01x02 - Guadalajara Dog

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Graceland". Aired: June 2013 to September 2015.*
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"Graceland" follows a newly-graduated FBI agent and five other undercover law enforcement officers from the FBI, DEA and US Customs, living together under one roof in a confiscated Southern California beach house known as "Graceland".
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01x02 - Guadalajara Dog

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Graceland...

We got a new agent coming in.

He's your new trainee. Name's Mike Warren.

Graduated top of his class at Quantico.

Hey, why do they call it Graceland?

When they seized it from this drug lord, he was apparently some hard-core Elvis fan.

The name just kinda stuck.

So you, me, Briggs, and Charlie are FBI.

Lauren and Donnie are DEA.

So is Paige, but she's on a case for a couple days.

Oh, and Jakes is customs.

The house is a tight fit.

You're gonna find out real fast there are no secrets at Graceland.

Except for Briggs.

Yeah.

Except for Briggs.

Give me the g*n, and get in the car.

This is your last chance.

Something's wrong.

Or what?

[g*nshots]

You saw the g*n?

Yeah, I see it right there.

Agent Briggs saved my life.

Your assignment is to investigate Briggs.

Will what he did affect that ability?

No, sir.

I heard they kinda slammed you with this job, huh?

[Sighs] Yeah. Yeah, they did.

No idea why?

No, sir.

[Rock music]

♪ ♪

[Dog barks]

♪ ♪

My main man Mike, what do you see, what do you feel, what do you think?

You know, I'm thinking this might not be too bad.

First thing you gotta do, figure out who the new Mike is in this world.

New Mike?

Yeah.

FBI agent Mike Warren can never be seen here, that's for damn sure.

They must always see you as someone else.

Mike the surf bum.

[Laughs]

Yeah, maybe when you can stay on your surfboard for more than eight seconds, we'll talk about that.

Ah. Who do they think you are?

They think I'm Paul, that I like motorcycles, and that I'm into Tae Bo.

That's it?

And rum.

It's vague.

Vague is good.

Details invite questions.

Questions are what can burn Graceland.

[Chuckles] Hey, hey.

My, my, my.

Johnny! What's up?

[Indistinct chatter]

Yo, Paul.

Hey.

Yo. Mikey, what up?

What's up?

Working on the new Mike.

That sounds like a lot of work, bro.

You boys up for a little Hector's?

Hell yeah.

What's Hector's?

Both: What's Hector's?

Hola, Hector.

Hola, Paul.

Can we get tres carnitas, tres Al pastor, y tres tacos de carne asada, por favor?

You ever had a taco so good you saw God?

Can't say I have.

Oh, my brother, you're about to join a cult.

Fire me up.

[Speaking Spanish]

Oy! You have to pay for that!

Hey, hey.

Get back here!

Mike! Mike!

You all right, man?

Johnny, stop him right now.

Aah!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Oh, help her.

Yeah, man.

Are you okay?

Stop! Hey! Hey!

Stop!

[Grunts]

What the hell are you doing, man?

What the hell are you doing, Mike?

Are you kidding me right now?

Easy, easy.

He's getting away.

Yeah, that's right.

Easy! Take it easy.

What the hell were you gonna do, flash your badge and cuff him?

What choice did I have? He hit that guy.

That's right, the FBI field manual clearly states that if we witness an act of v*olence, we must engage.

That's exactly right.

Screw the book. It wasn't written for you, okay?

You're an undercover agent.

That means your cover is everything.

Especially here. This is our home.

Dude, you almost b*rned Hector's tacos.

Well, he was robbing Hector's tacos.

Hector's tacos... sh*t's real!

If we pulled our badge on every single crime we saw, Graceland would be burnt in a week.

Yo, man, yo. Go join the LAPD if you want to catch a chips thief, bro.

Never again, Mike.

Hector's tacos! God!

[Upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[Water running]

♪ ♪

[Woman speaking Spanish on recording]

[Repeats Spanish]

♪ ♪

Mornin', sunshine.

Too happy. Too loud.

[Dog barks]

Hey, bud, remember me? Come on.

Come on.

♪ ♪

[Humming]

[Woman continues speaking Spanish on recording]

Morning, levi.

Morning.

Didn't get enough running in yesterday?

You heard.

Of course we heard.

Never burn Hector's, man. That sh*t is real.

I'm cool with Hector's, all right?

Morning, Charlie. Oh!

God, you're so loud.

Yeah, I wish I could say her walks of shames were rare.

This is not a walk of shame.

This pathetic thing you see before you is the price of cultivating a C.I. who likes Jagermeister and Dubstep.

You knew the risks when you joined the bureau, woman.

Yo, yo, yo. Good morning, homies.

What's up, man?

Yo, Briggs.

Yeah.

Messenger from the bureau was dropping that off for you.

Thank you.

Where's Lauren?

Upstairs being Lauren.

Briggs, you should talk to her.

All: Oh!

What is that?

Wet shoes and cheese?

It's durian fruit.

Shut the hell up, man.

Look, I'm under with the Malaysians, yo.

I gotta sweat this stuff out if I'm gonna smell the part.

Donnie Brasco-style, son.

Go eat by the window. Get that sh*t out of my face.

Jakes, got a couple of flapjacks with your name on 'em, bro.

I'll take one to go.

I gotta get out of here and get me some birds.

Okay, seriously?

You're just trying to get away from Johnny's smell.

Caught me.

Thank you.

Take those over to Johnny, would you?

Is this about yesterday?

You think I'm overreacting?

[Sighs] Okay, listen.

It will never happen again, all right?

I swear on... The FBI manual, which you think I love so much.

I will never do something so stupid ever again.

Never say never.

[Jamaican accent] Later, my people!

[Jamaican accent] Ah, hotcake flyin', lion.

Aah! Shh...

Later on, Jakes.

Hey, Johnny, do me a favor, man.

Open this mail, try not to get any of that nasty stink juice on it.

You're standing right next to it.

I'm cooking over here.

All right, man. Uh...

First up, psych order, for you, of course.

[Laughs] And Mr. Mikey.

Poppin' your cherry.

The famous Russian sh**t, huh?

I didn't pull the trigger.

Doesn't matter. You watched two guys get sh*t by me.

Don't tear it up in front of the kid.

Why not? I already punched my psych card, sweetheart.

I got the free sandwich next.

Briggs...

Yeah. Go.

Everybody on our island of misfit toys could use a little head shrinking.

It's at the FBI office downtown, okay?

Next bit of business...

It's from the brass.

They want Mikey on one of your actives.

Oh, that's great. Give me that.

Mike, upstairs.

Yo, taste it. Just taste it.

[Sighs] Oh...

Mix it in. Mix it up.

Why you gotta play me like that?

Mix it up with some sugar.

How you gonna play me like... put some sugar on it. You won't even taste it!

I'm done.

I can do it.

I can't just squeeze you onto something, Mike.

You're too green.

You still got that new-car smell on you.

We kicked ass together with the Russians.

Mmhmm. You mean when you almost sh*t Donnie?

Or when Donnie almost sh*t you?

That's not fair.

Listen, I know your whole case log.

Put me on Gutierrez.

[Chuckles] Gutierrez. How's your espanol?

Bueno.
[Speaking Spanish]

[Speaking Spanish]

Si.

What about the Irish counterfeiters?

Inactive.

Bello.

[Laughs]

Put me on Bello.

Hell no.

I'm up to speed on Bello.

Up to speed.

He's a major player in long beach.

He's trying to unite all the street gangs.

He's into dr*gs, g*ns.

He's never met a vice he didn't like.

Mmhmm. I've been working him for months.

You've been in the field less than two weeks.

You are not ready.

I mean, you almost b*rned Hector's, for Christ's sakes.

Come on, the bureau wants me on something.

That's right. A million crimes in this city, I am sure we can find you one with training wheels.

[Sighs]

[Electronic music]

♪ ♪

That's the truck.

[Jamaican accent] How long has it been here?

Not long.

The birds, them better not be dead, you know, man.

Parrot: We're dead.

No worries, man, it's air-conditioned.

All right.

[Birds squawking]

Hey. What this, man?

What happened to my hundred birds?

And only two golden conures?

Man, them should be there.

Yo, me not see them, me not pay for them, you know.

Somebody must have screwed up the order.

Parrot: We're screwed.

Who you get them from?

Hey.

Yo, me see something in the back there, you know.

Some box. That's not no birds.

There's something wrong.

Hey!

Parrot: We're dead.

I'm in the truck. Get me out of here.

Grabbed the guys running for the road.

Should we arrest you too?

Hilarious.

Now pull the crate out of there.

Gentlemen, looks like we got ourselves some highly illegal, high-performance steel-core cop K*llers.

Hmm...

DEA pulling your cover with the Russians, huh?

It's too hot after the arrests.

I've got a week.

I'm telling them I'm going back to Ukraine to take care of my sick father.

Ah. What ailment you giving pops?

[Russian accent] He's Russian. Too much vodka.

[Chuckles] You, uh... you know about Donnie, right?

It's not official.

Yeah, actually, it is.

I'm sorry, l boogie, but he ain't coming back.

I'm gonna miss him too.

I have a week.

Hey.

Do your job. Gotta let him go.

Could you?

No, I'm more of a cautionary tale.

Taken under advisement.

All right.

[Indistinct chatter]

Mike Warren?

Yeah. I'm here to see Dr. Badillo for my after-action evaluation.

He's expecting you. Go on in.

Hey, Mike. Have a seat.

What, no couch?

No.

Are you disappointed? A little bit.

So... History of the FBI.

It's a good read.

Do I call you Dr. Badillo?

[Sighs] Call me Juan.

Okay.

FBI director.

That's the Mike Warren plan, right?

You're reading my file?

It says you requested to be stationed in D.C.

Why is that?

It's the best place to work your way up.

Up to?

Maybe director.

[Exhales]

Why would you want the pressure?

I believe there's evil in the world, and I want to fight it and win.

You believe in the bureau?

I do, sir.

What got you hooked?

My grandfather.

He worked at the J. Edgar building in D.C.

So you're a legacy.

Well, no, not really. He wasn't an agent.

He was a photographer. Hmm.

Crime scene.

You know, hoover requested him himself once.

God, I think that was the highlight of his life.

Are you disappointed in your assignment to Graceland?

D.C. is a whole continent in the other direction.

Initially I was, but the house is great.

The agents there are great.

What about your training officer, Paul Briggs?

Is he great too?

He's...

Complicated.

You say he saved your life that night.

He did. If he didn't pull that trigger, I'd be dead.

You feel you owe him?

[Exhales] I do.

How is he complicated?

[Chuckles]

How much time you got?

You're not a shrink, are you?

What gave me away?

Well, there's no "doctor" in front of your name on the door.

I think you bought this book for me.

And if you were a shrink, I wouldn't feel like I was being interrogated.

Let's take a walk.

You're observant.

I like that. Thanks.

So who are you?

I'm your control officer for your investigation into Paul Briggs.

[Exhales] Finally.

I've been waiting for somebody to tell me what's going on.

You know, from what I've heard, you're just like him out of the academy.

You have the same energy, brain, passion he had then.

Why am I investigating him?

[Chuckles] Look.

For now just get close to him, become his friend.

Briggs isn't the kind of guy you get tight with overnight.

So take your time.

You're in Graceland for the duration.

You want to be in that FBI book one day, but how are you gonna do it from here?

This isn't a detour, Mike.

This is the fast track.

You help us with Briggs, and you write your own ticket out of Graceland and back to D.C.

Blackmail?

Incentive.

Make him put you on a case. Get in tight with him.

It's not easy.

That's why we chose you.

[Knocks on door]

Come in.

Can I ask you for some advice?

Of course.

It's about Briggs.

Briggs, Briggs.

Of course it's about Briggs.

I'm trying to get him to put me on something, but he keeps saying I'm too green.

He's right. Don't fight him on it.

Charm him. Briggs likes self-starters.

You need to bring him something.

Okay, well, there is this guy Bello.

He's an up-and-comer Briggs is trying to get close to.

He's just playing the periphery. He hasn't even met the guy.

Okay, so that means Briggs needs to do something big and splashy in order to get his attention.

How do I get him to do splashy?

Well, in order for him to get noticed, he needs to give him something he wants but doesn't have.

He's a drug supplier, offer him new territory.

He's smuggling car parts, offer him a cheaper source, whatever.

That's the thing with this guy Bello, though.

He seems to be involved in everything.

There you go. You got some options.

Okay. Great.

Good advice?

Yeah.

Now I need a favor from you.

I need a man for a little covert op.

Specifically a man?

A man.

It'll be fun. I'm a man.

Welcome to our undercover closet.

Stuff we've accumulated over the years.

Why toss it if we can use it, right?

Especially if we have to travel back in time.

We need to find something to make you look tough.

I look tough.

You do. You radiate bad-ass.

[Chuckles] How about g*n-toting preacher?

Tough is the wrong word. It's more like cocky.

This is cocky?

Confident.

Close enough.

Where are we going?

To make a delivery to the one roommate you haven't met yet.

Paige?

Yeah. You'll like her. Karaoke bar.

I go there alone, and every jerkoff in there starts hitting on me.

So I'm your boyfriend?

My cocky, confident boyfriend.

Mm.

Lose the Oxford.

What's up, kids?

Hey, Jakesy.

What's up, man?

Hey.

How's the parrots?

Good.

Got a couple of those and about a thousand of these.

[Whistles]

5.740-grain hard core?

Boy knows his b*ll*ts.

These are illegal.

Yeah.

Crazy illegal.

What happens to these now?

Well, I gotta inventory them, and then I turn them over to the marshals for destruction.

Hmm, lot of paperwork.

Illegal cop-k*lling rounds smuggled in from a foreign country...

I'll be knee-deep in ink for a week.

Hmm.

Give it back.

What are you thinking, Mikey?

Maybe a way to help Briggs make a splash.

♪ Can't help it, the girl can't help it ♪

[Singing in korean]

♪ Can't help it, the girl can't help it ♪

Hey, honey.

Ugh.

Boyfriend.

You ever had a girlfriend before, Mikey?

Who's the geek?

Excuse me.

Grab my ass.

Seriously?

Seriously.

Mark your territory and grab my ass.

Mm. Wow.

So that's what your squeezy thing has been for.

Among other things.

Easy, tiger.

That's Paige.

♪ Can't help it, the girl can't help it ♪

[Singing in korean]

Stop staring. You're still my fake boyfriend.
[Singing in korean]

♪ Can't help it, the girl can't help it ♪

[Singing in korean]

[Giggles] Whoo!

That's Bobby Moi.

He's got his fingers on most east side contraband.

She's under as his girlfriend. [Applause]

That was Paige singing the girl can't help it.

Give her another round of applause.

[Applause]

Bathroom.

[Laughs] Shut it!

Okay, that was...

I know, I can't even hear it anymore.

Can't hear it. Did you get 'em?

Right here.

God, I need to start buying these things in bulk.

So... This is the infamous levi.

It's Mike.

He's my boyfriend tonight.

Mm.

He's cute, right?

Yeah, he's hot. It's nice to meet you, levi.

Uh, yeah, you too. It's Mike.

You fresh out of Quantico?

Yes, ma'am.

Uh, at ease, soldier.

Still making no headway with Bobby?

Nothing. I'm two weeks under with him, and all he wants to do is get under me.

Ugh.

Wait, is that what the birth control pills are for?

I'm not taking them.

Well, your agency doesn't expect you to, um...

I'm not gonna screw him.

The pills are for Bobby.

You give a guy a couple of these, and his soldier's at ease.

Really?

Really.

Ugh, thank God. I can't take this anymore.

Gross.

Well, can I ask you a question?

I mean, you're going under as his girlfriend.

Don't you kind of expect him to want to, um, well, you know... Wanna get with you?

Absolutely.

Why don't you get out?

Because I want the bastard.

Okay, mama, there's a lot in here.

Thanks, Charlie.

Good luck.

It was nice to meet you, Mike.

[Door opens]

Told you you'd like her.

You cannot be a thug wearing beads.

I didn't get the memo.

What, you moving up?

[Chuckles] No.

I still haven't met Bello, but I'm close to one of his lieutenants, Eddie.

What's he about?

A little Jekyll, you know, a little Hyde.

He's an affable dude, but he can turn on you in a heartbeat.

Sounds just like me.

Oh, yeah.

Is there anything your Malaysian contacts have that Bello might want?

No. No.

My guys are heavy into mink and lanolin oil.

Any of Bello's crew like to wear fur?

Not that I know of.

Oh, incoming.

You guys talking about Bello?

I think I got something that might help.

Come on in, Mike.

So one of the things Bello's looking for is firepower, right?

I see you read my case file.

Jakes just scored a thousand armor-piercing b*ll*ts.

You think Bello would be into that?

Continue.

You tell Bello that you got a guy at camp Pendleton with the b*ll*ts... a marine. That'd be you.

I've got the look, right?

You do.

So we borrow the b*ll*ts from Jakes and sell them to one of Bello's guys.

Eddie, mm-hmm.

Eddie.

Arrest Eddie, flip him, and make him bring you to Bello.

Ah, and you started off so strong.

It's too risky. There's too many moving pieces.

If it got back to Bello, I'd be dead.

But I appreciate the effort. It's a work in progress.

I'll think about it.

Hey, stranger. What you doing home?

Charlie and Mike helped me spike Bobby's drink.

[Chuckles] The dreaded spike, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Couldn't get it up, huh?

Nope. He got embarrassed and kicked me out.

Third time. Yeah.

You know, at some point, the guy's gonna stop drinking.

I know. And then what? I seriously hate this case.

He's not giving me anything.

He won't talk business in front of a woman.

Right.

Well, you know, ease your way out.

I should. But I want him.

I mean, he's such a pig.

Hmm.

But you're right.

This won't end well for me.

You know, I do still have a connection with Bobby's crew.

II can't ask you to do that.

You know I owe you plenty.

And you didn't ask.

Thanks, Paul.

Yeah.

[Knocks on door] Enter.

I thought about it. Your plan's awesome.

We get rolling in the morning.

What changed?

Mm, told you. Thought about it.

Tell Jakes.

Hey, Jakes, can I ask you something?

Yeah, man, go ahead.

Those 5.7s.

Have you filed them yet?

No.

Would you mind if I borrowed them?

Are you out of your g*dd*mn mind?

It's only for the day. Briggs will sign for 'em.

You think that makes me feel better?

Look, levi, one of these gets out on the streets, happens to penetrate the body armor and chest cavity of an LAPD officer, I'll be in jail, getting penetrated in a different cavity, you feel me?

I'll trade you.

What do you want?

I want you to leave me alone.

I'll do your next round on the chore wheel.

Jakes, come on, man.

Let these b*ll*ts do some good in the world before they're destroyed. Hmm?

All right, I'll tell you what, levi.

Two. Two turns on the wheel.

Done.

How many rounds you gonna need?

All of 'em.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Laughs]

We got G.I. Joe in the house, guys.

Reporting for duty, sir.

Right off the recruitment poster.

Reservist with the 316th quartermaster company at Pendleton.

Mmhmm.

[Southern accent] Manufacturer donated some b*ll*ts for live fire testing.

Not all of 'em made it to the range.

Dig it. Don't depart from it.

Now, look, the bureau boys worked hard to get this backstop for you.

If Eddie or Bello has the ability to check, which I highly doubt, it'll come up that you're registered with the 316th.

Expectin' to see Bello today, sir?

No, no. It's gonna be Eddie's show.

Bello steers clear of the indictable stuff.

Sure.

But what is up with that accent?

Felt quite natural for the character.

Oh, listen, Mike, you're not playing curly in Oklahoma,okay?

If it doesn't flow out of you second nature, you should drop it.

Dropped.

Now, we're gonna have audio on both of us.

Okay.

You and I will go in with 50 rounds of a*mo, test some of the b*ll*ts, and get out of there.

We'll make the sale later when the odds aren't so stacked against us.

All right, guys, check it out.

Found a spot a block away from where you guys are.

Closest we can get.

No visual inside, though, so no sn*per love for you guys.

Well, what's the signal if something goes wrong?

How 'bout "oh, sh*t"?

That's good.

Oh, sh*t.

[g*nshots]

Damn, Eddie, what'd that car do to you?

Hey, Paul.

[Laughs]

Staying out of trouble, my friend?

Not so much. How 'bout you?

You know me.

I do.

Eddie, this is my guy.

He's a reservist out of the 316th quartermaster company at Pendleton.

Pendleton.

Yeah.

Yes.

I'm not packin'.

Show me what you brought.

Oh, yeah.

You and the Mexicans both fire the 5.7s, right, Eddie?

Yes.

I'll tell you what.

Compared to these bad boys, you're sh**ting blanks.

What we have here is a 40-grain high-performance cartridge with a tungsten carbide core.

A.K.A. cop K*llers.

Illegal in all 50 states and Puerto Rico.

Now, feel that m*ssile right there.

No matter what tactical vest the other guy's wearing, touch him with one of those, he'll be feeling a draft.

We'll see. Bring out the bears.

We'll get 'em.

Bears?

Yes. You know, cops. Smokey bears.

Oh.

[Laughs]

That is real body armor. L.A.'s finest.

Ready?

sh**t.

[g*nshots]

What are you trying to sell us?

It's a huge cartridge.

The kick will throw your aim off a bit, that's all.

You're saying we can't sh**t?

No, Eddie, of course you can sh**t.

No, you can't.

Team one, we might be going in hot.

We can't sh**t? Is that what you are saying?

Not without some instruction.

Come on, Mike.

[Laughs]

[Chuckles]

We don't need a lesson.

May I?

Is he going to sh**t me?

If he does, I'll sh**t him.

What the hell is he doing?

These b*ll*ts are longer and heavier than the ones you're used to sh**ting.

The recoil is gonna push the nose up, so you need to aim underneath your target.

[Laughter] Oops.

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

So we got a deal?

I'll talk to Bello.

But from what I'm seeing, yes, we have a deal.

So there he was, outnumbered... one man against five.

That's not a fair fight, right?

Mm-mm.

For them.

[Laughter]

'Cause gunslinger Mike had a full load and hands of stone.

The first bear came right at him.

Bam! Bam!

Oh, oh!

[Laughter]

The next bear... Right between the eyes. Blam!

Uhh! Please don't taxidermy me.

Now, the other bears are scared, right?

Mm.

Doesn't matter, 'cause Mike has no mercy. Kablam!

Come on, dude, why you always gotta be like that?

Dj, come on, man.

One of y'all better avenge me.

I got you, brother.

Bam!

[Groans] [Laughter]

Terrible. Next bear behind the back. Blam!

Oh!

I thought we were on the same team, Mike.

I hope there's honey in heaven. [Laughter]

Now he sees the last bear stalking him, way in the back.

Blam!

What's going on?

You're a bear.

Mike just sh*t you.

Oh, okay. Hold this.

Take two?

Ready? Ready? Get ready. Blam!

Unh!

Oh, wow. That was good.

And that, my friends, is the legend of merciless Mike...

♪ Mike ♪

And the b*llet-proof bears.

All right, I like that one.

Yeah.

Bravo. Bravo.

Hey.

Thanks, man. Thank you.

Seriously, some of the best marksmanship I've ever seen in my entire life, Mike.

Real talk. For sure.

I'm glad you're one of us.

Yay, yay.

Speaking of which, how'd your little shrink session go?

That's private.

No, the...

Normal shrink B.S.

They wanted to know if I felt guilty...

Whether I could operate my firearm.

You're not afraid to use your firearm.

No. [Laughter]

So I take it you're all healed and whatnot, right?

No, actually, they want to make it a weekly thing.

Hey.

For real?

Don't let them head-game hippies label you, man.

Like crazy Jakes here.

Right. [Laughter]

I already got a nickname.

All I know is those ink blots look pissed off.

[Laughter]

Well, to our merry, merry band of misfits, huh?

Yes.

All: Cheers.

[Indistinct chatter]

Jakes, anybody else need a re-up?

I'm good, man. Thank you.

My man Mike?

No, man. Got a big day tomorrow.

Oh, yeah.

500,000, right? It's all there.

All right.

[Indistinct chatter]

b*ll*ts are walking.

There they go.

Please tell me we have a tracker on them.

Not unless you put one in there.

What are you talking about?

The plan was to arrest Eddie when he had the amm*nit*on.

No, that was your plan. Get in.

I got the plate off Eddie's truck.

We should call it in.

Nah, we're not gonna call it in.

They switched their plates the second they rolled off the junkyard.

You're not at all concerned about the crate of cop K*llers we just let walk away?

Have you ever been to Guadalajara?

No, I've never been to Guadalajara.

The food there is amazing.

Where are we going?

You know what they don't have in Guadalajara, though?

It's a damn shame... sour cream.

[Indistinct chatter]

Now, right there is sun city hot dogs.

They have got a dog that is smothered in sour cream, tomatoes, and jalapenos.

Mwah!

For the life of me, I can't figure out why, but they call it a Guadalajara dog.

I need one. [Chuckles]

And a large root beer. Get yourself something too.

This is bullshit, Briggs.

Hey, we are focused on hot dogs right now, okay?

There's a line.

You graduated first in your class.

Figure it out, buddy.

Genius.

Okay.

Agent Badillo's office.

Mike Warren. Can I talk to Juan?

Sorry, Mike, he's out. I can give him a message.

Tell him it's about Paul Briggs, and it's important.

Thanks, Katie.

Excuse me, I'm with the L.A. county animal control.

Don't worry, I'm not shutting it down.

What?

Animal...

Ah, my man. Thanks.

Oh-ho.

Chili cheese. You naughty boy.

Thank you.

I thought we were in a hurry.

Yeah, we were. Now we're right on schedule.

For what?

Do you trust me, Mike? Be honest.

No, sir.

Hmm.

You know what a heat run is?

I know you do because it's in the book.

A heat run is when someone makes a series of random turns and speed changes in order to avoid a tail.

Mmhmm.

I love it.

You like that?

Mmhmm. - Verbatim. I'm impressed.

Now, you know our boy Eddie.

He just bought $1/2 million in illegal a*mo and also switched his license plates.

You think, uh, maybe he's making a heat run to make sure nobody follows him back to our fellow Bello? He should.

Yeah, he is. Bet your ass on it.

Eat your chili cheese dog.

It's good, huh?

Yeah, it's good.

Told you.

I've been in with these guys for a couple of months now.

The driver, Eddie, idiot that he is, he always makes the same exact heat run.

Same turns, same cutbacks. Never varies.

Well, that's pointless.

Yeah, it is kinda pointless, but it damn sure makes our day shorter.

Because you know where he's going.

Mmhmm. Matter of fact, they should be over there in three, two, one.

[Chuckles]

Give it a second.

Ah, there they are. Must have hit a light.

Okay, is the tac team gonna hit 'em now?

No, tac team's not gonna hit 'em.

Watch the show, young jedi.

[Tires screech]

[Inhales] Ooh.

[Tires screech]

Down on the ground! Put your hands up.

Hey, eat.

Wait, who are they?

Oh, that's, uh, Bobby Moi's guys.

That's Paige's guy?

Mmhmm. The same. Mr. Limpdick.

Get out! Hands on your head!

Do you know who we are?

Spread your legs.

Grab the box! Grab the box in the back.

[Indistinct shouting]

Spread your legs.

Are we arresting them?

Well, I mean, you know, if you want to waltz over there, whip out your badge and expose yourself as a federal agent in front of all those weapons...

No, sir.

All right. I mean, are you sure?

I mean, we are witnessing a violent crime in progress, agent Warren.

You might wanna go make a citizen's arrest or something, get promoted. I get it.

[Indistinct shouting]

[Engine starts]

[Tires screech]

Now what?

Well, now we're gonna go buy our b*ll*ts back.

[Engine starts]

[Siren wails in distance]

[Speaking korean]

Bobby.

Paulie.

Uh... Is this place safe?

Yeah, of course.

Hey, I've seen you before.

Yeah, I was in here the other night with my girl.

Oh, yeah.

Pretty little Italian piece.

Mmhmm.

Great. Now we all know each other.

Tell the tale.

Clockwork.

Would make the Swiss jealous.

[Chuckles] Look, I got your thousand.

Show me my money.

All right.

Ta-da.

That's beautiful.

Yeah.

So we got a deal?

Yeah, we got a deal.

Pleasure doing business with you, Robert.

Nobody move!

Whoa! Hey! Yo, man!

Wow, Bobby, nice move.

I swear to God, Paulie.

Okay, okay.

I swear to God, Paulie.

[Indistinct chatter]

Why didn't you tell me this was your plan?

You said it yourself back in the jeep.

You don't trust me.

So who were you calling back at the hot dog stand anyway?

Oh, just messages.

Messages?

Yep.

You know, it's funny, I thought maybe for a second you were tempted to call our little plan in to the bureau or something.

I was tempted.

Hmm.

But I didn't.

But what if you had called it in and crashed it?

You know, this only worked because all of it worked.

Yeah, but anything could have gone wrong.

Eddie does a new heat run, one of Bobby's guys sh**t somebody.

Those b*ll*ts get on the street, you don't have any control over it.

Yeah, but it didn't go wrong.

Today was a good day.

Accept that. Revel in it.

'Cause not all of 'em are, let me tell you.

I mean, look. Our side won.

Jakes gets his b*ll*ts back, plus a little sl*ve labor from you.

My advice to you is to...

Paige got Bobby Moi, and you and I, we held up our end of the deal with Bello.

Well, it's not our fault his driver messed up and got jacked.

Hey, not us.

And the best part...

The bureau gets an extra $1/2 million in cash.

[Laughs] Well, almost.

Looks like Eddie shorted us.

Dirty little bastard.

See, it pays to trust me.

Tac team, when we're all locked down here, me and Mike are buying.

[All cheering]

Welcome to my team, Mike.

What's the emergency?

You didn't call me back.

You gotta be careful with phones.

Briggs put me on his Bello case.

That's straight-up excellent, Mike.

But that's not why you called.

No, I called because I thought he was making a play.

He wasn't.

You can't underestimate Briggs.

He's... [Chuckles]

He hits the trifecta while the rest of us are still sizing up the horses.

That I know. Help me find out what I don't know.

[Cell phone chirps]

[Chuckles] It's Briggs.

You're smarter than him, Mike.

Hit your own trifecta.

So you ready to meet the man?

Yes, I am.

Me too.

This is big-time, Mike.

[Suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[Cocks g*n]

Who you been talking to?
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