01x07 - Bingo

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Better Call Saul". Aired February 2015 - current.*
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The trials and tribulations of criminal lawyer, Saul Goodman, in the time leading up to establishing his strip-mall law office in Albuquerque, New Mexico. A "Breaking Bad" spinoff.
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01x07 - Bingo

Post by bunniefuu »

[Sniffs]

Once again... I do all the talking.

That's the only way this works.

[Telephone rings in distance]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Footsteps approaching]

Hand it over.

Now, before that happens...

Hand it over.

No. Hey. I've got it right here.

Is this it?

I'll... I will take that as a "yes."

[Chuckles] Very well. Mystery solved.

You know, I could take you into custody right now, you son of a bitch.

Both of you.

Whoa, whoa. Where's this coming from?

You're the one who spilled the coffee, you ambulance-chasing piece of sh*t!

Can we dial it down, you know, just a notch?

Look, 45 minutes ago, I'm sound asleep.

I get a call from Mr. Ehrmantraut.

He's concerned.

He's getting threatening voicemails from you accusing him of petty theft.

I tell him,

"hey, we're gonna nip this in the bud.

I don't care what the hell time it is. We're gonna go talk this thing out."

And walking across the parking lot, just now... boom... there's a notepad, plain as day, lying on the asphalt, where I can only surmise you accidentally dropped it, Detective. Now, guys, that's... that's all we know.

Let me tell you something, Slick... wait till I get you back to Philadelphia.

I'm confused.

The state of Pennsylvania can extradite people for returning lost property? Wow, that is one bold legislature.

Anything you want to say to me about what you found in here? Hmm?

Now that it's all out in the open?

Maybe your daughter-in-law... maybe she's got something to tell me.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Yeah, we'll see.

First thing tomorrow...

I mean, you got to figure she wouldn't reach out to us if she had nothing to say.

Hopefully, whatever you are didn't rub off on the rest of your family.

Thanks.

You're welcome. Let's get the hell out of here.

No, I mean "thanks," as in "three's a crowd."

You can go now.

You're not talking to my client without me.

Yeah, he is.

Please leave now.

[Sighs]

[Smacks lips]

Ooh. Oh, man.

You ever have jet lag?

[Sniffs] I guess that's what this is. [Grunts]

Maybe it's the altitude, huh?

[Sighs]

Could be the altitude.

We're a mile up, right?

[Sighs]

Sorry about the kid.

He's young, looking to make his mark.

I like him.

Your daughter-in-law... what... what's she gonna tell us?

I don't honestly know.

Well, Mike, if she's got nothing to say, this pretty well ends it here.

So maybe you should talk to her before we do.

I talked.

If I were to guess, I'd say she wouldn't tell you much.

But... Either way, that's up to her.

That's the least I owe her.

There's a lot of people we both know that think that Fensky got what was coming to him... Hoffman, too.

That whole precinct was a sewer.

Wouldn't be surprised if there's a few more early retirements.

Might be a good thing... new blood.

Like the kid.

Yeah.

He's all right.

He's just got to learn, that's all.

Some rocks you don't turn over.

[Sighing]

What did you say to him?

Let's go, word for word, verbatim, while it's still fresh.

What I said is none of your concern.

I was speaking to a friend.

[Chuckles] You were speaking to a homicide detective who flew 2,000 miles to investigate a double m*rder for which you are clearly the prime suspect.

How could you not recognize the mind games, the scams, the... the con jobs these people play?

You used to be one of them. So what got said?

Right now, come on. I'm serious.

I know you're trying to help me, but you can't go...

Look, no, I'm trying to help me.

Those two Philly cheesesteaks... they want to lock me up right alongside you.

So, work with me here, for the both of us.

You're safe, Counselor, and I no longer require your services.

You're... you're kidding, right?

What... y... you think you're gonna defend yourself?

It's in someone else's hands.

What... like God?

No.

Please don't say Hamlin, Hamlin, McGill.

I appreciate your help. Go home. Go to bed.

Send me your bill.

[Car door closes]

Oh, I'm sending you my bill.

[Engine turns over] I'm sending...

You better believe it!

[Sighs]

[Birds chirping]

Jimmy: It's me... your friendly neighborhood ice man.

There was a run on bacon.

[Ice clatters]

I'll get you next time.

Chuck, you there?!

Chuck?

Chuck?

Chuck, you up there?

Hello?

Chuck: I'm out here!

Chuck?

... 112, 113, 114...

Holy sh*t! What are you doing?!

Shh! ... 115, 116, 117, 118, 119... 120! Go! Go! Inside!

[Sighs]

What the hell was that?

What the hell was that?

Just give me a second.

Ohh.

[Sighs]

Okay.

Okay.

It's an experiment, really.

I've been attempting to build up a tolerance for electromagnetic fields.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like, um, you know, like taking small doses of poison to build up an immunity.

Yeah, well, is that a real thing?

'Cause that does not sound like a real thing.

It's a real thing.

Anyway, as you well know, there is a 60-kilovolt transformer 200 meters south-southwest of my front yard.

And I've been trying to get acclimated to it.

I got up to two minutes today.

Jesus, Chuck.

[Chuckling] Yeah.

Two days ago, I could barely stand 30 seconds.

I'm trying to get up to five minutes by next week.

That is just...

Uh, but why now?

Well, after what happened with the police and the hospital, I almost lost everything, Jimmy.

I can't go on like this.

I have to find a way to get better.

I've got to.

I have to get back to work.

Sitting here, rotting away... this is no kind of life for me... for anyone.

I need to be useful again.

[Sighs]

Chuck... I am so proud of you.

Oh. [Chuckles]

It'll be a long process, but one to which I'm very much committed.

I have to be.

[Clock ticking]

[Sighs]

God, I... I'll be right back.

I got to get a few more things out of the car.

All right.

[Groans]

Ahh.

Ohh.

[Chuckles]

[Laughing] All right.

What's all this?

It's just some case files. I'm out of room at the office.

I don't want to leave them in the car.

There's a lot of sensitive information.

Y... you're not planning to leave them here.

Yeah, I don't know, Jimmy.

It'll just be for a little while, okay?

I'm practically sleeping on these things back at my place.

Business is that good?

[Chuckles] It's booming streets of gold.

Yeah. I'll get these out of here as quick as I can.

I just need to file the 4-13s on some of these wills, and, uh, I'll be out of your hair.

4-13s?

Personal property statements.

You mean 5-13s.

Yeah.

Sorry. I was just working with these seniors.

Maybe the dementia's contagious, huh? [Chuckles]

Uh-huh.

Uh... [clears throat] So, uh, we good here?

See you tomorrow. Same time.

[Door closes]

[Sighs]

[Birds chirping]

James McGill.

Scott said he'd leave the keys to 801, the suite that's for lease.

Here you go. Just bring them back when you're done.

You got it.

Wow, this is, like... really nice. [Chuckles]

Why do you sound surprised?

Not... surprised, no. Just, you know, could you afford this?

[Chuckling] Oh, yeah. Are you kidding?

Those seniors have been very good to me.

I've been meaning to expand, you know?

[Telephone rings]

It's time to invest in myself.

Figure this may be just the place.

Well, won't you miss the nail salon?

Oh, I can always visit, you know, get some French tips.

[Elevator bell dings]

[Elevator doors open]

[Lock turns, door opens]

[Chuckles]

Wow.

It's a clean slate. [Sighs]

Put the, uh, reception desk right here.

Uh, get some comfortable seating for the clients.

I... it's big... lot of offices.

Yeah, I like the openness.

I feel like I can breathe in here, you know?

It's not some claustrophobic, little closet that smells like acetone.

[Chuckles]

Room to grow.

Dream big, I say.

[Clicks tongue]

Got a decent-size conference room... not as big as Hamlin's, but, you know, it's cozy. Our elderly brethren prefer that, I find.

Yeah. Could be cozier, though.

Maybe you could embroider some little cushions, crochet a runner for the table.

And rocking chairs all around?

Yes.

Make it look like the front of a cr*cker barrel, huh?

[Both chuckle]

Now you're talking.

This is me.

[Sighs]

[Chuckling] I love it.

Got to look successful to be successful. Am I right?

Well, this definitely looks like success. [Laughs]

Great view.

Get you a big, fancy desk in here.

Cocobolo desk.

A what?

I don't know what it means, but I just like saying the word "cocobolo."

Okay, well, whatever it is, you deserve it.

And, uh, I want you to see this one.

Here we are.

[Chuckles] Whoa.

This is way better than the other one.

You think?

Uh, yeah.

Who goes in here?

'Cause I'd be all up in here if I were you.

Yeah. [Inhales sharply]

Yeah, you know, you're right. It is real nice.

It's a corner office. You got to go with the corner office.

Eh, I was saving it for someone.

Who?

Well, my partner.

Your partner? Who's...

[Chuckles]

Who would that be?

Well, you said you were interested in elder law.

That's... That is so...

[chuckles]

Thank you.

Really.

But you know I've got a lot invested at HHM.

With what's going on now, I... I'm closer than ever to partner... like, maybe two years, and I'm in.

[Chuckling] Yeah, I know.

Yeah, it's... it's just a thought.

Plus, you know, they put me through law school.

I feel like I owe them.

Actually, I do owe them... literally, you know?

But it's a nice thought, Jimmy.

Just, uh, you know, playing with ideas.

So, I had the extra office and everything, so...

Yeah. No, I get it. It's...

I... want to see the kitchen.

Wow!

[Sighs]

They have stainless in here.

I don't even have stainless at home.

Kim: I know this is the last thing you want to hear.

I think your chances of getting a favorable ruling from a jury are very slim.

Mr. Kettleman: What does that mean?

We're not in a great position to win at trial.

But we came to you people because we were told you win cases.

Winning doesn't always mean getting a favorable verdict at trial.

We try to achieve the best possible outcome for our clients, given each individual case.

Frankly, we've worked very hard to stave off an arrest.

After the misunderstanding about your, uh, camping trip, the D.A. was concerned you might be a flight risk.

[Scoffs] A flight risk? We... we were practically in our own backyard. [Laughs]

That's exactly what we told the D.A.

In any case, I think we've managed to come up with a deal that is very favorable under the circumstances.

A deal?

I hate that terminology.

A deal is what they got O.J.

Well, Betsy, maybe we should, you know, hear it.

I'm just saying, it's terrible term.

What kind of... deal?

If the prosecution decides to file, which is definitely the direction this seems to be headed, and if they choose to stack charges, Craig, you're looking at 30 years in prison.

30 years?

That's the maximum, and given the nature of the charge and the current political environment, I'd say we should expect it.

The public outcry in cases like these is a big factor.

However, after much discussion with the D.A., who is also invested in keeping the press to a minimum, we have arrived at an arrangement, which would include 16 months in a county facility.

16 months.

Down from 30 years.

And you most likely wouldn't serve all of it.

But he would have to say he was guilty.

Admitting wrongdoing and making the county whole again goes a long way here... hence the minimal sentence.

Uh, "making the county whole again"?

It includes the stipulation that you return $1.6 million in misappropriated funds.

Give back the money?

But there is no money.

There's no money.

We told you... Craig is innocent.

I understand.

However, I'd like to emphasize again that this deal is Craig's best chance of minimizing jail time.

You're telling us there are drug dealers and murderers walking the streets, but instead of going after them, they want to put an innocent man in jail.

There's no other... way?

I'm sorry. I think, under the circumstances, this is your best option.

Murderers and rapists, and this is how they tr...

[inhales sharply]

Okay. There is no money.

There never was.

You have to take this to trial.

Look, you have a difficult, but nevertheless straightforward choice to make here.

On one hand, you give up the money, Ah! plead...

I just told you... there is no money.

... plead guilty... it's painful, I know... and go to jail for a year and a half.

But your other choice... that is no choice at all.

If you go to trial, you'll most likely lose, and Craig goes to prison for decades.

Your children will grow up seeing their dad through bars on visiting day.

I know what I'd do.

I'd take the deal.

Two years from now, you can be starting over.

It's tough, I know... But you're tough people.

And your family is worth it.

Why don't I give you a few moments to discuss this?

I know it's a big decision.

We don't need to discuss it.

[Chuckles]

You're fired.

How about we go to my office and discuss this?

I'm sure there's a solution.

That won't be necessary.

We will no longer be requiring your services.

Yeah, it's not personal, really.

If you're unhappy with what we presented to you, there may be other directions we can go.

We're done here! Please stop following us!

Don't look back.

Only look forward. Always in life, look forward.

[Bingo balls rattling]

Jimmy: O-70! O-70! Oh, yeah.

70's a good age.

All right, duck your heads, 'cause here comes another number.

N-32.

And the action never stops.

I hope you all took your heart pills,

'cause it's almost too much excitement, right?

Which one will it be?

Say your prayers. Here it comes.

All right, we've got G-48...

"G," as in "Guy Lombardo."

G-48.

Keep your elbows to yourselves, okay? No body-checking.

All right, what do we have here?

Wait for it.

B-6.

[Indistinct conversations]

Lucky B-6, just like the vitamin... all right... which you should be taking.

Keep things moving in the old G.I. tract.

Bingo!

[Bell dings] Oh, we have a winner!

[Applause] Lady luck has struck again.

Let's see a hand so we know who's won.

It's the lovely young lady in the back.

Congratulations, Miss. You've won a, um... what do we have for the lovely lady?

Notebook.

Yeah, it's an adorable notebook.

Do you like cats, Miss, uh...

Oh, Irene. I love kitties.

I have two siamese cats...
[Cellphone ringing]

Oscar and Felix.

Felix can wash himself.

Oscar won't. He he just won't.

What a lovely story. Thank you.

Um, can you take that to Irene?

And when you come back, cover... yeah?

Uh, I'm gonna take a short break,

'cause somebody needs legal help.

[Chuckles]

[Feedback]

[Ringing continues]

[Clears throat]

[Sighs]

[High-pitched British accent] Offices of James McGill, esquire.

How may I direct your call?

Yes. Yes, of course. Um, one moment, please.

[Normal voice] Déjà vu. Hello, again.

Good to see you.

Nice to see you.

So, how may I be of service?

Well, we would like to hire you as our attorney, Mr. McGill.

[Chuckles] Wow.

Really?

However, we have certain conditions, and these are not up for debate.

We want no jail time... zero.

Craig is innocent, and we expect you to prove that.

We won't see his name smeared like this any longer.

Um, can we back up just a scooch?

'Cause last time we spoke, you were very enthusiastic... you were positively insistent about being represented by HHM.

Well, uh...

That's all right. Oh.

We've parted ways.

May I ask why?

We... disagreed with their defense strategy.

Okay.

They treated us like we were guilty.

So, your previous objections to my representing you are now...

Oh, I'm sorry about my è bluntness at our last encounter. è [Chuckles]

Unfortunate.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I...

But we really... we're very sorry about that.

We thought long and hard about it, and, um, we...

And, you know, given your passion and your can-do attitude...

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

... we really... we just believe that you're the lawyer for us.

For us, yes.

Well, as flattered as I am by this, um, since we last spoke, I've changed my area of specialization, so I concentrate on elder law now.

But, I mean, you said that you would fight for us.

Yeah, you... You, you were you were adamant.

You promised to get us a not-guilty verdict.

I don't think I exactly promised that.

You said we would be client number one, morning, noon, or night, and...

Yes, and I meant what I said, at the time, but times change.

But we've already paid you a retainer.

Right.

A retainer.

That is what you called it.

That was your specific terminology.

It... could you excuse me for a moment?

I, uh, had a big gulp on the way over.

Ohh.

[Chuckles]

[Man urinating]

[Breathing heavily]

[Dialing]

[Ringing]

[Clears throat]

Kim: Hey.

Hey, there.

[Urinating stops]

[Urinating resumes]

Funny story.

I found something that belongs to you... again.

Yeah? What?

"Who?"

Picture "The 25th Hour," starring Ned and Maude Flanders.

Oh, Christ. The Kettlemans?

You lose any other clients today?

[Chuckling] Yeah.

Mr. and Mrs. Cuckoo Bananas just offered me the plum job of defending them.

They came to you?

Yeah, I know.

I don't know what you did to piss them off, but it must have been good.

W... what did they tell you?

Not much, just, uh, that you treated them like they were guilty.

[Chuckles]

Jesus.

Look, Jimmy...

I know... [Inhales deeply] I know this is a lot to ask, but you have to convince them to come back to HHM.

I do, huh?

Yes.

[Urinal flushes]

Please. It's important.

What's it worth to you?

Jimmy, I'm serious.

They left because they think they can win this case, but they can't.

I managed to scrape together... from practically nothing, I might add... a deal they should feel lucky to have.

This is their absolute best bet.

Please... Make them understand it's better for them if they come back.

Tell me about this deal.

Elder law?

I don't know what that is.

Yeah, me neither.

Elder. Do you think... Maybe if we were old...

Sorry. Whoo! Oh.

[Chuckles]

The mysteries of the bladder. Right?

[Chuckles]

So, how do we get started?

Do you need us to sign that little paper?

I am... I am very sorry, but I'm afraid I can't take your case.

My schedule is just... it's just chock-full right now.

I highly encourage you to go back to HHM.

I'm certain they would welcome you with open arms.

No, we're not going back there. They were... incompatible.

I understand.

They asked you to face some harsh realities, and I get it... no one likes that. But bottom line here... Kim Wexler is a fine attorney.

She has a great relationship with the D.A.

Much as I'd love to sing my own praises, I doubt I could get you a deal as good as the one she already has.

Okay, we don't want a deal.

We want you, our lawyer, to exonerate Craig.

"Exonerate"?

That is, uh... that is a big word, particularly in your case.

Yeah, there will be no deal.

There is no money with which to make a deal. [Chuckles]

We... can we all three just parachute down from cloud cuckoo land?

'Cause we know, without question, there is money.

No, there...

I distinctly remember a spirited game of tug-of-w*r over this money, money which we then discussed at length.

You made many excuses justifying your possession of said money.

It's there.

It exists. S-shh. Now, just... [Stammers] please, for my own sanity...

[Clears throat] You can't hide a big bag of cash forever, and you certainly will never be able to spend any of it.

So, go back to HHM, apologize to Ms. Wexler, and for Christ's sakes, take the deal.

If there were any money...

Lady, enough!

If there were any money, there would have to be a full accounting of it.

Every penny would have to be present... every single penny.

You understand?

All of it.

That includes the $30,000 that you...

Craig, yes, he gets it.

Okay. Yeah, he gets it.

We're in this together, Mr. McGill... Come what may.

Now [Breathes deeply] where do we begin?

[Telephones ringing]

[Indistinct conversations]

There you go. Kettleman that's all of it.

Where's Kim?

We moved her over to the east wing.

The east wing? That's the cornfield.

Why are you sending her to the cornfield, Howard?

Never heard it called that before.

[Chuckling] Well, that's what you call it.

You gonna punish her just 'cause you lost those two batshit Kettlemans?

You notice I'm not exactly crowing over how I snaked them away from you.

Jimmy, here are your files.

I'm not gonna discuss my employee policies with you.

[Sighs] I'm gonna need some help here.

Yeah...

You sure are.

[Grunting]

[Breathing heavily]

That prick f*ring you?

Best-case scenario is my 2-year plan just became a 10-year plan.

That schmuck.

You didn't do anything wrong.

I lost the client.

Not your fault.

They're not really playing with a full deck those Kettlemans.

You had to take their case?

I'm sorry, okay? I tried. I r... I really did.

I'm not being fair.

Of course you tried.

They'll do what they want to do.

[Sighs]

Hope you didn't promise them too much.

I doubt you'll be able to do more for them than we were offering.

You think very highly of my skills, obviously.

It's not that, Jimmy. It's a loser case.

That deal was their best chance.

After I worked my ass off finagling with the D.A., and it's just like... whatever.

There's got to be a way, you know?

I take it to court.

You'll lose.

Kettleman did a terrible job covering his tracks.

For starters, they've got reams of checks he wrote for false expenses.

And I can't even challenge their admission into evidence because he wrote them to himself.

I know we're never supposed to say our clients are guilty, but, hey, not my client anymore... he's guilty as sin.

Yeah, but there has to be something... some loophole or...

None that I could find.

There has to be a way.

Not without the money.

It's the only chip those Kettlemans have, and they refuse to play it.

[Sighs]

[Thud]

[Slaps table]

[Sighing]

[Breathing heavily]

[Sighs]

[Insects chirping]

Commentator: And Anderson leads things off in the top of the second inning here tonight.

First pitch... curve ball for a strike.

Count is 0-1.


Commentator 2: There was some concern that we'd have some light showers, but it looks like it's gonna be clear tonight.

Absolutely. That's a ball. 1-1.


No.

Ortner readies.

[Door closes]

Throws, and it is a liner toward the gap in right-center field.

Roberts on the run, reaches out...

And makes the grab.

And that puts one away here in the second inning.

Next up, the always imposing Lee.

And he's had a great start this season.


[Radio chatter continues]

[Sighs]

[Insects chirping]

[Zipper closes]

Jesus.

Gets bigger every time I look at it.

Thanks for not heading to the Bahamas with this.

[Breathes deeply]

What are you doing?

"The right thing."

You know where you're going?

Yeah. [Clears throat]

Am I correct in assuming we're now square?

Square.

[Sighs]

[Doorbell rings]

[Birds chirping]

Good morning.

Betsy: Who is it, Craig?

Oh, it's Mr. McGill!

Good morning. Come on in. [Chuckles]

[Door closes]

Oh, I love what you've done with the place.

Last time I was here, it was, uh, well, not a contender for the cover of good housekeeping... that's for sure.

[Chuckles]

Do you have news about our case?

I do, in fact.

But before we get to the nitty-gritty, I think we should chat about your deal.

Ah.

We told you... there will be no deal.

You did, didn't you?

However, circumstances have changed.

What circumstances?

To answer that, um, might I suggest that you go check on that money you insist you didn't take?

[Chuckles, scoffs]

In the upstairs bathroom, under the sink?

Wait. How could you...

[Rapid footsteps depart]

Betsy!

[Clattering]

No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No!

It's okay. It's okay, Betsy. It's got to be...

No. It's got to be in there somewhere.

[Thudding]

What did you do with it?

By "it," you mean...

Where is it?!

Oh. You mean the money.

Uh, let me see. Uh, it's, uh, on its way to the D.A.'s desk right about now.

What?

You... oh, you thief!

Takes one to know one, doesn't it?

He took it?

How did you take it?

A good magician never reveals his secrets.

Now, here's what we're gonna do.

Oh, you don't tell us what to do.

You stole from us. We'll... we will have you arrested.

I... I can see how upset you are, and, even on a good day, you and logic are... [whistles]

But think about what you just said.

Criminals have no recourse. And you two... you're criminals, big-time.

How dare you?

Luckily, you have a very talented lawyer who has found a way to minimize the damage you've brought upon yourselves.

[Scoffs] Oh. Oh, you're fired.

Oh, I quit already.

No, I'm talking about Kim Wexler.

Now, you're gonna go back to her, you're gonna apologize for your hasty decision to terminate her services, and you're gonna fall on her mercy and take that deal.

We'll tell... about the bribe you took.

You could do that.

You absolutely could.

And I'd be in a mess of trouble... a real pickle...

But so would you, Mrs. Kettleman.

'Cause right now, only Mr. Kettleman is on the hook for the whole embezzlement kerfuffle.

But the bribe... w... we're back to calling it a bribe?...

Yeah, that implicates you, as well.

It does not.

It was all me.

No, it wasn't.

I'll make sure everyone knows that.

[Sighs]

Look on the bright side, you know?

They could work out some kind of inter-prison visitation program, the occasional conjugal.

Maybe it won't be all bad.

You... you'll probably wind up running your own g*ng.

Thing you folks need to know about me... I got nothing to lose.

Christ, you should see my office.

No, it's not over.

Yeah.

Let's find another lawyer.

Come on, Betsy.

No, no.

[Sighs]

No.

We don't have to put up with this.

I will not be treated this way.

Betsy... The kids.

The...

We have to do this... For the kids.

[Sighs]

They can't lose us both.

[Crying]

We have to.

[Sobbing] No.

Shh.

No. [Sobbing]

It's okay.

[Sniffles]

[Sobbing]

It's okay.

Shh.

[Tones play]

[Sighs]

[Button clicks]

[Tones play]

[Button clicks]

[Sighs]

[Grunting] [Thudding]

[Breathing heavily]

[Cellphone ringing]

[Click]

Law offices of James M. McGill. How may I direct your call?
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