01x04 - A Better Class of MAD; Cough Due to Claw

[bunniefuu]

[TITLE MUSIC]

[SIREN WAILS]

♪ Inspector... Gadget! ♪
♪ Inspector Gadget! ♪
♪ Inspector... Gadget! ♪
♪ Inspector Gadget! ♪
♪ Go Go Gadget, Go! ♪
♪ Go Go Gadget, Go! ♪
♪ Inspector... Gadget! ♪
♪ Inspector Gadget! ♪
♪ Go Go Gadget, Go! ♪
♪ Inspector Gadget! ♪

[CROWD CHEERING]

Thank you! Thank you!

Hooray!

Two more MAD agents puy away.

It's like MAD agents have never been on an ice cream heist before!

We are kinda scraping the bottom of the henchman barrel.

Enlistment's down 80%! We need to be hip, edgy!

We need star power!

But our recruitment video already has that stuff covered.

[DISCO MUSIC]

Sick and tired of not being a MAD henchman?

Well I'm Doc Claw, and I want you to join the league of MAD operatives and take over the world... ya dig?

We will train you in one of the following MAD specialties: MAD Control Room Guard, MAD Button Pusher, MAD Scientist, MAD Screen Watcher, MAD Sleeping Guard, MAD Cat Brusher, MAD Narrator for Recruitment Videos.

So don't be a... jive turkey.

Join MAD and... keep on truckin'!

Pretty good, right? [CHUCKLES]

How can you improve on perfection?

But Uncle Claw, your video is so dated it would only attract henchmen your age.

And what's wrong with that?

Oh, nothing. Nothing!

Um, I'm just saying maybe we need someone who... who's already a big star to attract better henchmen.

Fine. Go ahead and make me a new recruitment video.

Already done.

What a movie! That Tag Shrapnel makes being a Secret Agent look so amazing, I almost want to be one!

Inspector Gadget.

Wowzers! Chief! Nice 3-D effects!

Here's your new mission!

Action Star Tag Shrapnel, went missing while on vacation at Isla Diabolico Resort. MAD involvement suspected.

Your mission: stop MAD's evil plan and rescue Tag.

This message will self-destruct.

What would MAD want with Tag?

I don't know Penny, but I bet it's something evil.

You can count on us, Chief!

[BOOM!]

[SIGH]

[THUD]

Whoa! Whoa! [SPLASH]

Wowsers! This resort has everything!

Pools, restaurants, restaurants in pools, they even claim to have their very own mud monster!

Welcome to Isla Diabolico!

My name is Madalena and I am here to serve your every desire.

Should you have any questions...

Ooh, I've got a question!

Is Diabolico Jungle actually home to a mud monster named The Slopsquatch?

Oh no, no, no.

Until the resort opened, the Slopsquatch was Diabolico's top tourist draw.

But, of course, he is merely a colourful local legend.

Highly suspicious... the fact that people believe Slopsquatch to be a legend might actually be proof that he is not, in fact, a legend.

[GROANS]

Oh-kay?

Now, can I interest the young lady in our famous Diabolico seaweed wrap skin treatment?

You know, for your terrible dry skin.

Thanks, but... Wait, what?! My skin isn't... anyway, we have a lot of... exploring to do, right?

Right, Penny.

As you wish.

Okay, this is a big resort, and Tag Shrapnel could be anywhere.

So why don't we split up and look for clues?

We could do that... or we could look for clues and then split up.

Time's up, Prime Minister!

I'm afraid the world has seen its last full moon! [LAUGH]

Talon: Cut!

[CHOKE COUGH]

[WHISPERS]

Sorry, Director Talon, sir? Is this collar necessary?

It's really pulling me out of the scene.

Tag, baby, for the last time, you're a prisoner.

Remember? We kidnapped you?

Bag on your head? Long car ride?

The collar makes sure you won't try to escape since it will fry your brain if you do.

Right! It's like... that movie I was in where I was a prisoner of my own mind, and in the end, my mind turned out to be me the whole time.

OK, I'm gonna use that! Thanks!

Gadget and that pesky niece of his are here.

-Awaiting instructions.

Instructions? Really?

Have you not been paying attention for the past 30 years???

Destroy Gadget!

Can we get back to sh**ting the recruitment video?

[COMMUNICATOR RINGS]

Talon!

Oh, hey! Uncle Claw! How are you?

Are we on schedule?

Yes! Yes, of course!

We're getting some great stuff with Tag Shrapnel!

Gadget just arrived on the island. He must not interrupt production.

Gadget?! Here?! Ugh!

I don't have time for this!

Hey, does that mean Penny's here too?

Penny who?... Just get to work!

Well hello there, Talon.

Hey, Madalena.... Yeah, Gadget's here.

Make you a deal, you bring me Penny, after she's had the star treatment and I'll bring you Gadget.

Okay, little man. You've got yourself a deal.

Great! Let's do brunch sometimes. Bye bye!

Brain, I'm at the Spa. There's no way a Hollywood action hero could pass up a honey-cucumber facial.

Tag must be in their appointment book.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, hi Madalena! How's it going?

Well hello my dear.

You simply must try the Diabolico ultimate relaxation massage.

Oh, thanks, but I don't have time...

You should spend what little time you have left... at the resort of course! [CHUCKLES] Come come!

[FOOTSTEPS]

[GROWLS]

[COMMUNICATOR RINGS]

[GASPS]

Sorry we got cut off. I was... really enjoying this! Seriously, you should give it a try.

[GROWLS]

Oh right, focus. You find anything yet?

Movie cameras?

Inspector Gadget is on the trail of the elusive Slopsquatch.

And these look just like Slopsquatch tracks!

Aha! MAD isn't involved in Tag's disappearance!

The Slopsquatch is holding Tag prisoner!

Wow. No wonder people want to be movie stars so bad!

[DISAPPROVING GROWL]

Aw, come on, don't be like that.

Here, try one of Madalena's dog biscuits!

[MUSIC]

How's it look in the dungarees?

Do you buy that it's a henchman's butt?

It looks fine, Tag.

Are we talking... "island in the middle of nowhere" fine? or "brooding Hollywood action star fine"? Hm?

This is the life, huh Brain?

Ahhh, I see you're totally relaxed?

Oh, Madalena! This is heaven!

You can finally drop your guard!

That's... an odd way to put it, but yeah! I guess I can!

What the... [YELP!]

[SCREAMS!]

Slopsquatch!

Huh?

Halt! Go Go Gadget something to follow him with!

You've got her? Great!

No, still sh**ting the last scene.

I know it's taking forever, this guy is impossible!

[HOWLING]

Stop where you are, Slopsquatch! I have you surrounded!

Go Go Gadget handcuffs!

[SCREAM!]

Tag Shrapnel!

I knew the Slopsquatch had you hidden around here somewhere!

Nothing gets past my keen Gadget investigation skills!

Yeah, really keen. Everyone take five!

Time to make a trade.

You know, I'm just not sure which tool to use on your uncle.

[BRAIN YELPING]

[SCREAM!]

Slopsquaaaatch!!!

[SCREAMING]

Brain, I'm so sorry I got carried away with the star treatment!

[MUFFLED WHIMPERS]

Talon has Uncle Gadget?! Well not for long!

[FLIES BUZZING]

Maybe you should do a quick rinse in the pool first.

Eww.

Okay, catch Gadget, done. Trade him for Penny, almost done.

Finish the video with an unconscious lead actor... [SNORING]

...I can work with that.

I'll give you something to work with!

Penny! That was an awful line!

Penny! Stand aside!

That young man is working with the Slopsquatch!

Uncle Gadget, there's no such thing as a Slopsquatch.

[ROARING!]

You won't get away from me this time, monster!

Go Go Gadget handcuffs!

Woa-aah!

[ROARS]

Brain! You can stop pretending to be the Slopsquatch already!

Brain? But that's not you, then who is...

[BOTH] Slopsquatch!

[ROARS]

Okay folks! That's a wrap!

One way or another, I'm bringing you in for kidnapping Tag, Slopsquatch!

Go Go Gadget Slopsquatch trap!

[FIREWORKS]

Um, it's scared of an expl*si*n?

Um, he doesn't like loud noises and he says that he wasn't attacking you guys, he was just scared because everyone was making so much noise!

What? I picked up a bit of the language while dating a co-star on the set of Lost In Slopsquatchion.

Of course, I should have known!

I guess my Slopsquatch is a little rusty.

Great job, Gadget! It looks like you've done it again.

Gadget outsmarted us again, Uncle Claw. But I managed to save the film footage! The new recruitment video will make MAD the most powerful evil empire in history...

Bah, we're scrapping your video.

Tag Shrapnel was a nincompoop anyway, and MADcat has all the star power we need!

Don't you kitty? Yes!

[PENNY GRUNTS IN EFFORT]

Almost there. Just a few seconds more!

Oh, hi Penny... I've used my skills of detection and I've come to the conclusion... that I'm perfectly fine.

Yeah, right. You have the flu.

I've got some soup for you.

You need to eat, and then get some more rest.

But I can't rest. Evil doesn't rest.

Go Go... Gadget... pillow fluffer...

[YAWNS]

Let me help you.

Penny, I think that fruit bowl is spying on me.

Ah! Chief Quimby!

Gadget, I see you're still sick.

I have a new mission, but maybe I should just give it to...

ME!...

I have to get out of here... please?

Well, okay.

A MAD agent has been breaking into museums and stealing their priceless artifacts for Dr. Claw.

Your mission is to find out who is taking all of the stuff, and put a stop to it...

This message may self-destruct.

[WHIMPERS]

[PHEW!]

A thief? Pffft, I can handle that!

[SIGHS] I'm not so sure that's a good idea, you're still an agent in training...

I'll stay in constant contact with Uncle Gadget, I promise.

[AH-CHOO!]

Hey, maybe you could watch Uncle Gadget while I'm g...

No.

[GRUNTS]

Be ready for anything Brain.

This is the best game of all time!

He may just be my best MAD agent yet!

With all these priceless artifacts, we can finally decorate your room, MADcat!

It could really use some colour to make it pop!

[EVIL LAUGH]

Looks like the thief is at it again.

Did you see those moves?

I didn't even get a change to take a scan!

And what was that light?

I guess we should get back to Uncle Gadget.

You can probably put your hands down now.

There's no info about this mystery guy anywhere.

Uugh! I got nothin...

What would Uncle Gadget do?

I think I'b feelin bedder.

Ahhhh.

Oh. Wow.

I should probably get you a breath mint or something.

Brain, could you make Uncle Gadget some mint tea?

I wonder if there's enough security footage to make a composite picture.

Uncle Gadget, you're not helping!... and neither is this picture... though... it is kinda familiar.

[SIGH] We're always a step behind the MAD agent. So... we need to be not a step behind him!

Brain! I know how to catch the spy!

We'll be back in little while. Remember to get some sleep!

Thag you for the teah.

[SNEEZE]

[GROWLS]

Don't think I forgot about you, fruit spy bowl.

I can play this game all night...

[SNORTS]

Aaah!

Ahem.

Just thought I'd check in on my favorite agent in training.

Is the trap set?

It is.

The ruby's a fake but it should look real enough for the MAD agent to try and steal it.

Good luck, Penny.

There he is! He's not going to know what hit him.

Uncle Gadget?

[LASER HUMS]

[BOOM!]

[WEAPONS FIRE]

[EXPLOSIONS, GRUNTING]

[WIND HOWLS]

Uncle Gadget's G-Portal! What's going on?

Brain, I can't believe that Uncle Gadget is the thief!

Uncle Gadget! What... did you... Uncle Gadget, wake up!!!

Oh, hi Penny.

It's you! You're the thief!

We were there. Why are you stealing things?!

You can't be working for Claw... you just can't!

...I would never work for Dr. Claw!

I know what I saw with my own two eyes, not to mention the thousand cameras I set up at the museum!

Wowsers! I look terrible!

Ah... ah... ahh... [SNEEZE]

[LOUD SNORE]

Ew!!! So, so gross.

Please tell me there's some tissue left?!

Wait a sec. This goo is tingling.

[GASP] That's not goo!

Those are nano-bots! Brain!

Uncle Gadget isn't an evil secret MAD agent!

He's being remote controlled by an evil secret MAD agent! Yes!

Ooh! I can trace the nano-bot's remote signal and find out who's controlling him!

[YELPS]

[LASERS FIRE]

Uncle Gadget! Wake up!!!

Aw man, I could play this for days.

Yes, I know what you mean, this book I'm reading... is also playable... for days... wanna trade?

Not a chance.

Looks like it could be fun, you know, if you were into that sort of childish thing.

It's awesome. I programmed some pret-ty cool combination moves into the nano software. [GROWLS]

Gadget has never fought this good.

Hey! Don't lose my high score!!

[GADGETS GRINDING]

[LAUGHTER]

[GIGGLES]

Your turn is a lot longer than anyone else's turn!

Hey, hey, I may be evil, but I draw the line at turn-taking. It's your turn.

[LAUGHS] Kidding, still me!

[MONKEY SOUNDS, 8-BIT VIDEO GAME FX]

Um... not sure what just happened but I gotta track that signal!

I found the source!

It's an abandoned video game warehouse. Let's go!

[PUNCHING, SNORING]

Hey, stop hitting yourself!

Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

[LAUGHS]

[BEEPING]

[GASP!]

I've managed to freeze time! I... am... amazing!!!

No, you just hit pause.

Oh, well, fine. How do I restart it?

No, see, you have to hold the button and move the toggle at the same time. No the other button.

The button not the trigger.

Gah, here just let me...

I've got it!

Leave me alone! I command it!

Fine. Whatever. You're just going to lose them.

They're getting away!

[BRAIN WHIMPERS]

Well I can't exactly drive without a licence now can I!?

Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road!

This is it, Brain! The video game warehouse.

[CRASH!]

Um... okay?

[8-BIT VIDEO GAME SOUNDS]

Um, there aren't any coins there. Wrong game.

Maybe there is?! You don't know!!

I do know they're right outside! Man, you're so bad at this.

[SPARKS]

It must be broken.

Yeah, it's broken, that's it.

There's the signal controlling Uncle Gadget.

Just a couple more seconds.

Talon: Aw, look at that. She's doing research or something.

That's cute. Oh, and let me show you what "good" actually looks like.

[RAPID PUNCHING SOUNDS]

[BRAIN WHIMPERS]

Ah-ha!!

Oh, come on! Seriously?! She is so lucky!!

Or maybe she just showed you what "good " actually looks like.

Now to extract those nano-bots from Uncle Gadget.

It looks like all the nano-bots are gone.

At least you don't have to worry about germs any more.

[SIGHS] Wowsers! I feel like I've been napping for days!

Oh no, they're getting away with all the stolen loot!!

I'll get you next time Gadget!

Thanks! Bud I don't need a ride strange yelling man.

Go Go Gadget Copter!

[LASER FIRES]

[CRASH]

Nooo!

Penny, because you did so well on this mission,

I'd like you to be in charge of returning all of the artifacts to the museums.

Wow, Chief. Thanks for trusting me!

Gadget, once again, thank you for a job well done.

Why, you're welcome Chief, I do love a good nap.

[SNEEZE]

Oh no... those nano-bots must have given Uncle Gadget an actual flu!

[ALL SCREAMING]

Where's everyone going?

Oh, you're still here fruit bowl. I've got my eye on you.