01x03 - Takes One to Know One

All episode transcripts for this TV show. Aired January - April 2015.*
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Cases of a abrasive police detective who runs a quirky special crimes unit in Portland. Based on the Swedish book series by Leif G. W. Persson.
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01x03 - Takes One to Know One

Post by bunniefuu »

You say you're having nightmares and cannot sleep.

What would they do in India?

Dip me in the Ganges?

You understand that nightmares and insomnia are mutually exclusive?

You must pick one or the other.

Which one gets me a prescription?

Why can't you simply tell me the truth?

You know, anxiety arises from falsehoods, sleep issues arise from anxiety. [Sighs]

Okay. Deb, come on.

Write me a prescription for sleeping pills.

No. You know what?

Give me the good stuff... the stuff that k*lled Michael Jackson.

I want you to write me up every lie you tell in this notebook.

Do that, and I'll consider a prescription.

My sleeping rhythms have been thrown off 'cause I quit drinking.

For that to be true, you would need to stop drinking.

Mark that down... your first lie.

So, you are bribing me with dr*gs to not lie in my journal of lies?

Consider how sad it is that this is necessary.

Is the lieutenant not in yet?

Lieutenant had his physical this morning.

Oh, that's gonna make for cranky pants.

Whoa, whoa. Cut the man some slack.

He's not sleeping.

I offered him teas and some relaxation exercises.

He pulled his g*n on me. [Chuckles] Seriously.

Nadia: Well, I know I'm only a civilian and not official police like you, but it's obvious to me that what Backstrom needs is a lover.

Moto: Great news, guys!

There's a dead body down at the Eddie church.

That's not great news, Moto.

Yeah, weery time Moto finds out about a m*rder, he wants us to solve it.

If we do catch this m*rder, it is a very good sign.

Okay, obviously I wouldn't wish a violent death on anyone, but if someone is going to get m*rder*d, then it might as well come to us.

[Telephone ringing]

Almond. Special Crimes.

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you.

Moto, find the lieutenant, bring him to the crime scene.

We just got the cult case, kids.

Moto: Yes!

Gravely: Whoo!

[Chuckles]

Lord! [Siren chirps]

Remember me and visit me!

Take vengeance for me on my persecutors!

Oh, woe to you!

How long before you will be made clean?

God will punish you for your inequity!

[Indistinct talking]

[Sighs]

How old?

She turned 21 three days ago.

She looks even younger because in death, the human...

Oh, God.

Emma Germain. She's a youth pastor.

She was stabbed six times in the chest with a Kn*fe between midnight and 4:00 a.m.

Good morning, lieutenant.

You look like hell.

I didn't get much sleep last night.

Who's this? Grand poo-bah of the cult?

We're not a cult.

[Grunts] There's no difference between a cult and a religion.

Both are, uh, fairy-tale crap fabricated to separate fools from their money.

Mr. Mundy, this is Lieutenant Backstrom.

He's the head of the Special Crimes unit.

Special Crimes. This isn't a homicide?

We cover high-profile, high-priority investigations, Mr. Mundy.

The S.C.U. is a dedicated unit. We only cover one investigation at a time.

Lieutenant, there are plenty of differences between cults and religions.

[Groans]

One being, religions are non-profit.

Yeah? So what's the scoop on the pope's palace?

[Sighs]

I'm gonna check for forced entry.

The lady outside fire-and-brimstoning, she with you?

No, that's a fundamentalist from the Holy Witness church.

They hate us.

Mm-hmm. And what's the deal with sex in your non-cult?

We believe that the purpose in life is self-realization.

In that context, the human brain is not able to handle the ramifications of an intimate sexual relationship before the age of 21. [Groans]

The victim just turned 21.

Could be a sex crime.

Hey, lieutenant...

Got something in the victim's throat.

Oh.

It's a ribbon that reads "I am loyal."

Okay. I'm gonna go question the burn-in-hell lady.

You talk to the cult's security guard, who's gonna jerk you around.

We are not a cult.

Church, tabernacle, mosque, temple... it all boils down to keeping secrets.

Cult or no cult, pretty woman gets stabbed, I hate secrets.

This is the only way in or out except for the emergency exits, which are alarmed and monitored both here and by another agency.

Okay, I'm gonna need to see the security footage.

I'm fourth level.

I don't... that means that I have fully potentialized both my alertness and recall.

For instance, Emma left at 6:00, came back at 8:00-ish, never left again.

Mr. Mundy and his advisory council were the last to leave, just before 10:00, after their usual Tuesday-night meeting.

First person back this morning was Mr. Mundy at 7:00 a.m.

He found Emma.

So, Emma was alone in the building when she was m*rder*d?

You who are fearful, unbelieving murderers!

This is why I hate spirituality... it's insane.

Christianity's about forgiveness.

She's not representative.

How do we get her to stop yelling?

Reject those...

sh**t her?

You do it. I sh*t somebody last week.

Whoremongers!

Sorcerers! Idolaters!

Unbelieving...

Ma'am?

Liars!

Elijah went into a cave, and the word of the lord came to him a gentle whisper.

That's good.

Do you recognize this young lady?

That's Emma.

She's a member of this evil and satanic cult.

Sometimes, she brings me tea.

And why is that satanic?

Like you, she would silence the word of God.

You who are detestable...

Ma'am!

Emma Germain was m*rder*d.

I'm a church lady so twisted, she wants everyone to burn in hell for all eternity.

Why all the hate?

Husband cheated on me?

Child k*lled by a drunk driver?

This is my little girl.

Brain-dead from anesthesia.

That's worse than dead.

I'm sorry for your tribulation, ma'am.

The lord will have his revenge.

There will come a day of terrible retribution.

Especially if you keep yelling at Satan's evil cult building.

All day, all night. No food, no water, no rest.

Miraculous.

Congratulations.

Except there is no God or miracles.

It is a miracle, and I can prove it.

You put yourself on camera?

Otherwise, the cultists could falsely accuse me of trespassing.

And, no, you can't have it.

Ma'am, we can get a warrant, or you can console yourself with the possibility that by viewing your holy works, that sinner will find his way to the lord.

And we are very sorry for your grievous loss.

Oh, screw it.

By the power vested in me by the state of Oregon...

I'm confiscating this evidence.

Hey! Hey, you come back here with that!

Get back here! [Engine turns over]

Give me that tape!

Backstrom: No.

You can't... [Chuckles]

S01E03
"Takes One to Know One"

[Indistinct conversations]

Lieutenant, this is Amy Gazanian.

She is...

My fiance.

Okay, not where I was going.

We split a decade ago. It's time to stop with the "fiance."

And why are you not in Salem protecting battered women from the men they annoy?

Uh, well, that was three careers ago.

I'm here for my new job.

Chief Cervantes appointed Ms. Gazanian the head of the civilian oversight committee.

Oh.

I'm a crusading do-gooder who failed to castrate one cop, so now I get a job neutering all cops.

Well, I guess that makes me an alcoholic mess of a man who avoids h demons by hunting down worse people. [Laughs]

Don't pull that "I'm you" mojo on me. I helped invent it.

Backstrom's obsessed that there's a bad guy out there laughing at him...

"I outsmarted Everett Backstrom!"

You try and outsmart me, you end up in jail.

You know that's a fact.

Go... sort evidence.

Right. 'Cause that's my main job.

Detective Nicole Gravely. First in her training class, youngest Detective Sergeant in the bureau's history... male or female... two commendation medals, one achievement medal...

So? She looks like a teenager.

And a police star. [Scoffs]

I hope you can learn how Everett does what he does without getting sucked into his bottomless pit of despair.

Oh, I like her.

She's the enemy, Gravely.

Don't get lured in by her silver tongue. [Chuckles]

[Sighs]

It's good to see you again.

You too.

I'd ask how you are, except I can see.

I'm not sleeping well.

[Laughs] Oh, that is not sleep... it's passing out.

And you don't get to nag me anymore. You left.

Yeah, 'cause I got tired of nagging.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

Heads up for old times' sake... there are inconsistencies in your officer-involved sh**ting.

How? It's simple... a very bad man sh*t Gravely, then he sh*t me, then I sh*t him.

The sh**ting board said I'm a hero.

Cops investigating cops and making them heroes is why chief Cervantes formed civilian oversight.

God, it really is good to see you.

Gravely: She likes you.

She just kissed you on your gross, sweaty, hairy cheek.

That's not gonna stop her from getting me fired or thrown in jail.

I'm a drunk who lost the love of a good woman because I couldn't put down the bottle till it was empty.

I'm sorry.

It was 10 years ago.

Nobody loves anybody for that long.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

And the Eddies' main tenet is, "I am the center."

Also known as being selfish.

They do good... childhood literacy programs, anti-poverty outreach, addiction programs, community health...

Mnh-mnh.

Nadia: That's all public relations.

Thank you.

Did anyone else know that Backstrom used to be engaged to a fantastic woman?

You mean Amy Gazanian.

Yeah, the head of civilian oversight.

Mm-hmm. Big critic of the bureau for years.

Mm. Sent more than one cop to early retirement.

Anyone who didn't deserve it?

Guys, she's smart and she's beautiful and she was engaged to Backstrom.

Is anyone else's mind boggled?

He has sex appeal... little boy lost, little bit dirty.

Okay, you are so not American.

Oh, thank you.

Never ceases to amaze me, the generosity of women.

The lieutenant needs a lift back to the cult to look for secrets, and I want to check for clues outside the crime lab forensic parameters.

My opinion, the crime lab cast its net too close to the boat.

Mm, Niedermayer's futile quest to make Backstrom appreciate forensics.

[Lighter clicks]

[Lighter clicking]

[Door opens]

Nadia: So, by cross-referencing entrances and exits with the guard's log books, we...

What?

What... what log books?

He's a level four with perfect recall.

He's a lying fake.

I found his cheat sheets, and I swiped them.

"Swiped them" didn't include a warrant, did it?

I go looking for a match, I end up with evidence.

It's called genius.

So, 12:07 a.m.

The only person who could have m*rder*d Emma Germain...

"V.C."

Vincent Cropper.

V.C.

A long-time Eddie, a private investigator.

Gotcha.

Have you been here all night?

Uh... Good morning.

I had to take gravimetric moisture measurements every 20 minutes.

Emma Germain enjoyed a cup of tea shortly before she d*ed.

A second, equally moist tea bag suggests there was a second party.

This mug was found on Emma's desk with the tea still in it.

This mug...

Was found cleaned and in the drying rack.

Okay, so, Emma has tea with Vince Cropper, he takes her into the basilica, he stabs her, he returns to her office, recovers his mug, and washes it.

Private investigator would know better than to leave prints, right?

Okay.

Backstrom: [Muttering]

No.

No.

Valentine: Hey.

[Grunts]

Ow!

Why'd you hit me?

Human nature. You hit me first.

No slapping the landlord. House rules.

Just raised your rent by 20 bucks a month.

[Cellphone ringing]

[Beep]

What?

Gravely: How did you and Amy ever meet?

Backstrom: She was a crime reporter, I was in homicide.

We met over corpses.

Quit being so amazed like I'm Stephen Hawking dating an acrobat.

That's him. That's Vincent Cropper.

Oh, he's scary. Call Moto.

We don't need Moto. We have g*ns.

Mr. Cropper, I'm Detective Nicole Gravely.

We need to ask you a couple of questions.

We compared footage of everyone who came and went in the 24 hours before and after Emma's death to the security guard's log book.

Henry doesn't use logs.

He's a level four... perfect recall.

Even a level four needs a cheat sheet.

He writes the initials V.C. at the exact times you came and went.

"V.C., 12:07 a.m."

Ooh, that looks bad.

Looks even worse for you.

One, you can't prove that you got those log books from the church.

Two, if you did, you didn't have a warrant.

Three, Henry will deny that they're his.

Four, you can't prove that I'm V.C.

And five, we're officially requesting that the chief of police remove you from Emma's homicide.

She deserves much better.

Excuse me.

Okay. Okay.

Well, we just got our asses handed to us.

And you stood there like a lump.

Disappointing.

Nadia: Detective Gravely, I have Mr. Vincent Cropper's financial records.

Tell me you got a warrant for those.

Oh, Lieutenant Backstrom told me not to bother with that hooey.

So, Cropper edified himself from P.I. to lawyer and is paid a fat retainer to deal with nuisance suits, but three days ago, he received $10,000 from a shell company.

A secret slush fund for a cult.

I cannot prove that.

Good job, Paquet.

Oh, you don't get a "good job" from me when you ignore legal hooey.

Think it's time for me to pay my respects.

Lieutenant!

It's a stark reminder that Emma Germain was the best of us, and she was stabbed to death here, where I'm standing.

Death is not to be feared.

It's just a doorway to another room.

But who amongst us isn't sad... [Camera shutter clicks] when a loved one leaves the room?

I am...

Congregation: The center.

[Camera shutter clicks] Mundy: Lieutenant Backstrom...

I'm sure you can understand that this is our private way to mourn the loss of Emma Germain.

Yeah, I understand.

I get it. My condolences.

I got nothing against you or your church.

Believing you're the center of the universe is no crazier than worshipping a carpenter or cows.

But someone in this room k*lled Emma Germain.

How do we know this?

Money was funneled through a secret, off-shore account owned by this cult to a known contract k*ller.

That makes this a conspiracy.

Cults and conspiracies go together kind of like vodka and vermouth.

So, uh, if I were you, I would come to me with what you know rather than having me come after you... with handcuffs!

[Congregation murmurs]

If it was up to me, I'd arrest you all and turn this place into a roller rink.

And that's not discrimination, 'cause I'd do the same thing to the sistine chapel.

I am... the walrus!

Gravely: God, can you imagine having to process the violent death of your own child?

"A," "process" is an unnecessary word, like "hydrate."

"B," if she's such a great mother, why did her daughter run away to join a cult?

I'll have someone take you to the morgue.

She hadn't seen her daughter in over five years, but she says that Emma was calling her regularly the last few weeks, hanging up and not saying anything.

If she wasn't saying anything, how does she know it was her daughter?

She's a mother. She knows.

Oh, mystic mother power, huh?

What say the three of us put our heads together for a minute or two?

Gravely: Right behind you, chief.

Cervantes: You told the Eddies that you had evidence of a payment to a hit man?

You appointed my fiance to the head of the civilian oversight committee?

We do, chief, but it's from a series of untraceable, off-shore holding companies.

You were my partner when I dumped Amy.

Now you've handed her my testiculars to hit with a gavel!

The notebooks are non-admissible, so find a legal way to time-stamp the camera footage.

Assuming you got that legally.

That's a gray area on the camera footage, chief.

But I did give us Vince Cropper. You're welcome.

Amy's gonna use the civilian board to reform me.

It's a conflict of interest.

Would you shut up about Amy?

She cares about you more than any other person on the planet.

[Knock on window]

Cult leader wife Darlene Mundy wishes to confide in you, but she won't come in or meet at her home or at the Eddie place.

You're welcome again.

My name is Darlene Mundy.

I'm 38 years old.

I've been married to Leon Mundy, founder of the church of edification, for 14 years.

We have no children.

She's talking like a contestant on "Jeopardy!"

Well, I assume you are recording me.

I was the one who paid Vince $10,000, but not to k*ll Emma.

Was it for interior design?

I engaged Vince to find out if my husband had resumed his affair with Emma.

Please don't turn our church into a roller rink.

Your husband was having an affair with the victim?

Why else be a cult leadeexcept to pluck the low-hanging fruit?

I said "pluck."

Pluck.

Look, Vince called me from the church to say that Leon was not there but Emma was.

Vince is a level 12.

He would never lie to a level 20.

Niedermayer's a know-it-all about all that creepy cult stuff, right?

My affair with Emma ended long ago.

It was addressed through edification protocols.

Addressed how?

"I'm sorry about my penis"?

There are church mysteries to which the unenlightened are not privy.

[Sighs]

Eddies are divided into six-member groups called semesters, which provide forums in which to confess transgressions, assign penance, and make amends.

I get it...

Eddies huddle together in clusters and spill their dirty secrets.

What's this?

Every Eddie is required to purchase a gold frame in which to feature an image representing their heart's desires.

So, your heart's desire is to have superhero powers from cosmic rays?

The rays represent edification.

Well, then edify us on who was in Emma's cluster.

Semester. Is that pertinent?

Dirty secrets and m*rder sort of go together.

Like cults and profit.

There are issues of confidentiality.

Eh. We'll get a warrant.

We will argue our constitutional rights to worship.

Headline... "secretive cult refuses to cooperate in m*rder investigation."

That ought to help you get your official tax-free status.

[Chuckles]

I will notify Emma's semester of your request.

They will decide whether or not to contact you.

Backstrom: What's this?

It's a map of the victim's internet interactions.

I attempted to discover the members of her semester, but without at least one more member, it is impossible.

Even for me.

[Chuckling] Tag, you're on it.

It's just "tag, you're it."

[Clears throat] This is Ryan Durst.

He wants to spend a semester studying us.

Um... No, that's not even close to correct.

Were you a member of Emma Germain's cluster?

Semester. And we've decided not to reveal our identities.

Paquet!

Why'd the cluster send a kid?

I'm the youngest eighth level in the church, sir.

Eighth level.

That's about $10,000 per level, right?

Where'd you come up with that kind of dough?

The church provides generous student loans.

Oh, how thoughtful.

This is Ryan Durst.

He looks like a robot, but he's an Eddie boy from Emma Germain's cluster.

Semester.

Semester.

Ryan Durst.

Got it. I'll have the rest in an hour.

You'll have the rest of at?

[Sighs] Thank you for your cooperation, Ryan.

This meeting's over.
Nadia: Sorry to interrupt your nap.

I was meditating.

Did you figure out the cluster?

Mm-hmm.

Our dead end is now a living end.

Here is the list of the members of Emma Germain's semester.

Totally illegal, so no "good job" for me from Gravely.

Hold on a second, there, Madame Ovary.

Do you believe in God?

I believe in belief. don't you?

I believe you should come over here and help me believe in heaven on earth.

Mm.

Your old squeeze comes by, gets your juices fired up.

I'm not a substitute.

[Sighs]

But otherwise?

The moment's passed.

We'll never know.

Look, we demand to know how you found out the members of our semester.

You blabbered everything when you were here this morning.

Mr. Stan Park, youth pastor.

Ryan's level eight. He would never betray the church.

Who here was sleeping with Emma Germain?

It certainly wasn't me.

The way you're checking out my full Backstrom package, you joined this cult to cure gayness.

I'm you, trying to show no emotion about Emma's death to prove to someone that I'm glad she's dead.

What's he doing? What do I do?

Share nothing with the unenlightened.

That's what you do.

Can it, Granny.

Park: Craig had feelings for Emma, but we dealt with them in the semester.

That makes Craig our prime suspect.

Marissa: Hilary's right... we shouldn't say anything.

Oh, Chubbo steps up to defend him.

Why?

Easy.

Emma gets your juices all fired up, but Chubbo here's the nearest substitute.

Park: Craig?

You and Marissa?

Craig...

You should have brought that up in the semester!

That explains the stone face... prove I have no love for Emma while I'm shagging Chubbo.

It was a weird mistake. It didn't mean anything.

Backstrom: "A weird mistake."

You shouted out Emma's name instead of hers while you were knocking on heaven's gate.

Uh-oh.

We got a runner.

Hey. Hey.

Running makes it look like you k*lled Emma out of jealousy.

Craig only did that because we were in her office.

You had sex in Emma's office?

She has a couch.

And a lock.

And handi wipes.

[Door opens]

Gravely: Girl and her boyfriend have been meeting up in Emma's office in the church for secret sexual liaisons.

And they got in by promising the security guard that he could watch.

No!

Always to the dark place. The kid knows a secret way in.

Have Moto arrest Romeo.

For m*rder?

Trespassing.

Okay, that's not really in the book.

Well, it's in the Backstrom book.

You can trust me.

[Groans] Damn it.

Go.

This is like 99% caffeine, and you want to know why you can't sleep.

Backstrom: [Sighs]

I'm starting to think maybe you don't want to sleep.

These nightmares are really getting to you, aren't they?

[Sniffs]

Here.

It's a super-illegal horse tranquilizer from Holland.

Put you down where even nightmares can't get to you.

Just take... [Swallows] half.

[Echoing] Call, call, call, call.

Call, call, call, call.

Call...

[sighs]

Yeah?

Hey.

[Groans]

Moto arrested the kid.

[Mutters]

Pick us up. Bring the kid.

[Cellphone beeps]

Aah!

So, what'd the kid do?

Trespassing, having sex in a church, and m*rder.

[Chuckles]

I like you.

[Speaking incoherently]

Yeah, I didn't get none of that.

That's why I'm here.

He says if the kid gets you past the guards, you'll drop the trespass charges.

Okay, yeah.

But there's a problem.

Good thing I'm a problem solver.

[Groans]

Craig: Do you have a religion?

Moto: I go to church on Christmas, I pray when I'm scared, and I love the blazers.

That's enough religion for a grown-ass man.

I'm not fitting in there.

That's the problem.

[Sighs]

Good God.

[Grunts]

You really went through all this just to have sex?

And with a girl?

Yeah.

What's the matter with you? You never heard of cars, alleys, parks, garden sheds, rec rooms, broom closets, teepee, campers, cemeteries, attics, basements, locker rooms, bouncy castle... those are fun.

Elevators, if you're quick, which I assume you would be.

[Inhales sharply]

Welcome back, lieutenant.

We just helped two civilians break into private property, so it's going great.

Valentine: Rowboats, gazebos...

[Clears throat] Here we are.

Emma's office.

All right, kid, you know everything you're doing makes you look guilty, right?

I'm not a k*ller.

I'm a... I'm a lover.

[Chuckles]

Well, in that case, you're gonna need what the cops call an alternative narrative... someone else who knows the way in.

It was Ryan.

Ryan was the one who showed me how to get in.

Go.

So, Ryan Durst showed you the way in?

He sneaks in to practice preaching in the basilica.

Makes me watch.

How are you even conscious right now?

I have the constitution of a lion.

[Grunts]

[Clears throat]

[Grunts]

[Sighs]

Okay, interrogations are recorded, so do not mention unnamed civilians breaking into theoretical locations.

I'll tell them he came to me in a dream.

This is better.

[sighs]

[Flatly] "Fingerprints and moisture gravimetrics tell us "you had tea with Emma Germain shortly before her death.

"Knowing you didn't go in the front door, and using... our powers of deduction..."

Really?

"...we found your entry point, a small grate on the northeast side of the church."


Backstrom is using forensics.

Sounds totally natural, too.

Why didn't you go in the front door?

Normal kid, I would say it was sexual,
but no way you're breaking cult rules to do something normal.

That was a private counseling session.

I'm you. I'm an eighth-level super Eddie.

What do I need counseling for?

I don't.

Emma was the one who was seeking out advice.

I raised Ryan to be good.

You didn't raise me at all.

Advice about what?

That's private.

Like the catholics and confession.

Confession.

I'm Emma.

I'm confessing something.

But what?

[Sighs]

That "evidence" was stolen by a civilian from the church.

Lots of the lieutenant's best evidence is stolen.

[Scoffs]

I'm Emma. I'm a good girl.

I just turned 21.

I evaluate my life.

I am... disillusioned.

I want to go home and see my mom.

That's what I confess to you.

I'm leaving the cult.

I'm going home to see my mother.

And you... s*ab me in the heart six times.

[Breathing heavily]

[Inhales deeply]

We'll find a w*apon or some blood on your clothes or something.

We got you.

Gigi: [Gasps]

We got a runner. [Chuckles]

Come here!

Gravely: Oof!

Niedermayer: I got him! I got him.

Stop!

Boy... [Breathing heavily] ...you done wrong, you got caught.

It's time for some truth.

Everybody loved Emma, but her disloyalty would have spread through the church like a disease.

Emma was a traitor, but I am a savior.

Backstrom: Now you get to share your message of hope with everybody on death row.

Moto.

[Handcuffs click]

Why aren't you smoking? You smoke when you gloat.

Why aren't you gloating?

I'm not gloating 'cause someone out there's laughing at me.

Your father?

No, Gravely.

Not my father, just... a bad guy.

Don't listen to Niedermayer or Amy about any of that psychological daddy crap.

What bad guy?

We got the k*ller. The kid was boasting about it.

The Eddies... they're all about realizing your personal potential.

I am the center.

Selfish, like Almond said.

Sacrificing yourself for the greater good isn't partf the deal.

Exactly.

So, I'm a robot.

What makes me violate the prime directive?

Okay.

Geek stuff, I can do this. I have brothers.

Um...

Glitch in the system...

Bad programming?

That's good, Gravely. The kid was programmed.

But by who?

I'm you, a cult leader who seduces a true believer.

Now, for me, it's not that big a deal, but for her...

She feels a deep, spiritual connection.

"I'll always be there for you, Emma."

Such cynicism must be soul-crushing.

How can you live thinking that there's no grand purpose, that... that our lives are meaningless, and that after we die, there is nothing?

How can I live? I'm a man.

I don't need fairy tales and science fiction.

Emma wanted to go home, see her mom, and you said no.

But she's 21.

She has her own mind now.

I'm you.

Emma leaves, everyone will think we started sleeping together again.

All those kids walking out on those student loans.

I'm too big to fail, so I whisper in the ear of my creepiest follower...

"Emma will infect us all."

We got your fingerprints on the tea mug.

[Laughs]

No, you don't.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a sermon to prepare for tomorrow.

Everyone is welcome.

You went too far lying about the fingerprints.

No way that he knows that we don't have the fingerprints because he wiped the mug clean.

I mean, he might as well have confessed.

Except with a confession, the guy usually goes to jail.

Yeah. Well...

That's my fault, John.

And how is that your fault?

Backstrom's job is to solve the crime, it is my job to make sure that he does so in a way that can hold up in court.

That's a horrible job.

And I am gonna get really good at it.

[Door opens, closes]

[Footsteps approach]

Amy: [Scoffs]

Still living in the bilges of an oId river barge?

You used to think it was cool.

Old times.

I got to say, you really spruced it up.

Some of this stuff is actually really nice.

I have a q*eer tenant.

So, did you come by to reward me for catching the k*ller?

Hmm? Spending the night?

Old times?

Oh, Everett, like you told the chief, it's a conflict of interest.

Oh, you and Cervantes have been talking about me, huh?

Is there a threesome in the wind?

[Scoffs]

Everett... you've been served.

Oh, come on.

So, what exactly do you think that I did wrong?

I mean, in the visser sh**ting, not in our breakup, in which I had absolutely no fault at all.

Forensic analysis suggests that you sh*t yourself after you sh*t visser.

Forensics always gets it wrong.

Oh, save it for the committee.

I'm you...

Everett, don't do that.

Please, let's just talk to each other.

[Sighs]

You always said I shouldn't be a cop.

Mm-hmm.

Too sensitive.

In your heart, you're an artist.

In my life, I'm a cop, and I'm a wicked good one.

And your new job, you're gonna use this to turn me into what?

Into a-a poet? A Potter?

Everett, sweetie, that's the twisted way you think... you can't get somebody one way, you sidle around and get them another way.

That's your tactic, not mine.

You're right.

Thats my tactic.

[Chuckles]

[Door slams]

Did you come up with a reason to arrest Mundy for soliciting m*rder?

No.

Then why did you call me in here at 2:00 in the morning?

'Cause I can't read piquet's hot mess.

Then why didn't you call her?

[Grunts]

I need to know how old Emma Germain was when she started her affair with Mundy.

Six years ago.

How old was Emma Germain six years ago?

[Gasps] [Chuckles]

You can't get someone one way, you sidle around and you get them another.

Tactics, Gravely, from the Backstrom playbook.

Statutory r*pe.

What is the cruelest possible way that we can do this?

I am the center.

There's a reason for these banners, and there's a reason why all of our tenets... [Door opens]

Gravely: Portland Police.

You are under arrest for statutory r*pe.

You have the right to remain silent.

Everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

♪ You became one of the lonely ♪

[Congregation murmuring]

♪ When all your heroes turned to dust ♪
♪ Stirring up ghosts of courage, baby, ♪ they seem so far away ♪
♪ You pick up the pieces, and you move along ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

This is a lot of lies. No wonder you can't sleep.

No disrespect intended, Dr. Deb, but Backstrom's sleep problems have nothing to do with telling lies.

Why are you here?

Me?

'Cause I'm sick of being woken up by screaming in the middle of the night.

Fix him.

In your opinion, what is causing Backstrom's sleep troubles?

Lack of dr*gs.

He recently k*lled a man by sh**ting him in the throat, and now his ex-fiance is head of the civilian oversight committee.

It was my understanding the sh**ting was justified.

He's not gonna help you until you level with him.

And you might as well... you're totally protected by doctor/patient privilege.

Go.

The sh**ting was not justified?

[Sighs]

He was gonna k*ll me.

If he had gotten his g*n...

He didn't have his g*n?

We collided. The g*n went skittering.

If it hadn't, I'd be dead.

I told him to freeze, but...

I had no choice.

I don't even remember pulling the trigger.

Bang.

And he choked.

There was blood.

He fell in the river, I threw the g*n in after him.

So, who sh*t you?

Me.

[Sighs] I sh*t me...

Before I sh*t him... it was an accident.

You need to get some sleep.

[Pen scribbling]

Here's your prescription.

Thank you.

Detective Backstrom... we are more than meat.

We are spiritual creatures who need something larger than ourselves to believe in...

God, love, art.

All your difficulties spring from denying the fact that part of you is divine, the part of you that connects all of us.

Even you must feed your soul.

Speaking of meat, I have a craving for some short ribs.
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