01x06 - Ghost in Chains

[bunniefuu]

[Birds chirping]

Woman: Everything's cool.

Jesus.

Are you okay? Do you need some help or something?

Hi. How you doing?

Hi.

Would you mind helping me out of here, please?

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Do you want me to just lift this?

I can pull these and... okay.

Watch your face there.

Hi.

Did you do this to yourself?

Yeah. I did this all by myself.

Okay. Why? What are you doing?

Connecting with my death.

Where is my purse?

Okay.

[Chuckles] Linda.

Hi.

Hi.

[Sighs]

Hmm...

Well, um... have a good day and, um... take care.

♪ ♪

Hey, um...

Uh... I actually...

I could use some privacy, 'cause I need to record some sounds, and I need clean audio, and your footsteps are kind of...

Wow.

N-Not wow. I was asking you if I could have privacy.

You're like a ghost in chains.

A ghost in chains?

Yes.

Okay.

Hey. Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Not... Not appropriate.

Oh no, it's all right.

I really... I really...

It will only take a moment.

I really don't...

Just relax for just a moment.

Okay. Close your eyes.

Great.

You are a free spirit.

You have no body. You have no past.

You have no present. You have no future.

You have nowhere to go, and you got nothing to do.

That's all.

Okay.

Do you feel better?

You know what?

I feel a little better. I do.

Thank you for that.

I appreciate it.

Why are you lying?

Um... I'm not lying. I was just...

You said, yes, you felt better, but you don't, so you're lying. [laughs]

I... I wasn't lying. I just...

No, you were.

Just then you were lying to me.

You don't feel better, but you said so.

Why?

Really?

Yes.

[Stammers] Y-You wanna...

Okay, fine. Um...

You kind of freaked me out a little bit back there, and then you started following me, and so I had to tell you that lie to grease this situation here so...

Wait, to grease...

Yes.

A situation?

What, you don't tell lies?

No. No.

What... Okay.

So what happens, you know, what?

Am I just gonna, like, say everything I wanna say and do everything I wanna do?

And then...

Why not?

Because I have responsibilities, I have things to keep up, and I've made commitments to people...

So you lie. So that's good.

And, yeah, so I lie.

And that makes you happy.

No!

No, it doesn't make me happy.

No, it doesn't make me happy.

That's a ghost in chains.

So tomorrow night is gonna be a full moon, and I'm gonna go on a late-night moon walk if you would like to come.

Um...

That sounds great, but I have to work a double.

It's a 16-hour shift, so...

Okay. Well, working man, you do what you gotta do.

It was very nice to meet you.

Nice meeting you.

Hope I see you again.

Bye.

♪ ♪

Tina: Babe... [footsteps]

Quick question.

Does this top go with these jeans?

Um...

Hmm. Not bad.

Yeah?

Larry: Uh-huh.

Tucked in or out?

In.

Well, let me see. Turn around.

You know what?

First of all, the jeans look great on you.

Yeah? But they might even look better on the couch.

[Phone ringing]

It's a work call. I gotta take it.

[Ringing continues]

[baby talk]

Magic Castle, this is Tina.

Tina: Hey, Craig, how are you?

[Baby talk]

Wait, what happened?

Can you... do you mind me asking what happened?

You know, we were just about to offer a free perk package.

Uh, with a level one party plan, we're gonna throw in a free clown.

It's free.

Great. Fantastic.

So we'll see you next weekend then.

Okay, great. Bye.

[Mutters] f*ck.

♪ Too intelligent to be radical ♪
♪ Masterful never irrelevant, mathematical ♪
♪ Here's some soothing souvenirs for all the years ♪
♪ They fought and sought the thoughts and ideas ♪
♪ It's cool when you freak to the b*at ♪
♪ But don't sweat the technique ♪

[Phone ringing]

♪ Don't sweat ♪ [music stops]

Hey.

What's up, skinny?

Are you free next Saturday morning?

Uh, no, we're doing the party in Los Feliz, aren't we?

Tina: Yeah, yeah, we're doing it.

I just might need you to do more than set it up and break it down.

I might need to employ your special talents.

What do you mean, my talents?

You ever played a clown?

Alex: You're joking, right?

[Tina laughing]

You might want to practice up.

Uh-uh.

What do you mean, "Uh-uh"?

It means, no, I'm not doing that.

Come on, I'll pay you a lot more, and it'll be so fun.

No, Tina, I'm not gonna be a clown.

Okay, is this because of what happened when we were playing kick the can?

I thought we weren't gonna talk about that.

Okay, we don't have to talk about it, it's fine, but what is your deal? You've been really weird all week.

What's my deal? It's actually your deal.

What are you talking about?

Your deal is that you only call when you need something.

-That's not true.

Alex: Yeah?

When's the last time you called just to check in or to hang out?

We talk all the time. Alex...

You know what, I'm not gonna argue with you. I gotta go, bye.

Oh my... Did you just hang up on me?

Why is he so mad at me?

Tina, I mean, come on.

You kind of take advantage of him with the business, plus you cock-tease him.

If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have an income.

I'm the only business he's getting, and I am not a cock tease!

Okay, okay.

I don't cock tease him. Where are you getting that? Okay.

Don't get so defensive about it.

Well... I'm just saying, he clearly likes you.

He tried to kiss you. I don't know why you're acting like he doesn't.

That was a freak, drunk thing.

Those are his words.

He said, "That was a freak, drunk thing." Yeah, right.

Well, he would say that, 'cause he's embarrassed.

Well, what am I supposed to do with him?

He's so high-maintenance. He's like a girl.

You know what? I do think that you could be a little more careful with the people in your life who really matter to you.

What... What is this? Are you... You're mad at me too?

I'm not mad at you, but...

No, you can't just say that and then be like, [mockingly] "No, I'm not, I just"...

Okay, no, I'm not. "I'm saying that."

I don't feel like you prioritize me, and I don't feel like I'm that important to you.

Wow! Jesus Christ, people.

What do I have to do?

Tina, it's called being in a relationship.

I'm not in a relationship with Alex!

[Stammering] Do you want to be his friend? Do you want to be his friend?

Yes, but...

Yes? Okay.

So being someone's friend means that you're there for them, you look out for them, and you do nice things for them.

Hold on, let me just write this down.

Things like that.

What do you do?

Okay, you should.

[Phone chimes]

Tina: What?

Michelle: Uh... it's nothing.

I just forgot about a... charter school meeting.

Oh.

The charter school so you can go flirt with your boyfriend?

Nobody's flirting with anybody.

Stop it, okay?

Okay.

[Idle chattering]

Hey, Phil. Sorry I'm a little late.

Oh, let me guess.

He is still "parking."

Mmm, they said his day is a little up in the air.

The whole day is up in the air?

Why don't you, uh, load in some sounds and then farm out a few options to audition.

You know, I am way behind on Sophie's kindergarten applications.

Is it okay if I just do that stuff on the fly?

It... It's super easy.

No, the producers are in there, and they're gonna want to hear some options.

[Sighs]

They never use those things, okay?

I mean, honestly, do we have to go through this?

Got it.

Options.

[Distant barking]

♪ ♪

David?

Man: Yeah, they look pretty good.

I think they'll come out fine.

Man 2: Really?

Huh.

Hi. Sorry.

I'm Michelle. Is David here?

Yeah, he's around here somewhere.

[Clanging]

[clanging continues]

[grunts]

Hi.

Hi.

David: Wanna give me a hand?

Thanks.

Okay.

[Chuckles]

One more.

Yeah.

[Grunts, mumbles]

[clatters]

[chuckles]

Michelle: Okay, let's check it out.

[Banging] Oh no.

f*ck. [chuckles]

f*ck. [chuckles]

Oh my god.

[Breathing heavily] All right.

We moved so many chairs.

Do you know how to break down a door?

Honestly?

Yeah.

Yep.

Thanks.

I do the prying?

Yeah.

You do the jimmying?

I do the jimmying.

Okay.

Sorry.

It's all right.

Oh. sh*t.

Oh, you got something?

Mm-hmm.

[Creaking]

Oh. Oh. Yes.

[Both panting]

Okay.

David: All right.

You go first.

David: Oh my god!

What?

You're not gonna believe it.

What is it?

Check it out.

That's really funny.

It's incredible, isn't it?

It's so funny.

It's a really good closet.

It's a beautiful closet.

It's a beautiful closet. [laughs]

Michelle: I think it's great.

I think it's the perfect space.

Mm-hmm.

There's gonna be a public auction in about six weeks for this place.

So, you know, we gotta go to Access Sacramento next month and, uh... just lobby our case to them to get funding.

Okay. [chuckles]

We're gonna go to Access Sacramento?

Sure.

Okay.

You're part of the team now.

We'll take a road trip up there.

Yeah, that sounds like fun.

Well... it's not fun, but... [chuckles] it'll be worth it.

Hey.

Hi, I'm gonna take a quick shower.

Did your phone die? I called you about 800 times.

Uh, I was working out.

Tina: You look great.

Thanks.

Hey, so, um, I have some really good news.

Let me guess. Your toilet's clogged with a monster sh*t.

Tina: No.

Larry wants to give you a part in his movie.

What?

And it's a big role.

sh**t in New Orleans.

Umm... why?

What do you mean, "Why?" Because he likes you.

He hasn't even seen me act.

But he's confident you can do it just based on the... the times he's hung out with you.

Are you f*cking with me?

No! I'm serious.

The part is yours.

In a movie.

Wow, this is amazing.

Yeah.

Uh... when?

In two weeks.

Let me check my schedule. Um...

Yes!

Ah! [laughs] [laughing]

Oh my god! [laughing]

[shrieks]

Uh... The only thing we have to do is you have to go to the office and go on tape, in two hours.

W... Wait, what? I don't understand.

If he's giving me the role, why do I have to go on tape?

He just said it's just a formality.

As long as you don't sh*t the bed, it's yours.

Jesus, no pressure.

Okay, um...

Thank you.

Well, thank him when you see him.

[Crickets chirping] [clicks off]

How's that?

Um, interesting.

Maybe a little lower in the wind.

You got it.

[Whispers] Phil, can we just call this?

He's clearly not coming, it's almost dinner, and I'm starving...

Yo, yo, yo!

What is up with my mix posse?

There he is!

I'm gonna go take a sh*t. I'll be right back, we'll rock and roll.

Okay.

Let me know how everything comes out.

That's weird, man.

Are you f*cking kidding me? What about dinner?

We have to eat.

That's why you bring your vegan bars, right?

[Scoffs, mutters]

I can't even f*cking read this.

Am I reading for Chuck or Vlad?

I'm guessing he's the villain...

I-I don't know if I have to do a Russian accent.

I... Wait, wait. Go here.

Where? Right or left?

Here! Right! Right!

Tina: Stop yelling.

Alex: Jesus watch the curb!

Don't f*cking k*ll anyone!

Just don't tell me how to drive!

Oh my god.

Learn your lines.

I literally cannot read the words...

Are you out of your f*cking mind?

That are on that phone.

You put the phone in front of my face? I can't see.

Go!

Hi, I'm sorry I'm a little late.

I'm Alex Pappas.

Hi. Can you sign in for me, please?

Sure.

Uh, do you have SI?

Yep.

Sure. Here you go.

Thank you.

_

Uh, just one second.

What the f*ck, Tina?

What's the matter?

This character description literally says, "The chubby, funny best friend." Shh!

So what?

Why have I been working out?

Sacrificing, huh?

Why is there f*cking Mexican Rogaine in my hair... Shh.

That's probably shrinking my balls right now?

It's a part. I thought you wanted a part.

It's a part of someone that gets k*lled on page five for a f*cking laugh!

We're going for leading roles!

I thought that that was the plan!

You have to start somewhere.

Are you out of your f*cking mind?

[Groans]

I'm f*cking out of here.

Where the f*ck do you think you're going?

I'm f*cking out of here. Are you kidding? I did this.

I stuck my neck out for you.

You stuck your neck out for me? This is from Larry.

I asked. I set this up.

You set this up with Larry?

I asked him if there were any parts for you.

Why would you ask Larry for me to play a f*cking fat guy?

Because I thought, oh, that's all you can do.

You can only play fat losers.

No, you idiot.

I just asked him if he had a f*cking part, and he said he had this part, so I said, "Okay, let's do it."

Are you gonna f*cking sit here and whine about it, or are you gonna go do your job?

You know who's a f*cking loser?

You're the loser because you have no f*cking principles!

What? You're the one that f*cking motivated me from the beginning to aspire for something more in my life, and now I'm back where I started from.

[Door opens] Secretary: Alex Pappas?

Gonna stay on Brett's couch your whole life or are you gonna go try to make something for yourself?

Hi, I'm Alex Pappas.

I'm reading for the role of Vlad.

We thought you were reading for Chuck.

Nope, reading for the role of Vlad.

[Dramatic music playing] [woman shouts]

Oh, f*ck. Mmm.

That's great. [woman screams]

You can scream all you want!

Director: That effect is k*ller. Let's keep it.

[Music stops] Phil: Great.

We'll lock that, and... moving on.

Brett, if you would...

Brett, you wanna sit back down please?

Dude?

[Wrappers rustling]

Brett. Seriously?

Got less than an hour to go on this reel.

[Dish clattering]

Phil: Can it wait until then?

Phil: Brett.

Sit down... now.

I'm hungry, Phil.

We're all hungry.

We're all tired, but we're grownups.

No.

No.

I've been working here for 15 hours.

I'm like a f*cking caged animal that only gets thrown scraps.

I need a meal.

I need fresh air.

This is inhumane in here. I'm a ghost in chains!

[laughing]

She's right.

[laughing continues]

[Alex shouting, muffled]

You're gonna destroy me?

[Loud banging]

I'm gonna live forever!

[banging continues]

[shouting continues]

Whatever it is that you and I are doing, it's over.

I'm not doing your bidding anymore, so don't call me.

Just keep doing your superficial charade in Larry Land, 'cause I don't want any part of it.

[Tranquil music playing]

[hooting]

♪ ♪

[Upbeat music playing]

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

[Sighs] Hi.

Hello.

I made it. [laughs]

What? You want me to get in there?

I highly recommend it.

[Sighs] Um...

[stammers] I'm not comfortable with that, so...

Hmm, why not?

I...

I don't know, I...

I just had, like, a hard day at work... Right.

And I... I was excited about walking up here with you, so... Mm-hmm.

Can... I'd rather just put that away.

The thing is, Brett... what else is there?

I feel like you just want me to get in the hole, and you're saying deep stuff to get me in there, and I'm getting uncomfortable.

Mmm.

And I really spend a lot of time where people tell me what to do, a lot.

You know, "You should fake it till you make it," or, "Don't push your sounds on him," and... and... and, "Reign it in, Brett."

And now you're, like, telling me to get in the hole, I'm starting to get upset about it, and I don't want to get upset, so I have to say no. Okay?

I'm not letting you f*cking put some twigs on me and bury me in sh*t, because, um, I don't really know you, and I don't even f*cking know what you're gonna do to me when I get in the hole, if I'm honest with you.

So the answer about the hole is a very strict no, okay?

We're just going no, and we're gonna call it a no, and I... the way you're looking at me right now is really f*cking pissing me off, I gotta tell you, because you're giving me this knowing, condescending look and it's like saying, "Get in the hole."

And I'm not getting in the f*cking hole, lady. You understand what I'm saying?

I'm not getting in the hole!

I don't care what you say to me!

I don't care what you do to me!

I'm not getting in a f*cking hole where you're gonna throw sh*t on me and make me into a f*cking zombie in there!

I'm tired of it! I'm tired of people f*cking bossing me around!

I'm sick of this sh*t, and I wanna put my foot down and say, "No," and I'm gonna stop it!

We're gonna stop it all!

Do you want me to hold your burrito?

[Upbeat music playing]

♪ I've been trying to reach you ♪
♪ I've been trying to reach you ♪
♪ From the tops of the trees ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ I've been trying to reach you ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ And I've been trying to meet you ♪
♪ And I've been trying to meet you ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ From the tops of the trees ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ I've been trying to reach you ♪
♪ My father ♪
♪ Made it home ♪
♪ My sister ♪
♪ Made it home ♪
♪ And I'm still waiting ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ And I've been trying to keep you... ♪