02x20 - Andi & Philip, Sittin' in a Tree

[bunniefuu]

I know, right, it's so awesome.

I-I-I mean, um, how terrible was that?

Foam...

Lots of... Foam.

My dad is pretty mad.

So is Desdemona.

I hope Daniel's okay.

Ah, foam washes out pretty easy.

Embarrassment, though, that stuff stays on you a long time.

Wait, you wanna leave... Already?

We still have like three pizzas coming out.

I think he's asking you to dance.

[Grunting]

What?

Um, but I just ate a lot of pizza...

And soda and...

What if... What if it shakes up on the dance floor and I barf everywhere?

[Laughs] You know what?

I think he'd actually like that.

Emma, back me up here.

Go on, Andi, you'll be fine.

You call that backing me up?

Come on, live a little.

♪

What are they doing?

I'm not sure.

But I kinda like it.

♪

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I just wanted to say watching you use your powers to make Andi happy, you inspired me.

I have?

Yeah.

And if I ever get my powers back again, I wanna use them to make the people I care about happy.

Like you do.

You will get them back.

I'll help you, I promise.

[Applause]

I'll be right back.

I'm just gonna go congratulate Daniel.

Yeah, sure, no problem.

And after Emma gets my powers back, Daniel really will be no problem... Ever again.

♪ I cast a spell ♪
♪ it takes a hold of you ♪
♪ I see my dreams ♪
♪ and they're all coming true ♪
♪ come on, let's go ♪
♪ you and me together ♪
♪ look up ahead ♪
♪ there's a magical adventure ♪
♪ Every Witch Way, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
♪ I'm trying Every Witch Way, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
♪ I'm going Every Witch Way, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪
♪ Every Witch Way ♪

[knocking on glass]

Maddie Winkie?

Did I just see the plants moving outside?

It's just probably that, uh, pesky skunk that comes around sometimes.

No.

The rustling was too high for it to have been a skunk.

Well, don't you know that skunks are like expect climbers?

[Gasps]

They are?

Yeah.

We learned that in, um... in history class.

Animal history class.

You're taking animal history?

All right, that's it!

That skunk is mine!

Wait, where are you going?

I am going to Chase it down and pelt it with my hair curlers.

But aren't those hot curlers?

Yes, even better.

Noooo!

Wow, you're so popular.

Popular?

What did he say?

[Laughs]

He said, "back off, "I'm with Andi and totally uninterested in any of you."

[Laughs] Hey, Phillip, my good man.

[Makes expl*si*n noises]

He's fitting right in.

Sort of.

And... and he's super popular.

But with all the attention he's getting, aren't you worried someone might notice he's...

Not exactly human?

Yeah, maybe you should just stop using delicious smelling shampoo.

You know there's an easy solution to people not noticing Phillip?

Just erase their memories of him.

No.

I wanna help Andi, but messing with people's memories, it's going too far.

The whole point of having powers is to push the boundaries.

That's what my dad always says.

Yeah, well, my dad always says, [In deep voice]

"Mathematics are the building blocks of civilization."

Wait, that wasn't the right saying.

Trust me.

The more you use your powers, the better.

And when you get my powers back, then we can push the magical boundaries together.

What if I don't wanna push the boundaries?

Ha, and just be a regular old witch?

Is that what you think of me?

Em... Emma!

Master Desdemona?

Big news.

Emma and Jax are fighting.

Something about Emma getting Jax's powers back for him.

Our plan to get Emma back together with Daniel is working.

Fine, your plan.

Yes, I'll try to get to more information, coach Desdemona.

Desdemona?

Trying to get Emma and Daniel back together?

Inspector agamemnon is on the case.

Hey, guys.

What happened to you?

My mom thought he was a skunk and pelted him with hot curlers.

My hero.

Soph, let's get to class.

Who keeps texting you?

All these boys.

They saw "Romeo and Juliet" and now they wanna ask me out.

[Laughs]

Mm.

They're fake.

I know.

I love the smell of polyester.

She's under a spell.

Quick, a zombie hunter, play dead.

Coast... Clear.

Predator zombie approaching, get your crossbow out.

The zombie's face is melting.

Oh, wait, that's just the regular face.

You guys look pathetic.

Pastel Tuesdays are pathetic.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down.

She dissed my face.

She dissed our larping.

What's larping?

Live action role playing game.

[Laughing] Just when I thought you couldn't any lamer, he shows up and ups the lameness factor.

Don't you dare say that about Phillip.

Oh, oh, oh, I'm so scared of you and Phillip.

[Growling]

What's he doing?

He is trying to bite me?

Okay, uh, let's go.

He's so bonkers.

How dare he?

You're right, he's bonkers.

Hey, I had that under control.

Under control?

Gigi, could you give us a minute?

Sure.

Right after I get an exclusive interview with iridium's hottest new item... Andi and Phillip.

Well, I mean, I guess one interview couldn't hurt?

Andi?

[Growling]

What is he doing?

I can't wait to put this up on my blog.

What?

No!

Hey!

You have your own safety goggles?

[Laughs]

Yeah.

Actually... I have two.

My dad got them for me for my birthday last year.

You know that you don't have to put them on yet?

We're not in lab.

Yeah, but wearing them around really ups my nerd cred.

[Laughs] Well, in that case... did you solve your half of the formula last night?

Um, did I tell you how beautiful you look in those safety goggles?

Jax!

You didn't, did you?

This lab counts for 50% of our final grade.

I tried, but it's... it's just so hard living life without my powers.

I can't fail this lab!

I'll fail the class.

My dad, my gpa, my nerd cred!

I know.

Look, I'm sorry.

Only if there was just some way that you could make those formulas appear.

Of this formula, we only have a fraction, reveal the other half that will produce the correct reaction.

[Laughs] Sweet.

We're definitely gonna get as now.

Wait, I... I cheated.

I shouldn't be happy about this.

I take my high five back.

That's two close calls in one day.

But gigi and Maddie had it coming.

I wanted to bite them, and I'm not even a zombie.

Andi, I know you really care about Phillip, which is why you should wanna do what's best for him.

Which is?

Send him back where he belongs... in the videogame.

He could get blasted into smithereens in there.

He's survived so far.

Yeah, but we're getting close to the expert levels.

I don't know how he'll survive those.

Oh, stealer choices.

He just needs a little time to adjust to our world.

I told you guys he was bonkers.

Cute and a little pale... But bonkers.

[Laughing]

Okay, that's it!

Phillip... Hungry.

Maddie... Brains.

Andi, all... all right, let's go, let's get out of here.

Excuse me.

Phillip almost ate Maddie's brain.

That's exactly why he shouldn't be here!

What, he'd be doing us all a favor!

I mean, how much cooler would a zombie Maddie be than regular Maddie?

Scary.

That's not the point.

The point is, he's not going to adjust to our world.

He's always going to be a zombie, no matter how much you try to distract him with pizza.

Oh, but Phillip is... wait.

Where's Phillip?

[Phone ringing]

Hang on, my mom's video calling me.

Mother, what is it?

Who is that?

Who is that next to you, Maddie?

It's just Katie.

[Laughs]

Maddie Winkie, you get back on this phone right now!

Maddie can't come to the phone right now, Mrs. van p.

Is that or is that not Diego?

Um, please hold and... Mute.

Well, what should I tell her?

No, duh.

Okay, I will.

If you promise to make a boyfriend.

What?

No way.

Yes, Mrs. van p...

[whispering] Okay, fine.

You were just seeing things.

I-I-I... gotta go, bye.

♪ I'm getting a boyfriend ♪
♪ I'm getting a boyfriend ♪

Uh, we can't stay here, gigi will be back any second.

And this is where we were when Andi stole my phone.

Returning to the scene of the crime?

Arrest them!

Uh, gigi here tells me you stole her phone?

And my pizza.

What, I didn't steal it, I just borrowed it.

I should press charges.

I should be filming this.

Uh, no, gigi, no... uh, Andi... Return gigi's phone.

Okay, I just need to check one thing.

No, now!

[Growling]

Phillip!

Phillip, it's okay.

[Growling]

Turn those lights off!

Are you okay?

Is he okay?

Camera down, gigi.

Class now.

Did he just try to bite my head?

What?

[Nervous laughing] No, no, no.

No, that's just a... Romanian custom.

Custom or not, that is unacceptable at iridium high.

I have to suspend him.

What? No.

And you... you take your friend off school grounds.

Me?

Why me?

Oh, because I saw you egging him on.

And because I also know you have the last period free.

Slacker.

There's only one way to know who's telling the truth.

This shoe will reveal if what Lily said is real.

Almost there.

Almost.

Desdemona?

Yes?

So close.

[Evil laughing] Oh.

Desdemona.

It can't be.

She framed Lily, and I fell for it.

I have to stop her before she destroys us all.

And I have to stop talking to myself.

Whoa, nice move.

How is he?

He's fine.

We've just been playing... zombie apocalypse 3.

Yeah.

And look how happy he is.

He could be this happy all the time... If you just let him go back into the game.

But he... we... you don't know him at all.

I know that the game is the only thing that calms him down.

No, there's also another thing.

Pizza.

Pizza?

See?

Come on, Phillip, let's go get some pizza at the seven.

How many pizzas has he eaten in the last few days?

Only a few... Hundred.

Danny?

I mean, Daniel, hi.

Can I come in?

It's important.

Yeah, sure.

Uh, hey, Jax, how's it going?

Yeah, great.

Just chilling on the couch all day with my Em cuddling.

What's the matter?

It's Andi.

She refuses to send Phillip back into the game, even though he tried to bite several people in school today.

Did they see him?

Oh, they saw him.

He tried to bite both of them.

What?

[Laughing] What?

I mean... What?

And now she's at the seven with him.

If he tries to bite someone there, someone could see him and... it could be really bad.

Oh, I should have sent him right back into the game when he first arrived.

It's okay.

You tried to make Andi happy, and I get that.

Are you done here?

Me and my Em need to get back to cuddling.

I have to fix this.

Let's get to the seven.

What?

That didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.

Here we are.

What are those?

My potential boyfriends?

And hanging out with the panthers just keeps getting more bizarre.

I'm leaning towards the golden retriever.

The bulldog would be funny.

And the chihuahua would be super active.

But the retriever would be loyal, strong and loving.

Doing this spell I thought I'd never, but turn this dog into a boy who will love Katie forever.

Oh, he's so cute.

He'll make the perfect boyfriend.

[Barking]

What's happening?

Why is he following me?

Because he's the love of your life, remember?

[Laughs]

I change my mind.

I don't want a dog boyfriend.

Maddie, change him back.

Sure, I will, after you get your punishment for blackmailing me.

What punishment?

Living with your dog boyfriend for the rest of the day.

No!

Andi... Pretty.

You... you think I'm pretty?

You're so cute.

You didn't tell me Phillip tried to bite my dad.

Oh, did I leave that tiny detail out?

Andi, he's bound to actually bite someone soon.

And anybody could see.

Relax, he's fine.

But I have used almost all my savings on pizza for him.

Can I borrow a few bucks?

How 'bout it, partner?

I thought you said no dice on the partnership?

Ah, I've reconsidered.

Now, money... cough it up.

Andi, this has to stop.

I mean, he's fine right now, but he could get... gigi bad... Hurt Andi.

[Growling]

[Screaming]

Oh, is he about to do another dance?

What do we do?

We send him back!

No!

[Barking]

Wait, get back!

Do not talk to Howard like that.

Who's Howard?

Katie's boyfriend.

He is not.

[Laughing] Someone's got great taste.

Oh, like you should talk.

Hey, don't talk about Emma like that.

Don't defend Emma, that's my job.

Guys, please?

Proxy, do something!

Wait, whose side are you on?

I-I-I don't know.

[Indistinct arguing]

Andi... Bad.

[Growling]

I've got him!

Send him back now!

He tried to eat Sophie!

Phillip hungry.

Want bite.

You're a danger too, you can't be tamed.

Go back to where you came from, go back into the game.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm good.

[Indistinct arguing]

Phillip!

Phillip, where are you?

What did you do?

Phillip tried to eat Sophie's brain, so I... she sent him back into the game.

Emma!

Andi, I'm sorry, but I had to.

I thought you wanted me to be happy.

I never thought you would hurt me like this.

Andi, wait!

Daniel: Need some company?

Daniel.

How'd you know I'd be here?

Um, I didn't.

I felt bad about Andi and came here.

Me, too.

So it's sort of our spot.

The wrong witch is in limbo I fear.

Take Lily out and send her here.

Oh, 247 spells attempted, 8,500 to go.

Oh, it's no use.

You'll never figure out the right spell.

You!

You deceitful, manipulative, cowardly council member.

Or shall I say ex-council member.

I do hereby send you to the... we'll see about that!

[Laughing]

My hair!

Nooooo!