06x06 - Gimme My f*cking Money or Randy's Dead

[bunniefuu]

(sound of large truck)

Damn, 309 to Big Bear, come in buddy.

Big Bear to lively barbeque buddy.

You gotta get down here before I suffocate.

Well we were back at the park and Ray came blaring over the CB, screaming that he was being buried alive in garbage.

(shouting)

Can't breath Rick.

We got down there as fast as we could and I think we got him right in the knick of time.

He was running out of air in there.

You okay Dad?

Oh!

What kind of idiots would throw all this sh*t on you.

Well they probably didn't know there was someone living in there Ricky.

It's my home Bubbles.

He says he likes it here. I can see right through it.

He doesn't f*cking like it here.

He lives at the f*cking dump!

Bees and wasps and rats and hornets and sh*t flying around.

f*ck, dump bee!

(screaming)

I've f*cking had it with bees, I'll tell you that much.

They're always around Ricky because he's soaked in liquor and the sugar on him and the garbage juice, they're just attracted to him and I end up getting f*cking stung all the time.

f*ck I hate bees!

Since I was being born, my dad's always been there for me, looking out for me and taking care of me.

Especially after Mom left. Now it's my turn.

I gotta look after him.

I gotta get him out of this f*cking dump before he dies.

(music)

(Sound of air pump)

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about today.

Finally I get a chance to tell the truth after all these years.

Thing is, they might not believe me. That's why I'm counting on Randy.

Randy, we need to talk bud.

We got nothing to talk about Mr. Lahey.

Randy listen, I'm sober Randy.

I've been sober for 28 days, not a drop, swear to God.

I know that sounds crazy but listen Randy, I've been collecting evidence.

Videotape evidence. Forty-five hours on tape.

Corey, Trevor, Ricky and Julian breaking the law.

They're back at my place. You can have them Rand.

You can make the bust if you do me one little favour.

I need you to testify to my character at a hearing today.

Will you do that for me Randy? For an old friend?

I don't think so, Mr. Lahey.

I am truly disgusted at what a little bit of power has done to corrupt my Randy.

I can only think of one other person in the park that has any sort of conscience.

Bubbles. They very well could reinstate me.

Who knows, maybe I'll be patrolling Sunnyvale again.

Oh yeah, so then you can just f*ck with us whenever you want.

I don't think so Mr. Lahey.

Bubbles, if I'm reinstated, you're going to see a new Jim Lahey.

A new era of peace in Sunnyvale, I promise.

I won't f*ck over the boys anymore, promise.

Are you prepared to put that in writing in a legal document?

Yeah.

Alright, so these are the conditions.

You agree to deal with Randy and calm him down, he thinks he's so f*cking great these days.

Ray's coming back to the park, he's going to be the assistant trailer park supervisor.

And you agree not to f*ck with the boys and let them grow dope and sell to the guys in jail.

Alright Bubbles.

No, no, no. I want somebody to witness it.

You're not tricking me.

Alright, let's go.

Let's do it.

This is what we've been working on right here.

I was in charge of the lights, the tube and the bed.

I'm a lot taller so I was in charge of putting the reflective surfacing up there on the ceiling and all the walls and the floor.

This is going to be a huge surprise for Ricky.

I can't see how he's not going to absolutely love this.

This is the best work we've ever done.

Great job boys! Ricky's going to be impressed with you guys.

I gotta hand it to Corey and Trevor.

They might be stupid, but they did a great job in here.

I'm proud of them. This is what I want you to do.

Get a hold of this guy, fill the trailer up with weed plants.

Can you do it?

Yeah man, that's easy.

We can do this. I know this guy.

I know you can do it. Get back to work.

Love you Julian.

Trevor, I know you do okay. It's a known thing.

You don't have to keep saying it all the time.

It's not cool, got it?

Do you love us though? Corey and the Trevster?

Yes, I do. Now get back to work.

Okay so look, I need you to sign here, here, here.

Initial here and sign her down there.

(Sound of projector)

Mr. Lahey honestly wasn't drinking that night.

I mean, we threw liquor on him and liquor got spilled on him a little later on.

Thank you Barb. Lights please.

Chief, Mr. Lahey could have chased us that night you know, but he knew we were just kids out having fun on Halloween.

And he didn't want us to get in any trouble.

That's just the type of person Mr. Lahey is.

He's a, he's a good man.

Okay, I see. Right.

Uh, Officer Green, you were the arresting officer the night of the incident.

Yes sir, I was.

And it says here in your report that you came out to the scene and you found that Mr. Lahey's squad car was partially inserted into a trailer and that Mr. Lahey was in control of the vehicle and that he was soaked in alcohol.

That's correct Chief and based on what I saw, I made the arrest.

Based on what you saw. Okay, based on what you saw.

But you did not administer a Breathalyzer?

Oh, based on the situation at hand, I didn't see the need.

He pissed himself, he was soaked in alcohol.

George I told you, and you can see it on the tape, liquor was inadvertently spilled in my groin area.

He was your partner. You couldn't give him the benefit of the doubt?

He was my partner, but, he pissed himself.

From what I've just seen, it doesn't look like you were doing your job very well, Officer Green.

It did not look like you were doing your job yelling, you pissed yourself!

Mr. Lahey, do you have anything to add?

I just want to say Chief that all I ever wanted was to be a good cop, before I was busted by my partner I was a good cop, you remember.

You remember?

Even though I lost my badge, I never stopped being a cop.

Well, based on the evidence that I've seen and based on the very powerful testimony from Bubbles, uh, I think that I really believe that an unjustice has been done to you Mr. Lahey and uh, I feel that it's only right and fair to reinstate you as an officer of the law, effective immediately.

That's fine Chief. Jim Lahey thanks you.

Officer Lahey thanks you.

Yes.

Ted, it's Randy. I got the evidence we needed.

Ricky. What are you doing with the g*n out man?

I've got to go see Randy. I've got to get my Dad back in the trailer park.

Don't worry about that right now, okay?

Hey Bubbs.

Boys, guess what? Jim Lahey signed a peace agreement.

I had a peace agreement drawn up.

Jim Lahey signed it. Barb Lahey signed it.

You guys can never go to jail again.

I signed your names.

What are you talking about Bubbles?

I drew up a peace agreement between us and Jim Lahey.

Are you sure it's legal?

It's legal Ricky. Guess what else?

They agreed to make Ray the assistant trailer park supervisor.

My Dad?

Yeah, and he doesn't have to do f*ck all.

So he can come home?

Yeah.

Oh thanks.

Hey Ricky, follow me man. Wait til you see this.

Come here. Check it out. It's all yours man.

What do you mean this is mine?

This is your new home buddy.

But how? How did you guys do this?

Well, I don't want to take all the credit here.

Corey and Trevor helped out quite a bit so you want to thank those guys too Rick.

Bubbs, thanks. Oh my god, it's awesome Bubbs.

I don't know what to say.

Corey, Trevor. You guys are actually pretty cool.

That's a lot Ricky.

I'm blown away.

Perfect ventilation, the way you set up the lights.

Wasn't that much work.

Trevor, I've done this a lot of times.

It's a lot of work. Thank you.

Labour of love dude.

I'll need some guys to look after plants, help me feed them, if you guys are interested.

Yeah man, any time, dude.

Sarah's gonna be alright with that?

Oh yeah.

Well, there's only one thing left to do. I grew this is jail guys.

It's awesome. You got anything to do for the next three hours?

(music playing)

(sound of police sirens)

What's going on here guys?

We're f*cking stoned Randy so take your little friends and lave us alone.

No, you're stoned and you're arrested Ricky.

For what, getting stoned?

For stealing. It's all caught on videotape.

Guys, everyone's arrested except Bubbles, the guy with the glasses.

What's caught on videotape.

Let's go Ricky. Ricky!

You're caught stealing Ricky. On videotape.

Ricky!

What the f*ck did you catch on videotape Randy?

We didn't steal anything. We're stoned right now. You can't arrest us.

Cause it's going to be thrown out of court.

We can't understand our rights right now.

You're going to jail Ricky. Going to jail.

Frig off. Frig off.

You're going to jail. You think you're cool?

Spreading stuff around.

That was my dinner Randy. f*cking dinner.

Bubbles, don't let them in that f*cking trailer.

Oh f*ck off, you can't go in that trailer.

You don't have a warrant for, f*ck.

Do you have a f*cking warrant for that.

This is f*cking bullshit.

What's going on here Randy?

We're making an arrest Mr. Lahey.

With the video footage you took.

Why are you dressed as a cop?

Because he is a policeman Randy.

Officer Lahey was reinstated barely an hour ago.

At a hearing that you refused to attend Randall.

These are my tapes. They were stolen from my premises.

Therefore Ted you know they're not admissible as evidence.

Is that true Randy? Break and enter?

Yeah, I stole the tapes Ted. But they're frigging criminals.

Let them go. We've got nothing here this time.

But Ted the trailer. Let's look in the trailer.

No, I think we've seen enough.

Welcome back Jim.

Thanks Ted.

And I'm disappointed in you Randy.

Just f*cking with you Randy.

Let it go, Randall.

Three burgers Randy?

Four Barb.

Four?

Are you okay with this, Mr. Lahey?

Randy, no problem. Got her b*at bud.

So are you back together with Barb?

Barb? Uh Randy was asking about uh Oh uh, right well. Why don't you um, come out and help me with the grill Randy?

Randy, you've been through a lot dear, well we all have and, you know, I think we've come to know that the best and the worst of Jim with the drinking and all and in a strange way, I think it's formed a kind of bond between you and I and, well anyway, I've come to see you in a different light and I have to say that I really like what I see.

So what are you saying Barb?

You know Jim and I have been spending quite a lot of time together recently and we've both come to realize that we're, we're looking for something a little different in a relationship.

Different?

That's why um, Jim wanted me to talk to you.

We want you to move in with us Randy.

Jim says that you're an absolute wonder around the house so I think that there's real potential in this relationship for us to all be happy and satisfied.

Sam?

Sam, for God's sake, what are you doing?

Calm down Sam.

Oh, I'm calm.

Because of this fucker, I lost my job at East Coast Paving.

I got charged with DWI, and I have eighteen hundred dollars in fines.

Eh, you owe me, you f*cking greasy caveman.

So me and the burger boy are going to a bank machine to get my money so I don't go back to f*cking jail, okay Barb?

Sam, I've only got a hundred and sixty dollars in the bank.

A hundred and sixty?

I only make forty-six hundred a year.

f*ck!

Sam!

My burgers.

What the hell is going on here. Put the w*apon down Sam.

You're a cop?

Ah!

Yeah, and I'm about to make my first arrest.

You have the right to remain silent.

No, no, no. Here's what's going to happen.

He's got a hundred and sixty bucks?

That's a down payment. We're going to the bank machine to get that money.

While we're gone, you get the rest. Understood?

Open the door.

Do what he says.

I'll call you and I'll tell you where to meet me, okay?

Eighteen hundred dollars, or Randy's dead.

Drive.

Careful Sam.

You have my money.

Randy, for f*ck's sakes.

Turn it hard.

Okay, now turn it hard when you go forward.

Jim?!

Bit of a relapse Barb. Don't worry, I'll take care of it.

How can you? You're drunk.

A couple of drinks. Look don't worry.

I'll get Randy back for us Barb. I promise.

Hold on to this for me will you please?

Ricky, you're not under arrest.

But I need you to come with me right now. Get in the cab.

What are you talking about Lahey?

Can't you see I'm trying to do my eating with my family.

Ricky, I know we have an agreement, but I will bust you for cultivation of marijuana if you don't come with me right now.

Plus I will spray you with this pepper spray and your whole family.

I need your help. Get in the cab.

Meter's ticking boy.

Phil, stop the car Phil. Turn the engine off.

I can't hear him. Sam, Sam, where are you?

At the moose. Alright buddy. I'll come.

I'll be there in twenty minutes. He's gone.

We gotta get to the moose and save Randy.

Lahey, this is f*cked.

I know Ricky. I know it's f*cked.

That's why you're the only one with the mind f*cked up enough to figure this out and help me save Randy.

Well, that may be true.

But you forget, I don't give a f*ck about you and Randy.

Listen, it's your fault.

You're the one that made the god-damned phone calls during the Cheeseburger Picnic that got Sam fired. It's your responsibility.

Alright, I think I can figure a way out of this.

But you gotta let me do the talking or Randy's going to get sh*t, cause you're f*cking wasted. How much money have you got?

Two hundred and fourteen dollars.

That's it?

Yeah. That's a lot of money Rick.

Phil let's go. You know where the moose is? Let's go.

Alright, there they are.

I don't know Lahey though, I'm pretty f*cking drunk.

Liquor makes it easier Rick. Flow with it.

Go with the liquor bud.

Alright, you start walking down, distract them.

I'm going to flank them around the beach.

Alright, what about Phil Collins?

I'll take him with me for cover.

Okay, here I go.

Get the f*ck out of the car, Phil. We're going for a walk.

Jesus, I can't do this. f*ck. This is crazy.

I'm getting too old.

Would you shut the f*ck up?

I'm shutting up. I'm shutting the f*ck up.

You're not shutting up, shut the f*ck up Phil.

You better have my f*cking money Lahey, or Randy's dead.

(g*n sh*t)

He's serious Mr. Lahey.

Cooler heads. Let's just take it easy boys.

Just bring me my money, let's go.

f*ck!

What the f*ck! I told you to come alone.

(g*n sh*ts)

(g*n sh*ts)

What the f*ck is this? Come out of there.

Who's down there?

Put the f*cking g*n down Sam.

Ricky? What are you doing with Lahey?

Get out of here. Get out of here.

We're coming up you fucker. Put the g*n down before someone gets hurt.

Where's my f*cking money?

Sam, you're f*cking losing it bud.

Take off your sunglasses and look at the god-damned situation here.

I have a human house. Go ahead.

You can't even f*cking sh**t me. You see that.

I don't even want to sh**t you Ricky. I just want my f*cking money.

Alright, I'm coming out.

Me too. Don't f*cking move.

We got two hundred and fourteen dollars for you.

That's not even f*cking close.

Randy's dead, that's it.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm coming out again.

What?

I'm the one who called your company to get the park paved at the Cheeseburger Picnic alright.

I'm f*cking sorry.

You did that?

Yes and I feel really really bad about it Sam.

That's the only reason I'm here right now, dealing with this bullshit okay.

Well Ricky, I just don't want to go to jail man.

Sam, we're going to give you two hundred and fourteen bucks.

I'll give you a pound of weed myself. You can sell that, make two or three grand.

You're laughing.

Two hundred and fourteen dollars Sam.

I have your word?

You got my word.

It's a good deal Sam.

Okay, well give me the f*cking cab driver too.

I don't want to get stuck out here.

Phil, get the f*ck over here, you loud mouth talking prick.

Get over there. Take him.

Come on, go start the f*cking car.

I'll be back for my dope Ricky.

You know where I live Sam.

Okay.

Are you okay boy?

I'm okay Mr. Lahey.

Thanks a lot bud. Fun drinking with you.

Actually I had a really good time getting drunk with you.

Give you a lift home bud?

Yeah, sounds good. Hey, you know what Jim.

You want to quit the liquor. Start smoking dope. You can buy it off me.

(car engine revving)

One thing I'll say about Lahey, Randy and Barb, and I can't believe I am saying it, is they're being totally cool.

They're going along with the peace treaty just like they said they would.

Lahey's finally chilled out. He's off the liquor and hard on the dope, just like I told him.

Those guys are buying so much god-damned dope off me, it's ridiculous.

I don't give a f*ck. It's twelve bucks a gram to them just like everybody else.

I'm warning you guys, small joints.

But they don't f*cking listen to me.

They roll this big f*ck clobbering joints they try to cook for Barb, and they f*ck up cause they're so baked.

This looks fantastic Randy.

Thanks Barb. Ah! Hog's cock.

You know, I really think we can lick this together Jim.

There you go Mr. Lahey.

Thanks Randy.

(sound of Randy fighting with oven door)

Randy?

Ah, balls.

Randy, Randy, Randy.

My dad's the assistant trailer park supervisor now.

He just f*cking loves it.

I mean, he basically doesn't do a f*cking thing.

Just drives around, has some drinks and says hi to people. It's awesome.

How's she going?

Fifty-two hundred bucks a year.

Come on, life's good.

Way of the road, boys.

The Scooby dumb cock brothers are still running that stupid f*cking store.

I see those guys once in a while when I need cigarettes for me and my dad.

That's about it. Those guys have got to get their sh*t together.

Like Julian. I mean, he's really got his sh*t together these days.

I mean, a lot of people just think Julian's this big tough guy cause of his big muscles and everything but what they don't realize is he's got the biggest heart of anybody in this trailer park. I mean, who else would buy up all the trailer's of the people that got evicted and renovate them and then give them right back to them you know, at a reduced rate of what they were going to be getting charged for them?

That takes a big heart, and that's what Julian has.

Oh what!

And Bubbles' Kittyland. That's booming, isn't it Bubbs?

Booming.

(cat meowing)

Thanks to Channel 10 interview.

Somehow it worked. It's fullalmost every day.

(cat purring)

Life for me now is just so f*cking great.

I just grow lots of dope, spend time with Lucy and Trin, cooking for them and stuff.

I'm not allowed in the trailer yet, but things are going really really well.

And Lucy is being so f*cking cool.

I get drunk three or four times a week with my friends.

And get stoned, play video games.

I don't know how life can get any better than this.

(music)