02x03 - Chuck Versus the Break-Up

Complete collection of Chuck episode transcripts. Aired: September 2007 to January 2012.*

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When a twenty-something computer geek inadvertently downloads critical government secrets into his brain, CIA and NSA assign two agents to protect him and exploit such knowledge, turning his life upside down.
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02x03 - Chuck Versus the Break-Up

Post by bunniefuu »

Bryce: Are we clear?

Sarah: Yeah.

Let's go.

Bryce: Let's move.

Hey!

Bryce: Here, take the case.

Colombian; Mr. Anderson.

Bryce: No need to sh**t, okay?

You got it, sweetheart?

Sarah: Yeah.

Yeah, I got it.

Bryce: Well... give it to him.

Nice sh*t, Mrs. Anderson.

Sarah: Why, thank you, Mr. Anderson.

Chuck.

Hi.

Um...

Bryce: Hello, Chuck.

Miss me?

Ellie: Hey.

That was a fast date.

Is everything okay with you and Sarah?

Chuck: Everything, except her ex is in town.

This dude has a really nasty habit of popping into my life at the most inopportune of times.

Awesome: Stalker ex.

Not awesome.

Ellie: Does he know that you and Sarah are dating?

Chuck: Yeah.

I just think he's taking the whole "we can still be friend" thing to heart.

Awesome: Don't sweat it, Chuck.

This guy can't hold a candle to you.

Ellie; And what does he have that's so great?

Chuck: Uh, that would be good looks, sophistication, an exciting career, and much more history with Sarah.

Ellie: You know what?

I'm sure that Sarah will take care of it.

This guy will be out of your life in no time.

Chuck: Something tells me, it won't be quite that simple.

Ellie: Do you want to talk?

Watch something else?

Chuck: No.

No, I'm good.

I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna hang.

I'm fine.

I'm gonna be fine.

So, I'm just gonna sit here alone, not technically, but, you know, emotionally.

Morgan; Okay, look at this.

This is what I'm talking about.

I'm worried about Lester as the new assistant manager.

Chuck: Why, is he making you work?

Morgan: Please, Chuck, I have mad-work avoidance skills.

Morgan: True... true.

No, he's drunk with power, man.

I once read that Mussolini started in retail.

Chuck: Really?

Morgan: Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Chuck; It could be worse.

It could be Casey.

Casey: Lunch break: Orange Orange.

Chuck; Yogurt again?

Can't we have a meatball sub?

Casey: We're not eating, idiot.

We got a new mission.

Chuck; Does it have anything to do with Bryce-- why he's in town?

Casey: I don't know.

If I know Larkin, he's probably here for a roll in the hay with Walker.

Get down!

Kick it, baby!

Lester: Look at them.

Visiting from their Mighty Jocks sporting goods store with their cola and tacos.

They can't treat my store like a frat house.

Grimes...

Grimes.

Come here.

Come here.

Get in there and kick those ruffians out.

Morgan: That's Mitt and his merry band of maniacs.

Not only are the giants, they are psychopaths.

Lester: Look, I'm sorry, Morgan.

Management means making tough decisions.

Now go in there and kick them out!

I got it!

I got him!

He's got him.

Morgan: You guys having a good time?

Good, good.

Sorry...

Can I get a second, please?

Mitt: One second, man.

I'm in the middle of a play.

Morgan: Right.

Well, um...

Okay.

Well, obviously, you haven't heard.

Mitt; Heard what?

Morgan: We have some new rules here at the Buy More.

Basically, uh, we just, uh-uh... are requiring customers to clean up after themselves and allowing others to enjoy the various video game consoles-- specifically, the Madden football, you know.

And-and if it's possible, if we could all just, kind of, as group here-- myself included, okay?

use our indoor voices, as my mother used to say.

Mitt: We're so sorry.

We didn't mean to offend anybody.

We didn't know you had new rules.

I'm going to clean up my lunch.

Morgan; Thank you so much, man.

I was nervous about asking you.

Oh, you're just gonna...

Mitt: There you go, buddy.

We're all cleaned up.

And, dude... if you ever interrupt another one of my games, gonna be your face that gets smushed.

You understand that?

Morgan: Per-perfect.

All right, buddy.

Mitt; Thanks.

Chuck: Any idea what Bryce is doing in town?

He's not staying with you, is he?

Sarah: Not now, Chuck.

Beckman: Is there something you would like to share with the rest of the class, Mr. Bartowski?

Chuck: No, sorry, General.

Zipping it up.

Beckman: The Fulcrum thr*at is far worse than it originally appeared.

We've learned one of their agents stole an encrypted microchip containing top secret information out of the DNI.

The information on the chip contained highly classified intelligence-- a refresh for the new Intersect.

Sarah: Is there anything on that chip that could compromise our cover?

Beckman: Unfortunately, yes.

Agent Larkin has learned that Fulcrum hired Von Hayes, a wealthy software magnet, to decrypt the chip and deliver the encoded information back to them.

Mr. Hayes is throwing a lavish party at his Bel Air estate this evening.

The finest dining, music and food.

Your job will be to pose as a married couple and steal back the chip.

Chuck: See?

This is what I'm talking about, General.

Finally a mission I can sink my teeth into.

Dust off the tux, polish up the dancing shoes...

Beckman: No, Chuck.

This mission is going to require a real spy.

Bryce: Sorry I'm late.

L.A. traffic's still the worst.

Beckman: Bryce will be posing as Sarah's husband.

Chuck, you'll be posing as a waiter.

Try and flash on and identify the Fulcrum agent.

Bryce: Well, Mrs. Anderson.

Chuck S02 E03

Chuck: Hey, Casey.

Um, so what's the deal with the... with the mission tonight?

Sarah said you were working on the plan?

Casey: Yeah, yeah, we're making it airtight so even you can't screw it up.

Chuck: Thanks for the vote of confidence.

So what's the scoop with the... you know, the Andersons?

Casey: Why, you worried Bryce is going to steal your girl?

Chuck: Okay, you know what?

First of all, Sarah and I are purely professional, so I resent any accusation otherwise.

And second of all, I can't take an interest in my coworker's mission?

I mean, I figure if I'm going to be stuck being a spy for a while now, I think, you know, I want to learn a little lesson from... the master.

Casey: Hmm.

All right, the microchip is stored inside a vault in Von Hayes' mansion.

All Bryce and Sarah need to do, is slip out of the main ballroom and grab it.

Chuck: Well, aren't people going to be asking questions if they see them snooping around the house?

Casey: Bryce and Sarah will be very affectionate.

That way, no one will ask them any questions when they're looking for the vault.

That's the beauty of PDA.

Bryce: The company really knows how to put you into a cute outfit.

Sarah: We're not undercover yet, Bryce.

Bryce: Well, you can't be too careful.

You never know who's watching, Mrs. Anderson.

Sarah; Yeah, uh... about the Andersons, I really think that we should keep it strictly a cover this time.

Okay.

Bryce: Everything all right?

Sarah: Yeah, it's just with Fulcrum getting closer and closer, we should be... focused.

You know, no distractions.

Bryce: You're right.

Yeah... no distractions.

I have to admit, though, it sure was fun while it lasted.

Chuck: I've always found that lunch travels better in a bag, but maybe that's just me.

Morgan: Yeah.

Well...

Lester made me kick the Mighty Jocks out of the home theater so Mitt burritoed me.

Chuck: Buddy, what have I told you about direct confrontation with the Mighty Jocks-- Mitt specifically?

Morgan: Run with my tail between my legs and go get John Casey.

I know.

Man, you ever have someone show up in your life and just make you feel so damn small?

Chuck: Yeah, that...

Buddy, there's always going to be someone that's cooler or better-looking or more athletic than us.

But there's one thing we have that they don't.

Morgan: I got a beard.

Chuck: Brains.

Brains!

And if we use our brains, then we're going to be okay.

Morgan: You're right, dude, I know.

Chuck: All right, good talk.

Uh...

There you go.

Shmutz.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, I was just on my way home.

I got this thing to do with Sarah.

What's, what's going on?

Ellie: Uh, well, I went by the Orange Orange to ask Sarah to be a bridesmaid...

Chuck; That is so sweet, Ellie.

Ellie: Yeah.

Um...

Chuck, when I got there, I saw her holding hands with another guy.

I think it might be her ex.

Chuck: Really?

Uh, did you, did you get a good look at him?

Ellie: Well, I couldn't, 'cause he was faced the other way, but, uh, dark hair, sort of classically handsome...

Chuck: I don't know if I'd...

I'd call him classically handsome.

Maybe from like a weird angle or from really far away, maybe that...

They were holding hands, huh?

Ellie: Yeah.

I'm really sorry, Chuck.

Chuck: Don't be...

Don't be, Elle, why?

Why be sorry?

No, it's all good.

She was probably just letting him down easy.

Trust me, things have never been better between us.

Kick his butt!

Lester: Grimes, I thought I told you to toss those meatheads.

Morgan: I tried, dude.

What do you want me to do?

Maybe they'll respond to somebody who's in a position of authority.

Anna: Don't you think you should lead by example, Lester?

Lester: Slovenly buffoons!

Morgan:Okay, all right, listen to me.

What about a plan that doesn't require... direct confrontation?

Lester: Talk to me.

Mitt: Pippin, he's Pippin.

Last play of the game!

This is the last play!

Come on, you better do this.

Oh, oh, what a pass!

I'm takin' it to the house!

Ten seconds.

Nine...

Yes! eight... seven... six... five... four... three... two...

What the hell?

That was a game-winning drive!

A game-winning drive!

And now what does it look like?

Morgan: You know, kind of hard to tell a little bit by the glare.

Mitt: Super Bowl-winning drive!

Franchise mode!

All-Madden!

Morgan; I can tell you're upset.

Mitt: You could have asked us to leave nicely.

Morgan: I didn't even want to kick you guys out.

I'm just an employee.

My boss made me do it.

Mitt: Who's your boss?

Morgan: Oh, come on...

Mitt: Who?

Morgan: The guy over there, real skinny.

After work... gonna kick both your asses.

Thank you.

Have a nice night.

You, too.

Bryce: What, no rose for me this time, lover boy?

Chuck; Cute.

We're just protecting our cover.

Bryce; Sales up at the Buy More?

Chuck: Yeah, as a matter of fact.

Buy More, Buy More is good.

We just got a new MacBook SMC firmware update.

So, you know, things are a little nutty.

Bryce: Mmm.

I can imagine.

Chuck: That's...

So, uh, staying with Sarah, huh?

Bryce: Protecting our cover.

How are things between you guys?

Chuck: They're good.

Good, good, good.

Solid.

Why did she say something?

Bryce: No.

It's just she's a beautiful girl pretending to be your girlfriend.

I was afraid you'd let the lines get blurred and fall for her.

Chuck:What?

Me, fall for Sarah?

Please.

Sarah: Hey, guys.

Chuck: Hey.

Sarah: So, how do I look?

Chuck: Good!

Yeah, yeah, real good.

Red's not really my color, so...

I forgot...

Or salmon or whatever that is.

Von HAYES: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome!

As you all know, today is yours truly's birthday.

Thank you.

No, no, no, no.

Um, I have a lot to be thankful for.

I'm rich, handsome, an extraordinarily gifted lover-- but, most importantly, I know how to throw one hell of party; so let's get it on, people!

Cheers!

Casey: Hey, Bartowski, Von Hayes is at table eight.

Grab a bottle of wine, see if you flash on him.

Chuck: Pardon me, excuse me.

Bryce: Any security behind you?

Sarah: No.

Bryce: You're still a great dancer.

Sarah: You're a little rusty.

Chuck: Yes, sir, of course.

Fantastic.

Bryce: Will you just let me lead?

Sarah: No.

Casey: Hey, quit screwing around, Bartowski.

And get close to Von Hayes.

Oh!

Chuck: Whoa, hey!

Von HAYES: What the hell are you doing?

Chuck: Oh!

I'm so-- I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

Von HAYES: No, no, stop!

Stop!

Stop!

Chuck: Okay, you know, I'll go-- I'll get fresh bottle-- I'm so sorry, sir.

Von HAYES: You do that.

Good help is so hard to find these days.

Chuck: Casey, I didn't flash on anything.

Casey; Keep looking, get your head in the game.

Sarah: The camera's on the east and west walls, cross for about two seconds.

Waiter: Lambada!

Chuck: The forbidden dance.

Bryce: That's the blind spot.

Waiter: Get a room.

Right?

Chuck: Oh!

Oh!

Von HAYES: Are you on dr*gs?

Chuck: No!

Von HAYES: That was a thousand dollar bottle of Lafite Rothschild.

Chuck: I'm so very sorry, sir.

Von HAYES: You're very sorry, sir?

Were you dropped as a child from very great height?

Chuck: I-I actually, I couldn't confirm or deny that.

Sir, is everything all right?

Von HAYES: Congratulations.

You have succeeded in hiring possible the worst waiter in history!

You heard the man, Jorge.

You're fired.

I'll call security to take you out.

Chuck; No, no, no, no, no!

No, I need this job!

Please don't fire me.

Have some compassion, some mercy!

Agent: Hello, Mr. Hayes, do you have my microchip?

Von HAYES: Hello.

Agent; Well, my... bosses don't like to wait.

Perhaps... we could talk in private.

Let's go!

Chuck: Hey, ho, wait, no, no.

Well, just let me finish my shift.

Casey; Bartowski!

Jeff: Shift's over.

Time to meet your maker.

Lester: I'm too young, upwardly mobile, and handsome to die.

Jeff: Don't worry, Morgan, I'll take care of Anna when you're gone.

Anna: I'd rather be drawn and quartered.

Let's go, Morgan.

Lester: We can't go.

Mitt is going to k*ll us, dude!

Morgan: Hey, unhand me, now.

All right, let's get it together here.

Lester: What?

Morgan: All right, I'm not scared of Mitt.

Lester: You are crazy, man.

I am not going anywhere.

Morgan: That's why I get the girl.

Jeff: Dead... man walkin'.

Morgan: Oh, you know what?

Holy smokes, I just remembered!

Big Mike wanted me to finish this inventory by tomorrow morning.

Anna: Morgan, you can't let a bully like Mitt push you around.

This isn't high school.

Morgan: No, it's worse.

This is Buy More.

It's all right.

It's all right.

Casey: Moron.

Bryce and Sarah are at the vault; come back to the van.

Chuck: No.

Casey: I flashed on a FULCRUM agent but I didn't see her face.

Wait, wait, wait-- we need to know she looks like.

Go back inside and get me a real I.D.

Chuck: I'm locked out.

Casey: Yeah, well, since I'm not a complete idiot, like a certain someone, by which I mean you, I tapped into the security system.

Try it now.

Chuck: Pretty impressive, Casey.

Casey: All right, just get in there and find the FULCRUM agent.

You got five minutes.

Go!

Is that Jorge?

Agent; You promised us the decrypted chip two weeks ago and instead you're throwing a party.

Von HAYES: Well, what's the point of being rich if you can't have a little fun?

Agent; You have decrypted the information on the chip?

Von HAYES: Yes, yes, it's all finished.

The, um, question is where's my fee?

Agent: Forget the 15 million.

Von HAYES: Oh, my God!

Agent; I think I'll just take my chip.

Von HAYES: It's in my vault.

Um... I'll take you r... I'll take you right there.

Chuck: Oh, Casey, Casey.

The microchip is not in the vault.

It is on Von Hayes' keychain.

And I also got a really good look at the FULCRUM agent.

Casey: What'd she look like?

Chuck; Oh, my gosh, dude, so awful.

I mean incredibly creepy.

Think...

Think psycho elfin queen.

Agent: Did you say FULCRUM?
Casey: Sarah!

Sarah: Talk to me, Casey.

What's going on?

Casey: Von Hayes is on the move.

Sarah: Where?

Casey; He's headed for the front.

He's got the chip.

Bryce: Freeze!

Federal agents.

Casey: Hey, FULCRUM agent has Chuck.

She's leaving out the back door.

Bryce: Sarah, what are you doing?

Sarah: Chuck's in danger.

That FULCRUM agent will k*ll him if we don't get...

Bryce: No-- our covers are on that microchip.

If we don't get it, all of us get k*lled.

Sarah!

Casey: Bartowski and the CIA-- how could it not go wrong?

Chuck; You gotta believe me!

You gotta believe me!

The whole creepy elfin thing was a compliment, I swear!

Ever since my 6th grade librarian introduced me to TheHobbit, I been hooked on 'em.

I don't know if it's the eyes or the ears...

Agent: Shut up, Jorge!

Sarah: Chuck, duck and cover!

Chuck: Go!

Go!

Chuck!

You okay?

Chuck.

Chuck: Hey.

I'm, uh... yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sarah: Run!

Oh, my...

Chuck: Hi.

Hey.

Chuck: I, uh, brought you some gardenias.

Sarah: They're my favorite.

How did you know?

Chuck: Well, I'm not an entirely incompetent spy, you know?

Sarah: Thank you.

And you can put them over there.

Chuck: Bryce Larkin, huh?

I guess, no matter what it is, I'll always come in second to that guy.

Sarah: Not always.

Chuck: Ellie said you had a concussion?

Sarah: Oh, it's just a minor concussion, I'm fine.

It's my ego that's hurt more than anything.

Ellie: I don't believe it.

Awesome: What's up, babe?

Ellie: That is Sarah's ex.

That guy just won't back off.

You know what, Chuck might be too nice to say anything, but I am not.

Awesome: Whoa, whoa, hold on, babe.

Let me handle this.

Chuck: I'm sorry-- it's my fault.

If I didn't get fired, this never would've happened.

Sarah: Hey, don't apologize, okay?

It is not your job to protect me.

Chuck: Well... all things being considered, that's probably a good thing.

Sarah: Yeah, you have a lot of good qualities, but, uh, I'm not sure "bodyguard" is one of them.

Awesome: Hey, bro!

Hey.

Whoa!

That cut looks infected.

Yeah, I better take a look at that-- come on.

Sorry, bro, but you got a lot of dirt in there.

Bryce: Ow.

Awesome: So... how do you know Sarah?

Bryce: She's my ex.

Based on all the flowers you sent, I'd say you still had feelings for her.

Bryce: It's complicated.

Awesome: I know.

She's dating my soon-to-be brother-in-law, Chuck.

Bryce: I didn't know.

Sarah said she wanted to tell me something, but then she got hurt.

Bryce: Ouch.

Cut's pretty deep there.

Bryce: So, um, Chuck and Sarah... is it serious?

Awesome: I'm specializing in cardiothoracic medicine.

That means there's one thing in the world I know best: the human heart.

I've spent enough time with them to see how they are together, see how she looks at him.

My professional opinion?

She's in love with Chuck, dude.

Anna: You look terrible.

Did you guys actually sleep at the Buy More last night, so you could avoid Mitt?

Morgan; What? No.

Lester: Of course not.

Please, I'm not afraid of that miscreant.

Morgan: And if he were here, we'd tell him.

Lester: Jeff, put that away.

Jeff: No way!

This is like Faces of Death all over again-- I'm gonna make a fortune.

Morgan: No, no.

You want to do this?

Lester: Let's do this.

Morgan: Let's do this.

Yes.

Mitt: You guys didn't show up last night.

I felt like a girl that got stood up on prom night.

What's wrong?

Don't you want to dance with me, bearded little man?

Morgan: Um...

Hey, do you think that maybe we could work this out together?

You know, man to man kind of thing?

Mitt: We can use some new PSPs.

Morgan; We?

Mitt: We.

Morgan: All right, uh, you know, I... yes, I'll just have to take two weeks' advance pay, but yeah, fine.

Mitt: Okay, you got a deal.

Morgan: That's right!

And don't ever come back!

Anna: Wow, how'd you do that?

Morgan: You just gotta learn to speak their language.

You bully a bully.

Yeah.

Bryce: Chuck.

Chuck: You... wow.

You really ought to think about toning down the entrances a notch.

Bryce: Sorry, comes with the job.

Chuck; Uh, look, I've...

I've already had a pretty long day, and I gotta get to work, so if you have any life-changing bombs that you'd like to drop on me, could you please save them for later?

Bryce: I'm worried about Sarah.

Chuck: There's nothing to be worried about.

She got a minor concussion and a few bruises-- she'll be fine.

Bryce: No, that's not what I'm worried about.

She went off mission.

And not only did we lose the microchip and the FULCRUM agent, the two of you almost got k*lled.

Chuck: Okay, she went off mission to protect me, which by the way, is her job and wins her points in my book.

Bryce: Sarah has feelings for you, Chuck.

Feelings that will get her k*lled.

People we deal with are cold-blooded assassins.

They have no emotions, no feelings.

The only chance we have against FULCRUM is to think and act like they do.

Anything less gets us k*lled.

Chuck: Sarah knows what she's doing, Bryce.

Sarah Walker's room.

Nurse: Oh, room 808.

Awesome: Chuck.

Just the guy I was looking for.

These are for you.

Chuck: Wow, Devon.

Thanks, I've never received flowers from another man before, but I suppose there's a first time for everything.

They're not from me, Chuck.

Chuck: That's a relief.

They're from Sarah's ex.

Chuck: I intercepted them before they got to her room.

This guy won't take no for an answer

Chuck: Indeed.

Thanks for looking out.

Awesome: Hey, that's what bros are for.

Chuck: Right.

Bryce.

Von HAYES: Hello?

Yeah, you know what, Bryce, I almost bought your little speech, but...

Who's Bryce?

Chuck: Von Hayes...

Von Hayes, we've been looking for you.

Who is this?

Chuck: Chor...

Jorge.

Jorge Carmichael.

Uh, who?

Chuck: The waiter, the waiter who, uh, who dropped that bottle of Lafite Rothschild.

Von HAYES: How did you get my number?

I-I sent the flowers to that female agent.

Chuck: Yeah, yeah, well, uh, you know, I'm her supervisor, and your little case has made its way up the food chain, so you're gonna be dealing with me now.

If you want to stay alive, you need to tell me where that microchip is.

Don't worry.

I have it, it's safe, just...

Von HAYES: Just don't let those people catch me, okay?

Just get me the hell out of here, Jorge.

I'm-I'm-I'm living in a Lamborghini.

You-you can't imagine how little legroom there is.

Chuck: All right, I know you're pissed off that I screwed up your perfect plans, but I have some good news.

I found the microchip.

How?

Chuck: Doesn't matter how.

The point is I did it.

What exactly did you do, Bartowski?

Chuck: I negotiated the return of said microchip.

Of course, I did have to agree to certain terms.

What terms?

Chuck: Well, one, he'll only make the exchange with me.

Uh, two, he wants full immunity from any government prosecution.

I can live with that.

Chuck: There's one... there... well, just...

Sorry, there is kind of just one more little bitty thing.

Casey: What?

We're gonna need roughly $4. 5 million in unmarked bills, preferably small denominations.

Sarah: Oh, how am I doing?

Great.

Sarah: Looks like we'll release you in a few hours.

Oh, great.

Hans: Don't worry.

This won't hurt a bit.

Sarah: Well, unfortunately, I can't promise the same.

What?

Sarah: I don't like FULCRUM, so I'm only gonna ask once.

Where's your boss?

Casey; Okay, here he is, Chuck.

You're on.

Von HAYES: Have you got the cash?

Chuck; Yeah, I have...

I have... it's in... it's right here in the bag.

Do you have the microchip?

Von HAYES: All right, give me the cash.

Chuck: You first.

Von HAYES ; No, you first.

Chuck: I'm pretty positive you go first.

Casey; Just make the exchange, moron.

Von HAYES: I've never done a handoff before.

I'm really not used to this spy stuff.

Chuck: It's a little stressful, isn't it?

Von HAYES; Yeah.

Chuck: Yeah.

Okay, I got an idea.

Von HAYES: Oh, yeah?

Chuck: Yeah, we count the same time.

I'm gonna count to three.

Von HAYES: You're gonna count to three?

Chuck: Or if you want... to count to three?

Von HAYES: No, no, it's too much pressure.

You count to three, I'll...

Chuck: So, I'm gonna count to three.

Von HAYES: On three or after three?

Chuck: What do you want?

Von HAYES: We'll do after three, so it's like one, two, three, change.

Both: Okay, here we go: one... two...

Casey: Trouble, Chuck.

Make the exchange.

Von HAYES: You told me I could trust you.

Chuck; No.

No, no, no, wait!

Wait!

No!

Casey: I can never get a break.

You stay here this time.

Chuck: Hey... Where're you...

Don't you need this?

Thug; Give us the chip, Mr. Hayes.

Casey: Don't move!

Drop your weapons!

Thug: Sorry, fellas.

Someone's paid us a lot of money to take that chip.

Chuck: Hold on.

Wait!

Don't do anything.

No sh**ting.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

May I have your attention, please?

Um...

In my hands...

I'm holding $4. 5 million in unmarked bills.

Now, I'm not sure what the current going rate for thug-for-hire work is, but I'm feeling pretty confident that it's a lot less than this.

Now, all I ask is that you let Von Hayes and my two friends here go, and the money's all yours.

Or you can die horrible deaths in a hail of g*nf*re.

The choice is yours, really.

Von HAYES: That was amazing!

Thank you, Jorge.

Chuck: No, don't mention it.

All right.

Casey: No, no, no-- don't encourage him.

Chuck; You know, a little appreciation wouldn't k*ll you.

I mean, I did get the microchip back.

Casey: You also gave away $4. 5 million in taxpayer money.

Chuck; Nobody's perfect.

Where are you going?

Casey: To get it back, idiot.

Chuck: You know, I don't need Casey to tell me I'm a good spy.

I mean I think I'm doing fine.

The fact of the matter is I mean, it's really not as hard as it's cracked up to be anyway.

Okay, let's try this one more time.

The microchip.

The microchip, now.

Bryce: Release the kid first.

Chuck: "Kid"?

Honestly, we're born in the same year.

Agent: Give me the chip and I'll let him go.

Promise.

The Chip?

Bryce: There.

Now release him.

Agent: Sorry.

Bryce: Got it?

Sarah: Yeah, I got it.

Bryce; Take it.

Take the sh*t, Sarah!

Sarah, take the sh*t!

Take it!

Chuck: Oh!

Casey: Well, you want something done right... you do it yourself.

Anna: Morgan, you said you got rid of them.

Jeff: End him, Morgan.

Lester: My friend, please.

Please fix this.

Mitt: You're gonna buy me...

Morgan; Uh, Mr. Mitt, sir.

Hey, uh, we had an understanding before.

Mitt: We did, before.

Now we need a PlayStation 3.

Morgan: I'm broke, man.

Mitt; Well, if that's the case, scram, you little loser.

Anna: You can't talk to him like that.

Mitt: Piss off, Yoko.

Anna; You can't talk to me like that.

Right, Morgan?

Mitt: I don't hear anything.

You guys hear anything?

Morgan: Oh, did you hear that?

Lester; Sweep the leg, Morgan.

Sweep the leg.

Mitt; Just so you know, I think my fist is bigger than your entire head.

Anna: Lay off him, meatheads.

Morgan: Anna, what are you doing?

Anna; Saving you, babe.

Morgan: Um...

I don't really think that that's...

Mitt: Hey, I don't fight girls.

Anna: Neither do I.

Oh!

Casey: Can I get a background clearance on a one Anna Wu?

Morgan: Nice sh*t, Miss Wu.

Casey: I have a candidate for possible field work.

Chuck: No.

Bryce: Chuck.

Chuck: What did I say about the entrances?

Bryce; We need to talk about Sarah.

She had a chance to take the sh*t back there and she didn't.

She hesitated and almost cost us the microchip and your life.

Chuck: I know.

Bryce: What are you going to do about it?

Chuck: I don't know, Bryce.

You tell me.

What am I supposed to do?

Bryce: You'll do the right thing.

You always do.

That why I sent you the Intersect in the first place.

Chuck: Hey, uh, Bryce...

Forgot your glasses.

Bryce: You keep 'em.

If you're going to be a real spy, you're gonna need them.

Chuck: I don't...

I don't want to be a real spy.

Bryce: From what I've seen, it's a little too late for that, Chuck.

I'm sure you hate me right now.

But someday you're gonna realize I was looking out for you.

I had been all along.

Sarah: I know I hesitated.

I let my guard down momentarily and it was a mistake.

But I can protect Chuck.

Casey: Hand me that chammy, will you?

Sarah: Hey.

Chuck:,Hey.

Sarah: Everything okay?

Chuck: Yeah, yeah.

Just, there's, um...

I just had a couple of things I wanted to tell you before dinner.

Yeah.

Sarah: Me, too.

Chuck; Look...

Sarah: Look...

Chuck: I'm sorry.

Look, we both know how I feel about you, so I'm just gonna sh**t straight.

Sarah, you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

You're beautiful, you're smart, you laugh at all of my stupid jokes, and you have this horrible habit of constantly saving my life.

The truth is, you're everything that I thought I ever wanted and more.

The last few days, all I can think about is our future together, about what it's gonna be like once I finally get the Intersect out of my head, how we'll finally be together for real-- no fake relationships... no covers, no lies.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that you and I can never have a future together.

I fooled myself into thinking that we could, but the truth is we can't.

Because even if we had a real relationship, it would never really be real.

I'd still never know anything about you-- your real name, your hometown, your first love, anything.

And I want more than that.

I want to be able to call you at the end of a bad day and tell you about some funny thing that Morgan did and not find out that I can't because you're off... somewhere in Paraguay, quelling a revolution with a fork.

I'm a normal guy... who wants a normal life.

And as amazing as you are, Sarah Walker, we both know that... you will never be normal.

Sarah: You know, someday, when the Intersect is out of your head and you have the life that you always wanted, you'll forget all about me.

Chuck: I seriously doubt that.

Sarah: Come on, we better get inside.

They're waiting for us.

Awesome: Hey.

Hey.

It's our favorite bridesmaid.

Ellie: I'm so excited!

Wait till you see the dresses that I picked out.

Awesome: Hey, buddy.

Glad to see you guys worked things out.

Who knows, maybe you're next, huh?

Sarah: How about that?

It's so pretty.

Chuck: Not bad.

Carmichael.

Charles Carmichael.

I hate Bryce Larkin.
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