01x07 - Unplanned Parenthood

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Chasing Life"...

I have a boyfriend!

You're gonna love me.

I've got 3 or 4 months to live if I'm lucky.

Worrying about the future is not living.

It's a party, and the door's open.

Greer!

Just leave.

So my dad cheated on my mum?

I didn't agree that he should keep this a secret.

He just didn't wanna hurt you, guys.

He wanted to protect you.

I'm making an appointment to see a fertility doctor.

Your life is more important than you having biological children.

That is not your choice to make!

How often do you have intercourse with your partner?

Uh... God, I hope this doctor's a chick.

(Clears throat) And I'm happy to report that I have intercourse a few times a week now.

Oh!

Whenever my partner's roommate isn't five feet away yelling about how kale isn't a real vegetable.

Seriously? The roommate gets that worked up about kale?

Among other things.

Would you consider your partner good in bed?

Yeah, it's not on there. I'm just curious.

He looks like he would be.

How satisfied are you in your relationship, if applicable?

I mean, it's sort of applicable, I'm in a relationship, but I don't know if the guy I'm dating is the guy I wanna have kids with.

Not that I wanna have kids anytime soon, because I'm 24.

I know, you should be sitting around some crappy apartment, getting drunk and watching videos of people twerking.

Not getting ready for chemo and harvesting your eggs.

So which one of you is gonna carry the baby?

We are having the hardest time deciding.

I have the more demanding job.

But I can't even keep a goldfish alive.

(Both chuckle )

We hear you.

I mean, she's the more nurturing one, but I have the child-bearing hips.

(Women laugh ) Women: Aww.

Aww.

(Laughs )

Normal in vitro usually takes two to three weeks, but since you need to start your chemo soon, there are some other options.

Let's see, you're 24, right?

Yeah.

Wow, you're so young. I'm sorry.

But the good news there is that we'll probably have success with natural cycle in vitro.

Which means no hormone sh*ts.

Thank God. She's moody enough.

And it's faster.

Since you already started your cycle, it'll take about 10 days.

Cool.

Never been so happy to start my cycle before.

And you're aware of the cost?

Yeah, I think my insurance will cover it.

(Sighs ) Unfortunately it won't.

Egg freezing is considered an elective procedure not a medical necessity.

So we'll pay out-of-pocket.

We?

You don't have any money.

So we'll do a kickstarter. How much?

Around 5,000.

I'm gonna have to sell my first-born to pay for my first-born.

♪ You bet your soul, honey ♪

♪ you bet your soul ♪
♪ just right ♪
♪ you could stay all night and never wanna go home ♪
♪ 'cause we can't stop ♪

(Door opens )

Emma: April.

If I'd known you were coming home, i would have made more food.

Can you believe it? Grandma cooked.

I thought you hated cooking.

I do. I still remember the day they invented the microwave.

Happiest day of my life.

Except for the day you were all born, and blah blah blah.

Why don't you join us? There's still some left.

Uh, I'm okay. I had something at work.

Well, sit with us for a minute.

I'd love to hear about your day.

How... how was it?

You mean my appointment with the fertility doctor?

You really wanna hear about that?

Of course.

If... you wanna tell me.

Okay.

Well, it looks like we're gonna try natural cycle in vitro.

So it'll take about 10 days.

10 days. Okay.

Or... well, you said "about 10 days."

Do you think it might be longer than that?

I don't know, mom. (Sighs )

Whatever it is, it's fine.

It's your decision. I...

Just get me the details when you know them so we can figure out when you're gonna start...

Chemo? Yes, I know.

I haven't forgotten. That's why I'm doing this.

Right after I find five-grand to pay for it.

Whoa!

I know. It sucks.

But I'll handle it since this was my decision.

I have to go change for my cancer support group.

You know, 'cause I need support.

So I was supposed to start chemo today, but I saw a fertility doctor instead.

Add that to a list of things I didn't think I'd say till I was at least 40. (Deeply sighs )

I don't even know how I'm gonna afford it.

Or if I'm even gonna live long enough to have kids.

Which is probably why my mom doesn't want me to do it, but, I mean, I have to at least try.

What am I fighting for if all the things I was looking forward to in life can't happen anymore?

Now that this is a possibility, I feel like there's some hope.

You know, like a... lifeline to my future, or something.

(Chuckles ) Who am I?

I swear I never used to say things like "lifeline to my future" before I got cancer.

(Laughter)

I used to make fun of people for saying things like "headspace," and now I catch myself saying things like "afterlife" and "my legacy."

Have you told the boyfriend yet?

No. About any of it.

But I have to. I'm going to... tomorrow.

How did you guys do it?

Were any of you in relationships when you got diagnosed?

When I told my boyfriend I had cancer, he ran away that same day.

With a stripper he found online.

Yeah, joke's on him, though. That guy had herpes.

(Laughter )

At least cancer isn't contagious.

I didn't know that he was a stripper.

I've always wanted to try that.

What?

It sounds fun.

(Laughter )

It's gonna be hard no matter how you tell him.

But you gotta do it.

You'll feel better once it's all out in the open.

That's when people show their true colors.

I mean, why do you think I'm single?

Hey.

I need to talk to you.

No, April, I will not father your child.

I'm really flattered. Thanks.

It's a work thing.

You're wasting precious time on work.

Seize the day already. Ahem.

Or in my case, seize in the middle of the day.

Ha.

A little seizure humor for you.

So I just spent all day reading about the St. Christopher's society.

They've been getting in a lot of trouble lately.

At a chapter in north Carolina, the members cyber-bullied a girl on campus until she had a total nervous breakdown.

Ah, St. Christopher's.

Your dad's one of the founding members.

And you wanna do a story on it?

Only if you're okay with it.

I mean, I know you have issues with your dad, but he's still your...

Look, Bruce has done plenty of things I find morally questionable...

And the voting public has a right to know.

So...

Can I have your blessing?

Yes, you have my blessing.

Go and write your big story.

I hope it makes it in the paper.

Thanks.

And I hope that it makes you as happy as you think it will.

Because if not, well...

Then what?

Leo: So, how you guys feeling?

He was only off by one number.

He almost picked it, actually, but at the last second, his wife said that they should pick their son's birthday...

Paul.

Would you read a story about someone almost winning the powerball?

It was for 75 mil...

I'll keep thinking.

Is this what happens when I go out of town?

Because, so far, my daughter's pony blog has harder hitting stories than this.

You're absolutely right, Lawrence.

And I will definitely have a tutorial with our writers about what passes for a story here.

Can I pitch something?

It's not for "ask Mallory," but I think it's totally newsworthy.

Now my sex columnist is pitching a story before my reporters?

The apocalypse has officially arrived.

So, I have a source at the municipal courthouse who informed me that a woman in south Hadley is being sued by her ex-boyfriend for sperm-napping.

Now I remember why I don't let sex columnists write stories.

No, seriously, it's a thing.

It's when someone steals another person's sperm to accidentally get knocked up.

I mean, planning to have a baby behind your boyfriend's back?

Who does that?

Lawrence: All right.

Sounds like it's worth exploring, Mallory.

Anyone else?

Um, I have a pitch.

It's about the St. Christopher's society.

We don't do stories about fraternities here.

St. Christopher's isn't a frat.

It's a rich kids' club. Like really rich.

To get in, they make you buy a non-refundable ticket to Tokyo and rip it up just to prove that you can.

Bruce Hendrie is one of the founding members, which is rather inconsistent with his whole "man of the people" campaign.

(Knocks table ) Run with it.

Raquel will supervise.

If we end up running the story, could be your first byline.

(School bell rings )

Hey.

Hey.

So many adventures to choose from.

Did you see the history club's going to Gettysburg?

Could they be more cliche?

I'm kind of in the middle of eco club stuff.

Okay...

I just joined eco club.

Now can we talk? It's club business.

Seriously, I'm busy.

I'm like organising our whole trip.

Okay, fine.

Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about what happened the other night.

That was totally weird.

Weird?

Yeah.

I don't know, I just feel bad.

It's fine. It's a party.

People hook up. That's what happens.

Or was there something else?

No.

So, you're about to get your first byline.

Don't jinx me. It has to get by Raquel first.

I'm not worried. You got a way of getting what you want.

I mean, you get a story from Leo Hendrie one week, the next week you take his dad down.

He must be pissed.

Actually, Leo's fine with it.

I guess he feels bad about making me look like an idiot last time.

Man, that guy pulled a total 180 for you.

Lawrence: Dominic.

Have you heard of, um...

Deaf punk?

Daft punk?

That makes even less sense.

But you know what that is?

Yeah, they're a French group.

I love them.

And how do you feel about France?

And the rest of Europe? You love that too?

Yeah. I love Europe.

I just got a call from a friend at random house who's looking for a rock journalist to go on tour with the band, and write a behind-the-scenes book.

Having published authors on our staff can really drive up our readership.

Interested?

Of course.

Great. They're meeting people immediately because...

The tour starts the day after tomorrow.

In Berlin.

Four months on the road.

Sound good?

Sounds great.

Good.

Well, looks like dreams do come true.

Oh, stop.

It's not like I have the job yet.

But you're interested, right?

I mean, you just said you were.

Well, yeah. I was on the spot.

It was kinda hard to say "no" to Lawrence.

That sounds sexual.

Who said it isn't?

This is kinda crazy timing.

Yeah.

But you'd be cool leaving Boston for four months?

Hey, nothing's happened yet, so let's not worry about it.

Okay?

Are we still on for dinner tonight?

Yeah.

April: I mean, I have a lot of my plate right now.

And she keeps trying to act like she respects my decision, but then she'll make these passive-aggressive comments.

She obviously doesn't support me.

Well, I'm sure Sara's scared.

She wants you to start chemo now.

I get that, but this is really important to me.

And it's fine if she disagrees, I just wish she would do a better job of hiding it.

You tell me that your mother's not very good at hiding anxiety?

I'm shocked.

(Chuckles softly )

We will get through this.

Thanks for saying "we."

I've been feeling like I'm all alone in this lately.

Well, you're not alone. I'm there for you.

But that's only because you're one of my patients.

You told me yourself that those are the only people I care about.

Actually, I'm not gonna be your patient for much longer.

So can I go back to not caring about you?

I'm sorry I said that.

It's okay.

You didn't know some of the things you know now about your dad.

Yeah, he put you in an impossible position.

And believe me, he wanted to do the right thing, he just didn't know what that was.

I could relate.

What, you write this on the train this morning?

What's wrong with it?

Your leading was weak, there were tons of run-on sentences and the piece didn't quite have...

How do I phrase this?

Just say it, Raquel.

It has no point.

You don't even get to the St. Christopher's info until page two.

Okay.

Well, I can fix this. Just give me some time.

This story won't make it to print unless I have it by five.

It's already four, so...

Good luck with that.

These catfights just keep getting better and better.

It's really making my workday fly by.

Not now, Danny. Please.

Oh, that's good. Keep channeling that anger.

Maybe next time you can rip some clothes off her or something.

This is the part where you're supposed to tell me how disgusting I am and then I have a really witty retort.

What's happened to us, April?

How the hell am I gonna get this done?!

I have one hour to rewrite my entire story.

Here. Take this.

It's an inspirational playlist I used to get through finals at Harvard.

"Tribal fusion"?

Just imagine you're a lion hunting a cheetah, and that cheetah is Raquel.

Cheetahs really are the sexiest animal.

(Dramatic tribal music playing )

(People chanting )

(Computer beeps )

(Computer key clacks )

(Music stops )

(Knocks on door )

I incorporated all your notes.

In an hour?

(Exhales )

Well, thanks for the opportunity.

And I read somewhere that those things actually aren't that good for your back.

I just wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.

(Chattering, phones ringing )

(Sighs ) Can you read lips?

(Scoffs ) Is there anything I can't do?

Danny: I think it's brilliant.

April: Um, but since it's my life's mission to prevent April Carver's dreams from coming true, I say let's not run her piece.

It would make her way too happy.

I think you should wear tighter skirts, Raquel.

(Clears throat )

You look nervous.

Uh, I can't even pretend that I'm not.

Just... just rip off the band-aid.

But this part's so fun.

Congratulations.

(Sharply exhales, laughs )

Oh, my God! Thank you!

(Gasps )

You okay?

Yeah, no, I am. Sorry, I'm just...

I... I wanna remember this.

You'll forget about it sooner than you think.

You have a long career ahead of you.

(Sharply exhales )

I'm gonna need this back.

It's clearly more powerful than I thought.

So, how does it feel?

You've wanted a byline for how long?

Since I was in utero.

How much do you want for this?

$5,000.

Speaking of in utero, I just figured I'd try to k*ll two birds with one stone.

I'll take 10 bucks.

Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up the eggs thing.

Back to celebrating.

It's not that.

It's Dominic. (Sighs )

I was gonna tell him tonight that I'm sick, finally, so it'll stop torturing me.

And why can't you still do that?

Because if he gets that job offer...

I don't know. I just know what a huge deal that would be for him.

I just don't want me being sick to make him feel like he...

It's his life. He can make his own decisions.

That's not fair for me to put that on him.

We haven't been dating that long.

I should at least wait until he finds out about the job.

One of the things I've always admired about you is how much you care about the people in your life and, you know, what they need...

But, dude, stop it already.

You're the one who has cancer, okay?

And all I hear you talk about is how everyone else is gonna feel about it and deal with it.

You've just gotta stop taking care of people all the time, okay?

Just figure out whatever's gonna make you feel less stressed.

Besides a refill.

I'm not used to you and mom fighting.

That's, like, supposed to be my job.

We're not fighting, Bren.

I'm just annoyed.

I feel like I made my decision and she just doesn't accept it.

But on the bright side, something awesome happened at work today.

What?

I got my first solo byline.

(Chuckles )

Oh, my God, really?!

You're like a real reporter now.

I know. It's crazy.

I can't believe it's finally happening.

(Sighs )

With everything that's been going on and fighting with mom...

Brenna: Are you gonna celebrate?

(Cellphone chimes )

I have plans with Dominic tonight.

Seriously?!

What? What happened?

They're pulling my article. I gotta go.

What's all this?

What's all what? I'm just reading.

"Outsmart your cancer."

"Surviving cancer."

They're not all cancer books.

"Steve Jobs biography."

Hey.

Why don't we go out tonight? I... I'm sure there's some great movie out there about women and... And eating and praying and loving, you know? Your favorite.

Not in the mood for that, mom. I'm fine here.

(Doorbell rings )

I'll get it.

(Door opens )

Hello, George.

George, is everything okay?

Yeah, everything's fine. Yeah, how are you?

I'm... (Sighs )

I'm fine.

Great.

So I talked to April today.

Oh.

Well, I'm sure she has plenty to say about me.

Seems like you two are not seeing eye to eye.

I'd like to help out if I could.

Well, I'd rather you actually stay out of it.

Our problems started after our appointment with you.

Well, Sara to be fair, you're the one who chose not to tell April about the risk of infertility.

I'm well aware of my mistakes, thanks.

So, George, you said you came over to help?

Yeah, that's right.

I know you've been dealing with a lot, but, um, I know a place that might help you.

Hey, Dominic, uh, I'm gonna be late.

I have to go back to the office.

There's something going on with my story.

I'll keep you posted.

(Dominic whispers ) Now.

All: Surprise!

(All cheering )

Happy byline, superstar!

(Laughs )

(Whistles )

I can't believe you guys did this.

It was all Dominic.

Yeah...

Brenna: April!

Surprise.

You knew about this too?!

Oh, you saw me almost have a heart att*ck when I got that text.

I know. I wish I could have recorded that.

You should have seen your face.

You were so mad.

(All chuckle )

Graham: Oh, great, so I missed the best part?

Awesome. Sorry, April.

Uh, you can thank the conductor of the green line, who decided to stop at Park Street for 20 minutes, even though there was nobody at the station.

And what are your feelings on kale?

It's not a real vegetable.

Wait, how do you know that I don't like kale?

Do you follow me on Twitter?

Graham: No?

(Girls laugh )

Graham: You should. I'm hilarious.

Being in a hospital right now is not exactly taking my mind off things.

Oh, hang on. Hang on a second.

"Cancer caregivers mixer"?

Yeah, that's for people who are dealing with what you're dealing with.

I don't know. George, this...

Listen, it... It's worth a try, right?

If you hate it, you can always leave.

(Pop music playing )

To the first of many bylines.

Thank you.

But wait, you asked me out before I got my byline.

What were you gonna do if I didn't get it?

Massages and Chuck E. Cheese's.

Ohh, well, now I almost wish I didn't get it.

You'll still get the massage.

(Softly chuckles )

Uh, why is Leo here?

Oh, I invited him. Found him on Facebook.

Did you know his profile picture is Susan Sarandon in "Stepmom"?

Ha, of course it is.

He's a cool guy. Letting you break that story, and requesting you for that interview the other day.

Yeah.

Hey hey hey!

Hey, Dom.

Thank you for coming.

Thank for inviting me.

I'll put this out.

Okeydoke.

Congratulations, April!

Oh, hey, why are you so clenched, huh?

Um, you know, it's kind of awkward having you two here together, you know, after...

What?

You trying to kiss me the other day.

Oh, that.

(Chuckles ) Whatever.

I tried to kiss like 10 girls since then.

Seriously, relax. I'm not here to sabotage you or... or tell everyone your big secret, okay?

I'm just here to party.

Hey, there.

Hey.

Where do you guys keep the ice?

I don't know. I don't work here.

Has anyone ever told you that you look like a '70s rock star?

Um...

Dude, get off her.

She's 16.

(Exhales ) Oh.

Uh... mm...

That... I...

What?! No. I didn't do anything.

You didn't have to. Just 'cause you're wearing glasses doesn't mean I can't see your eyes.

Well, just 'cause you have an accent doesn't mean you're more interesting.

Dominic: Yeah, I know it'd be great, but is it okay if I just take a minute to think about it?

Yeah, I mean, this all happened so fast.

Okay, great.

Okay, I'll talk to you soon.

Okay, bye.

Can't tell if that was good news or bad news.

Not that I was eavesdropping.

Okay, I can't lie to that face.

I kinda was.

It's a job offer to go on tour with a band.

For four months.

I have to decide if I'm even taking it.

Why wouldn't you?

(Snaps fingers ) Because of April?

Yeah, I gotta figure it out.

Just do me a favor and don't mention it to her.

I don't want her worrying about anything.

It's her night.

Do you, um...

Ah, do you want some white wine?

Yeah, thanks.

Okay.

Hi, I'm Sara Carver.

My daughter was just diagnosed with A.M.L.

She's only 24 years old.

It's just so hard trying to figure out how to take care of her while I'm dealing with my own grief, you know?

Have you had anything like that happen to you?

Yeah.

(Pop music playing )

Okay, never have I ever been arrested.

Hmm. (Clears throat )

Mm.

Story.

Caught with pot going through airport security.

Caught having sex at a carnival.

Danny: Oh-ho-ho!

Tell me he was wearing a clown suit.

(All chuckle )

Okay, never have I ever...

Hmm.

Oh! Faked an orgasm.

Never.

Uh, how do you even do that?

Uh, well, if the lights are out and the girl never sees...

Stop! Just stop.

We have a minor here, as you know.

(Laughter )

Danny: Okay okay, my turn.

Never have I ever...

Been attracted to someone of the same sex.

Whoa, Brenna.

I knew it!

What do you mean you knew it?

Do you wanna tell her or should I?

Guys, shut up.

This girl from her school. I met her, she's adorable.

What about Kieran?

It's possible to like two people at the same time.

What's the big deal?

Brenna: Okay, now it's my turn.

Never have I ever...

Been attracted to anyone in this room.

Hey, I'm taking off.

Really?

Yeah, you know, I just wanted to come by and pay my respects to the guest of honor...

So, you know, consider yourself respected.

Thanks.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm having a...

Little moral dilemma.

I'm sorry, did you just use the word "moral" in reference to yourself?

You're right. Maybe I shouldn't tell you what I just found out about Dominic.

What?

He got that job.

But he might not take it because of you.

He told you that?

Yeah, you can say we're having kind of a bromance these days.

He did ask me not to tell you, but you know my policy... Freedom of information.

I don't really believe in hiding things from people.

Congrats again.

Okay, never have I ever...

Slept with my second cousin.

Oopsie Daisy.

Graham: Boom! Yeah!

Okay, Graham. No, we have to stop doing this to her.

Oh, no, but she's the MVP of this game.

(Groans ) I mean, who am I kidding?

This is why I never play "I never."

Did that make sense?

I'm...

I'm gonna go get paper towels.

This... this way.

Graham: Yeah, okay...

Never have I ever...

Got into every college I applied to.

Oh.

Hey-oh!

Hey.

Can I talk to you?

Sure.

You guys! Lawrence is here.

He's here.

Uh!

You're all fired.

Effective immediately.

So...

You may as well come out.

Lawrence.

I was not here for this party.

Um, I actually was here working late anyways doing research.

No, you weren't.

April: Lawrence, we're sorry.

This was, um, a party for my byline.

Aw, come on.

I'm not a complete tyrant.

As long as everything is out of here by the time I walk in at 6:00 A.M. tomorrow morning.

It will be.

And if I find out anyone so much has touched my desk, remember...

Y'all had to get fingerprinted when you started working here.

April.

Can I talk to you a sec?

Now that I know you can deliver, I'm gonna be leaning on you a bit more.

I'm thinking we can go ahead and... eliminate Raquel as the middle man.

You don't need a babysitter anymore.

I'm so glad you trust me that much.

But there's just one thing I need to give you a heads-up about.

I'm gonna need to take some time off soon.

It's one byline, April.

Is this what they mean when they say the millennial generation is entitled?

No, it's...

A medical thing.

Oh.

Okay, just let me know how much time you need.

I will.

Have a nice night.

(Elevator dings )

(Exhales )

(People chattering )

I have to admit, I'm surprised.

These caregivers don't seem very caring.

Oh, you know what? There's Brian Connors.

Yeah, he's a nice guy. Let me introduce you to him.

Dr. Carver, what are you doing here?

This is my sister-in-law Sara.

Hi.

We just found out that her daughter has leukemia.

I'm sorry.

Thank you. Yeah. It's been really hard.

Like right now, she and I are in this power struggle over when she's gonna start her chemo and...

Yeah, that sounds hard.

Maybe you should talk to a therapist about it.

Well, I... I am a therapist.

Well, there you go.

I'm sorry. Brian, I'm confused.

I thought the point of this event was that caregivers could find support from each other.

Look, I've been dealing with my son having cancer for almost 10 years now, and most of the people that come here every week, it's because it's the one place we can chat, get a little Pinot buzz and not talk about cancer.

(Quietly ) Okay.

(Quietly ) So.

It's all right.

Sara, I'm sorry. I didn't know.

It's fine. I appreciate the effort, really.

Well, I just wanted to help.

But can you cure cancer?!

Seriously, can you go back in time and change major life events?

Can you explain to me why April?!

Is it something I did or something I could have, I don't know, prevented in some way?

Can you... can you... (Sighs )

Put some of the blame on me?

So I can make some damn sense out of all this?!

I sit all day long, and I... I listen to people talk about the worst parts of their lives.

And I help them make sense out of it all.

But I cannot seem to do that for myself.

And I'm mad. I'm... I'm...

I'm mad at the world.

I'm mad at April. I'm mad at you!

I'm... I'm just...

I'm mad!

(Exhales )

So how'd that feel?

(Groans loudly ) It felt great!

It felt really...

(Sighs deeply )

Great, yes.

(Sighs )

Let's go.

(People chattering )

(Door opens )

There you are.

Hey.

Sorry, I was just taking a little break from the game.

Yeah, it started to make me feel pretty lame.

I realized how much I hadn't done until tonight.

So I've been thinking about that job.

Yeah, me too.

I just wanted to ask you...

I think you should take it.

I mean, if you get it.

You'd really be cool with me leaving for that long?

It's a great opportunity, Dominic.

And I know how much you want it.

Yeah, but, you know...

There's other things that I want here.

In Boston.

I know, but that's a lot of pressure to put on our relationship.

I mean, if anything ever went wrong, we would just...

You think that might happen?

I don't know, I'm just trying to be realistic.

Hey, can I talk to you?

What's wrong?

Is Graham still hitting on you?

Just tell him you eat red meat and he'll leave you alone.

Come here.

Who is this?

(Exhales )

Just tell me. Who is she?

I didn't wanna tell you like this, but...

That girl is our half-sister.

Her name is Natalie Ortiz.

What?

Does this mean that dad...

Yeah, I guess he had an affair a long time ago.

So, was his whole marriage to mom a lie?

I don't think so. I don't know.

I... I'm... I'm so sorry you found out like this.

I was gonna tell you, but with everything that's been happening, it was just never the right time.

Oh, my God. Dad.

I don't want this to make you hate him.

That was my first reaction too.

But we have no idea how he felt about that woman or mom.

And you said it yourself, maybe it's possible to like 2 people. and who knows, maybe he was planning on telling us the truth at some point, and then he...

You know, was gone before he got the chance.

If there's one thing I've learned since getting sick, it's that being honest is much harder than it seems.

Especially if you're afraid you'll hurt someone you really care about.

Let me help.

I took the job.

Congratulations.

It's huge. Are you excited?

Yeah, yeah.

But it's not like getting your first byline.

Are you excited?

Totally.

Ahem. Hey, I have one more "I never" for you.

Oh, yeah? Let's hear it.

What are you doing here?

You haven't been answering my texts, and I wanted to talk about what happened.

We did. You apologized.

It's fine.

I know, but I...

Didn't say everything that I wanted to say.

When you caught me with Kieran in your room, I felt really bad.

Like worse than I've ever felt about a guy.

I don't know what that means.

All I know is I can't deal with you hating me.

(Sighs ) Brenna.

I don't hate you.

Look.

It's just hard when you're into girls and you have no idea if they're into girls.

But you hurt my feelings because...

I don't know.

I felt like we had a thing.

I did too.

"Did."

Past tense.

No.

Present tense.

♪ Somewhere ♪
♪ over the mountain ♪
♪ under the great sky ♪
♪ I'll be all right ♪

♪ someday I'll find... ♪

Gotta admit...

When you told me you had one last "I never" that you wanted to try with me, this isn't exactly what I thought you had in mind.

I had some other ideas.

I just wanted to make sure you remembered me with some respect.

♪ Until then... ♪

So, what's the plan for us while I'm gone?

It's four months.

You're gonna be all over the place, different time zones, meeting people.

I want you to just enjoy that.

And not have to worry about me.

Or anything.

You deserve it.

But what do you want?

I don't know.

I have a lot of stuff to figure out right now, and I think it's probably better that I do that on my own.

So you wanna take a break?

I just don't want us to start resenting each other, you know?

(Sighs )

Can we wait another hour to start the break?

Yeah.

One more hour.

♪ Someday I'll find... ♪ ♪ find ♪

♪ the right words ♪
♪ and I'll bloom ♪
♪ where I was planted long ago ♪
♪ I'll sing the song ♪
♪ that sounds like somewhere. ♪

Beth, I can see you.

Okay, so, uh, the thing is...

We kept playing the drinking game after you guys left...

Who wants pancakes, huh?

(Chuckles )

Oh.

It's all happening.

(Inhales deeply )

Hi, this is April.

Receptionist: This is Dr. Kang's office calling to schedule your next appointment.

Yes. Thank you.

And while I have you, I was wondering if I could arrange a payment plan.

Okay.

Let me see.

Oh, looks like you're all set.

I'm sorry?

Your payment was already processed.

But I haven't paid yet.

Well, someone else did.

They asked to remain anonymous.

I guess it's your lucky day.