01x09 - We Don't Read the Comments

[bunniefuu]

Jazz: Tonight on "I Am Jazz"...

Jeanette: This photographer that I met is gonna take pictures of Jazz underwater.

I've always loved mermaids.

That's me swimming. And it has 400 comments.

"Someone please sh**t it." What the hell?

There is a lot of hate out there.

The scariest thing is that we get the crazy people that will say, "I want to k*ll your child."

[Voice breaking] It's just so hard sometimes.

We're gonna keep you, little guy.

Greg: I consider us an ordinary family with some extraordinary circumstances.

I thought of it as an oddity.

I was devastated.

Jeanette: Jazz asked me, "what am I?"

And she would say, "Mommy, am I a boy, or am I a girl?"

This is my sister.

She's a girl.

She's a girl.

She's a girl.

I am transgender.

Greg: We love her just the way she is.

I am a girl. I am an artist. I am Jazz.

Jazz, you need some help?

Yeah.

What are you doing here?

Making a tail.

Besides making a mermaid tail, you know?

Is it quite obvious to you, Sander?

Yeah, it's kind of obvious, Sander.

There's just a giant hunk of scales and fin on the table.

I've always loved mermaids, and I've always wanted to be a mermaid.

I have this memory of my sister getting a mermaid toothbrush, and then I got The Cat in the Hat toothbrush.

And it's not that I didn't like The Cat in the Hat toothbrush.

It's just that I wanted the mermaid toothbrush.

Is this the design?

Yeah.

Jazz: As I got older, I was told that a lot of transgender individuals like mermaids because they have no genitals.

They just have a long, beautiful tail.

So I guess that's the reason why I've always been attracted to them.

And what is this tail for?

It's for this photo sh**t.

This guy... he takes pictures of transgender people, and he's gonna take pictures of me as a mermaid.

I have not been photographed as a mermaid by a professional photographer, with all the cool lighting and everything, and I think they're gonna be pretty awesome.

All right. I got this.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You're gonna record the video, 'cause we're making a YouTube video for this, too.

Oh, it's touch-screen?

And then you record.

Wow.

Sander, hey, what's up?

Hi.

All right, so, we got to get to work, don't we?

Safety comes first.

You have to wear your mask when you're mixing these venomous materials.

But there's only one mask for me, so I'll be the one who survives.

Time to turn the compressor on.

[Compressor whirring]

Sander, it sounds like you when you sleep!

Jazz started making mermaid tails with her sewing machine when she was 8, and she just was obsessed with them, and now she has her own mermaid empire.

Everyone get ready, 'cause we're about to add some color.

It takes many layers until it gets to the actual color that it will be at the end, but for now, this is just the first layer.

So let's continue.

Why is it so light?

I just explained.

No, but, like...

'cause it's the first layer!

I can't even see that.

Because it's the first layer. I s...

Even I understood that.

Didn't I just explain?

Let's continue!

Well, that's good.

Oh, there it goes.

Jazz: When I first started making the YouTube videos, it was this mermaid video that I posted.

Right now I am making a silicone mermaid tail, and I'm airbrushing.

And then it started getting a lot of views.

I started getting subscribers.

And I'm like, "maybe I should start posting more often."

And then I started posting transgender stuff.

All right, so let's check it out and evaluate Sander's abilities.

While it's uploading on there, let me show you some of my other videos.

Holy sh**t. 150,000 views?

Yeah. And it has 400 comments.

I'm pretty sure everything there is to know about me has been written online, whether it's in comments or, you know, articles or anything.

I mean, I think some of these people know more about me than I know about myself.

"Do you have to shave your legs more than once a day?"

That's just weird.

[Laughs]

"Sad that the devil is tricking you into believing you are meant to be a girl."

Go to good comments.

"You're a boy and always will be male."

"Who you are..."

"As an individual is a man.

There's no such thing as transgender.

That was something made up to make h*m* sound good and acceptance..."

Wow. That person needs some education.

"...than what it really is."

I think we're done reading these.

"Someone please sh**t it.

If not, I'm going to k*ll it myself and make it die a horrible, painful death."

What the hell?

Is "it" referring to you?

Yeah.

I didn't think anybody could be so cruel to say they would sh**t my sister.

Like, that's insane.

This worries me, like, someone saying they're gonna k*ll you.

Maybe they're just saying it, but if they actually mean it, like, it only takes one person. That's scary.

That's definitely something you need to show mom.

Yeah.

♪

Can you pay attention to me when I'm driving and talking to you?

I'm drawing.

Would you stop drawing an anus, please?

And put that down. [Laughs]

You know I was drawing anuses.

I was drawing private parts right from the start.

I know. I was there.

I got called into the principal's office.

Remember all my boob pictures?

I wonder why they were all saggy.

I have them.

'Cause you have the model of a mother that...

I know. That's what I was gonna say, but I didn't want to embarrass you.

I know. They were very familiar-looking.

[Laughing] They were very familiar-looking.

Jeanette: I'm driving Jazz to meet Rhys, who is a photographer that I've been speaking with for over a year.

And he travels around the country taking pictures of transgender people.

How's the tail coming along?

I think it's coming out great.

I really like the design, the colors, everything about it.

And I had Griffen helping me, and then Sander was taking a video of it.

While we were uploading the video, I was checking out some of the comments for some of my other videos.

Wait a minute.

We have a rule. We don't read the comments.

Do you have that moment of, like, "am I doing the wrong thing?

Should I not have allowed Jazz to transition?"

While we were uploading the video, I was checking out some of the comments for some of my other videos.

Wait a minute.

We have a rule. We don't read the comments.

Jazz tends to be very open and honest when she's making a YouTube video, and she doesn't realize the power of the Internet and how awful people can be.

It's really scary that people exist that have so much hatred towards your child and towards our whole family.

We saw this one comment.

It said "it" should die, or whatever, "someone should sh**t it," or something...

What?!

Something very harmful about wanting me to die or something, "I want to sh**t it," something like that.

I get physically ill, though, knowing that somebody out there is commenting, and I wish we could make them change their minds, but it's disturbing nonetheless, very disturbing.

I'm sorry that you had to read that.

Like, I don't want you to ever hear things like that.

Anyway...

[Belches]

That's attractive.

What happens when mermaids burp underwater?

Just a bubble?

Bubbles.

What happens when they fart? Can mermaids fart?

Do mermaids poop?

[Laughs]

Oh, lovely.

I could draw a quick picture for you.

[Both laugh]

♪

How are you guys?

Hi.

It's good to see you.

My name is Rhys, and I'm a photographer, and I'm the creator of the transcending gender project.

Thanks for coming to meet.

Thanks for having us.

So, I just wanted to talk a little bit about what inspired this sh**t.

I myself am transgender, and with this project, I really want to help change the assumptions that people make about transgender people.

I really wanted to show that we're more than just our trans identities.

I wanted to go beyond that and show we're doctors, we're children, we're parents.

I wanted Jazz to be a part of this project because I feel like we want to share this message that it's good to be who you are.

Jazz is unique.

You know, she makes mermaid tails.

Not everybody does that.

Jazz: You know, everyone, it's almost like they labeled me as the "transgender girl," and I don't want to just be the transgender girl.

I want to be Jazz, and I want to be a mermaid, and I want to just be myself.

Jeanette: I think it's really important for Jazz to participate in a photo sh**t like this, because it's a huge challenge to try to educate the public.

People think that transgender people are just freaks.

There's a lot of hate out there.

So where's the sh**t gonna actually take place...

Like, at the beach or...

I was actually thinking we could do it right in your pool.

Oh, that would be cool.

The other thing that we're gonna do with the sh**t is there's another local trans youth.

Her name is Jojo.

She's gonna be in some of the photographs with you.

We know Jojo.

We love Jojo.

She's like 5, 6 years old.

She's beautiful.

She has a tail.

Oh, she has a tail?

Yeah. So we'll do some tail sh*ts together.

Jeanette: Jazz is not the only transgender girl that loves mermaids.

Between 90% and 95% of all trans girls that I know about, they all love mermaids.

You'll be like the Little Mermaid.

You can blow bubbles and all that stuff.

[Laughs] Stop it.

She does, like, this thing, you know?

I saw that, yeah.

You like...

[Laughs]

Let's stop talking about blowing kisses.

♪

So, you think mermaids are real?

I mean, I don't know if mermaids are real.

I think if you believe that anything is possible.

But, I mean, they do say less than 99% of the ocean has been explored or whatever, so...

Maybe there's an underwater mermaid Atlantis land.

[Laughs]

I think it's really exciting that Jazz is doing a photo sh**t as a mermaid, because she is a mermaid.

Feel comfortable for the photo sh**t?

You're gonna be ready?

I want it to be really awesome and memorable.

Did I tell you about the comment I saw on YouTube?

No. I just know there's a lot.

Well, I was with the boys, and we were, like, scrolling through some of my YouTube videos, and someone commented.

They were like, "oh, I want to k*ll this person."

They're like, "it should die." It should... Whatever.

Oh, my gosh.

People have nothing better to do with their lives.

Like, that's messed up.

The nasty comments about Jazz online really hurts my heart, because for some reason, they don't think she's human or whatever, and I feel like they're very ignorant.

But there's always gonna be those people in the world, and how do you feel when you see that?

Like, at first, I was a little bit upset, but now I'm just like... I don't know.

I'm just, like, fired up.

Like, I'm, like, ready to work harder and share my story more.

I really think the fact that Jazz can block out all the haters is a part of her personality.

I can't even imagine, like, how I would feel.

I just really don't want those people to get near her, and I don't know what would happen if they did, and that really worries me.

Ooh, a breeze. Ah! It feels so good.

So, what are you up to?

Sharon is an old friend of mine that I met about 10 years ago.

Her daughter was in the same grade as Jazz.

So, she gets it.

She understands our family dynamic.

What's your weekend?

Jazz was asked by this photographer that I met.

He goes around the country, and he takes pictures of transgender people.

He's gonna come and take pictures of Jazz underwater.

Like mermaid?

Yes. In the mermaid tail.

She's working on the tail right now.

It's not quite done yet.

That's cool.

She and the boys are making a tutorial.

So Jazz was uploading the videos that she made on YouTube, and she saw some really hateful comments.

It was really, really disturbing.

Like threatening?

Well, I'll read it to you. Hold on.

You know I've gotten bad ones before, but this one was really sick.

Okay.

"Someone please sh**t it.

If not, I'm going to k*ll it myself and make it die a horrible and painful death."

Sick.

And those are the people that scare me.

This world is still a really scary place for a kid like Jazz, and we can't get too cushy at any point in time and think that everybody's loving and accepting.

Not everybody is, obviously.

You have all the haters saying horrible things about you.

When you see all that and you hear all that, do you have that moment of like, "am I doing the wrong thing?

Should I not have allowed Jazz to transition?"

At the time, I was questioning everything, because I had nobody to guide me.

It would have been so easy to just say, "you know what?

We're not doing this.

You're a boy, you're a boy, you're a boy."

That would have been just nothing.

It would have been like, "okay, we're starting kindergarten as a boy...

As an unhappy, miserable boy."

Jeanette: I know people that say what we're doing is wrong, but...

As a parent of a transgender child, you have to be able to say, "I don't care what other people think.

What I care about is my child."

That's not easy.

Who knew what it was gonna look like?

I did not have a crystal ball back then.

It would have been nice if I did.

Jazz was never gonna take no for an answer.

We didn't really have a choice.

And you know what? Had we not done this, we might have a child that's not with us anymore.

The scariest thing, I think, is that we get, like, the crazy people out there that will say, "I want to k*ll your child."

[Voice breaking] I just love her so much.

Jeanette: Isn't this nice in here?

It's delightful.

I love this place.

I could spend a lifetime eating cheese.

I can always tell what you're drinking.

I know. It's like the mark of Zorro.

If I want brighter lipstick, I just have to suck on your straw.

[Both laugh]

Think back to when I was little.

What would you have done if, as a little girl, I didn't act like a little girl, that I only wanted to dress like a boy?

Probably would have done the ordinary, the usual, which was forcing you to be who you weren't.

I can't imagine different in those times.

We may have known what a transgender person was, but that would not have been in our lexicon.

We would not have known.

We would have put a round peg in a square hole and stayed with it, not knowing even what the risks were.

Jacky: In my time, you followed the pattern.

You raised a child for the sex they were born in, and that's who they were.

And if she said she wanted to be a boy and she's born a girl, I don't think she would have been beaten with a strap or anything.

Maybe she would have been put in the corner to think about it for a few minutes.

But it would not have been allowed.

There are people out there that question, that are saying, "okay, you know, I understand you let Jazz transition.

I get that part.

But how could you let her go on those hormones?"

You had decisions to make and a road to cross.

And as far as I'm concerned, through my eyes, you absolutely made the right choice, and no one will ever convince me differently.

Jeanette's a mother tiger.

She's laid herself out for the journey that she's on, and she wants others to hear and to know and to do.

And I am just blown away by her.

And I'm getting emotional. I'm learning from her.

Mm-hmm.

You just put your energies into the positive, and you just have to go around...

Move forward, tackle the future, and make it better as best we can.

We just got to continue to do that.

♪

Come on in! Meet my husband.

Greg: Hello.

Hey, Greg. It's nice to meet you.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Hey, Jazz. How's it going?

Good to see you again.

Jeanette: And look who else is here!

Hi, Jojo. I love your hair.

Is this your tail?

Yeah.

Yeah, we brought her tail.

Oh, that's beautiful. Is that your favorite color?

And purple, rainbow.

It changes on a daily basis.

Jazz: At the time that I transitioned, I was, like, one of the only people transitioning at such a young age.

And it was a little bit scarier for me, because no one else was like me.

Sit down with Daddy. Please, sit down.

And to see this little girl in this photo sh**t who was also transitioning, it almost reminds me of a little version of myself.

Ready for this?

Look right here, all right? There you go.

Beautiful. There you go.

Big smile, sweetheart.

Oh! That's the one.

All right.

Are you guys ready to get some swimming sh*ts?

Yeah!

♪

Rhys: Seeing Jazz interact with Jojo is just so adorable.

Yay! Mermaid!

To see her in action, doing her thing, mentoring another transgender kid, it's really beautiful.

Jeanette: I look at them, and I am, like, Jazz looks so big, doesn't she?

Yeah.

Jacqueline: This is a dream come true, to have her in the pool with Jazz and be a mermaid, like, it's actually coming true. It's amazing.

Look at her go.

Jeanette: You know, I remember back when Jazz was that young and we were transitioning at age 5, and I remember back then, it was just so hard.

Yeah, I mean, it's kind of, like, new to us, but still, like, we've been watching it for three years now.

And she walked around like, "why don't you see me for what I am?

Why can't you see me?"

Yeah, yeah.

And I could see it, but other people saw a little boy, and it wasn't her.

And it's so hard to cross over that line, like, "okay, we're gonna change the pronoun."

I mean, it's, like, such a big deal.

She told us.

She said, "I'm not doing this anymore?"

"I want you to say 'good girl, ' not 'good boy' anymore."

How old, about, was she, when she said that?

She was 4 when she told me that and just, like, at the end of preschool.

Once we start doing the research on them...

Mostly Jacqueline did the research and stuff like that.

And we've realized that we found out what the su1c1de rate is for people who... Parents who don't accept.

And, plus, going back to stuff people would say, "well, you know, how could you make that decision?"

Well, it wasn't our decision.

It's gonna be a hard life for her.

We know that.

Nobody wants a hard life like that for their child.

But when you look at the alternative...

Absolutely.

Parents need to see kids like ours.

But do you have anybody in your life that made you feel like you were doing the wrong thing?

Did you ever get that?

When my brothers would see Jojo, she would dress like a girl.

They thought it was something we were pushing her to do.

You try to explain it to them. It's not...

We're not trying. We don't want her to do this.

I was well aware that there were people gossiping and saying things, and to this day, there are people that judge and say that we're doing a horrible thing.

Jazz has YouTube videos. I have YouTube videos.

And the scariest thing, I think, is that we get, like, the crazy people out there that literally will say, "I want to k*ll your child."

The scariest thing, I think, is that we get, like, the crazy people out there that literally will say, "I want to k*ll your child."

Jacqueline: It's terrifying, knowing that somebody might want to try to hurt my child.

She's 6 years old. It's very disturbing.

Yeah.

[Sighs] You know, we've got a ways to go, and I know that there could be trouble ahead.

What do you... Any words of wisdom?

No, it's probably something you already do, but it's the love.

It's that unconditional love. We just drown her with it.

Like, I can't... [Sighs]

[Voice breaking] I just love her so much.

[Laughs, sobs]

You too.

It's just so hard sometimes.

Jeanette: It is an enormous challenge to try to educate people.

I mean, there's a lot of haters out there.

That's why we've shared our story.

We want Jojo and other kids like Jojo to not have to endure some of the issues that Jazz has had to endure.

Jojo represents the future, and there are a lot of kids at Jojo's age that can be inspired by Jojo now.

You know what?

It's also we're in agreement 100% on what we do.

We talk about things.

Not every decision is really easy.

Joe: Yeah.

But we all stick together.

Yeah.

I'm not gonna tell you it's not gonna be rough.

There's gonna be kids out there that are mean. There's bullies.

But when she comes home, you have to say, "you know what?

Love yourself. You're amazing.

You're beautiful. You are the greatest.

And who cares that you were born with a penis?

It doesn't matter.

You're the most beautiful girl in the world with a penis.

You know what?

We love you, and that's all that matters."

We'd be lost if we never got ahold of you guys and being able to talk to you.

Greg: I just want to take all of our experience and all of our pain and happiness and slide it over to them and make them have to not go through some of the hard processes that they're gonna have to go through.

You should be so proud of yourselves, and we're here for you.

Ever, anything, you call me, night or day.

I know I like to. When they get together.

And they're just so happy, and let's keep them that way.

Hey, guys, I think that's a wrap.

That's it?

That's it.

Awesome. That was fun.

You are quite the mermaid! Give me five!

Jojo: I had fun today because we got to put on tails and we went swimming and we got to do a photo and we got to go to Jazz's house.

Let's go swimming.

[Laughs] She wants to swim some more.

Go ahead.

All right, let's do some more swimming.