04x14 - Chuck Versus the Seduction Impossible

[bunniefuu]

Chuck: Here are a few things that you might need to know.

Roan montgomery: Hello... Diane.
Beckman; Hello, Roan.

Chuck: What's the deal with this Roan guy?

Sarah: He's a legend in the department.

An incredible spy. Real old-school James Bond type.

Congratulations.

Devon:Awesome.

Mary: Hello, angel.

(computerized bleep)

♪ ♪

( on the phone)
Roan: I really wish you'd pick up.

I need to hear your voice tonight.

I'm sorry, again, that I couldn't make it, but...

I'm thinking of you.

Sweet dreams, and besos, my flower.

I'm jealous.

Amina: Would you like a drink?

[i Roan: ]I'd like to be that drink.[/i]

Mmm.

Roan: Men must take one look at you and tell you all their secrets.

Amina: Impress me.

Roan: Here's one... ah.

The new hundred dollar bill.

Impossible to counterfeit, but...

Someone did... perfectly.

It's called a super note, and I'm in town to find out who made it.

Amina: So you're a spy.

Oh... That's very exciting...

Roan Montgomery.

Salina: Hello, Roan. (stammers)

Naughty... naughty... Roan.

(sizzling)

(grunts)

(thud)

(women snickering)

Roan: What a way to go.

(laughing)

(chattering) Ellie, I think she has your mouth...

(fussing)

Chuck: Oh!

Casey: I'm out of here.

Mary: Okay. Here's the sit-rep.

It has been 23 minutes since Clara had a number one, 51 minutes since number two, and 76 minutes since her last feeding.

Maybe she's hungry.

Devon: Or maybe she needs a change.

Hey, Sarah, could you get the diapers and wipes?

Chuck, feeding pillow, stat!

Chuck: Okay.

ELLIE: Mom, can you take her for a minute while I get settled?

Yeah. Go to Grandma.

Come to Grandma.

(fussing stops)

Mary: Yeah. That's my girl.

Captain: Aw, Grandma's got the magic touch.

Mary: Oh...

Mary: Smooth and silent.

Same technique I always used for moving live expl*sives. (coos)

Devon: Okay, I'll just edit that part out.

(quietly) Morgan: Wow.

Casey: Babies are stressful.

Morgan: Tell me about it.

You know, speaking of which... Alex... you know, there's something I want to... tell you... talk to you about...

Hold on! Wow!

It's all good... great. Alex isn't pregnant.

No, no. She just... She wants me to meet her mom.

Casey: Oh. Kathleen.

Morgan: Yeah.

Kathleen. You know, and the thing is, I feel kind of uncomfortable starting off this relationship with her with this secret about my friend-slash- not-dead-ex-fiancée.

Could you touch base with her, please, and tell her you're actually alive?

Casey: Not a good idea. Mm-mm.

Morgan: You know, uh, Alex's having a tough time with this, you know?

She's been lying to her mom this whole time, and, uh, she couldn't even talk to her when you were in a coma.

You see? So...

(sighs)

Casey: I'll think about it.

Morgan: Yes! Thank you.

Great! Perfect. You're the man!

Could you do it kind of quick, though, you know?

Because I just... I had this dinner planned on Friday...

Ellie: So, Chuck, Sarah, what are you guys thinking for the big day?

Devon: Oh, it would be so great if Clara could walk down the aisle as your flower girl.

You know, Woodcombs usually walk at six or seven months, so you really don't have to wait that long.

What are your colors going to be? Oh...

I'm a better gray than blue, just as a...

Mary: I still have my veil, if you want to borrow it.

Ellie: I don't... I don't know that Sarah's a veil girl.

Captain: Oh, my cousin is the raddest vegan caterer.

You got to use him.

Ellie: Honey, the wedding cake he made Jim was beige.

Captain: Well, you know what they say: something old, something new, something borrowed, something beige. (imitates buzzer) Wrong.

It's not beige... Wow...

(grumbling indistinctly) family... intense...

Sarah: I'm actually sweating.

The last time I sweat, there was g*nf*re involved.

Red? Don't use red. Red is back! Blue...

(arguing indistinctly)

What does that mean? He doesn't even eat cake!

Casey; I hear you. We need a bad guy.

So badly.

Sarah; Guys... we need a mission.

♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪

(whimpers)

(screen bleeps)

(clears throat)

Casey: Sorry to disturb you, General.

Beckman : No... (clears throat), not at all.

Chuck: General, we were just wondering if there was anything that you, or our country, needed, from us.

Preferably far outside of America.

Beckman: Actually, I do have a mission, but it would be off the books.

You would have no support, and it's extremely dangerous.

Chuck: We're in!

Sarah; We're in!

In!

Then your mission is to rescue and return one of our own: Agent Roan Montgomery.

(screen bleeps) Chuck: Roan Montgomery?

You mean the seduction master himself?

I love that guy.

What happened? Was he captured?

Beckman: He was last seen in a café in Marrakech.

Sarah: Uh, General, given Agent Montgomery's... proclivities, is it possible that he perhaps took an elective trip off the...

Beckman: No. That is not what happened.

We believe he was investigating local crime czarina Fatima Tazi.

She is best known for her private merc army of female soldiers.

Agent Montgomery, luckily, has a tracker on him.

It shows that he is in Fatima's fortress in Marrakech.

Locate him, and bring him safely back to the United States.

Thank you.

(screen bleeps)

Chuck: What is going on with the general? !

She's a hot mess!

Casey: Well, General Beckman and Roan Montgomery have a bit of a history.

Sarah: Their romance has been going on for decades.

Historic events happen when those two are together.

Casey: Berlin '89, Iraq '91...

Florida 2000...

Sarah: Which is why we better go get him.

(high heels clacking)

Fatima; Roan Montgomery.

Did you ever think your storied life as a spy would come to an end because you picked up a girl in a bar?

Roan: Well, actually, yes.

That's precisely how I thought I'd go.

But that's not what happened.

Fatima: Oh?

Roan: Mm-mm. No, I'm exactly where I wanted to be: in front of the woman who's created the world's only flawless counterfeit bills.

Fatima: And meeting me was worth dying for?

Roan; You're not going to k*ll me.

You're going to make me your head of distribution.

(giggles)

Roan: No, no, no. I'm not joking.

My international contacts can help you launder your money so that people like me don't keep showing up at your door.

Fatima: And why would I do business with a CIA pig?

(sniffs) Roan; Mmm.

Because rolling around in the mud can be so much... fun.

Chuck: What?

Sarah: You always over-pack for missions.

Chuck: How am I supposed to know what kind of mission we're going on?

It could be a sh**ting mission; it could be a dancing mission.

It could be a sh**t-dance, which I know isn't really a thing, but knowing our track record, is very much a possibility.

Sarah: Well, let's just save that for the honeymoon, shall we?

So... your family.

Chuck: Sorry, sorry.

They're a little intense about the wedding, huh?

Sarah: They're very sweet.

But...

Chuck: But... ?

Sarah: I have a proposition for you.

Okay.

What if we eloped?

I know that you want the big family wedding, but your family is going to be this intense until we get married, so... what if we-- just the two of us-- were to run away to some beautiful, romantic, amazing place?

Then all of this stress and pressure could be avoided.

Think about it.

Morgan: Is she trying to k*ll me?

Chuck: I know. Elope?

I can't elope.

Morgan: Of course you can't!

Who's going to be the best man?

I'll tell you who.

Some weird, creepy cousin of some weird, old stranger you find to marry you.

And then his weird, old wife who smells like Thousand Island dressing is going to stand up for Sarah.

And then you're stuck with a bunch of weird, old, stinky strangers in your wedding photos.

Chuck: I just got my family back together, you know?

I have a niece now.

I want them to be in my wedding.

But you know, marriage is about compromise, and this is what Sarah wants.

Morgan: But you giving Sarah what she wants and me not getting what I want is not, necessarily, "compromise. "

The point is-- and I'm sorry to say this to you, buddy, because I know you've never been able to do this with a lady, ever-- but you're going to have to put your foot down.

Just say no.

Chuck: No, huh?

To Sarah?

Morgan: This is what I think you should do, okay?

You start by saying no to something far less important, and then, you know, slowly work your way up.

Chuck: A practice "no.

Morgan: " Practice "no. "

Chuck: Interesting.

♪ ♪

Casey: Okay. Cut through and enter here.

(laser sizzles) (clears throat)

Sarah: Chuck, do you need some water? Uh...

Chuck: You know what?

No.

Sarah: Okay.

Chuck: Actually, yes. I'm kind of thirsty.

Sure.

Casey: Come on, let's go.

Sarah: Do you want pliers?

Chuck: Yeah.

♪ ♪

Casey; Wow, some fortress.

Chuck: Yeah, well, looks like we need a costume change.

Making me, once again, right to, as you say, "over-pack. "

Sarah: By the way, for the record, I will not at any point during this mission be dressing as a belly dancer.

Chuck: What if you need to do it for our country?

Sarah: I'm sure America can handle it.

By the way, if you're into the Moroccan thing, we could always elope here.

Just think about it. Come on.

Let's go. In here.

Chuck: Again, Casey, I can't apologize enough for that accidental touching in there.

Just very a tight changing space.

Casey: Yeah. Don't mention it.

Sarah: Looks like Roan is upstairs.

Casey: Let's go.

Chuck: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, super bad Saudi oil tycoon at 12:00.

Sarah: What do you think they're doing here?

Casey; It's not our mission. Let's find Montgomery and figure out what's up. Come on.

Sarah: Well, according to the tracker, Roan is in that room, over there.

After you, Casey.

Casey: Okay.

This could get fun.

(tranq darts f*ring)

(gasps)

♪ ♪

(door closes)

Roan: Finally, my little minx.

Did you bring the oils?

♪ ♪ Oh...

Shall we celebrate the little soiree I made for you downstairs?

Wait, wait, wait.

I hear the footsteps of...

Ooh, two women.

And a large man.

Darling, you know I like it spicy, but I do think...

Chuck: Don't you mean "two large men"?

Roan: You three? What are you doing here?

Casey: Rescuing you. You're welcome.

Roan: I don't need... rescuing.

Unlike you, Colonel sh**t 'Em Up, I can finesse my way out of any situation.

Chuck: And what situation would this be, exactly?

(stammering)

Roan: Listen, I don't have time to go into it, but I'm about to blow Fatima's counterfeiting ring wide open.

Sarah: Wait, you're on a mission?

Roan: Yes.

She's making super notes.

Wait a minute. How'd you find...

Who sent you?

(clears throat)

Chuck: General Beckman.

Roan: ...

(groans)

Diane's birthday present.

The watch. It's got a tracking device in it?

Well, you've got to leave.

She's going to be here any second.

We're going to, um... seal our partnership.

Oh, look, look. She's coming. She's coming.

You've got to hide.

Just hide.

Go, go. Here, go! Hide!

Fatima: How is my naughty little turncoat?

Roan: Mmm! Ready to be your naughty little turn-on.

Fatima: Mmm.

You are very feisty, eh?

(chuckling)

Roan: Oh, feed me or b*at me.

I don't care. Just get in here.

Alex: Hey.

Morgan:,Hi. Oh.

(both chuckling)

Alex: So, everything's set up for Friday.

You're going to meet my mom.

(chuckles)

Are you excited?

Morgan: What? I am so excited.

Absotutely. You kidding me?

Yeah, yeah. It's just that I have... a little surprise for you, as well.

Alex: Really?

Morgan: Yeah.

I talked to your father.

And he agreed to get in touch with your mom.

Let her know that he's okay, alive and well, and back in the picture.

Isn't that great? Come on.

Alex: What? Morgan, no.

No, that is not great at all.

I have been keeping my dad a secret from my mom on purpose, okay?

To protect her, because for the first time in her life she's finally happy.

Morgan: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, bad initiative.

I thought it would have made you happy.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'll fix this, okay? I promise.

You look a lot like your father right now.

A cigar right now and a Kn*fe, and you would...

FATIMA (giggling): You've been a very naughty, naughty little spy.

Roan: Oh, you better teach me a a lesson, then.

Fatima: Yes, I will. (chuckles)

Sarah: (whispers): Chuck, if you get us caught because you sneeze, we are officially the worst spies in the world.

Chuck: I know.

Bad Three Stooges.

Chuck: I get it. And I, and I... and I won't.

But man, it is dusty.

Sarah: We have to get out of here. (Fatima giggling)

Let's just take Fatima out.

We'll grab Roan and bail out the window.

Okay, copy that.

You good, Chuck?

Chuck: Um... no.

Sarah: No?

Chuck: Yeah, no. I-I said no because I think... I think Roan is making some good headway here and we should let him finish.

(Fatima moans)

The mission. Finish the mission.

But...

But nothing, okay? I said no... woman.

Sometimes in a relationship people disagree about things and...

See, see?

Not the worst spies in the world.

(Chuck sneezes)

Fatima: Guards!

Betrayer!

Roan: No, not betrayer, lover.

Fatima: Shut up!

These are clearly your comrades.

Take them all to the dungeon.

(sighs)

Roan: Baby... this is all a misunderstanding.

It's me, Roan.

Casey: Sit tight. I'll get you out.

Roan: So, last I saw you two you were a young, exciting couple-- chasing, flirting.

Now, the silent treatment.

Sexy.

Chuck: If you must know, we are very much in love, happy, and soon to be married.

We're just... having a bit of a disagreement right now, and the ball and chain isn't helping.

Sarah; Are you calling me a ball and chain?

Chuck: There's a ball and ch... there's an actual ball and chain here.

Do you... Do you not see this on the ground attached to my leg?

Ball and chain.

Sarah: Yes, thank you.

What's with all the "no's" lately, anyway?

Chuck: I may have been a little obstinate before.

Roan: Okay, let me guess. This is about something bigger.

Performance issues.

Chuck: No! I am adequate. More than adequate in that depart... Right?

You can't, you can't agree with me?

I don't want to... Sarah, I don't want to elope.

Okay? I just don't. Not at all.

Not even in the slightest bit.

I've always wanted a big family wedding, and now more than ever, so no.

My answer to eloping is no.

Sarah: Okay, fine. I hear what you're saying.

But why do you get to say no?

What about what I want?

(sighs)

Casey: Okay, I've got eyeballs on the dungeon door, and there is a lady guard.

I'm gonna seduce my way past her.

Chuck: Oh, no.

Sarah: Uh-oh.

Roan: What? What's happening?

Sarah: Casey's gonna try and seduce the guard.

Roan: No! What? The man who flunked my course at the farm twice? !

Sarah: Casey, that's not a very good idea.

Don't you have a g*n or some expl*sives?

Roan: Yeah, because you're terrible at seduction.

You have no finesse!

Casey; I heard that.

Blowing the door will only alert the other guards.

Now, this is exactly the type of girl I know how to charm.

Chuck: Oh, God, he's gonna charm her.

Roan: Look, tranq and explode!

Casey, tranq and explode!

Evening.

Stop!

Casey: Well...

That's a lovely w*apon you have there.

Go.

Casey: Gosh, it must get awfully lonely down here in the dungeon by yourself, no one to talk to.

Fatima’s soldier: Yes. Yes, it does.

Casey: Cold, too.

You can take it.

You're hearty.

I can see why they didn't assign one of those skinny ones down here.

(groans)

Chuck: Don't tell me.

(tranq dart fires)

(device beeps)

Roan: So you tranqed her and blew the door.

How charming.

Casey: I rescued you. Shut up.

Okay, let's get out of here.

Casey: I'm staying here.

Sarah: What? Why?

I told Beckman about Montgomery's leads.

I'm gonna get to the bottom of these super notes.

Get him back to Burbank.

Roan: Oh, yes, about that, I'm not going back to the States with you.

Thanks, all the same. This has been a debacle.

Chuck: No, Roan, we need to take you back with us.

Roan: No, thank you...

(tranq dart fires)

Really.

Casey: Beckman said he might try that.

Tell Morgan I'll be back in a week or two. See ya.

Chuck: Okay, well, mission accomplished. .

Sarah and I will go upstairs and let you guys catch up.

Beckman: Sit... down!

Chuck: Sitting down, ma'am.

Beckman: Agent Montgomery, your mission to Morocco, who ordered you to go?

Roan: Well...

Beckman: No one did!

Fatima Tazi, the super notes?

You went after them without any authorization, and now I have one of my best agents hidden inside a Moroccan fortress without backup!

Be on standby.

If Colonel Casey gets into trouble in Morocco, I am sending you in to get him out.

Roan: Diane...

General... if there's trouble, I'll get Casey out.

Beckman; No. You're done, Roan.

I have a new mission for you.

♪ ♪

(scanner beeps)

Roan: Charles, you should never sneak up on a spy.

Even a former one.

Chuck: Right. Sorry.

So, how's, uh, how's everything going?

Roan: I've never felt polyester against my skin before.

I feel a chafing.

The chafe of stylelessness.

Chuck: I hear you on that.

Um, listen, Roan, I'm-I'm kind of going through my own spy relationship turmoil thing, situation here, and I was just-- I wanted to ask you about the general.

Chuck: Is this about the Morocco thing?

Roan: Of course not.

Diane is upset about Berlin.

Chuck: Berlin?

Roan: Chuck, sit down.

I have a few minutes left on my break.

Berlin. 1989.

Not a good year for building walls in East Germany.

(shouting)

(cheering)

We had just won the Cold w*r.

I was off to Moscow on an assignment.

Diane was on her way back to Washington and a promotion.

♪ ♪

(g*n hammer cocks)

We wouldn't see each other for months, and just before I left, she asked the question.

Beckman: What about us?

Roan: That's when I said it.

I'm not even sure why, but I told her, "If we're alive in 20 years, let's throw in the towel, be a normal couple, lead a normal life. "

Chuck: Beckman was a dirty blonde?

Roan: Mm. It was the '80s.

Everything was dirty blonde.

We were supposed to meet in Washington a few days ago.

Roan: I really wish you'd pick up.

I need to hear your voice tonight.

I'm sorry again that I couldn't make it, but I'm thinking of you.

Sweet dreams, and besos, my flower.

(beeping)

Morgan: Casey?

Casey. Yes! Listen.

Listen, I'm so glad I caught you. This will not take long.

Casey: Morgan, I'm on a mission.

Morgan: Yeah, I know. I know.

Casey; I'm in a wall.

Morgan: Of course you are.

Hear me out, please.

Casey: I know, I know. Talk to Kathleen.

I will.

Morgan: Actually, you know what?

Never mind about that. It's-It's totally cool.

Thank you so much, though.

Casey: You were right. I'm going to do it.

Morgan: No, I wasn't totally right, you know.

As it turns out, Alex doesn't want you to talk to her.

Casey: Oh.

Morgan: But, uh, enjoy your wall. And come back safe.

Casey: So, wait. She doesn't ever want me to talk to her mom?

Morgan: I don't know, buddy. I don't know.

And, for whatever it's worth, I'm sorry.

In fact, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I mean...

Casey; Got to go.

Morgan: Dig deep in there and...

Casey?

Roan: I never thought I'd make it 20 years.

I am a spy.

I can't be normal.

It's not who I am.

Chuck: See, that's how I feel about the eloping thing.

That's not who I am.

Roan: Well, then, you know, you have to stop saying no to Sarah and convince her.

The first thing I teach my students at the farm is when you want to convince an intimate relation, you have to set the scene for the conversation.

Create an erotic atmosphere.

Oh, like a sexy situation.

Roan: Yes, but don't say it like that.

Oh.

Roan: Everything is easier with sex in the air.

Secrets are shared.

Yes's come more easily.

No's disappear.

Chuck: Yeah, yeah. I just... I just...

I don't... I don't think I know how to do that.

Roan: Charles, come here.

Let's try on some shirts.

Yes.

Now, you're going to need a suit.

Chuck: Sarah?

Sarah: I'll be right out.

Chuck: All right, well, listen.

I made us a reservation at this place, so...

(coughs)

Uh, just throw on a little something, huh?

And...

Sarah?

♪ ♪

What's happening here?

Sarah: Hi, Chuck.

I'm sorry.

Chuck; Oh. That's an excellent apology.

I am very sorry, too.

Sarah: Now, I want you to relax, and just think of the two of us running away together.

Chuck: Yeah?

Sarah: Now just imagine, instead of me wearing a white wedding dress in L.A. with all the family, picture me wearing this just for you anywhere in the world.

Sound like fun?

Chuck: (gasping): Yeah.

Sarah: Chuck, elope with me.

Chuck: Yeah.

No.

Wait. No.

No, no, no. What are you doing?

I can't believe you're doing this.

Sarah: What?

Chuck; You're using Roan's methods.

Sexy situations? Erotic atmospheres?

You're trying to seduce me.

Sarah: Why are you wearing that outfit?

Chuck: Well, I'm trying to seduce you, too.

Just not, clearly, as well.

(cell phone vibrating)

Sarah: Beckman wants to see us in Castle.

Chuck: Well, maybe we should change, then.

Sarah: Fine. Fine.

Chuck: I'm not saying I want to change.

I want... I want you to stay in red...

Always, always be in whatever you're wearing right now.

CASEY (whispers): All right, here's the situation.

Fatima's meeting with her financial backers on the other side of this wall.

Saul: Fatima, we provided you with $100 million in gold five months ago.

You won't tell us where your mint is, or where you're storing these bills.

Level with us.

These super notes really exist?

Fatima: It gives me great pleasure to announce that we have been able to produce more notes than originally anticipated, for a grand total of one trillion dollars.

Saul Al Habi: What are we going to do with one trillion dollars?

That is too much currency.

Our fortunes depend on a strong dollar.

Fatima: Yours may, but mine does not.

Thanks for the gold.

(sh*ts f*ring)

Beckman: What happened?

Casey? Casey, are you there?

Chuck: Casey.

Oh, thank God. Are you okay?

Casey: Yeah, yeah.

I'm still hidden, but part of the bearing wall came down.

I'm trapped.

I may have to cut my arm off.

Beckman: Hold on that, Colonel Casey.

Stand by for further instructions.

You're going to Morocco.

We need the location of that mint so we can destroy it.

Chuck: Yeah, and even more than that, we've got to get to Casey before he chops his own arm off.

Sarah: General, how are we going to find the location of the mint?

Fatima isn't going to tell us anything.

Beckman: Only one man could possibly get the information out of her.

Sarah: Roan?

Ma'am, Fatima will have Roan sh*t on sight.

No man could seduce Fatima Tazi twice. It's a...

Chuck: Seduction impossible.

Beckman: Get him.

Chuck; General, I know that Roan has broken a promise or two, but you can't send the man to his own death.

Beckman: Get me Roan Montgomery!

Mary: And that is the story of Sleeping Beauty.

You know, Grandma once had to take a potion that made me sleep for a couple of days.

But Grandma's partner had a potion, too.

And when it was time to wake me up, he put the antidote on his lips and woke me with a kiss, just like the prince.

Grandma was on a mission.

Can you say "mission"?

Roan: A seduction? No problem. But a rope climb?

I am getting a little old for this.

Sarah: Okay, climb over. Get to the boudoir, and seduce the location of the mint out of Fatima. We'll get Casey.

BECKMAN (over comm): Once we have the location of the mint, our att*ck drones will take it out.

Move out.

(grunting)

Roan: Hey, hey.

One last thing.

In case I don't see you two crazy kids again, do one thing for me.

Remember you're in love.

Listen to each other.

Never go on a mission angry.

Please, don't call out for help.

I had to come back to you, my love.

Fatima: What are you doing here?

Roan: Just hear me out, please.

I'm not here as a spy.

I'm here because of you.

I never wanted to leave you.

I was extracted because of another woman.

Fatima: Another woman?

Who?

Roan: My general.

Beckman ( over comm) Who is impatient.

Get the location of the mint, Roan.

(sighs)

Chuck: All this interpersonal stuff on a mission?

Sarah: It's very unprofessional.

Chuck: I know!

I don't want to fight.

Sarah: Me, neither.

Chuck: Okay, well, look, we know my family's stressful, but what else?

What, uh, you know, other pros and cons of having a big wedding?

Sarah: Well, okay, I mean, who am I gonna invite?

Who's gonna come?

Who's gonna walk me down the aisle?

(sighs)

Chuck: I'm such an idiot.

This was never about my family.

This is about yours.

I'm so sorry. I should have figured that out.

Sarah: I should have told you and not had you figure it out.

Casey: You have got to be kidding me with this conversation.

I am about to cut my arm off.

Chuck: Casey, hey. Yes.

Good. Sorry. We're right here.

Roan: Darling, I know you're not after wealth.

Your heart is far too pure for that.

What is it you want?

Why don't you tell me?

Let me help you.

Fatima: When I was a girl, my village was destroyed by an American conglomerate.

(laser crackling)

They strip-mined over my entire world.

(sighs)

So I am going to flood the markets with one trillion U. S. dollars.

The American economy will collapse, and it will be my little village that brought them down.

Roan: Hmm.

Yes, you told me about your village.

It's called... Setouan.

Is that right?

Fatima: Yes. You listened.

Roan: Of course.

I'd love to visit it someday.

Fatima: Hmm.

Beckman: I've got the village on my monitor.

(computer trilling)

There's the mint.

We got it!

This is Beckman, authorization 8485-Charlie.

Initiate air strike, sending grid coordinates now.

Man: Air strike... Chuck, Sarah, get Casey out of there.

Sarah: We just need a minute.

Uh, General, we're gonna be slightly delayed.

Casey: Chuck, what's happening?

Chuck: Bad guys. Lots of bad guys.

(soft grunt)

Casey: Right behind you.

Take one step to the left.

The other left, idiot.

Don't move!

Never done this before.

Chuck: What? Never done what before?

Woman: There are Americans in the palace.

Fatima: You... bastard!

Roan: Yes, I answer to that.

Woman: What do we do?

Fatima: k*ll them.

(woman gasps)

(gasps)

Fatima: Well, that takes care of your friends.

Chuck: Casey, you are great!

(coughing) Get me out of here!

Chuck: Okay.

Now to deal with you, Roan.

(phone ringing)

Roan: So sorry.

Oh. So rude.

Hi. Could I call you right back? I'm right...

Who is this?

Beckman: This is General Diane Beckman.

With whom am I speaking?

This is the woman who is about to k*ll your agent.

Good. It's about time.

Fatima: Good?

She said, "Good. "

Roan: We're in the middle of a tiff.

Beckman: I don't want to stop you.

I'd just like to say one last thing to Roan.

I'm happy to see him die.

(laughing)

Fatima: Another one of your admirers.

Roan: Hello. Diane, listen, I just want to say that I am truly sorry, but, you know, I can be such a bastard.

Beckman: Thank you, Roan.

Oh, one more thing.

Roan: Yes?

Beckman: Duck!

♪ ♪

Beckman: Roan! Roan, are you there?

Is he alive?

Chuck; We got him, General.

He's right here.

Roan: Oh...

Sarah: Are you okay?

Roan: Oh.

(sighs)

I still got it.

Yeah.

Ah, where's the bar? Come on.

Let's go. Let's get out of here.

What's the hurry?

Chuck: Go, go, go. (Roan mutters)

Roan: Here is to the woman who blows everyone else away.

Beckman: Seeing you in action again-- it was like old times.

Roan: Old times?

I like to say "the '80s. "

Darling, listen, there's something...

Mm.

Beckman: I know.

You don't want to settle down.

You're not made for that.

You're a spy.

That is your life.

Roan: Almost like you rehearsed that.

Beckman: It was my speech to you.

Roan: You changed your mind, too?

Why did you hunt me down?

Beckman: Roan, you never run away from a general.

♪ ♪

Roan: Yes, of course.

But I do hope our rendezvous aren't over.

Budapest last spring was divine.

Beckman: Well...

I have high hopes for Morocco tonight.

(laughs)

(laughter and indistinct chatter)

Good for you, Kath.

Ellie: Mom.

Mary: 30 more seconds, then we check the temp.

Ellie: Mom?

Mary: What is it?

Having you here has been great.

But you are ready to try it on your own.

I get it.

Ellie: No. No, it's not that.

I would keep you here forever, if I could.

Mom, do you really want to be a full-time grandma?

It's okay.

Mary: This is what I dreamed of for so many years.

Ellie:,I made Chuck quit the CIA, and sometimes I wonder if that was the right decision, because I know that he's a good person who's helped people, and he's protected us.

Mary: He's a Bartowski.

(soft laugh)

Ellie: And he says that you're the best.

I can't keep another person from being a hero simply because I'm... afraid.

If you need to be a spy, that's not another abandonment.

You'll still be in our lives.

Mary: I want to give everything to this baby that I never gave to you or Chuck.

Ellie: But that's my job.

You just have to be the best grandma in the world.

So... tell me about the agent who kissed you awake on the secret mission.

Mary: Oh...

He was a big romantic.

And the greatest husband there ever was.

Ellie: Aha. (laughs)

Chuck: Well, I'm glad we talked.

Sarah: Me, too.

I think eloping just seemed like a way for me to avoid my family.

Chuck: Sarah, you've done so much to help my family.

How can I help yours?

(sighs)

Sarah: I don't know. It's different.

Chuck: Sarah, come on.

It's our job to take care of some of the world's biggest problems.

t*rrorists and despots and oligarchs.

I mean, I think we can handle a family, even yours.

Hey, hey.

You are Sarah Walker, the most mysterious woman in the world, so as the future Mr. Sarah Walker, can't I get to know you better?