01x02 - Season 1, Episode 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Doll & Em".Aired: February 2014 to March 2014.*
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"Doll & Em" is about an actress named Em heading to Hollywood, closely followed by best friend Doll as they navigate their friendship once Em hires Doll to be her assistant.
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01x02 - Season 1, Episode 2

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music playing]

[Music playing]


Hi, Em.

Hi.


Oh, my gosh. How are you?

Hey.

Nice to see you too.

This is Jane, our publicist.

Oh, hi.

Yes, I'm the publicist.

Oh, great, very nice to meet you.

Lovely to meet you.

Oh, well, I'm... I'm up for anything.

Whatever you... Whatever you need.

Bonjour.

Bonjour.

Francois Desdemond.

This is my wife, Aurelia.

Aurelia? I'm Emily. Nice to meet you.

Perhaps I can send you something to your agent?

That would be great.

Right Yes. Absolutely. Yeah.

Nice to see you again.

Lovely to see you.

How you doing? Everything good?

Everything's great.

All right.

Good to see you again. This is my wife, Jean.

Hi, Margo. Casting.

Oh, yes, of course.

This is Tallulah.

Hi, Tallulah.

Nice to meet you.

And you. And you.

Finally.

So how's it been going?

Oh, it's great. We're so happy.

Oh, well, we'll have to... Have to hang at some point.

Definitely. I would love that.

Okay.

Thank you.

[Music playing on TV]

Look at that. Whoo!

Hot diggity!

And in those days the king's word was law.


So nice to meet you.

I know.

I've been dying to meet you.

I know. Me, you, too.

Look at this spread.

It's unreal.

I can't get over it.

Oh, L.A.

Is your family here with you?

No, sadly.

No?

No, they're back in New York.

It must be so hard.

It is. It's really hard, but, you know, it's good.

I'm... I'm just trying to focus on the movie at the moment.

Of course, but it's so exciting.

It is so exciting.

I mean, it's your movie, Emily.

I know.

I'm crazy about the script. Aren't you?

I am, yeah.

Your character?

She's like the Empress Wu Zetian or Queen Victoria or, like, a... The Godfather as a woman.

I mean, it's awesome.

I mean it's so rare to find a part like this.

Such a strong, complex female character.

Treasure it.

Okay.

Well, it's always darkest just before...

[Laughing] Doll.

I'm sorry about my friend, Brian.

Are you two all right in here?

Yeah.

[Whispering] I'm so sorry.

I don't know why she didn't bring a babysitter. What happened?

[Whispering] It doesn't matter. It looks terrifying in there.

I'd rather be in here. It's fine.

I don't want to be in there either.

It's miserable. I wish I was in here with you.

I know, exactly. I know.

[Normal volume] We're gonna be good, aren't we, Brian?

We're gonna have fun.

Everybody, hello, welcome.

Um, please don't be alarmed.

I'm really not going to take very much time saying anything.

I just want to say that I think when we look back on what we are all here doing together in years to come, I think we're going to be so, so proud.

That's it. That's all I wanted to say.

Without further ado, I'm going to turn you over to our own young Coppola, Mike.

[Applause, cheers]

It's not really Coppola, it's just kind of my own thing.

Um...

It's so rare to get a chance to work on something that you're so passionate about.

I feel so connected to...

You're going to have to speak louder, Mike.

I... I feel so connected to this story, starting with my grandma, Patty. She was a very, very powerful woman.

Um...

Okay, now, she never wrenched people's teeth out of their head [chuckles] Or inherited a ruthless crime syndicate, but she...

Go, Emily!

She was the heart of the family.

Oh, God. Thank you.

So let's raise a glass to Emily.

To Emily.

Our modern-day Joan of Arc.

Cheers.

Emily. Hear, hear.

And... and... and to the leading lady of my life...

You own me, Susan.

Oh, I hope everyone heard that.

[All laugh]

And, um, lastly...

Look, I know you're not a strong woman, but, Edgar, I owe you everything. We all do.

[Clapping, cheering]

Yeah, Edgar!

I haven't really found my feet with Mike yet.

Not sure he likes me.

Oh, God.

Isn't that such a relief at our age?

So much simpler.

You know they don't want to f*ck you anymore, so you can just be the woman you always wanted to be.

Finally.

Okay, so, the cushions are gonna be, like, rocks or tiny islands or lily pads that can take your weight.

Can they be sharks?

Yes, good idea.

You're Emily's assistant, right?

Yeah.

I'm Edgar's.

Dolly, nice to meet you.

Hi.

Well, I mean, I'm not really Emily's assistant. I'm her best friend.

I'm just here to help her while she does this film.

Just an excuse to hang out, really.

But she's paying you, right?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, ready?

Out of my way, I'm gonna land...

I'm gonna ride the biggest shark here.

That was amazing. Did you see that?

[Crying]

Are you okay?

I don't know where he's hurt himself, quite frankly.

What happened to him?

Oh, love.

Oh, sweetie. Are you okay?

What the hell happened?

Well, we were just playing on the sofa and I think your grandson fell off.

Son.

Wha... what happened, Doll? What did you do?

Well, we were just jumping off the sofa.

It was fun... Into the sea.

But there are sharks.

Yeah, but that's not quite fair, Brian, because you put all the cushions out and you wanted them to be sharks.

But I was drowning.

Oh, this woman would never let you drown, sweetheart.

Well, it was a game.

Even in a game.

Susan, I'm so, so sorry.

I...

Dolly is too. Aren't you, Doll?

You're sorry.

Yeah, no, I'm sorry, Brian.

That's it? I mean, tell him that you would never let anything bad happen to him, right?

Go on, Doll.

I would never let anything bad happen to you, Brian.

Don't patronize him.

I promise, I would never let anything happen to you, Brian.

"And I would never let you drown."

Yeah, but how could I if...

Dolly!

And I would... I would obviously never let you drown.

"Or be eaten by sharks."

See? It's okay now.

God, what a nightmare. I'm so sorry.

I saw some water wings earlier if you want to make believe again, safely, with me.

Oh.

Can I just say, I...

Idolize you.

You are my total inspiration for this role.

I can't believe I'm... I'm here with you.

Oh, no, no. But where are the water wings? Are they nearby?

I'll go... I'll go get them. Yeah, I'll go grab them.

And you're all right, Brian?

We're gonna get the water wings.

You in there?

Doll?

What?


Look, it's okay. It's no big deal. I promise.

No big deal?

Susan Sarandon just shout-eat me, Em!


I know, I know. It was awful, but who cares, really?

Should we just go home?

Yes.

Okay, I'll say goodbye and I'll meet you outside, okay?


Okay?

Yes.

Thank you so much. It was such a great party.

I loved it.

Oh, yeah, I've... I've just got a big day tomorrow.

[Knocks on door]

I'm meeting you outside. I heard, I was just gathering mysel...

Oh, good. I can me... I can certainly meet you outside.

That's all right.

Don't... hello.

Did you think I was someone else?

Yeah, sorry about that.

Oh, it's okay, but you're not leaving? Don't leave.

Well, I was gonna... I was supposed to leave.

[Giggles]

Who would want that?

Aren't parties weird? Really?

I...

I know that's such a cliche.

Why do you say?

But what I mean is that I always find even at my own parties that all my best friends become sort of acquaintances and all my acquaintances become people I've never met before in my life.

Then you meet somebody, you know, out of the blue, you don't know at all, and they're the person you want to...

Hang out with.

[Faint buzzing]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

The other aid to intimacy, I always find, is this.

Oh, my God.

Could I interest you?

Yes, please. Yes.

Great.
Ahem.

You okay, honey?

Yes, I was just looking for my friend, Dolly. My assistant.

You haven't seen her, have you?

No, no, I haven't.

I-I... you know, it's really hard to find a good assistant in this town.

Don't you think? Somebody you can trust.

Emily?

Honey, if you need help, let me know.

I'm very good. I know... you know, I know these hills like the back of my hand.

I have a little dog, a little Yorkshire terrier, and she got out the other night.

I mean, my God, I was just scared to death.

It's really strong.

It is pretty strong.

Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell something really yummy.

The weed of an englishman.

Please, have a seat.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Sativa?

My friend the Baker calls it "red velvet."

Mm. Mm.

You guys have met, right?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

I've been married four times, honey.

God.

Four times. And every single one of the sobs had a house here in the Hollywood hills.

So I know all these little winding roads.

I know them drunk, I know them sober.

I've had houses all over the Hollywood hills. On this side...

Dianne, I'm so sorry, but I just...

I... I really do have to find her.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna keep looking down here and then...

Well, you let me know if you can't find her here on the property.

I certainly will and I'm... I'm sure we'll see you on the way out.

I'll drive you around if you like.

Oh, no, don't worry. It's fine.

Emily?

Yes?

Edgar would like to say hi to you.

Edgar would?

Okay.

Thanks.

[Music playing]

It's quite a nice bag. It's new.

There you are. Oh, my God.

Let's go.

Shh. Brian's asleep.

Shh.

Oh, Em, you know Luke, don't you?

But he prefers to be called buddy. Why is that?

I'll tell you.

He's our host and he's producing your film.

Yes, we met earlier.

I'm just one of many, many producers.

And this is Em, my best friend and the star of your movie.

Of course.


We just love your assistant. She is so sweet.

But I think you should have her sign a confidentiality statement.

Shut up, Susan.

All I said... I said one thing. I was just saying that how when you were on stage, you have that thing where you think you're gonna wee.

Yeah. Seriously. That's what she's saying.

Oh, yeah. I'm completely I'm going to pee myself.

This is so embarrassing, but when I...

I sometimes just want to yank people's hair, like I just...

That kind of feels good.

The other day, in the middle of this award ceremony, right... oh, I guess it's time. It's time.

Bye.

Bye, Dolly. And it was so nice to hang with you.

Thank you, Susan.

And buddy.

Bye, beauty.

Thank you.

Let's do this again.

Soon, soon, soon, soon, please.

Come on, sweetie.

Bye, Mike.

Very nice to meet you.

Bye.

Bye.

Here we go. Come on. How are you doing?

Good night.

Get some rest.

Yeah, you too. See you tomorrow.

Buddy, thank you so much.

That was such a lovely party.

Don't be crazy. You don't have to go, do you?

It's kind of early.

Um... I feel like I should.

Do we have to go?

Don't. What do you mean?

It's still so early. Hot tub's hot.

You got a hot tub?

And it's hot. It's a hot tub.

Wow.

It's... I mean, it's up to you.

We wanna stay.

Oh, I don't know if I can face this.

Oh, come on. It's going to be funny.

Aren't we too old for this kind of thing?

Yeah, nearly. We've got about five minutes left.

Come on. We'll just... Let's just have fun.

Please.

Okay, but maybe it should just be you and him.

No, I don't want to be left alone in the hot tub alone with him.

He's not my type.

Okay, but if you do want to be on your own with him, just let me know, okay?

Don't be silly.

So, if I did want to be on my own with him, what would I say?

Um, let's think of a secret code.

You could just say...

"Em, are you cold?"

And I'll just hop out.

"Em, are you cold?"

Yes.

Never gonna say that.

[Splattering]

Oh, my God! [Laughs]

Dolly, still want to go in?

Yes, you do.

[Laughing]

It's a long way from Worthing, right?

Come on in.

Ladies, join me, won't you? Come on in.

Oh, thank you.

Gently, gently.

Em, come on. It's so relaxing.

I got... you look very relaxed.

Really relaxing.

Why do you think everyone in L.A. is so relaxed?

All right?

Mm.

Mm.

Ah.

What a beautiful view.

Yeah, it is a lovely view.

Has anyone ever told you you look just like Jane Birkin?

Wow.

God, no. I've had Amanda Plummer in "The Fisher King."

That's about it.

Dianne the costume lady thinks I'm the same age as her.

How old is she?

I don't know, 58, 59, 60.

What? That's ridiculous.

What are you, like, 27, 28?

[Laughs] No, don't be absurd.

No, she's 40.

Look at you.

You could be twins.

How long have you guys known each other?

Since we were children.

Mm.

Wow.

Our dads were friends.

Oh, you're kidding. That's so special.

That's amazing.

Here's to special friends.

[Clinks]

[Clinks]

Well, until my dad d*ed when I was quite young.

Oh, I'm sorry.

My dad d*ed last year.

Recent. That's rough.

I didn't realize he was my dad at the time.

I only found that out when I was about 11.

I thought it was someone entirely different till then.

That's confusing.

Mm.

There's a wonderful pushkin poem about death that my dad used to love.

[Reciting in Russian]

[Sighs]

[Reciting in Russian]

Oh, my God, that's so sexy.

What does it mean?

Emily, are you cold?

What?

Are you cold?

'Cause you look quite cold.

No, I'm not at all cold. If anything, I'm burning up.

You must be hot, too, right?

No, I'm, um... no, I'm actually quite cold.

Doll?

What? Where you going?

Doll, where are you going?

Don't leave us.

Dolly. Dolly.

Come back.

Doll?

God, you know, I know exactly how she's feeling 'cause at parties...

Parties always do something strange to me, too.

I always feel like all my good friends become acquaintances and all my acquaintances become people I've never...

[Sighs]

[Faint buzzing]

Sorry.

What... what's wrong?

What's going on?

[Door opens]

[Emily panting]


You missed a call.

From your husband.

What the f*ck was that?

It's okay, it's okay. Shh.

Yeah, but seriously, Doll, Doll, Doll... what the f*ck were you thinking?

Why would you do that?

I'm sorry, it's fine. It's okay.

It's okay, my love.

Shh.

But seriously, why?

I...

[Scoffs]

Doll. Oh, Doll...

Doll...?

[Groans]

Hey.

Hi.

I'm sorry I missed your call earlier.

Oh, we're at this awful party.

I really want to go home, but Doll fancies someone. Now I'm stuck.

Doll?

Dolly?

[Door closes]

Dolly?

Dolly?

[Door closes]

[Doll laughing]

[Whispering within]

[Doll continues laughing]

[Birds chirping]

[Buddy singing

♪ I wings to fly ♪
♪ Give me that boat ♪
♪ Hat can carry two ♪
♪ And both shall row ♪
♪ My love and I... ♪


[Whistles]

Morning.

Do tea?

[Raspy] Yeah, sure.

[Buddy humming]

Where's Dolly?

Uh...

She's...

Oh, would you mind just taking this out for her?

She likes more milk than that.

God, I'm so sorry about last night, Dolly.

I don't know what came over me. I was completely mad.

That buddy dude's lost in song back there.

Don't worry, Em. I totally get it.

I like L.A.

[Music playing]
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