.

Oh, and Crickett, as you were only her sometimes friend, I will leave it to your discretion.

But I will see you tonight.

Of course! Fun!

(chuckles)

I found the most amazing double oven for your new house.

Six burners, built-in griddle...

Mom, you don't need to keep buying my love with high-end appliances.

I'm not buying your love.

It's just when you get together with the Wilkes for game night or whatever folksy thing you do together, I want them to know that your mother cares.

Trust me, they do.

I do.

Everyone knows that you care.

But don't you think it's time for you to get back to doing what you do: working?

To be honest with you, I have been thinking the exact same thing.

Seriously?

That is such a relief.

I am taking you on as a client and getting your practice back.

Wait, what?

I refuse to stand by and let Brick take advantage of my only daughter.

I'm gonna help you win.

Like the fifth grade election?

Exactly.

(laughs)

All right, Lemon is gonna be here at 7:00, so everyone, find a place to hide for the surprise.

Let's go! Let's go!

Oh.

(grunts)

Oh! Hey, AnnaBeth.

Hello, Lavon.

(chuckles)

So I heard you, uh, you took over the Belles.

Mm-hmm.

That's good.

Mm-hmm.

Maybe one of us should...

I was here first.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, Brick, do you-do you think we might be able to come out now?

'Cause I can only feel, like, four of my toes.

Yeah, I guess so.

This is just not like her.

She must be even angrier than I thought.

Of course she's angry, not just at you!

At all of you!

Have you even visited my sister?

You've had town event after town event, girlfriends, boyfriends, cabarets, Belle takeovers, all while Lemon was essentially in prison.

I don't blame her if she never comes back!

(phone rings)

(all murmuring)

Hey, where are you?

Wade, I need you to come get me right away.

And don't tell anyone where you are going.

I won't say a word, but I got to know where I'm going.

Fayette County Jail.

Well, what do you know?

Lemon is the new black.

(gasps)

(sighs)

(car horn honks)

(seagulls calling)

Just need to file the paperwork, and she's all yours.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Oh, your skin is filmy.

Have you showered?

Yeah, Lemon, right in between exits 47 and 48, I pulled off the highway and took a nice long bubble bath.

I'm sorry.

It was very kind of you to come all the way to get me.

I mean, obviously, I couldn't let anyone else know I was here.

Yeah, well, about that.

Lemon, I gotta ask.

Did you k*ll your grandma?

(scoffs) Very funny.

Though I can't say the thought didn't cross my mind.

Then, how did you, Lemon Breeland, end up in jail?

Well, that is a very long story.

Fortunately, they're not very speedy around here, so settle in.

I cannot believe this!

You said you were gonna take care of it!

I was ready to drive her to the airport today!

Well, my mom is taking me on as a client, you know?

So for the first time in my life, she's gonna prioritize me over Jen Aniston's pregnancy rumors.

And she's gonna get me the practice back.

Are you kidding me?

You've been trying this for a year, and Brick hasn't budged.

Well, he hasn't faced my publicity machine yet.

She's gonna get the people of BlueBell to see how dedicated I am to them.

And they're gonna demand that Brick let me back in.

They already know that!

Bup, bup, bup, bup! Even if I don't get the practice back, my mother has scheduled a strategy meeting with me this morning, and she only has strategy meetings with her top clients.

So, win-win.

(door bangs)

You know, some people, um, they-they grab the door, and they just gently close it behind them.

Great news, honey.

I got you an interview with the local press.

Dash DeWitt is meeting you at the Butter Stick at noon.

Dash? That's...

Since-Since when is that a "get"?

It's too obvious to go national with a small town story.

It looks planted.

The play is, you go local, then let it get picked up by the bigger outlets.

Yeah, Joel, that's the play.

Trust me, I rep the doctor trifecta: Oz, Phil, and Gupta.

I dropped Drew 'cause he's a whiner.

I'm so excited.

Thank you, Mommy!

So, taking care of Grandma Bettie was pretty much what you'd expect.

Oh, soup again?

I have a bad hip, not the common cold.

Temperature in here must be a thousand degrees.

Fan me, honey, fan me.

Oh.

It's time for my sponge bath.

Lemon...

Lemon?

Lemon!

(yelps)

Heinous, horrific.

And I was so lonely.

Waiting for visitors from BlueBell, who never came.

Look, Lemon, I'm sorry, all right?

The truth is I was seeing somebo...

I mean, the only person I had to talk to was Grandma Bettie's chauffeur, and barely spoke any English.

He would just murmur sympathetically.

All right, guilt trip received loud and clear.

Oh, no, no, no. No guilt.

Because one miraculous day, a vision appeared in pinstripes.

Well.

Hello there.

Carter Covington.

Am I hallucinating?

Oh, I came to call on Mrs. Breeland.

And it seems to offer you my jacket.

Don't want you to catch a chill.

(laughs)

(laughs)

Carter Covington?

Of the Birmingham Covingtons?

Aw, man, you must've been lonely.

Okay, you know what, he was an angel, all right?

He even forgave me for that horrid debacle of my first date, and whisk me off to dinner and society events.

Wade, he saved my life.

Yeah, maybe your grandma's, too.

Okay, you're free to go.

Give me all your money.

Does that phrase have anything to do with why you ended up here?

Give it to me!

My grandma can never ever know that you saw me.

Understand?

Mm-hmm.

Todd: Something I like to do here on the course is drink six or seven of the local coffees, and dare my hands not to shake.

It trains the mind.

'Cause like I always like to say, "The mind is the most important club in the bag of your head."

Yeah, Magnolia was right.

I mean, I was so consumed with the stupid merger.

And Lemon was the one who saved the town.

I could've at least sent her a ba-balloon bouquet.

Yeah, I didn't reach out, either.

I was, you know, so busy with Lynly.

And then busy with Tansy...

I would urge you to stop talking.

Yup.

I visited once.

It was like the all-female version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

I lasted 20 minutes, never went back.

Well, you're all in luck.

Lemon texted me and she's coming back tonight.

She texted you and not me?

I better buy more glitter.

I assume after last night's debacle, you're upping your game in the party department?

Maybe some kind of Gatsby jazz-age theme.

Vintage flapper dresses, wigs, jewels....

(gasps)

Ooh, lots of young, single men.

Now, is this what Lemon wants or what Magnolia wants?

No matter, this is our chance for a do-over.

Tonight we are pulling out all the stops.

Can we get the Owl Club?

Yeah, sure. I-I'll help.

(cheers) Oh, really?

Our mayor can throw a party, but we can't have a simple fire drill.

For the 100th time, Tom...

Tom, no one likes it!

No one wants it!

(all clamoring)

Hey, hey!

Fire drill, come on!

Todd: Why would anyone come here?

(chuckles)

George?

Old pal.

You talking to me?

I need some legal advise.

And since we were nearly family until you left my sister at the altar, I know I could count on you.

All right, when are you people gonna let go of that?

So, a friend of mine-- not me-- got kicked out of boarding school, and she wonders what she can do to appeal the obvious mistake they made.

Magnolia, seriously?

Have you told your father yet?

Of course not!

He'll k*ll me, and I am too pretty to die.

Well, I'm not gonna...

All right, fine.

I'll put in a call.

See if they'll let you back in.

But as soon as I do that, we are telling Brick.

Mmm, once you get me back in, there won't be anything to tell him.

Don't push it.

Now, remember the point of the interview is to highlight all of the good things you've done for this town.

Don't let Dash highjack the interview.

If you say something you don't want in print, tell him it's off the record.

And if all else fails, flirt like hell.

I don't know that that would work on Dash.

Well, well, well.

Don't I know you?

Or-or should I say "know-y."

Did you want to make an appointment?

Because I am getting pretty booked up.

I assume this is some sort of subtle effort to get your practice back.

Well, if it's subtle, I'm definitely doing something wrong.

Oh, you are doing several things wrong.

That bench ad certainly will get Zoe new patients.

But more work for her, more money for me.

Until her non-compete clause is up in two months, and then she will be taking all those new patients with her.

Whoa, I didn't even think of that.

I mean, yeah, I am.

Of course, you could avoid it if you just gave her back her practice.

I do not negotiate with t*rrorists.

(phone chimes) He's petrified.

Oh, Anderson Cooper's having a personal crisis.

Well, he's just gonna have to wait until we're done.

You're putting me above Anderson Cooper?

This is important.

No, I-I can't let you do that.

You go.

I promise I can handle Dash.

Dr. Zoe Hart.

Tell me.

What would you say is your biggest medical accomplishment since you decided to move back here to BlueBell?

Oh, probably the health initiative.

I think I steered people onto a path of lifetime benefits.

Uh-huh.

A whole month without cheese.

It was not fun.

But in the end, I suppose I'm glad that we did it.

See, I-I knew people would feel that way.

Did you now?

(chuckles)

I had my doubts.

Well, I was so confident, that I even bet Brick I could get people down to their target weight.

Sadly, thanks to cake fest, I now work weekends.

So, are you saying that Health Month was all about a personal wager?

(stammers)

No, no, of course not.

The health initiative was in place first.

I only bet Brick once I realized that I needed money to remodel my house.

So, you encouraged our beloved BlueBellians to starve themselves just so you could have a bigger closet?

No... no!

Well, I've seen your wardrobe.

You mean, you don't want a bigger closet?

Is it too late to say, "off the record"?

O-T-R?

Carter was my knight in shining armor.

And even Grandma Bettie approved.

You have taken excellent care of me for the past few weeks.

Months.

And... now that you're dating the illustrious Carter Covington, I finally have a Breeland I don't have to be ashamed of.

Now, I know that you're gonna want to make a fresh start when you return to BlueBell.

So...

I'm giving you the money to buy Fancie's.

Really?!

Wade: Wow.

Carter went away on business.

And once again I was all alone.

So, that is when I started spending time with Grandma Bettie's driver.

Enrique.

Oh, you got to be kidding me.

Ah, he was fascinating.

Poet, artist, musician.

We both spoke the language of song.

♪ Bésame ♪
♪ Bésame mucho ♪
♪ Como si fuera esta noche ♪
♪ La última vez... ♪

Lemon: We became friendly.

Very friendly.

Does Carter know about Enrique?

Nope.

Does Enrique know about Carter?

Nope.

Lemon Breeland, you dog.

I believe you have two boyfriends.

And it is amazing.

You gambled on our health so you could get a home renovation?

Shame, Dr. Hart, shame!

No! Dash took it out of context.

It wasn't like that.

I did Pilates for you!

And your core has never looked better.

Traitor.

Traitor! Traitor! Traitor!

Traitor!

Oh, my gosh, I screwed up!

My mother is gonna drop me like Dr. Drew.

Incoming, incoming.

Hmm?

I don't know.

Flirting with Dash couldn't have made the interview any worse.

I-I am so sorry.

I promise it will never happen again.

You are right.

Because from now on, I'm not leaving your side.

What? Really?

We are gonna do to Brick what we did to Matthew Greenberg in the fifth grade election.

What did you do to Matthew Greenberg?

We got a reporter from the school paper to ask him if he was behind the big Beanie Baby stealing incident.

He wasn't, but the more we asked him, the more everybody believed it.

He finally had to transfer schools.

Okay, well, you, um...

Good luck with that.

Um, I am gonna go do some work.

Or maybe jog?

Mom, I-I thought our strategy was to get people to appreciate my work?

Well, they're not appreciating you after you sold them out for a walk-in closet.

So, now we need to get them to turn on Brick.

I've got us an interview with a reporter from the Mobile Tribune.

We will spin Dash's blog so that it looks like Brick's reign of terror made you desperate enough to make a wager for the practice.

I... don't know.

You know, Matthew Greenberg, he was a bully, and he probably did steal that Beanie Baby.

But Brick...

Brought it on himself.

Look, we gave him a chance to do the right thing, and he didn't take it, right?

I guess.

Sweetie, if you're not on board, I will happily go home, and deal with Blake Shelton's latest infidelity rumor.

He appreciates what I do for him.

No. No, don't go.

I-I appreciate you, too, and I really need your help.

That's my girl.

Now... we've got to do something about your voice.

I think Joel is rubbing off on you.

(clears throat)

Lemon: He calls me "Limón."

He rhymes it with "fiestón."

That's a crazy party.

I've never been anybody's crazy party!

Lemon, I am really, truly happy you've had this awakening, and I don't even mind that, uh, you spent the last hour reading me Enrique's love poems even though I don't speak a lick of Spanish.

But we are back in BlueBell now, and I need to know... what the hell were you doing in jail?

Oh, sorry.

You know, now that I'm dating two guys at once, I don't have the brain space I used to.

So, Enrique wanted to do something special for my last night, so we got drunk on Rioja, and we danced naked in a fountain-- which he calls fuente.

Oh, right, rhymes with caliente.

I-I remember the poem.

Well, unfortunately, some uptight Puritan alerted the police, so I took the heat so Enrique could escape.

T-Took the heat?

Who are you?

Well, I couldn't let Grandma fire him.

He's saving up for his master's in poetry.

Or something.

To be honest, I don't really understand half of what he says.

All right, well, what are you gonna do?

You gonna let one of them go?

(scoffs) Heavens no.

That is what the old Lemon would've done.

I am evolved now, and after all of my romantic heartbreaks, I deserve to be dating multiple people at once.

Absolutely, but, uh, take a little word from the wise here, when you date multiple people and you don't tell them, somebody usually gets punched in the face.

Which is why neither of them will find out.

Luckily, neither of them is local.

I made a very detailed calendar of when I'll see each of them, and it is based on our meat delivery schedule at the Rammer Jammer.

So I take it Carter is the filet and Enrique is the kielbasa?

Yeah, well, read nothing into that.

(laughs)

(gasps) Stop the car!

Lemon, we've been stopped for, like, five minutes.

Daddy.

Oh, I haven't seen you in so long.

I know, I know, Lemonade, and I can explain.

I've missed you so much.

Oh.

And I missed you, too.

(chuckles)

Welcome home.

George: Thank you so much, Dean Hale, for taking the time to meet with us.

I want to start out by saying I believe there's been a huge misunderstanding here.

Uh, Magnolia is fully aware that she should not have driven off of campus.

However, she did so to pick up a friend who was at a party and needed a designated driver.

Now, I find that to be very admirable.

Admirable?

Did she mention the car she took was mine?

Really?

I knew where he hid the keys.

You should really hide those better.

Now, Dean, uh, I know that that is not ideal, (chuckles) but I think that we can still all agree that the good outweighs the bad here.

The person she picked up was a 19-year-old boy.

Oh, oh, okay.

Who doesn't attend our girls' school.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Aren't you gonna object or something?

What kind of lawyer are you?

I am so sorry to have wasted your time, Dean.

Uh, we'll go ahead and get out of your hair. Now!

(sighs)

I'm starting to rethink this whole Sadie Hawkins thing.

Plaid makes me look hippy.

AnnaBeth!

Oh.

I'm so happy to see you.

Oh.

Crickett, interesting seeing you.

Bye.

A.B., I'm so sorry about Lavon.

I've been crazy the past two weeks, but I'm dying to know, how are you?

As fine as I can be, given that my heart is crushed and I'm probably gonna die alone and whatnot.

But where were you last night, and what has been keeping you so busy?

I have been calling for weeks.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

What have you been doing?

Well, I mean, just taking care of Grandma.

I mean, when she heard I wanted to leave, she had, like, 20,000 errands for me to run, and suddenly she couldn't live without her heart medicine, which is so weird, so...

Surprise, darling.

Heard you went back to BlueBell.

Cut my trip short 'cause I missed my girlfriend.

Oh, my.

"Girlfriend"?

Carter Covington, we met at, uh...

Oh, I-I remember, son.

Yes, I do. Uh, that's why you did call anyone because you are in a relationship?

Yes. (giggles)

Just one.

(laughter)

So, Lemon didn't say anything about me?

Nope. Of course, I didn't have much of a chance to tell her.

Life at Grandma's past few months took almost as long to talk about as it did to live.

Well, have fun at party number two.

At this rate, I will have the cleanest house on the block.

All right, baby.

Take care.

Amigo, can you direct me to la casa de Limón Breeland?

Casa de Breeland, okay.

Hey, I'm gonna go out on a limb here.

Enrique?

Sí.

Hey.

It is me.

Yes, it is.

I am here to surprise my lover.

Wow, okay, well, I'll tell you what.

You grab a seat, you order some food, I'll see if I can't track her down.

Gracias.

No problem.

(laughs)

If you want to surprise Lemon, head over to the Owl Club.

There's a big party for her in about an hour.

Gracias, señorita.

I am so happy to hear Limón has a lover.

(chuckles)

When she's in a good mood, it's good for the whole town.

Ciao.

All I said is I was tired of signing for so many flowers for Grandma.

I took that as my sign to make sure that she started receiving flowers, too.

Aw.

Twice a day! Every time I opened up the door, it was another beautiful arrangement.

Yellow tulips, her favorite.

(phone rings) Oh, Daddy, could you hand me that, please?

Oh, Wade?

No, no, I'm not gonna let Wade interrupt things with Carter again.

(laughs)

Wade, not Lemon's boyfriend.

Never has been, never will be.

(chuckles)

Yo, Miss Evolved Woman, you might want to call me back when you get this.

Your... (clears throat) kielbasa is in town.

Lemon: Hi, how are you?

So good to see you.

(clears throat)

Zoe Hart.

Hey, you remember!

What are you doing here?

Oh, Brick needed guests, and I have a surprise for him.

Welcome back.

(grunts)

George: Okay.

All right, it'll help if we can get your father focused on something positive before we tell him the bad news. You got anything?

I'm not pregnant.

Yeah, we'll go with "healthy".

(clears throat)

Oh, this is the happiest day of my life!

(laughing)

Lemon is back.

She's with Carter Covington.

Oh, miracles do happen.

(George chuckles)

Oh, I'm getting a little emotional.

Y'all gonna have to just excuse me a minute.

Uh, you know what, maybe we should just wait till your father's a little less elated to break the news to him.

Maybe we'll get lucky and a patient will die or something.

An old one.

(scoffs)

You're going to ambush Brick at his daughter's welcome home party?

It's the best way for everyone to hear that he stole the practice from me.

Zoe, you gave him the practice.

Technically, yes, but perception is more what we're going for.

Per... Do you even hear yourself right now?

Look, you don't need the practice that badly.

No, I need my mother that badly, okay, so don't take this away from me.

Zoe!

I am gonna put aside all my personal feelings about your ridiculous ad, because this is such a wonderful night.

And I know, I know.

We are not huggers, but come here.

Come here.

(laughs)

Annabeth: You're dating Carter Covington.

Why didn't you tell me?

We tell each other everything.

I know, it's just... it's... more complicated than it looks.

I've got to run.

You know what it's like when your husband is waiting for dinner.

Oh, sorry, I guess you don't.

Any who, I'll see you at the meeting, AnnaBeth.

I suppose you are wondering what meeting she's talking about.

Yes. (chuckles)

No!

Enrique!

What a surprise.

Shh.

My eyes, they ache with this beauty I see.

Yes, you know what would help with that is a, um, tour of BlueBell.

Oh, hey, you know, I can take him.

I will. Hi, Enrique.

Or I mean, buenos tardes, mi amor.

(chuckles)

Wait, señorita...

Are you sure that's a good idea?

Uh, show him the whole town.

Zoe's poor deceased father left her that practice.

She never even knew him, but seeing his patients was the way she formed a connection.

That is, until it was taken away from her by that man.

Is that true?

Uh, it's true-ish.

Why would he do that?

Why don't we go ask him about all the times she begged him to give her daddy's practice back and he said no.

Or the time that he hired a local detective to spy on her, so that she wouldn't heal the people.

You know, what's the rush?

We should get a drink.

Drinking makes everything better.

That would've been another good time to say "off the record".

Meatball: I did some research and learned no woman can resist a man in uniform. So... how do I look?

(sighing): Oh, no.

Uh...

The Internet was wrong again!

Grandma, what a surprise.

Well, I wouldn't miss your welcome home party, even though everyone did forget to invite me.

Oh, what a terrible oversight.

Let me get you a drink so you can forget about it.

And anything else that may happen tonight.

I've always wanted to travel to Spain.

Maybe you could take me to meet your family.

(chuckles)

You having a stroke or something?

Where are these drinks you promised?

Hey, Enrique, you know, I know this guy at the Rammer Jammer.

He can drink beer through his nose, right?

You got to see it with your own eyes, my friend.

Yeah, come on.

Pero...

No, no, pero nothing.

Let's go, pal, this way.

(laughs)

Yeah.

(sighs) Two gin and tonics, double the gin, hold the tonic.

Well, haven't had a chance to say hello yet.

Lavon.

Listen, I heard about you and A.B.

I'm so sorry.

I was rooting for you both.

Thanks.

Whoa.

Now, uh, why do you look the way I feel?

I mean, aren't you happy?

I see your boyfriend's over there.

Actually, both my boyfriends.

Okay, both?

Along with my grandmother, who thinks I've reformed and has given me the money to buy Fancie's.

And it's all about to come crashing down unless there's an act of God or something.

Well, I can't do anything about the God part.

But I might have an angle on the, uh, "or something."

Dr. Breeland? James Boyd, Montgomery Press.

Is it true that you're preventing this girl from connecting with her dead father?

(laughs): What?

I understand that he gave her his practice and you ripped it away from her.

I-I wouldn't say "ripped."

Ripped it away!

Boyd: And she's gone to extraordinary lengths to get it back, but you're shutting her out.

No, no, that is...

Shutting her out!

Can you explain how it benefits the people of BlueBell for you to be taking away their healthcare options?

Meatball: Yeah!

On behalf of all pretend veterans, (music stops)

I demand an explanation.

There's nothing to explain.

Brick didn't do anything wrong.

It was all me.

Ooh, wow!

That's how loyal this girl is.

She cares more about his feelings than the truth.

Mom, stop it!

No, I will not.

Someone has to protect your image.

Okay, well, it's not gonna be you.

You're fired!

(partygoers murmuring)

(alarm ringing)

Everyone, stay calm, and walk out in an orderly fashion.

Unless you are on fire, at which point, stop, drop and roll.

This way, everybody.

Not too fast, but not too slow, also.

Was that you?

Thank you!

(chuckles)

Once and for all, did you people see why we need fire drills?!

Bye.

(clears throat)

Lemon?

What is going on with you?

You're cagey.

You're keeping things.

Well, I could say the same thing for you!

Crickett?

Meetings?

Scones?

Okay, truth.

I rejoined the Belles.

I'm not dating just Carter.

I also dating Grandma Bettie's chauffeur.

I'm actually co-leader with Crickett.

I spent last night in jail.

Both: Don't judge me, it makes me feel better!

(laughs)

Good chat.

Okay.

(sighs)

Do you realize what you've done?

No one fires Candace Hart!

Not even Simon Cowell.

I'm sorry, Mom.

But come on!

We don't behave like that here!

I let myself get talked into doing something horrible to Brick just because it was the only way to get your attention.

That's not true.

It is totally true!

You haven't shown this much interest in me since the fifth grade!

We finally got to a place where we were connecting and working together, and I didn't want to lose it.

Well, you should've thought of that before you humiliated me in front of everyone.

(both sigh)

I'm... getting a headache.

I am so sorry about this mess.

Not at all what I intended for your party.

It's all right, Daddy.

But have you seen Magnolia or Carter?

Lemon?

I think we need to clear a few things up.

Sí.

My English is not so good, but I think Señor Covington say he is also your lover.

What?!

Obviously I used more delicate language.

Lemon, would you care to tell us exactly what's going on here?

I've been seeing both of you.

(Bettie gasps)

I never meant to hurt anyone.

It's just I couldn't bear the thought of losing either of you.

Well, fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice... shame on you again.

I don't understand what he say.

But I think I agree.

Adiós.

And all of this was going on under my roof!

While I was incapacitated.

This is wildly inappropriate.

And a complete betrayal of trust.

I'm sorry, I...

No, no!

There are no words to tell you how disappointed I am in you.

But there are actions.

I will no longer be giving you the money for Fancie's.

Don't look at me.

You made your beds.

(scoffs)

In good news, I got kicked out of boarding school, so I'm here to help with all these crises.

Wade.

Come on in.

I heard about the blowup with the boyfriends.

That stinks.

Well, you know, it's probably for the best.

Actually I don't believe that at all.

It.. it stinks.

You want to come sit.

Yeah, yeah, but, uh...

Look, first I-I want to introduce you to someone.

Or... well, reintroduce you.

You can stop hiding now.

(chuckles)

Vivian Wilkes?

Hi, Lemon.

Why is Vivian here?

Uh, well... when my ex and I broke up, the only thing that made me feel better was cooking Vietnamese food, which which is very specific, I know.

But I brought along some ingredients in case you want to give it a sh*t.

And I promise no bugs.

Mm-hmm.

She's also here because she's... my girlfriend.

(laughs)

That's the best news I've heard in such a long time.

You are exactly the kind of girl that Wade needs to be with.

Now, get in here and tell me everything.

Well, I mean, maybe not everything.

(both laugh)

Good morning.

Ooh, that toast looks delicious.

Did you make it yourself?

You need to pack your things.

Given how radically I have failed you in the discipline department, you obviously cannot stay here.

Where are you sending me?

To the strictest parent I know, Grandma Bettie.

You'll also attend a religious school down the road from her.

Oh, and before you get any ideas, her new driver is a 65-year-old, big-boned, German woman named Helga.

No.

Huh.

Hey, uh, Lavon?

What's going on, man?

What are you... not sitting at the bar anymore?

No, actually I feel a little better.

Yeah, throwing Lemon's party helped.

Just like throwing Zoe's party did.

So...

I think I'm gonna throw some town events.

Really?

That, uh, looks like more than some.

Let's see, you got a pet fashion show.

You have a festival of fondue.

Oh, I call it "Fun-due."

Oh, human chess board.

You got "Hogs and Hogs."

Motorcycles and bacon.

Don't it make you feel good just thinking about it?

No.

No, not at all.

Lavon, Jorge.

Do you know if Señor Wade is hiring?

I get fired.

And cheated on.

Yeah, I heard about that.

Sorry.

Sí.

Limón, she make me crazy.

I should be so angry at her.

But I can't make her get out of my head.

Know what that's like.

Yeah, that's Lemon for you.

You both understand this?

Not proud of it.

Yeah.

I brought apology donuts.

Wow, you are really into the "I'm sorry" pastries, huh?

Only if the situation calls for it.

And this one does.

I'm sorry for everything I put you through with my mother.

Hey, I'm-I'm sorry, too.

I know how much you wanted it to work out with her.

I really did.

Why do I care so much?

(laughing): Because it's your mom.

You know?

But the good news is she's not the only family you have anymore.

You have me!

You know, you have Vivian and little Harley and Brando and the entire town of BlueBell.

All of whom love you.

He's right!

Well... now she learns to make a quiet entrance.

As much as I hate to admit it, you get everything from this town that I was never able to give you.

And now you have the Wilkes family as well.

And I'm happy that you do.

Well, it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate you, too.

Well, I've still got some things to work on.

But I think we can both admit that our relationship works better when I'm back in New York.

Yes.

She said it first.

Thank you for everything that you helped me with.

I'll miss you.

Well, I'm not leaving just yet.

Joel and I need to have a sit-down, and strategize on how to get his book sold to Hollywood.

Mm.

Donuts, ooh.

None for you, Joel.

(laughs)

(laughs)

Carter.

Lemon, a girl like you does not come along often.

And I couldn't just walk away.

And not just because your father chased me down and threatened me.

Ooh.

You are the woman of my dreams.

I hope you'll give me another chance.

Enrique: ♪ Yo no te ofrezco riquezas ♪
♪ Te ofrezco mi corazon ♪
♪ Te ofrezco mi corazon ♪
♪ A cambio de mi pobreza ♪
♪ Ah-ah.

(laughs)

Enrique.

(laughs)

My feet take me away, but my heart, it bring me back.

Wh-wh...

What are we gonna do?

I mean, I can't choose just one of you.

You, Limón, are worth it to fight.

I agree.

May the better man win.

♪ Malagueña ♪
♪ Salerosa ♪
♪ Besar tus labios quisiera ♪
♪ Besar tus labios quisiera ♪
♪ Malagueña salerosa. ♪