02x04 - Koreatown

[bunniefuu]

(movie playing over speakers)

Wow.

Mmm.

(turns off movie)

All right, time for bed.

Good night.

Give me a hug. (Sighs)

I love you.

Lina: Hey, what about me?

Did you see that?

Russ: What?

You get a huge hug, and I get bitch face.

I think that's her regular face.

Yeah, when she hates something.

Come on, she doesn't hate you, and, really, you can't be mad at her for bitch face.

Why not?

'Cause she got it from you.

What?!

Yeah, sometimes you make bitch face.

I do not.

Yeah, original bitch face.

See?

There it is.

Married
S02E04
Koreatown

Hey!

(laughing): Hi.

Hi.

Um, Harper's upstairs... go ahead.

(giggles) Hey, where's my hug?

(sighs)

Bye, honey.

My God.

This age, right, is just The worst.

The best.

Whatever. (Laughs)

Um, hey, so listen.

Uh, Ella's been having a tough time with sleepovers.

Crazy anxiety.

She told me... we've been, like, texting about it all day.

You guys text?

Yeah, all the time.

Oh.

Hey, hey.

Look, I don't want you to worry about Ella, okay?

She's gonna be fine.

Okay, thank you.

Russ: How about this one?

That one's too funeral.

Come on, that's an impressive look.

Thank... thank you, George.

Sorry.

(huffs) I don't see why I need to impress anyone.

Dude, it's your first day back since you went to rehab.

At my firm.

Marcus and the other partners should be trying to impress me.

Oh, my God, what did we talk about?

Ugh, I'm so sick of this apology tour.

I know, but look... it's almost over, right?

Okay? Just make peace with Marcus, and then you just get back to work.

You're right.

I just need to focus on the positives in my life right now.

Yeah.

Like Abby.

Totally.

She might be the one.

To marry?

No.

The one to break my celibacy with.

Are you still not doing it?

There are a lot of ways to do it without doing it.

The butt.

Come on, man.

Respect my celibacy.

Sorry.

I honestly thought a**l was okay.

Oh, look at this.

This looks great.

This is it, huh?

Yeah, this is it.

Okay.

Here, hold that.

Russ: Yeah, I like that one.

Marcus, I'm so sorry I made you so rich.

Do you want to go back to work or not?

I just want to be normal again.

That's it.

Marcus is ready to see you.

Dennis, Dennis.

Is this suit weird?

Will you just come to bed?

Uh-uh, the second I put my pajamas on, she's gonna call and make one of us pick her up.

I know it. (Scoffs)

Why haven't we heard from her?

Because she's fine.

She might be dead.

Just take off your clothes already.

No, it's bad luck.

(sighs)

Did she text you?

No.

Nothing.

Nothing from AJ either.

God, I hope he didn't do something stupid.

He is a grown man.

You don't have to take care of him.

You're not his dad.

I know.

Although with him... he might actually be dead.

Exactly.

In spectacular fashion.

I'm gonna check my e-mail.

AJ, open up!

Aj: Go away, man.

Come on!

I got Krispy Kremes!

Jesus.

What happened?

I had it taken in.

Thank you.

(doorbell rings)

Shh.

They're all still sleeping.

(whispering): Really? How'd she do?

Oh, she did great.

Come on in.

I'm so happy she made it through the night.

I know, right?

I don't know what you did to make her so comfortable.

I didn't do anything, really.

We just, you know, stayed up and talked and had fun.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

So you stayed up with them.

Yeah, it's a sleepover.

I love sleepovers, don't you?

Well, we don't really, um, have any yet,

'cause Ella's so embarrassed about everything.

I know.

Every time I try to talk to her about Trevor, she totally clams up.

Uh, who?

The boy that she's been texting.

She never said anything to me about a boy.

Sleepovers.

That's how you get the intel.

Trevor?

Yeah.

God.

Lina: Oh, good, you're home.

Hey, can you go pick up the cupcakes for me, please?

Uh... what cupcakes?

For Ella and her friends.

We're having a sleepover.

It's gonna be a fun night.

We?

Well, you know, probably... play some games, stay up late, gossip about boys, find out what's up with Trevor.

Who is Trevor?

The guy she's been texting. How do you not know this?

So the cupcakes?

Uh, I can't.

Why not?

'Cause AJ got pushed out of his firm.

Ooh, sh*t.

I know, I'm kind of worried about him, so the guys and I are gonna take him out.

Well, shouldn't he call his sponsor?

I think he's in between sponsors.

Wait, he didn't fire another one, did he?

(sighs) I don't know, I think this one was mutual.

Okay, I will get my cupcakes.

For your sleepover?

Yeah, for my sleepover.

For Ella.

Oh.

There's that face again.

(girls giggling, dance music pulsing)

Hello?

Pizza guy's here.

Just kidding, it's your mom.

Don't be weird.

Is it weird to ask for a tip?

(girls talking indistinctly, laughing)

Mmm.

(girls continue talking, laughing)

Shepard: All right, uh, so what are we celebrating?

(AJ chuckles)

Russ: Celebrating AJ's new life.

He's exploring new career opportunities.

Stop trying to spin it, man.

I was canned.

All right, then the occasion is: You're sad?

I'm not sad, I'm vengeful... Marcus has to pay.

All right, let's talk about something more positive.

Bernie: I have something positive.

I want to thank Russ for hooking me up with a new gig.

We're working together again.

Russ: That's right.

Back in business.

Shepard: Cheers.

Yippee, let's hear it for employment.

Let me tell you something about getting fired.

It sucks now, but I'm telling you, in a couple of weeks, it gets worse and, like, really bad for, like, a couple of weeks, but months from now you're gonna feel fantastic.

I've never been happier.

AJ (chuckling): Oh, yeah.

Jess said you never recovered.

Jess never recovered.

I've never been happier.

Whatever.

Tonight is about me.

Tonight. Yeah, right.

(girls talk indistinctly, muffled pop music plays)

(cell phone chimes)

Hi, um, I got your text.

Uh, so here's eye shadow, lip gloss, the works.

Cool.

Yeah.

Uh, so what are you gonna use it for?

We're doing a photo sh**t.

(gasps) Really? That's fun.

Do you need help? I-I can do a smoky eye.

No, I think we're good.

Harper: Can we look in your closet?

My closet?

That's cool.

That's cool.

No, that one's off-limits.

(gasps)

Cool jacket.

Uh, it's off-limits.

There's no way.

Ella, come on.

It's okay.

You know, just be careful.

Really?

Lina: Yeah.

Totally.

It's all good.

Awesome.

It took me ten years to build that company and six months for my partner to take it all away.

Marcus said, "Oh, hey, uh, don't worry. Take as much time as you need, friend. Get better, friend." And then he took that time to plot his coup.

Hey, you want me to introduce him to these guys?

That's not helping.

No, you know what I'd like you to do?

I'd like you to cut his d*ck off is what I would really like you to do.

I would just like to unzip his pants, take out his d*ck and chop it off and throw it in a Dumpster.

That's...

Man: Hey! Hey, man.

Kind of being a little loud here.

Aj: Oh, yeah?

You're being kind of loud!

Come on, man, all right?

You don't have to be like that.

It's my girlfriend's birthday.

Oh.

Yeah.

I'm sorry. That's not cool.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I-I...

I'm going through something.

Shepard: Hey, you know, the-the touching? The touching seems wrong.

Can I buy you a drink? Let me buy you a round.

How do I make this right?

We're good.

Please!

How do I ma... Oh!

We're good.

You see?

Marcus ruined that poor girl's birthday.

That's what I'm talking about here.

You know what? Let-let's go somewhere else.

Come on, somewhere fun.

What's fun? Where's fun?

Fire Island.

Barstow.

Wichita's a cool town actually.

Koreatown.

Hmm.

Koreatown's fun.

Great.

(Shepard stammers)

I'm out.

I don't leave the Valley.

You know that.

Harper: So, here's why Lily is lying.

Cooper told Lily that you were texting with Trevor and she was like, "Oh."

But what she didn't tell Cooper is that she was already texting Trevor or was she?

Ella: Uh, she wasn't!

She totally didn't start texting him until she found out that I want to text Trevor.

So, if Trevor was texting her, it was only replying to her text and not because he texted her first.

Lina: Wait.

Who texted who first?

I did.

Lily knew I liked him.

Slut.

Total slut!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't talk about each other like that.

Slut shaming?

No.

Feminism yes!

You know, lean in.

We're a sisterhood here.

I have an idea.

But I probably shouldn't say anything.

Well, what is it?

Ready for this?

TP Lily's house!

Lina: No.

Yes!

No, no. Whoa!

We're not gonna TP anyone's house.

That's... I have a better idea.

What about mani-pedis?

Mm, no thanks.

I knew my mom wouldn't go for it.

She's not like that.

Guys want to watch a movie?

Um... you know guys?

I just was thinking about, um, what you were saying and I realized that if you're serious about getting your point across...

...there's better ways than TP.

(girls gasp, chuckle)

Yeah.

Bernie: ♪ Ooh, ah ♪

(singing in Korean)

♪ But I miss you, miss you, miss you... ♪

(singing in Korean continues)

♪ My love. ♪

Thank you very much. My name's Bernie.

Have a good night.

(crowd cheering)

Man: Thank you, Bernie.

We're gonna take a little break and we'll be back...

Russ: Wow. All right.

So, what can I get you?

They got a Faux-hito, Mocktini or Abstinence on the Beach.

One of each, whatever.

What are you guys singing?

You want to join me in a Shinyee Jonghyun duet?

(scoffs)

What? It's the Glen Campbell of Korea.

Whatever.

You know what? I'll pick.

What is your deal, dude? Come on.

You were the one that suggested karaoke.

I'm not here for music. I'm here for her.

Bernie: Oh, a waitress.

Aj: No.

Mistress; Marcus' mistress.

Or girlfriend, whatever she is.

He takes from me, I take from him.

What does that mean?

It means I'm gonna take all the rage I'm feeling towards Marcus and channel it into making that lady come.

C-U-M.

Ah, the gentle art of seduction.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, let's assume for a terrible second that you do seduce her...

Oh, I'm gonna seduce her.

What about Abby?

Abby?

Yeah.

Abby...

I'll worry about Abby tomorrow.

Tonight we ride.

Come on.

AJ... this is stupid.

You're better than this.

We both that that's not true.

Bernie: Good luck.

Don't need it.

I know.

That was fast.

How does he do it?

(sighs)

Yeah?

It's on.

(chuckles) You know what?

I think I am gonna sing.

Yes!

Good idea.

Oh!

Hello.

So, you and AJ, huh?

You need to call the police.

The Gyung Chal... why?

Your friend said he would k*ll himself if... if I didn't sleep with him.

What?

No.

Damn.

He got game.

Aj: This song goes out to your waitress tonight, Grace, who is also the woman that is about to save my life.

(groans)

(whispers): Okay.

(girls shushing)

Wait, wait, wait.

Mom, what are we doing?! We can't do this.

What do you mean? You're the one who...

We should go now.

No, this is good for us.

What's going on with you?

What's your problem?

What's your problem?

(girls clamoring)

(gasps)

Uh-oh.

(whispers): Come on.

(girls clamoring)

(laughter, gasping)

Go! Go! Go! Go! (Girls shrieking)

We got go change!

Be quiet! Lily's gonna hear you!

Harper: That was so fun egging the house.

Your mom is super cool.

Right?

Hey, Mom, you want to watch a movie with us?

Uh, no, I'm gonna, um, clean up.

Okay.

Thanks for tonight. It was cool.

Glad you guys had fun.

Excuse me?

Hey, my friend would like to tell you something.

Look, when I said that I was gonna k*ll myself, what I really meant to say was,

"Damn, girl, you are so fine."

AJ! Okay, okay.

Okay, I wasn't thinking.

Marcus promised that I would always be a part of the firm.

And when I found out that that was all a lie, I lost it and I wanted to hurt him so bad.

Grudge-banging you seemed... logical. (Chuckles)

But now I realize it wasn't a good plan.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Yes. So, good night. We are leaving.

We will never bother you again.

Good night. Oh!

(speaking Korean) Come on.

Stop that. Come on.

Hey.

Marcus made me a lot of promises, too.

Said he'd leave his wife, get a dog, pay for my eyelid surgery.

Can I tell you something?

Sure.

I think your eyelids are perfect.

(AJ and Grace moaning)

It's a brand-new van.

Aj: Oh, yeah. That's right.

Forget it, Russ.

It's Koreatown.

(both giggling)

Hi!

Shh!

They're still sleeping.

Oh, okay.

How was the big sleepover?

Did you guys get crazy?

Um, I think...

Yeah, a little too crazy.

It, um... Oh, never mind.

Okay. Well, I guess if they're still sleeping, I'll-I'll drop this off at Lily's and then I'll come back, so, um, you know what's going on, right?

Uh, the texting and-and Trevor and the-the...

Uh, no, no.

Lily's mom is going through chemo.

You want to sign up for the meal train?

Chemo chemo?

Yeah, yeah.

(Bernie singing in Korean)

♪ ♪