05x01 - Chuck Versus the Zoom

Complete collection of Chuck episode transcripts. Aired: September 2007 to January 2012.*

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When a twenty-something computer geek inadvertently downloads critical government secrets into his brain, CIA and NSA assign two agents to protect him and exploit such knowledge, turning his life upside down.
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05x01 - Chuck Versus the Zoom

Post by bunniefuu »

Chuck: Hi I'm Chuck. Here are a few things that you might need to know.

Decker: You really think you've been fighting evil...

... doing good?

You think it was all a coincidence?

The Intersect, FULCRUM, the Ring, Shaw, Agent X?

You're just a pawn, you always were.


Chuck: No, no, n-n-n-no, don't take the Intersect.

Decker: You're fired, Chuck.

Chuck: No!

Decker: Operation Bartowski is done.

Chuck: What if we went into business for ourselves?

Sarah: Hartley turned over all of Volkoff's assets to us.

Chuck: Our first purchase was the Buy More and everything below it.

Morgan: Freelance spies.

Under the radar, above the law.

Oh, man, this is gonna be so much fun.

Nice.

Guys... I know kung fu.

Chuck: So... ocean view, gulls flying by?

Think this is something you could get used to?

Sarah: Well, I-I think I'm more of a toes-in-the-sand kind of girl.

I like the idea of waking up in the morning and rolling out onto the beach.

Chuck: Okay, well, then maybe we can find a nice little place on the sand someday if we, you know...

Sarah: Survive this?

Chuck; Yeah.

Hi.

How you doing today?

Jean claude: No sh**ting.

I don't want the blood and the mess on the pool deck.

Make them jump.

Chuck: Think we can survive this?

Sarah: I don't think so, honey.

Jean claude; Honey?

You talk like an old married couple.

Chuck: Well, actually...

Jean claude: No, no, I'm sorry, I don't care.

Chuck: We just came for the vase.

It belongs to our client.

You let us have it and maybe we'll let you live.

Sarah: You've fallen into our trap.

You see, we work with a master spy, somebody who you can't see coming.

In fact, right now, he's probably...

(g*n cocks)

Casey: I want it noted that I took out six of their guys.

Henchman: He was taking this.

Jean Claude: You thieves have expensive tastes.

This vase is worth $6 million.

Chuck: It's times like these, I wish I still had the Intersect.

Casey: Well, you don't.

What now, Moriarty?

Jean Claude: k*ll them.

Chuck: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wait!

We have another master spy.

(groans)

(beeps)

(beeping)

Morgan: Okay, yes, yes, first mission as the Intersect.

You can do this.

They need you, Morgan, so get in there, okay, and you be a man.

No, be more than a man.

Start with the man part, just be a man first.

♪ ♪

Jean Claude: Keep going, thief, this is fun.

Chuck: Well, the fun's about to end, Jean Claude, because while we've been standing around chatting, our other master spy has been effortlessly breaching your compound's security.

♪ ♪

(thud)

Morgan: I'm good, I'm good.

Chuck: He's heartless, cruel...

Morgan: I'm so sorry, fishies, about your pond.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Sarah: You think your security men are the best, top-notch?

Jean claude: I admit I do.

Sarah: Well, our spy is currently slicing through them like a hot Kn*fe through butter.

Go on, say something about you-know-who.

Casey: Do I have to?

Sarah: Yes.

Casey: He'll tear your limbs off and b*at you with them.

Jean Claude: Okay, okay.

Points for trying, but where is this master spy?

Morgan: You looking for me?

Right here, tough guy.

(laughing)

Okay, here we go.

Here we go.

Jean Claude: k*ll him, too. k*ll them all.

Chuck: Come on. Now's the time, buddy.

Morgan: I'm working on it, working on it.

Casey: And... we're dead.

Let's dance.

(grunting)

♪ ♪

(grunting)

Jean Claude: Who the hell are you?

Chuck: Charles Carmichael of Carmichael Industries, private contractors, spies for hire.

Don't forget it.

(shattering)

Morgan: Wow, I really thought that the latch was latched, but, uh...

Buff that right out. I think we can, we can still make that-- we'll make that work.

Chuck: We're still working out the kinks.

♪ Chuck 5x01 ♪
Chuck Versus the Zoom
Original Air Date on October 28, 2011

(tires screeching)

♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪

(whimpers)

Chuck: All righty, folks, it wasn't a total catastrophe.

The client was not interested in the vase but the microchip inside it, and that is intact.

Boom.

Señor.

Morgan: Bang, we are in the pink.

Casey: The vase was going to be our payment.

Morgan: And... still is, fully restored.

Who's not going to pay six mil for a slightly used Ming vase?

Sarah: Chuck, we mowed through the Volkoff fortune on start-up costs. I mean, look at these numbers.

Chuck: $42 million, which is still a lot of dough.

Sarah: Rockets, b*ll*ts, the private jet, servicing the private jet, the fresh shrimp that Morgan likes to eat on the private jet.

Chuck: You have to understand they're just not the same frozen.

Sarah: They're expensive, and if we're going to stay solvent, then we need to collect soon.

Casey: Or crawl back to Beckman, get a government contract.

Never had a problem with Uncle Sam.

b*at the yahoos we got coming in here.

Chuck; Casey, our problem is not with Uncle Sam, it's with Clyde Decker, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Casey: Beg, plead.

You know I get antsy taking cases with moral ambiguity.

Chuck: Guys, come on.

Sarah, isn't this what we wanted?

Come on, Carmichael Industries-- the independence and freedom to do what we want when we want, and we're doing good, we're doing good.

We got a solid team.

We just need a little more time to get our feet on solid ground.

Casey: And, in the meantime, we work for dirtbags.

Sarah: Chuck, you're handling this really well.

I mean, all the bumps in the road and Morgan with the Intersect and you without it.

Chuck: Which is fine.

Morgan, yes, has the Intersect now, but I'm, I'm happy for him.

Plus, I get to work with my smokin' hot wife and my best friends.

Who could ask for anything more?

Okay.

Sarah: What was that?

Chuck: (mumbling): What was what?

Sarah: Are you hiding something?

Chuck: Why would I need to hide anything?

Sarah: Okay.

Chuck: Okay.

Morgan, Operation

VFTB is dead.

Morgan: "View from the Bluff" is dead?

(groans) Chuck, I found the perfect house for you guys.

Chuck: Well, except that I was wrong and Sarah doesn't want a house on the bluff.

She wants her toes in the sand.

Morgan: Okay, fine, "Operation Toes in the Sand. "

Actually, it makes a better acronym.

Toes in the Sa-- T. I. T...

Why don't, why don't, why don't we just call it "Operation Toes, " okay?

Oh, fine, fine, I'll start my research.

Oh, Chuck, I know you've been setting aside funds for this house, you know, and I hope my accident with the vase didn't, didn't blow it for you.

Chuck: No, hey, hey, don't worry about it.

We've got a very promising potential client.

We're going to wine and dine him and, soon enough, we will be raking it in.

Good, and you know what?

If it all goes south, well, we still have...

The Buy More.

She's served us well over the years.

It all seems so normal, a little too normal.

Yeah.

Sleeping dogs, though; sleeping dogs.

(phone rings)

Morgan: Oh, it's Casey.

Wants us down in Castle.

Yeah, all right.

Lester: (quietly): Hoist the flag.

Chuck: Hey, Casey, what do you need?

Casey: The client's here.

I don't like him.

Chuck: What? The who, the what?

The client-- the client is here?

Casey: Hmm.

Chuck: I thought we were going to wine and dine the guy, charm him.

Casey: Waste of time-- he's here now.

Chuck: Casey, this is supposed to be a secret base.

Casey: I took precautions.

Chuck: Oh, good.

Casey, what precautions?

(panting)

What the hell kind of operation is this?

Chuck: We're still working out the kinks.

Man: $20 million was stolen from me by a high-level Ponzi schemer.

You heard the name Roger Bale?

Well, you will soon.

He's bilked investors to the tune of about a half a billion dollars.

Sarah: Why not go to the cops?

Woodley; I did, but Bale has falsified records, saying he lost the money in normal trading and he's broke, but he keeps buying property in St. Martin.

He's a thief.

The heart of Bale's operation is a computer vault in his corporate headquarters.

Access the accounts, get my money.

Morgan: Yes, we ride at midnight.

Woodley: His security is deadly.

Chuck; So maybe, maybe we, we ride first thing in the morning.

No need to rush.

That's probably a better idea.

Woodley: Twenty percent of what you recover is yours.

Casey: Fifty.

Done some digging on you, Woodley.

You're just an ambulance chaser, trial lawyer, scum of the earth.

Chuck: Uh! He's kidding.

He's kidding. He's only kidding.

Sarah: Casey, Bale is worth infiltrating anyway.

Looks like he's stolen money from teachers' unions and families.

Woodley: He stole $2 million from Rush Limbaugh.

Casey: Tell me everything you know about this animal.

Woodley: He's throwing himself a party tomorrow night-- his going-away-- but it's strictly invite, and everything goes through his secure Blackberry.

Chuck: What a complete tool.

Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah on the Bluetooth, all day-- how rude.

SARAH (over comm): I'm getting a really good feed from the satellite.

The party's being set up, and the place looks like a fortress.

Chuck: See? I told you satellite was a good investment.

We just got to figure out a way to get into his PDA and invite ourselves to this party.

Morgan: Let's talk house, homeboy.

Sarah: What was that?

Did you say house?

Chuck; Nothing, n-nothing, Sarah.

Just hopping off real quick.

(laughs softly)

The house is secret, remember?

Morgan: The only secret, the only real secret is gonna be which room you're sleeping in.

Why? 17 of 'em!

Swimming pool, screening room, bowling alley, gourmet kitchen, second... bowling alley, and it's on the beach.

Chuck; (sighs) I mean, it's crazy, but...

Morgan: Hey, toes in the sand.

Chuck: Toes in the sand. Toes in...

Toes in the sand!

Could you imagine how awesome this would be, buddy?

I mean, to give Sarah the dream life?

Owning her own company, living in the dream home, a place that we can call our own.

We just need this gig to pay out.

If (phone rings nearby) I know.

Morgan: One second.

(clicking, beeping)

Chuck, why don't we just nab this guy's phone while he's playing squash?

Chuck: Huh?

Morgan : I just zoomed on his gym bag.

Okay?

Morgan: Kensington Athletic.

It's, like a super exclusive squash club.

He's got to have a regular game, right?

Chuck: Morgan, that's fantastic.

Fantastic!

Zoomed?

Did you say you... what?

Did you... you said you zoomed on his gym bag?

Morgan: Yes, yeah, because you had "flash, " which was great, but... mmm... I kind of want to do my own thing, mix it up a little bit, so I came up with zoom.

You don't like it. Ah, you don't like it.

Chuck: No, hey, hey--

"zoom" it is, buddy. You know.

Whatever you want.

Morgan: Really? You're-you're amazing.

You are so Zen right now. If I had a power like that and I thought it was gone forever, aw, Chuck, I'd be a wreck.

Whew! But not you, man, you are my hero.

You're great even without the Intersect.

Chuck: How certain are you that these glasses only had one reload left in them?

Ellie: (sighs) Like... very certain.

I tried to access the program, but there was no way to update it.

This version of the Intersect is a one-time deal-- I'm sorry.

Chuck: That's okay. That's okay.

Morgan's got it now, and he's doing surprisingly well, so...

Ellie: Chuck, what's wrong?

Chuck: (heavy sigh) The Intersect opened me up to big dreams.

But in order for those dreams to become a reality, I need this business to succeed, and...

Ellie: You think the company doesn't work if you don't have the Intersect?

Chuck: Yeah.

Ellie: Chuck, I don't think that Dad wanted you to have the Intersect forever.

And besides, you don't need it.

The computer didn't make you a hero, it just gave you an opportunity to become one.

Now it's up to you.

The training wheels are off, you're gonna fall down, but I promise you... you can do this.

My two cents.

Chuck; Thanks, sis.

I needed a good Ellie speech.

Ellie: Well, what are sisters for?

(laughs)

Chuck: The mission, is to access Roger Bale's PDA and put ourselves on the guest list for his party tonight.

The phone is gonna be difficult to get to, and password-protected when we do.

Casey: Bale has bodyguards; could be trouble.

Chuck: And that's why you're the one going for the phone, Casey.

This plug-in will cut through all the encryption and install a virus that will send me an invite.

Bale is playing in a club squash tournament. Morgan, you're gonna delay his opponent while I step in and match up with Bale.

He'll get to know my face and name so that when I show up at the party, I won't be a complete stranger.

What? What-what-what, what's the problem? What's up?

Casey: You're gonna play? Do you actually play any non-video game sports?

Chuck: Yeah, I played some racquetball.

I think I can fake squash for half an hour.

Morgan: No, Chuck, I don't think so.

Chuck: I... Sarah.

Sarah: Uh... well, sweetheart, um... you know, I-I think what, um...

Casey: Let's put Grimes on the court.

He can zoom on squash, give the guy a game.

Chuck: "Zoom, " Casey?

Casey: It'll buy me some time.

Morgan: You delay his opponent, take over the job I was gonna do.

It'll be great, right? What was the job I was gonna do?

(moaning)

Yeah...

Oof...

Burnham: I think I'm supposed to be playing my game right now. You sure it's only 2:00?

Chuck: Oh, Mr. Burnham, you just sit here and relax.

I will tell you when it's time.

And right now, it is... not time.

Sarah: Bale's coming.

(over comm): Casey, he's headed your way.

Morgan, get ready, he'll be there in a minute.

Morgan: Yep.

Casey: Chuck, you keep that bear on that table, or this all falls apart.

Burnham: Remember, I like it deep... and hard.

Chuck: That's great.

That just sounds great.

Bale: Hey, man, sorry for the delay.

I had a hot tub full of nursing students.

Bale: They're so chatty.

Morgan: Totally.

Bale: So, you must be k*ller Burnham?

Morgan : He's a no-show.

I'm Michael Carmichael of Michael Carmichael Industries, a subsidiary of MikeCo.

Bale: That sounds like big money.

Morgan: Mmm, you have no idea.

You know, if was standing on my wallet...

I'd be tall.

Yeah. (laughs)

Chuck: Your skin is... soft to the touch.

There you go.

Chuck: Is that a waxing situation?

My wife's talked to me about waxing, but...

I'm not really a big fan of physical contact.

Outside of my job, of course.

This is what I do every day.

Bale: Hey, uh, your ball warm?

Here we go.

(grunts)

Morgan: Amigo, my ball is...

(whispers): red-hot.

Bale: You're pretty quick.

Morgan: "Sneaky quick, " they call that.

Morgan: Ooh! Sneaky quick.

Burnham:,Put a little elbow grease into it.

(grunting): Oh, yeah? Should I do that?

There you go. There it is.

(whispers): Almost there.

Almost there.

Little deeper.

Chuck: You know... you are a thick man.

Yeah... right there.

(grunts): There it is.

Come on.

(door opens)

Turn and reach, you old son of a bitch.

SARAH (over comm): Hey, Chuck, we got a problem.

Casey's caught up getting Bale's phone.

Chuck: Maybe I can tranq my guy and give Casey an assist.

Morgan: So, let me ask you a question.

Yes, sir.

This guy you're supposed to play, Jim Burnham, you called him something else.

Bale: k*ller.

Bale: Heard he k*lled nine men in the Foreign Legion.

The name stuck.

Morgan: Mm, only nine, huh?

Burnham: What the hell?

Chuck: No, no, somebody's not relaxing!

Relax, breathe, breathe.

I just dropped something.

Oil's slippery.

(chuckles)

Stark: John Casey.

I knew you'd fall for that old line.

I haven't seen you since jump school.

Casey: Stark.

Stark: Been a while.

Chuck: Breathe.

Burnham: Is that a g*n?

(gasps) I am gonna rip your head off!

Stark: What's a leatherneck like you doing in the Kensington Club?

Casey; Private security.

Stark: Me, too. For a turd named Bale.

Real scuzzer, but at least it's a payday.

I don't have to sell you on selling out.

Guy with your skills, Casey, you've got to be raking it in.

(grunting)

(loud cr*ck) (grunts)

Ah!

(chuckles)

Burnham: You think one little dart is gonna drop 400 pounds of solid meat?

(yells)

(yelling)

(mouthing)

Morgan: You seem like a... moderately successful individual.
♪ ♪

(grunting)

Let's say a fella had 40 mil just kind of lying around doing nothing.

What would you do with it?

Bale: You looking to invest?

Morgan:,I might be.

I might be.

(gasps)

(panicky grunting)

Chuck: Aah! Aah! No! No! No!

(yells)

Bale: Good game, Carmichael.

Morgan: Oh, bunny doll, bunny doll, Bale; Bale, bunny doll.

Bale: Hey, uh, why don't you guys come to my party tomorrow night?

Morgan: Tomorrow night? Bunny doll, do we have anything, uh, planned?

Sarah: No. I don't think so.

Well, how do you feel? You want to go?

Sarah: Oh, I'm game. Mm.

Bale: Excellenté.

Good, good, good, good, good.

It's a date, then, huh?

Tomorrow night.

♪ ♪

(grunting, Chuck whimpering)

(grunts)

(cocks g*n)

Casey: Quit goofing around, Chuck. We gotta go.

Chuck; What about the mission?

Casey: Don't worry, Morgan saved the day.

Got an invite to the party.

Chuck: Huh?

Casey: Thank God for the Intersect, huh?

Morgan: Hey, buddy.

Nice work on the mish today.

Yes. So listen, we wired a couple million dollars into Bale's account.

You're all set for the party. Would you go Bogart with the white tux, or would you go Bond with the black tux?

Chuck: Uh... black, definitely.

Morgan: I knew it. I knew black tux. Always bet on black.

Right?

Okay, what's wrong?

Chuck, is this Intersect withdrawal?

I mean, are you... are you missing it?

Chuck: Sure.

Yeah. Of course, but it's-it's more than that.

I'm just realizing how hard it's going to be without it.

I guess I got used to our spy missions being a little bit easier.

Morgan: But-But remember the big picture here.

Your beautiful wife, your perfect home.

It's all right here, buddy.

Toes in the sand.

It's the-the big picture.

Hey, oh.

I gotta go.

I'll get this to the lab.

Good job, team. Yeah.

Right, a high five here.

Good, good, good, good.

Good briefing.

Sarah: Chuck, do you realize that I am a trained spy who can tell when somebody is keeping a secret?

Especially when that someone happens to be my husband?

It's who I am.

Chuck: Husband without a secret.

Sarah; Casey and I are going to scout Bale's corporate headquarters, so we'll talk about this later.

Chuck: Can't this be that one-time conversation?

(sighs)

(sighs)

Chuck: This isn't good.

We finally lost control of the store, haven't we?

All right, where's Jeff? No...

Where's Lester? I can sense his evil little hand all over this.

(whirring)

Hey, Jeff.

(clunk)

(tires squealing, thud)

(whirring)

Lester: Heartbreaking, isn't it?

Chuck: What happened?

What do you mean?

Lester: Is this about poor Jeffrey over there?

Chuck: Poor Jeffrey? Poor Jeffrey?

Lester: He was trampled by a stampede of middle-aged secretaries during the midnight release of the talking Justin Bieber doll.

His legs were crushed.

He may never walk again.

But you would know that if you ever bothered to come in and actually manage the store, Grimes.

Or you, Bartowski, if you ever bothered to come by and check up on your friends.

Shame!

Shame.

Chuck: Morgan, I can't believe it.

Morgan: It's terrible. I feel so bad!

Chuck: No, Morgan, I mean, I literally can't believe it.

Morgan: Really? This? They wouldn't. They couldn't.

What am I talking about? It's Jeff and Lester.

Of course it's a scam.

Of course.

(whirring)

Jeff: Please help. Buy More insurance ran out.

Chuck; (scoffs) The audacity.

Chuck: As the secret owner of this establishment, I happen to know we have excellent insurance.

Morgan: Listen, how are we going to prove that Jeff and Lester are bilking it from the store?

Chuck: Well, maybe we construct some sort of ruse, you know, and trick him up out of the chair.

Or we could... Hang on.

Or we could wait for him to stand up like the moron that he is.

Morgan: Yeah. Mm.

Mr. Barnes, this is some sort of insurance scam? !

Jeff:,Hey, guys.

Chuck: Jeff, you're gonna give back every penny, or you're going to jail.

Jeff: To see my mom?

Lester: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Hey, guys, guys, what are you doing?

This is a very sick man here.

Ah! Ah, my gosh!

Jeffrey, you can walk!

Guys, it's a miracle.

It's a miracle.

This is because of your donations.

Chuck: Shame. (gasps)

Shame.

Morgan: Shame.

I think we may need to spend some more time at the Buy More.

Chuck: Yeah, we do. Oh!

Oh, I forgot-- Sarah wants to have a talk.

She knows I'm keeping a secret from her.

Morgan: Oh, no. Not the house.

Chuck: She's gonna try and break me.

Morgan: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Okay, I'm gonna hold on to this, right?

And, uh, you go in there, and you be strong.

Good luck.

Remember, I'm not there to save you this time.

Chuck: Sarah?

Sarah: In a minute!

Um... so, honey, here's the thing.

Uh, I'm not trying to keep anything from you.

You are my wife, and-and that's a part of the deal.

I'm well aware of that.

I would, however, like to keep a few things in a special category of "you don't need to know aboutness. "

Yeah.

♪ ♪

No, no.

Not today.

This has worked in the past. Not today.

Sarah: What is it?

Chuck: This. This. All that.

Sarah: What's your secret, Chuck?

(grunts)

Chuck: My lips are sealed.

Sarah: Well, let me help you unseal them.

Hand it over.

Morgan: He cracked like an egg.

It's an acronym.

You see the little dots there?

Sarah: Whatever

Morgan :If you were to break it up and sound it out phonetically...

(laughs)

Sarah: It's very sweet, Chuck, that you tried to surprise me.

Chuck: With a dream home.

Yeah. Like that one right there, right on the sand.

The perfect house for the perfect woman. What do you think?

(sighs)

It's not right, is it?

You know, I-I could just keep playing detective and trying to read your mind...

Sarah: Well, I haven't, um...

Well, this isn't something that I've ever told anybody.

Chuck: Hello. Husband.

It's my official title now.

I have a ring to prove it.

You tell me things that you don't tell other people.

Sarah: Uh, well, when I was a little girl, my, uh... my dad's "work" kept us moving around a lot.

And I always imagined what a real family would feel like, you know, what the perfect home for us all would be, and, you know, the dream house.

This is stupid.

Chuck: No, no, it's not. Babe, continue.

Sarah: Well, I always imagined a little white house with a red door and, don't laugh, but it had a picket fence, just like, you know, the houses that you see on TV that people live in.

Chuck: Hmm.

Mid-century, very Leave It to Beaver?

Sarah: Cozy, homey and simple.

Chuck: And perfect.

Sarah: Really?

Chuck: Sarah, I'm going to find you your dream home, whatever it takes.

I'll do anything. I promise.

Testing, one, two.

One, two, three.

(indistinct conversation)

CHUCK (over comm): Looking good, team.

Especially you, Sarah.

Well, let's have a great mission, huh, team?

While I sit by myself in the van.

God, I hope this works.

Allright. Let's go over the plan, one more time.

Casey, you locate Bale's computer vault.

Morgan and Sarah, you're gonna create a distraction, giving Casey enough time to get into the vault and tap into the system.

Morgan: Got it.

Bale, old man, good to see you.

Bale: Nice to see you.

Morgan: Right? Yeah, you remember Sarah?

Bale: I do.

Morgan: This is Chalmers, my mute manservant.

We have received your wire and account information.

On behalf of our investors, we're very excited to have you aboard.

Bale: Oh, I bet. I bet.

Follow me.

Morgan: Will do.

Casey: I was to be your accountant.

Morgan: What I did was, I improvised.

Okay. (grunts)

Chuck: Morgan, buddy, you're doing great.

You're doing great. Just stay on point.

Remember the mission. Casey, you're up.

(quiet whine, powering up)

(blipping)

Excellent. Excellent, Casey. Excellent.

Fiber optic cable leads all the way down that hall. That's probably where the vault is.

Casey: I'll need a key card.

Chuck: Sarah?

Sarah: I'm on it.

Bale: As you can see, my fortune is based on shared wealth.

Finding others who enjoy the better things in life.

Sarah: Yeah, that's very bold, Mr. Bale.

Morgan: Chuck... this jerk's starting to get handsy with my girl.

Ourgirl. Yourgirl.

Chuck: Calm. Calm, Morgan!

Just calm down.

Morgan : No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

I think I'm gonna zoom, okay?

I can feel it coming on-- a little kung fu.

I am gonna karate chop this guy in the face.

Chuck: No, no, no, no. No, no.

Do not do that. You're gonna zoom too soon.

Morgan: Premature zoom? Really? Crap!

Okay, okay, what do I do?

Chuck: Think about baseball.

Morgan: Baseball.

Why baseball? I mean, come on. It is so boring.

I mean, just pitch the damn ball already!

And enough talk with the statistics!

Chuck, do you know what a slugging percentage is?

'Cause I don't know what a slugging percentage is, all right? And honestly, who the hell cares? !

(sighs)

All right, that worked. Thank you, buddy.

Thank you. I'm good.

Bale: Perhaps I can show you around the gardens outside.

They are modeled after the pleasure gardens of Italy.

Sarah: Well, the pleasure would be all mine.

Bale (whispers): You're a good girl.

What a slime bag.

Mm.

Chuck: Excellent work, everybody.

Casey is on his way to the computer vault.

Morgan, Sarah, distraction time.

Morgan: All righty, Chuck. Am I up?

Chuck: Oh, you are up, buddy. Zoom away.

(sighs)

Morgan: I like that.

(dance music playing)

Sarah?

Let me show you how it's done.

♪ ♪

(beep)

Sarah: Nice work, Morgan.

(computer chirps)

(trilling)

We're in.

Casey: Bingo.

Chuck; Now, once all the accounts are downloaded, we can reroute them to the original investors.

(breaker clacks)

Chuck: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What's happening?

(static, beep)

Decker.

Decker; Hello, Chuck.

Chuck; What are you doing?

Decker: I'm using your computer to access Bale's accounts and freeze them.

Chuck: No. No, no, no, no, no.

You're gonna trigger the alarm. My people are still inside.

Decker: Yo people?

Cute.

(music playing, applause and cheering)

(applause, cheering and whooping)

Chuck: Listen, I know you lied to me, I know I'm not part of your bigger plan, whatever the hell that is, okay?

You've won. Now let us go.

Decker: Payback's a bitch, Charlie.

Chuck: No... Guys, guys, get out of there!

Bale: Mr. Carmichael?

Darling, I know what you did with my key card.

Come with me now, or I will k*ll you in front of all of my friends.

Morgan: Uh-uh. I think actually what's gonna happen is, I'm gonna open up a big can of--

Come with us.

Sarah: What?

Stark: Come with me, Colonel. Oh, I'm sorry.

You used to be a colonel.

Chuck: Morgan, Sarah, Casey, please, tell me what's happening.

(computer trilling)

(trilling)

Bale: I'm locked out of the accounts! What have you done?

Sarah: Do anything to us, and you'll never have access to those accounts ever again.

You see, we work with somebody.

A master spy who always has a plan.

Chuck: Okay. Okay, this isn't good.

No plan, no plan.

The master spy does not have a plan.

Bale: Uh, I don't want to hear her voice anymore.

Take 'em all downstairs. I'll decide what to do with them later.

I need you to get somebody from our computer team on the phone right now!

Man: Yes, sir.

Chuck; I think I have a plan.

Computer emergency?

Bale: What's wrong with it?

Chuck: An outside computer is accessing your system.

You're under att*ck.

Don't worry. I cut into the att*ck, and your accounts are still here.

Bale: Is it fixed?

Chuck: Yeppers.

Bale: Get rid of him.

Chuck: Huh? Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's happening? I'm just the IT guy.

Bale: You saw some things you weren't supposed to see.

And I don't like your face. k*ll him.

Then the others.

Chuck: I'd think twice about that, Bale!

I pull these wires, your firewall goes down, and the CIA is inside of you in seconds.

Your computer.

Inside of your computer in seconds.

Bale: Who are you?

Chuck: Carmichael.

Charles Carmichael.

Bale; I have your brother Michael.

Chuck: I know, and you're gonna let him and the others go.

I so much as sneeze, and, well, you lose all your money.

Oh! (laughs)

Oops. That was about ten million bucks right there, Rog.

Let 'em go.

Sarah: What the hell is going on?

You're free to go.

Sarah; Hey, Chuck? Chuck, can you hear me? Where are you?

Chuck:,Sarah, you outside?

Sarah: Yeah.

They let us go. Are you still inside?

Chuck; Don't worry about me. Just go.

No, I'm-I'm not going anywhere.

Chuck; Sarah, you, Casey and Morgan, get in the van and leave right now.

Morgan: Did I do great?

Casey: Shut up, moron.

Sarah: Chuck, I am not leaving my husband on a mission.

Chuck:,Sarah... Sarah, I'm sorry.

I wanted to buy you the house.

I wanted to give you the future that you've always dreamed of.

But more than that, I want you to live.

Come on. What?

Don't make me die in vain.

Leave me behind.

Get in the van.

Leave. Leave me behind!

Sarah: Casey, we can't just leave him behind like that.

Chuck:,Please, leave!

Guys, please don't leave me behind! I have a plan.

Bale: Your friends are safe, but you're stuck here.

What were you thinking?

Chuck: Actually, I was thinking fast.

Listen, there's-there's a button on the control panel.

Hit that button.

I just hope they got my message.

(whirring, powering down)

(alarms sounding)

Morgan, disconnect us from the building's electrical line.

Casey, get the van moving.

Sarah, there's a rather large window on the east side of the building.

It's the only way out... so I'm going to be jumping through it.

Sarah: Casey, east side of the building-- go, go, go, go!

(alarms sounding)

(tires squealing)

(engine revving)

Chuck: And Sarah, no matter what happens,

I love you.

(tires squeal)

Ow! Ooh!

Chuck: Also, if at all possible, if you could check to make sure I'm still alive on the roof of the van, that would be great.

Sarah: Good work, Chuck!

Chuck: Thanks, honey.

Morgan: Hey, dude, that was awesome!

Chuck: Listen, guys, team, let's-let's... let's not get down, okay?

Yes, that was not a classically successful mission, but, you know, we all made it out alive, uh, so-so, that-that's a plus.

And the news says that Bale was arrested, so, I think we should put that in the win category.

Win, uh, win with an asterisk maybe.

(clears throat)

Sarah: It's not that, Chuck.

Chuck: Well, okay, what is it then?

Casey:,Decker froze Bale's accounts, which included the money we transferred in.

Castle and the Buy More are the only things that aren't frozen.

Sarah: Decker froze all of our money because he tracked our deposit back to us.

Chuck: Wait.

Wait. What?

All of our... all of our money?

We have nothing?

Casey: Payback's a bitch.

Morgan: Okay, think about it.

We still have the Buy More, and-and we still have me.

And, uh, Sarah and Casey, you.

This is still a team. We can still do this.

Chuck: I think I, uh... I think I need a little air.

Sarah: Chuck...

Chuck...

Listen, it's okay. We'll bounce back. We always do.

Chuck: Yeah.

I got to... uh...

I'll be back.

(car door opens)

Sarah: Chuck, you found it.

What's the matter?

Chuck: I can't afford it.

If I bought it yesterday with our fortune, we'd own it, but now...

(sighs)

I'm so sorry, Sarah.

Sarah: Well, so what?

I mean, we knew this wasn't gonna be easy, and we didn't get married because we thought life was easy.

We got married so that we could be there for each other when things got tough.

So we could work through things together, rich or poor.

Chuck: But how are we going to do this? I mean, we got to start over.

Sarah: It's okay. We'll get new clients and new missions.

And we haven't lost everything.

We still have Castle and the store.

Chuck: The Buy More.

Sarah: The Buy More.

Chuck: The Buy More.

We use the store to support the spy team.

We take Buy Mores' profits, put them into Carmichael Industries until both companies can make money.

But in order for that to work, the store actually has to turn a profit.

Sarah: We can do that.

Chuck: We can do that.

What about me, though?

You and Casey are super spies.

Morgan's the Intersect.

Who am I? What's my job?

Sarah: Chuck, you're our leader.

(camera shutter clicking)

Decker: That's the plan.

(computer chirps)

As you can see, our superiors' interference in Chuck Bartowski's life has only just begun.

Now you understand how important he is.

And why he must fail.

You all have your orders.

This is the plan.

Its final chapter.

Nothing can stop it.
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