01x04 - #Heart2Heart

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Becoming Us...

Lathan, what is that?

This is a raven demon because everyone has demons.

What are your demons?

Secrets.

Your mom told me that you have 52 detentions.

There's only 52 weeks in a year.

You're probably a 40B.

It's just like my dad's a preteen learning about...

How to wear a bra.

Look at this, even my jeans look better on me, look at that.

I think Lathan and I had a bad childhood.

Okay. Everyone stop.

My childhood.

It really never affected me.

Well, but maybe it has more than you want to give it credence to.

I'm Ben.

I'm 16 years old and I'm a junior in high school.

I grew up with loving parents, I have an amazing sister and I have an awesome girlfriend named Danielle.

If I fall, you're always there to pick me up.

I've got your back.

I thought I knew exactly where my life was headed until she came along.

Her name is Carly and Carly...

Was my dad.

What now?

[Music playing]

What are you doing on the computer?

I'm looking at Free People Dresses.

Is this another item that you're planning on ordering?

No, I just thought it looked cool.

I like the shoes.

What's been going on with you and that one girl that you were dating?

Oh, man, it just got too crazy too fast.

I mean, she was acting as if I was it, that, you know, that we were gonna get married someday and I just...

Dad, would you ever consider like, getting married again or...

My history with dating women is not very good.

They either become very good friends or we walk away from each other.

Look at your mom and I.

I definitely want my dad to get back out in, like, the dating world.

Like, I want him to go on dates because I know that whenever he has a girlfriend, he's definitely like, a happier person.

Or even a boyfriend, I don't care.

I do see myself dating a... a man.

And I've dated guys, you know, I've had boyfriends.

Yeah, I know you've dated guys.

But they, you know, they're... they've been gay, right?

Yeah.

So, think about that for a minute.

I'm a person that feels, in my definition, like a woman inside.

So, yes, I would like a man but how?

I'm not gay, not that there's anything wrong with gay, it's just not who I am.

What straight guy is gonna date me?

Maybe you should like, just put yourself out there a little bit more, maybe do like a dating website, go on some fun dates.

What was that site you were looking at?

I don't know, it was ok... it was the Cupid one.

Do I set up a profile as a male or a female?

Maybe they have an in-between option, who knows?

I will select woman.

Oh, and I'm transgender.

Yeah.

It'd be nice to have somebody chase me.

Say, "oh man, I... "

I think you're hot, I think you're nice,

"I think you're funny."

Would you consider sleeping with someone on the first date?

Oh, my god.

No.

Otherwise, I would've stayed with Chrissy.

Oh.

Nice.

Well, you've kissed Ben before, haven't you?

Ew, Dad, stop.

Well, how long do you want your next relationship to last?

The rest of my life.

The rest of my life.

That's all I'm looking for, I'm not asking for much.

My dad's a pretty good catch, he's pretty handsome or beautiful, or she's pretty beautiful, I don't know.

He's... he's a nice guy, who wouldn't want that?

Hey, Dad. Look, you have a message.

Oh, really?

Yeah, you do.

Well, open it up.

Oh, it's like a...

Oh, this is the pointers to get started, okay.

I thought I already had a match...

This is a good start.

Thank you, my daughter.

I got you.

[Music playing]

A million people have made T-shirts, if not a bajillion, if that's even a number.

I don't think that there's that many people in the world but, okay.

I'm doing some drawing stuff, you're doing your photography stuff and we've got to like, kind of like, combine it all together.

Merge.

I guess, I would call myself an entrepreneur.

I never really liked that word because it sounds like manure.

I've been thinking about like, some names because like, we've got to have a name for our brand, we can't just say like, "T-shirt".

Like, no one's gonna buy that.

Yeah.

So, I was thinking like, Concealed, but doing a play on words.

You know how like, I've been drawing seals like, for quite some time?

Well, the whole thing is what I was trying to do is I want to hide the seal, I want to conceal the seal.

You know like, that law with like, concealed firearms?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like people can hide it.

Mm hmm.

Like, wouldn't you be excited to be like, "oh man, where's the seal?"

Oh, I can't wait to open this shirt,

"oh, it's right there."

Yeah.

Like...

Because it'll make people look for something.

Exactly.

It's not like any just normal design where it's just like, "oh, cool."

You down?

I'm down.

Like...

Like, it's just something that we should keep going, you know what I mean?

Well, we haven't even really started yet, but we should keep...

Exactly.

But once we get it going, then we should keep it going and actually make it a well-known thing.

When Ayton gets an idea, it's like a Boulder falling down a mountain that never ends and you can't really stop it, but honestly, I think this T-shirt business could work out, I mean, we just got to do it.

When we went camping, was it just me or was like, something about Lathan, like, kind of tense?

Like, there was like, a tense feeling, you know what I mean?

Like he was definitely going through some... some (Bleep) that weekend and like, I feel like he means well, he's just like a, kind of like, lost person.

It's like he kind of has like, a sense of like, mystery behind him.

He used to live in Evanston, you should know people, and I haven't heard one story like, chillin' with somebody like, old friends.

I mean, it is Brook's brother, so like, did she ever like, clue you in on him, or like, any of that?

She's kind of like, ehh, like next subject.

I feel like whenever Lathan, like, walks into a room there should just be like, that wind effect like woosh.

Yeah.

Do you feel that kind of?

I feel that or like, a smokescreen like "mwah ha ha ha ha."

Right, right, right.

But like, less evil, like less evil.

[Music playing]

You want some coffee or tea?

I would love some tea, actually.

I got to know Lathan a little bit more on the camping trip.

You know, he's a... he's a great kid, he's a really sweet person.

To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?

I guess just to talk, just to get to know each other more.

Cool.

It's a little weird that Lathan's coming over without Ben but obviously there's like, a lot of turmoil there, though.

So what'd you think of that camping trip?

It was pretty awesome.

I got to talk to Ben and we were talking about you, like, what it was like when you camped with him before, you know, and now that you're so open and happy, I'm just so glad that he is able to, you know, gain some kind of wisdom and experience from what you're going through.

Because I have a perception of my life and there are things about me that are different and then there are things that I've gone through.

Like...

You said you're different, what does that mean?

Because I am transgender.

So were you born male or... ?

See that's the kind of thing I don't like talking about.

Well, okay, but you brought it up so...

I was born a female.

I had no idea.

I perceive myself as a man, that is simply what I'm comfortable with.

To say that I'm less a man because I wasn't biologically born that way is wrong.

And that is why it's so hard for me to confess that to anyone who I know.

How old were you when you transitioned?

Moment I hit puberty.

Huh?

The moment I hit puberty, about twelve.

Really? Oh, wow, a long time.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, that's awesome.

Yeah.

I'm glad you told me that, that's cool.

We all have our journey, we all have our past.

Yeah.

You know?

The reason why I don't tell people also is because those who I have, have done something terrible.

Yeah.

The haters.

And...

Well, it's worse than that because these people loved me and when finally I admit to it or they discover it on their own, they think of me differently but they... they claim to be open-minded, they claim all these things but it's because I didn't say that before, it's not necessary, it's not necessary to say that, I just want to be me.

I went through a period where I...

I didn't really want to identify as trans.

You know, I just didn't.

I wanted to identify as a gay, woman, period.

But the result of that was, I felt like I was walking away from a community.

You know, I'd just like to be comfortable in my skin, that's it.

Here's what I hear, I hear that you have concerns about how other people treat you as a result of having that type of intimate knowledge.

And for me, just for me, I've got to let that go.

But how?

Because if people want to use... because if people use that against me, those are not people I want to have anything to do with.

They have no control over me, they have no input in my life.

Because I am me.

Yeah.

You are you.

What I was born with between my legs does not impact who I am.

Yo.

How are you man?

I'm good, how are you?

How's Cali and that weather?

It's alright.

What's going on.

At home?

Mom...

Well, Mom and Mom, what's going on?

Ronnie is my uncle on my mom's side.

He's a professional musician, he was there a lot when that whole Carly thing happened and he seems to always get me.

Have you seen Carly much or... ?

Carly...

Yeah.

... Is getting... sexual reassignment surgery.

Wow.

That's a big deal.

It's a little... confusing.

In my head.

I would imagine.

Because you know, you do have to feel this stuff, I mean, you've got to go through it.

That's kind of like, what I've been doing, deal with it.

And enjoy life for what it is.

Play some blues.

Yeah, play some blues.

I woke up this morning singing a little song that I thought we could maybe try and finish.

♪ I heard you say ♪
♪ that my daddy ♪
♪ is going away ♪

Okay?

Alright.

We can do, I heard you say, I heard you say...

You've gone away to a life that you can't replace.

Write that down.

But you left the ones that you used to love for a couple long days.

That's good, man.

Dude, you're just writing lyrics left and right.

Damn.

That's therapy right there, bro.

That is therapy.

[Music playing]

What up?

Nice.

Hey.

Thank you.

What you drawing?

Oh, I don't know, I just started drawing.

Yeah.

How's everything? How have you been?

Yesterday, I talked to Carly and she invited me over and it was nice.

She... she really comes out as someone you can trust.

Yeah.

And I told Carly that I am a transgender person.

Yeah?

I'm proud of you.

It must've been kind of hard.

I never, ever am comfortable just sitting down and talking to people about it and that's why I'm like, shaking.

He's so afraid that his friends, because they... his friends don't know, that he was a girl.

I am extremely happy that Lathan is finally opening up to people.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Yeah.

Are you post... post-op, like is everything male or is it still something that you're kind of working with?

Okay, what?

I'm just... I'm just kind of curious, like from the other...

Ew.

Sorry. I don't know.

Being transgender has nothing to do with needing surgery.

I identify as a male and so I live as a male.

I'm perfectly fine the way I am.

I'm... I'm fully whatever I can be.

There are some parts of me that are already pretty masculine that I don't need to really screw with and I never had to bind, but...

I remember you wrapping yourself when you were going through the change.

Because that was...

That's like, the initial, that was like your first step kind of thing, right?

Well, yeah. Because...

I just wanted to be more...

Lathan sees himself as a 100% heterosexual male, straight, into women, yep.

I am a male, I am that and so I allow people to know this and I allow people to accept that and that's just how it is.

What happens when you get to love?

What?

What do you say?

I don't have to say anything.

Because that's something...

You don't?

No.

Do you think that maybe you're kind of wanting to avoid it?

No.

Because my romantic life is physical, I choose people who I know would be accepting and compassionate, no matter what.

And I'm allowing them to get to know who I am, not what I am but who I am, there's a difference there.

I'm also pretty dang strong.

Yeah.

I mean, I got some strength here.

Yeah.

I want you to know that part of me too.

Kick your butt on the ice, yeah.

Yeah, that's... that's current and that's what I want you to know.

Yeah.

You know, that is how someone loves you, and that is how I let other people love me and get to know me.

Not because of your problems but because of your strengths. No.

Yes.

I'm proud of you.

[Music playing]

Dad, do you like my foot?

You drew that?

Yeah.

I don't know, it was part of my concentration.

Hey, Dan, would you like some coffee?

No, thanks, I'm fine.

You're looking kind of intense, what's going on?

What are you working on over there?

Well, I was trying to get into my... my dating website.

Have you been having any conversations with anybody so far?

Well, nothing's gone anywhere really.

I'm really disappointed.

We've built this profile and I haven't had a message since, I haven't had anybody.

Oh, well, such is life.

I've done some of those sites and it takes... I mean, it takes months I think.

They're not looking at you as a person.

That's the best part of you is that you're... you're a great person.

And I just think if someone just takes that time to get to know you that, I don't know, the rest will come easy.

Yeah.

Not that I'm the expert on dating sites, but I have done them.

Wait, Mom. You've got a nice boy right now though.

I'm not complaining.

You are...

Not complaining at all.

It's like the first time you've dated somebody who's not weird.

Thank you, Danielle.

Yeah.

For that vote of confidence there.

I found him for your mother.

I did... I did have a little push from your dad.

Yeah. Tell the story.

And I was talking to him.

Because I saw him first.

Weird.

I really did.

Dan is my ex-husband but he's been my best friend since the day I met him.

What time'd you get home this morning?

Here, I'll cover our daughter's ears.

No comment there, no comments.

Remember when we first met?

I wasn't rusty back in those days, I had no problems finding dates but kind of funny.

Dad, didn't you have like, a p*rn star mustache back then?

It was like a...

Excuse me?

Yeah, he had a nice mustache.

That's what we call it, remember?

A p*rn star mustache?

You know Sarah's stepdad?

That's what he calls it.

Yeah, it's like the... it's like the little like, you know like, right here?

Yeah.

I saw it in pictures.

Yes, Danielle.

Well, I wouldn't have called it a p*rn star but it was a nice mustache, it went with your guy look back then and...

Yeah.

Very quick-moving relationship and you said, "I get pregnant easy."

Stop.

I wasn't kidding.

Wait, we're not talking about this.

We're done, done.

Okay.

Done.

Danielle.

Done, done.

We are not getting into like, birth stories right now and like, childbirth.

I'm not, no.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, does she know that she was conceived before we were married?

Yeah, she knows, I told her she's already in the wedding picture.

Done, done.

Stop.

You just need to find the right person and be patient and...

Dad, maybe you need to like, fix your dating profile.

That's kind of what I'm thinking.

The number that you're looking for, what does that number represent?

Do you... do you understand this?

Because...

We're looking for the fifth test score.

Ben?

Can you... can you for a second just listen to my words?

Since I started tutoring Ben, I've noticed hands-down the biggest problem is him not being mentally present.

Do you remember how we used to solve these problems?

Okay.

This is all just very simple algebra, like stuff that, you know.

It'll just take time to get back into doing it again.

Right. Yeah, yeah.

It's...

Hey.

How are you?

Good, how are you?

Doing well.

What's up?

Just teaching Ben some ACT math?

Yeah?

Yeah.

You ready to go?

Well, I was wondering if I can talk to you for a little bit before... before Ben leaves.

Sure.

Yes, you can have your phone back now.

Yes, I can have my phone.

Yeah.

What's up?

So, has Ben been doing his homework at home or studying at all?

Sometimes he does, probably most times no.

I give him all these assignments and every time he comes in not having done any of them, like at all.

And it seems like he doesn't ever, outside of these tutoring sessions, focus at all on school, schoolwork.

I feel like I'm the only one pushing him in that department sometimes.

I struggle with that, I struggle with finding that balance between pushing him to do his work and backing off and letting him...

Relax. I see a lot of stress...

Right.

... in his life in general.

The divorce alone would be enough but adding on the... the transition of Carly, that's definitely an added weight to bear.

Ben can study his little brains out but if he's not a person first, then it's... then it doesn't matter.

If you and Carly could try and just hold him a little bit more accountable for his schoolwork, you know.

Just try to hold his feet to fire a little bit more.

That's why I hired you.

[Music playing]

Do you want to do it that way?

But do you want to do it that way?

I'm down with whatever, man.

I think that's cooler just because that's bigger.

Have mouths touching.

I want this T-shirt business to work out as planned because something should work out as planned for once.

Ben?

Yo.

Ayton?

Danielle?

This place was so hard to find.

Sorry.

Do you know what you're doing?

Do you know what you're doing?

Please tell me you know a little.

I was in graphic design last year, learned a little bit about this.

So we got this, we got this.

Yeah, well, then we're fine.

It's kind of nice to like, have him call me and him... have him need me for something.

It's nice to be able to hang out with Ben.

We need to put on the photo light-sensitive stuff.

Does this come up, does it turn, does it twist?

You know, this is tough when you can't even get the thing open.

So this is what you're doing?

Yeah.

Dude, I feel so dumb.

Cool.

Is it just not opening?

I've got this like, multi tool thing.

You mean, we've been struggling to open this and you had the solution?

You had this the whole time?

Yeah. I mean, I didn't know that we needed a Kn*fe though, like...

Oh, hey.

Good job.

Not in your hands.

Do you want me to... you want me to high-five you?

Please?

Ow.

Fill container...

Half with water.

You cut me.

I'll kiss it.

No, no.

I like Danielle, it's just it's hard to trust feelings and people right now.

She did s*ab me though.

Do you want us to find you a band-aid?

No, we got to do this.

Okay, look at his hand.

We have to do this.

It's a little bit of blood.

It's whatever.

Ben's a man.

You should go was it off.

I'll be right back.

I'll be right back.

Is this supposed to look like this?

Do you know a better way of mixing?

Do you bake?

I'm all business and they're just fooling around.

Ow.

Somebody's got to get something done around here.

Oh, that's cool.

How could you guys just decide to do this and like just...

Do you not know how random we are?

Don't you remember camping?

Yeah, we're very random.

Alright.

Get your shirt.

We have to expose it.

It's kind of like when you develop a picture.

Do you know how long this is supposed to be exposed to?

I don't know everything.

Oh, god.

It's getting on my...

It's not like I cut your hand like Ben.

So sorry.

You cut me.

So I have the right to...

So sorry.

Don't even...

I would hug you but I don't want to get... Touch me.

Ooh, look at you being sassy.

No, don't. Don't.

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

Stop, stop.

Alright, alright.

Alright, you two.

You're hitting me in the face, you're...

Leave me alone.

Alright, guys.

Circle, I have my personal bubble and you have yours.

Stop it.

I feel like there's something between Ben and I, there's like a wall between us and I just wish I could break it down and like, you know, get through to him.

Yeah, I don't think my hands are supposed to be green.

Dude, they're not...

My hands are green.

I like your outfit, what is that?

Is it... are you wearing a corset?

Yes, it's a corset.

It's a flat-boned corset. I didn't expect you to wear a corset.

Poofy shirts and tight vests or corsets, that is me.

Chris lives in Oklahoma and we met very recently and we've been doing a lot of online video chats lately and I fell a very close connection.

We only met once at a party and I... I looked at you and I said something rude, I was like, "wait, you're a guy?"

Yeah.

I... I heard your voice drop and then you walked outside with your friend and I knew that I kind of offended you, because I honestly didn't know that you were born female, but you identify as a gay male.

It's very not gender-specific, is it?

Not at all.

Whenever I say that I'm transgender, I've had people that who ask me, male trans female or female trans male?

Because they can't tell, they just don't know which... which way I am.

I kind of love that, that ambiguity, I'm both and neither.

You reach a point at which it just doesn't matter anymore, you're just a person.

Yeah, I really respect you for that.

What is your ideal relationship?

I don't know, I actually have only ever been in one serious relationship, so, I mean, I don't want to be unrealistic and say that everything's got to be perfect and everything like that.

Yeah.

Because that's just not what happens and as you can see, it's still an upsetting topic for me.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to upset you.

Even love isn't perfect.

Yeah.

You know, you can expect it to come in different forms or have an ugly side.

What do you think about trans people and be completely honest.

There's no problems there, I know that you identify as a male.

Yeah.

I hope that I can be more aware of that and say "he" and...

I just... I want to be sure that that's exactly what you want and I know that now.

And I think that's awesome, it's really crazy.

And there's so much more to learn about me too as time comes.

Sounds wonderful.

I do believe in soul mates, I do.

Honestly, I think that I have found the love of my life, definitely.

I want to get to know you more.

Would you consider coming to visit me?

Yes, I would.

Yes.

I can't wait to actually be able to see you again, so I can just... we can actually talk face to face.

I'm looking forward to it.

Bye.

Bye.

Hey.

Hey.

That sounded personal.

Personal?

Yeah, who was that?

They sounded really nice.

That was... that was my friend, well, not my friend anymore because we're now seeing each other.

No way.

Oh, that's happy. That's happy.

Yeah. His name is Chris.

Chris.

Yeah.

I like that.

He just cares about me, he likes me and you know...

And I'm saying "he" because he is a female to male transgender as well, yeah.

No way.

I am really excited, I'm shaking, you know.

Does he... does he kind of know about you, if you know what I mean?

Know about me...

Does he know you're transgender?

Actually, no.

He doesn't know?

He does not know.

The reason for that is, is because you know, physically I am you know, this.

Did... did he...

But he never really... tell you that he's transgender or did you just know?

It's something that just came up naturally in conversation between us like "oh, I see".

So you didn't tell him too? Like, "oh yeah hey, me too."

It wasn't... No, that's not something...

Got it. that really, it's just not important, it really isn't.

Yeah.

I absolutely believe Lathan should come out to Chris.

I've seen it happen before when Lathan doesn't open up to their significant other and they end up finding out, a lot of bad things can happen.

I just don't want to see my brother get hurt again.

I feel like I'm being honest, I feel like I am being true... as true to myself as I possibly can because I am a guy, I just don't see myself as anything but that.

Yeah.

I'm really nervous.

Oh.

Oh, don't be.

Well, be just a little bit.

I am being very serious, I really have never felt this close to anyone in my life.

Yeah.

I feel like I can really just be myself.

Oh, my god.

Where should I start?

This is really happening.

Look at that smile.

I know.

You actually look a lot calmer than he does.

You have a meet-cute story and if it was in a movie, I'd be like,

"that is lame."

Nobody ever meets doing Romeo and Juliet.

Yeah.

At a regional theater in Vermont.

I discovered this the other day, women, only women wear engagement rings.

I know.

You're like branded like a cattle.

Yeah, it makes me uncomfortable, I feel like he should have a ring on.

Like a cow. Right.

Or like a stamp on his forehead, you know?

Mine.

Like just some way for them to know.

He is as equally not available.

As me.

Yeah, like why do we have to be the ones?

I mean, not me.

Who gets the jewelry? We do.

Yeah. But who cares about the jewelry?

When you have love.

Not that I would know.

I'm 0 for 23 in years in a relationship, it's awful.

Try some.

Wait, wait, I'll feed you.

A friendship.

Ben just sent me some pictures.

_

Can I see?

Oh, dude, you look really cute.

So cute.

[Together] So cute.

You know, sometimes he can actually be really sweet.

I don't think many boyfriends and girlfriends like, go out and have like, a photo sh**t.

Yeah.

So you're applying to colleges already, right?

Oh, god. Yeah.

College is kind of scary though.

I just don't really know what I want to do, you know?

Would you rather like, stay in state?

Or are you one of those people that are like,

"oh, I have to get out of here like, as soon as I get the chance."

I mean, I'm a little bit like I have to get out of here but there's also like, my mom and my dad and...

So what's that gonna mean for you and Ben?

I mean, he's a year younger than me, I don't really know what's gonna happen.

Maybe I stay in Chicago, who knows? But like...

Like, are you gonna try to do a long-distance relationship with him?

I don't really know if I'll be able to do that.

Really? But you guys are like, so crazy about each other at this point.

Yeah, I know.

So...

I mean, if we're still dating, that's cool but it's college, like, people break up and they move apart and everything and like, I know that happens.

I mean, these are nice pictures.

That's like profile picture-worthy right there.

Maybe I'll Insta one.

Totally.

Insta.

[Music playing]

What you think?

Cute, I like it.

It looks a little big, what size is it?

It was in the small section.

Oh, it is?

What about all these over here?

It looks kind of big.

Honestly, it's very flavorful.

Flavorful?

And it fits nice, ooh.

You're getting pretty buff.

Getting up there.

You're getting ripped.

Swoll.

So Emilia called me.

Uh huh.

She said you're having a hard time at school.

Oh, god.

Yeah, what's up with that?

Why?

I was just... I've been stressing and I just, I'm... there's a lot on my plate, so I'm just trying to do the best as I can and just get through.

I feel like you're using my, we'll say condition.

Your condition as an excuse?

Uh huh.

I wouldn't take it that far, I was just... I've been stressing and...

Don't use me as an excuse though, for other stuff.

I wouldn't.

Well, don't.

Because that's... that's garbage.

It's an excuse.

I like this.

You just don't want to talk about it, do you?

No.

No.

I hate talking about school, it's like bleh.

Carly fought her whole life for who she wanted to be and I know that Carly expects me to be a fighter, too.

But I don't know, I just, I don't know.

You can do it.

I can whip myself into action.

So...

Keep working with Emilia but you got to get 'em up, because that's not gonna fly.

Yeah, I know.

It doesn't make me feel like really buying you clothes.

Well...

So.

This was kind of like a bribery trip, I feel like.

I'll take Ben clothes shopping so we can talk.

Seriously.

Stop.

Whatever works.

Hey, does this color look okay on me?

It's not your color.

What do you mean, it's not my color?

I think it makes you pop.

Thank you, thank you.

Or a green goes with your skin tone.

Ben and I are gonna be taking pictures for my dad's online dating profile.

I want people to be able to see my dad as a really good person.

You've got a little lip, yeah, you've got a little lipstick on your teeth.

On my teeth?

They're good now.

It's kind of nice having a daughter that's very good with makeup.

What color is that you're putting on there?

It's a beige, Dad.

And this is going over the eyelid?

Yeah.

On the eyelid.

That feels good, I like that when somebody else does it to my eyes.

I've bought him a lot of makeup and tried to teach him how to do it, because I know that it makes him happy when he can like, look nice.

I definitely want him to have that.

I'm not sweating.

How does it look?

Looks good.

Are you gonna do my eyes?

How about you curl your own eyelashes because I don't...

No, no, no, I want you to do it because I don't really know how to do it, seriously.

Dad, I don't want to hurt you.

I use one of 'em, I never see a difference.

What's that?

Eyelash curler.

Here watch, let me show you how it works.

Let me see your eye.

Seriously, you just take it and...

Oh, I can't even get it.

It's...

Dad, it goes the other way, what are you doing?

I know, but did you feel me grab 'em?

Dad, you got mascara all over Ben's eye.

It's curls...

It tickles.

Is my eyelash magnificent now?

You need to open your eyes.

I do?

I think he needs a little bit more practice, he's not too good with the eyeliner and stuff like that.

He's like a teenage girl, he's still learning how to do everything.

Dad, stop moving your eyes.

It's watering, my eye's watering, you're making me cry.

Dad, beauty is pain.

Oh, it is painful.

You should tell that to Carly.

Am I camera-ready now?

You look fine.

Am I... seriously?

Dad, you look great.

Are we gonna take pictures with my glasses on or off?

It's up to you.

Off.

[Music playing]

Kind of like, pop your hip or something.

Oh, yeah.

I want some sex.

Just don't fall.

Dad, Dad, Dad.

Yeah.

Please, just...

In the past, when I've dated, I presented myself as a... as a... as a male.

And if we'd go on a date, maybe a second date, maybe around the third date, I would say, "I really got to tell you something."

Smile.

"I'm transgender."

It's always awkward, very awkward.

How many of the neighbors are watching right now?

This is the first time that I'm putting myself out in the world as who I am.

And that's a woman that just wants to be loved.

Do you mind, sir?

Yes.

Wow, that's cute.

Ben.

What?

I'm not doing anything. What are you doing?

I'm not doing anything.

The whole relationship between Danielle and Ben is... is somewhat funny.

Are we going to argue about...

Yeah, you still have mascara on your face.

I don't care.

You should care.

You do it.

I wish they'd kind of straighten it out, sort of, kind of.

It's not exactly working.

Yeah, I don't think saliva is gonna help.

Oh, there it is.

Here, Danielle.

What?

I want to get a picture with you.

Come here.

That was cute.

[Music playing]

Let's be honest, sometimes life sucks.

Sometimes it just feels like we're all alone but we don't have to be.

I have always been searching for that one person that would completely accept me and completely understand me and fate had it that I met Chris.

We all deserve someone in our life that understands us, even when we don't understand ourselves.

I hope some guy that I'm attracted to looks at me one day and says that I find you very beautiful.

Keep my fingers crossed.

Here I am.

Ben's a really super-bright, talented kid.

I want him to have the satisfaction of looking back when he's graduated knowing he got through it, even when he didn't want to.

Everybody needs someone to push them to become a better version of themselves.

Even me.