05x09 - Wrong Roads

[bunniefuu]

Danny: God damn it.

Dewey: What?

Danny: Dewey, you ever think about wearing deodorant?

Dewey: You saying I stink?

Danny: All I'm saying is, you can't smell that, you best go get your nose checked. You girls ready?

Danny: I'm about ready to kick your ass.

Let's go.

All right. We're done here.

It's like we discussed... wait 30 minutes, then head out. Stay off the highways.

No speeding...

Danny: Drinking, sex after midnight.

You get lit up, you're just an employee of the hr towing company.

You don't know sh*t about that cargo.

Danny: Yeah, I got it, sweet tits. Yeah, well, you better. Now, where in the hell do you think you're going? Nah, I ain't smelling your ass all the way back to Kentucky.

He's your kin. You ride with him. Don't screw this up.

[ Engine turns over ]

Danny: Told you.

Carl's on his way. The boys ain't far behind.

Darryl: Yes, sir.

I told you they'd handle this sh*t. It's gonna be a good-ass morning.

Boyd: [ Sighs ] I believe I can take it from here.

Darryl: Old Jimmy's a bit of a cold fish, ain't he?

Boyd: A tired fish, more like it, and I can't say I blame him.

Darryl: Well, if you ain't too tired, I'd love to discuss something with you.

Boyd: Well, make it quick, 'cause that couch you're sitting on is calling my name.

Darryl: I like the way you handle yourself, Boyd.

I know when a man is worth a sh*t, and you are.

So I want to tell you this, 'cause I don't want no secrets between us.

You know, full disclosure and sh*t.

Boyd: Well, let me guess... Hot Rod's boys didn't pull no weapons on you?

Awfully convenient you had a way over the border all cocked and ready to go.

Darryl: Wait. You don't miss a trick, man. sh*t.

Well, you know, we was just trying to make ourselves useful, you know.

Boyd: Well, in the process, Darryl, you made yourself a liar.

Darryl: But you an honest man, Boyd, hmm? A full-blown honest man?

That why you pointing that g*n at me from underneath that desk?

Boyd: [ Laughs ]

Darryl: There it is. I understand how you'd feel that way, Boyd, but you got to admit, we did deliver.

Boyd: Well, it seems to me that that heroin's still 1,000

Miles away from being in my possession, which means you ain't delivered sh*t yet.

Darryl: Well, about that. It would be a terrible shame if my brother Danny accidentally made a wrong turn with one of them trucks, and neither you nor me nor your partners want that.

Boyd: So, what is it that you do want, Darryl Crowe Jr.?

Darryl: [ Sighs ] I just want to be part of the g*dd*mn family, Boyd.

♪ ♪

Hi. I'm Kayla.

Raylan: Raylan.

Hey, those sound kind of alike, don't they? Kayla, Raylan.

Raylan: I suppose they do. You gonna offer to buy me a drink, Raylan?

Raylan: Whatever she'd like. I'll have a Tequila on the rocks, with three limes, please.

Something nice, but don't put my friend here in the poorhouse. I read somewhere Tequila's the only liquor isn't a depressant.

Raylan: Hmm.

Also, pound for pound, don't give me nearly as bad a hang over.

Raylan: Pound for pound, huh?

My father was a boxing fan. You like boxing?

Raylan: Not so much these days. I used to be a fan of those old guys.

Thank you, sugar. Cheers. So, what brings you in here tonight?

Raylan: Actually, I'm on vacation.

Oh, can't remember the last time I took a vacation.

Raylan: Hmm.

What I wouldn't give to be lying on a beach somewhere.

Raylan: Can I ask you something? Not gonna be much of a conversation if you don't.

Raylan: Let's say you and I have been dating for just a little while. I bought you a bikini, invited you to come down to Miami with me to see my baby daughter... that be weird or forward or something?

[ Chuckles ] I-I love Miami. A-and it's... it's so great you want to spend time with you daughter. Think I'd go with you right now, you wanted.

Raylan: Oh, yeah? My rate is normally $1,000 per day, but for you...

Knock it down to $500.

Raylan: [ Chuckles ] [ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Alarm chirps ]

[ Sighs ]

Yeah, I want to book a flight.

♪ On this lonely road ♪
♪ Trying to make it home ♪
♪ Doing it by my lonesome ♪
♪ Pissed off, who wants some? ♪
♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪
♪ God get at your boy ♪
♪ You try to bogard ♪
♪ Fall back, I go hard ♪
♪ On this lonely road ♪
♪ Trying to make it home ♪
♪ Doing it by my lonesome ♪
♪ Pissed off, who wants some? ♪
♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪

Raylan: This would be easier if you'd just point me in his direction.

[ Scoffs ]

Marshal, if a D.E.A. Agent showed up in Lexington asking for information on a fugitive, there any chance you'd just open up your files to us?

Raylan: I take your point.

Besides, you want to know where Hot Rod Dunham's at, Miller's your guy.

All right.

Not too shabby.

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

There a problem, henkins?

Alex Miller, meet deputy U.S.

Marshal Raylan Givens, down from Lexington.

Raylan: Is that a ruger?

It's a gp 100.

Raylan: Oh.

I didn't know D.E.A. Still used revolvers.

Well, they don't, officially.

But a .357 will never let you down.

Not like those glocks or Smith & Wesson 9's.

They jam so bad, you can spread them on your breakfast toast.

Raylan: No trouble with the double-action trigger?

[ Chuckles ]

Nothing a little oil won't make as smooth as a Bill Clinton apology.

The marshal says some of hot rod Dunham's crew ended up dead in Mexico.

Hot Rod hasn't operated South of the border in years.

Raylan: The guys at Epic say differently.

Hmm. Thanks for the tip.

I'll look into it.

I'll let you know what turns up.

Raylan: If it's all the same to you, I'd like to tag along.

Hmm.

Uh, m-marshal Givens knows Hot Rod a little bit.

So what?

That's why your chief sent you, huh?

Raylan: I'm on vacation, actually.

Vacation?

Raylan: Hmm.

And you thought you'd come to Memphis and kick the hornet's nest, huh?

Raylan: And have some ribs.

And have some ribs, yeah.

Sorry, marshal, I can't help you.

Raylan: Okeydokey.

I'll try Memphis P.D., local FBI, make a few more calls.

I just wanted to come by as a courtesy, you know... do unto others and so forth.

When I see Hot Rod, I'll tell him you said "hey."

Marshal.

Raylan: Hmm?

I like to drive.

I assume you're gonna tell SAC about this?

I'll let you tell him, Henkins.

You can tag along, if you like.

Come on.

[ Buzzer sounds ]

[ Door opens ]

Boyd: [ Sighs ]

Well, I can't tell you what it means to lay these weary eyes on your beautiful, beautiful face.

Ava: You look tired, Boyd.

Boyd: I'm sorry about all this, Ava.

Ava: It's not your fault.

Boyd: You being properly looked after?

Ava: [ Sighs ]

Never thought I'd long for the Harlan county detention center, that's for sure.

Boyd: Hmm.

Ava: You ain't said anything about my hair.

Boyd: Well, um... It seems to me you should have always been wearing it that way.

Ava: I guess you've been busy.

Boyd: I'm still just trying to take the necessary steps to secure our future.

Ava: Our future?

Boyd: I'm gonna get you out of here, Ava Crowder, I promise you.

Ava: I need a favor, Boyd.

Boyd: Name it.

Ava: My friend is in trouble. She's gonna find you.

Do whatever she asks.

Boyd: Well, you know I will. Is there anything else that I can do for you?

Ava: Just take care of her. You let me know when it's done.

Boyd: Ava?

[ Buzzer sounds ]

[ Sighs ]

Wendy: Are you making cocktails now?

Kendal: Just messing around.

You gonna yell at me?

Wendy: Well, actually, I was hoping I could try it, you don't mind. Hmm. [ Sniffs ]

Mmm.

Well, that's pretty good. Come up with a name for it yet? Kendal: Yeah, I call it a "this place sucks."

Wendy: Hey, I know this place isn't working out the way anyone hoped, but your brothers are getting together...

Kendal: You mean my uncles?

Wendy: Yeah. Them. They're working on something, supposed to bring in a whole lot of cash. As soon as I get my cut, we're gone.

We can get a bigger place, get you set up in school.

Kendal: Whatever.

Wendy: Kendal, no "whatever." I promise you.

Give it one week, you never have to see any of them again you don't want to. Who knows?

Maybe we'll even get you a job as a bartender in one of them fancy clubs.

Kendal: You got to be 21.

Wendy: Get you a fake I.D.

Darryl: Hey.

Wendy: Hey. Didn't know you were back.

Darryl: Late last night.

♪
♪

Wendy: So? How did it go?

Darryl: Smooth, like a stripper's ass. How y'all doing?

Wendy: Doing good.

Pretty quiet. Hey, Kendal, how about you get Darryl a plate?

Darryl: And give me one of them ...Kendal: Café con leche?

Darryl: Man, you quickly becoming my favorite person on the planet, you know that, Kendal?

Wendy: [ Breathes deeply ]

Darryl: I feel you all cocked and ready.

What's going on?

Wendy: You swear to me it went good?

Darryl: Man, you said you didn't want all the details, to protect your precious law career.

Wendy: I just want you to sh**t me straight, Darryl.

Darryl: It's real this time. We about to become g*dd*mn rich, Wendy.

Remember that phosphate mine? Multiply that by a hundred. Each.

That straight enough for you, Wendy Crowe?

Wynn: The shipment isn't even here yet, Mr. Crowder. Mexico was a near disaster, and now you're telling me that we have new partners. Am I wrong to find all of this disturbing?

Oh, God. If they want a cut, they're partners, Mr. Crowder.

Doesn't sound like we have much choice, does it?

I'll see you then.

What? The dope's not there?

Wynn: It's on its way.

Yeah, right, it's on its way.

We just have to agree to this new g*ng of idiots' terms, right?

Jesus Christ. Wynn: Hi, this is Wynn Duffy in 236.

Could you send up another pot of coffee, please?

Because this one tastes like my ass on Sunday. Thank you, dear. We'll go down to Harlan county, we'll play nice, and everything will be fine.

Get some rest.

That place can be exhausting. [ Siren wails in distance ]

So, how you know Hot Rod?

Raylan: He's been branching out... linked up with some folks I know in Kentucky.

And you thought you'd chase on that lead on your vacation?

Well, I was actually packed for Florida when I got the news. Florida?

Raylan: Hmm.

You don't strike me as a... Beach person.

Raylan: My baby girl's down there. You got a kid?

Raylan: Hmm.

Jesus. What did you go and do that for?

[ Clears throat ]

Hey, w-w-what's the plan? No one heard nothing yet?

Well, sh*t. Look at this duo.

sh*t. What's up, Miller? You don't knock no more?

Walked right by the security cameras for you. Somebody's asleep at the switch. Uh-huh.

I see you know Kentucky. Mm-hmm. He tell you how he like to swing shovels? Well, you two must have made quite an impression, because now he wants to talk to the man himself. Oh, that's funny. So do we.

All cLear. These D.E.A. Boys coming out the woodwork like roaches.

Mm-hmm.

Raylan: What did that mean, "so do we"?

That means that we ain't seen Hot Rod in days, so maybe you two should keep doing y'all constabulating and let us know where he's at.

Raylan: You wouldn't lie to us, would you, Jay? Look, man, we foot soldiers.

We been here all day minding our own, and we ain't seen the crew in days.

Raylan: You buying any of this? Not one bit, but there's other places we can look.

Okay, you sit on these assholes. Do not let them call Hot Rod. We don't want him getting a heads-up we're coming. ♪
♪ help you?

Yeah, I'm looking for Boyd Crowder. Never heard of him.

Look, I don't know if you playing me or protecting him, but I'm a friend of his woman.

I promise you, he will want to see me. Let me see if the owner knows him.

Boyd: That won't be necessary, Caleb.

I'm Boyd Crowder. You'll have to forgive my friend Caleb... we know each other from the mines. A man spends that much time in the dark, customer service ain't one of his strong suits. My experience, a dog can be trained.

A human can, too.

Boyd: I didn't get your name, miss...?

Rowena is just fine. It's a long way out of my routine to get down here, which means it's a long way home, so it's best we just get down to brass tacks.

Boyd: Very well, then. Caleb? Please. Whatever you need, I'm at your disposal. Simple. Once a week, you get me 100 grams, pure as you can. I take a cut, give the rest to your woman.

Boyd: Ava wants heroin? Guess you weren't expecting that, huh?

Your girl's fitting to take care of herself, but first you got to take care of me.

Boyd: Well, what did you have in mind? I had a partner, woman named Vernon. Worked with me at the jail, helped me bring sh*t inside.

She was m*rder*d. A man set fire to her house in the middle of the night and let her burn inside. You gonna get me my retribution.

Look, I know what I'm asking ain't easy...

Boyd: It ain't that so much.

It sounds like this fella has it coming. [ Sighs ]

It just bothers me that I don't know you, and you know a hell of a lot more about what my fiancée's doing than I do. Well, all you need to know, you want your woman to be safe, this what has to happen. How you think he feel being treated like that?

Like a sh*t smear on they shoes? Humiliated. Shut up!

Why you think that old, tired-ass, bourbon-soaked has-been Miller's on the hunt?

That must by why everybody missing and why Kentucky down here.

I don't know. Hey, I ain't gonna tell you guys again.

[ Scoffs ] When is this little D.E.A.

Punk gonna Learn how to wipe his own ass? When daddy says he can. You don't like the truth, do you, whipping boy? They keep you in the dark, whipping boy?

All right. I'm just gonna chalk that up to you two being upset, what with half your crew dead in Mexico. Oh, yeah. Y-you didn't know that?

[ Chuckling ] Yeah. Federales found them all sh*t up in their truck with traces of heroin. Long gone. Oh, I bet... I bet you two boys were expecting that heroin to come your way, weren't you? [ Chuckles ]

You know what that means, don't you? There's a lot up for grabs.

It's "now or never" time, baby. Mm-hmm. Hammer and anvil?

Yep. Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey. Hey.

Sit your asses down. God damn it, guys! You can't sh**t us, dude.

What you think it's gonna look like, you k*lling a couple homies in cuffs?

Yeah, I will take the cuffs off after. You ain't got the balls to do that. That's Miller's department. Oh, yeah? Try me.

Okay. Who you gonna hit first, huh? Ohh!

Whoo! Down goes Frazier, baby! Down goes Frazier! Yeah!

Hammer and anvil, baby. Hammer and anvil. Get the keys.

Has he left yet? No, we still here. What's going on?

The clock is running down. Boyd Crowder hit back. You tell Hot Rod.

He give us where Boyd Crowder's at, and maybe he lives. What the hell now?

Come on. Let's go. [ Laughs ]

[ Groans ] [ Breathing heavily ] How do I know?

You been with me damn near the entire time. Where he at?

I ain't gonna ask again. Geez. All I know is he got a bar up in Harlan. That's a start. Where? Try Google.

You son of... no, no, no! Okay, okay! Stop.

I tell you what. You grab a pencil. I'll draw you a map.

You can't find anything out there without a... a map.

Raylan: I didn't know Hot Rod was a legitimate businessman. He ain't.

It's just a way to move the dope.

Raylan: Oh, but the dope in the tow car gives him deniability. It's an old trick, but it still works. [ g*nsh*t ]

g*n down! Now!

Aw, sh*t.

Just like you to show up two minutes late.

Hot Rod, what the hell have you gone and done? I got greedy.

Raylan: Anyone else here?

What are you doing here?

Raylan: Johnny Crowder and three of your boys turned up dead in Mexico. At the hands of Boyd, no doubt.

Damn crowders. [ Groans ] [ Coughs ] Miller.

Yeah? You got the flask? Yeah.

911. What is your emergency? Deputy U.S. marshal Raylan Givens.

We need an ambulance. You had this piece of sh*t ever since I know you.

[ Chuckles ] It's cheap sh*t. What, old dog like you gonna complain? Old dog being put down. Oh, sh*t.

Least I ain't dying in no jail cell, like your daddy. [ Groaning ]

Drink up, old man. Drink up. It'll make you feel better. Go ahead. There you go.

Drink it down. There you go. [ Breathing [ heavily ] Remember, I gave you that tip?

[ Chuckles ] Turned out to be a... a D.E.A. Sting.

You didn't even know what your own office was doing. Yeah.

It landed me in some epic sh*t. Almost lost my job.

[ Siren wailing in distance ] Aw, hell.

[ Telephone rings ] [ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Knock on door ]

Boyd: Afternoon. I'm sorry to disturb your rest, but the receptionist down the hall said that you're elmont Swain.

You come to tell me I won the sweepstakes, are you?

She sent you here, didn't she?

Boyd: I'm just here to talk. Don't lie to me, boy.

Show me that respect, at least.

Boyd: She said you k*lled her partner. Them sending that poison into the prisons, making my poor Helena overdose.

She was doing time for check fraud, for God's sake. Didn't deserve that.

Boyd: Well, if someone k*lled my woman, I'd do the same. That's my Helena.

Boyd: She's a beautiful woman. I got a bad heart, bad liver, and don't got long on this earth. But if you want to send me to her, you're gonna have to draw.

Boyd: Well, unless you want to meet your maker this fine day, I'd take my finger off that trigger, elmont. But I will tell you this... k*lling an old man in a nursing-home bed ain't on my bucket list.

In that case, you better turn around and head out of here.

Boyd: Well, I'm afraid I can't do that, either.

So we got a problem. [ Sighs ] How would you like to get out of here? Somewhere far away? I got the money and the motivation to set you up for life. Now, how about it?

Won't you save us both a whole lot of trouble and agree to live out the rest of your days like a king, Mr. Swain? How much money? Well, I don't really give a sh*t, but I guess it's good news. Henkins has a concussion, but he'll be all right.

Raylan: Rod was your C.I., huh?

For the better part of 15 years. He'd tip me to his competition.

Raylan: You let him peddle his pot. And you thought I was dirty, huh? So, with Jay and Roscoe after this Boyd Crowder, you got any notion of which way they're headed?

Raylan: I might.

It's still a D.E.A. Case, Givens. If you're headed over there, g*dd*mn right I'm going with you.

Raylan: [ Sighs ]

Boyd: What's your E.T.A. Now? I told you, I need some for Ava. Let's say two hours.

But I lost track of those idiots Danny and Dewey.

Can't get them on their cells.

Boyd: Well, keep trying.

Dewey: It keeps sending us to the highways.

Danny: Well, make it not.

Dewey: Oh, God, this damn thing don't work.

Danny: If we take this road, where does it get us?

Dewey: Oh, I don't know.

What road is this?

Danny: Dewey, Dewey, I thought you knew these roads.

Dewey: I know the highways.

Danny: You don't know sh*t!

Dewey: If it weren't for me, y'all wouldn't even be in...

Danny: I'm in the middle of nowhere with a redneck that stinks like my ball sack, towing a car full of heroin that will put me away for two lifetimes.

Now, unless you want me to set up a special meet and greet with our lord and savior, get this damn GPS working, you hear me?

Dewey: Yeah, man, I hear you.

Danny: Amen. [ Engine turns over ]

Simple piece of sh*t.

Help you boys? Your sure can. Y'all got maker's?

Does the pope sh*t in the woods? [ Chuckles ]

Doubles. Neat.

♪ ♪

Ohh! Aah! God damn! No need to get rough!

sh*t, take the money and go.

The money? Oh, no, you got us all wrong.

We looking for someone name of Boyd Crowder. The word is that this his place.

Do you know him?

No. No, I... Aah. [ Groaning ]

Hey, man, take that sh*t out his mouth so he can talk, man. 'Scoe!

Take it out. You were saying? Uh... Y-y-yeah, yeah, I know him. Oh, okay. 'Cause your boy k*lled our crew and took our dr*gs, so this the score. We gonna let the song play out to the end so you can think about that, then you gonna tell us where we can find him, or that'll be the last song you ever hear. He's not even here... shh! Song ain't over yet. [ Buzzer sounds ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Ava Crowder? You're scheduled for a hep-b sh*t tonight.

Check in with the infirmary before lights out.

You're Crowder? You're the bitch who messed up our supply?

Ava: I'm working on it. Unless you got a gram shoved up your p*ssy for me right now, you ain't taking care of anything.

Ava: I will have something soon. Something soon. "Something soon" means sh*t.

You ain't got anything on you right now, it's time to catch cold.

No, it's time for you to back off. This bitch is messing me up.

Look at me. I said, "look"! Don't be preaching none of your goddess bullshit. You can cut her and you can cut me, but it's not gonna help you. Making this bitch bleed will help Learn her.

This what you really want to do? You really want to cut someone?

You want to cut me, then you cut me... really cut me.

Don't do this half-assed, fiending bullshit to make yourself feel bigger and badder.

That don't come from out here.

You deal with that in there. The real fight is inside you, not out here.

But if you want that real fight, we can always arrange it.

You just say where and when.

[ Women murmuring ]

Don't mind if I do. Hey, Raylan.

Raylan: Hmm?

[ Thud ] [ Gasps ] [ Screams ]

Raylan: Two men after Boyd? What?

Raylan: Who did this?

Those assholes! They sh*t next to my ear! I can't hear you!

Raylan: Two guys looking for Boyd, right?! They did this?!

Yeah.

Raylan: Where are they?! The whorehouse!

Hey, wait, man, I don't need this sh*t! Wait! What about me?!

God damn! What the hell kind of place is this?!

Darryl: It's real simple. Crowes want to be responsible for transporting your heroin across state lines. We already demonstrated our ability to successfully navigate the border patrols, and with the risk that assumes, we feel we entitled to 20% of the pie, which leaves plenty to go around.

Wynn: That's it?

Darryl: Just that we appreciate the opportunity, and we are excited to be a part of all your endeavors.

Wynn: So that's it?

Darryl: Yeah.

Wynn: Well, I just have a few questions I'd love to get cleared up before we get into specifics.

Darryl: sh*t, yeah. Such as?

Wynn: Where are our dr*gs?

Boyd: Carl's truck's already arrived. The other one's still en route.

Darryl: They'll be here real soon.

Wynn: Well, maybe we should wait until "real soon" to finish this discussion.

Darryl: No, you ain't got to worry, Mr. Duffy. Everybody's gonna be just fine, trust me.

Even if it arrives safely and we agree to go with you, 20% ain't happening.

Darryl: Well, what would you consider fair for this kind of specialized labor?

Wynn: 10%. And that's of what you actually deliver, not what you leave Mexico with.

Wynn: There are three other partners involved in this enterprise. If we pay you 20%, then you're making almost as much as us, and that hardly seems fair.

Darryl: Well, if you can't find someone to get your sh*t over here, y'all gonna be splitting exactly Jack sh*t.

Yo, this Audry's famous whorehouse? It is. But we are closed.

Damn. What happened, all the p*ssy ran out on y'all or something?

We're fumigating.

Fumigating? The whores?

I knew you would like that. But seriously, though, I'm gonna need to take a peek inside.

Seriously. If I got to tell you we're closed again, we gonna have a problem. You already got a problem. Meet Roscoe.

Say hi, Roscoe.

Hi.

Why don't we say 15% and call it a day?

For 15%, I'll smuggle it in myself.

Darryl: So go ahead and do it, man. Stop wasting my g*dd*mn time.

Wynn: Something wrong?

I don't suppose I got to tell y'all not to reach inside your coats or do anything accordingly stupid. Wynn: Can we help you gentlemen?

I bet you can. Which one of y'all Boyd Crowder?

Boyd: Who may I say is asking? Who? [ Chuckles ] We are.

Boyd: Well, whoever you are, taking into consideration everything that's happened in the last 48 hours, I take it you're here for dr*gs or money or maybe revenge.

Man, this dude! Yes. God damn, I love it.

But you can keep the revenge.

We'll just take the dr*gs or the money.

In fact, I'll even let you pick which.

Boyd: Well, that's mighty considerate.

[ Chuckles ] Boyd Crowder's the man. Mm-hmm.

Boyd: So, how about it, boys? What should we give them, huh?

Half a mil? But why stop there?

'Cause y'all probably want the full mil, right?

Or, better yet, we could just give you all our dr*gs, let you take that.

How would that be for you boys?

Don't do this, Boyd. Now, see, we was getting along there for a minute, right?

So don't ruin it.

Boyd: Actually, we might have a job opening.

All you got to do is k*ll this fella right here, agree to 10%, and you can become our new smugglers.

Darryl: Man, is you out your mind?

Ain't nobody doing sh*t to me.

Boyd: Or better yet, why don't we all just pull right now? sh**t this sh*t out, see what's what when the smoke clears, huh?

Darryl: Boyd, cool out, man. I'll take 10%.

Boyd: Shut up, Darryl.

It's already too late for that.

Darryl: Okay.

Boyd: Come on, boys.

Who's in?

Raylan: Miller, would you call this a herd, a gaggle, or a flock of assholes? I would call this a united nations of assholes.

Boyd: Well, that's funny, 'cause we were just discussing ratifying some sh*t.

Raylan: Boys, we're gonna need you two to put them g*ns down.

Boyd: Uh, Raylan, can I be excused from the table?

Raylan: No, you may not.

Boys. Reason not the need, marshal. Here we go.

Raylan: I'm sorry? "King Lear"? Shakespeare?

Basically, Lear split his kingdom in half and gave it to his two daughters, deal being Lear get to hang out and keep 100 knights.

They agree, and then later, these two bitch-ass daughters, they change the deal.

They like, "well, daddy, what you need with 100 knights? 50, 10, 5? What you need with one?"

Lear says, "reason not the need." Hot damn!

Reason not the need. Uh-huh.

Raylan: I don't understand what these two are talking about, but I got to admit I'm interested.

Well, in the analogy, we be Lear, and we just want what's rightfully ours, and then we out, never to be seen again. And, well, they the b*tches.

You can have them and they kingdom.

Raylan: You two assaulted a D.E.A. Agent.

And you got Hot Rod k*lled. Yeah, but that's all 'cause of these folks here.

We handed them to you. You ought to be thanking us.

No way either of you are walking out of here in anything less than handcuffs.

I'm gonna give you three seconds, Roscoe. Drop the g*n. Look, now, I know you upset over Hot Rod, but you know better than to push us, Miller. Whoa!

Your brother threatened a D.E.A. Officer.

Put that g*n down, or I'll k*ll you dead.

Raylan: Put it down. [ Groans ]

Put it down.

Raylan: Don't do it, Jay. Put it down.

So, what now? Want to go hunt down some tow trucks?

Raylan: I'm gonna head back to Lexington, enjoy some of this vacation.

Yeah, I ought to do that from time to time.

Take some time off, go see my kids. But somehow, that never seems to quite end up happening.

Raylan: Thought you didn't have kids? No, I never said that.

Raylan: [ Chuckles ] Take it easy, Miller.

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Tires squeal ]

Boyd: I apologize for running late. Had a little hiccup with the local authorities. Really are a criminal, ain't you, son?

Boyd: Well, I can't deny that, Mr. Swain. I still got my g*n, you all try anything.

Boyd: Relax, elmont. You on easy street now.

Hell are you doing?

Boyd: Well, if it's all right with you, I'm gonna take a piss.

Nothing funny. Of course not. Jimmy, get elmont here his money. Ease his weary mind. Now, I'll be right back.

[ Gagging ]

It's done. Kendal: Four in a row.

Wendy: Dang.

Kid, you are sharp, I'll give you that.

Kendal: What are we doing here, Wendy?

Wendy: Just waiting for Darryl to make bail.

Kendal: I don't mean that.

Wendy: Look, we talked about this.

We just got to stay put for another couple of days, all right?

We are almost there. Hey. Everything all right?

Darryl: No matter where you at, it's the same dumb-ass cops asking the same dumb-ass questions. What y'all playing?

Kendal: Double solitaire.

Darryl: You got another deck?

Kendal: No, sorry.

Hey, I said I ain't got another one.

Darryl: Damn, son, what is you scared I'm gonna find?

Kendal: Nothing, but that's my sh*t.

Wendy: Come on, Darryl, what are you doing?

Darryl: What you got? p*rn?

Kendal: I ain't got nothing.

Darryl: Gay p*rn?

Wendy: Darryl!

Darryl: Shut up.

Ain't no p*rn. It's close to two g's, man.

You want to explain this?

Kendal: It's mine. I earned it.

Darryl: Oh, you earned it, huh? What, is you sucking d*ck in the trailers?

Huh?

Wendy: You best answer him, Kendal.

Darryl: How you get all this?

Wendy: Go on.

Kendal: I stole it from the Johns that came in.

Darryl: You... How you steal...

I'm keeping this sh*t. Kendal: That's mine.

Darryl: Ain't sh*t yours.

When you grow... Kendal! Kendal! Man, what is wrong with him?

Wendy: Well, maybe he's just looking for a way out.

Darryl: A way out?

Why you keep talking about getting out?

Wendy: We both want out, Darryl. All right? This place just ain't right.

Darryl: You sound g*dd*mn stupid. I got one truck of dope here.

Another one is on the way. We know the pipeline, we know the players.

I'm fitting to k*ll three people. We gonna take over the entire heroin business in Kentucky.

Wendy: I don't want that.

I don't want no part of that.

Neither does Kendal. I want my cut of what all you're about to get in, and then I'm gone.

Darryl: You don't want that?

[ Buzzer sounds ]

Ava: I'm here for my sh*t.

Go on and sit.

Ava: You talk to Boyd? Skinny, little stick of a man?

He able to satisfy all your needs?

Ava: I think more important is whether he was able to satisfy yours. Well, yes and no.

Must be nice to have a man to do your every bidding, 'cause he sure done this one real well.

Ava: Then we're good. No. There's one more thing I need.

Ava: Hold on. We had a deal. See, here's the amazing thing about you being the convict and me being the non-convict... you don't got any leverage.

Ava: This is how you do business? This is why you didn't want Judith in on this?

You cross her, too? No, the deal's still good.

See, just one more condition.

See, the first one was you helping me on the outside, and this is you helping me on the inside.

Ava: Hmm. You want to hear it or not?

It's no big thing. You just got to k*ll mother superior.

Ava: Come again? You want your sh*t, you got to k*ll Judith.

Ava: [ Groans ]

Art: Jesus Christ. Is this real, or has early-onset dementia finally set in, and I'm starting to see you in my waking hours?

Raylan: Got a tip.

Art: Yeah, I heard that from the D.E.A. Sac in Memphis.

Called to thank me for our assistance.

Raylan: You're welcome.

Art: So, what, you're filing reports on your vacation? That's a violation of the D.O.J. Employment guidelines.

Raylan: The vacation was postponed. I got to take care of a few things first.

Art: [ Scoffs ] Meaning, you can't go on vacation because you're working. 'Cause that's who you are, Raylan.

Right? You're a working man.

Raylan: You know, I might be on to something here, Art.

Wynn Duffy mixing it up with the crowes?

Art: Don't worry.

D.E.A.'S already asked for your assistance.

I'm not gonna take you off the case. Congratulations. You win again.

Raylan: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Art: [ Chuckles ] You know what?

My wife is right... I'm the crazy one here, thinking that you're gonna change.

I mean, what the hell's ever gonna do that?

I've already torn you so many new assholes, you don't know which one's the original, but you're still the same guy that kicked up here from Florida. I tell you what to do, you do whatever the hell you want, somehow it all works out, and I'm the dumb-ass losing sleep over it.

Raylan: I asked you to make a choice, Art.

If you don't like the way I do things...

Art: Well, I'm not gonna make that decision.

'Cause I don't have to, right? I've still got a week and a half.

I'm gonna enjoy my time. Hell, why am I even talking to you?

You're not even here.

Raylan: Art, I'm here.

Let's get to this.

Let's just resolve this.

Art: No. I'm still the g*dd*mn boss, until somebody tells me otherwise. And if I say you're not here, you're not here.

♪ ♪

[ Tires screech ]

Dewey: You cut it with baby laxative?

Danny: Hell, yeah.

You didn't know that?

Dewey: I dealt mostly with pills.

Danny: Aw, yeah, man. I... I see cocaine, and I just sh*t my pants.

Yeah, it's all cut with that sh*t. What's this cock-knocker doing, man?

Dewey: I told you we shouldn't have taken the highway.

Danny: Dewey, shut your g*dd*mn mouth.

Hey, assh*le, Learn how to drive! Oh, you just barked up the wrong tree! [ Breathing heavily ]

D.E.A., show me your hands.

Danny: Dewey, how far you think that car is from here?

Dewey: The hell you doing?

Danny: Officer. How you doing? Is there a problem?

Won't be, soon as you're down on the ground with your hands on your head.

Danny: Oh, that's not necessary. I belive my w*apon says otherwise.

Danny: Ah, see you got your g*n out.

Ain't gonna work. You ever hear of the 21-foot rule?

Matter of fact, I have.

Danny: Certain kind of man would think that it's fake.

Of all the harmful, epic bullshit on the Internet, 21-foot rule's top of the list, pal.

Danny: [ Chuckles ] Why don't you holster that g*n?

I holster it, you gonna be the second assh*le I sh**t today.

Danny: [ Chuckles ] I'll make sure to put that on your tombstone.

Here we go.

[ Tires screech ]

Dewey: [ Screams ]