04x20 - Sprang Break Part 1

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Awkward...

I found your biological father.

I did not ask you to do this.

I made contact with my biological dad, and I'd really like for you to be there with me.

Even though spring break was gonna be me stuck in a house in Mexico with Ally and Sadie, I was still excited, because Matty was coming after all.

The future held lots of possibilities, including dying on the side of the road with my mother in Mexico.

Jeez, I wasn't even going that fast.

Mom, Mexican police are corrupt.

People get snatched off the roads all the time only to be thrown in jail and never to be heard from again.

Not if they know how to work it.

Hola, señor.

I am so, so sorry.

Was I doing something naughty?

I'm just so excited because my sister and I are headed down to Rosarito for spring break.

While my "sister" engaged the police, I engaged in a little masochism, A.K.A. checking my inbox for admission emails.

Wycoff was the last college I had applied to, and the only one that hadn't rejected me, so far.

I.D., please. Passport.

Oh, come on, what was I doing?

Has your sister been drinking?

Sadly, no.

The officer is not here to ruin our vacation.

He is here to help us, right?

Señora, maybe I can let you off with a warning.

But you need to make sure that you are much more...

[Women screaming]

¡Manos arriba! ¡Manos arriba!

[Screams]

Oh, it's okay, officer!

My sister just got into college!

[Screams]

Ah!

I'm so excited.

I thought the beach house was supposed to be on a... beach.

Ah, I think smell the ocean.

Or maybe that's just the alcohol.

Finally.

Jesus.

Ugh, you brought Little Bitch?

She got into college.

Wycoff College.

We are celebrating!

J, you got into college?

Yes!

Oh, I am so happy...

And relieved.

Not that I was losing sleep or having bouts of trichotillomania or anything.

So we're on spring break, peoples!

Let's max this mother-fondler out.

Yeah.

Entrada.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Here she is, my college girl.

Awesome.

Infinite O.M.G. Where?

Wycoff. I can finally relax and enjoy the rest of my senior year.

Yeah, better soak up some rays and bask in your complacency to prepare for a life of desperate mediocrity.

Sadita, chill, lady.

Mmm, ah.

Oh, I'm so tired from the drive.

We almost got m*rder*d, by the way.

I'll tell you all about it later.

Right now, I just... I need a nap.

What?

p*ssy.

Jenna.

You know I'm sorry, right?

It was lame of me to put all that stuff that went down with Gabby on you.

Well, yeah.

I'm sorry she's not coming, though.

You know, I have been thinking a lot about how you went out of your way to help get in touch with my biological dad.

I was glad to.

I wanted to do it, but I guess I needed a push.

I mean, as usual, you totally get me.

Well, we get each other.

Yeah.

So are you going to see him?

I think so.

I'm just waiting to hear back from him.

I'm a little freaked.

But, hey, this is our last spring break together, right?

So let's really max it out, okay?

I wasn't sure if "together" meant together together or just together.

But whatever "together" meant, I was so glad to be together with Matty again.

Man, you are ti-ight, Sadita.

I can't stand seeing that tragic little STD dispenser act like a pig in [Bleep] just because she got into some lame college when I still haven't heard from my stank-ass scholarship.

Don't worry about that now.

You would be worried too if your future were hanging in the balance.

Babe, I worry about my future all the time.

I just don't make the whole world suffer for it, okay?

You're living your future.

You go to community college.

You'll probably be a cop like your dad.

Hey, I never said that.

I'm open to other stuff, and you should be too.

Everything isn't so black-and-white.

All I'm saying is, no matter what happens, a smart, beautiful girl like you will do just fine.

Maybe.

So do you think I'm more smart or more beautiful?

Parasailing, zip-lining, deep sea fishing.

Biggie's done all of this.

What I really want to do is swim with the dolphins.

They are so cute and so smart, and that's exactly how I like my fish.

Well, that or beer-battered in a taco with an ice-cold egg nog.

Dolphin's aren't fish, Val.

They're mammals.

Mammals that breathe water?

I guess my cats are fish too, huh, Jake?

I hope that wasn't on the SATs Whoa, where are you all going?

We're going to the beach.

Why?

You got alcohol, sun, pool right here.

God, I hate children who don't know how to party.

Pshh, I know, right?

[Knocking]

What are you peg boys doing here?

Social anthropology.

Studying the bitch out of water.

And getting this party started!

Whoo!

Sorry, you weren't invited.

But there's plenty of room on the beach with the murderers and vagrants.

You're welcome.

Hold up.

We brought the best party favor ever.

Lissa?

Lissa, are you okay?

No, I was in prison.

Mommy kept me in the house ever since I was suspended.

And I was atoning, like, 24/7 in my room with The Good Book, and then...

And then we broke her out of that hell-hole and brought her to you kind people.

Jesus, that is desperate.

I don't care about Jesus anymore if he doesn't want me to be with Tyler.

Mommy can't make me, Mommy can't make me!

Now, you kids are the kind of children I like.

Oh.

Lissa really had turned over new leaf.

Or maybe she'd smoked some new leaf.

Man, this beach is busted.

It's like every junkie south of the border douched out all their [Bleep] on the sand.

[Phone dings]

[Gasps]

Yo, boys, just got a text from Ty-Ty.

He's on his way.

He's meeting me here, and we're gonna screw our brains out.

Would that be okay with you?

Just put a towel down.

I want my deposit back on the rental.

Hey, Jenna.

Jenna, hey.

I just heard back from my bio dad, and we're gonna meet up tomorrow.

I was wondering, maybe...

Maybe you want to come with me?

Yes, of course. I'd love to.

It'd be really, really nice to have you there.

Matty, no matter what happens, I'm sure you'll be glad you did it.

Okay.

It seemed more and more that by, "let's enjoy spring break together,"

Matty really did mean together together.

So how long are you gonna wait?

Until Biggie comes.

He said to wait right here, and so I will.

My love is blind and unconditional.

Okay, good luck with that.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

I didn't know he was packing all of that.

I did.

Heads up.

Ooh.

Ah.

Oh, are they looking at us?

Please, please, picture with us.

Oh, my God, they think you're Peeta and I'm Katniss.

American rock star and video girl.

♪ Uh-uh-uh, uh-uh ♪
♪ And then it all comes together ♪

Oh, my God, they know my song.

Oh, yes, very big in Japan.

Both: We're big in Japan!

What are you guys talking about?

Our video, My Way To You, has, like, 12 million hits and thousands of comments.

In Japanese, but clearly it's huge.

These girls were star-struck by me.

Alyssa Milano is big in Japan.

Well, big is big.

We're gonna strategize so we can monetize.

We're gonna make another video.

♪ Shake it if you've got it ♪
♪ Shake your body ♪
♪ Shake it if you've got it ♪

[Doorbell dings]

He's here!

Darling Lissa.

Wow.

It's a whole new you.

I know.

I fell from grace and into a big old pile of sin, and I love it.

She's doing her best to keep up.

But we're the professionals.

Ready?

Cabs are as slow as everything else in this mess of a country.

Oh, Jenna, you're aren't coming to T.J.?

Uh, Tijuana?

No thanks, we're gonna stay in.

Yeah, and kick it old-school.

I didn't want to go out, because I was perfectly content looking forward to my future in college and to my big day with Matty tomorrow.

I'll go get my truck.

Meet you out front.

I felt content and hopeful and warm.

Hey.

I should have known that that warm, content, and hopeful feeling wouldn't last, because once again I was going to be left out in the cold.

[Mouthing]

Honey, what just happened with Matty?

Nothing.

Please talk to me.

Can't we just have a truce?

You got into a great college.

Life is good again.

Matty and I were supposed to drive up to San Diego to meet his bio dad, but then Gabby showed up.

Sweetheart, don't spend the rest of your time in high school hung up on Matty.

You need to focus on yourself and your own needs.

That's how I cope with your father.

Okay, it's not exactly the same thing, but you know what I mean, right?

Yeah.

Sadly, I do.

And don't live in your head so much.

I can see it, your wheels always turning.

Just relax and live in the moment, okay?

Well, look who it is.

Hair of the dog, anyone?

Ooh, another exotic...

Mexican dish?

You know, some people think that more alcohol is actually the best cure for a hangover.

You're amateur hour, Val!

Keep the buzz a-buzzin', Ms. Marks!

Buzz-buzz!

We saw what you call a donkey show.

Not your typical circus act.

There were no clowns or children.

I think there were peanuts.

It was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen that I was not a participant in.

Oh, please, that donkey show was nothing.

The world is full of sick and disgusting stuff, so just get over it.

Live it up, lap it up, b*tches!

[Giggles]

Let's go to bed.

I'm hungry.

I could lay here in bed all day.

We don't need to be anywhere else.

[Phone dings]

[Gasps]

Man, Sadita, you almost just broke my face.

I got it.

I won that [Bleep] scholarship.

Good-bye, Palos Hills.

Hello, New York City.

Pretty soon it will all have just been a bad dream.

Wow, Ty-Ty.

That's what we've been waiting to do.

For so long.

And now we did it.

Yay.

Yay, indeed.

♪ This song is just a sketch ♪
♪ A stray idea that I'm trying to catch ♪
♪ A little doodle from my noodle ♪
♪ Plucked from the ocean of my brain ♪

I love it.

I want an overexposed, sun-drenched, beachy vibe.

Coolio?

Coolio.

His life is just a string of throwback Thursdays and flashback Fridays.

Based on my scientific market research, I.E. those screaming Japanese girls on the beach, they don't give a rat's ass about those whorish girls in bikinis, and are all about my Harajuku-adjacent style.

Well, they like us together.

Obvi.

There's a chemistry.

Why did we break up again?

Should we give the people what they want?

So would you rather make a p*rn?

It might be less offensive.

It was one of those earth-shattering moments when I thought my mom was actually right.

I just needed to breathe, smell the ocean, and enjoy the view.

Hi.

I don't mean to be bothering you, if that's what I'm doing.

No, I was just... looking around.

Perfect day, huh?

Yeah, the weather's nice.

Well, how about this?

It... could be the perfect day.

You must be really nervous.

I'm glad you're here.

Hi.

Are you, by any chance, Daniel Durand?

Hey, yo.

I'm Danny. Hi.

Oh, I'm so stoked you looked me up, Matt.

I think you got my eyes a little bit, right?

Huh, Gab?

Yes, I totally see it.

So... you an athlete, or what?

I was pretty serious about football.

Yeah, I was a good receiver, but I was more into surfing and smoking out.

Yeah, I'm a soccer player.

Oh, good, good. Nice, man.

Yeah, I'm hoping for a scholarship to come through soon.

Awesome, man, well, good.

Stay in school, man.

That's a good thing.

Yeah, I mean, you know, sometimes I wish I had gone myself, but I don't know how it would have helped with this gig, right?

Hey, salud.

Salud.

Salud.

I wouldn't normally talk to a dude who tried to pick me up on the beach, but seeing Matty go off with Gabby was a wake-up call.

So you're a marine.

Yes, ma'am, I am.

I'm over at Camp Pendleton right now, but I ship out for my first tour of duty in a few days.

So you've always wanted to be in the Marines?

Yeah, I have.

And I also wanted to study marine biology, and I know the service will pay for it once I get out, so I really hope I can get into scripps in San Diego.

It's the best program in the world.

Brian and I were about the same age, but he seemed so much older.

[Phone dings]

He knew exactly what he wanted out of his life and how he was gonna get it.

Talking to him made all my worries about college, my mom, Matty, seem so trivial.

I'm gonna go meet my buddies in town.

We're kind of down here for one last hurrah.

But...

Do you want to swap numbers?

I would...

I would really, really like to see you again before we go.

That's not even my good side, and it's not the side featured on My Way Back To You.

Continuity is key in good branding.

I'm pulling up the old video.

Babe, it's all Gracie Allen white noise to me.

You know, I could read a little Japanese, if you'd like me to translate the comments.

Yes.

Dude, you've been holding out on us.

Uh, oof.

Actually, perhaps I over-estimated my skill set.

Jesus, Tyler, don't be such a p*ssy.

Just read it.

Well, you know how cruel people can be on the Internet.

Yeah.

Well, the overall tenor of these comments is rather, um, jocular.

What the hell does that mean?

Well...

"I think it's hilariously amateur, and the blond boy, he looks kind of like Leonardo DiCaprio."

He really is big in Japan.

Oh, yeah, I know.

"The girl looks like Harajuku, but very three-years-ago."

[Gasps] That's enough, thank you.

God, Jake, how did I get caught up in you and your ridiculous nonsense again?

Me?

You were practically planning to move to Tokyo, practically shopping for wedding rings and hyphenating last names.

Well, excuse me for finding you so relentlessly endearing.

God, you got me sucked into your vortex of need and greed.

That sounds like a good thing.

It's not.

Put a fork in Jakara, 'cause this shiz is toast, and I'm out.

So this is where you smash your guitar, right?

Piss off.

I am so out of the West Coast, losers.

Hey, Sadita, take that West Coast hate down a notch, okay?

Some of us like it here.

Some of us are stupid.

Yeah, some of us are, Sadita, and rude too.

Hey, man. Gabby.

We're glad you could make it to Rosarito.

Hey, everyone.

I'm really glad too.

Where have you been all day?

Well, kind of crazy.

We went and saw my biological father.

Wow, intense.

You were keeping this a secret?

Yeah.

It had been our secret.

O.M.G., all the familial factoids, stat.

Did you bond?

Did you hug and laugh and cry?

Was it an emotional mash-up?

Did you video?

He was a very cool guy, and he had Matty's smile.

It was just uncanny.

I was so glad Matty wanted me to come.

Yeah, still processing.

It was cool.

He's cool.

Looks pretty good for his age, you know?

You gonna see him again?

Probably, yeah.

It was... exhausting, actually.

Lot of emotional stuff coming up.

I'm really wiped, so I'm just gonna hit the sack.

I'm sorry, just hang out with everyone, okay?

Okay.

Bye.

I could tell he wanted to talk to me but, given the circumstances, couldn't.

I couldn't help feeling a little sad, but I was also thinking about Brian, about how big the world outside of high school and Palos Hills was, and how small this would all soon seem.

So...

Should we [Bleep] like animals?

We could.

If we [Bleep] like animals, let's do it like bunnies.

They're so cute and fluffy.

Or we could go get churros.

They're good in Mexico.

We can... do anything we want.

Indeed we can.

It's not as fun like this, is it?

Well, the prohibition added an element of danger.

I know, and now it's so boring.

That's not what I meant.

It's okay, Lissa.

Should we quit while we're ahead?

I think so.

I'm sure our paths will cross again, but for now let's part with a kiss.

Do you ever listen to yourself, Sadie?

Um, all the time, Sergio.

I have a really loud voice.

Well, you might want to cut other people a break sometime.

Don't make me seem like a heartless bitch just because I have higher aspirations than going to a J.C. and working on a food truck.

That's not why you seem like a heartless bitch, Sadie.

And I think you're smart enough, Miss Columbia U., to figure that out.

Don't go.

And don't call me Miss Columbia U.

It makes me sound like a pageant whore.

Look, Sergio, I'm sorry.

Yeah? Okay.

Why not try a little harder to be nice while you got me around, okay?

Okay, I will.

Jesus, you're a lot of work.

[Scoffs]

Whatever and whoever had come between Matty and I, I could tell he really needed to talk to someone who understood about his crazy day.

[Knocking]

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I'm just checking in on you, seeing how you're doing after meeting your bio dad.

Yeah, I'm fine.

That's it?

I mean, did you feel like you guys clicked, or...

Jen, I'm sorry, but Gabby's right down the hall.

If she finds us and we're both, you know...

Can't just always keeping falling into old habits, right?

Okay.

All right.

Oh.

Good night.

Good night.

I had helped Matty find his bio dad and wanted to share his journey with him, but if he didn't want to share with me, well, I was surprisingly okay with it.

If it was so easy for him to close the door right in my face, well, I could close the door on him too.

Next on Awkward...

What you got here, son, is your soulmate.

I've only known you for a couple days, but I see a strong girl in front of me, with a big life ahead of her.

Well, hello, T.

Hi.

Adam is, like, amaze-arama.

It's like I look at him and I forget to talk.

Have you seen Jenna?

Stop, Matty.

Excuse me?

You had your chance.