06x03 - High Definition Piss Juggs

[bunniefuu]

(SFX: Hood creaks)

You know what? Everyone in this park has changed.

I don't know what's going on.

I mean, Lucy's banging cops now and, it's no big deal I guess, I mean, I don't run Lucy, she's for to be her own woman, but, for me now, I'm just going to concentrate on my business try to get that going better.

Get my dad working for me again.

Basically show Corey and Trevor how to run a f*cking business cause those dicks and their little f*cking stupid store are starting to piss me off.

I mean, all they do is sit around and get stoned eating gummy bears and watching Channel 10.

For Channel 10 local business live, I'm Steve Rogers.

If you'd like to have a local business profiled live on Channel 10, please give me a call.

I'm Steve Rogers.

Hi Mr. Rogers, it's Corey and Trevor, from Corey and Trevor's Convenience Store here in Sunnyvale.

We've opened the first independent convenience store, maybe you can put us on your show.

Hey, Corey and Trevor's Convenience could really use the support of Channel 10 and I love your show man, thanks.

I hope he picks us.

(music)

(SFX: Phone dialing)

Hello?

Mr. Rogers, nice to speak to you like this um, anyway, I'm calling about a new business I'm opening called the Kittyland Love Centre.

It's a cat day care centre and I'd like to get the word out that I'm open for business and I'm calling from the Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

Sunnyvale Trailer Park, do you know Corey and Trevor from Corey and Trevor's Convenience?

Yeah, I know those dickweeds.

Well as a matter of fact, we're going to be heading up there live at four and five to do a profile with them.

How about we go live with Kittyland at 6:30, the magazine show?

6:30 tonight?

Ricky! What in the name of sweet f*ck are you doing?!

Lucy wanted this stuff off her lawn Bubbles.

There's nowhere else to put it.

It's still good, I'm not going to throw it out.

Oh my god, Ricky.

I've got Channel 10 coming here to do a live news story.

What do you mean, Channel 10?

They're going to do a story on Corey and Trevor but they're coming to do one on Kittyland in less than six hours Ricky.

I can't have all this garbage here.

Look there's piss jugs in here.

With the TV coming Ricky.

Do you know how f*cked up that would be?

You can't have a TV program that shows piss jugs.

(SFX: Piss jug splattering)

Well Bubbs, I mean, I'm starting my own business too called Garbageland.

Garbageland! Garbageland! Ricky!

All Ricky did was take a perfectly good name that I came up with, Kittyland, stuck his name Garbage on the front of it, and came up with Garbageland.

And people are coming up to me.

Oh, you've got Kittyland going do you Bubbles, you must have gotten the idea from Ricky's Garbageland, did you?

It's the other way around!!

I think Bubbles should stop being so f*cking selfish and help with Garbageland.

The thing he doesn't understand is that people will come for garbage or buy garbage are going to have cats.

It's going to be alright, I promise.

Just make sure I got on TV with you and I can promotional Garbageland alright?

You can't call it Garbageland if you're going on TV with me.

Well, Ricky's Used Stuff, does that work?

I guess so. Let's just do it.

My business isn't exactly the kind of business you want to promote on TV because you know, I've got quite a bit of stolen renovation supplies around the park.

And yes it is kind of greasy but, you know, I'm fixing up the trailers and I'm going to sell them eventually so it's a good business move.

So I think today the best thing for me to do is to lay low, maybe work on my deck or do some interior work or something.

I'm working really hard these days with Julian.

Uh, we're getting to hang out quite a bit.

He needs someone to help him with renovations and building installation and stuff like that so I'm dealing with a lot of the transport and the delivery of really important materials to get stuff done.

This is Officer Jim Lahey, ex-Officer Jim Lahey, doing surveillance on Julian who appears to be renovating his trailer with stolen building materials and tools.

For the purposes of this surveillance, I will appear to be intoxicated but I am in fact sober. This, for the record, is iced tea.

Begin surveillance.

Corey, here.

Hey, maybe I could keep those boxes for Trevor?

No, get rid of the boxes.

Corey, I told you to get rid of these signs.

Jim.

Hey, listen Randy asked me if I'd fix Bill and Alvena's lattice work.

Some little sh*t's kicked it in.

I need some three inch galvanized spikes, you got any?

Nails, let's go.

Hey Jules, you want a little drinky poo?

No, I'm fine Jim.

You sure bud.

Here.

Oh, thanks Jules.

Listen, you gotta learn how to pace yourself okay?

No, I don't.

Nice cologne Jules.

I wish Randy and Lahey would get back together because this sexy talk is starting to drive me nuts.

Sexy this, sexy that, you smell good Julian.

He's hugging me. He actually tried to kiss me the other day.

I don't know, it's just making me feel really, really uneasy.

Suspect acted suspiciously.

Was belligerent, sexy and behaved as if he had somethingto hide.

Surveillance terminated.

(telephone ringing)

Hello Randy here.

Hi Randy, this is Steve Rogers.

Barb Lahey gave me your number.

I'm here with the truck.

We'd like to do a live profile on several of your residents who have their own small business.

I have the Live truck, we'd like to ask you to help us coordinate the production tonight.

This is frigging Ricky isn't it?

Well, I'm not falling for any more of your dumb tricks Ricky.

No more of your bullshit.

I know you frigging ruined the Cheeseburger Picnic.

Randy, this is Steve Rogers.

I can see you. You're not wearing a shirt.

Take a look out your window.

Take a second to get yourself together bud. I'm Steve Rogers.

Good, well he'll be out any minute I'm sure.

And I know he will do his very best to help you in any way that he can, so if there's anything that he doesn't come up with, you just let me know and I certainly will.

I'll be happy to.

My apologies.

It really is you.

No problem Randy, I'm Steve Rogers. Who's Ricky?

Oh he's this jerk who lives here. He thinks he's so big Oh Randy, I want you to take Mr. Steve Rogers and show him around the park.

Help him with his broadcast in any way you can.

It's a great opportunity for Sunnyvale. Live television Randy.

Is there a problem Randy?

Well, it's just that there's these guys who live here, could cause trouble, right Barb?!

Well, they're not And with those guys around, I don't think it's a great idea to go live.

Look Randy, I'm a journalist.

I've been a journalist for a while now.

I know news. I know good news stories.

I can take care of myself.

I just need someone to show me around the park, help me tap into the cable so we can go live.

You think you can handle that.

There's not going to be a problem, is there Randy?

No problem Barb. I can do it.

Ricky, I cannot believe how many piss jugs your dad's left around the park.

Look at these things.

Can you please try to explain to me why your dad would opt to piss in non biodegradable containers instead of just pissing on a tree like a normal person?

Bubbles, it's not his fault. He's a trucker.

Truckers do things a little differently alright. They can't have time to stop.

It's not their fault. It's the way he learned how to piss.

Ricky, your dad hasn't been a trucker in twenty years.

You're telling me it's a trucker's fault.

Bubbles, it's the way of the road.

f*cking way of the road.

Here's some loose ones.

The ironic thing is I need to piss really bad now.

Lahey, what the f*ck do you want?

Just doing my job Rick. Cleaning up the park.

I brought you a couple of high quality items Ricky.

Free of charge.

I can have this stuff?

Absolutely, my son.

I think that Lahey's so god- damned wasted these days is great.

I mean, we could never of opened up these business before in the park and now we can do whatever the f*ck we want.

Let him keep drinking.

Get the f*ck out of here you god-damned drunk f*cking clown.

God bless you boy.

(SFX: Engine revving tires spinning on gravel)

Neil, how we looking? Reception good? Let's do it.

It is just amazing the way you can set up just anywhere.

I'm Steve Rogers broadcasting live from Sunnyvale Trailer Park, tonight in high definition. More on that later.

We'll meet Corey and Trevor and talk about their brand new convenience store here in the park.

And later, we'll meet Bubbles and talk about his cat day care centre, the Kittyland Love Centre. All this at five.

Isn't this technology amazing! This is definitely going onto my reel.

Okay Horatio, Danny, let's go to our next location, the convenience store.

Who's that?

I, a local eccentric.

Randy, would you get on your bike and take care of that.

Sure Barb.

Randy never understood how hard it was to be in charge, running this park.

Well, now he's learning, the hard way.

Ricky, what in the frig are you doing with the urine containers?

I'm not going to fight you Rick, I gotta go get Lahey.

I'm doing your f*cking job Randy.

This should've been cleaned up from the park a long time ago.

There's piss jugs everywhere.

They're your father's urine containers Rick.

My father's.

How do you know they're not Lahey's, he's driving around here drunk.

They're not my f*cking dad's. Deal with it Randy.

Don't frig with me today Ricky. Not today!

How's it going, Randy man?

Not too good Mr. Lahey.

Ricky threw a bunch of piss jugs up on my roof.

Running the park isn't as easy as you thought it would be, is it boy.

I think I'm running it better than you ever did Mr. Lahey.

Oh, is that right, Randy? That's my lunch.

Look, I need some work done.

I don't have time to stand around here and argue with you.

I need two things done.

Number one, go around the park and collect all the piss jugs and take them to the dump.

Get rid of them. They can't be seen on TV.

Number two, you can't be seen on TV.

You're too drunk Mr. Lahey. It's an embarrassment to this park.

Look, Barb's really excited about this. Now go collect the piss jugs.

Alright.

Ricky, I don't know about this.

I'm starting to think maybe we should just clear all your stuff out and just focus on Kittyland.

Bubbles, what are you talking about? This is my business.

This is my life now.

You promised Bubbles, if I organized this and got it all together that I'd be going on Channel 10 to promote it.

Yeah, but Ricky, Steve Rogers is a powerful man.

I don't know if you realize that.

Like, if this gets screwed up, it could ruin everything.

It's not going to get screwed up. How could it?

Will you just promise me you'll use some sense of decorum on the TV?

Bubbles, what are you worried about? Of course I'll use demoracum on the TV.

Some people are saying my dad's f*cked because he lives at the god-damned dump, well let me tell you this. My dad is not f*cked.

He's taught me a lot of good stuff, and one thing he taught me recently is that one man's garbage is another man person's good ungarbage.

And I''m going to roll with tha.

Sometimes you gotta do things to help your friends out even if you don't know how things are going to go.

Poor Ray down at the dump there, peeing in jugs, seagulls pooping on him, old dump bugs licking at him when he's trying to sleep.

Jimmie.

Ray.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I'm uh, just throwing some piss jugs for Randy.

Oh yeah, okay.

You working here now?

Uh no, no Jimmie, I'm uh, I'm I live here now, you know.

Randy thing in the park so I moved out.

Nice.

Yeah, it's nice. You know, you know. It's coming along.

Check it out. TV, satellite TV, 100 channels at least you know.

Hey, you should check out Channel 10 this afternoon. Steve, uh Steve Rogers. Yeah?

Right, coming live from Sunnyvale.

No way. You going to be on?

No, uh, new businesses. Bubbles and Kittyland and Ricky.

Oh yeah, Ricky's doing a garbage thing there eh. Doing good.

Good. Want to sit down or got time for a Oh no, no, I'll tell you what.

I'll uh, I'll figure out something else to do with these piss jugs Ray.

I appreciate that buddy. That'd be great.

Listen, uh, here. There's a few more.

If you wouldn't mind taking these with you, that'd be great.

I'll just put them in your car there, if that's alright.

Just stick them in the back here like that, is that alright?

That's great bud.

So, uh Channel 10.

Channel 10.

This afternoon.

Listen, that'd be great.

So uh, Jimmie, just give me one, just uh, you know, just don't tell anybody I'm living here, okay?

Hey, no problem bud.

There we go.

Look, if I put a little piece of rope on that, there's no way anything is getting out of that.

No, it's pretty secure Bubbs.

Oh my god, the first live hit's coming on Ricky.

We're broadcasting live from the Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

A very special broadcast tonight.

sh**ting entirely in high definition widescreen television, compliments of Simm Video.

Looks pretty good.

It's in high def Ricky.

Look how much clearer it is.

First up on the show, Corey and Trevor of Corey and Trevor's new independently owned convenience store.

Hi guys, tell me how you got started.

Well, we were hanging out down at the store a lot and Dean said we couldn't hang out there and we had to find some place else to hang out so we were just like, screw this, let's just start our own store right here in the park.

f*cking stupid those guys look.

Oh my god, look at Trevor. He looks like an alien.

Our own store right here in the park.

So what's selling for you these days?

I'm glad you asked that Steve.

Our top sellers are single cigarettes and these brand new DVDs and they're all new because they haven't even been out yet.

Corey just admitted they're selling illegal DVDs, that's brilliant Corey.

Now let me get this straight, you're selling ripped DVDs and individual cigarettes now, you know that's illegal, right?

Oh, can we tape this again.

We won't talk about all the illegal stuff.

We'll talk about some of the legal items like air fresheners.

No, no, guys.

We're live here, like I profile real businesses on this show.

We are a real business.

Hey, excuse me, this store is not involved in any illegal activities including selling single cigarettes for sixty-five cents each.

We're open 9 to 6, Monday to Saturday. Let's go.

I'll have to apologize to our serious business viewers.

I don't know how a store like this could possibly exist.

I should have done my homework.

Let's, perhaps we''ll ask that question to Randy.

Randy, you're the Associate Trailer Park Supervisor.

Were you aware of the illegal Look at that, Randy sucked his gut in.

Did you see that?

He did.

I'm not responsible for Corey and Trevor.

He looks extra hairy on TV too.

You friggin idiots.

Hey!

Fucklips! What were you thinking Trevor?

This is going to be seen by Barb.

Why don't you frig off?

What if Barb sees you renting p*rn on DVDs from us?

Don't talk about that, that's personal business.

Randy!

Dude get out of here. You smell like Cheesies.

Listen, you guys frigged up on live television. Live television.

Hey you guys, wait a second, we're live. We're live here.

We'll be right back with more, I'm Steve Rogers.

Oh my god Ricky.

There's no way our report could get this f*cked up.

I'll be honest, I'm a little bit worried about Ricky being on Channel 10 today.

I mean, this can't get f*cked up. A lot of people watch Channel 10.

That is him. Okay, he's just a guy, he's just a guy.

Don't worry about it Bubbs.

I get excited meeting celebrities Ricky!

They're just people.

Steve Rogers. My producer Burt Helmach.

Burt.

Mr. Helmach.

I met you one other time Steve.

You covered the election here and Sam was there with his big blummock head.

Oh course, yeah, I remember that.

So this is Kittyland huh?

Yeah it is, but first, I'm going to go first just show you a few things over here alright Bubbs?

It's okay he goes first on this? Alright, let's set it up.

Rick should be on any time now.

Randy, how many squares have you had?

Well you put them out for eating didn't you?

Thee were two dozen squares there Randy!

Oh look, it's coming. Hang on.

Welcome to a very special broadcast of the Live Eye on local business.

I'm Steve Rogers.

With me right now, one of the owners of a brand new cat day care centre here at Sunnyvale.

Rick how did this business plan come together?

Well actually I'm not one of the owners of the cat day care.

I have my own business called "Ricky's Used sh*t", I mean, it's not sh*t.

I've got some really good stuff here that I'm selling.

I go around and collect them and sell them for money, you know.

Pick something like this out of the garbage and sell that for a buck, I'm making some good cash.

This barbeque here (SFX: Bee buzzing)

f*ck, ow, f*cking garbage bees.

Well, it's kind of difficult when you are on live TV, I can't predict a bee att*ck in the middle of stuff going on.

Did you get stinged Mr. Rogers? Here, get that on to it.

Oh that sucks.

Ricky, can we talk about Kittyland, do you think?

I wasn't done Bubbs, but yeah, go ahead.

Why don't you take us on a tour.

Bubbles: The Kittyland, Ricky! Kittyland, This is on for three bucks today as well. It's a weed whacker.

Ricky, it's my turn.

The Kittyland Love Centre is an expansive supervised play area for cats.

Bring them in and I'll look after them. Fifteen dollars for each kitty.

I can take about fifteen of them at a time.

And I'll give them all the love that they need.

Different areas to play like the land of mice.

That's one of my favourite attractions. Right there, which I think it's going to be How are you doing gentlemen?

Oh no!

Randy asked me to collect all the piss jugs in the park.

You got any piss jugs you want to get rid of boys?

Can you get out of here with your piss jugs?

We're right in the f*cking middle of something here.

Live TV.

What are you talking about, Ricky? Hey, how are you doing?

Oh by the way, I heard a little rumour that there's a certain ex-trucker living in the dump.

How does it feel to be a loser Ray? Living in the dump.

You'll get yours buddy. I promise you that.

Calling my dad a loser?

Yeah, just like you Ricky. You're dad's a god-damned loser Rick.

You want to make something of it?

That's the father of your child.

(arguing)

Jim, Jim, Jim. What the, what are you doing?

Frig off Ricky. Get off Ricky!

You're just a loser Rick. Just like your old man.

For god's sake.

(laughing)

Oh sh*t, poor Bubbles.

This is not what the Kittyland Love Centre is about.

There's not usually drunk people with piss jugs here.

I will take good care of your kitties.

And give them love and, Kittyland Love Centre, Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

I may as well just go back to hauling carts.

Cause Kittyland, no f*cking way anybody's going to bring a kitty down to that place.

Drunk trailer park supervisors rolling around with piss jugs on a hockey stick.

Come down to Kittyland, Bubbles will f*cking look after your cat big time.

I will!