05x05 - It's Your Lucky Fae

[bunniefuu]

Last time on Lost Girl...

Trick: Three dead humans.

I want you and Vex to look into it.

We're dealing with a cult here.

A Fae cult.

Dyson, those bodies from the elevator crash... they were taken the other night.

Wanna tell us what you're running from?

He's here.

(grunt)

What is it about you?

Why are you hunting me?

'Cause you're a shifter.

The hell are you?

Dyson: A shifter, like you.

I'm trouble, everyone says so.

I'll never see it that way.

Because I'm your father.

♪

♪

And that's when I decided to up and leave.

Reclaim who I used to be.

(phone buzzing)

Oh, thank god.

But, uh, keep talking.

Super interested in your "journey".

(phone beeps)

Hello?

Your insight; I need it.

Birthday gift from hell.

Literally.

You want me to tell you what it means. That's all I'm good for.

Look, I'm on a... date, so whatever's going on with you... tomorrow; lukewarm pints at the Dal, your treat.

Fine, tomorrow.

♪

Here's hoping there is one.

You said you're new to town?

Oh, I'm boring.

But you, you're fascinating.

Please continue.

Siblings?

I've a douche bag cousin, named Seymour.

That count?

I have a sister who's a party girl, only wants to have a good time.

Personality out the wahzoo.

Sounds fun.

Is she single?

Hardly.

But she was thrilled when I told her you're an oracle.

So she's looking for a reading.

And lemme guess; you too?

Fine, let's just do it and get it over with.

Actually, I'd like to order.

Are you ready?

You seriously don't want a reading?

That's all anyone ever wants...

You're offended.

Surprised.

Oracle doesn't exactly spell lucky in love.

Y'know?

Well your luck is about to change.

Because I believe that life is about anticipation.

That's the fun part.

Yeah... condo overlooking the city.

Breakfast bar in the kitchen.

How 'bout you?

What's your five-year?

Same thing.

Only there's a dog in mine. Gatsby.

He hates walks and he opens wine bottles with his teeth.

You know, if you can see the future, do you see this?

Umm.

Wow, you're a, uh, a really good kisser.

And a gentleman.

Call me tomorrow.

♪

Please God, let the peen check out.

♪

What the?

(grunts of pain)

(crash)

What. The sh*t. IS HAPPENING!!!

(crash)

(cries of pain)

(screaming)

♪

What's with you playing daddy-do-little to Dyson's mini me?

Oh, he's working here.

Mark's new to our colony.

Exposure to fae kind will do him some good.

Yeah, it's not the first person he's exposed himself to.

Huh?

Uh, nothing.

Hey, have you seen Cassie?

She was supposed to meet me...

Not yet.

But here, I got you something.

Oh Trick... wow.

Bo: Thank you.

Oh.

Belonged to Alexander the Fae.

Handed down to our family for generations.

Happy birthday, Bo.

You gave me the finger.

(laughing)

Birthday finger. Right.

(clears throat)

Um, I have stuff to do...

Can't believe that we forgot Bo's birthday. We're the worst.

I understand how I forgot because, hello, it's me...

But how did you forget?

I've had a lot on the go. I've very busy...

Sucking up to Evony?

I like to call it "working".

Working, schmerking...

Still, we need to make it up to Bo.

I'm thinking: surprise party at the Dal, yeti strippers and drink till we vom.

Always with the class. Actually, that's good.

Keep her out...

I can bake a cake, get some balloons... that kinda thing.

And find the perfect present.

(gasp)

Tamsin: You've been replaced, cause I found Bo's new...

No!

What?

I was gonna say: companion.

You can't be serious.

That thing is awful.

What about that? Bo loves knick-knacks.

Tamsin: No one loves knick-knacks.

Cause they don't bring you luck, that's why.

That kitty's from the Emperor Kang dynasty.

The legend says Kang was a poor warrior 'til he came upon that magic kitty.

Magic kitty?

That cat brings luck to its owner and people around them.

Word.

How much?

Ohhhh... I don't know if I can sell it.

That brings us back to the knick-knack.

But seventy-five outta cover it.

I'll take it.

Gimme seventy-five bucks.

(voicemail) ...got something better to do than talk to you ..

Leave a message and I'll call you... maybe.

Cassie, it's Bo.

If you're there pick up.

Or call me.

Or... smoke signals or something.

Cassie's not returning any of my texts or phone calls.

Maybe she's sick.

It's not like you to worry.

Something going on?

With me?

Mhm.

No, no.

I'm just concerned about Cassie.

Which is why I'm going over there.

Okay.

Happy Birthday!

Wow.

You guys shouldn't have... really.

I didn't.

This is from me.

It's...

Don't say knick-knack.

Well, that was only part of my gift.

The cat is also from me.

Oh, now suddenly the cat's good enough for you.

The man said it'd bring you happiness and good luck.

But it's foolish to think that an external object can dictate the likelihood of fortunate events, so...

Who hurt you?

I love it!

It's very Roadkill chic.

Are you going somewhere?

Oh, Cassie's.

I have this bad feeling but I'm sure everything's fine.

I can come with.

Yeah, me too.

Um, you forgot that thing, you know,

that we talked about...

I'm not looking at your mole again... ohhhhhh, yes, that thing.

I have to stay and do that thing.

Yes, indeed.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay...

Okay.

Well, I'm on my cell if anybody needs me.

Which apparently you don't.

(knocking)

Cassie?

(knocking)

Cassie, it's Bo. Open up!

Lemme kick the door down.

Why don't we try the knob first?

(door opening)

It's unlocked.

That's unfortunate.

Lucky cat. Boom!

♪

Cassie?

We need to contain the scene.

There's more...

♪

We need to get blood samples to Lauren.

I'm gonna call D; tell him we caught a crime scene.

Yeah, because if it isn't, this was the worst dinner party in history.

Good evening, St. Louis.

Ahh!

For one night only, the greatest drummer since John Bonham and Keith Moon combined.

Minds will be blown... other things if you're lucky.

Mark: Put your hands together for...

(drum b*at playing)

Mark!

Huh?

What?

Hey.

Sorry, I was just... it looked dirty, so...

You still need to sign in.

Sign what?

This ledger contains all the names of the Fae who have passed through our colony.

And more than our names, our signatures contain our true power.

Wow.

Cool.

(ripping)

Oh, whoops.

This is why I keep it in my lair.

Thank you.

I thought I lost this.

I gotta go.

Okay, Dyson's at the crime scene.

He's got Lauren running the blood.

I called Pythia and Dedona, the other oracles.

Still waiting to hear back.

Bo, this is scary.

An oracle's abilities in the wrong hands can be deadly.

What about Cassie's family?

Called her cousin. He's coming in for questioning.

Wait?

Seymour?

Seymour: You remember, Succubabe.

(groan)

Seymour: I'm touched.

Colour me Archie.

It's Betty and Veronica.

Nice to see you too, Jughead.

Your uncle know you're outta jail already?

Una mens cut his throat as punishment.

Stole luck from the wrong fae.

What's this about Cassie?

She's been missing for 12 hours.

Tamsin: Something's happened to her.

Yeah, well. Cassie's special; people don't like that.

People like you?

I'm a soul eater; I suck people's spirits.

Not exactly beloved.

Sucking things made me popular.

I took over Mayer's racket and it's failing.

What's a bookie without the ability to steal luck?

Seymour: Instead of helping out, Cassie emancipated herself from the clan.

Maybe she felt you were trying to use her?

I can relate.

Family problems, eh?

Look, you want answers, talk to her computer dates.

Computer dates?

Robots.

Guys she met online; Fae Date.

She probably ran into some weirdo.

If you don't mind.

I've a business to save.

♪

What do you think?

I think it's time we start pricing dating memberships.

Dyson, it's me.

All the blood is the same type.

Any word from Bo?

Okay, well, keep me posted.

I'm here at the clubhouse.

(phone beeps)

Making a cake.

You know... the important stuff.

Salt!

Not sugar, that's salt!

(knocking)

No, no, no!

I asked for these to be delivered to the Dal Riata.

If you want me to take these to the Dal, it'll cost you extra.

Know what?

Just leave them with me.

I'll take them.

Something burning?

♪

Wha...?

(gasp)

No!

Bo's cake.

No!

♪

He said it'd bring luck... guess he didn't say what kind.

♪

Hey, you.

Think I dunno a dine and dash when I see one?

Yeah, well...

Trick's a mate of mine.

And that means I don't pay.

I'll let it slide this once.

Dude: you drink.

And then you pay.

Alright.

Have it your way then.

Hey, everybody, drunken beady eyes on me.

Now who has a weak drink courtesy of Abercrombie here...

What are you doing?

I saw you underpour three customers.

Planning on lifting a sniff later are we?

Fine.

Hey, everyone!

Mark: Your next drink?

It's on me.

You happy now?

Yeah.

Not as happy as I'm going to be.

Vex: Because those divine birds are giving us the hobbly-bob right now.

Us?

Rock, paper, guillotine?

Loser distracts the boyfriend.

Bollocks.

Maybe we should go someplace else.

No.

Here... it's perfect.

It's so...

Bookie.

Whatever you're on doll face.

I want some.

Mark: We should... probably get... ahhhh... ohh hh... that's good.

Mark: That's good. That's good.

I likey...

I likey a lot.

That's why I heart shifters so much.

Your bodies are always so... ripply.

Thanks.

Mark: You too.

Mark: Do you work out or something?

I'm gonna take that as a yes.

Thank you, paper.

Ohh... ahh...

Uh, hi.

Hi.

I wanna look at you.

Okay.

Hurry up.

They're profile pictures, not art.

Uh, not with that attitude.

Would it k*ll you to arch your back?

Oh yeah.

Okay.

(camera clicking)

Show poppa whatcha got.

How's this?

(camera clicking)

(purring)

You're purring.

I guess I was seized by the moment.

Okay.

Tamsin: Ooh, check out SelkieStud69 and his all too small t*nk top.

I'mma need a moment.

You had thirty moments with Brad'sPitstroll.

We need to finish my profile.

I just wanna wink at him.

(ding) There.

Okay.

Last person who messaged Cassie was Heratio55.

That was last night.

Think he'll believe I'm an oracle?

I think with a face like yours, he'll buy anything we say.

(typing)

(computer dings)

There.

Because you are Anika.

Oracle of his dreams.

Heratio55 won't even know what hit him.

What?

Pythia's mother said she'd call me once she reached her.

Still nothing.

D'you think another oracle's missing?

I think I need to get out there.

Okay.

Next profile question: What's your greatest aspiration in life?

We should try and match it to whatever Cassie said.

(typing)

(computer dings)

♪

What'd she write?

To find people she could trust.

It's not easy finding people you can trust in this life.

Guess she emancipated herself because she didn't want family.

(computer dings)

That was fast.

That was lucky.

(phone ringing)

You're not kidding. It's Cassie!

Hello?

Cassie.

Cassie?

Cassie, can you hear me?

I think her phone d*ed.

What'd she say? She ok?

No.

♪

(chains rattling)

Bo: (through phone) Cas, where are you?

Cas...

♪

Pretty sure that's something those girls will not soon forget.

Where is he?

I'm pretty sure that's something the boyfriend won't forget either.

I knew it. Paper never wins.

Hey, hey, hey.

Calm down, fella.

No one knows what really went on.

That puke had a threesome with my Kitty Kat.

Well, so you do then.

Whoa, man, y'know you should probably be thanking me.

Mark: Your girl needed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation; she was gonna die. I saved her life. More than once, actually.

I'm gonna make you a stain.

Feeling a bit parched?

Vex: Fancy a drink?

assh*le-tini?

(glass shatters)

Stop me if you've heard it... A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we got a drink named after you!" Screwdriver says, "Really? You got a drink named Murray?"

It's for Bo's birthday.

You okay?

Ever hear 3 dozen balloons pop simultaneously in a car?

It's loud.

Very, very loud.

Trick: Beautiful.

It was supposed to be chocolate.

Can someone explain to me why I'm breaking up bar fights instead of helping locate missing oracles?

Hey, who called McGruff the crime dog?

Dyson: And Trick's ledger is missing.

You happen to know anything about that?

Don't look at me, mate.

I was just a bystander.

I barely know the kid.

Good.

Keep it that way.

Stay away from my son.

Whoa, whoa.

Hold your horses.

Lemme get this straight.

Catalog face is your kin?

Annnnnd cue the violins.

You are my son.

Mark is a shifter; a warrior.

I won't let you ruin that for him.

Only one doing that is you.

You enjoy chasing your tail for other people.

Guess what?

I don't.

You have a birthright to claim.

Whether you know or not, soon you have to choose who to serve.

Yeah, that's easy.

Me.

You have a lot to learn.

Mark: Oh, is that so?

'Cause the way I see it, you're either the boss, or the bitch.

Which one are you?

Big words from a shifter who hasn't shifted yet.

I don't want your life.

♪

I didn't order this.

Tamsin: From the guy at the bar.

Ugh, this luck thing's getting so old.

(slurping)

What? I'm thirsty.

I get it. You don't wanna mess up your lipstick.

Operation skeezebag is a go.

Heratio?

It's so good to meet you.

Wow, your profile pictures did not do you justice.

Bathroom selfie, always a risk.

And you... words cannot describe.

Except, wow.

Just... wow.

You know, face likes yours; makes me worried you're hiding something twisted.

Well I am.

In that I am very flexible.

And forward.

I like it.

Makes my job easier.

And what job might that be?

Getting you to kiss me by the end of this.

Well, lucky for you, I'm a magic eight ball and the outlook is positive.

(whispering) What're you doing?

(whispering) What?

Do you wanna get out of here?

I know a better place than this. More intimate.

And there's k*ller Tiramisu.

Sounds like heaven.

It is.

In your mouth.

Well, I can think of something else that's heaven in my mouth.

Reflexes like a cat.

You're not the only one.

Will you excuse me just one second?

Bathroom break.

Sure.

Oh-my-god.

Something is wrong.

Like big wrong.

Real wrong.

Are you stress panting?

Okay, something's really wrong.

I don't like this. Let's go.

Not until we find out what he did with Cassie.

Then Indiana Jones your way through that sliding door, cause he's leaving.

Heretio: Are you ready?

Yes, of course.

But before we go...

I know you were the last to see Cassie before she went missing.

What did you do with her?

I kissed her goodnight and I left.

And then you went inside and you att*cked her.

I didn't hurt her.

I kissed her goodnight and left like a gentleman.

But you, I could never leave you.

That doesn't make any sense... if it wasn't you then...

Something's come up.

Call me!

♪

What happened... Whoa!

Holy hand hair!

Cat scratch fever, anyone?

Geez.

♪

Ow! Ow.

So, I'm turning into a cat.

Tamsin: I'm so sorry, Bo.

This is all my fault.

I don't understand. Is Bo a shifter now?

Trick: Not exactly.

The cat you gave her is an aitvaras.

Trick: By bringing good luck to its owner; it steals it from those who don't pay it reverence.

All this because I didn't respect the stuffed corpse of a dead cat?

Lauren: Ah, hand cramp, hand cramp!

We've got to get working.

It's a matter of time before its spirit takes over permanently.

That's it.

I'm blowing this thing to hell.

Are you gonna let her talk to you like that.

We can't destroy it while it's still feeding Bo luck.

It'll instantly devour her spirit; she will die.

Okay.

Let's think here.

There has to be a way to reverse the effects.

I should've just gotten you a Yeti stripper.

Oh.

(purring)

Okay, relax!

Everybody just... calm down, Tamsin.

Look.

We know that this thing works?

What if it's the key to finding Cassie?

What if I use the luck to find her?

No, embracing the luck means embracing transforming into a cat.

I don't approve.

Plus we don't have any solid leads.

You're not good in this state.

We have to worry about you.

I agree with Lauren.

The case can wait.

Cassie... she has a gift that people want to use.

You said it yourself, Tamsin; a missing oracle is a dangerous thing.

And as annoying as she has been all these years, she's a friend.

She helped us save Dyson.

Okay.

What are you proposing we do?

Tamsin: You cannot be serious.

Free money, lost earrings, drinks, Cassie's pocket dial...

I'm going to let blind luck lead me to Cassie.

Bo.

I know you're worried about Cassie.

But this is a little kamikaze of you.

I mean, this is even kamikaze for me.

Yeah, which is why we're putting our feet down.

I need you guys to trust me, okay?

Not just trust... believe.

Believe that I can do this.

Bo, it's not that we...

I'm in. I know you need support and I got you.

Oh, oh, I get it. I get it.

Ol' stick-in-the-mud-Lewis won't join the su1c1de party.

Well, you know what?

I'm in too.

Son-of-a...

Are we good?

How many fingers am I holding up?

How old...?

Gives new meaning to the term blind spot, huh guys.

Luck be my lady tonight.

Aaahh...

What if her bad luck cancels out your good luck?

(car starting)

♪

Lauren: Okay. Okay, that's fast. Okay... oh!

♪

This is the place.

Are you sure?

Of course.

You're the one leading this gong show.

(coughing)

What's the matter, Lauren?

I thought you were all boom-boom-pow over Bo's crazy wheel.

(coughing)

You totally swallowed a bug, didn't you?

Oh, come on, seriously!

Heads we go West.

Tails we go East.

Tails it is.

♪

You're not kidding.

♪

You're not happy to see me.

Actually, I'm thrilled cause it means you brought it back.

The book that you took earlier today.

That was you, right?

What book?

Forget it.

I'm kind of in the middle of a self made crap-storm right now.

After a storm.

What?

After the storm is the best part.

Oh my god, it worked.

It doesn't always work.

What can you do?

I'm a shifter.

I know, but shift into what?

I like Pandas.

I don't know yet.

Kinda starting to wish I did though.

Well isn't there someone you can talk to about that?

Yeah, except he's an opinionated jerk who thinks life's only about serving other people.

I serve my keepers.

Sorry, your keepers?

I mean, my parents.

Doesn't mean I'm subservient.

Means I'm important.

Maybe that's what you're really afraid of.

Being counted on.

Tamsin: Cassie!

Tamsin: Here Cassie, Cassie, Cassie.

We should be looking after Bo.

Think I don't know that?

What are we still doing out here?

Well, I trust her.

Lauren: O-kay, here we go.

You think you're the only one in the race.

Well, guess what, there's a new pony on the green...

Racing or gold: pick a metaphor.

Like it or not, Bo and I are getting closer.

Not just because we're living together.

There's something... amazing happening.

I'm very happy for you.

Still worried about Bo.

Bo?

♪

Bo?

Where is she?

♪

♪

(cr*ck)

(crash) Ugh.

Glad I wasn't a dog.

♪

(panicked breathing)

♪

Oh my god, Cassie.

Oh my god.

You're okay, I've got you.

Lauren: Bo?!

I'm gonna get you outta here.

You're safe now.

You're doing really great, Bo.

Ugh, where is Dyson?

Watch your step.

Dyson: I checked Seymour's bank accounts here.

Seems Heratio55 paid him off for information on Cassie.

But Bo and I cleared Heratio.

She questioned him herself.

Maybe she didn't ask the right questions.

You sold out your own flesh and blood?

It's business, what was I supposed to do?

I had to get paid somehow.

People don't get paid to suck spirits.

Maybe cause you suck, period.

Y'know, Tamsin.

Maybe you're just being a bit harsh.

Seems Seymour here is a little down on his luck is all.

My heart really bleeds for him.

Whose team are you on, D?

I'm just saying: not everyone has the kind of luck Bo does.

Yeah.

What makes her so damn lucky?

Oh, you know, just some silly superstition.

Only bought into by... idiots.

I'm listening.

It's Bo's lucky cat. See, dumb.

What Tamsin's saying is that the cat is imbued with an ancient spirit.

Brings luck to its owner.

And it works?

Uh, not for you.

It's Bo's.

Not anymore, it isn't.

I needed that.

Listen, hate to snort and run.

But I'm going to Reno. Win me some kitty.

You have no idea.

I'd say wish me luck, but I don't need it.

Whoa.

Bo?

Why am in a box?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I hate cats.

Hey.

Oh, hey.

Is Bo resting?

Yeah.

How's Cassie?

Well she woke up when medics were removing her from the cave.

I had to give her a sedative.

And her eyesight?

Well, we'll do our best to repair the tissue damage.

But without the oculus... our field is limited.

Three oracles, Dyson.

All without their eyes.

It doesn't make sense.

That's not the only thing.

The guy Bo went on a date with, Heratio55?

Did you look at him.

I didn't study his profile.

Why?

You recognize him?

Lauren: That's Kevin Brown.

He's one of the bodies from the elevator crash that went missing from the clinic.

Bo went on a date with a dead man.

♪

I'm bad at birthdays.

It's from Rosa's.

Lauren tried to make a cake but um...

Oh.

So that's what happened in the kitchen.

I thought you were night eating again.

You were amazing today.

Mmmmm... if there's something better than this, I have not encountered it.

♪

Don't be so sure.

You still feeling lucky?

♪

♪

Happy Birthday to me.

♪

Girls must've hated you.

You're beautiful, even like this.

Like what?

Sad.

I know something's been bugging you.

I've tried to ignore it, but...

Just tell me what it is.

I was born in hell.

I found out when I was in Tartarus.

My dad is Hades.

Family Christmas card's gonna be awkward this year, huh.

That was him... who I sat across when I made the deal.

Eyes both brown and blue.

That was Hades.

♪

Did you talk to him?

Nope... not that it would've made any difference.

No matter how hard I try to get away from him...

No matter how much good I try to do.

He'll always be part of me.

And he'll always find me.

Tamsin: A gift from Daddy?

When I was younger, I used to think Freyja controlled me.

Controlled how I felt, what I did.

Everything.

What changed?

Me.

You got empowered.

I got angry.

I need to find a way to separate myself from him for good.

So he can never hurt my real family again.

He's trying to use me for something.

Something terrible.

Then we won't let him.

No!

Stay away!

Cassie.

It's okay, it's okay. You're safe here.

It's me. It's Lauren. Dr. Lewis.

Dr. Lewis.

Where am I?

In my clinic.

Nobody can hurt you here.

We need to find out who did this. What do you remember?

No.

Come on.

Think back.

What did you see?

Everything.

All of it... The universe; every single moment since the beginning of time.

I... I couldn't...

You couldn't what?

It was too much.

The beginning.

The end.

The end?

The end of what?

Oh, c'mon, Cassie.

Who did this to you?

Me.

I did.

We did it to ourselves.

Why?

Why would you remove your own eyes?

It was the only way to make it stop.

♪

Bo Dennis.

Nice try, Succubus.

♪