01x13 - Totally Clean

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Devious Maids". Aired June 23, 2013 - August 8, 2016.*
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"Devious Maids" centers on a close-knit group of Latina maids, who are bonded together, working in the mansions of Beverly Hills' wealthiest and most powerful families, life struggles and the melodramatic universe that engulfs their employers.
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01x13 - Totally Clean

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Devious Maids...

This picture could destroy his career.

We need to get him married.

I know just the girl.

I've got to get away from my family, you know?

It's a group of doctors who go to third world countries.

He wants me to go with him.

I've written a note.

It explains why you want her to stay... and why you needed to leave without saying good-bye.

I'll bet there's a legal way to get Miguel in the country.

I get to rescue the little Mexican boy, not you.

And to think you wanted me to wait.

What?

This is where Adrian used to videotape Flora having sex.

Marisol's real name is Suarez.

She's the mother of the boy that the police arrested.

This woman...

She's trying to hurt me.

Will I need a g*n?

Call 911! Now!

(Siren wailing)

What do we got?

Female, early thirties, g*nsh*t wound to the abdomen, B.P. is 80 over 40.

Pulse?

120. Respiratory rate 12.

Bay two. Get moving.

Doctor! Doctor!

I thought you should know my wife.

She's pregnant.

We'll do what we can.

(Door opens and closes)

(Sighs) I spoke to the doctor.

Did he tell you?

I am so sorry.

(Voice breaks) I always wanted a little girl.

(Sighs)

Michael, I hate to ask.

Then don't.

I need to know.

Did Phillipe frame my son for m*rder*r?

I won't discuss that.

Why are you still protecting him?

I'm not. He will pay for this.

But what about Flora?

If he's responsible for her death...

Nothing I could tell you about that can be used against him.

Don't you get it?

It'd be throwing away my career, and you still wouldn't be able to touch Phillipe!

(Taylor, weakly) Michael?

Hey.

I thought you were sleeping.

(Whispering) Tell her.

What?

Tell Marisol what she needs to know.

(Lowered voice) Honey, I'm his lawyer.

I can lose my license to practice.

That man k*lled our baby.

(Sighs)

Where should I start?

Tell me about the night Flora Hernandez was m*rder*d.

1.13 - Totally Clean Odessa! Welcome home.

It's so good to see you.

How are you feeling?

The doctors say she's made a full recovery.

Is it nice to be back?

The house is filthy.

You haven't gone inside yet.

I can just tell.

(Mouth full) Oh, my God.

(Fork clinks)

What do you call this?

Chilaquiles. You like?

Very much.

You want more?

I've got plenty.

Maybe just a little.

(Chuckles)

You sure are spoiling me lately.

Why shouldn't I?

Everything you've done for Miguel and me.

My pleasure.

He's such a nice boy.

(Cell phone rings)

Oh, that's my phone.

Sweetie, can you bring me my teléfono?

Por favor?

(Ring)

(Ring)

(Ring) And he does just what I tell him.

I love that.

(Beep)

Hi.

Yeah, I'm on my way.

What smells so good?

Rosie made the most delicious breakfast. Mwah!

I'd have more, but I gotta run.

(Footsteps retreat)

So...

(Door opens)

Can I have a plate of that?

(Door closes)

(Thuds)

All gone.

(Pan clatters)

How many times can I say, "I'm sorry"?

Never enough for what you did.

I admit it.

I tried to stop Peri from bringing Miguel here, but only because I didn't want you to feel you owed her something.

Well, I do.

I owe her everything.

Right! I knew it would be better for our relationship if you owed me.

What?!

You know what I mean.

I wanted to bring Miguel here because I wanted to show you how much I loved you.

We've been together for months.

And you never got him.

Maybe you don't love me as much as you think.

(Sighs)

(Door closes)

Hey, guys!

Good morning, Valentina.

It's so nice to see you.

What are you doing here?

I've been trying to reach Remi all morning.

He won't pick up.

Oh, he's probably just sleeping in.

Go knock on his door.

I want to show Valentina my wedding dress.

(Gasps)

(Chuckles)

(Chuckles)

(Gasps) Pretty.

But why such a thick veil?

It'll be my fourth wedding in this church.

If the minister recognizes me, I'm toast.

Mm.

(Sam) Okay. All right.

Are you good?

Yes. Yes.

While you get her settled, I'll take her suitcases to her room, okay?

Thanks, baby.

All right.

All right. (Chuckles)

Thank you.

So... I guess you and Sam are a couple.

We're moving in together.

Are you surprised?

A little.

I thought he had better taste.

Well, you must be feeling better if you're insulting me.

(Chuckles)

(Chuckles) Much better.

If I didn't say so before... thank you for everything you did.

It's my pleasure.

Alejandro wanted to be here, but he had a meeting with his agents.

To do damage control?

So you heard about the big news.

I have.

Did you know Alejandro was gay?

Didn't have a clue.

I wish I had.

It would have made things easier.

Easier?

This may shock you, but...

Alejandro is not just a friend to me.

I have feelings for him.

I'm not shocked.

I kept thinking maybe one day he would notice me, but... he never did.

Now you know why.

(Chuckles)

Honestly, it's a relief.

(Chuckles) If I can't have him, at least no other woman will take my place.

(Chuckles)

Are you ready for lunch?

I made you paella.

Mm. It's too spicy.

You haven't tasted it yet.

Mm. I can just tell.

I love this detail.

I've never seen that.

Remi's not in his room.

He's not?

All his things are gone.

I found these notes on his pillow.

There's one for each of you.

Oh, my God.

What is it?

He went to Africa.

He left last night.

He says he wants to help vaccinate people in the Congo.

Sounds like the worst vacation ever.

I don't think it's a vacation.

Oh, my God. You're right.

He says he'll be gone for a whole year.

Valentina, did you know about this?

He told her he wanted to join doctors doing humanitarian work.

Then he asked her to go with him.

Then why would he leave without telling her?

This doesn't sound like Remi.

I need to call him.

He's not answering his phone.

Remember?

Oh.

Well, then I'll just leave a message for him at his hotel.

Is there a Mandarin Oriental in the Congo?

I don't know.

I don't understand this.

Africa of all places.

If he wanted to help poor people, why couldn't he just go to Burbank?

(Footsteps retreat)

What does your note say?

It doesn't matter.

Excuse me.

Uh, next up...

The Lamborghini.

I want that.

No, you don't.

I do. I really do.

It has a stick shift.

I'll hire a chauffeur.

I said no.

She gave you the Picasso.

I just had the upholstery redone... in mohair.

The seats are so soft.

She's doing it out of spite.

Okay. Okay.

For God sakes, Evelyn.

What would you ever do with a Lamborghini?

Well...

I suppose I could have my new chauffeur drive me to your house.

And then once we were parked just beneath your bedroom window, my new chauffeur and I could make love on your mohair upholstery.

Or if you feel that's spiteful, I-I really don't know what to tell you.

(Door opens)

Excuse me.

Have you guys heard the news?

We're in a meeting, Rickey.

I'm so sorry, but...

Michael Stappord's wife was sh*t.

What?!

Yeah, it's on the news.

She's in the hospital.

Do they know who did it?

No. It was like a sn*per or something.

Oh, my God!

You know the Stappords, don't you?

We do.

And I hear Taylor lost the baby.

(Man) I didn't even know she was pregnant.

(Woman) They had just found out.

Well, we've got to send a card or some flowers or something.

(Woman) I'll chip in if you add my name to the card.

Oh, absolutely.

Now I got to tell Mr. Hemstead what happened.

(Crying)

Adrian?

We're going home now.

Uh...

Shall we reschedule?

We'll call you later.

(Glasses clatter)

In other news, a woman is in critical condition after she was sh*t last night in front of her Beverly Hills home.

31-year-old Taylor Stappord suffered a single g*nsh*t wound to the abdomen.

Police are calling the att*ck "bizarre and unmotivated."

A spokesman for the department says the suspect is still at large.

Wall Street is riding high after yesterday's big rally...

Well, if you do hear anything, please tell him to call his mother.

(Sighs) Thank you.

(Telephone beeps and clatters)

I talked to all of Remi's friends, and no one knew what he had planned.

Well, he's a grown man.

He'll be fine.

But to just run off like that...

I don't understand it.

I do.

Yeah, there's something to be said for... leaving your responsibilities behind and... starting a new adventure.

What are you thinking?

Let's elope.

What?

I feel the need to be alone with you in some exotic locale.

That does sound romantic.

When would we leave?

Tonight.

Well, now you're just being silly.

What about our engagement party?

Oh, that. Well...

(Chuckles)

We could go after the party?

Are you sure you don't want to get married in Beverly Hills?

It will affect the quality of gifts we receive.

We have each other.

We don't care about material things anymore.

Oh.

You'll have to remind me of that from time to time.

So you'll pack your bags?

Of course.

(Chuckles)

So... where do we want to go?

I've always wanted to visit Brunei.

That's where my business manager went.

You know, the man who stole all my money?

Really?

Oh, yes.

Apparently, we don't have an extradition treaty with Brunei.

You don't say. Hmm.

Yeah, till she says no, but she's not gonna say...

You wanted to see me?

Come in, Carmen.

I want to introduce you to my team.

This is Roger, my publicist, Max, my agent.

And Gary is my... my lawyer.

Guys, this is Carmen... my maid.

Alejandro tell us you're a very talented singer.

That's nice of you.

(Chuckles)

He also tell us that you're very ambitions.

(Chuckles) Why would you tell them that?

As you know, Alejandro's private life has recently become grist for the tabloid mill.

So?

So...

We have a proposition for you.

As you can see, the contract is rather straightforward.

And this is all guaranteed.

We will produce your album.

And then you'll go on tour, appear on talk shows...

And, of course, you'll be paid.

It's everything you've ever wanted.

If I pretend to be your wife.

You will be his wife.

The ceremony will be legal.

(Max) But it'll just be for two years.

And then you'll have irreconcilable differences, and it'll all be over.

You divorced your first husband for the same reasons.

No one will even think twice.

(Papers rustle)

What about Sam?

What about Sam?

We're supposed to move in together.

Um... you won't be able to date, not while you're married to Alejandro.

What if I saw him... secretly?

It's risky. The tabloids are always watching.

So you're asking me to give him up?

It's just for two years.

And think of what you're getting in return.

This is a favor to me... obviously.

And if you say "no," we're cool.

But if you do this, people will hear you sing.

You can finally share your music with the world.

(Max) So what do you say, Carmen?

Are you ready to be famous?

Can I talk to you?

I'm busy.

Please.

I have something important I want to say.

I know everything that you will say, and none of it is important.

You know that I want to marry you.

And I have said "no."

Rosie...

It does not matter how much you love me.

I have to do the right thing, and there is nothing you can say that will change my mind.

And I also want to adopt Miguel.

(Cell phone rings)

(Ring)

(Beep)

(Miguel) Hola?

Hey, Miguel.

It's Mrs. Westmore.

I need to talk to your mother about dinner tonight.

Give the teléfono to your mamacita.

Okay.

Think of it.

If you marry me and I adopt Miguel, he'd be an American citizen and no one could ever deport him.

And we would be a family.

Can you imagine a more perfect life?

It sounds wonderful.

So?

I cannot humiliate Mrs. Peri.

But I would make you happy for the rest of your life.

There is a reason why they call it, um...

"Doing the right thing."

Because it is always very hard to do.

I understand.

(Rosie chuckles, sniffles)

You're a good person.

That's why I fell in love with you.

And you're a good man.

That's why I love you.

Mami?

(Gasps)

(Sniffles)

Mijo, you found my phone.

(Beep)

(Speaks Spanish)

Hey, hey.

It's moving day.

Let me guess.

You haven't started packing yet. (Chuckles)

That is so typical.

But...

(Box thuds) No worries.

I will help you.

What's with the velvet box?

And if the first album sells over 100,000 copies, the label is contractually obligated to produce the second one.

(Chuckles)

Of course, even if the album is a huge hit, the marriage will be done in two years.

That's definite.

So I guess what I'm asking is...

Are you willing to... to wait for me?

(Chuckles)

Sure.

Really?!

Of course.

(Exhales deeply)

I'm more than happy to put my life on hold for two years while you enter into a fake marriage with a celebrity.

I mean what guy wouldn't agree to that?

Okay, hold on...

But I suppose the men with at least a molecule of self-respect might have an issue with this.

But we both know that I'm a loser and I'll agree to anything.

Right?

Sam, you're not a loser.

Oh.

Well, in that case...

I know.

I know it's a lot to ask, but these people are offering me everything I've ever wanted!

I thought I was what you wanted!

Well, you are, of course.

You just said that two days ago.

You want me...

More than a career, more than success.

Which is it, Carmen?

I want it all.

You can't have it all.

You're gonna have to choose.

(Scoffs)

Sam. Come here.

Sam, Sam!

Sam, please!

Sam, wait!

Wait!

Sam, let's talk about this.

(Door slams)
(Odessa and Alejandro arguing indistinctly)

(Odessa) Why do you have to go that far?!

It doesn't make any sense!

(Alejandro) It... it is for my career.

(Odessa and Alejandro continue arguing indistinctly)

Odessa, Odessa, it's already final.

I don't understand!

Stop it!

What is going on?

I told Odessa we were getting married, and she freaked out.

I don't know what's going on.

Listen, I...

Uvas.

(Thuds)

Mango.

(Thuds)

So...

Do you want some new outfits?

I thought we could go shopping later.

(Sighs)

Honey...

I know you're sad about Remi.

But he'll be back.

And you'll pick up where you left off.

Why would you think that?

Because... he adores you.

I don't think he does.

You're wrong.

It's like you said.

Why would a boy like Remi love me?

I'm nothing.

Remi loves you very much.

I know this.

How?

(Sighs)

Because I saw the look on his face when I asked him to write you that note.

What?

It was me.

I begged him to go without you.

He didn't want to go.

(Voice breaking) Oh, my God.

I'm so... I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God.

Sweetheart! Wait. No! Wait!

Wait! Wait! I was only trying to protect you.

Don't touch me!

(Buttons clicking)

(Beep)

(Cell phone chimes)

(Cell phone chimes)

(Cell phone chimes)

(Rosie) Marisol!

Hey.

(Carmen) We got your text.

We're in absolute shock.

How is Taylor?

She's gonna be okay.

(Rosie) Thank God.

Did you see what happened?

I was inside the house.

So this was an accident, right?

Why would anybody want to sh**t Taylor Stappord?

Actually... I think they were trying to sh**t me.

Are you kidding?

No.

Why would anybody want to sh**t you?

Because of what I know, what I've learned.

What are you talking about?

My real name... is Marisol Suarez.

And I'm not a maid.

But you work for the Stappords.

I've seen you take out their trash.

Actually, I'm a college professor.

And I only took this job to become friends with all of you.

Why?

So I could learn everything you knew about Flora Hernandez.

That boy that k*lled Flora?

His name was Suarez.

Yes, Eddie is my son.

But he didn't k*ll nobody.

He was framed.

You knew about this?

Oh, oh, no. No.

I have evidence.

That's what I've been doing for the past weeks... learning about Flora's life.

And lying to us.

Guys, come on.

So if your son didn't k*ll Flora Hernandez, who did?

I think it was Phillipe Delatour.

But I'm gonna need help from all of you to prove it.

The caterers should be doing that.

Oh, it's all right.

I need to keep busy.

If you need any help...

I won't. But thank you.

(Phillipe) Anybody home?!

Ah!

(Chair scrapes floor) The man of the hour.

Your housekeeper told me I'd find you both back here.

Shouldn't you be at home getting ready for the party?

I'll just be here for a moment.

I have a little favor to ask.

Oh?

As soon as the party is over, I want to take Genevieve out of town for a romantic getaway.

That sounds lovely.

How can we help?

I was wondering if I could borrow your jet.

Obviously I'd pay for the fuel.

We don't really loan the jet.

Well, I could pay you, you know, whatever you need.

Then you could lease a plane.

Uh, it's such short notice.

Or fly commercial.

No, it has to be private.

Something happened?

Not at all.

Uh, just trying to do something nice for Genevieve.

Well, as... as much as we would like to help, Oh, there's no need to apologize.

You're throwing us an engagement party, for heaven's sake.

So we'll, uh, see you at 7:00?

Okay.

I'm so glad you ordered dahlias again.

They're my favorite.

Again?

Don't you use them at all your parties?

I've only used dahlias once before, actually...

The night our maid was m*rder*d.

Well...

I didn't go to that party.

So... you must have used them before.

Perhaps.

Okay.

I'll see you tonight.

(Door closes) What a liar.

He's not interested in a romantic getaway.

He needs to leave town for some reason.

That's not all he lied about.

He was here the night Flora was k*lled.

What?

I saw him... in the hallway.

Well, that was months ago.

How can you remember something like that?

Because I didn't invite him.

He and Genevieve were... were not on speaking terms.

I was so annoyed.

Why would Phillipe lie about something like that?

I don't know.

Unless...

What?

Did you ever involve Phillipe in your disgusting little hobby?

Oh, my God.

I say we go to the cops.

We can't.

But Phillipe confessed.

To Michael Stappord...

His lawyer.

Nothing Phillipe says to him can be used against him in a court of law.

Well, I have to tell Genevieve.

I can't let her marry a m*rder*r.

If Phillipe knows we're on to him, he will leave town, and my son will stay in jail.

No.

We have to keep quiet until I have absolute proof.

But how are we gonna do that?

Tonight is the Delatours' engagement party, right?

Yeah.

It's at the Powells' house.

Call Genevieve.

Tell her you're worried that the caterers haven't hired enough people for the party.

Luckily, you have a few friends who are willing to help out.

He had no right!

None whatsoever.

She was mine.

Flora belonged to me.

And Phillipe took her from you.

She told me she had been att*cked, but I didn't believe her.

How could you?

She was a liar.

She also showed me a tape of a meeting with Michael.

How he offered her money.

She seemed so... calculating, so manipulative...

She was manipulative.

That's what got her k*lled.

I hate Phillipe.

I want him to suffer for what he's done.

Is that wrong of me?

Evil is the thing that takes away the people we love.

It took our son.

And it took Flora.

No. It is never wrong to punish evil.

I want to be careful.

I don't want to get caught.

Don't worry.

I'll help you.

You would be willing to do this?

This morning you wanted to divorce me.

Love can't seem to unite us.

Why not try hatred?

Valentina?

I know you're in there.

Please let me in.

Listen, I have to leave for the party now.

But when I get home, we'll talk about what I've done, and then... I will beg for your forgiveness.

And I hope with all my heart you will give it to me.

Okay?

(Playing jazz)

(Laughs) We agree.

Hey.

Oh.

(Applause continues)

So... what do you think?

Everything is absolutely exquisite.

I think it's going to be a memorable evening.

You have no idea.

Zoila!

You look stunning!

Well, look at you.

Doesn't she look stunning?

Yes, she does.

She really does.

Thank you, Phillipe.

(Genevieve) Oh, you made it.

(Indistinct conversations)

(Laughter)

Hors d'oeuvre?

Thank you.

(Song ends, applause)

(Gasps)

(Gasps)

Evelyn.

What are you doing here?

I was... asked to work the party.

By whom?

Uh...

It doesn't matter.

You have to leave.

Security!

Listen...

(Whispers) Excuse me.

We have to do it now.

Already?

Evelyn's seen me.

We don't have much time.

I'll tell the girls.

And a C.E.O. Phillipe knows is lending us his private jet.

We leave tonight after the party.

Mm. Brunei sounds like fun.

Phillipe was joking we may not come back for years.

(Clinks)

(Both chuckle)

Later, when you have a moment, come find me.

I have a gift for you.

You and Evelyn have done too much for us as it is.

Well, this gift is just from me, and... it's only for you.

Mr. Delatour?

People are asking if you'd like to say something to the crowd.

That'd be great.

I'd love to say a few words.

We thought you might.

If I could have everyone's attention, please, I think it's time to hear from our guests of honor... the Delatours!

(Chuckles)

(Cheering)

Thank you. Thank you.

So...

Genevieve and I are getting married.

(Woman) Again.

It is a miracle to me that this amazing woman is giving me a second chance.

But I'm a changed man.

And I'm gonna do everything I can to...

To make her happy.

And he's off to a good start. (Chuckles)

Have you seen the ring?

(Woman whoops, cheering)

Thank you all so much for coming this evening.

(Applause continues)

I just want to tell you how happy I am for you.

And I am ready to give you and Phillipe my blessing.

Oh, Zoila!

Oh!

(Chuckles) Oh...

(Screams)

(Glass shatters)

Oh, my God!

I'm so sorry!

We need to get some water on this before it sets.

I'll be right back.

(Zoila) Come on, come on, let's get this dry.

(Indistinct conversations)

So what does this woman look like?

She's 5'6", 120 pounds, and... vaguely ethnic.

(Door slams)

(Metal clinks)

(Door creaks)

Do you know who I am?

Oh, yes.

Do you know who I am?

You're the mother of the boy who k*lled that maid.

Her name was Flora Hernandez, and my son didn't k*ll anyone.

Ah, yes, well...

I hear you've been asking some unpleasant questions about me.

(Beeps)

And I've been getting some interesting answers.

From whom?

Michael Stappord.

He's my lawyer.

He can't talk about me.

And yet... he did.

He told me about Adrian arranging for you to sleep with Flora.

But when she found out you were Remi's father, she refused... because she was dating your son.

But you're not the kind of man who likes to take "no" for an answer.

(Crying)

Weeks later, you found out she was carrying Remi's child, and she was demanding millions to keep it quiet.

So you came here... to a party you weren't invited to.

The waiters thought you were just another guest in a tux.

That's why they didn't notice when you took the Kn*fe.

(Scrapes)

You then went looking for Flora.

And you found her.

(Screams)

Even though you had stabbed her, somehow Flora managed to get away.

But before you could follow her, my son walked in...

At the wrong moment. so you hit him.

(Thuds)

And put the Kn*fe in his hand.

And my son was blamed for the death of a girl he loved.

(Sobbing) I stabbed her...

The next day, you told Michael what happened, and he kept your secret.

(Continues sobbing)

Until the b*llet you intended for me... k*lled his unborn child.

These are pathetic... lies.

I have evidence, and I'm going to the D.A. tomorrow.

(Sighs)

(Under breath) Come on. Say something.

Then why tell me?

(Scoffs) What?

If I'm so dangerous, why would you be here with me?

Do you want money?

Is that it?

No.

I just wanted to see your face, to see if you could appreciate the irony.

Irony?

You took the life of a maid, and now a maid is going to take yours.

(Whispers) I don't think so.

(Zings)

(Gasps)

There she is!

(Clinks) Sorry, ma'am... but you're gonna have to come with me.

I am so sorry.

I hope she wasn't bothering you?

Uh, not at all.

(Chuckles)

(Clacks and chimes)

Zoila, I have to find Phillipe!

Please stop dabbing me.

You have...

There's still a little left.

(Sighs)

Hey, look over there.

(Indistinct conversations)

(Sighs)

(Clinks)

There he is.

Adrian.

Listen, uh...

Genevieve and I will have to be going.

Not so fast.

I have a gift for you.

Remember?

I really don't have the time.

We've got a jet waiting for us.

Don't be rude. I put a lot of thought into this gift.

(Men speaking indistinctly)

Nothing on that tape comes close to a confession.

How am I ever gonna get Eddie out of jail?

(Sighs)

(Gulps) So...

Where is this gift?

Actually, what I have to offer comes in the form of advice.

Adrian, I told you we...

(Exhales)

Is there something wrong?

Just, I don't feel so good.

(Sets down glass)

My advice is this...

The trick to getting away with m*rder is not to let people think it was m*rder in the first place.

What?

You must create a plausible explanation for an unexpected death.

Such as su1c1de.

(Gasping)

(Faintly) What...

What did you do?

Not much is needed.

Something undetectable in a glass... to relax the muscles.

(Gasps)

And a witness to the victim's last words.

(Voice trembles) Uh, I don't understand.

(Gasps)

You k*lled my maid, you son of a bitch.

Don't you know how hard it is to find good help?

Has anybody seen Phillipe?

(Guests gasping and murmuring)

Aah!

(Indistinct conversations)

(Siren wailing in distance)

And then he shouted something to the effect that he had m*rder*d Flora Hernandez and couldn't live with himself anymore.

(Evelyn) And then he jumped out the window.

We were absolutely stunned.

It was just the two of you in the room?

There were no other witnesses to this proclamation?

What are you getting at?

Well, according to your party guests, he was only in the water for a minute.

But when they pulled him out, he was already dead.

That's odd.

(Rosie) Uh, we heard it, too.

We were in the hall outside that room...

(Carmen) Picking up napkins and... and glasses.

I was looking for a bathroom.

And we all heard a man yell, "I k*lled Flora Hernandez."

And then there was a splash.

Go call the D.A.

He's gonna want to know about this.

(Laughter)

(Speaking indistinctly)
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